"Alright, listen up!" The Chef barked, drawing the attention of nearly 80 men and women crammed into her diner's lobby. Her Diner Boys flanked her on the ground while she stood on the cashier counter. Alexandera accepted the thermos of coffee and Irish creme from Gary. "This is my life's work, my baby, my little piece of heaven in this fucked up city. And now, you're a part of it." There was a nagging feeling of nostalgia as she address her... Patrons. Her Goons. It was just like when her Boys first arrived, but instead of blank, hopeless looks, the crowd was smiling. Eager.
"The diner itself doesn't need more than a few more people, so I've spoke with a few friends. We're officially expanding!" Marcus grinned at his Boss's happy tone. "We'll be opening a diner in Glitzy territory, a long with food carts spread through out the city." Hoots and scattered clapping resounded.
"It's gonna be another month or so before everything is ready, so in the mean time, I'm giving y'all a crash course in cuisine, with a little help on the side." Alexandera looked down at Kyle, who nodded in understanding at his cue, scurrying into the kitchen. "Y'all assholes be nice, he's my oldest friend." The kitchen door swung open, and Gene stepped into the diner lobby, dressed in his Luthor branded black Chef's coat. Lex had promoted him to personal chef, The Chef proud. No nepotism needed, he deserved the pay raise, especially with her new nephew.
Gene smiled the entire time he ran through the lesson plan, answering questions succinctly and kindly. It was going to be a hectic month, but The Chef had something she hadn't felt in a long time. And she could see it reflected in the eyes of her Goons as they hung onto Gene's words.
Hope.
Or maybe it was heartburn.
Either way, the coffee was good.
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The Chef tapped away at her laptop, checking to make sure the sizings were correct as she worked towards completing the uniform orders. After Goonion dues were paid, from her rescue and the acquisition of her new Patrons, she bank account was tighter than it had been nearly a year ago. It was going to be rough for a bit, but she knew she'd be making back what she lost soon enough. The coats would be her last big purchase for a while.
She did owe Birdbrain a favor now, but that didn't bother her. Lex had only asked for an evening out, that was somehow more intimidating. Gene slid into the seat across from her, beaming as he texted on his phone.
"Smile any harder and your face will stay like that." The Chef commented, snagging a fry from the plate at the center of the table.
"That's a good thing!" Gene laughed, as he angles his phone, the sound of a camera shutter clicking. Alexandera gave him the finger, and heard the shitter again. "Oh, Ko is gonna love that."
"Ugh, I'm still waiting to wake up with her and a maid dress hovering over me like a horror movie." Alexandera rolled her eyes, Kyle snorting as he wiped the tables clean. Eavesdropper.
"That's gonna wait a little longer. She wants to wait a bit more before she travels with the kids."
"You sure she'll be alright while your here for the next two weeks?" The Chef winced at the grand total for the coats, but hit confirm.
"Yeah, her dad is staying over, basking in the love."
"Sounds sticky." A fry hit her face, Kyle choking on laughter as he rushed into the kitchen, avoiding her glare.
"Gross!" Gene gagged, looking uncomfortable for a moment, before his expression lifted into a smile again. "I can't believe you're doing this. I never thought you'd be doing this well." The Chef closed her laptop, stretching her arms up, her shoulder pinched slightly, but the pain lessened everyday, little by little.
"I did tell you business was good. Granted, this expansion was a little... Unexpected." Alexandera dropped her arms on the backrest of the booth, turning her gaze to the ceiling. One of the lightbulbs we're burnt out. She'd need to replace it later. "I'm more worried about my new guys getting grease burns."
"Between you and me, they'll be rush ready in no time!"
"Were you always this positive?" The Chef groaned, grinning. "Can't believe I sucked your dick."
"You'd think some of that positivity would've rubbed off on you." Gene laughed. "Anyway, since you're more about comfort food, I made a list of techniques and recipes that'll be a good starting poi-" the kitchen door slammed open, Marcus staring at her wide eyed.
"Boss! J-"
"CHEFIEEE~!!!"
"Sunshine!"
...
"Fuck." Alexandera stood suddenly, Gene grunting as the table slid into his stomach at her movement. She wasn't fast enough, didn't make it to her kitchen in time.
"Oh! You've got a friend over? Hehehehe!" Joker strode forward like a smug cat, straightening the lapels to his purple suit. "I love making new... Friends." Harley clung on his arm, grinning almost as wide as The Joker as she wiggled her fingers in greeting, bouncing on her heels. She could Gene gasp behind her.
"I wasn't expecting you, J." The Chef muttered.
"Oh? I know I didn't stop by the night my stay-cation ended, but the missus missed me!" Harley giggled as Joker gave an exaggerated kiss to the top of her jester hat, including a loud 'mwah'. "And then Bob tells me you're rolling with the big boys now, with some of my goons, no less!" His tone dropped slightly at the end. In normal circumstances, The Chef wouldn't have cared, but this was a normal circumstance.
"Marcus and Bob worked out the details and payments, you've got more than enough goons, you'll hardly miss the- HEY!" The Chef shouted when Joker pulled his comically large pistol from his coat, moving to stand Infront of where he was aiming. Gene.
"I'd put that phone away, buddy." Joker laughed threateningly, Harley had stepped away, moving to the kitchen window, leaning in towards the coffee pot. The Chef turned her back to Joker, glaring at Gene. He was shaking.
"Gene, put the phone down." Gene looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was.
"Alex! That's! He's-!"
"Don't worry about him." Alexandera firmly ordered, trying to keep him calm, she could see sweat starting to pepper his brow.
"Oh, he's a Glitzies! Need me to handle him?" She heard the gun cock, and Alexandera whirled around.
"Joker! No!" Alexandera shouted, snarling.
"I'm calling the cops!" Gene whimpered, and The Chef turned again, slapping the phone out of his hand.
"NO, REGINALD!" Gene looked terrified, his phone clattering to the ground. She kicked it behind her. Joker snickered.
"Oooooh!" He sounded like a schoolboy, teasing another child. "Full name, someone's in trouble!" The Chef felt her head pulse, migraine eeking into existence.
"Y'all both about to be in trouble!" Alexandera inhaled deeply. She leaned down to meet Gene's disbelieving, wide eyed, horrified stare. "Gene. Don't. Joker is... A friend."
"Gene... Gene... Oh! Gene's the ex!" The Chef clenched her jaw. "Wow, rekindling old flames, wonder how Jerry's taking that!"
"Gene's married, he's here helping me train my goons for later."
"Alexandera! Don't-"
"Gene, he's one of the people who saved me when I was kidnapped. He helped me with my diner, he gave me my first diner boys. He's..." The Chef fumbled with on how exactly to explain her relationship. "Look, Gotham is corrupt as all hell, it's dirty, evil, and dangerous. There's good people though, if you're good to them."
"He's a criminal!"
"So am I!" The Chef yelled. "So was everyone in the room today! That's how Gotham works! But fuck, I ain't gonna let shit happen to you! You're one of mine, and people know better. Right, J?" The Chef turned her head to glare at The Joker. He lowered his gun, shrugging.
"Any friend of Chefie is a pal of mine." Joker slid the gun back into his jacket, Harley quickly taking her place back on his arm, the carafe of coffee in her free hand, looking more like cream than coffee. "Nice to meet'cha, Reggie."
The Chef looked back to Gene, his mouth a thin hard line.
"Gene, everyone who saved me that night has been in Arkham, Blackgate, or has a warrant for their arrest. They are dealers, prostitutes, thieves, but they're people. My people. I've got a set of rules in place to make sure these idiots don't act like fucking hooligans. And yes, Joker, those rules apply to you, too.!"
"Excuse you, I'm a ruffian, not a hooligan." Alexandera heard the squeaky wheel to an office chair being moved, she assumed he was getting comfortable.
"You're a pain in my egg stache, is what you are." This got Alexandera thinking. " Marcus! Fire the grill up!"
"Yes, Boss."
"You're cooking for him?!" Gene hissed. At least he looked less scared now.
"In here, he's a paying customer. I'm a cook, not a cop. It's not my place, and I really don't care." Gene stared hard at her, brow furrowed as sweat dripped down his temple. He leaned a little to the left, looking past her. He gulped, righting himself quickly. "Gene, trust me."
He shook his head, stuttering in a breath. Hand reach up to run the back of his head.
"Alexandera this is crazy!"
"Yeah. But that's Gotham. It's crazy, but it's home." Gene blanched.
"Home?"
"It's got my apartment, my diner, my friends, my brother, my boyfriend," Gene gasped softly at that last word. "It's my home. I finally found it, please. I'll explain everything. Please! Don't... I can't lose this. Don't..." The Chef felt a burning in her eyes, her voice near a whisper, rushed, begging Gene to understand. Or at least trust her. He stared her down, hand sliding forward to catch the sweat from his neck, wiping it on the hand towel that poked out of his chef coats pocket.
It felt like an eternity before he answered, his voice shaking.
"Okay." He leaned over again to look at Joker. "Okay. He's... He's your friend. I'm your friend, and he's your friend. We're all..." He blanched again, but took a steadying breath.
"Wonderful! Now that that's cleared up!" She heard two bangs on her table, and turned to face Joker. His feet were on the table. "Reggie, you know how to make eggy toast?" The Chef grabbed Gene's hand.
"Joker, feet off the table, I don't let Deker do it, I'm not letting you do it, either." The Chef swatted his legs when she passed. "Gene, come on. Grab your phone, we need a fuck ton of eggs." Gene stiffly followed after her, whispering as he passed Joker.
"It's not Reggie"
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The car was cramped, Kyle driving for once, Gene sat between Alexandera and Marcus, as they drove to the forest The Chef had hoped not to ever go to again. Gene had stayed painfully quiet the entire time Joker and Harley stayed in the diner, talking her ear off about Joker's stay, Harley's exploits. He only reacted with a dropped jaw when something Joker said got The Chef laughing, and they ended up in a cycle of unending dark humor. The Chef even bringing up being gassed by Crane. He and Harley perked up, asking if she had fun.
Of course they were immune, somehow.
When they finally left, Joker clapping Gene's back harshly, laughing as he complimented his 'sautee skills', Gene stared Alexandera down expectantly. The Chef sighed, asking Marcus to send a tweet out, saying the diner was closed for the evening. Her boys rushed about finishing closing tasks, Gary passing her desk bottle of whiskey into Gene's hand as he passed. Gene wasn't much of a drinker, it shocked her when he sat down on an ottoman, taking a long swig. They went out the back door, The Chef didn't bother locking it.
Gene was still quiet as they drove past Wayne Manor, The Chef flicking it off as they passed. They reached that familiar spot from before... Stepping out, Marcus offered Alexandera a smoke, she gratefully took. Gene shook his head when offered, stripping his chef's coat off, folding it nearly, and placing it on the cars seat.
"You wanna do this with my Boys, or alone?" The Chef asked, when he closed the car door. Gene stood silently.
"Does it matter?"
"To me? No. To you? Yeah, it matters."
"Are they..."
"They were." Gene nodded, sighing.
"Alone."
"Boss." Marcus said, warningly. The Chef held her hand up, halting him.
"I've got the vial on me. I trust Gene with my life." Marcus huffed, but moved to lean on the car door. Alexandera started walking, Gene following after as she walked into the forest of nightmares. It looked less spooky in the day time. Leaves squashed wetly under her boots, and birds actually chirped. There was even the odd insect humming by. A quiet, peaceful place. With no one around to hear anything. The footsteps behind her stopped, and so did she, turning.
Gene stood with his arms crossed, glaring at The Chef. She fully faced him, arms at her side, waiting.
"Alexandera Fox. What in the actual fuck?! What the fuck is going on?! That is a grade A psychopath, and you just ate lunch with him like an old college buddy! He pulled a gun on me! On YOU! And apparently your employees are gang members! And you were gassed, and forgive me, but if the sudden knowledge you are 'friends' with that clown is to go off of, I'm going to assume that means you were gassed by that Scarecrow guy?!" Gene was yelling, and it made Alexandera flinch away slightly. She'd never seen Gene angry before. He was even cursing. "What's next? You're dating some theif, or-or-or a gang member?!"
"Well... Jervis isn't bad when he's lucid." Gene barked a laugh harshly.
"Are you fucking kidding me?! Lucid? So what he's a massive drug lord?!"
"Dealers don't sample the product. And Jervis isn't a dealer or anything like that."
"Well I guess that makes it better, huh?!" Gene threw his hands in the air, and began pacing. "What is he then?!" The Chef hesitated.
"The Mad Hatter."
"The Mad-! The mind control crazy?! Is he brain washing you?!"
"I'm not wearing a hat right now, so no. He's never tired to put a hat on me. In fact... He's been pretty well behaved since we started having tea times." It occured to her as she was saying it. Huh. That's interesting.
"Oh! Oh, that's great! Tea time! Gonna gnosh on some scones and cookies with your brain washing boyfriend."
"He's English, they call them biscuits. We learned that our-"
"Second year! I don't care!" Gene kicked at a dirt mound on the forest floor. "Lexie, what have you gotten yourself into?!"
"Gene. It's... Nothing. Nothing's going to happen to me."
"Except kidnappings, getting shot, getting gassed, or even getting murdered!"
"It's an occupational hazard?" The Chef meekly said, shrinking in on herself when Gene whirled around, holding his hands out like he wanted to strangle her. He was still a few feet away, at least.
"You-" His hands were in the air again. "You're fucking crazy!"
"I mean, kinda comes with the territory of living in Gotham. Gotta be a little crazy to live here." The Chef lowered herself to the ground stretching her legs out.
"They're going to kill you!"
"No they won't." The Chef firmly stated. Gene kept pacing. "They're my friends. It started rough, rocky. It wasn't easy, in the beginning, I'm sure they would have killed me. But they know they can trust me, and I can trust them. Hatter, Riddler, Scarecrow and Crane took care of me when I was sick, led the charge when I was kidnapped by Red Hood, Riddler came to my rescue again when I got gassed and made sure I was mentally okay. He took me to a beach!"
"Riddler, too!?" Gene wheezed out, sounding like a kettle.
"Yep. Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman gave me a make over, some real girly shit, Noriko would be jealous. Penguin and I... Well we're friendly, I wouldn't say friends, really. He's got good champagne in that limo of his." The Chef laughed. "Hell, he paid for my trip to Metropolis! They threw my a Thanksgiving, I didn't have to cook! And a Christmas party!"
"What?!" Gene stopped his pacing, mouth agape, but Alexandera didn't stop. Couldn't. It's like the last year was suddenly rushing to the forefront of her brain, and spilling out her mouth.
"I play video games with Riddler, I have tea parties with Hatter. Scarecrow and Crane, we watch b rated horror movies and heckle them like we're Elvira or something. Harley and I text each other for girlie shit or when she's feeling sad, or I need advice. Al and I make food together and he does my makeup! Damien and I-" The Chef slapped her hand over her mouth.
"Damien? The kid?! He's a villain, too?!"
"No... He's..." The Chef groaned, pissed at herself for the slip up. Oh well, no going back now. "He's one of the Robins."
"One of... He's 9!"
"Fourteen, actually. His birthday is coming up, you should come."
"His birthday? You just told me he's Robin, and you're inviting me to his birthday party?!"
"Believe me, I was ready to kick his dad's ass when I found out, but... Well the brats... He's... Fuck it ain't my place to say, but trust me, he's scarier that all the Rogues combined."
"His dad knows?! What kinda of fucking crazy ass city is this!"
"Of course his dad knows..." The Chef trailed off, and Gene's jaw dropped.
"No..."
"Yeah."
"NO WAY!"
"Better than the Metropolis gossip column, huh? You still got that whiskey on you?" Gene looked at her with wide, unseeing eyes, as he pulled the bottle from the waistband of his uniform pants. He trudged heavily towards the Chef, sitting down next to her as he unscrewed the lid. He took another swig, before passing the bottle.
"Bruce Wayne is..."
"Yep. Mommy and Daddy issues. Makes you wonder why I didn't become a hero." Alexandera joked, gulping down a few swallows. Gene grabbed the bottle back before she got her fill.
"What's next, Lex Luthor is Superman?!?" Gene suddenly whirled around, grabbing the Chef's arm. "Is he?!" She laughed.
"No! Trust me! I don't think there's wig glue strong enough to stay on when you're flying around the world at the speed of light." Gene blinked, then laughed weakly.
"Yeah... No, I don't think so." Gene pulled another drag from the bottle. "So is that why... Why you're so confident you won't get hurt. Because you know Batman and Robin?"
"Fuck Batman! Guys an ass with more aspiration than effort. And Damien... He... Knows, but he trusts my judgement."
"Doesn't he like, beat them up every week?"
"Not in the past year." The Chef said slyly. "A funny thing happens when you treat a criminal like a person. They act like a person. You should know, you did the same for me." Gene flinched, his grip on her arm loosening.
"You weren't-"
"Gene, Ive never told anyone how hard it was for me before Metropolis. Before Greg and Beth. I stole food, money. Broke into a few cars so I could sleep somewhere warm." The Chef smiled grimmly. "I'm just as bad as the average Joe out here. Only difference is I was given the chance to be a person. And I took it. You were my chance. And when. I realized that I wasn't that person for you, I left because you deserved to find that person. Now..." The Chef trailed off, flopping backwards to lie down, the warm buzz starting up.
"And now?"
"Now I'm that person for Damien. For Gary. For Kyle. For Marcus. For Jervis. For Edward. Hell, even after getting gassed, I'm sure I'm still that person for Crane and maybe even Crow, once they come out of hiding. I'm that person for all the goons now under my command." She nudged Gene's thigh. "You are too, now."
"Me?!"
"For all the dumbasses that work for me now. They looked happy today. Know how rare that is for people like us?" Alexandera smiled at Gene, and he looked even more shocked at her smile. "Life is ugly and dangerous, it just depends how bad it is with the opportunities you're given. I'm just... Paying it forward? Ugh, listen to me. Maybe I did suck some of that goodness out of you." Gene chocked, laughing.
"You sucked something outta me." The Chef smacked his arm. They stayed like that for a while. Listening to birds, and insects, and leaves rustling overhead. Gene took another swallow passing the bottle to Alexandera.
"Beauty tamed the Beasts."
"I wouldn't say tamed. They still have their moments."
"Who doesn't?" Gene whispered. "I'm sorry for yelling. Not for what I said, I still think you're crazy and this is way too dangerous, but... I trust you can ... survive?"
"It's all we can really do, in the end."
"Yeah." Silence, again. "So... What's Hatter like?"
"A sappy, overly energetic, romantic puppy who can't hold his liquor." Alexandera chuckled. "He set up this whole romantic dinner, with a four string band, and fancy food. He even sewed me this beautiful dress. He got so worried about it being perfect though, he ended up 'down the rabbit hole'."
"What happened?" Gene gently pressed, before he laid down next to her.
"I kissed him, shocked him so much I was able to take off his hat, breaking the connection to his mind control." The Chef frowned a bit. "Poor guy ended up sobbing on his knees, when he realized what he'd done."
"Oh that's... Kinda..."
"Pathetic?"
"I was gonna say sad, but yeah."
"It's okay, we ended going to a bar afterwards. The man has no poker face."
"Has he ever tried to hurt you?"
"Not at all. Think he'd self flagellate if he even scratched me. The only one that hurt me was Crow." The Chef frowned again. "But... When I think about it, I don't think the goal was to harm, per se."
"That fear gas has killed people before!"
"Yeah but... Crane and Crows whole thing is conquering fear. Learning about it." Alexandera groaned. "And thinking back, Crow seemed pretty upset that I was crying... Ah fuck, they aren't hiding from my Boys, they're hiding from me." She'd need to fix that too. After Jervis. And that light in her diner. And ordering more eggs.
"Why do you prefer to him like that?"
"Hmm? Oh. Well... It's... Think Jekyll and Hyde mixed with The Exorcist."
"He's possessed? Yeah, and I'm Cyborg."
"Superman is an alien from Kansas." The Chef snorted. "Who's Cyborg?"
"He's a... Cyborg. Part of the Titans, out in Jump City."
"Clever. Real champ at naming things."
"Bat. Man." Gene deadpanned.
"Point taken."
"Wait how do you know Superman's origin, but not about Cyborg?" Gene laughed.
"Listen, I don't seek out the 'hot gos', but I lived in Metropolis, too, Samurai. I learned it by osmosis back in the day."
"Fair enough. Jeez, I need to brush up on my hometown heroes." He turned his head, Alexandera doing the same. He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm not looking into the villains for you."
"Ugh! Dick!" The Chef rolled over slightly to push herself up, stomping away from Gene as he laughed behind her.
"Look, you don't need a villain boyfriend in every zip code! You already got one."
"I'm using your toothbrush to clean my sink drains!"
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still no laptop so hopefully there aren't too many spelling errors. hope y'all enjoyed!