21

James hitched his backpack high up on his shoulders, bummed that camp was over for the day. Today had been fun, at least when flag football and other activities helped him forget everything with Branden's trip and his dad. Then, during the free time in between, he'd start thinking about everything all over again. Now, he was getting picked up and he was going to have to face him again.

Branden also couldn't believe his father was pulling him from the trip. James blamed him for all of it. Worse was Devon chiming in on their group chat when he heard the news. Just to stick it to him, he kept blabbing about how much fun they would still have without him. His mom hadn't made things any better either when they talked this morning. Like his dad said, she knew about it already and agreed with him. Who knew what he even told her and to make it worse, she said he already made the decision and couldn't change it, then had to run back to work. Unbelievable!

Just like last night and this morning, James didn't want to see or talk to his dad. He refused dinner, which seemed like a good idea at the time to let them know just how mad he was, but all it did was make him super hungry by morning. Even so, guilt began to creep in here and there for what he said and for giving him the silent treatment. He never spoke to his mom like that and he wasn't sure what she would do if he did. Then again, she'd never done something like this to him either. She might be strict about things he could do, but she'd never given him something and than taken it back for no reason.

Everything with his dad had been going great, now he was trying to act like a strict dad with his mom away. He just didn't get why he wasn't letting him go to Philadelphia when his friends were still going. Their parents were okay with it, he should be too. That was why he shoved the guilt away and went back to not wanting to talk to him again.

James' pace slowed as he neared the exit where one of the counselors stood guard between arriving parents and departing campers. He inhaled deeply as she waved him through and stepped over the threshold, looking down at his feet to avoid meeting his father's eyes and what he expected would be disappointment over how he was behaving.

However, it was an unexpected, deep voice calling out his name that drew his attention. His head shot up to find his grandfather all dressed up in his work suit. Frank Reagan greeted him with his patented mustache stretching along a big, closed-mouth smile.

James frowned suspiciously at his grandfather's presence and looked up and down the hall for his dad or Eddie. When they were nowhere in sight, his first thought made his stomach twist: his dad must be really mad at him to send someone else to get him. He'd been to enough Sunday dinners to know Reagans didn't stand for any disrespect coming from their kids. If not for the drama with his father, James might have picked up on the worry in his grandfather's blue eyes. Instead, James stood in front of him and gave him a nervous look. "Am I in trouble?"

With both hands in his pockets, Frank's head tilted at the unanticipated question. "For what?" He suspected that a question of this sort meant there was something going on that he wasn't privy to, but he would file that away for later.

"Why are you here?" James asked, ready to just get on with it and have his grandpa confirm his suspicions.

"Walk with me," Frank said and guided the boy out of the community center and to his car where his detail waited. He preferred to speak with his grandson in private.

James followed along dutifully, his eyes widening at the large, black SUV waiting curbside and the two burly suits standing on either end.

"Hop in," Frank ordered, directing James to the back driver's side door that Detective Nuciforo swiftly opened.

He had a strange feeling about this and paused to glance at his grandfather once more before obeying his instructions. Once the door closed, he buckled in and took in his surroundings while he waited for his grandpa to settle in the seat beside him. If it wasn't that he was worried about being in hot water, he might enjoy the drive in his grandfather's fancy ride.

"We thought a sleep over at my house was in order. Pop's planning to cook us a big dinner - all your favorites. How does that sound?" Frank announced once they were on their way. The patented smile was back.

His dad might claim to know when people were holding back on him, but so did James and he saw that now. His grandfather was hiding something. "Why?"

"Do you need a reason to come hang out with your grandpas?" Frank countered, sensing that this might not go as they all planned.

In this case, James thought there was. "Where's my dad?" he pressed, worried about how mad he was at him. He wouldn't just send him off to his grandfather, would he? Would he send him back to his mom's like he asked if she wasn't away? Maybe Eddie was mad too because she didn't come for him either. She would surely back his dad over him.

Frank exhaled through his nose. Although he had volunteered to get James, he was dreading this part and began with what mattered the most right now to put the boy at ease. "Your dad is fine," he stressed, "but he had to go to the hospital today."

Worry filled James' hazel eyes. That was the last thing he expected to hear. "Why?"

Frank looked away, choosing his words carefully. Unbeknownst to him, they were similar to those Jamie used to briefly describe what happened to Joe and they would cause his grandson to fill with fear and more guilt. "He got into some trouble at work and he got hurt."

His eyes widened. "What kind of trouble?" James asked, fearing worse news as his father's own words echoed in his head. His grandfather wasn't even taking him to the hospital to see him, this had to be bad.

"You don't need to worry about that," Frank said with a shake of his head.

"I'm not a baby, Grandpa!" James replied as worry and anger blended together. He hated those nonanswers.

Frank regarded him, sympathetic to his feelings. He might be ten, but he was smart enough to understand that his father had a dangerous job, even if he was new to their cop family. And he was a Reagan - he wanted answers and deserved to get them. He was going to see Jamie eventually, might as well tell him the whole truth now. "I know you're not, James," Frank said, then paused as he thought about how best to begin.

James' tense shoulders fell, his expression sad as his mind assumed one thing only. "He said the same thing," he whispered.

Frank was confused. "What are you talking about, James? Who said what?"

"Dad. He told me about Uncle Joe and that he got into trouble on the job and got hurt. Then he died," he explained.

Oh no. Frank stretched one arm across his grandson's shoulders and pulled him as close as the seat belts would allow. "Oh, James. I'm sorry. This isn't that, I promise you."

James wanted to believe him, but he still didn't understand what was going on.

His grandfather could see he still had questions. "Long story short," he exhaled, "he and his partner responded to a call at an apartment complex that turned out to be a fake. They were set up and surrounded by a gang that didn't like cops. There was a fight before backup could get there."

That was the simple explanation minus many details he decided his youngest grandson didn't need to hear. Jamie and his partner did respond to what turned out to be a fake domestic violence call at a housing complex. Initial reports were that his officers were lured in as some sort of gang initiation. They took advantage of their numbers, going up against two cops and they attacked quickly. His guys were unable to call for backup, but luckily for them - if you wanted to call any of it lucky - repeated issues at the complex drove a second unit to respond on the backend, albeit several minutes after the melee began. They put up a hell of a fight, but being ambushed by five gang members made it impossible to avoid injury. In the end, one assailant fled and four were detained. Meanwhile he had two cops - one his son - bloodied, beaten and in need of medical care. It caused them all a terrible scare, one they wanted to spare James. Although that might be difficult to do while still having to explain to a child why his father was injured.

"Is it bad?" James asked. The hospital had to mean it was.

"He's banged up - lots of scrapes and bruises, mainly - but he is going to be fine. It looks a lot worse than it is. Everything hurts right now, but it will pass." Somehow, Jamie managed to escape serious injury and gave just as good as he got.

James still wasn't sure. "He's really going to be okay?"

Frank's lips pressed into a tight smile and he held his gaze. "Would I lie to you?"

James sighed heavily. "I guess not."

"I would not," Frank swore to him with a stern shake of his head.

James nodded and turned to look out the window. He believed him, but now he felt worse.

"What's wrong, James? Aside from worrying about your dad, of course," Frank pressed. He got nothing but silence in return, but he was a patient man thanks to having raised four children. Frank waited until his grandson was ready to answer. He sensed there was something else he wanted to get off his chest related to the question he asked when he was first picked up.

"I didn't say goodbye to him today. I didn't talk to him at all because I got mad at him yesterday," he shared eventually, too ashamed to look at his grandfather as he withheld the worst part of it all.

"Did you two have a disagreement?" Frank asked.

He hesitated again, but eventually confessed. "I got mad because he canceled a trip mom said I could go on with my friends. I said," he paused, regretting what he did, but he felt like he had to get it off his chest even if it disappointed his grandfather too. "I said I hated him."

Frank's brows arched up, reminded of similar encounters with his own children. He knew how that went and although said in a heated moment between father and son, James didn't mean it. It would blow over, except that for a child, when they were still in the middle of a disagreement with a parent, it might seem like the end of the world. "Well…hate is a strong word, James. I know you don't hate him. He knows that too."

James was not convinced.

"Hey, these things happen between fathers and sons…and mothers and daughters and daughters and fathers, if I recall correctly. It happened with your Uncle Joe once that I can remember. Sometimes with your Aunt Erin and a lot with your Uncle Danny. Heck, these types of things still happen between your Uncle Danny and Aunt Erin to this day." Frank chuckled, knowing his two oldest children would be in their nineties and still find something to fight about.

"Not with my dad?" James asked, noting his grandfather left him out.

Frank grinned. "By the time your dad came around, your grandma and I were so worn out we let him do whatever he wanted."

"Really?!" James asked, shocked to hear that from his grandfather. Lucky! he thought.

"No, not really," Frank smirked.

"Oh."

"But with each kid we had, it seemed like the next was more level-headed and easy-going than the last. Your dad was our easiest kid and he was great at following rules. He didn't give us a lot of trouble."

James rolled his eyes. "He loves rules." Not that James had a whole lot to complain about with his dad, except this thing with the trip. But his emotions over that kept him from realizing how mindful he'd been about James' feelings when it came to inserting himself into his life.

That was his Jamie. "Yes, he does," Frank smiled. "But he's also a pretty reasonable guy and knows it's okay to bend them when needed. If he has rules in place for you that he's strict about, it's because he wants what's best for you."

James didn't respond, choosing to look out the window again. It wasn't what he wanted to hear anyway.

"Did you ask him why he canceled your plans?" Frank inquired.

"Yes," James drawled.

"And what did he say?"

"Because Branden's parents weren't going anymore, but someone else was, Grandpa. And all of my friends are still going."

"Who's the someone else you're talking about?" Frank asked.

"The lady that watches my friend and his sister," he said.

"Some sitter or nanny?" Frank asked with a raised brow.

"I guess." James deflated even further. He could see that even his grandfather had a problem with it too…must be a Reagan thing.

"I take it your mom met your friend's parents when she gave her permission?"

"Yeah. My mom's friends with his mom and dad."

"Has she met this other person? Has your dad?"

"I don't know about my mom, but…dad said he hadn't." He already knew that would keep his grandpa from backing him up.

"There's your reason why. I would have a hard time sending any of my kids away with a stranger. That's what she is to him. Your dad had to make a tough judgment call with your mom away. And even if she was here, he would feel the same way and let her know as much. It's what he thinks is best for you," Frank explained, but he recognized in James the same Reagan stubbornness that prevented them from listening to reason when emotions were still raw.

It wasn't the answer James wanted, but it wasn't what was bothering him the most anymore.

He turned to look at his grandfather and Frank was taken aback by the emotions on display, although he shouldn't be. He was his father's son, afterall.

"What if that was the last thing I said to him and something even worse happened today?" he asked.

So there it is, Frank thought. "Now why are you worrying about the what ifs? I told you, he's going to be fine."

"But seriously, Grandpa!" he exclaimed, flapping his arms out in frustration at himself.

Frank looked at him intently. "James, do you really think that's what he remembers when he thinks of you right now?"

James stared back for a few moments before shrugging wordlessly. "Maybe, but if something really bad happened, it's the last thing I said to him. It's what I would remember."

"He wouldn't. You learn from this and remember the power of words so you can do better next time."

James didn't reply to that, he didn't know how.

"He knows you love him and no words or disagreements are going to change that. It won't change his love for you," Frank assured him and continued in case he didn't believe him. "Do you know what he was worried about as the medics were taking him to the hospital?"

James shrugged.

"You," he said. "The first thing he brought up to us when Eddie and I saw him in the ER while all a mess and the doctors had just started checking him over was you."

James shifted in his seat, curious about the answer.

"He was more worried about you than himself - about someone getting you, about not having you see him in that condition and scaring you. Does that sound like someone who's mad at you?"

James looked down at his lap as he absorbed what he said. Eventually, he turned back to his grandfather. "I want to go home and see my dad."