"Welcome back, esteemed witches and wizards, to this year's Merlin Awards Ceremony!" the announcer paused to let the applause die down, and he looked at his cheat note.
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"Now this year's winner of the Merlin Award of Peace is someone everyone knows! He's the man who showed that no matter what your past is, everyone can be redeemed! Tree times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, and the most illustrious Minister of all time, give it up for... VOLDEMORT!"
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Voldemort strode onto the scene with a grand grin, his hand waving as the public applauded madly. A charming wink here, a two-handed kiss there, and finally he was at the podium.
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Reaching his hands out he graciously accepted the golden award and held it gently in his well-manicured hands.
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"Why, thank you, I..." Tom felt a sharp sting, and his eyes teared up.
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He wiped away the single tear that might escape and let his voice crack with emotion.
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"I can't tell you how much it means to me, to have all of you coming together for this," he send the audience his Most Charming Smile #9 and his expression was one of heartfelt gratitude. "I am humbled by this great honor, and I hope to live up to it in the future, as my company lifts the British wizarding community to new heights!"
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"But I couldn't have done it without the help of my long term friend and chief advisor, Harry Scorpio Potter!" he reached his hand out towards the boy, whom by now had a flattering blush to his cheeks. "Harry. Come join me up here!"
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"Harry Potter, truly the greatest hero of the wizarding world, and self-proclaimed advisor for struggling business men! He just came of age this summer, and his NEWT results were nothing short of outstanding! Let's all give the hero of the wizarding world a hand everybody!" the announcer said.
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The way Harry pressed his hand to his blushing cheek was really quite charming. He could never get the hang of that technique himself. Voldemort supposed he just wasn't cut out for blushing. Or cuteness. Not like Harry was.
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Harry's adoptive father gave him two thumbs up and cheered as young Harry as he took to the stage, and Voldemort supressed a snicker. Hank Scorpio was every bit as hyperactive and optimistic as his son -it was easy to see where Harry got it from.
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He reached his hand out to Harry, his face an expression of infatuated joy. Kissing it he looked up at the man who'd changed his destiny, and helped him achieve his dearest ambition.
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But for all of that, one thing was still missing...
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The audience went into a silent hush as he pulled a ring from one of his many pockets.
Harry's eyes widened and his face morphed into an expression of surprise as he sank to his knees, gently clasping Harry's hand in his own.
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"Harry... Before I met you I was a shadow of myself. I did not know how to love, because no one had ever loved me," he paused with a pained expression. The audience hung on to his every word.
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"When I met you, it was like a radiant sun came into my life, chasing away all the cold and lonely days," he grabbed Harry's hands in his and stared up into his eyes.
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"I love you more than anything in the world. You're my best friend, and I can't imagine my life without you. Seeing you every day is the best part of waking up in the morning. hearing your laugh is music to my ears I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
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"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?"
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Harry's eyes widened, his whole face shone with surprise, and the audience held their breath...
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OUTTAKES FROM THE STORY
"It started, as these things often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places..."
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Tuesday 6pm, Private Drive, Surrey
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"I don't know Vernon... Move that far? Even if it is for a better job? And where is this Globex Corperation located anyway?"
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"Cypress Creek," Vernon read, "Somewhere on the East Coast of america."
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"I don't know... All our friends are here, and Dudley's friends..." she looked over at her 4 year old son and had to admit to herself that at that age, he probably wouldn't care too much. He hadn't even started school yet. Still...
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"Why don't we watch the short film they sent us about the place first? We can decide after we know what it looks like," Vernon said. "They did mention it was a community build especially for the employees of the Globex Corperation. They certainly have enough money if they can afford that! And the chance for me to rise even higher in position later!" he preened.
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Sure, being the boss of his own company was great and all, but he didn't make nearly as much as this place offered! Not to mention how exhausting it was to work day in and day out to manage the place, and that was just to keep it floating.
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He wasn't sure exactly what Globex Corperation wanted a 'Drill Specialist' for -they didn't appear to be doing any mining- but he'd checked with the company itself, and the offer was legit. And Vernon Dursley was not one to look a gift-horse in the mouth.
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"Cypress Creek - a Tale of One City~"
(To see the short commercial, look it up on YouTube. Fanfiction net won't let me link anything.)
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"You're a DEATHEATER?!" Molly screeched at her youngest son.
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"Jeez, mom. Indoor-voice!" Ron said, poking his finger in his ear. "And you were the one telling me to get a safe and stable job."
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"HOW is working for you-know-who a SAFE job?!"
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"Hey! I resent that! It comes with a free dental plan, and a stock plan or something that helps me invest. AND they helped me pay off my gambling debt!"
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"..."
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"Oh! And on fridays the lunch room serves something they call hotdogs and burgers, and butterbear! It's awesome!"
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"So what do you enjoy doing?"
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"Uh... Torturing muggles?"
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"Good, good. Now, mr. Goyle, how would you feel about torturing muggle terrorists for information?"
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"Gee, Boss, that'd be great!"
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"No, no, non of that Boss stuff. Call me Harry!"
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Inspired by Hank Scorpio from the Simpson.
The song below can be found on YouTube, for those who want to watch it.
"Scorpio~!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpion~!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
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He'll welcome you into his lair
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
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But beware of his generous pensions
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year
And on Fridays, the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
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He loves German beer!"