Gumbo was something Alexandria had steered cleared from in the past. It wasn't the meats, or spices, or the long cook time that put her off, it was the rue. Something as simple as butter and flour shouldn't be this hard to get right, but it was. It was too light, too dark, burnt, runny, too thick. To get a brick rue had been her nemesis for the past ten years, and it was still as difficult to get today. Tonight, however, she would be getting some very special help.
"Fuck and SHIT!" Smoke filled the kitchen, the broken bits of a fire alarm scattered across the floor, a near empty bag of flour tossed through the air. Another batch of rue burnt. Alexandria grabbed one handle of the stock pot and hurled that across the kitchen, narrowly missing a certain doctors' head in the process. The chef however seemed oblivious to the intruder as she slammed a wooden spoon repeatedly on her countertop so hard it broke. An engraged scream of frustration tore through her mouth at the sight of the splintered wood, as Alexandria kicked at the little pieces of wood and and broken smoke detector across the floor.
In other words, she was having a hissy fit.
"Son of a fucking bitch, you buttery heathen! Gluten devil! Fuck you and your thickening powers to the deepest pits!" Butter went sailing across the kitchen, landing at the 'Good' Doctors feet, an amused expression on his face as he watched the blonde scream profanities at the butter.
"Now you know that talking to inanimate objects is one of the signs of madness, don't you?" Humor lacing Cranes voice, as he watched Alexandria seethe in anger. She, finally, took notice of her guest.
"You'd be fucking yelling at butter too, if it wouldn't do its' job!" The Chef screamed gripping her hair in frustration, as she turned her back on Crane, walking to wear all her pots and pans were stored. Profanities shot out of her mouth in high pitched speed and she began to gather fresh butter and flour, again.
"Is this why you haven't been open for the weekend?" His only response was a frustrated growl.
Crane had never seen such anger in a person, pure rage. It set his mind reeling, taking note of all the quirks her body was giving off. Red face, dilated pupils, sweat gathering, hairs raised, breath rapid, the snarls she gave. But most of all... Her screams.
Not even when she yelled at Joker, that first day, did she screamed, raised her voice yes, but not this high pitched, guttural scream.
'Damn Johnny, she's been holding out!' Scarecrow laughed in his mind, causing Crane to pinch the bridge of his nose. 'Wanna see if we can make her scream more?' Doing his best to ignore his 'partner', he walked behind Alexandria.
"And what would that job be?" Alexandria whirled around to face the doctor, seeming to debate with herself. Crane took notice that she bit her lip when she thought to herself. A heavy sigh, before tense shoulders relaxed, though her tone was still hard.
"I'm making a rue." Crane's eyebrow raised.
"That should be hard for you to do." Alexandria scoffed.
"No it ain't. Brick rues on the other hand are a biiiiiitch!" She drew out the word, emphasizing with another snarl. Crane heard a resonating growl in his head from the Scarecrow. 'What was that?'
'Nothin'. Don't worry about it.'
"If a brick rue is so hard to obtain, why not just use a simple rue?" Alexandria leveled a glare at the doctor.
"Because," the chef took a deep breathe, trying to steady her anger. "Brick rues make the best gumbo."
"You're making gumbo?"
"I'm trying to, but I can never get past the fucking rue!"
Johnathon took note of the kitchen, cataloging all that he saw.
"You need to bake it."
"Pardon?"
"Brick rues are best achieved when baked in a cast iron pot." Alexandria stared hard at the Doctor.
"How do you know that?"
"I'm an educated man, I-"
"Your college degree don't mean shit in my kitchen." Alexandria leaned in close, staring suspiciously at the Doctor, "How do you know that?" She poked his chest to emphasize her question.
'She's challengin' you, Johnny...'
"I grew up in the South." the chef snorted, clearly not believing the answer, but still she pulled down her largest cast iron pot from a rack and thrusted it into the doctors chest.
"Show me."
An hour later, after Alexandria had swept the kitchen and vigorously scrubbed all the failed rues from her pots, Alexandria found herself seated across from Dr. Crane. He languidly sipped his tea, while ignoring the wary stare of the chef, who was sipped sweet tea.
"Why are you here?" Crane didn't bother to glance at the chef as he pulled a notepad out of his pocket.
"Jervis tried to stop by yesterday for tea, but you seemed to have scared him off with your tirade." He took note of of how the Chefs' shoulders relaxed slightly.
"Good, maybe he'll see me less as Alice and more as the Red Queen." Alexandria leaned back in her chair, kicking her booted feet onto the chair across from her.
"So you have noticed his fixation." Crane disdainfully glanced at the feet next to him, but went back to his notes.
"I have to remind him that I'm not Alice almost every tea time."
"Then why have tea time? Why continue this...business?" Alexandria was silent as she thought. Crane took note of how a crease formed in her brow and how her eyes seemed to go blank as she thought.
"Did you know Batman showed up the other day?" Crane felt a surge of anger flow through him.
"Oh?"
"He asked me a few questions, I told him to fuck off." Alexandria huffed, "Apparently I have a leak forming in the roof."
"Why are you bringing this up?"
"I forgot he showed up until I swept up the remains of the phone he left behind." Another derisive huff. "I guess you now know I have a temper." Alexandria stared at Johnathon until he finally made eye contact with her.
"Again I ask, why?" A few moments passed before the chef answered.
"It's Gotham. You need to look out for yourself above all else. If you don't, you die. You could get gassed," She gestured to the Doctor, "or squished, or poisoned, or shot, or broken in half, or eaten, or a fit of giggles. I saw an opportunity to stay alive and keep business afloat. Now look where I am."
"And where exactly are you?"
"Business is booming and I have something I haven't had in years." Crane raised a brow, to which Alexandria answered back with withering smirk. "I've got friends."
Johnathon Crane sat in his office going over his notes on the little chef.
"Figure anything out?" Edward sat in a chair in the corner, filling out a crossword puzzle. Crane adjusted his glasses as he sipped lightly on a glass of whiskey.
"We don't have to worry about her going to the authorities."
"We already knew that."
"She thinks we're her friends, Edward." The Riddler laughed to himself.
"Well...She isn't completely airheaded."
"No... just hot headed."
It was early morning by the time Alexandria left her 'home'. Walking to her apartment alone wasn't an issue anymore. 'I've got friends in low places...' Alexandria couldn't help but hum the song, noting how appropriate it was. The streets were empty save a few homeless people gathered around bins of fire to keep warm. October had just rolled into Gotham, and with it the slushy, icy rain occasionally turned to snow drifts. By the time Alexandria saw her building, the chill had settled into the chefs' back. The large pot of her first ever successful gumbo, clutched lovingly to her chest, kept her front warm. The elevator ride up to her floor was quiet, the only sound was the jingle of her keychain. Sliding her key into her apartment, thought of liquor and hot showers brought a smile to her face.
The smile dropped when she she the door and turned the lights on.
"SURPRISE ALICE!"