When had her life become so wild?
Drunken bar fights were fine. Muggers were fine. Dope dealers a few doors down were fine. Rogues were fine. Struggling to get ends meet was fine. Damien Wayne, and Alfred the Butler, meeting her Ex turned friend(?) and his family... that was not fine. The Chef was at a loss. Decked in her coat, Damien's Gotham Academy hat, and some boots, the Chef squirmed in her seat uncharacteristically. Noriko was cooing over the stone faced child, asking him endless questions of what comforts he needed. Juice, snacks, video games. Her motherly instincts in overdrive. Alfred was holding Little Lexie, bouncing her in his hold as he discussed traditional British Cuisine, and how India had influenced the change of it, with Gene. All the while the Chef sat in the corner, all but chugging the liquor from her flask, trying not to run. She groaned as the last dregs hit her tongue in pitiful drops, she had forgotten to refill it before fleeing to Gene's apartment. Noriko finally backed away from Damien, walking over to Alfred.
"It's about time I took Lexie to her sofu for a visit." Lexie brightened almost instantly at the word, reaching out to her mother eagerly.
"Sofu!" Alfred handed off the child, Gene grabbing the large diaper bag from the kitchen counter.
"Everything is in there, Sweetie. I packed some extra clothes too, just in case." Gene placed a kiss on both Noriko and Lexie's cheeks. Noriko shoulder the bag and grabbed some car keys from a hook on the wall. The Wife walked to the Chef.
"Say bye bye to Auntie Tsundere!" Alexandera frowned at the Wife.
"Buh bye, Rey!" Lexie waved a chubby hand enthusiastically, Alexandera patted the top of the toddlers head awkwardly.
"Later, Crotch Goblin." Alexandera stood as Noriko left, stretching her arms. Her body was still sore and slightly bruised from her spectacular loss against Lex at paintball. Shrugging the coat off and tossing it uncaringly on the dinner table, she walked over to Damian. He was sitting stiffly on the couch, eyeing Gene and taking in the apartment. It was so domestic. Photos of the couple, the family of three, and other covered the walls. Children toys littered the floor, a baby gate sat open at the start of the small hallway. He took in the Lady Chef's tired face, though his face hardened at the blueish green marks mottling her arms.
"What happened?" Alexandera visibly jolted at the harsh tone in the younger boys voice.
"Paintball." The Chef dropped heavily on the couch next to Damian.
"Did you not take cover? Scan your surroundings for aggressors?"
"Kid, it was paintball. Wasn't no aggressors." The Chef pulled the brim of her hat over her eyes, blocking out the light.
"You must always be vigilant, even when you feel at ease. Especially when you feel at ease."
"You're real paranoid."
"It only takes being right once, to justify being cautious." Alexandera turned her head slightly towards Damian's voice.
"You think so?"
"I know so." The Chef hummed. What happened to this kid?
"How'd you find me?"
"Classified."
"Track my cell phone or something?" She meant it as a joke, but when silence greeted her, she nudged the hat up to look at the boy. He was pointedly looking away from her, face set neutrally. "You gotta be kidding me. Kid, how do you even know how to do that?"
"Classified."
"Are you some super secret spy? Got a hideout where you track criminals."
"...Classified." Alexandera sat up, glancing toward the kitchen, Gene and Alfred were pouring over old cookbooks, comparing recipes.
"Kid..." Damian refused to meet her eyes, Alexandera sighed.
"Damian..." He finally looked to her, she rarely, if ever, called him by his name. "Are you in trouble?"
"No."
"Damian... Look if you're in some kind of gang or shit, I ain't gonna judge you. I know most of the guys that come to my diner are... unsavory." Damian had never heard her actually admit this. She had the policy of... how did she put it... Don't ask, don't tell? "If you're in some kind of trouble... Fuck." The Chef ripped the hat from her head harshly, rubbing at her head in agitation.
"If you need back up, Kid, I got friends in hella low places." She thought he was in trouble. She thought he needed help, someone to look out for him. He could laugh, she was the one who needed looking after. Still, he was... touched. She wasn't prying for information, she was trying to offer help without prosecution. Wasn't that what he was trying to do.
"There is no need for that, Lady Alexandera." Damian watched as she shrugged, placing his hat back on her head leaning back into the couch. "I appreciate your offer though."
"Just remember, Kid. If you get in a fight, kick 'em in the dick."
"Crass. There are more effective ways to take down an aggressor."
"Eh, I find a swift kick to the dick, or cunt punt for the ladies, in these steel toes," she lazily held a foot up for emphasis, the boots worn and dirtied. "can fuck a bitch up."
"Miss Fox, must you use that language around children?" Alfred and Gene came into the room, drinks in both their hands. "What will become of your niece's vocabulary?" Gene kicked the Chef's foot, mumbling in agreement.
"Alfred, Smokebomb hears worse when he stops by the diner for lessons."
"My kids are going to sound like sailors." Gene sighed unhappily, sipping his soda. The Chef began cackled, starting to sing off key.
"I once had a lass with a nice round ass, tumble all around with me, hey nonny ho..."
Lunch had been interesting. Damian flat out refused to eat anything delivered, so he and Gene ended up cooking something in the kitchen of the apartment. The scent of spices heavy in the air, along with jasmine rice. Curry, possibly. Alfred and Alexandera kept up the flow of conversation, small talk about cooking and Alfred's younger, much younger, years. When Damian called out for them to eat, Alexandera took stock of the expression on Gene's face. He looked rattled. When she cocked her brow in silent question, he shook his head, glancing uneasily at the boy already sitting in his seat.
"Kid, what you do to Gene?" Gene sighed, taking the seat opposite of the boy, trying to put distance.
"I am no child, Lady Alexandera. I merely questioned his friendship with you."
"Not a lady. You could have asked me." Alfred sat next to Damien, across from the Chef.
"I did not know you were once engaged. Is it not normal to avoid past lovers?" Gene chocked slightly on his curry, coughing.
"Kid, what the fuck about me screams 'normal'?"
"I suppose nothing, really."
"You can still be friends with someone, even if the actual relationship changes its dynamic." Alfred supplied. Damian mulled that answer in his head.
"Do you still harbor romantic feelings for Reginald?"
"No." Alexandera gazed over at Gene, who smiled encouragingly. "He's still my friend though."
"Thanks, Space Cowgirl."
"No problem, Afro Samurai."
"He is hardly a samurai, and he has no afro." Damian stared intently at Gene. "If you were call him by an appropriate name it should be Flattop Father." Damian mouth quirked slightly at one side as Alexandera chuckled deeply.
"What do you say, Gene? Flaptop Father?" Gene groaned.
"I'd rather Weeb."
"What is a weeb?" Damian asked.
"It's kinda an insult to someone who likes anime." Gene answered, biting into the curry. He had to admit, the kid was intense, but damn if this wasn't good.
"That is Japanese animation, correct?" Gene nodded. "What is a tsundere?"
"No!" Alexandera tried to cut Gene off, not wanting to continue this conversation, but of course, the dark forces playing with her life didn't grant her request. The rest of lunch was spent with Alexandera halfheartedly grumbling while Gene and Damian made jokes at the Chef expense, all in good nature, while Alfred sat watching the exchange.
Alfred and Damian said their goodbyes, both having to leave once Bruce Wayne called, wondering where they were. Gene was surprised when the younger Wayne held his hand out to him, waiting for Gene to shake it.
"I apologize if I insulted you." Gene grasped the hand, shocked at how strong the grip was.
"Don't worry about it. You remind me of Alexandera, intense." Gene tried not to react to the proud gleam in the boys eyes. "You mind if I use your recipe at work?"
"Not at all. It seems adequate compensation for us intruding on your home." Damian turned to Alexandera, who was shrugging her coat on. "Are you sure you do not wish for Alfred to drive you to your hotel?"
"Nah, I'm gonna walk around the city a bit. Haven't really had the chance to yet." Damian nodded.
"Be sure to be back at your apartment before sundown. Do not engage with strangers." Alexandera rolled her eyes.
"Fuck, Kid, you sound like your my big brother." Damian only grinned, happy at the comparison.
"I'm too young to be your elder brother, Lady Tsundere."
"Gene where do you keep your oranges?" Alexandera ruffled the boys hair roughly.
"Uhhh…" Gene looked to Alfred, he seemed to be the only sane person in his home right now.
"An inside joke, Mr. Jones." Alfred stood by the door, smiling at the scene. It was nice seeing Damian acting his age.
"I hope you enjoy the rest of your vacation, Lady Chef. I am sure once you return, your employees will have plenty of work for you to handle."
"Nah, the boys can handle the diner just fine." Alexandera waved slightly to Alfred. "Drive safe."
"Of course, Miss Fox. Master Damian, shall we." Damian and Alfred were about to close the door when Alexandera blurted out.
"Remember, Smokebomb, hella low places." Damian looked back, and gave a smirk so much like the Chef's own.
"I will keep that in mind, Ukhti." He turned away from the Chef's confused gaze at the word, walking ahead of the Butler. When the door latched, Gene turned to Alexandera.
"You've got some weird friends..." Alexandera groaned.
"You don't want to know the half of it."
"I'm inclined to agree."
The rest of Alexandera's mini vacation went by quietly. She finally got to try the hotels food, which was pretty good. Spent some time with Gene and Noriko and Lexie, though half of that time was battling off the smaller woman who was trying to get her measurements for the dreaded maid outfit and trying to keep the Crotch Goblin from pulling her hair. The day finally came when it was time for her to board the plane back to Gotham. She checked out, and was about to call an Uber, when a familiar deep voice spoke behind her.
"Didn't think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye, did you Miss Fox?" Alexandera turned to face Lex, who was holding her suitcase in his hands.
"Came all this way to say goodbye?" Alexandera looked around the lobby. "You didn't bring a hoard of paparazzis?" Lex chuckled, an amused grin gracing his lips.
"Not this time I'm afraid, they seem to think I am currently driving off to the westside. Someone left a phony tip that I would be there for an event."
"Lying just for me? I'm flattered."
"I had hoped you'd be. Shall we? My cars out front." He didn't wait for her answer as he walked to through the lobby, people staring at him through their phones, taking photos. Alexandera followed glaring at anyone who pointed a phone at her. Stepping out the automatic doors, she saw Lex putting her luggage in the back of a flashy sports car.
"What, no driver?" Lex closed the trunks hood before spinning a set of keys around his finger.
"Oh I have one, she's standing right there." Alexandera stared at him blankly.
"The fuck?"
"You took me out for a 'normal' date. Since I couldn't spare anytime with you yesterday due to work, at least let me show you something a little abnormal before you have to go." He tossed the keys to her, which she caught.
"If I wreck your car, I'm not paying." Lex laughed soundly as he opened the passenger door, the door not opening outward but sliding up.
"I have incredible insurance."
"Yeah, I bet you do." Alexandera finally moved to take the drivers seat, ignoring the crowd that had started to form, taking photos and videos.
"Do you know the way to the airport?" Lex asked as she adjusted the seat for her height.
"Yep." Sure popped the 'p' as she inserted the key, grinning broadly at the sound of the engine.
"Then try not to get pulled over, Alexandera." She didn't even notice that he'd called her by her given name, not Miss Fox, as the car responded quickly to the slightest push on the foot pedals. This was going to be fun. The Metropolis Gossip column had a field day with the videos taken of the Blue Haired Bad Girl speeding off from the hotel.
Lex breathed deeply, trying to quell the beating of his heart. She was a decent driver, if a little bit of a speed demon. Alexandera had parked the car, grinning as she stepped out.
"Adrenaline junkie?" The Chef snorted.
"Kinda a requirement, living in Gotham."
"I suppose so. Come, I have a surprise for you." Lex grabbed the luggage, and keys, leading the Chef towards the airport proper, before stopping in front of a woman in a gold cart.
"I don't like surprises."
"This is a good one, trust me." The airport employee strapped the luggage down in the passenger seat while Lex sat on the back bench, patting the seat next to him invitingly. The Chef sat next to him, and the woman began to drive. "I had hoped to spend the day with you yesterday, but couldn't. This is my apology."
"Don't need to apologize if I didn't know."
"I suppose. Alexandera," Lex turned his head to the blue haired woman. "I know you do not want a relationship with me yet."
"Seems like you think I would in the future."
"I'm a Luthor, I always get what I want."
"I'm tempted to jump off, just to spite you." Lex laughed.
"I believe you."
"What were you planning anyway?"
"Oh, shopping."
"Shopping?"
"Yes, I had planned on taking you to the Metroplex," Lex grinned at her raised brows. "Buy anything you remotely looked at."
"Dude, I don't need or want that" The Metroplex was Metropolis's rich person mall. People wore gloves when they handled the clothes people were going to try on, they served you champagne while you browsed their wares. Hell you could get a massage while waiting for the changing rooms.
"I know. I wanted to. Alexandera, I'm Luthor, to some I am sickeningly rich," He ignored the Chef's mumble of 'You got that right.' "If we are going to have a future relationship, I want you to know what life with me would be like. You handle the media well enough, I want you to know I like to spoil those I'm with."
"When the last time you were in a real relationship? Not some three day fling?" Lex sighed.
"Too long. I would have done anything for her, but I was blind, and when I started to focus more on work, she found affection elsewhere, while still charging my credit card."
"Harsh dude. Kinda weird you'd want to try and spoil me."
"I want to spoil you because you don't want me to." Lex grabbed her hand, feeling callouses on the palms. "Like I said, I like your honesty, I like that you're independent, but isn't it nice to lean on those around you from time to time." Alexandera looked at the hand holding hers, but didn't pull away.
"Lex, I've been alone a very long time. I like being alone. I'm still getting used to having friends, hell even family."
"I'd like to help..." That urge came back. The urge to run. Run away, drink, forget. Alexandera fought with herself to not make good on her threat to jump off the golf cart. She was already overwhelmed by the idea of being back in Gene's life. Of being an Aunt. Of having real friends. Of caring. It made her want to run away and be alone again. It was easier. There wasn't anything traumatic that caused it, she was just always that way. Foster care had instilled that in her, moving around could be good, moving around meant no solid attachments, no messy strings to unravel because you just walked away from the knots. Her time in Gotham, as fucked up as the city was, had changed her in some ways... maybe for the better...
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"Fine. I can't promise you a sexual relationship, but I'll be your friend. You need someone to take you down a few pegs anyway." Alexandera felt a flush creep onto her ears and cursed herself for always having it up. Lex smiled triumphantly as she looked away from him.
"And you need someone to take care of you sometimes."
"You gotta kink for that or something? Taking care of woman who don't want you to?"
"For you, I suppose I do. You're cute when your frustrated."
"Fuck off, Luthor."
"I hope to in the future." He chuckled as she scoffed, turning away from him and giving him a lovely view of pink blush spreading on her neck.
A private jet. Lex's surprise to her was his personal jet back to Gotham.
"You know I have a ticket, right?"
"As I said, I'm trying to spoil you."
"You ain't my sugar daddy."
"Call me that again, Miss Fox." Lex was met with a smack to his arm.
"Don't push your luck."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Miss Fox." The side of the plane was opened, stair leading to the inside ready and waiting. "Do you have transportation lined up once you land?"
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?"
"No, Miss Fox, you're not." If Alexandera's time with the Rogues had taught her anything, it was that the tone Lex used right now meant, just go along with it. She sighed.
"Yeah, I do."
"Then you best be off."
"What not going to come along? Point out all the blocks you own as we fly over the city?"
"I would love to, but technically I am not supposed to be here, I have business to attend to once you leave." Lex nodded to the pilot who jogged slightly up the steps. "I do hope the next time you're in Metropolis, or I in Gotham, you'll call on me."
"Don't have your number."
"Yes you do, though I suppose you don't remember." Alexandera checked her phone, and sure enough his name was in her contacts.
"You didn't look at my nudes did you?" Lex gave a near predatory grin.
"Oh Miss Fox don't tempt me." Without warning, Lex grabbed her hand and placed a delicate kiss on her wrist, maintaining eye contact. "Fly safely." Alexandera rolled her eye as she pulled her arm away, stepping backwards towards the plane.
"Like I have any control over that." She smirked and gave a halfhearted wave, turning to walk up the steps.
"Alexandera."
"Yeah."
"The next time you see them, tell them to be a little more discreet." Lex smiled when she didn't even stiffen, but still turned to meet his gaze. She studied him, head cocked as if trying to figure him out. He felt a little thrill at her smoldering eyes. Alexandera scoffed.
"Kinda hard to do when they run around in bright spandex." With that she turned and climbed the steps, boarding the plane. She was honest, but she could keep a secret.
She was going to be fun. It was disappointing when he remembered he wouldn't see the reaction to the bags of new clothes with her name on them on the plane.
.
.
.
The last of the Metropolis chapters, but not the last of the Lex. Don't worry, he was never fated for the Chef. Next time we see her, she'll be back in the clutches of the Nerd Trio (or Quartet if you include The Scarecrow as a separate entity, which I do).
My Anti shirt, by the way, heard me talking shit, because I found it this morning on the bookshelf. The one on my Fiancé's side of the room. Like how? ¯\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯
Anyway, Things are just going to get more interesting from here on out, now that the boys feel competition, who knows what hijinx will ensue. If you got any ideas, let me know.
Stay safe and prepare your selves for holidays.
The world would be bleaker without you.
s742