Ron the True Fan: (Shai-hu-Gib emerges from the sands) I HAVE TASTED THE COSMOS!
Takeshi Yamato: *chuckles* Got nommed by the ginormous sand shark, eh?
Ron the True Fan: GIBLE EXPANDS CONSCIOUSNESS! (Shai-hu-Gib makes a massive 'GIB!')
Takeshi Yamato: …Ooookaaaay…
Indigo Plateau, Kanto Region, 0945 hours local time, Day 198 of Ash Ketchum's Pokemon Journey
Politics. Sucked.
It was a mercy that Lance just let him loose throughout the building, but it had been almost three days and it was meeting after meeting!
He REALLY missed his old life. …That brought him back to the subject of stabbing Cyrus in the face with a pencil.
That was a dark image, but after all the suffering he caused and the deaths he was responsible for, he was WELL beyond deserving worse.
"You'd rather be training your Pokemon, wouldn't you?" came the voice of Bruno, Ash chuckling at the question as the fighting master approached the balcony he was on.
"Honestly, yes." Ash said. "Or getting ready for Johto in other ways."
"Wise." Bruno replied. "Johto is not as soft as Kanto. But you would be well prepared, given you went through Orre."
Ash had not suffered a defeat in an official battle. Hell, even that thing with the insane demi-god Sabrina was more him outwitting her then anything.
But Bruno saw the strain on the boy. He knew his secret - all of them did - so he had the fate of the world on his shoulders.
And that prideful bitch Cynthia wouldn't let them deal with Cyrus. …Maybe having her Gible back would change things.
"We could let you have access to the facilities." Bruno suggested, the almost boyish look in Ash's eyes lighting up. Gaffery had suggested playing to his Pokemon-focused mind to releive his stress.
According to Oak's own reports, almost every one of Ash's original team were training on a daily basis, putting themselves on par with Elite Four level Pokemon. Well, early term Elite Four. And in six months! The Ketchum and Sakai genes blended in a way that made him thankful Ash would never think to usurp Lance.
Lance was a commander, spending more time behind the line then in front.
Ash was a warrior-general, in the fray, all the time.
And that made Ash more dangerous.
Still, that made this little idea…a good one.
"You did win the last conference." the fighting master said, prompting a curious look from Ash. "You know what that means."
"I didn't win it. Cipher crashed the party and…" Ash shook his head. "Richy, the poor kid…"
"We are not needlessly cruel, Ash." Bruno said. "You would have defeated him. That is certain. That is why we let you turn it into a training bout. There is no honor in crushing a weak enemy."
"Don't remind me." Ash groused. "I destroyed Pokemon Tech and they weren't even a real challenge. It was so…hollow. What the hell are they up to now? I haven't seen them since Cinnabar."
"They're in Orre, serving as intermediaries between the URN and Rotan forces there." the Elite said. "It was either that or prison after their vigilante spree against Team Rocket came to an end. We only put up with your chaos because you don't actively seek it out. It finds you."
Ouch. Harsh, but not inaccurate.
While Ash did intend to confront the bigger problems…he really didn't ASK to be attacked on the Olympic or the Sabrina thing. Or the Silph Co thing. Hell, other then tearing the guts out of the Mirage Pokemon program, even the things he PLANNED on dealing with he still didn't run into intentionally.
"I still didn't earn my way to the finals." Ash said, somewhat depressed. "I've gotten enough handouts. And I'm sick of them."
His first badge was a goddamn handout. Almost EVERY badge in Kanto was a handout. Erika's Gloom, the WAterflower thing with the vacuum, even his battle with Koga to a point.
He preferred to earn his victories. Even as hollow as some of them in this timeline were now, they were still earned and not handed out.
"I really don't-"
"You've got to!" came the voice of Max, who ran onto the overlook. "You earned your way up! Come on!"
Bruno raised an eyebrow. "You've been listening." he stated.
Max chuckled. "You weren't being silent." the young man said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck like Ash used to very often.
How Ash missed those days.
"Besides, no one's gotten past Lorelei in almost five years!" Max said. "You might get to Lance!"
"We might have training sessions, but we're getting better at taking Lance down a peg or two." Bruno said, Ash giving him a look. "When you keep fighting the same people for years, you get better at dealing with them."
New experiences. Ash couldn't argue with that.
But that nagging feeling of 'I didn't earn it' needled his mind.
(The things in his head kept pushing that line of reasoning.)
Still…
"Why not?" he finally said, ignoring that thought. "At least it's better then sitting through those meetings."
"Especially since we all know you won't change the agreements." Bruno said. "Why change something that works?"
"Seven years and now you FINALLY get to do what you should've gotten to do the first time!" Misty exclaimed. "That referee was a jackass: seriously, clear outside interference should've gotten the match rescheduled!"
"They could've been bribed by Team Rocket." Kyoji said, giving a knowing glare at the TRio.
"That wasn't us!" Butch and Cassedy protested.
"You're still Rockets. You might be wearing the Royal Rotan Guard uniforms, but you're STILL Rockets." Kyoji retorted dryly. "You know, with all the temporal bullshit, maybe Cyrus did that, too."
"What a remarkably petty bastard." Neesha said before clapping Ash on the back. "Can't wait to see what you can do against the Elite Four! Your Charizard took on all of Mewtwo's 'perfect' clones with ease: maybe you'll hand Lance his ass!"
Ash scoffed. "I didn't even get to the semifinals." he said. "I doubt Lance is going to be easy."
Kyoji looked at Ash. "Dude, you're a military genius. You have a general outline and plan and then you let your troops act on their own initiative, only correcting when you see an opening or a flaw." he explained. "If you were in the Ranseian armed forces, you'd easily make general."
Ash never thought of it like that. He was so far removed from a military setting, he never even considered being a trainer was enough to qualify for military training.
Were they all child soldiers like Robin in different ways?
"Commanding Pokemon and people are markedly different." came the voice of a less…familiar girl before Ash put his finger on it. Lovrina. Or Lacus now.
He wasn't that forgetful. Sometimes he pretended to be.
But he remembered the Cipher Admin who set off that nuke.
"Lacus!" Kyoji said happily, waving her over to the table they were all sitting at. "They finally let you go?"
"They gave me a job." she said. "Apparently I'm good at running spy rings, so they put me in charge of ALL the URN spy rings. Left the old job, went right back to the same stuff in the new job."
"Sorry for ruining your life." Ash said dryly.
"On the contrary, I should be thanking you." Lacus said. "Cipher was insane. But your Aura broke their conditioning."
Kyoji rose an eyebrow. "You spent more time with me at Indigo then Ash. You never fought him."
"And you spent HOW long around him?" she retorted.
Kyoji facepalmed before they heard a loud sound of ramjets.
CHOMP!
"Gible!" 'Hi!' cried the yellow land shark as he nommed on LAcus's head.
"Hello, you cute little land shark." she said, giggling before petting the yellow land shark, getting an eyesmile and a warble out of him. "Having fun without me?"
"Gible!" 'Regi music!' cried the shark before Kyoji paled.
"NOT AGAIN!" he cried before screaming in terror. "I CAN HEAR IT IN MY MIND!"
Ash just gave him a look while all the girls groaned in unison, Lacus remaining just as clueless.
"Do I want to know?" she asked. Ash shrugged helplessly in response.
"It just involves the Regis," he said.
"Oh, their little networking thing!" she said after a moment. "Do-do didi-"
Kyoji's scream was heard all the way in Pallet.
2 hours later - Elite 4 Arena Four
A massive swimming pool at least five times the size of an olympian one dominated the field, with massive platforms fashioned to look like icebergs floating on the service.
Lorelei sighed. Ash was going to destroy her pool. He destroyed two gyms, even if Blaine's actually saved the island. It was no secret Lorelei was technically the weakest of the Kanto Elite Four. Formidable, yes. Powerful, very.
But ice would break eventually. And she had never defeated Delia or Grimsley.
Grimsley at least she could handle.
Delia, like her brother, was a goddamn monster. Except WORSE. Beating her was impossible for anyone except champions. And even then, Lance had a hard time with her!
And her son was turning out to be her and her husband combined.
She was doomed. But it was better to face her doom with dignity. That said, the cost of rebuilding the place was going to doom their bank accounts.
Giovanni's Gym was a total loss.
The fiscal year was doomed. Ketchum was going to bankrupt them.
"Pikachu." 'So, do we destroy the place?' Pikachu asked.
"This place was made to survive the Elite Four if they went all out, Pikachu." ash retorted. "We're not going to do anything."
"Pika." 'Giovanni's gym.' Pikachu stated.
"That was a one off!" Ash protested.
We all know better. (WHACK!)
Regardless, as the trainer made his way to the door leading into the arena. Lorelei wore what looked like a businesswoman's suit whose sleeves were gone, her skirt was dangerously short and…she didn't seem to be wearing a shirt under that suit.
Ash was not impressed. If Lorelei was trying to distract him with her sex appeal, she was going to be sorely disappointed.
She was not only not his type, she was at least twice his age. Were it not for trying to be a good sport about this, he'd call her out on it. The cameras were another factor in him not saying anything.
"Welcome to the Pokemon League, Ash Ketchum." Lorelei greeted. "I am Lorelei Kanna."
"I know." Ash cut off. They'd met before on the Orange Islands during his time there. "I don't think you'd like ice puns."
"On the contrary, I do on occasion." Lorelei said with a smirk. "But it was ice of you not to open with one."
"Pika..." 'Arceus, that was HORRIBLE.' Pikachu said, facepalming.
Ash knew she had a few Pokemon. Her Cloyster was most memorable, though.
And he was not looking forward to it.
"First thing's first. Ice is one of the most destructive forces in the universe." Lorelei started. "And you're about to learn why!" at that, she tossed out a Pokeball, releasing her Dewgong, which dove into the water.
Ash then tossed out his own, which released one of the most unlikely of Pokemon for a fight like this.
Brown, angry and armed with a leek.
"Fetch." 'Too damn cold.' said the Farfetch'd, who then saw Dewgong in the water, his eyes going red and veiny.
Lorelei rose a confused eyebrow at the Pokemon in question. "A Farfetch'd?" she asked. "That's a very…unusual one. I've never seen a Farfetch'd in battle against me in…years."
She had NO idea what she was in for.
"Regardless, Dewgong, clip his wings!" she commanded, Dewgong jumping out of the water before ice formed in the seal's mouth.
"FETCH!" screamed the bird before launching at the sea lion, the unholy scream making Lorelei realize something.
This was a Galarian Farfetch'd. And they were notorious for two things.
Being blood-thirsty maniacs…
And being fighting-types.
The leek slammed into Dewgong's skull, audible cracking being heard despite the rage of the bird as Dewgong then fell into the water, attempting to fall back. There was a problem, however.
One does not simply run from a Galarian Farfetch'd.
"FFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" roared the bird as he dove in after Dewgong, the leek glowing with fighting-type energy as Dewgong swam away, barely keeping out of the bird's range.
Lorelei and Ash shared a look of… concern for Dewgong. "Why." she stated.
"Why what?" Ash asked, confused.
"WHY did it have to be Galarian?" she finished as Dewgong leaped out of the water, Fetchy hot on her ass.
"FETCH!" WHACK!
"GONG!" 'OW! MORE~!' cried Dewgong.
Ash's face turned from concerned to somewhat disgusted. "What." he stated flatly.
WHACK!
Lorelei noticed the look on Ash's face, then decided she DIDN'T want to know.
In fact, she was pretty sure Ash didn't want to know whatever it was, either.
"I have learned things I never wanted to know." Kyoji said as he watched Dewgong get whipped. And like it.
"Gible…" 'What is WRONG with that thing…' the land shark asked as he watched.
Misty looked at Kyoji, then decided to ask. "Something tells me it's not something we're going to like." she said.
"Those aren't cries of pain." Kyoji said flatly, getting looks of disgust from some of the girls…except Serena and oddly enough Iris.
Anabel blushed for some reason. "You have very twisted thoughts!" she accused of the two.
Iris chuckled sheepishly. "I've been hurt so much I actually kinda like it." she explained, getting looks from ALL persons except Serena, whose now-red eyes signalled who was in control.
"Oh, you and I are going to get along swimmingly~" the husky libido-driven voice of the personality known as 'Jade' said, making Robin hide behind Mei, who then hid behind Neesha.
"You are NOT using me as a virgin sacrifice." the Ranger Union native spat at them before Jade scoffed.
"Consent is EVERYTHING to me." the perverted personality said. "If it wasn't, Ash would already be a father."
"...She has a point." Anabel said.
"Keep. Her. Away." said both Orrean and Ranseian girls.
"You should be aware there is nothing I'm not into~" she said, smiling sweetly.
Gible was confused. "Gible?" 'What is she talking about?' he asked Kyoji.
"You don't want to know." the specops soldier said. "Humans are WEIRD."
"Gible!" 'But I LIKE weird!' cried the land shark.
"Not THIS kind of weird." Kyoji said while petting the shark.
Lorelei returned Dewgong after seeing the look on Ash's face reminded her of when she stumbled on her parents when she was roughly his age in the middle of actions she would rather forget herself.
Out of respect (and decency) she returned Dewgong, forfeiting the round, but it was better then seeing the mortified look on Ash's face.
"…I apologize for… whatever Dewgong was saying," she said.
"Not your fault. Every Pokemon's different." Ash said flatly.
"Fetch." 'Return me and I will make you regret it,' Fetchy said, making it clear that the only reason he bothered beating the pain-loving seal was… something Ash didn't know about, but the tone clearly screamed he only beat Dewgong because it was necessary.
Besides, it was clear he had eyes for Natu.
Lorelei then tossed out another ball, releasing Jynx, making Ash smile as he remembered the TRio being sent flying.
"Let's see if you can handle psionic power as well as ice!" Lorelei declared. "Ice Beam and Psychic!"
"Night Slash and Brick Break!" Ash countered, Fetchy understanding why. After all, it was drilled into his head by all of Ash's Pokemon.
'Listen to Ash. He only lets you do as you will because he trusts you, but when he sees something you don't…'
The implications were clear.
The leek glowed as Jynx fired off, STAB and type advantage cleaving the energy beam in two before the ghostly energy counteracted the psionic field, Fetchy launching at Jynx with his usual warcry.
Lorelei was impressed, given that was a move only experienced trainers would pull off. But Lorelei was not exactly green herself.
"Aurora Beam!" she commanded, Jynx forming the rainbow-colored energy in her hands before launching it out.
"Aerial Ace! Into the water!" Ash commanded, Lorelei being confused. Why would-
"Oh, well played." she said after a moment of thought, the bird slamming into the water and dodging the attack…then Aerial Acing again with a Brick Break-enhanced leek.
"FETCH!" cried Fetchy, before slamming the leek into Jynx's gut. Were it not for her already black skin, THAT was going to leave a mark.
Lorelei was impressed. The boy was a goddamn genius. No wonder Giovanni lost so thoroughly.
…Other then the gravity assisted drop from orbit his Charizard did.
And that was BEFORE Orre.
"Jy-" 'A little he-' Jynx never finished thanks to a brutal Night Slash and Brick Break combo, all delivered by one leek.
Lorelei would demand his return, but the bloodshot eyes hinted that was a STUPID IDEA.
"That was uncalled for!" Ash protested. "Seriously, that was completely unnecessary! You could've hurt Jynx doubling up like that!"
"Fetch'd." 'You have no idea how close I am to getting what I want.' the bird retorted. "Fetch…" 'One. More.'
Lorelei scowled, then tossed out another ball, this time being Slowbro, who was shockingly more alert then usual.
All Farfetch'd did was smirk.
"Your bird is evil." Lorelei said before refocusing. "Flamethrower!"
"Underwater!" Ash ordered, Lorelei wondering if Ash was TRYING to drown the bird before remembering flamethrower couldn't get any deeper then a few millimeters at most into water.
And Farfetch'd knew Aerial Ace and would use it to get back to the surface!
Cue wet, angry bird rocketing out of the water, Slowbro screaming as he tumbled, but not before another Night Slash slammed into his back, a crack signalling a critical hit before a water jet cut through the leek, which… only made him smirk.
"Fetch!" 'Victory is mine!' cried the bird as he landed on a platform, Ash not getting it before Fetchy began glowing.
"Farfetch'd evolves?!" he exclaimed. "HOW?!"
"You didn't know?" Lorelei said. "Right, regional subtype."
Ash just pulled out his Pokedex, hoping he would get a better answer as Fetchy's form, while remaining similar to normal Farfetch'd, gained a leaf-like shield in his left… hand, for lack of a better term, the leek straightened out and gained a sword-like point and looked more… regal.
The glow faded, revealing a white duck instead of dark brown and looked a LOT calmer.
The Pokedex scanned the creature before supplying a name and biography. "Sirfetch'd, the Wild Duck Pokémon and evolved form of Galarian Farfetch'd." the Porygon in the minicomputer stated. "Known only to evolve from Galarian Farfetch'd after performing at least three critical hits in one bout of combat and far calmer then their pre-evolved states due to chemical rebalancing in their brain, similar to Charizard and Sharpedo. When the leek rots, the Sirfetch'd will retire from battle, but some are known to be so combat-addicted, they will seek a new leek."
"That makes more sense then it should." Ash said as the new Sirfetch'd gave a bow, the rage… held back.
"Fetch'd." 'That took far longer then I would like.' the Sirfetch'd said. "Sir." 'Do you have any idea how many of us would fight just for this relief?'
Slowbro clambered up to a platform, a nasty purple bruise on the water-type's back. "Slow…" 'That. Hurt.' the Pokemon declared.
"Sirfetch'd." 'My apologies.' the bird said, getting Slowbro to give him a nasty look. "Fetch." 'When you have uncontrollable rage that can only be quelled by evolution, would you not seek it?'
Slowbro groaned. "Bro…" 'My brain works faster then it did when I was a Slowpoke, so I kinda get it…' the pink hippo said, before collapsing on the platform.
"…I think we're done with that one." Lorelei said, returning Slowbro while Ash returned Sirfetch'd to his ball. "Your Pokemon are monsters."
"Isn't Pokemon a contraction of 'pocket monster'?" Ash asked. "Because of the Pokeball?"
Lorelei sighed. "I'm going to need to trip you up more." she said before sending out another ball, releasing a Lapras of all things.
"Oh, this is going to make me feel bad." Ash said, before sending out his own at random.
Which turned out to be Lucario, who looked at the water, then at Ash. "Car…" 'I'll try not to fall in. No one likes wet dog.' he said.
Lance winced at the feed. That bird was ANGRY.
But Galarian Farfetch'd always were.
Charmeleon had the same issue, among others. Sharpedo were unfortunate to retain their previous state's reputation for brutality. Shame: he knew colonies of the sharks that were very friendly if you weren't dangerous. You'd still get chomped on, but it would be a friendly one.
Like with Gibles.
Damn things were always sharking about and being cute about it.
Regardless, Lorelei was getting her ass kicked. Farfetch'd were angry birds, but this one had been under the care of Ash, whose Pokemon were at the least early Elite Four level, constantly training to improve themselves for combat and their trainer was no slouch in the art of command.
Of course, Lorelei wasn't doing herself any favors. Ice had too many weaknesses to exploit.
Cut by steel, shattered by fists or melted by fire. He'd defeated Lorelei a hundred times in spite of her type advantage over his because dragons could learn the abilities of fighting, fire and steel.
She wasn't an easy mark.
That didn't mean she was going to WIN against Ash.
Sabrina winced. Kyoji noticed as Lorelei returned Lapras, only to have some odd Sandslash take the field.
"Something wrong?" Kyoji asked.
"Only that I got a sense of sadistic glee from Ash." she said flatly. "Not in his character."
"Don't we know it." Kyoji replied. Sadist? Ash? He might take enjoyment in victory, but not in the suffering of anyone that didn't outright deserve it.
Hunter J was the biggest example. He would've preferred her to live in a prison cell for the rest of her days, but he wasn't going to lose any sleep over the fact she was dead.
And Pokemon? He would NEVER enjoy their suffering, even if they were complete, utter assholes.
Mewtwo, he felt sorry for.
"That thing that was in you?" he asked. "Or the King of Pokelantis?"
"The latter." she said. "He was always a sadist."
They REALLY needed to talk to Giratina about removing the damn thing from his head. This was effectively something occupying someone who was effectively his brother's head rent-free. Literally.
The familial relationship between the Neverborn and the Creation Trio was muddy. They'd have to clear that up.
But HOW to summon forth the Lord of the Dead from his realm would be another problem. Giratina hadn't left the Distortion Realm since the creation of Zygarde, ashamed of what happened with his eldest child.
No reason to hide anymore, but…as Ash's reluctance to be romantic showed, guilt was a powerful motivator.
Then they noticed something off to the side.
Mei was staring into her Natu's unblinking eyes. Never a good sign.
"Would you be my starter?" she said aloud, getting a look from Kyoji.
The Priestesses were NEVER trainers.
Cloyster sank beneath the waves, Pikachu and Ash feeling REALLY sorry about that one from the winces on their faces.
"Well executed." Lorelei grit out. "Perfect use of type advantage. Just like your mother."
"I didn't want to have type advantage." Ash said. "I just picked all but one Pokemon at random."
"…Another trait from your parents, in this case, your father." Lorelei said, still somewhat annoyed that she lost. Not even her Alolan Sandslash tripped him up!
Regardless, he proved his ability.
Even if she didn't like it.
She'd have to up her game. But Ash learned everything he knew from his mother, who she NEVER defeated.
Well, she was an instructor first and an Elite Four second.
"Bruno awaits. Don't take too long." Lorelei said, perhaps a little too spitefully.
He didn't cheat. He didn't do anything other then prove his abilities in a battle. She had no reason to be angry.
…No logical reason.
But Lorelei would not act like a child who had her favorite toy taken away.
15 minutes later, Ash was resisting every instinct to have Pokemon in his team that countered fighting and rock-types.
He just went automatically picked what he thought best… which he then used to rip Lorelei apart with.
He hated that. He WANTED to earn his victories.
"Pika." 'He's not going to take it personally.' Pikachu said. "Pi." 'He might even be expecting it.'
"And I don't WANT to." Ash retorted. "It was too easy to just give in to just using type-advantage. It just felt too easy."
"Pikapi." 'Ash, your Pokemon train EVERY DAY. Ceaselessly!' Pikachu stressed. "Pika!" 'We might even BE at the same level as the Elite Four!'
He considered that. But how easy she beat Lorelei. "I'm going to use Pokemon I know are weak to Bruno's team." he stressed. "If I'm going to win, it's going to be in spite of the type chart, not because of it. I don't want to be Paul."
Pikachu gave him a look. "Pikapi." 'Ash, you don't treat us like tools. Even at your worst, you're better then Paul is, was and always shall be at his best.' he said. "Pi." 'Your mistakes are honest and you let us be who we are. Paul forces his Pokemon to be a stereotype.'
Ash couldn't deny that.
"I'm still going to handicap myself." Ash said with finality. "I want to feel like I earned it."
Even though he really DID.
Of course, to those in the know, the real cause was deeper and inside Ash's mind, using his own insecurities and feeding them.
It didn't matter how strong Ash's will was against external forces if he was being attacked from within.
"That was great! You kicked Lorelei's butt!" Max said, not knowing Ash wasn't exactly happy with how seemingly EASY it was.
His Pokemon might argue with that. Ash was aware. But that didn't stop the nagging feeling. Thus his conscious choice to swap out and go type-disadvantage against Bruno.
He looked around, noticing something…missing. "Where's Serena?" he asked.
"She went out for a walk." Mei said, staring into her Natu's eyes.
"…Should she be doing that?" Ash asked, concerned.
"Some do nothing but stare into the eyes of the birds all day." Kyoji said, shrugging. "They think it'll result in a vision by Arceus. The birds ARE their messengers."
"That explains Anabel." Ash said dryly, reminded of how the Natu that joined him brought him to Saffron.
Bruno could wait a bit.
Ron the True Fan: And you all can wait a VERY long while. I am disappointed in this chapter, but given the pace of demands, I felt pressured to deliver. Enjoy my early birthday gift to you all, because I'm not happy with it. Lorelei's fight was mostly off-text because I couldn't put myself into it. Might not be Cross, but I do at least make some sense. No codex entry for the same reason. I'll fix THAT when I'm in the mood. Right now, I am NOT a happy Gible.
Takeshi Yamato: And I'm just the beta reader at this point. Let Ron take a damn break, people!
(Shai-hu-Gib noms before sharking away)
Takeshi Yamato: …can't really argue with that.
Ja ne!