Lan goes through his training but can't stop his thoughts. Moiraine is continuously on his mind, distracting him from his training.

Quote: "Don't look at me. She doesn't tell me any more than she tells you." (Lan)

Lan took a deep breath, opening himself to Ko'di. He stood outside of Verin and Adeleas' house like every morning since he and Moiraine arrived in Tifan's Well. With every passing day, his bondholder became more distant and quieter. They both had never been much talkers, but they had the bond back then. Now, the silence weighed heavily on him, in addition to the emptiness he felt inside his head and his heart – the place where Moiraine once had been.

The uncrowned king of Malkier felt Ko'di slipping him and calmed his thoughts. He shouldn't think about Moiraine. It only broke his concentration. Once he had regained his composure, Lan started with 'Lion on the Hill' by placing his sword and sheath against his shoulder. He was ready to begin.

When the Malkieri unsheathed the sword, he swung the blade a few times before he moved into 'Ribbon in the Air'. He brought his arms behind his head, then brought the sword down on his invisible fighting partner.

Lan noticed a small lizard, sitting on a big rock and watching the Warder's movements. Then – like it knew it had been caught – the little creature quickly disappeared behind the rock. The Warder smiled. The lizard reminded him on how he had followed Moiraine earlier.

Every morning, his stubborn Aes Sedai went to the well a few miles down the hill. At first, Lan had tried to reason with her – he had begged her to let him carry the water – but Moiraine wouldn't be Moiraine if it was that easy to convince her.

Countless times, she walked up and down the hill to fill the bathtub with water. Lan had watched her struggle, but the woman was too headstrong to give up. Over and over again, she went down, stumbling and hurting her delicate fingers by pulling up the bucket.

She had snapped at her Warder to stop following her, and when he refused, she got up even earlier than him, stumbling through the dark. It had taken Lan hours until he found her because she had sprained her ankle, stumbling over some stupid rocks, and could barely move forward.

Anger rolled through Lan at the memory of Moiraine's stubbornness, and he used 'Kissing the Adder' to blow off some steam. The series of quick thrusts needed energy, and his anger was a great possibility to deliver with precision.

His thoughts continued, and he remembered how they had yelled at each other when he found her. Moiraine had been pissed at herself but blamed Lan for her injury while the Warder had been angry with her because of her stubbornness. In the end, the Malkieri had left the Cairhien woman sitting there, though he couldn't leave her behind entirely. After ten minutes, he sat down on a rock, waiting for her to appear or to call for him.

Of course, she didn't call for him. Instead, she continued her path up to Verin and Adeleas' house, but when she appeared from behind a big rock, the uncrowned king of Malkier needed one look to see she was at the end of her tether. She had been as pale as a ghost, was panting heavily, and leaned heavily on a rock. It was obvious that she was close to collapsing.

At that moment, all of Lan's anger had been blown away. His body had reacted instinctually, being by her side within a heartbeat and pulling her in his arms. He had brushed away Moiraine's protests and carried her fragile form back to the house so Verin could heal her.

Ko'di slipped his mind, and his emotions broke through. Lan felt his eyes burning when he thought about how small Moiraine had looked and how light she had been in his arms. She had never been heavy, but Lan had always ensured she would eat properly.

Blood and ashes! I can't train like this!

Lan took a few breaths to clear his mind. He needed to ban his bondholder from his mind. The cold situation between them was frustrating, and Lan hated every second of it. He wanted his old Moiraine back!

After a few more calming breaths, the Malkieri was able to reach Ko'di again, then continued with his training. It didn't take long, and the next memory blocked his mind.

Surprisingly, Moiraine had seen reason after her injury – well, kind of. She had admitted that it was stupid to take that uneven path in the dark. Yet, she refused to let Lan do it and also didn't want him to follow her.

The uncrowned king of Malkier hadn't been pleased when she told him to give her some room. He wanted to be close to her – not further away. But if he wasn't careful, Moiraine would do something stupid again. So, Lan decided to focus on his training, which would calm Moiraine and give her the room she wanted.

But the Cairhien woman didn't know that the Malkieri sent Tomas – Verin's Warder – after her when Lan focused on his training. The two Warders took turns each day to watch over the stubborn Aes Sedai – of course, staying out of sight – while she went to the well for water each morning. Lan couldn't get it over himself not to watch her, and he trusted Tomas to watch over her as carefully as he did himself.

And it was getting harder with every passing day. Moiraine was a complicated woman, and it was nearly impossible for him to know what she wanted without the bond – especially, since she refused to talk to him. All she told him was to give her room or to return to Tar Valon to be with Nynaeve.

Lan gritted his teeth. It was always a stab to the heart when she told him to leave her. He knew she was hurt since the Dark One took Saidar from her, and it scared him to watch her lose herself. Oh, she was very good at pretending – keeping her head up and acting around others like nothing had happened – but Lan saw the little changes in his Aes Sedai. He knew that woman for twenty years now and had learned to look for the little gestures.

There was a slight tremor in her hands when she picked up a cup or a book. Her skin had an unhealthy pale tone. Lan hadn't seen Moiraine's naked body in a while, but he was certain her ribs were clearly visible underneath her clothes.

But the worst were her eyes. Most of the time, Moiraine tried to avoid looking at him, yet Lan could see her hollow eyes. The uncrowned king of Malkier had watched her countless times as she stared at the wall motionless without seeing anything. Or when she read one of those books Verin and Adeleas had collected over the years. At first, it looked like Moiraine was reading concentrated, but the longer Lan watched her, the more he saw she didn't turn the page, and her eyes didn't move.

And it happened more often in the last few days. Moiraine got caught in her thoughts, and it frustrated Lan that he had no insight into what was going on with her.

The uncrowned king of Malkier slaughtered the next invisible opponent, then moved into 'The Boar rushes Downhill'. His blade came from behind his right shoulder, then he drew it in a diagonal cut to end the next opponent.

Insight in Moiraine's thoughts and feelings. For months, Lan felt hollow himself. When he had noticed his bondholder's masking of their bond in Fal Dara, he had been pissed with her. The Aes Sedai knew very well how much he hated it when she shut him out.

But with the loss of Saidar, she wasn't able to unmask their bond anymore. For months, they tried to cope with the change, but it was useless. The Cairhien woman's absence was hard for the Malkieri, and her constant attempts to push him away didn't help either. Light, he missed his Aes Sedai!

Again, Ko'di slipped from Lan, and this time, he couldn't hide the emotional pain. He wished Moiraine would stop pushing him away. He longed for her presence, warmth, and scent. If only she would allow him to hold her!

Lan closed his eyes, imagining his hands moving over his bondholder's body. Her body was as familiar as his own – every curve carved into his soul. He knew every scar she had received over the years, though luckily, there weren't many. They had found their rhythm after a difficult start in their first years as Aes Sedai and Warder.

Moiraine's brown locks appeared before Lan's closed eyes, and he remembered how he had buried his nose in them whenever they had lain together to warm themselves against the cold. Her unique scent had always calmed the uncrowned king of Malkier, reminding him that he was home – home with her. And now, she didn't even let him touch her! Worse even, she avoided him as best as possible and pushed him away!

Angrily, Lan didn't bother anymore to embrace Ko'di. He used his rage to swing his blade like he was fighting multiple opponents at once. His forms were sloppy, but for once, the uncrowned king of Malkier didn't care. He needed to get rid of his anger before he returned to the others.

Panting, Lan sheathed his sword. He was drenched in sweat and exhausted, but at least he felt calmer now. He still longed for Moiraine but had his emotions under control again. Maybe she only needed time to deal with her own feelings? Maybe she would let him back in once she was ready to talk? Maybe she would even seek for his touch herself?

The uncrowned king of Malkier leaned on his legs to catch his breath when he heard the sound of hooves approaching.

A rider appeared between the trees, aiming for Verin and Adeleas' house. Another one of Moiraine's mysterious visitors. What were they talking about with his Aes Sedai?

Quickly, Lan turned around and ran back to the house. It was his duty as Moiraine's Warder to lead the visitors to the study room, but he had to get dressed before that.

Lan walked through the gate and rushed to his tunic. He had left his stuff and a towel behind the door since he didn't want to carry all that with him – especially not with the hot sun burning down on them from above.

The uncrowned king of Malkier placed his sword on the little bench, then grabbed the towel to dry his body from the sweat.

"Laaaan."

Sighing, the Warder turned his head toward the female voice, which sounded like she sang his name whenever she called him. From the first second he and Moiraine had arrived in Tifan's Well, Adeleas Sedai hadn't hidden her interest in him. Her eyes always roamed over his body, and her hands loved touching him.

Lan did his best to stay away from the horny Green Sister or ensure he wasn't alone with her. She behaved somewhat when Verin or Moiraine were present.

The Warder had hoped his Aes Sedai would tell her sister to leave him alone, but he wasn't sure if she had even noticed Adeleas' intentions. Most of the time, her nose was stuck inside a book.

"You know it is so warm today. It must be unbearable swinging your sword wearing such heavy woolen trousers."

Smiling, Lan put on his tunic, then walked to the two sisters who watched him from afar. So much for behaving around Verin or Moiraine. Was it just him or was that woman getting bolder the longer he stayed? How much longer could he avoid her before she would drag him into her bed?

"A rider is coming."

For the first time, he was thankful for Moiraine's mysterious visitors. At least it gave him an opportunity to run from Adeleas.

The Green Sister turned to Tomas who prepared some herbs for dinner. Lan was too far away to hear what the two said, but he knew that as much as Adeleas loved him, as annoyed she was with his Aes Sedai and her strange behavior. So, her words had probably not been very nice.

Verin met him halfway. This way, he had an excuse for not getting too close to her sister. "That's twenty." Unlike her sister, Verin seemed worried about Moiraine and didn't stop offering her help. "Still no word from Moiraine about who they are? – What news they bring?"

Lan released a sarcastic snort. Moiraine, explaining what she was doing? – That was highly unlikely. Light, the woman didn't even inform him, and he was her Warder!

The woman of the Blue Ajah had invited twenty strangers to Verin and Adeleas' house since she and Lan had arrived. The Malkieri had not known a single one of them. The worst part was that Moiraine didn't let him stay with her while she talked to those strangers.

Every time, Lan hoped she would finally see reason why it was necessary for him to stay – that she would finally allow him to fulfill his duty as her Warder so he could protect her from those strangers. But Moiraine sent him out of the room every time, making Lan's blood boil.

Had he failed her and couldn't remember it? Why was she shutting him out? Why did she risk her life to keep her secrets hidden?

"Don't look at me. She doesn't tell me any more than she tells you," the Malkieri explained to the Brown Sister.

Verin threw a pitiful look at him. She knew about his problems with Moiraine and understood how much the Blue Sister was hurting him with her behavior. The advantages of a woman who was bonded to a Warder herself.

Lan gave her a slight nod, then went to the entrance to greet Moiraine's visitor.

The uncrowned king of Malkier watched the stranger while the man dismounted his horse and tied the reins around a log. He needed one look to see that man rarely sat on a horse. Lan heard him cursing quietly and smiled when the man shook his legs from the long ride. No, that man wasn't used to riding.

Lan heard the horse snorting and saw how it stepped away from the heavy man like it was glad to get rid of him. You will have to carry him again, my friend.

The clothes told the Malkieri that he was dealing with a salesman. What wanted Moiraine from a salesman? The man carried only a small bag, so Lan wondered what that man could offer. New books? But the study room was filled with books, letters, maps, and countless other versions of paper. It was impossible that his bondholder had read every single piece by now. It would take years to read everything.

"Bloody horse!" The man cursed, then turned to Lan.

"I'm looking for a Moiraine Sedai." A letter with Moiraine's broken seal appeared from the man's bag. "I was told to come here."

How many of those letters had the woman of the Blue Ajah sent into the world? How many more visitors did she want to talk to? Not once did Moiraine's mood change. None of her visitors had seemed to bring her the piece of information she had been looking for.

"Lan Mandragoran." The Malkieri tilted his head politely. "I'm her Warder. I will bring you to her."

He didn't bother to ask that man what he wanted from his Aes Sedai. After his third failed attempt at getting something out of those visitors, Lan had given up. Apparently, Moiraine had told those people to talk to no one about the purpose of their travel. And when an Aes Sedai told you to shut up… well, Lan knew how convincing his bondholder could be.

"I hope this will no take long. I do no have time to get caught up in Aes Sedai business."

This man is from Illian, Lan realized. The citizens of Illian always said 'no' instead of 'not'.

But what worried him the most was that Illian lay beside Tear, and the latter wasn't known for taking a liking to women who channeled. What are you up to, Moiraine? Why do you invite someone like him? What are you looking for?

Lan sighed. He wouldn't get an answer to his questions from this man – or his Aes Sedai. No, he had to wait until Moiraine decided he was worthy of keeping her secrets again.

The next story will be uploaded on Sunday.

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