Alexandria wasn't exactly a people person. Which is odd considering her line of chosen work. It's not that she didn't like people, it's just she always came off as callous when first meeting people, and with her signature "Fuck You" attitude (which lets be honest, all of Gotham's inhabitants had to one degree or another) making friends was hard to do. Or making good First impressions, and especially trying to hire employees. That was usually why most potential workers practically ran out of the interview. Well, that and the fact she wasn't making nearly enough money to actually pay people what the job was worth. But with the Jokers business arrangement that may just change. Alexandria was actually excited! Some good helping hands was just what she needed to run things more smoothly, and having anyone help was a blessing in her opinion.
...
Unfortunately she forgot a key reason why Goons are... well, Goons...
Sometimes they need a bit of direction.
7:08 AM
"Alright! Listen up." Three vacant eyed, stocky men stood before Alexandria in the back of the kitchen. They snuck in the same way it seemed her new 'clients' (she REFUSED to call them friends as the Joker did), through her alarmless backdoor.
"I need you to know that this here," she gestured widely around the room, "This is my lifes' work. My baby. My little piece of heaven in this Gods Forsaken pissant city. And I need you to work hard to keep this place running smoothly. One of you mans the dishes, one mans the front, one mans the prep station while I man the grills. Don't you dare fuck it up!" Alexandria began to pace along the line they made. Each one fidgeting as she eyed them down, feeling as if they were about to be interrogated.
"I need you guys to work your damned hardest today, it may not be busy, hell we may only get 20 customers today, but I don't want slacking off!" She turned sharply to face them again, causing the one on the left to gulp audibly. "If we don't have customers, then whoever is up front cleans, the one on prep, cleans, and the one on dishes, well just keep cleaning." Alexandria smiled at her little joke, while the three before her gave what could only be described as a tight wince and nodded.
"This place is to be respected more than you do your lives!"
"So, let me show you around, and put you where you need to be."
"AAAAAAHHHH! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Gary, goon number one, was cradling his hand as the knife dropped to the floor. Marcus, goon number two, rushed to grab said utensil to wash up before New Boss got even more mad, but ended up slipping on a small puddle and whacking his head on the metal counter that held a precarious stack of plates. Kyle, goon three, burst through the doors, forgetting all about the register he left open to the world, ran to help his fallen comrades. Alexandria felt a migraine coming along quite nicely. Dropping the spatula she was holding, she stepped aside Kyle, out the kitchen door, closed the register, walked to the door and flipped the sign to closed. The only five customers in her diner eyed her apprehensively.
"I'm sorry folks," Alexandria said calmly, through gritted teeth, "But my new employees seem to be having a rather bad day." One snorted at the obvious observation.
"I would ask if you would please leave the premises before one of them decides to set the place on fire." Some nodded, seeing her red face and deciding arguing was not wise. Alexandria passed out to go boxes, though she did notice a few people left without their meals. Rubbing her temples she slowly made her way to her office, completely ignoring Marcus, who looked even more vacant then their first meeting and Kyle who was bandaging up Gary's hand.
Sitting in her creaking chair, Alexandria closed her eyes and began to rub at her temple in a more rapid pattern, pulling the hair along her scalp in the process, which was just adding fuel to the fire.
"Say my name, and I will always disappear. What am I?" Alexandria opened her eyes, then settled on a glare at the green clad man in her doorway.
"Riddler." The green man in front of her tutted as he leaned against the door frame, cane grasped between his hands.
"No, no, the answer was silence." He chanced a glance at the goon sitting on the floor nursing their respective wounds. "And with Jokers' men around, that is something you won't have." Alexandria snorted in annoyance, her expression loosening.
"I knew it was too good to be true." She opened a drawer, grabbing at the bottle of aspirin that rolled to the back, and swallowed two pills dry.
"Yes, well, goons are very rarely intelligent, especially those who work for Joker." The Riddler began to rock his cane back and forth in front of him, the signature question mark glinting faintly in the light. "Though it seems to weren't bright enough to think ahead in that regard." he commented so offhandedly, that Alexandria almost missed the dig towards her. Her glare came back full force.
"Excuse me for thinking that they'd at least be competent in a kitchen."
"You are excused." Riddler raised a hand and shrugged his shoulder, whilst Alexandria clenched her fists tight.
"Hey! Most criminals can only get jobs as cooks after getting out of jail!" Alexandria's voice raised an octave "I was justified in thinking these goon would be no different."
"Yes, yes, the lowly criminals settling on manual labor and cookery jobs is the usual norm, but this is Gotham, not all criminals work for Rouges." The Riddler leveled an indignant glare, "Though I'm sure that too didn't cross your mind."
"Stop insulting me in my own god damn office." Riddler eyed the dimly lit and cluttered space.
"And why should I? You're nothing more than a drop out with a ridiculous dream and a deal that could very well backfire if one of us gets bored."
"Joker sai-"
"Joker is not one to be trusted no matter what he shakes on, he is chaos incarnate and will follow his whims where ever they may lead him" He leaned down to her eye level "You'd best try and remember that in your pea sized"
THUMP!
The Riddler didn't see the fist directed at his jaw, and was unable to catch his balance to catch his fall as he fell to his side, cane dropping to the ground, hat flying off his head.
"DON'T YOU DARE COME IN MY HOUSE AND INSULT ME!" Alexandria reached down and hauled the Riddler back up by his lapels "Tell me smarty pants, at what temperature does an egg cook?" Riddler spat some blood on the floor
"158 degrees."
"Wrong! The whites start to cook between 144 and 149 degrees, the yolk between 149 and 158 degrees Fahrenheit." Riddlers eyes widened a bit, as Alexandria pulled him closer.
"What is the correct amount of sanitizer?"
"Well I'd assume-"
"Between 50 to 100 part per million, and change every 4 hours if bleach based. How long can baked goods be stored, by food safety laws, before shelf life expires, if freshly baked?"
"I don't see how-"
"Three days, so long as the are wrapped air tight. What is the name of the chemical process of cooking?"
"...I-"
"Maillard!" She shoved him back and he hit the desk with a light thump. Alexandria was heaving as she kicked his cane away, her three goons were peaking around the corner clambered to grab it.
"You wanna come in my house and insult me, after I agree to cook for your ungrateful ass ain't gonna fly!" Riddler visibly winced at her vernacular. She grabbed hold of his collar and led him to the kitchen.
"Larry!"
"Yes Ma'am!" Gary scuttled forward as Kyle gripped Riddlers cane nervously.
"Call Joker, and tell him lunch is served." Alexandria eyed The Riddler darkly as she walked him to the prep station. "And Marcus close the blinds would you." Marcus ran to the front of the house, ignoring the bloodrush his head got.
"What on earth are you doing, unhand me! This suit is worth more than your filthy restau-"
THUMP! THUMP!
"STOP INSULTING ME AND MY FUCKING RESTAURANT! KYLE! HOLD HIS ASS DOWN!" Alexandria grabbed an apron and tugged the suit jacket roughly off her new captive...
"HA! HAAA-HAHAHAHA-HAAA! OOOH-HA! OOH-HAHA-HAAHAHA!" Joker began to wheeze uncontrollably and Harley whacked his back in an effort to help his lungs. Dr. Crane adjusted his glasses, using his hand to hide his smug smirk. Kyle was pouring the Mad Hatter a cup of tea as he eyed Alexandria vehemently.
"Ooooh!" wheeeze "This is too good! Ha!" wheeze "Hahaha!" He panted a little, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes.
"I didn' know Eddie could cook!" Harly grinned before looking over at Alexandria. "How'd ya do it?"
"I don't know what this button does," Alexandria didn't take her eye off the Riddler, or her hands off his cane. "But he seems reeeeal nervous that I'm touching it."
The Riddler stood fuming in the kitchen, stains covering the apron, his vest and arms (the latter two much to his dismay.) as he continued to cook plate after plate, meal after meal.
"This is so insulting! To think that I-" he dropped the spoon and turned to his captor.
"HEY! That's risotto!, you don't stop fucking stirring!" Alexandria leaned a bit closer, thumb lightly pressing the tiny gold nub. Riddler saw that slight movement and began stirring faster. "Too fast! The rice wont cook evenly if you do that!"
Joker and his friends began to pile their plates, and watched the show continue.
"Did you find out what you needed?"
"She's not the most driven outside of her work." Riddler picked at his nails, trying to remove dried dough from under his thumb.
"I could have told you that." as the two walked down a secluded ally, trenchcoats and wide brimmed fedoras in place to hide themselves from rain and possible enemies, they tried not to raise their voices too high.
"She is quite... intense about her work." Riddler rubbed his jaw.
"I didn't ask that. I asked if you found what you were looking for."
"No... but I intend to." Riddler eyed his compatriot. "And you? Are you going to along with this? It doesn't seem like your usual cup of tea."
"Tea is the Hatters bag. I want to know why she isn't afraid of us." Dr. Crane furrowed his brow. "Everyone should... fear us..." Riddler shrugged as he parted ways with Dr. Crane. Leaving the self professed Master of Fear to plot his next move.
Well... yeah, I think this went well.