Learning to Trust
"Why, what's the matter, That you have such a February face, so full of frost and storm and cloudiness?"
-William Shakespeare, Much Ado about Nothing
Chapter 10: February Face
It took Toshinori a little longer than he'd expected to fully bounce back. To his annoyance, Nezu seemed to have expected that. He gave Toshi a mandatory three days off for recovery before he was allowed to come back on campus.
Toshi didn't realize how serious the principal was until he tried to just slip in unnoticed on the afternoon of his first day off to "pick up more paperwork" and he found out that his temporary visitor's pass had been suspended until Monday. He would not be granted access beyond the UA Barrier until then.
After staring blankly at the impassible gates, he jammed his hand into his pocket and made an irritated phone call, pacing on the sidewalk just outside the gates.
As the phone rang, Toshi pulled up the collar of his long, tan trenchcoat to block the wind from his reddening ears. The sky was overcast and a sharp, cool spring breeze cut through the fabric of his clothing, freezing him to the bone. He held the phone to one ear and stuck his other hand into his deep coat pocket, trying to stay a little warmer.
Finally the phone was picked up on the other end. "Hello, All Might," issued the pleasant voice of the principal. "I hope you're resting well."
Toshinori glared up at the security camera trained on him. Nezu knew damned well where he was right now. "Why doesn't my pass work, sir?"
Nezu chuckled. "Because I knew you'd ignore my directives and try to come back." At Toshinori's silence, Nezu sighed, adding, "You need to rest, All Might. You've said yourself that you've been reduced to operating three hours per day as a pro. You're steadily growing weaker, by my calculations, losing about four hours of usable time each year. At this rate, you'll only be able to access One for All for a single school year at best."
Toshi huffed a frustrated sigh and resumed his pacing of the sidewalk. A fine drizzle had begun, and he hunched his shoulders against the cold. "That's not at all how it works, sir. I haven't been steadily losing anything. I've lost time here and there. There are other things at play that you aren't factoring in."
"But the end result is the same. No?"
"Not really. I lost most of my abilities at the beginning when I didn't treat my injuries well," Toshi snapped, feeling unnaturally short tempered due to the damp cold seeping into his aching bones. "I pushed myself too hard back then and I-I…" He stopped suddenly and dropped his forehead into his free hand as he realized what he'd just admitted. Fell right into his trap, didn't you, old man?
Nezu gave Toshi a moment to process before piping up, "So once you started resting your body and not pushing yourself so hard, your health improved and your quirk function levelled out? Is that it?" His voice remained neutral as always, but Toshi imagined he could hear a hint of laughter in it. At Toshinori's lack of response, the principal continued. "I'll keep that in mind. Now then, why is it you're here instead of resting, All Might?"
Wiping some of the collecting water from his gaunt face, Toshi finally just sighed and muttered, "I left my UA paperwork in the office. I figured I might as well take care of it while i'm 'resting.'"
"An excellent idea!" Nezu chirped brightly. "I'll email it to you. You can fill it out right on your laptop from bed if you would like. Is there anything else I can help you with before you head home?"
"...No, sir. That's all." As frustrated and annoyed as he was, Toshinori couldn't help but smile a little. What would people think if they knew how easily the world's Number One hero had been bested by a three foot tall rodent?"
"Good. I'll send it right over. And All Might?"
"Hm?"
A little warmth crept into Nezu's voice. "I know that you are already dealing with too many limiters. My rules probably seem to be unnecessary hindrances, but I promise that I have your best interests at heart. You aren't used to following someone else's orders, but we aren't at your agency now, All Might. You are essentially at mine. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Now go home before you catch a cold. I'll make you stay away an extra week if that happens."
Toshinori's lips twitched into another small smile. "What happened to consequences versus punishment, sir?"
Nezu seemed delighted at these words, laughing brightly. "I've said it before. I'm not as altruistic as you are, All Might. I'm willing to ban you from the school for a month if necessary." His voice softened. "But really, it is for your own good. I'd like to put off that impending death sentence as long as possible. I can't force you to take care of yourself, but I can remove some of your more self-destructive options." He continued over Toshinori's self-righteous sputtering. "Rest. Consider, at least, leaving hero work to the local professionals, so they can earn their own paychecks. Come back on Monday with enough food and medicine for emergencies."
"Sir, I-"
"And you're to check in with Recovery Girl at least once per week for a health evaluation. I don't care what day you choose. You'll need to work that out with her."
"I hardly think that's necessary-"
"I talked her down from daily checkups. You should thank me."
"I appreciate that, sir, but-"
"I want you at my school, All Might. Understand that. Had you come when I asked five years ago, you'd have few requirements from me. But you didn't. And now you need something from me. It may seem underhanded, but I will use your need for a successor as a bartering chip if it means extending your life." His voice became brisk again. "Now, I've got another call. I'll email those files to you soon. Go home, All Might. Rest." With those words, Nezu hung up, leaving Toshinori standing in stunned silence in the ever-increasing rain.
He decided to walk home rather than call a cab. The rain wasn't that bad, and he needed time to think.
Is this what it's going to be like at UA? People continually involving themselves as though I always need some sort of help? I'm not an invalid. He winced slightly at that. Not yet, at least. Not that he planned on living long enough for that to become a problem…
Nezu seemed to be missing the point of this anyway: Find a successor. That's it. No one needs to worry about me. I'm fine. I can manage my health. It's One for All I'm worried about. And the teaching, of course…
He stared at the cement of the sidewalk, deeply in thought, absently watching the way his shoes splashed heavily through the puddles. There was a deep rumble in the distance. A flickering in the western sky. Although it was only around two o'clock, the sky already looked black.
Then the rain began falling heavier while he walked. Fat drops came down hard and fast now, pelting his coat and stinging his skin where it was exposed. Already his coat had darkened two shades and was growing heavy. Soon the water would seep through and chill him to the bone.
Toshinori sighed heavily, pulling his soggy blue scarf tighter around his neck and brushing back the messy blond hair that was fast becoming plastered to his forehead.
He was starting to regret his rash decision to walk. As much as he wanted to speed up and hurry home, he couldn't. This morning, he'd worked for several hours tracking a villain who'd apparently broken out of jail that morning. It had been a long, fruitless search with the police that had turned up nothing and had used up too much of his time. Now he was trapped in this weak form, and if he sped up too much, he'd have to keep stopping anyway to catch his breath. Not to mention that his joints had started aching as well.
Pathetic…
Toshinori skimmed the road. In this area, there wasn't much traffic. What I wouldn't give for a cab and some coffee right now…
As if the fates had smiled upon him, he suddenly saw the reflection of headlights from behind him flash off of a nearby street sign. He glanced back hopefully and then sighed. Not a cab. Just a regular citizen. Oh well…
But to his surprise, the sleek silver vehicle slowed down beside him and stopped. The passenger window rolled down as the car idled, and the driver leaned toward him, gave him a once-over, and asked, "Need a lift?" Her voice sounded familiar.
Toshinori bent to peer in the window and squinted at her through the rain. Black hair in a messy bun on top of her head. Glasses perched on her nose. The rest of her covered in a thick, bulky red sweater. She was alone in the vehicle. That made up his mind for him. Reluctantly, he smiled and replied gently, "Thank you, miss, but I couldn't possibly impose."
She chuckled at that. "Get in the car, Yagi-san. It's not really a request. You're going to catch pneumonia out there." Suddenly he recognized the voice. It was Midnight. She looked so different when she was this… covered.
"Kayama-san." He bowed politely. "I didn't recognize you. I apologize." Still he didn't budge.
She arched a black eyebrow. "Get in out of the rain or I'll use my quirk and abduct you."
Something about her voice made it difficult to tell if she was kidding. He scurried inside at those words and shut the door behind him.
She looked him up and down. "You're a mess, Yagi-san. How does a man your age not know how to come in out of the rain? It's only going to get worse out there, you know."
As if on cue, the rain began dropping in buckets, sounding like a cascade of ball bearings being dumped on the roof of the car.
She put the car back into drive and cautiously began easing back out into the lane. Toshinori turned to check for cars, trying to help, but it was next to useless. Visibility was nearly zero now.
"If I didn't know he was in jail, I'd think this was Floodgate's doing," she muttered under her breath.
"It could be," Toshi replied thoughtfully. "He broke out of jail this morning. Last I heard, he was still at large. The police force is hunting him down."
She sent him a quizzical look. "What were you doing all morning, stalking the police on a scanner?"
He laughed. "All Might was involved in this one. He thought I should know about it, since I'm currently stationed here. That's all," he replied quickly.
"I see." Kayama's expression was sour. "So he's in town, but couldn't bother stopping at the school for five minutes?" She sighed at Toshinori's stricken expression and changed the subject. "Nevermind. It's not your fault." She glared out at the rain. "Natural or not, though, I'd like to get us parked and inside before we float away or get into an accident. There's a coffee shop not too far from here. I'll try to get us there. At least we can get dry and warm. And that way if this is Floodgate's doing, and I'm called in to deal with that guy, I won't risk leaving you in his path."
Toshinori shook his head, insisting, "You don't need to worry about me, Kayama-san. Really. I'll be fine."
She snorted, driving slowly, squinting to see through the downpour. "So says the man who decided to take a walk during a rainstorm."
The faint red and white glow of a neon sign was suddenly visible as a blurry outline a short distance ahead of them. "Aha! There we go!" She carefully followed the light and pulled up to park.
Toshi smiled at her, finally relaxing a bit. Midnight had been one hero he'd been most pointedly avoiding-mostly because she frankly made him uncomfortable-but also because he knew she was Nezu's staff recruiter, and she'd been the first to openly criticize All Might at the meeting. He'd wanted time to familiarize himself with some of the others first-maybe even get their impressions of her-before dealing with her directly. But now she seemed more approachable. Toshinori was starting to feel like maybe he'd been wrong about her.
"Here's our stop. Let's dry off and get something to drink." She shot him a devious grin. "Anyway, since you've been avoiding me, this seems like the perfect chance to discuss a few things about your absentee boss coming to my school…"
Then again, maybe I was right…
There. Done. Nezu hummed contentedly to himself as he shut his laptop. He'd completed scanning the paperwork into the system, modifying it to allow typed responses, and had finally forwarded it, along with a form he'd just put together requiring weekly physicals for All Might, as promised. The form was as much to keep Recovery Girl from pestering Toshinori as it was to keep All Might alive and in passable health for as long as possible.
The principal sighed. But honestly, if he didn't do something about the man's psychological well-being soon, it wouldn't matter much anyway. He needed healthy socialization. People who could understand trauma and empathize and who could support him. People to remind him that he, too, was a person worth saving.
He needed friends.
Nezu rhythmically tapped his paw against the dark wood of his desk and gazed out the window. Rain lashed viciously at the glass. Thunder rumbled ominously. He hoped Kayama had found Toshinori by now. She'd seemed a little too eager for the job, but once he'd realized that the man wasn't going to call a cab, he hadn't really had time to pick and choose. Anyway, Nezu knew she had questions for Toshinori about All Might, and that was part of the reason he'd come here undercover in the first place.
A loud clap of thunder boomed overhead and the sky flashed, all wild violence and chaos. It was as though the weather itself had decided to give Nezu a firsthand visualization of the inside of Toshinori's troubled mind. He absently poured himself some tea.
What went wrong, Toshinori? When did you stop trusting yourself and others? Was it the injury or were you always like this, just better at hiding it?
His thoughts were scattered by a curt knock on the door.
"Come in."
The door swung inward and Aizawa slipped in, firmly shutting it behind him.
"Eraserhead." Nezu motioned for the teacher to come and sit. "How can I help you?"
Aizawa approached the desk, but remained standing. His eyes were bloodshot-whether from exhaustion or overuse of his quirk, Nezu couldn't be sure. "I'll only be a minute." He glanced away, seeming to gather his thoughts, and then stated in a firm voice, "I have concerns about All Might as a teacher."
"You've mentioned this before, Eraserhead," Nezu replied calmly. "Is there a particular reason you're reiterating it now?"
"I've spoken with Yagi-san about it. Even he agrees with me."
Of course he would. "I'm sure he does." Nezu looked Aizawa in the eye. "He's voiced his own concerns to me as well." Aizawa stiffened slightly at that, and Nezu continued seriously, "But there's something you need to understand about Yagi-san."
"Sir?"
"He's a poor judge of All Might's character. Especially his strengths. Yagi-san is a good man, and he knows All Might well. Too well. He's not a man easily fooled by any false bravado, so he's able to perceive chinks in a man's armor very easily." Nezu leaned forward. "The problem is that he knows All Might too well to be a fair judge, honestly. He only sees the flaws now."
Aizawa was clearly not satisfied with that answer. His eyes flashed. "Or perhaps Yagi is seeing what everyone else wants to ignore. That All Might is an impressive hero, but still a human who isn't actually the best at everything." He paused thoughtfully. "You're planning on filling Cyclone's position in Foundational Hero Studies with All Might, aren't you?" Aizawa began pacing. "You know there are any number of better choices."
"Such as?" Nezu took a sip of his tea.
The tall, dark-haired hero walked away, stopped at one wall of the office lined with old framed photographs. He stared unseeingly at them for a long silent moment. Finally, he stated quietly, "Why not hire Yagi instead?"
Nezu's head tilted curiously and he set his cup back down, honestly surprised. "Why would I hire All Might's office worker?"
Aizawa snorted at that. "I know he's not an office worker. He's an old pro. A brawler, I'm guessing. Probably used to work with All Might himself on missions years ago. I'm sure if I did a little homework, I could figure out who he is, but that's not really what matters."
"What does matter, then?"
"He's been through hell. Sure, we all have, but his work nearly killed him. He knows how dangerous this job is. He may be the only person here who can actually show the students what happens when something goes wrong. That it isn't always a quick, clean death."
Nezu's expression gave away nothing, but his mind rapidly processed this new information. "How did you come to deduce all of that?" he asked carefully.
"I guessed some of it. He told me the rest."
"Now that's an unexpected development," Nezu murmured thoughtfully, picking up and sipping again at his tea.
Aizawa half turned to look at the principal. "Sir?"
"I know Yagi-san quite well. He is not normally a trusting man. He's extremely trustworthy. Loyal to a fault. But he doesn't actually put his trust in many others with his own secrets. I'm honestly surprised he told you anything."
Aizawa's voice remained flat and impassive, but there was a flash of interest in his eye that Nezu didn't miss. "I'd already guessed. He didn't really need to tell me much."
"He didn't need to tell you anything, but it sounds like he at very least confirmed your suspicions. It sounds like you've managed to earn his respect. Congratulations."
Aizawa snorted again at that and turned away from the pictures on the wall, walking back to the desk. "Whatever. So he trusted me with a few irrelevant details about his life. It doesn't matter. I'm just saying he'd be a good choice. You have options. Yagi can teach the kids what they actually need to know about this job. He's smart. He cares."
"And you think All Might doesn't?"
Aizawa snorted in disgust. "All Might will make the students believe heroes are as invincible as they think he is. And he'll prioritize his hero work. You know he will. But Yagi is basically retired, so that won't be a problem."
"He told you he's retired?"
Aizawa's expression wavered slightly. "No." His voice softened. "But he's dying. I can tell. Even if he isn't retired, he won't be able to fight much longer. At least working here might give him a reason to take care of himself."
"You're worried about him, Eraserhead."
The other man didn't answer before stating simply, "That's what we do, isn't it?" He shrugged. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. If you do decide to offer Yagi a place here, I'll help him out if he needs it."
"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."
Aizawa simply nodded, and, after excusing himself, left the room as abruptly as he'd entered.
Nezu stared across the office at the pictures that Aizawa's unfocused gaze had been drawn to, a small smile playing on his lips as he spotted a faded photograph from an old UA Sports Festival. A blond boy grinned and waved his gold medal while others around him shared in his joy. All were smiling, but that boy's grin was something special. Nezu found that his own smile grew just by looking at it. Well, Toshinori, he thought gently. Congratulations to you, too. For a man who feels he can't connect, you seem to have won over Aizawa just by being yourself.
Author's note: Thank you to lolo popoki as always for her awesome beta work and for encouraging me to keep writing when I think my chapter sucks! :D
Also, thank you to everyone who reads and comments. I really appreciate all of your support. I hope you keep enjoying the story.
Sincerely,
Sirius:)