AN: Thank you to all that left reviews it helped me tremendously. I hope you all enjoy this one as I continue working through the story. I have some exciting and fun chapters coming up so stay tuned! And as always, Cheers!

Alastor never liked sand, it was messy, got into everything, especially his shoes. The constant blinding sunlight wasn't great either, though it did insure he had shadows to slip through, not that he really needed them up here.

So here he was, stuck right where he was only a year and a half ago. All that work and progress for nothing. The only thing keeping him sane was the fact his shadow was out scouring all of heaven to find Ellen. She was up here somewhere and when he was assured of it, he could have his shadow lead her here. The beach just outside of the gates, outside of the seraphim's realm. It wasn't ideal, but at least they could collaborate and find a way back down to Hell together. After that they could work on breaking his contract with Lilith again.

"Alastor, you know I hate all that pacing, it ruins the calm mood of the beach."

"Apologies my queen." He didn't bother hiding the annoyance in his tone, but he did cease his pacing.

It had been wishful thinking to believe she wouldn't have fixed the clause that got him free last time. He would have to find another way out. It would probably be better if Ellen could read through it, it might be better with a fresh pair of eyes. He couldn't say how many times he had read it trying to find a way out. He wasn't sure he could.

The one good thing about knowing Lilith was desperate to get him back under a soul contract was it gave him some power to change some of the clauses. Nothing major, but if he was reading through the contract and someone just happened to be reading it while it was out, it wouldn't cause them to go blind anymore, it would just be mildly uncomfortable. Lilith was likely confident in the solidity of it now, no longer worried someone might find a loophole. If anything it was a false sense of hope for her to dangle above him. It still meant he could get others to read it over.

"You know some sunlight would do you good, Alastor. We're going to be here for a while, might as well get some colour."

He opened his mouth to respond but a quick shadow darting by, stopped him. His shadow had returned.

A simple headshake was enough to ruin whatever positive mood he had, being stuck in this boring, sandy wasteland. He moved further away from Lilith, not wanting her listening in.

"You're certain you checked everywhere?"

No sign of her.

"No, that's not possible." He took a few steps but stopped remembering he needed to keep from pacing. He and his shadow had scoured all of Hell a few times to be sure she wasn't there. He had known she wouldn't, she was far too pure a soul to remain in Hell, but for her not to be in heaven either, had to be a mistake. Where else would she have ended up?

"She has to be here somewhere."

She is not even in that book at the gates. I checked everywhere.

Alastor ran a hand through his hair and over his ears, flustered. If she wasn't in Hell and wasn't in heaven where else could her soul have gone? Was it possible her soul was destroyed completely? It seemed unlikely, only angelic steel could do that, but then again, there was no way of knowing what would happen to her soul, it was all speculation.

"You're pacing again!"

He halted his movement not realizing it had even started. He turned back to his shadow ready to interrogate him more but stopped himself, knowing it was pointless. Was there a chance she was here, but didn't want him knowing, she had some sort of plan that needed his ignorance until a certain point? His shadow wasn't good at keeping secrets, not from him at least so that was out of the question.

He waved a small table and a chair into existence for himself, sitting heavily. She had to be somewhere, he just needed to think. He let his head fall onto the table top with a groan. This was all for nothing. He sold his soul for nothing.

"Alastor?"

His head whipped up, posture straightening, he knew that voice but it shouldn't be possible. His ears hadn't deceived him.

Her eyes moved to his shadow, which had now tried hiding behind its master. She thought it looked like…

"Ma?" He stood shocked. How did she get here? This part of heaven was supposed to be inaccessible to everyone. She wasn't safe here. His eyes quickly turned to the only other person here. Lilith either didn't know or didn't care.

By the time he turned back, Cecile had moved to stand at the other side of the table looking at him confused.

"What are you doing here?" She turned, taking in the rest of the beach, Lilith's little safe haven. "What is this place?"

He waved another chair into existence, motioning for her to sit. She turned back to her son, eyes filled with worry. The look made his stomach twist.

"What are you doing here?", she repeated.

"It's a bit complicat-"

"-Don't you dare dodge the question." She pointed to his shadow. "That thing has circled my house three times today and I come to find it hiding here in this…place. With you. I will not ask again."

There was no answer he could give that wouldn't lead to more questions. The less she knew the better. He could hear Ellen's retort to that thought. She knows more than you think. She's not dumb. She was correct, his mother knew him better than anyone. At least she did, before she was murdered. How far down the proverbial rabbit hole was he going to let this go? A defeated sigh whistled through his nose.

"I was hoping to find Ellen here."

"Here? Why would you think…?" She stopped herself, already figuring out the answer. "Oh Alastor, I'm so sorry baby."

"I don't care for the sympathies, it does nothing."

She gave him a look but remained silent for a moment to think. "I hadn't felt her presence here until I passed the fence. You are still connected to her aren't you?" She hummed in thought before answering her own question. "No, it wasn't her I was connected to, I suppose."

"What connection?"

"Of souls mon cher. That's how we found each other, but I couldn't quite put together why her. I assumed it was because of her close proximity to you."

Alastor eyed his mother carefully. He didn't think the heaven folk knew of their souls, they didn't make contracts or barter with them. Did they hold another importance here?

"I was certain it was you."

His eyes widened as it clicked together. Ellen never mentioned it and he never asked. It seemed unlikely for her to just happen to cross paths with his mother, something brought them together and unknowingly it was him, or his soul really.

"It was."

She smiled, shaking her head. "My dear we connected weeks before that Seraphim meeting."

"She had my soul. It was part of our marriage contract."

Her eyes widened. She wasn't sure what surprised her more, the fact a soul could be traded or that her son had made a contract for his marriage. "So you…I feel the connection, you have it back?"

He grimaced at the hopeful look on his mothers face. "I do not."

She shook her head in disappointment. "Alastor, that was the best way of finding her. You two have been joined in a way that defies the odds."

He stood glaring daggers at the woman across from him. "You think I just traded it off for nothing?! You have no knowledge of this matter, don't you dare profess to know what I've been through."

She simply waved him back down to his seat. "Sit down cher."

To the untrained eye, she hadn't batted an eye at the outburst, but Alastor saw the flinch, the nanosecond of fear that passed her eyes before it was quickly pushed out. She was well practiced, something she had learned in her mortal life. There was only one person she had ever used that self control with.

And for him to elicit the same reaction had whatever dignity he had left, snap. It didn't matter anymore, he had already lost everything he cared for. Did he think his mother would still be proud of him, no but he was going to be nothing but honest with her. She might as well see him for his true colours.

He sat, his tongue running across his teeth, his smile tight. "He got what he deserved."

Her eyes lifted to his realizing she wasn't fast enough hiding her reaction. "Your father was-

"-That man was never my father," he interrupted.

"I'm sure he repented for it."

Alastor chuckled, arms crossing his chest. This was it, there was no going back. "Never gave him the chance. He sealed his fate the day he took you from me."

Cecile's eyes opened in horror. "Alastor! You didn't…"

"Oh but I did ma. The fuzz couldn't pin him for bumping you off, but I knew he did it. He confessed rather quickly after I removed those beat up hands of his." He looked down at his nails. "Not one of my best works, a bit messy seeing as it was my first, but no one found him, or what was left of him I suppose. And when I had the displeasure of finding him again in Hell, well let's say I wasn't nearly as inexperienced as I was the first time I did him in." His grin pulled higher and his eyes found his mother. "As I said, he got what he deserved."

"You're a monster."

His eyes narrowed, smile tightening, a well practiced reaction. He didn't let it show how those words hurt him. Normally they wouldn't but from his mother it hit differently.

"Hmm, I suppose I am. Who do you think I learned it from?"

Her voice cracked and she leaned a little further away from him. "How many?"

"While alive fourteen, but after I died is when I really excelled. I have no way of knowing."

"Why? Why are you telling me all of this? I don't understand."

Alastor waved a pot of tea and a cup onto the table and gestured for her to help herself, having one already in his hand taking a sip. He crossed a leg getting comfortable.

"What have I got to lose? If I'm going to hit rock bottom I might as well pull all the stops. I suppose there was a small part of me that wanted you to know."

"You wanted me to know you went out and just…murdered people on a whim?!"

He hummed in amusement. This almost felt like the kind of back and forth he had with Ellen. "I am as much your son as his, you raised me a proper gentleman. Only those deserving of such a fate found their ends by my hand."

"Alastor! My glass is empty."

He turned to find a hand shaking an empty glass sticking out from behind the large umbrella on the beach. He didn't bother suppressing this groan as he snapped refilling her glass returning his gaze to his mother.

Cecile's eyes moved to the large umbrella for a moment wondering if she wanted to know, but pushed it aside. Her mind was already swimming, she wasn't sure how much more she could take.

"You can't be judge, jury and executioner. You don't know if any of those people could have repented; changed."

"I assure you mother, I did my due diligence. The world was much better off without them."

His mother sat quietly, her eyes refusing to look at him. He pulled his gaze away. He didn't regret it. There was some small solace of having everything out in the open, nothing to hide. This was him, the true him. As for the consequences? He knew it would kill him. He loved his mother, always would no matter what she thought of him. Perhaps this could be seen as self-sabotage, but it's not like he had anything else going for him. He couldn't find Ellen, lost his son in a deal he made almost a hundred years ago, he was now stuck in heaven, his soul no longer his, trapped again with Lilith. Why not add being disowned by his mother to the list?

"So you're looking for Ellen to kill her again? She crossed some line?"

He couldn't admit she was correct. In a way, he had killed her. Ellen had warned him about the complications of having a child, that there were so many things that could go wrong and he ignored them. She had been right. And if that wasn't a deep enough stab to his gut, he barely got to hold his son for ten minutes before he too was taken from him.

He didn't know why he wasn't used to this feeling. Like someone had stabbed him in the stomach, blade twisting cruelly to cause as much pain and damage as possible. It seemed to be a common occurrence lately. He expected some sort of lashing, a spiteful, hateful tone but the words were what really did the damage. It was only logical for her to assume the worst in him now. She probably thought all the words they had shared before were simply lies.

"No," he finally answered. Though he hadn't intended it to be so hushed. He put his tea cup down and against his will it clattered rather harshly onto the saucer. He cleared his throat, slightly annoyed to find it had already gone dry.

"No, that is not the reason I wish to find her. I'm sure you may find it difficult to believe, but I do care for her considerably."

"It's not hard to believe at all." Her lips curled up a little. "You're goofy with this girl."

For the first time since her arrival some vulnerability slipped into his tone. He couldn't deny it even if he wanted to.

"I am."

Cecile watched her son, eyes searching for something, what? She didn't know. Of course she was upset, what mother wouldn't be upon finding out their son had taken up a dreadful hobby. But she couldn't bring herself to hate him, to be horrified. He found himself wed to a lovely girl, and she, while troublesome in her own way, must have found a way to accept this side of him. Perhaps she didn't know? Even so, the news wouldn't deter her. They had wed after all. She may not fully understand but there was something else here.

She knew Ellen relatively well and she, like her, didn't care much for the gruesome and graphic scenes, given she was better at handling such sights. She was definitely winner material yet seemed to overlook this side of her son or accept this part of him. And if this other woman could with the limited knowledge she had of him, well damn it she could too. She was his mother after all, she wouldn't turn her back on him.

There was another long moment of silence and Alastor took it to try and to bring some moisture back to his throat. It took two cups of tea before the silence was broken.

"Alright. From the beginning then. I don't know how much I can be of help, but a fresh mind can bring a different perspective."

His ears straightened. "What?"

"You've found yourself in a bit of a jam. If you are going to go find your doll, you're going to have to tell me what has gotten you to this point. I expect there's nothing left to disclose worse than the fact my son was, or still is a murderer."

He stared at her in disbelief. She was going to help? Ellen's words came flooding back like they had been waiting for him to question his mother's motives. Is she going to be disappointed? Yeah probably, but what parent doesn't hold their kids to a higher standard… I don't approve of all that you do but that doesn't mean I love you any less. He had expected her to leave, be angry, perhaps yell.

He shook his head, certain he had heard wrong. Maybe she hadn't fully comprehended the gravity of what he had done, what he still did.

"You're not disgusted by me, my actions? I have slaughtered hundreds of souls, ma. I have earned damnation with no intent of ceasing my activities."

"Be that as it may, you still won the heart of that Jane. She sees something in you, and while I've only spent a short amount of time with her I know she is quite intuitive. You are quite strong minded Alastor. It takes a strong woman to keep a man like that in check."

"You made it look easy."

"And don't think for one second I won't tell you just how much I had to work to make it look so."

She paused, taking a sip of her tea. "I will not pretend to tolerate your actions, but you are your own man free to make your own decisions. That being said, I will be honest, I am quite disappointed to hear of my son falling into such wicked ways."

She sighed, putting her tea cup down sitting up a bit taller. "You are my son Alastor, my job is to guide you to being the best version of yourself. If…" Her face soured a bit, gesturing to him. "...this is what you were meant to do, then all I can do is support you and hope you find someone that understands that, understands you." She cleared her throat before continuing, leaning forward onto the table taking his hand in hers.

"Now, from the top, tell me everything."

He swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. She really did love him. And to think Ellen had been right about it all along. He was certain his mother would turn from him, disgusted by his actions. Did this make him want to kill less? Not a chance, if anything it may have made it easier. There was a large weight that had been lifted from his chest. All these years, all these decades he had assumed he would be left hiding this part of him from her, hoping, praying to whatever deity that she never saw that side of him.

Now she was going to help him and it felt like he could take a breath again, the past half hour feeling like he had been submerged underwater.

Alastor's grin was genuine when he recounted from the start, Ellen's arrival in Hell. He hadn't realized how much time they had actually spent together until explaining it all to his mother. She remained silent for most of it, only asking a few questions for clarification. He finished off telling her of her grandson. She couldn't quite hide her dislike for his name; it brought a small chuckle from him.

They had long finished their pot of tea, now sitting in silence as Cecile absorbed the life Ellen had while in Hell, under his care.

"And you are certain she wouldn't have just respawned like all the others in Hell?"

Alastor nodded. "I checked a few times with the help of my shadow."

Her head leaned around to take a look at the shadow in question. It gave her a small hesitant wave. "And your shadow, it moves on its own?"

"Very helpful when searching large places quickly."

She only nodded before turning back to her son. "While if she's not here nor in Hell then I suppose there is only one place left to check. How you'll get there I don't know but if I were to guess that's where she'd be."

He tilted his head to the side. The soul only had access to two realms after it died. She would have to be…No. No, she hadn't died, not officially. How had he been so daft?! Of course she wasn't here. She would have gone back to the mortal realm, back to her old life. This changed everything.

"The mortal realm."

Cecile nodded. "I'm afraid I don't know how the dead can get back to the land of the living. I've only heard of archangels doing so to oversee certain events. No one that had actually once lived."

No one in heaven would ever agree to something like that. There would have to be another way of getting to the mortal realm. One that didn't involve heaven's angels.

Cecile stood, and Alastor followed out of habit. "I should head back, but I'll stop by tomorrow. You have a lot to think about and I know you, cher." She smiled. "You need time, I'm sure you'll figure something out, you've always been smart."

She turned to leave but paused. He was about to ask why she had stopped, when she turned back to give him a tight hug. "You are still a fine young man. I will always love you mon cher." She let go giving him a quick smile before turning to leave.

"Maman?"

"Yes?"

"Merci. Pour tout." (Thank you. For everything.)

Her smile brightened. "Aucun remerciement n'est nécessaire, mon chèr. Je fais simplement mon travail." (No thanks necessary, my dear. I'm just doing my job.)

He moved his eyes to look over his shoulder, addressing his shadow. "Make sure she gets home safe, then right back."

He dated off.

Alastor waved the table and chairs away moving further onto the beach, the sand no longer a concern. He was going to need to do a lot of research and to do that comfortably he would need to return to Hell. If possible he would need to find someone that would know more about traveling to the mortal realm, there was only one person that came to mind that may know. He swallowed a groan. The last man he wanted to see let alone have to try working with. Lucifer. He would have to work with the king of Hell if he had any hope of finding Ellen.

He stopped mid step, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. Lucifer was a fallen angel. A fallen archangel to be exact. No, no no. A hopeless fever dream. There was no way he was going to ask him for help.