Ron the True Fan: Get ready for a SURPRISE!
Takeshi Yamato: Temporal bullshit. WHY IS IT ALWAYS TEMPORAL BULLSHIT?! (Headwalling commences)
Ron the True Fan: …Why am I the only one who doesn't get headaches from this?
Ilex forest - Johto Region - 1748 hours local time - Day 452 of Ash Ketchum's Journey
Guns. Ash hated them. Kyoji was starting to understand why. Getting shot at by them sucked. 14.5mm rounds hit the dirt and the trees, keeping him from leaving cover.
After humans started moving on from Pokemon as weapons of war, those heavy guns were used to punch through tank armor. EARLY tank armor. They were still pretty useful against people and some Pokemon.
Especially Gibles. They were the bane of armored forces. And Kyoji's was hiding, the only thing poking out being his fin, which had a big hole in it as he shook in pain and fear.
Needless to say, Kyoji WASN'T happy.
The bastard's Scizor was duking it out with his Charizard, along with Iris' recently evolved and VERY pissed off Dragonite, countering speed with numbers, as Anabel's Metang helped to bracket the steel-coated bug.
The Sneasel was another story. The ice-type was smaller, if slower. Perfect for smaller fire-types to fight as a Chimchar latched onto his back, using Embers to irritate the weasel Pokemon before a Chameleon and two Charmanders, one a bright orange, tackled him.
Tyranitar was the bigger problem. Then again… Pseudo-legendaries were called that for a fucking REASON. All of Misty's water-types were pounding it with water attacks, but it was a big, hardy Pokemon. None of her Pokemon were out of shape, certainly, but they also weren't Ash's team, who had a borderline-unhealthy obsession with working out and learning new attacks.
To be fair to them, they were the Pokemon of a trainer that was the Chosen of Arceus. They knew it was better to be overpowered and underpowered.
Misty's newly evolved Politoed was learning this little problem firsthand.
Kyoji took advantage of Vicious reloading his weapon to poke his head out of cover and fire at him, 9mm rounds plinking off his heavy body armor and delaying the reload.
And pissing him off.
Kyoji took this opportunity to grab Gible and RUN.
His Charizard grabbed Scizor from behind, fire blazing on the fangs before she bit down.
"TYRANITAR, BURN THIS FOREST DOWN!" Vicious demanded as he resumed fire. "IF I CAN'T HAVE THAT DAMN PIXIE, I'LL MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE DOES!"
"You're going to burn down an entire forest and kill hundreds of thousands of Pokemon and people just because you didn't get what you want?!" Anabel demanded, ducking under the bullets. "What is WRONG with you?!"
"Power is the only thing that matters in this world, you stupid bitch!" the iron-armored asshole declared. "And the power over time is the greatest power of all! With time travel, I could rule the world in all times! All regions! THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!"
Neesha and Kyoji looked at each other. "He's fucking insane." she said to her boyfriend.
"I got that." Kyoji said simply before Tyranitar spewed out a beam of energy that was barely sent skyward by a blow from Misty's Gyarados slamming into the massive kaiju Pokemon and knocking him to the ground.
"We can't keep this up!" Serena exclaimed as her Sylveon joined the attack on Tyranitar.
"I will not be denied!" yelled the mad Rocket before he suddenly froze. Then a blade of white hot plasma was shoved through his chest.
Kyoji recognized it. That was the blade he gave to-
"Eat shit and DIE." snarled a VERY pissed off Ash Ketchum, who pulled the blade out and shoved him off the walker. "That's for BOTH times, you son of a bitch!"
As the man fell to the ground, everyone looked up to see Ash, who… wasn't wearing his trademark outfit. Instead, it looked like something from the past. Kyoji thought for a few seconds Ash looked like a Ranseian merchant from ages past, mixed in with the light leather armor of an ashigaru, the foot soldiers of Ransei and Nihon past, though the chest armor looked like it went through eleven kinds of hell and the shoulder guards were gone.
For them, he'd only been gone for a few minutes. He'd clearly spent a lot more time in what he assumed was the past then a few minutes, with a massive bag on his back, his backpack, looking a little worse for wear, hanging from his left hand, the plasma blade held in the right.
The Tyranitar turned to face them, right before getting hit with a multicolored beam of light and shoved into the lake before the elegant form of Suicune leapt onto the battlefield, looking very disgusted.
'I see I was needed after all.' said the water hound.
"Don't rub it in." Ash groused, more out of tiredness than annoyance, as Kyoji saw Pikachu barely hanging onto his shoulder, panting.
"Pika." 'I want to hate Arceus more than ever.' said the electric mouse. "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaa…" 'I also want to hate Cynthia…'
"You and me both." Ash muttered as Kyoji's Celebi emerged from the big bag, looking very tired, with Ash opening the Ultra Ball containing his own Celebi, who still looked like shit.
Vicious coughed, trying to crawl away. "Cele… bi…" he moaned.
Ash looked to the mythical Pokemon he caught a while back. "He tried to turn you both into monsters." he said. "His fate's in your hands. I hate him… but you're the real victims."
"Bi." 'I know he was trying to be mean, but… can't we make him nicer?' Kyoji's more naive Pokemon asked. "Bi…" 'Maybe…'
"Bri." 'No. You KNOW what he's going to say.' Ash's older, more pissed off pixie declared. "Bi." 'No time travel. You already messed up once, accident or not. He dies. He's too much of a threat. And maybe news of his demise will discourage the NEXT idiot.'
Kyoji pet Gible, who made a pathetic 'Gib' as Kyoji wrapped the fin up in bandages. Once he was sure sharky's fin was safe, he prepared to pull out a shotgun to blast the bastard in the face.
No one hurt Gible.
ANY Gible.
But Kyoji was revenge blue-balled as vines wrapped around the man, coiling around his legs, arms and chest, slowly inching upwards before some constricted against his fingers, pinching them so tightly the steel armor bent and bones snapped.
…Ok, let Celebi do it.
Slower and more painful that way.
"Personally, you're one of the few people I don't want to have a second chance. You can't be redeemed." Ash said, cold fury in his voice. "You can only be stopped. And there is only one way to stop you."
It was hard to stomach as the man was pieced with vines and dragged underground, fear and terror in his eyes. Ash kept his eyes on the man as he was dragged under.
Ash was both directly and indirectly responsible for his death. He had no right to look away.
And he knew it.
"Holy shit." Misty muttered. "What happened to you?"
"Nine. Months." Ash said. "I spent NINE. FUCKING. MONTHS in ancient Sinnoh, had to deal with a crazy jackass thinking he was the Chosen of Arceus-"
"Satoshi-kun?"
Every veteran girl perked up at that voice. Freightened, unsure…
Familiar.
"Koko wa doko nan da? kore wa nan da?" asked a very unsure, beautiful bluenette with equally deep blue eyes, standing up on the mech, tapping on it.
"Arceus fucking hates me…" Ash muttered before . "Hikari, ochitsuite. Tanomu? Yo watakushi wa subete o setsumei suru koto ga dekimasu ga, anata wa dō yatte koko ni kita no ka oshiete kudasai."
"Watakushi-tachi wa sanchō ni ita." the girl, who was MADDENINGLY familiar, replied, scared, holding her hands over her heart. "Anata wa Arceus-kyō to hanashite ita. Sore kara Dialga-kyō ga unatte. . . Watakushi-tachi wa koko ni ita…"
Ash facepalmed. "Sore wa subarashī koto da." he seemingly complained before looking skyward. "Watakushi wa kimi ni gendai go no hanashi kata o oshienakere ba naranai yō da. Watakushi no jinsei nante…"
"You know, I can BARELY make any of that out." Kyoji said, cutting in. "But who's the blue-haired beauty?"
Ash glared at him, as if protecting her from a lecherous old man. Or an overly enthusiastic Brock.
Mostly the latter: the age gap between Ash and Kyoji was only seven years.
"What? It's a compliment-"
"That's Dawn." declared Iris, her past timeline self having met her in Unova and was SCREAMING it in her ears.
"As in Dawn from Sinnoh?" Serena asked, her eyes flitting from pink to blue to scarlet to crimson every time she blinked before turning PURPLE for a second before becoming a dominate red and shifting back to blue.
The pervert nearly came out to play. But apparently she realized that seducing her within minutes of meeting her was a VERY bad idea.
"Dawn from Sinnoh." Ash confirmed, helping the terrified girl down from the mech, holding her hand the entire time.
"Are you two… together?" Becca asked, more curious than offended. After all, she knew he had a conga line of trauma.
Even if she wasn't exactly in the loop about the whole time travel thing.
"She's a friend. For now." Ash replied, not denying it. Why bother? The four 'veteran' girls knew about his feelings for them, for Dawn and for May. Max knew. Anabel had a massively good idea.
"You have a story to tell about this." Kyoji summized. He wanted to know what happened.
"Uh…" Becca said before pointing up. "Does that happen when Suicune shows up?"
Everyone looked up to see an aurora. A familiar one.
Kyoji smirked at Ash, who looked INCENSED. But before he could rib Ash for hypocrisy, the trainer made a frustrated, angry, defeated scream.
"I don't think poking him is a good idea." Ruby said, her sister and lovers all nodding in agreement while Ash's Celebi flew over to Sammy and Agatha and sent them back in time.
Sinnoh - Same time
Garchomp eyesmiled as her back was scrubbed. Gibles and their evolutionary line LOVED this. Cynthia brushed her starter with a stiff steel brush, removing dead scales, smiling as she scrubbed her.
The only problem was… well… Garchomp couldn't chomp.
Gibles LOVED to chomp. It was why Garchomps were so ANGRY all the time. They couldn't chomp without hurting their trainer.
Both then heard the angriest scream echoing in.
"Oh, boy." Cynthia said before a brunette-haired head poked in.
"Mom, who's screaming?" asked Verity Shirona.
Her mother - well, really genetic donor as it was her wife Makoto who gave birth to her, but did that really MATTER? - sighed. "The Chosen of Arceus." Cynthia said. "And we've got a debt to pay."
Pokemon Center outside Ilex Forest - 2112 hours local time
Hikari only spoke old Hisuian, which was close to Ranseian and the Johto dialect of Nihonese, but Mei and Kyoji could BARELY understand her words. Ash, of course, knew perfectly.
So did Red. Apparently it ran in the family.
Ash abridged the tale in a few sentences, saying he initially hid in a cave for three days, only going out to get berries for the Celebis to recover their strength. Then he had the nightmare to end all nightmares that got the attention of Akari, Hikari's big sister, a member of the Galaxy Survey Corps.
Apparently they became Team Galactic. Ash was not happy about this and was recruited - forced - into the Corps. This made him MORE pissed.
Hikari was assigned to be his senpai, his senior. Turned out she was more like his kouhei than anything because he knew MORE than she did.
He skipped over most of it. Eventually Dialga sent them home.
And Hikari - who everyone was calling Dawn - got caught up with him. They knew the rest.
Kyoji WANTED to rib Ash for breaking his own rules about time travel after the last time… but he gave up after hearing about how Ash spent three days hiding, trying his damndest not to be seen, trying to hide and not fuck up history.
Only for it not to be. Hikari, blushingly, told a story about how he could only sleep with a heartbeat. From what they could tell, she had only thick clothing, so…she was nude for it.
Every girl was blushing. Ash looked sheepish.
Serena was the only exception.
"TU AS DE LA CHANCE, SALOPE!" the Kalosian noblewoman declared, slipping into her native tongue. "TU DOIS AVOIR SA TÊTE ENTRE TES SEINS NUS PENDANT NEUF MOIS!"
"Serena, arrêtez de lui crier dessus." Ash sternly told Serena, using Kalosian to press home a point. "Elle est comme un poisson hors de l'eau et je vais devoir lui apprendre le langage moderne pour qu'elle puisse avancer."
Serena meekly looked down. ""Pardonne-moi, mon amour…" she replied, before Ash hugged her, whispering in her ear.
Apparently those nine months in the past - though thanks to temporal bullshit, he hadn't aged one day - gave him more skills in dealing with ladies.
"Did you have a harem in the past?" Kyoji teased instead of mocking him for breaking his own rules. After all, Ash followed them until life, which hated him, decided to make it clear it was pointless to try.
"People certainly TRIED. I had to reveal who I was and when I was from just to make them go away." Ash groused. "Redheads."
One of the Joys then walked up to the group. "Excuse me, Miss Slate?" she said. "You have a call pending for you."
Becca blinked before shrugging, walking over to the vid phone.
"Rebecca Slate, what the HELL were you up to over there?!"
Ash spun on his heel and rushed over, finding a familiar, welcome face.
Brock. A little more weathered, a little more leathery. But it was BROCK.
"You know, when I helped convince mom and dad that you'd be safe with Ash, I thought you'd keep him out of trouble." Brock said to the clearly very shocked girl while Ash grinned like a man seeing land after nearly drowning.
Becca, though, was confused. It looked like her father, but he wasn't AS old.
'That's Brock. Your big brother, I think.' came a telepathic call from Anabel. 'I'll help coach you through it.'
While Becca was dealing with that problem, Serena was sitting with Hikari.
Dawn.
Whatever.
She had all of Dawn's Pokemon - a Piplup with an ego the size of a small moon, a Quilava, a Piloswine, a Pachirisu, a Bunnery, even a freaking Togekiss - acted much the same way…
And for some reason was wearing a Dusk Stone.
Serena raised an eyebrow at that.
'Dusk Stones are only used for evolution for Pokemon. Mostly dark and ghost-types,' Rey summized. 'Why is she wearing one as a pendant?'
'It's pretty. All the reason a girl needs.' said Hime before Astral Serena poked at it.
'Uh…' the ghost said before, unique to her, she took control of her corporeal body, taking the pendant off.
'WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING?!' screamed a voice that sounded JUST like Hikari, but wore a sleeveless shirt, a white blouse, a DANGEROUSLY short miniskirt and… pink boots.
PINK. WHY WERE THEY PINK?!
The horrified time-displaced girl looked at Serena, who looked unrepentant.
"Nani o shiteru nda?!" exclaimed the girl, who then tried to get it back. "kaeshitekurenaito, ano rei ga shinu made sakebi tsuzukeru wayo!"
"Hate to say this, girly, but I can't understand a damn word you say." deadpanned the Kalosian.
'At least I can talk to YOU,' Astral Serena said to the other 'ghost'. 'You must be Dawn. I'm Serena.'
'Ash's girlfriend?' said the confused astral trainer. 'I mean, it's a given that you'd have a better chance then we would.'
'I'm not the only one. Long story,' Serena said before getting an idea. Jade would've been proud, but using her new psychic abilities to deal with this would help. '…Have you kissed Ash yet?'
Astral Dawn blushed. '…I think she has. I could feel a memory of her lips touching his-'
'Good.' Astral Serena cut off before the corporeal girl reached out and put her lips to Hikari's.
The Hisuian girl stopped still.
'Can you hear me? Good. Shut up and calm down. We have a story to tell.'
Good thing psychics didn't communicate through conventional language. Ash would still have to teach her the modern tongue, but this would do for now.
Jade grinned. 'Maybe we can have some-'
'NO!'
Jade pouted at being Dawn-blocked.
Ash could handle being glared at. The timeline had been changed for the better.
"Who. The Hell. Am. I?" Becca demanded. "Who is Brock?!"
But this was going to suck.
"Look… Brock… you replaced him thanks to SOMEONE fucking with the timeline." Ash started, glaring in Kyoji's direction. "Before he mucked with it, you didn't exist. Instead, there was Brock, who was… basically a big brother to me in the last timeline, before Cyrus pushed the auto-destruct button in his insanity. He taught me a lot. I only wish he taught me how to cook, too."
Becca stared. This explained SO MUCH… Ash must've been super awkward as she was… well, just like her brother.
Just… YOUNGER. And a girl. VERY much a girl.
She could imagine the thought process going through Ash's head: she was Brock, do treat her like Brock.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything-" Ash started before Becca scoffed.
"How could you START?" the dark skinned rock climber asked. "How awkward would the whole thing be? How… WEIRD? I'll accept the apology and the reasoning - I mean… I'm having a hard time knowing I have a big brother that I don't even KNOW, so I know how you feel - it's… just going to take a while to process."
"I know your pain and I know it SO well." Ash dryly added, making her laugh from the statement. "I'll let you think. But I AM sorry. You should've been told sooner, no matter how awkward this was."
He opened a door, revealing… Serena kissing Dawn.
"Seriously?!" he demanded of her.
Once he had an explanation, he'd forgive her.
Ron the True Fan: SURPRISE.
Takeshi Yamato: (Deadpan) I HATE Temporal Mechanics.
Ron the True Fan: Don't bother getting the tenses straight. It'll save you the headaches. Now… Dawn. Thanks to temporal bullshit, Dawn was born literally thousands of years earlier. And is known by her Hisuian name: Hikari. Her tale will be told… soon.
Takeshi Yamato: Ash basically lived through the story of Pokemon Legends: Arceus. Ron'll probably have a separate fic dedicated just to that. And… well, let's just say that Hikari's not the ONLY girl Ash is picking up because of that fiasco…
Ron the True Fan: And thanks to a vote, Johto is officially on hiatus. …What? There was a vote. Hisui or continuing Johto. Hisui won. Now… for support? Please. Sub to my YT channel. Enjoy the vids. Comment on Tethys Shipyards vids. Feed the goddamn algorithm.
Takeshi Yamato: ESPECIALLY that last one. We're doing our best here, but we could really use feedback to help improve some of our designs.
(2409 Starfleet Gible surfaces, soon followed by KDF Gible and Romulan Republic Gible)
Ron the True Fan: LAND SHARKS! (Hugs)
Ja Ne! (CHOMP!)