Chapter 102: Stonefur's Healing
Firestar managed to comfort Sandstorm over a couple days. Tawnypaw didn't return, but I hoped no news was good news. When Sandstorm calmed, well, she decided to deal with the origin of her problems. Namely, she went on a rampage, chastising every cat she could for their mistreatment of Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw. Thankfully, I was not one of her victims. She at least knew I never thought less of her former apprentice. I managed to watch this rampage with Stonefur from the medicine den entrance.
Stonefur had recovered significantly since his imprisonment. He was finally able to eat solid food and drink without the threat of hurting himself. Though his body healed, his mind had not fully recovered. He flinched away from most cats, myself and the other former Riverclan cats excluded. As we watched Sandstorm tear into Oneeye for spreading rumors about Tawnypaw, a growing sense of ease seemed to have entered the tom. I decided to question him on this.
"You look better than you were. Are you starting to get used to Thunderclan?" I queried.
"Maybe. It's so strange being here. I never would have dreamed of changing clans. Despite that, I still see some of what made me like and hate Riverclan here. There are still the bigots and the moody who sour the experience, and yet, here I see something that Riverclan seemed too afraid to do. At least one cat here is willing to berate their clanmates for an injustice. You all feel safe critiquing each other. It's so foreign, but it's also incredible. Riverclan just doesn't do that. We always counted on our superiors being right. You don't do that. Even Firestar himself is not immune to being told off. In an odd way, it makes me feel safe." Stonefur mewed.
I nodded along to his statements before adding some comments of my own. "It is because none of us are infallible that we do this. No cat should be above reproach, even Starclan. Ever since I joined Thunderclan, there's been a disease festering in all the clans. It is one born of complacency. Cats here have bound themselves to a code without a single thought as to why they do, and the most high of all codes is that the leader's word is law. On a most fundamental level, I disagree with this code. This code alone is the reason cats like Brokenstar and Tigerstar were able to rise to power. As soon as they had the title, cats mindlessly fell in line. They break their own tenants by following their tyrannic ruler. As much as you don't want to hear it, the code is flawed. Its rules were made by the living in a different time, where structure may have been more necessary than any form of morality. We don't live in that time. We don't fully know the spirit behind the code; thus, we must act upon our own morality. As I see it, the code was never meant to be commandments but rather guidelines to help develop one's morality." I lectured, not realizing the attention my passionate speech garnered. I'd apparently been speaking rather loudly, and most of the camp seemed to have stopped to listen in.
"If not for the code, how will we know what is right and wrong?" I heard some cat ask from the crowd.
"Again, the code is a guideline. Don't kill unless necessary. Honor your leader, but don't let your faith in them become blind. You serve first your clan then the forest. Kits are precious and should be protected at all costs. Honor your boundaries and your word. Waste not and honor your ancestors. These are some of the most basic principles the code teaches us. We of the clans are rivals in nature, sharpening our claws against each other, but underneath it all, we are aligned against outside forces. That is why we do not kill our rival clans. We strengthen each other through competition. This is also the reason I abhor Tigerclan. It is a forced unity that deprives those under it of individuality. All the clans are special, the best at their own thing. To truly unify us, we'd have to permanently cripple all the clans to fit only one way of life." I stated, noting the approval the elders gave as they looked my way.
"Then, if the code is incorrect, what should we do about it?" I heard another cat mew.
"If we can ever bring the clans together in a time of peace, I believe we could revise the code. We must understand the purpose of each rule in the code and decide if the meaning and the words match. We must also decide if the rule itself serves a purpose we still agree with. For now, this is just my own conjecture. If you are willing, please think on the code and realize why you follow their tenants." I answered, waving the crowd off.
Stonefur, who hadn't mustered up the courage to leave my side, finally relaxed after the crowd had dispersed. When I looked over to him, he was looking back at me with a faint reverence. My speech must have made an impression on him.
"You speak passionately. For a moment, it felt like when Crookedstar led me. He was one of those cats that not only inspired loyalty but also brought out the best in those around him. He had high expectations of us, but we always strived to surpass them. He was a great leader… I miss him. When Leopardstar took leadership, things changed. She had the power, but she was no Crookedstar. She thought how we were was weak, so she wanted us to get stronger, more regimented. In the end, she fell to Tigerstar's vision of grandeur. Now all of Riverclan suffers." Stonefur confided before his voice took a darker turn. "They deserve it. Miserable cowards. They all watched as Tigerstar imprisoned us, starved us, and tortured me. Look at what their lack of loyalty has cost them. I was their deputy. They trusted me to guide them, save them, and they turned their backs on me the moment they heard who my mother was. No cat there chanced saving me or even offering me the tiniest bit of mercy." He spat with venom. The betrayal of his clan had clearly shoved a large wedge in his heart.
Stonefur began to stink of an odd mixture of rage and fear. He was likely having some form of panic attack. I pressed into his side and forced him to look me in the eyes. "Stonefur, you are ok. You aren't there. You don't have to go back. I'm here. Thunderclan is here. We'll protect you. You are safe." I stated in a level tone, forcing calm upon him.
Slowly, Stonefur stopped shaking. His eyes lost the mistiness that came from his attack. He was still coming down, but it looked like I'd cleared him of the worst of it.
"I'm… safe." He mewed slowly, as if tasting the words. "Safe? Safe. I'm safe. I was saved. I'm safe. You are safe. You keep me safe?" He muttered, clearly still not all there.
"Yes. I'll keep you safe. Now, I think you need a nap. Cinderpelt will take care of you when I'm not here." I answered, guiding him back to his nest.
"Cinderpelt… Safe." Was all he muttered before succumbing to his exhaustion. Cinderpelt soon joined me watching over the former Riverclan deputy.
"He had another attack didn't he?" She questioned somewhar rhetorically.
"At least he came down rather quickly this time. I didn't have to pin him. He's getting better. I hope he can someday recover, but what happened in Riverclan traumatized him. I've talked with Mistyfoot. She and Graystripe's kin plan to go back once Tigerstar is dealt with, but I'm not so sure Stonefur would or even can. I'm also worried about how attached he is to me. Can you see if you can find some other cats to sit with him and help integrate him? I don't want him to become solely dependent upon me." I asked of Cinderpelt.
"I'll see what I can do. When Yellowfang gave me this position, I never realized how much more there was to healing. Wounds are easy. Sickness is easy. It's the mind that is the most tricky. Stonefur needs time for now, but he will need a resolution later. If he decides to stay with us, I suspect he'll need a clean break from Riverclan and his association. We'll discuss it later as he becomes better." Cinderpelt mewed, moving away to work on her herb collections.