Moiraine can't outsmart her Warder. When will she learn?

To Lynn Sedai: Thank you for reading and your comment. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I love flashbacks with Moiraine and Lan because I can let them hug and cuddle and be sweet around each other. I try my best to continue posting, but I barely have time to write, so there will be long breaks between my uploads. But I still have many stories written that I need to revise and countless ideas for more stories :D

"Lan?"

Shocked, Moiraine lifted her head. Who was calling for her Warder? She felt Lan growling beneath her, and his grip around her tightened.

"Are you awake?"

Was that Ihvon? Sleepily, the Cairhien woman rubbed her eyes. What had happened? The tent was dark – the fire must have died a while ago. Lan's arms were wrapped around her while her hands had grabbed his tunic.

"Lan?"

Cursing, the uncrowned king of Malkier hissed, "What is it?!"

The woman of the Blue Ajah felt how tired her Warder was. He didn't want to deal with his brother.

"It's your turn to watch over Stepin."

Another curse left Lan's lips, and he rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. "Already?"

"You should have taken over for Maksim an hour ago. But we decided to give you the extra hour. Are you coming?"

For a moment, Moiraine wanted to snap at Ihvon, telling him to leave them alone. She didn't want Lan to leave. After longing for his touch all day, she didn't want to let go off him so soon.

"Nynaeve announced she wants to join you, giving Stepin some herbs or something like that. I think we all know, in truth, that she wants to spend time with you alone."

Nynaeve. The woman who held Lan's heart in her hands. It wasn't fair to keep him in that tent just because the Aes Sedai enjoyed her Warder's company. Lan worried about Stepin and probably wanted to spend as much time with the Wisdom as possible.

Sighing, she let go of Lan's tunic. "You should go." Her stomach twisted painfully, but she ignored it. "Stepin needs you. And Nynaeve."

"Moiraine-"

"I'll be all right. I'm tired and will sleep."

"Lan?" Ihvon was still waiting for an answer.

Growling, the Malkieri kissed his bondholder's forehead, then stood up, slipping out from under the blanket.

Moiraine shivered when the warmth escaped and pulled the blanket tight around her again. She realized that she was still naked from the waist up but was too tired to do anything against it.

Her eyes followed the dark figure that was Lan until he left their tent. Immediately, the longing returned with full force, and a wave of jealousy rolled over the Cairhien woman. Why had she told him he should be with Nynaeve? She had him right where she needed him – by her side.

Light, she wished she could switch places with the young woman! Maybe she should have offered the Malkieri to join him? Would he liked having her with him while he watched his friend? Or was he preferring Nynaeve's company?

Quickly, Moiraine fought down her jealousy. What was wrong with her? She wanted Lan to be happy, and the Wisdom made him happy.

Angry with herself, the woman of the Blue Ajah moved to where Lan had been lying, taking in as much warmth his body had left behind as possible. And then she buried her nose in the linen. The fabric still contained his scent. He had left her for tonight, but at least, she had a few hours with him. That was better than nothing.

If she was able to separate Lan from Nynaeve for a few hours a day, perhaps she could control her longing better that way. At least if the young woman played along. If she didn't…

"I'm gone for a few minutes, yet you manage to occupy the entire space. How do you do that?"

Moiraine froze. Was she hallucinating? Was she so tired that she already imagined Lan talking to her? Slowly, she lifted her head. The tent was still dark but there was a dark figure standing beside the bed. Was it possible that Lan…?

"Would you please move over so I can lie down again? Or do you need help?"

"What-?"

Before Moiraine could finish her question, Lan lifted her in his arms. But because her hands held the blanket together, she couldn't fight against him. Surprised, the Cairhien woman observed how her Warder returned to his former position, placing her alongside him. She hadn't expected that.

"What about Stepin?"

Lan let go of her while he tried to find his old comfortable position. "Ihvon takes over for me. I told him that he and Maksim can take turns being with Alanna while I don't have that luxury."

The Aes Sedai raised an eyebrow at his words even though he couldn't see it. Luxury? Did he regret that she would never bond another Warder while they were bonded?

"And since I want to spend the night with my Aes Sedai, I asked him to take my place at Stepin's side. He wasn't happy but agreed."

"You think of it as a luxury to have multiple Warders bonded to an Aes Sedai? Would you want to take turns with other men who protect me for the day?" The thought pained her. Was Lan bored of her? Did he wish to have more free time to himself?

The uncrowned king of Malkier sighed. "Of course not. I'm the only one bonded to you, and I don't want it any other way."

"Well, it sounded like-"

"I enjoyed our previous position before Ihvon interrupted us. So, come here."

Lan's hands grabbed her and pulled her on top of him. Did he know she couldn't use her hands since they held on to the blanket?

"This is not our old position."

Moiraine felt Lan's amusement through the bond, then he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head down on his chest. "Well, it's close enough. At least better than before." The Aes Sedai smiled when he pressed a kiss on her hair. Without knowing it, the Malkieri had quieted her longing. Although Stepin and Nynaeve were waiting for him, he decided to spend the night with her.

Content, the Cairhien woman ensured the blanket would cover her wonderful Warder, too, then placed her head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent and enjoying his warmth. It was wonderful.

The feeling of Lan's hand on her back – rubbing soothing circles – made her sleepy again.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Hm?" Moiraine's sleepy brain didn't understand what Lan was talking about. Couldn't he feel that she was feeling good?

"All day I can feel that pain of yours. You try to suppress it, but I know it's there. It makes your stomach twist."

It was as if the Malkieri had poured cold water over the Cairhien woman. Immediately, she was wide awake again. Lan had noticed?! She thought she had been careful!

"You don't need to worry. I'm all right."

Moiraine didn't know how long she would be all right, but at least for now, she was fine. It should be enough to calm Lan.

The uncrowned king of Malkier turned silent. Probably thinking about her words. "You're fine now. But what changed to earlier?"

"Lan-"

"What can I do to prevent it from happening again? How can I help?"

Tears built up in the Aes Sedai's eyes. Her incredible Warder wanted to understand what was going on with her. Although he already had Stepin and Nynaeve on his mind, there was still a part of him looking out for her.

"It's stupid," she whispered.

"How can it be stupid when it's bothering you?" Moiraine bit her lip. How much should she tell him? "I hate seeing you in pain. Please, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"You already do it." She couldn't see the furrow on Lan's forehead due to the darkness but felt his confusion in the bond. He didn't understand what she was talking about. "You're here. Holding me."

His embrace tightened slightly. "You needed me to hold you?"

"I…" The Cairhien woman didn't know what to say. How could she explain her weird feelings to him?

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You… you have Stepin… and Nynaeve… they need you. I… it's not important what I need."

Lan pressed another kiss on her hair while his fingers moved through her locks. "You matter to me. And I care about what you need. Especially when it is something as simple as me spending the day with you or holding you in my arms."

With tears in her eyes, Moiraine shook her head. "You need to focus on Stepin and Nynaeve. They-"

"Stop." The Aes Sedai gulped. It was rare that her Warder raised his voice at her. "Stepin doesn't care who is by his side. He doesn't care if I watch over him or one of the other Warders. I even believe he would love to be left alone – except everyone knows it wouldn't be a good idea."

"Fine. But Nynaeve-"

"Nynaeve is happy for as long as she has nothing to do with Aes Sedai. And even though she likes to forget that we Warders are bonded to Aes Sedai, I will never forget that." The first tears started to drop when the Malkieri pressed another kiss on her hair. "I care about my Aes Sedai and want to know when she isn't feeling well."

Moiraine couldn't answer anymore. Her overwhelming emotions made it impossible to talk. It was like they were tied around her throat, and she fought hard not to sob. She knew she didn't have to be the strong one with Lan, yet she hated to look weak.

There was no doubt that Lan felt her emotions through the bond and her tears on his tunic, but he simply kissed her hair and rubbed his hand soothingly over her back instead of mentioning it. She honestly had the best Warder in the entire world.

This time, Moiraine was alone. No Lan, no camp. Only Aldieb was with her. She had left her sisters and their Warders behind. And she had hurt the one person who had protected her for the last twenty years. Hugging her beautiful mare didn't help against the pain in her heart. It didn't help to stop the tears running down her cheeks either. This time, the sobs escaped Moiraine's lips while she pressed her face into Aldieb's mane.

Her mare continued to dance nervously. She wasn't used to such an emotional outburst from her rider, and the Aes Sedai heard her neighing softly.

Finally, Aldieb turned around, walking back to the camp. It seemed like she had decided to bring her rider back to Lan. Shocked, the Cairhien woman pushed herself into a sitting position and grabbed the reigns again. "Stop, Aldieb."

But the mare simply snorted and continued. Quickly, Moiraine used her thigh to change Aldieb's direction. "This is the wrong way." Surprised, she realized that her horse ignored her. That never happened before!

"Aldieb!" Again, the woman of the Blue Ajah pressed her thigh against the mare's flank, but it was no use. Aldieb continued her path.

Although she hated to use the reigns, Moiraine realized she had no choice. Whatever had happened to her stubborn mare, she wouldn't turn around if Moiraine didn't show her who was giving the orders.

Aldieb snorted angrily when Moiraine pulled her head aside so the mare had to turn around. Then she shook her head wildly like she hoped to pull the reigns out of her rider's hands. "Aldieb, stop it!"

Again, the mare turned toward the direction where the camp was, but the Cairhien woman used the reigns. "We can't go back!"

The Aes Sedai almost laughed when Aldieb shook her head again. It was evident that her mare didn't agree with her.

"Please," Moiraine said softly, placing her hand on Aldieb's neck to calm the poor horse. "Trust me. I would love to return to Lan, but I can't."

We've never been equals.

Aldieb snorted angrily and turned her head toward the camp but didn't try to go there again. It seemed like she was actually listen to her rider.

"I don't deserve his protection anymore. Without Saidar… I'm not worthy of a Warder like him." Moiraine's voice broke, and she needed a moment to continue, "He will die if he follows me, Aldieb. I can't protect him. I can't heal him."

I'm still your Warder. No, you failed me.

Light, she had used everything she had to hurt him as deeply as possible! Fresh tears ran over her cheeks, but Moiraine didn't bother to wipe them away.

"But there is someone worthy of his protection and talent. Nynaeve will be a strong Aes Sedai one day. She is the right woman for him."

Again, the beautiful mare shook her head like she disagreed, making the Aes Sedai chuckle. She had a wonderful loyal horse. "Lan loves her, and Nynaeve loves him. You know that."

This time, there was no reaction. The mare simply stared in the direction of the camp. Smiling, Moiraine stroked the mare's neck, then her sad eyes followed Aldieb's gaze. Her heart wanted to go back. She wanted Lan!

Aldieb took a step toward the camp, pulling Moiraine out of her thoughts. Heavy-heartedly, the woman pressed her thigh against Aldieb's flank, and this time, the horse obeyed. "Come on. Alanna will watch over Lan until they reach Tar Valon. We have a different destination. Rand needs our help if Lanfear is truly free. We can't let the boy fall for the darkness."

One last time, the mare neighed softly like she said goodbye to Lan and Mandarb, then followed Moiraine's direction, bringing her rider to Cairhien.

The next story will be about Episode 4 since neither Moiraine nor Lan made an appearance in Episode 3 (I don't count Lan's appearance during Nynaeve's testing since it was only a dream/possible future/something else, but not real).