Lan needs his Aes Sedai close to him, but his thoughts won't shut up.

Warning! A lot of emotional pain and past trauma. Please be careful while reading.

Carefully, the Malkieri carried her to the bed, then placed her there before he crawled over her, placing his naked body between her legs.

"Blood and ashes! Stop that! The bed will get all wet!"

"Hmm," Lan agreed, humming while his nose moved over her throat. "You can channel it dry later."

The Aes Sedai nudged his arm for his suggestion. "Who says that I want to do that?" She sighed heavily when her Warder continued his examination of her body but didn't answer her. "What are you doing?"

"I need to feel you," Lan murmured against her skin.

His hands grabbed the towel and parted it so there was nothing between them anymore. Then, they moved over the woman's warm skin without touching her in an inappropriate way.

Moiraine's hands moved over Lan's shoulders, feeling how tense his muscles were. "And sharing a bath wasn't enough for you to feel me?" She asked gently, letting him know through the bond that she didn't mind his examination.

"No."

Lan's lips moved over the healed wound on her chest, and he froze. Pictures of Moiraine – getting weaker and paler with every passing day – appeared before his eyes. How she had pushed herself to her limits until she couldn't move anymore. The bond had turned terribly silent, and more than once, Lan had feared he would lose his bondholder.

Other pictures flooded Lan's mind. A dark cave. Logain. Stepin's axes. Moiraine's pain. Their bond, fading quickly.

Panic rushed through Lan's veins, and his heart beat faster. The fear of losing Moiraine… he couldn't even bear the thought. Panting, he leaned his forehead against her chest and closed his eyes while his fingers moved over her stomach. Unlike the wound on her chest, there was no indication on her stomach that one of Stepin's axes had impaled her. Yet, Lan would never forget the image of her lying on the ground.

"Lan?"

Of course, the Cairhien woman felt his panic, though she didn't know what had caused it. She sent calm and soothing feelings through the bond while her hands moved over his tight shoulders and neck. "What's on your mind?"

The uncrowned king of Malkier couldn't speak. His fear had left a thick ball in his throat, making it impossible for him to speak.

"Lan."

Have you ever gotten close to draw too much?

I was tempted a few times.

When have you been tempted the last time?

A few days ago. I didn't have a choice. You were dying.

Another picture appeared before the Malkieri's eyes. A shard of a blade, cutting his throat. The feeling of his warm blood running over his throat. Although she had been injured badly, Moiraine had tried to reach him. His wonderful Aes Sedai had ignored her own pain just to save his life – and almost killed herself in the process.

Again, his fingers moved over her healed stomach. The wheel seemed to be cruel to him lately. How many times would it try to take Moiraine from him? How many times would he have to fear losing her?

"Enough."

Determined, the Cairhien woman grabbed the Malkieri's hand and pulled it away from her stomach. Lan growled when he lost contact but was finally able to lift his head, glaring at the woman beneath him who returned the look.

"Speak, Gaidin." Her words sounded harsh, but Lan knew she tried to help him. She wanted to break through his panic attack by distracting him.

Automatically, the Warder's hand tried to touch her stomach again, but the Aes Sedai slapped his hand away. "No." Lan gritted his teeth. He was stronger than her but he wouldn't go against her will. If she didn't let him touch her, he wouldn't do it – although his fingers longed for the contact. At least she didn't push him off her.

The hard look in her eyes told him she wouldn't let him touch her again until he started to listen to her. Lan swallowed. What should he tell her?

"Lately, it feels like the wheel…." His eyes landed on the scar on her shoulder. Close. Way too close. Without Nynaeve and Kerene… "It seems like it wants to separate us by all means." As soon as Lan noticed that his eyes burned, he closed them. "I couldn't stop that dagger at Bel Tine. I couldn't do anything against the poison."

"Lan-"

"I couldn't stop Stepin. And you nearly burned out because you tried to- "

"Stop." Moiraine cupped his face, then pressed her forehead against his. Her voice was gentle again. "None of that was your fault."

"I-"

"None of that was your fault." She waited until he sighed before she continued, "You did everything you could to protect and save me." Smiling, she pressed her lips on his cheek. "I don't know what the wheel plans for our future or why it scares us so much lately. But the one thing I do know is that I wouldn't want anyone else by my side – I wouldn't want anyone else to be my Warder."

A small smile appeared on the Malkieri's lips. No matter what had happened, the Cairhien woman didn't want to lose him. And she didn't think less of him. Her love filled their bond, so he sent her his love. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him.

Slowly, the ball in his throat turned smaller, and the tight feeling on Lan's chest faded. It became easier to speak. "I don't know what I'll do should I lose you." He lifted his hand, and his fingers moved over the scar on her shoulder. "You belong to me, Moiraine."

Moiraine's gaze turned soft. "As you belong to me." She stroked his cheek softly with her thumb. "And we will do our best to withstand the wheel's plans to separate us."

Lan nodded, agreeing. "Gladly." He didn't know how Moiraine had done it, but she had pulled him out of his dark thoughts. That woman was remarkable.

"Now, would you please get down here again?" The Aes Sedai asked, pulling her Warder's head down. "I'm getting cold."

The uncrowned king of Malkier chuckled. Her body still felt warm underneath him, yet he also felt her shivering slightly. Since he didn't cover her with his entire body anymore, her front was exposed to the nightly air.

Smiling, Lan rearranged his body until he covered her front. As a man from the Borderlands, he didn't mind a little cold but knew that the wonderful woman in his arms didn't like it very much.

Moiraine melted against his body until he couldn't say where she began and he ended. Her body fit so perfectly against his. Like she was made for me.

"Better?" The Malkieri asked when the Cairhien woman sighed contently in his arms.

"Hmm."

Gently, Lan brushed a loose lock behind Moiraine's ear. "Honestly, I'm surprised you told me to cover you instead of getting your nightgown."

"You keep me warmer than my nightgown."

Her words made Lan chuckle. "Do I?" Their foreheads connected again, and a warm feeling filled Lan's body. It always surprised him how well his body reacted to being close to his Aes Sedai. It accommodated Moiraine's movements, and a simple touch of her calmed him.

"Moiraine?"

The woman of the Blue Ajah winced when she recognized the voice of Alanna, and the uncrowned king of Malkier felt panic exploding in their bond. Should the Green Sister enter their tent without an invitation, she would…

Moiraine's fingers dug painfully into Lan's back when the entrance of the tent opened, and Alanna entered. "Are you coming to the fire? We need to talk about…."

Alanna froze when her eyes fell on Moiraine and Lan, and the rest of her words died on her lips. "Oh."

"Alanna!" Moiraine hissed, in anger. "Get out!"

Her words didn't seem to reach the woman of the Green Ajah. Instead, Alanna let her eyes roam over the two naked bodies, and they gleamed bright when they reached Lan's butt. Light, the shameless woman even tilted her head to have a better angle and licked her lips like she had a delicious meal before her. "Moiraine, Moiraine. I can't believe you keep such a tasty tidbit all to yourself."

Lan saw how his bondholder closed her eyes, ashamed, and her cheeks turned red. She got better with her nudity around her Warder, but her Cairhien nature broke through when she was around others.

Sighing, the Malkieri turned his head toward the other Aes Sedai. She was still admiring his naked butt. "Can we help you, Alanna Sedai?"

Finally, she met his eyes, and he saw the lust in them. Would that woman ever have enough men to satisfy her needs?

"Don't you want to consider joining Ihvon, Maksim, and me? Our bed is open to everyone who wants to have fun. And we do know a lot about pleasure."

Lan smiled politely. "I was talking about the reason why you came here in the first place."

Alanna pouted when he ignored her offer completely. "At least think about it, will you?" When Lan didn't answer, the Green Sister rolled her eyes. "I came to get Moiraine."

This time, the Malkieri nodded. There was little he could do about Aes Sedai's business. "I'll give you two the room." But when he tried to lift his body, Moiraine's fingers dug painfully in his back. Her angry glare was a clear message, "Don't you dare move."

Calmly, the uncrowned king of Malkier sent her soothing feelings, hoping it would calm her, then nodded as a sign that he understood the message. Carefully, he lowered his body again, though he ensured he wouldn't crush her beneath him.

"Turn around, Alanna." Moiraine's voice was as cold as ice.

"Come on, Moiraine. You can't expect me to- "

"Turn around!"

Grumbling, the Green Sister threw one last longing look at Lan's butt, then obeyed. She mumbled something inaudible.

"What do you want here?"

"I have to talk to a tent?"

"What do you want here?"

Alanna sighed overdramatic, but gave up. "We need to talk. Perhaps Lan could-"

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" Moiraine interrupted her harshly. "You don't mind his presence. You just want to get a better look at the rest of him."

"I need to talk to my fellow Sister and-"

"Lan stays."

Smiling, the uncrowned king of Malkier pressed his lips to the scar on his bondholder's chest. Moiraine was pissed and terribly ashamed of the entire situation, so she tried to hide it by snapping at her friend. But Lan felt the raging storm inside her. Soothingly, his fingers rubbed circles on her skin. At first, it seemed like it wouldn't work, but then the tension left Moiraine's body, so Lan continued while she talked to their guest.

"We need to talk about Logain."

"What about him?" Moiraine's fingers pulled at the towel, which was stuck underneath her, probably to cover Lan and herself. But the fabric didn't move.

"We can't continue like this. We need a new plan to deal with his countless attempts to run from us."

"I'm sure Liandrin already has a plan. You don't need me for that."

Growling, Alanna faced the naked pair again. "You're an Aes Sedai, Moiraine, and you travel with us for now. The least you could do is to help me with our Red Sisters."

"Turn around!"

This time, the Green Sister didn't obey. Instead, she even stepped closer. "Stand up and come with me."

"Leave, Alanna!"

Lan felt how the situation quickly turned sideways. How could he help to calm the flared tempers?

"I understand how desperately we all need a distraction, and believe me, I know there is no better distraction than letting your Warder take care of you." Alanna's eyes found the Malkieri's butt again, and the lust returned to them. Murmuring, she added, "Especially, when you have such a delicious distraction already lying between your legs."

Suddenly, the uncrowned king of Malkier felt how the Cairhien woman opened herself to Saidar and moved her hands behind his back. What was she doing?

"I said…."

The sound of water echoed in Lan's ear. Surprised, he lifted his head, searching for the source until he saw the water from the bathtub floating over the wooden construct. Blood and ashes! Moiraine didn't intent to…

"You shall leave!"

Alanna's eyes widened when the water cloud moved toward her. Shocked, she stumbled backward toward the entrance of the tent. "Moiraine. Stop that."

This time, it was the woman of the Blue Ajah who didn't listen. Slowly, she pushed her Green Sister out of the tent by threatening her with the water.

"Moiraine!"

"You leave us. Now. Tell the others I decided not to join you and wish not to be disturbed tonight."

"You-"

"And if you ever dare to look at my Warder again when he isn't wearing anything, you'll regret it."

Angrily, Alanna glared at Moiraine. "There is nothing wrong with watching and hoping for the best. I'm a woman and can't ignore a handsome man when I see one." The water cloud closed in on the Green Sister. Shrieking, she fled the tent.

Once the Green Sister was out of the tent and the water as well, Lan heard a loud splash and looked at Moiraine with big eyes. "Please, tell me you didn't…."

"You want to check on her?" The woman of the Blue Ajah asked sharply.

The uncrowned king of Malkier thought about his next words. He did want to check if Moiraine had drenched Alanna but was sure his Aes Sedai wouldn't take it very well if he took a look outside. Sighing, he cupped her cheek. Sadly, the Cairhien woman was pissed and turned her head away.

"I guess we would be deaf by now if the water hit her."

Moiraine huffed at his words yet didn't look at him. So, he needed a different approach if he wanted to pull her out of her bad mood. Gently, he pressed a kiss right behind her earlobe, feeling her shivering. Good. She was still reacting to him.

Slowly, Lan kissed his way down her throat to her shoulder when she finally tried to push him off her. "I think I'd like to get dressed now."

Confused, the Warder furrowed his forehead. What was she talking about? "Wasn't it you who said that I'm warmer than your nightgown?"

"Well, and now I changed my mind. Get up."

The big man didn't move an inch. "What if I don't?"

Moiraine growled angrily. "Lan, don't play with me. I'm not in the mood for it. Get up."

Smiling, the uncrowned king of Malkier made himself as heavy as possible. "No."

"No?" The Aes Sedai couldn't believe what she heard. "What do you mean with 'No'?"

"I like it to feel you. I don't want to leave." Again, Lan's lips found the scar on Moiraine's shoulder. Would he ever be able to get rid of those images? "So, what now? Will you use the rest of the water from the bathtub to drench me?"

"Don't tempt me," Moiraine growled, but it didn't work. "I want to put on a nightgown."

Her attempts to push him off her were cute. "No, you want to get rid of me."

Lan realized she was close to crying, so he pressed his forehead against the side of her head and simply held her in his arms while sending his love through the bond.

Slowly, the Cairhien woman stopped fighting. Instead, she held the Malkieri closer to her. After a few minutes of silence, Moiraine was finally ready to talk again.

"They all will think that we bed each other." Her voice was thick with unshed tears.

"Isn't that what everyone believes when an Aes Sedai bonds a Warder?" The uncrowned king of Malkier asked softly.

"But until now, they simply assumed." Moiraine was clearly not liking the thought. "Now, Alanna will tell everyone what she has seen and confirms everyone's suspicion."

Lan doubted that it was the real reason why Moiraine was upset. She had never cared about what the other Aes Sedai thought about her. "Are you really worried about what your sisters think of us or about what she will think once she hears Alanna's tale?"

There was no need to explain who SHE was. The tent wasn't shielded, so they couldn't talk about Siuan openly. Yet, they both knew who the Malkieri was talking about. And since the Cairhien woman stiffened at his words, the man from the Borderlands had hit home.

Softly, he said, "She knows the truth, Moiraine."

"What if she-?"

"She knows the truth," the uncrowned king of Malkier interrupted her. "There had been countless rumors over the years. And she didn't believe one of them, did she?"

Quietly, Moiraine shook her head slightly. Satisfied, the Malkieri smiled. "And she won't believe that one either. She is a smart woman."

Finally, a small smile appeared on the Aes Sedai's lips. The Warder decided to change the subject before she continued to think about it too much. "Do you intend to leave the puddle outside our tent?"

"Would you rather have it inside?" Moiraine asked in a mocking tone.

She shrieked when Lan started to tickle her instead of answering her. He stopped once she needed air to breathe, though she couldn't stop laughing. "I would not, thank you very much." Sighing, he shook his head. "I just wonder if it's a good idea to leave it out there."

"I like to think of it as a warning for my sisters not to disturb me again."

Lan chuckled, understanding that intention. He wouldn't mind not being disturbed tonight, either. He just wanted to hold Moiraine in his arms until she had enough of him. They rarely had a moment to themselves, and after everything that had happened lately, he enjoyed that moment.

Hesitantly, Moiraine's hands found his tensed shoulders again, kneading them softly. "I could use the One Power to- "

"No channeling," the Malkieri interrupted her. "I have everything I need right here in my arms. Forget about my shoulders."

A wave of warmth, love, and admiration rolled through the bond and warmed the uncrowned king of Malkier. He wasn't the only one who enjoyed the close contact. Carefully, he ensured not to crush Moiraine beneath him while keeping her warm with his body. Soon, he would have to get their clothes and probably a blanket.

If he was lucky, Moiraine would allow him to hold her while she was asleep. There was nothing more calming to him than the calm breathes of his Aes Sedai, her warm body pressed against him, and her scent surrounding him.

Next week, we will continue with the last story for Episode 1.

The next chapter will be uploaded on Sunday.

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