Anata
Dick clenched his bouquet of lilacs tightly but not too much for fear of crushing them. He froze backstage standing in front of her dressing room door. His mind went back and forth trying to figure out how scummy he must be to try and meet her literally two days after breaking off his engagement with Barbara. On the other hand, the exclusive VIP pass was not cheap at all.
"She's really nice," a voice behind him said.
"Huh?" Dick looked to the side.
Her bodyguard, Tommy, had been standing in the corner watching Dick stand around for nearly fifteen minutes.
"If she had it her way, she'd have a table and booth set up so she could meet all her fans," Tommy continued, "But the production company got worried when a few creeps showed up. That's why the passes are so expensive."
"Ah. Sure it isn't capitalism at its finest?" Dick joked.
"Eh, there may be some of that."
"What's she like?"
"She's very cheerful. She loves making people happy. She's witty. Got some sass to her. Trust me, I've been on the receiving end of that whenever she thinks I'm overbearing. But she's kind. She does a lot of charity shows at children's hospitals."
"You haven't changed one bit, Zee," Dick whispered to himself.
"She's waiting for you y'know," Tommy nudged him.
"Huh? Why would she-" Dick asked.
"We let her know if these passes get purchased before the show. So, she knows if she's got a meet-and-greet each night. You're making her wait."
"Oh, right. Sorry. I thought you meant something else," Dick stammered.
"What else would I be talking about?" Tommy winked, "Anyway, I'm supposed to keep track of your allotted time but uh I'm in the mood for some hot coffee. I'm gonna go to that there Starbucks across the street. The line looks long. I don't know when I'll be back. But man, I really need that cup of joe."
"Uhhh ok."
"Yup. I'm just gonna leave my post for an indefinite amount of time. No one else is here as they're almost done wrapping up the set. It'll be just you and her," again Tommy tried winking.
"Right."
"Off I go to get some coffee!"
With that, finally Tommy went around the corner. Dick watched with a raised eyebrow still not entirely sure what just happened.
"She should invest in better security," Dick wondered aloud.
Finally, he mustered all his courage and knocked on the door.
"Come in!" she cheerfully called out.
Opening the door, Dick was almost blinded by a sight he hadn't seen in so long. Sitting right in front of the lit-up vanity mirror was his first love, Zatanna Zatara. She took a sip of her latte before standing up to greet her VIP guest. Her father's top hat sat in the corner, but she still wore her jacket and corset that Dick had seen in the ad. His throat dried up now that he saw her long legs in those fishnets. Her shorts hugged her hips nicely forcing him to blink a few times. Her blue eyes sparkled just like they did all those years ago.
"Hi there," she greeted with a smile.
"Uhhh hi! Um these are for you," Dick stuttered while presenting the bouquet of lilacs.
"Oh! Why thank you, these are lovely," she accepted the flowers and took a big whiff, "Mmm these smell amazing. I've-"
For a moment she froze staring at the flowers. She had never seen this species before and yet, they felt so familiar, so comforting. Dick took the opportunity to look more closely at her hair. He could just barely make out the faint scar running along the side of her head. Fortunately, her hair had covered it up, but deep down he knew exactly where the scar should be.
"Uhhh everything ok?" he asked.
"Y-yea. Of course. These are beautiful, but I feel strange. I've never seen these flowers before, but somehow, I just know they're my favorite. Lilacs. They smell like….like a sweet past."
The pair awkwardly stood in silence. She kept fiddling with the flowers while he couldn't take his eyes off her.
"I loved your show," Dick broke the ice, "You were so radiant. Spectacular even. Although things got a little dicey when you turned that cat into a tiger."
"Oh hehe yea. That one still needs some fine tuning. Mainly cuz Lena doesn't take orders very well," she chuckled turning to face him.
"Lena?"
"My cat. She's kinda feisty but if you give her enough tuna…..she'll just lounge around and do nothing," she joked rolling her eyes.
Dick let out an airy laugh and cracked a smile. Zatanna tilted her head examining the man before her. The way his smile brightened the room for her. His hair was so neat and shiny she just wanted to run her fingers through the tresses. His laugh was so infectious. She couldn't help but smile. His eyes. So blue. They looked like pools of the ocean inviting her into the warm waters. Zatanna was absolutely sure she had never met this stranger before, but the thumping of her heart told her otherwise.
"I'm so sorry, I never got your name," she meekly asked.
"Uhh Grayson. Richard Grayson. But my friends call me-"
"Dick."
"Heh yup. That's my name."
"Sorry I just-somehow I just knew that," she looked away from him confusion, "Why do I know that?"
"Uhhh it's probably a common nickname for guys named Richard haha," he tried to reassure her, "Y'know like James to Jimmy. That sorta thing."
"Well, why not go by Rich? Or Rick? Or something?"
Dick didn't really answer. He just smiled and shrugged.
"Because that's what your mother called you…" she said aloud.
"Um yea actually. That's true."
Startled, she backed away held her head in her hands for a moment.
"Heh," she awkwardly smiled, "I'm sorry. It's just we've never met but it feels like I've known you my whole life. Y'know. It just-I don't really know how to describe it. It's almost like, I feel this emptiness being filled with a puzzle piece that fits just right, and I don't know why."
"Maybe I just have one of those face," he shrugged, "Devilishly handsome with a jawline that can cut diamonds."
Dick brought his hand up to his chin and jokingly rubbed it giving off a mock smolder. At this, Zatanna let out a huge laugh doubling over and clutching her belly. She laughed so hard she even snorted. Quickly she covered her mouth and blushed a deep red.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry. You just looked so dorky and I just couldn't help myself," she mumbled behind her hand.
"Haha no it's fine. Honestly, I didn't think talking to you would be so effortless and easy. Your bodyguard was right, you are a really nice person."
"O-oh. T-thank you," she blushed further.
"Honestly, even though I bought the pass, I had to work up the nerve to knock on your door. I was nervous and I wanted to play it cool. I guess I was just trying to be nonchalant…"
"Why? Be as chalant as you like," she blurted out before covering her mouth again.
For just a second, Dick saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes. It was a fleeting moment, but he caught a glimpse of the Zatanna he fell in love with.
"W-why did I say that? God that's so dumb. Nonchalant, chalant. Pft I can just use non-words like that. So stup-"
Dick interrupted her by taking her hands and squeezing them gently.
"You're not stupid. You're fine. You're perfectly fine. You're asterous," he whispered.
"Aster-what? I'm sorry?"
Smiling, he slowly released her hands letting his fingertips trace her smooth skin. Backing away he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and nodded.
"Nothing. Inside joke. Well um I don't want to keep you from your other uh arrangements today. Honestly, I'm just happy we got to meet. I've…always been a big fan. I'm glad to see that you're doing well," he blinked a few times holding back a few tears.
"Oh! T-thank you for your support. You're a really nice person, too. Glad to have met you, Dick."
"Likewise."
They shook hands and parted ways once again. Dick left the dressing room while Zatanna settled back onto the chair in front of the vanity. On her phone she turned on a radio app and began wiping her make-up off.
"And we're back here on FM 102.9 NOW here with the all the latest worldwide hits. This next piece is a few years old, but it never fails to thaw even the coldest of hearts. It's a beautiful love ballad that just tugs at your heartstrings. I'm SaxophoneAly and this is Hatsukoi by Hikaru Utada!"
Her ears immediately perked up at the song title. Why would this song get a reaction out of her? She had never heard it before. Gently, like a gentle breeze, Utada's voice quickly filled the room as the first verse began.
"うるさいほどに高鳴る胸が,
柄にもなく竦む足が今,
静かに頬を伝う涙が,
私に知らせる...これが初恋と,"
(My chest loudly throbbing,
And my feet uncharacteristically paralyzed,
And the tears quietly going down my cheeks,
They tell me now that this is my first love,)
All of a sudden, tears welled up in her eyes. Her heart was pounding in her chest as if it was trying to break free. She could barely breathe as memories began flooding her mind. There was a young boy, who pushed a redhead out of the way. He had messy hair. He was short, but he smiled the brightest. He wore sunglasses everywhere because he thought he was cool.
"Look I'm tryna be all nonchalant here…"
"Why? Be as chalant as you like…"
She leaned onto the table practically burying her face in her hands. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks and soaking her palms as the violins picked up in the song.
"もしもあなたに出会わずにいたら
誰かにいつかこんな気持ちに
させられたとは思えない"
(If I had never met you,
I don't think anyone else would have led me
To one day have these feelings…)
The boy in her memories started to grow. He was now taller than her. He had cut his hair. But his eyes, his beautiful deep blue eyes were shining. She remembered waking up and turning in a bed to see his peaceful face sleeping away. He lightly snored and kinda drooled from the corner of his mouth, but she didn't care. She kissed him on the nose and woke him up.
"Good kidnapping?"
"Best ever."
"The first of many, I hope."
Unfortunately, there were bad memories too. Ones that felt so repressed deep down. She openly sobbed as they bubbled up again.
"Dick! Come back inside. C'mon he didn't mean it!"
"He's an asshole, Zatanna. Honestly all of these friends of yours are the worst!"
"C'mon Dick, be reasonable!"
"How? They think I'm some rich kid living off of daddy Bruce's money! I left Bruce's shadow years ago! I'm a policeman now! I'm out here working my ass off as a cop. I walk daily beats to protect people and put food on our table. What do they think of me? Some lowly pig acting as a cog of some big oppressive society."
"Dick they're good people. John's just had a bit to drink and-"
*SCREECH*
She remembered nothing but black darkness from that point. A sharp pain in her side and her head flared up. Her fingers traced alongside the scar hidden beneath her hair. This was their song. They had listened to this record in her bedroom years ago when he snuck in through the window. He held her in his arms as she buried her face into his chest while the song played through their headphones. He almost got caught by her father because the song put him to sleep on her bed.
She looked at the calendar. December 1st. For the first time in years, she knew what day it was and why it was so important to her. Without a moment to lose, she sprinted out of the dressing room as the song still played through the phone.
"I need you, I need you
Can I hold you like,
Like you are mine,
I need you, I need you…"
Scrambling down the hall, passed the main lobby of the theater and out into the snowy street, Zatanna stomped into the snow. Confused and in a hurry, she looked around unsure of which way to go. A whistling call grabbed her attention. She turned to see Tommy holding a large coffee cup. He winked and pointed down the street. Nodding to thank him, she dashed down in that direction. She ran and ran for what felt like an eternity. The snow had piled on heavily and everything looked white. In the distance, she spotted a tall figure just walking past a lamppost. Knowing she wouldn't be able to catch up in all this snow, she screamed at the top of her lungs because her life depended on it.
"DICK! DICK! WAIT. PLEASE WAIT FOR ME!"
Dick stopped and turned around to see Zatanna shivering in the distance. Shocked and worried she might freeze, Dick ran towards her without hesitation.
"Zee? Zee, what are you doing? You're gonna freeze out here!" Dick scolded her as he wrapped her in his warm coat.
"D-Dick," she shivered but gratefully embraced the warmth of his coat, "I-I remember. I remember now."
He stood there stunned. He was speechless and unable to process what she just said.
"I remember you shoving Megan out of the way to say hi. I remember our first date to the carnival where you won me a plushie, but you gave it to a little girl because it was the last one at the stand. I remember kissing you on New Year's. We were each other's first kisses. I remember you sneaking into my room with snacks while my dad was asleep. You almost broke your wrist because I shoved you out the window just before my dad barged in. I remember showing you my first ever magic trick. I pulled a rabbit out of my hat, and you gave me a standing ovation cheering at the top of your lungs. You were the only one in that empty theater, but you sounded like a packed house."
She wept openly in front of him recalling some of the most important moments of their forgotten lives. Seeing that he stood unmoving, she pressed on.
"I remember you carrying me over the threshold in our first apartment. I remember waking up to your beautiful face as you peppered me with kisses. You burned the first breakfast you ever tried to make me because you couldn't stop staring at my eyes. God, Dick say something please! I remember everything now. You were…..You are my first love."
Tears were streaming down Dick's face too. His mouth slowly craned into a smile. Gently, he hugged her close and nuzzled his cheek into her hair.
"I wasn't staring at your eyes. Your tank top was really low-cut," he joked into her ear.
Through her tears she let out a soft chuckle.
"I felt so empty without you," she mumbled into his neck, "In a world without you, it felt like no wish would come true. I always felt like something was missing."
"I've missed you so much, Zee. My world is so much better with you. I don't need anything other than you."
They pulled apart to let blue eyes meet blue eyes. He held her waist tightly as she brought her hands to his face.
"I regret being so harsh to you all those years ago. I regret staying away after the accident hoping you'd live a better life without me. But never, never in my life, Zatanna, have I ever regretted loving you."
"I don't want to be apart anymore, Dick. I don't normally wish for much, but please stay with me. Please give a tomorrow where you're in my life again. Please Dick. I love you."
As the snow began falling and dusting white specks into their black hairs, they leaned forward pressing their lips together for the first time in ages. It felt so natural and right. Their lips moved in sync relishing the familiar touch. They kissed as if they had never even been apart. Finally breaking for air, Dick and Zatanna pressed their foreheads together looking into each other's eyes hopeful for a new future.
"Dick," she whispered.
"Yes?"
"….Happy Birthday."
Anata-Hikaru Utada
AN: Ok sooo, normally I don't do follow-ups because last time I did, I ended up with HTBC which now has 59 chapters and counting. HOWEVER, those in the Chalant discord requested a follow-up to the previous chapter "First Love." And then there was a reminder that December 1st was Dick's birthday in YJ. And so here we are. I decided to use yet another Utada song "Anata" (which is affection version of the pronoun 'You'). So yea. I hope yall enjoyed the read.