Elizabeth and Jane had shared the same bedroom for over a decade, a space filled with confidences and dreams. It was customary for them to engage in heartfelt conversations before retiring for the night, and this evening proved to be no exception. Elizabeth listened attentively as her sister extolled the virtues of Mr. Bingley—many of which seemed somewhat embellished —and spoke of how greatly he had assisted and supported her during the most challenging days of her life. As midnight approached, Jane drifted off to sleep, her face illuminated by a serene smile.

Unfortunately, Elizabeth could not find sleep until the early hours of dawn. She was enveloped by sadness and embarrassment after her mother congratulated her on her engagement. She recalled fragments of what had transpired in the weeks leading up to the accident, and despite her efforts to redirect her thoughts toward Colonel Weston, her mind remained inexorably focused on Mr. Darcy.

To her growing frustration, since her departure from Pemberley, she had dreamt of Mr. Darcy on three occasions. Each dream bore a striking similarity: they strolled together along a beautiful path adorned with flourishing trees and vibrant flowers, their arms linked as they engaged in lively conversation and laughter. She would awaken from these reveries with a smile upon her lips, yet the weight of her circumstances - her father's passing and her engagement to another man – brought forth a wave of deep sorrow and guilt.

She felt utterly lost, unable to confide in anyone regarding her tumultuous thoughts and emotions. Several questions plagued her mind, tormenting her with their relentless presence: Should she proceed with her impending marriage to Colonel Weston while her thoughts were consumed by Mr. Darcy? If she honored her commitment, could she eventually forget Mr. Darcy as time progressed? Conversely, if she were to terminate her engagement with Colonel Weston, what repercussions might that have on her relationship with the Gardiners? She feared that Aunt Gardiner would harbor resentment toward her, possessing ample justification to accuse her of being fickle.

Could she truly find happiness with Mr. Darcy, knowing that her decision would cause Colonel Weston profound heartache? The lack of clear answers weighed heavily upon her, and she knew it was all her fault.

PPP

About ten days after she arrived at Longbourn, Elizabeth received two letters: one from Miss Darcy and the other from Colonel Weston. The first letter she opened was Georgiana's. It was a long and affectionate correspondence, filled with warmth and sincerity. As she read one passage, her heart began to race.

"... during the first week of December, my brother and I will travel to London to spend the season. If it would be agreeable to you, we would be delighted to pay you a visit for a few days in Hertfordshire. My brother extends his regards to you and your family..."

She was excited at the prospect of seeing Georgiana again, but above all, she yearned to see Mr. Darcy. Yet, she was aware that should she extend an invitation for them to visit, there was a significant chance Mr. Darcy might interpret her gesture as a sign of mutual affection.

After taking a contemplative stroll through the garden, holding both letters tightly, she settled onto a bench and opened Colonel Weston's letter.

My dearest Elizabeth,

These past few weeks have been quite challenging, but I am relieved to inform you that we have managed to regain control over the recent wave of violence in the north of the country. Just yesterday, I received orders from my superiors informing me that I must remain here with my regiment for at least the next three months.

Then I hope to visit Longbourn and seek your father's permission and blessing for our union.

With warmest affection,

Patrick Weston

As she read the letter, Elizabeth realized it had been over a month since she had heard from Colonel Weston. He did not know what had happened to Lydia, he did not know about her serious accident, and he also did not know that her father had died.

She closed her eyes, trying in vain to think of Colonel Weston. She attempted to recall the days they spent together in the Lake Region and Lambton and his proposal. But unfortunately, everything remained blurry, and images of Mr. Darcy filled her mind.

She had to make a decision soon. The situation was unfair to both gentlemen. Fortunately, her mother had not had the chance to tell the neighbors she was engaged... but it was only a matter of time.

PPP

After another sleepless night, tormented by her thoughts, Elizabeth ventured out at dawn to walk around the grounds of Longbourn. Unbeknownst to her, her footsteps led her to the small cemetery where her ancestors were laid to rest. She sat on a modest bench, gazing at her father's gravestone, and began to weep inconsolably.

Several memories of her father flooded her mind; most were cherished recollections that she would hold dear for the rest of her life. In particular, she recalled the day Mr. Collins proposed to her, the ensuing argument with her mother, and her father's reaction when she revealed that she had rejected Mr. Collins.

With a sense of shame, she pondered what her father would think of her now. She was certain he would be greatly disappointed in her behavior. Despite his flaws, her father had always been an honest and honorable man. She remained seated, reflecting on the past and contemplating her current situation until the rain began to fall heavily. Slowly, she rose from the bench and returned to Longbourn.

As it was still nearly an hour until breakfast, her mother was in her bedchamber, and Elizabeth decided it was time to have a candid conversation with her. She needed time—time to think—before making a decision that would irrevocably alter her future and her sisters'.

Although Mrs. Bennet did not share a close relationship with Elizabeth, nor did she understand her, she loved her almost as much as her other daughters. Additionally, she was deeply concerned for her after learning of the accident. Upon seeing Elizabeth in her room, pale with red eyes from crying, she asked with concern, "Lizzy, are you feeling unwell?"

"I do not feel very well, Mama."

Before Elizabeth could continue, Mrs. Bennet, visibly anxious, interrupted her, "I shall call Hill immediately and request she call Mr. Jones" She reached for the bell on her nightstand, but Elizabeth implored her, "No, Mama. Please do not call Mrs. Hill. I just need to discuss something of great importance with you."

Mrs. Bennet regarded her curiously, "What is the matter, Lizzy? What do you wish to discuss with me?"

"It is quite difficult for me to express…" Elizabeth took a deep breath, "but I have many reservations about whether I should proceed with my engagement to Colonel Weston."

Mrs. Bennet's eyes widened in astonishment, and she stared at her in disbelief. Elizabeth added, "Our engagement was never official, and our neighbors are unaware of it. I implore you, Mama, do not mention anything to Aunt Phillips."

"Lizzy, you are speaking nonsense. Colonel Weston is quite handsome and has a commendable income. I am certain you are merely feeling nervous and sorrowful due to your father's passing. I am confident in a few days, you will feel better." Mrs. Bennet continued to extol Colonel Weston's genuine and imagined virtues until she finally inquired, "When is he expected to visit you at Longbourn?"

"Colonel Weston is currently stationed in the north of the country, and cannot leave his regiment for several months."

After an extensive discussion, Elizabeth effectively persuaded her mother not to divulge any information concerning the engagement. It was significantly fortuitous that Colonel Weston could not visit Longbourn for an extended period. Elizabeth cautioned her that should Colonel Weston, unfortunately, pass away, the neighbors would regard her with pity, if he were to change his mind regarding their engagement, she would be deemed jilted, facing the scrutiny and judgment of the neighbors.

That very afternoon, Elizabeth secluded herself in her bedroom to compose a response to Colonel Weston's letter. After more than an hour of deliberation and several drafts, she felt relatively satisfied with the result.

Dear Colonel Weston,

I have received your letter. Regrettably, several unfortunate events have transpired in recent weeks, including the death of my father.

The primary purpose of my correspondence is to formally release you from any commitment you have with me.

I wish you all the best, and I hope that, in time, you may find in your heart to forgive me.

With sincerest apologies,

E.B.