Everyone helps taking care of the injured ones, but Lan keeps worrying about Moiraine. She is still not talking. Yet, she starts to reach out toward him carefully.

Carefully, the Warder watched his Aes Sedai while patching up an injured soldier. After a quick wash and a change of clothes, he had been able to bring Moiraine to the kitchen. She hadn't eaten much, but he was glad that at least an apple and two cups of tea had found their way into her stomach.

Now, they helped with the injuries in the infirmary. Moiraine had still not spoken a word, not even when Nynaeve had given her orders what she expected of the Aes Sedai. Wordlessly, she had taken whatever the young woman from the Two Rivers had given her and went to work. Nynaeve had been speechless and threw Lan a worried look. She didn't know how to react to that new version of Moiraine. Lan wished he could tell her but was as clueless as her.

The night fell over Fal Dara, and the Malkieri saw the exhaustion in everyone's faces. Many soldiers had died because their injuries had been too heavy and not even Nynaeve's best herbs had been able to bring them back from the dead. And every new death weighed heavily on everyone's mood. They all needed sleep.

"It's too tight."

Lan flinched when Nynaeve's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He hadn't noticed how she stepped beside him. She took the bandage out of his hands, then unrolled his previous work. He hadn't paid attention to what he had been doing.

"It would be helpful if you keep your eyes on what you're doing instead of watching HER."

Nynaeve didn't need to explain who she meant. There was only one person she refused to call by her name – Moiraine.

"We should take a break. Everyone is tired and hungry." Lan knew the young woman tried to bait him but refused to went with it.

A heavy sigh escaped Nynaeve's lips before she secured the bandage and let her eyes wander over the room. There were so many injured people, and they were fighting against time. "A break sounds nice."

"We won't be of use to them if we collapse."

Finally, the Wisdom nodded. Then her eyes found the Cairhien woman. "How is she?"

Lan followed her gaze and sighed. "She does what you ask of her to do."

"Has she said anything?"

There was a moment of silence. A moment when Lan chewed on his frustration. "No," he finally said in a clipped voice.

"Give her some food and tea before she gets to bed. She needs her strength."

When Nynaeve tried to stand up, Lan grabbed her arm, holding her back gently. "You also need your strength."

For a moment, he thought she would free herself, storming off. But then Nynaeve turned her head back at him. Her eyes shone with hope. "I wouldn't mind some company tonight. The nights are… lonely."

The uncrowned king of Malkier opened his mouth to accept her offer – his heart jumped at the imagination of sharing a bed with her – but then the picture of Moiraine – curled up in a ball – appeared before his eyes, and his heart sunk. His Aes Sedai was hurt, and he thought about sharing the bed with another woman!

"I can't."

Nynaeve gave him a sad smile. "I assumed you would say that."

Again, she tried to leave, but Lan held her back – his eyes begging for understanding. "It's too dangerous to leave her side. Without the bond…." He couldn't continue. The pain about the loss of his bond with Moiraine made his throat tighten so it couldn't form words anymore.

The Wisdom must have seen his fight with his emotions because she crouched before him, cupping his cheek and smiling at him. "Go and take care of her." Then she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Good night, Lan."

The Warder kissed her knuckles before she could run from him. "Good night, Nynaeve."

Heavy-heartedly, Lan watched the young woman leave. He wished he could go with her. But not while Moiraine wasn't acting like herself. His Aes Sedai was more important than his love life.

Tired, the Warder got to his feet and found his way over to the woman of the Blue Ajah. She cleaned the face of a soldier, who was sleeping yet whimpering quietly.

Admiring, Lan watched how Moiraine took care of the man with gentle movements. She did everything with such elegance like she was dancing. The Lady Damodred would always be visible in her body language.

When Moiraine dipped the cloth back into a bowl beside her, Lan stepped behind her. Since their bond was masked, she couldn't feel his presence any longer. But she noticed that someone had approached her and turned her head.

Immediately, Lan saw the exhaustion on her face. Her eyes were as empty as they had been all day, yet he forced himself to smile. He crouched before her and cupped her cheek. "Let's call it a night."

Confused, Moiraine let her eyes wander over the room. A furrow appeared on her forehead when she saw how Nynaeve ordered her friends to get some rest.

Gently, the Warder placed two fingers under his bondholders' chin, pulling her eyes back on him. "We did our best for today. It's time to rest."

The Cairhien woman opened her mouth like she wanted to protest, then defeat rolled over her body. Her shoulders lowered, she closed her eyes and nodded, agreeing.

For a moment, Lan wished she had protested. He wanted to hear her voice. They both weren't big talkers, but saying nothing?! – All day?! That was even for him too quiet.

Moiraine also didn't protest when her Warder took the cloth out of her hands to drop it into the bowl. Quietly, she watched his movements, then allowed him to help her stand up before he guided her out of the infirmary to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Back in Moiraine's room, Lan helped her undress and wash before she changed into her nightgown. The uncrowned king of Malkier tried not to look at her directly, but something on her right calve caught his eye. "What is this?"

A bloody cut stood in contrast to the white gown. How was it possible he hadn't noticed it yesterday?! The cut was obviously a few days old and not taken care of.

Moiraine hissed when Lan's thumb moved over the cut and stepped away from him. Lan growled. "When did that happen?!"

No word. No explanation. He was met with silence so he started guessing, though he couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. "Did it happen here?! – In Fal Dara?!"

The Aes Sedai turned her head away. So, it wasn't in Fal Dara. "In the Blight?!" Moiraine stiffened for a heartbeat, then walked to the bed. Another growl escaped Lan's lips. Why couldn't she talk to him? Why hadn't she told him about the cut?

Angrily, Lan grabbed the wet cloth and followed Moiraine to the bed. The Aes Sedai sat on it – probably hoping she would get some distance between them. When her Warder crouched before her and grabbed her injured leg with his free hand, she flinched and pulled her leg out of his grasp.

The uncrowned king of Malkier gritted his teeth but didn't try to grab her leg again. Instead, he lifted his head and looked at her with pleading eyes. "Would you please let me take care of this cut? It needs to be cleaned – especially when you received it in the Blight."

Moiraine hesitated. What had he done that she didn't trust him with an injury anymore? It felt like ages until the Cairhien woman nodded and offered her leg to him.

"I'll be careful," Lan promised.

As carefully as possible, the Warder did his job and cleaned his bondholder's wound, yet she winced once or twice before he placed the cloth on her nightstand. The cut looked better, but Lan wanted Nynaeve to take a look at it in the morning. He couldn't risk an infection.

Suddenly, Moiraine pulled her leg out of his hands, crawled onto the bed, then slipped beneath the blankets. Lan couldn't help but watch how his strong and powerful Aes Sedai made herself as small as possible again. She had helped them with the injured ones but was still not feeling fine. And he couldn't help her as long as she didn't talk to him.

Sighing, he crawled onto the bed – Moiraine had made herself comfortable right in the middle of the big bed – and tugged her in before he leaned in to press a kiss on her hair. "Good night, Moiraine," Lan whispered, then retreated. He would make himself comfortable in the chair or maybe lay down beside the bed. Two sleepless nights were cruel, but three? Even the uncrowned king of Malkier had his boundaries, and he needed sleep if he wanted to keep an eye on his Aes Sedai.

When he stood up, Lan heard Moiraine rearranging herself but didn't turn around. He didn't like the silence and distance between them but would give her room if she needed it. He would do anything to keep her in his life.

A gentle pull on his tunic made him stop. Lan felt Moiraine's hand grabbing the back of his tunic, holding him in place. His heart jumped slightly, beating rapidly with hope about what her action could mean. Yet, there was that terrible fear he was simply imagining things. Maybe there was a reason why she kept him from leaving. Perhaps he had forgotten something.

Slowly, the Malkieri turned around, facing the Cairhien woman. "Have I forgotten something?"

Moiraine's lips parted like she wanted to speak, but her throat couldn't form the words. Would she ever be able to talk again? Carefully, Lan sat on the bed, so she wouldn't have to stare up at him. His fingers were itching, but he forced them to grab the fabric of his pants. Moiraine wouldn't take it well if he pushed her to speak and he didn't know how well she took his touch.

As softly as possible he asked, "Can you show me what you need? Or do you want me to get you some paper?"

The uncrowned king of Malkier smiled when he saw the woman of the Blue Ajah tilting her head slightly while thinking about his words. She always did that while thinking about a problem, and the familiar look gave Lan hope. His Moiraine was still in there – clearly hiding – yet she was still there.

It seemed like the Aes Sedai chose his first proposal. Her fingers let go of his tunic. Instead, her hand took his hand in hers. Lan couldn't help himself and had to squeeze it gently. It warmed his heart that she was reaching out to him.

Moiraine crawled backward again, pulling his arm with her. Confused, Lan watched how she tugged gently at his arm. Was she inviting him to lie down with her? "Do you want me to join you?"

She gave him a short nod, and a furrow appeared on Lan's forehead, though his heart jumped in happiness. Moiraine rarely asked him to share the same bed with her, but Lan would never ask her to invite him more often.

Something must have shocked the Cairhien woman – maybe it was his frowning or his hesitation – because she suddenly let go of his hand, backing away from him like she assumed she had overstepped a line.

"Don't!"

Quickly, Lan grabbed her hand to stop her. Light, he hadn't meant to scare her! He kissed her fingers while holding her gaze. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to give you the feeling I don't want it. I WANT this. I WANT to spend the night with you. It was just…." Cursing inwardly, the Warder thought about the right words without hurting his Aes Sedai. "We rarely shared the same bed over the last twenty years. You took me by surprise – that is all."

Understanding moved over Moiraine's face, and Lan saw her relaxing. Again, he kissed her slender fingers. Would she allow him to put his arms around her? Or would she shy away from his touch?

Carefully, the Warder placed his Aes Sedai's hand back on the blanket before he started to undress. Not once did he break eye contact with his bondholder. Luckily, he didn't need to look at how to open his clothes. He didn't even care about his belt with the daggers dropping on the floor with a bang. His sword was the only thing he put down gently.

Lan couldn't remember undressing any faster in the past than this time. His body wanted to slip under the blanket to be with the woman he longed to touch. But first, he had to do something else. "Will you give me a minute to wash?"

A slight smile appeared on her lips and she nodded. Lan grabbed the cloth from the nightstand, then rushed to the water basin. He was only wearing his underwear, which meant he could be quick in washing himself.

The sound of a quiet chuckle in Lan's back reached his ear, and he turned his head to his bondholder. Moiraine was still watching him, and he saw amusement standing in her eyes. For a moment, it felt like old times.

"Are you making fun of me?" Lan asked with a raised eyebrow while continuing to clean his body. He knew she wasn't. She was amused about him rushing to clean so he could join her quickly. Instead of giving him an answer, the Cairhien woman rearranged her position on the bed by making room for him.

Once done, Lan dropped the cloth in the basin, dried his body with a towel, and rushed back to the bed. Moiraine had made herself comfortable again, watching him move the entire time.

Lan hesitated momentarily – almost asking her if she genuinely wanted him that close – then slipped under the blanket. He placed himself right before her yet didn't dare to touch her. Did she simply want him there? – Wanted to feel his presence close to her? Or did she need his embrace? Light, he hated to ask instead of relying on the bond!

When the Cairhien woman moved, the Malkieri froze and held his breath. What would she do now? Moiraine moved closer to him until there wasn't much air between them. Then she lifted her hand and drew her slender fingers over his chest. Lan shivered since her fingers had turned cold.

Immediately, the Aes Sedai pulled back her hand, but the Warder was faster. He captured her hand and pressed it back on his chest. There was fear in Moiraine's eyes, but Lan reciprocated her gaze calmly, trying to show her he wanted her touch. His fingers rubbed soothingly over the back of her hand until she finally relaxed.

It felt like an eternity until Moiraine moved again. Her head leaned forward, her forehead resting against his chest, and Lan heard her taking deep breaths like she was inhaling his scent.

His arms reacted on instinct. Since his body was longing for hers, he couldn't stop himself and wrapped his arms around her small frame. Moiraine stiffened for a heartbeat, then snuggled closer against him. One of her arms moved around his waist and held him close.

Lan sighed in relief. Finally. Finally, his Aes Sedai let him back in. She was still not speaking but stopped shying away from his touch and searched for the contact. It gave him hope that they would find a way to cope with her stilling – that he was still her Warder and she his Aes Sedai.

The uncrowned king of Malkier didn't care if the Cairhien woman could channel or not. He had bound himself to her and her cause, not the White Tower. They could still continue their mission, and he would do anything in his power to help her.

When Moiraine started to tremble slightly, Lan's hands rubbed over her back to ground her while he buried his nose in her locks. Her smell almost brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't imagine a life without his bondholder. She was his life, and he wasn't complete when she wasn't there.

The Aes Sedai didn't cry but it took a while until her trembles subsided. The Warder continued to rub soothing circles on her back, wrapping her in a safe bubble and hoping it would help her to find her way back to him.

Mandarb's teeth pulled Lan out of his memory. The black stallion nibbled on Lan's tunic while the Warder returned blinking to the stable of Tifan's Well. Light, that moment in Fal Dara had happened over five months ago! Yet, it still pained him. A part of him wished he could return to that moment. The situation hadn't become any better. Yes, Moiraine hadn't spoken to him, but at least, she had accepted his touch. He had been able to hug her to calm them both.

Now, the Cairhien woman had found her speech again but refused close contact. Why did she try to push him away? What did he need to do to convince her he wouldn't leave her?

Sighing, Lan gently pushed Mandarb's head out of the way to stop him from nibbling on his tunic. His anger had faded. The only thing left was his shame – shame that he had lost his temper. It was unlike him to shout at someone, let alone his bondholder. Many people had tried to test his patience, and everyone failed. But Moiraine…

That stubborn woman was different. She meant the world to him, and her actions made him foolish sometimes. Usually, she didn't do it on purpose, but for the last couple of months, Lan was certain she tried to provoke him. And today, he had allowed her to succeed.

Aldieb blew hot air into Lan's face. Smiling, the Warder stroked her jaw. "I know. Moiraine doesn't need a Warder breathing up her neck. The situation weighs heavy on her, and I should support her and obey her wishes – not snapping at her."

As an answer, the mare pressed her head against his chest lovingly. "I will do better, I promise. I won't let her down."

"Laaaaan," Adeleas' singing voice entered the stables.

Cursing, the Warder jumped over the wall of Aldieb's horse box and hid behind the wood. Luckily, it seemed like the mare didn't want to sell him out to the crazy woman and turned away from the wall.

Soon, Adeleas' footsteps entered the stables. "Laaaaan. Are you in here?"

The Malkieri wished he could plug his ears so he didn't have to hear that voice anymore. Maybe he could convince Moiraine to leave Tifan's Well. There had to be other Aes Sedai with stashes of books in their homes which she could use for her research.

"Lan?" The Green Sister passed Aldieb's box, and the uncrowned king of Malkier heard how she stopped before Mandarb's box. "Have you seen your handsome rider?" When the black stallion didn't react, Adeleas sighed heavily. "I never met a man who is that hard to catch. Usually, they don't run from me when I show them I'm interested. It can't be Moiraine, can it? This man deserves someone better than her. Someone who values his company and-"

Adeleas' shriek made Lan wince. In the next second, he heard Mandarb's teeth clicking and an angry snort. Apparently, the stallion had tried to bite the Aes Sedai.

"All right, I get it. You are as protective about your owner's Aes Sedai as the man himself." Grumbling, the Green Sister left the stable.

Lan sighed, relieved once he was certain Adeleas couldn't hear him anymore. That woman was annoying! Tiredly, the Warder leaned his head against the wall. He needed a new strategy for how to act around Moiraine. Maybe something would come to his mind while he helped Tomas with dinner.

I loved it when Lan prepared a plate for Moiraine, although he had told her she could get it herself. It gave me hope that she couldn't push him away easily. So, the next story will be about Lan again, going upstairs to bring his stubborn Aes Sedai her dinner.

The next story will be uploaded on Sunday.

I would appreciate it if you could take a moment to leave a review.