A/N Now for a bit of fun.

It took Snape approximately 1.2 seconds to break out laughing louder than he ever had in his life. "Tell me you're joking."

Sellers grimaced and looked away. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

Snape could hardly speak through the grin on his face. "This guy is brilliant. Anyone showing the least little embarrassment will stand out like a mountain troll. Not to mention their lily-white arse. You won't be able to get within twenty feet before he spots you."

Sellers growled. "Obviously, this changes things." The crowd was getting a bit loud. The shock and gleeful titter of the aurors did not amuse their superior. "SILENCE! If you've forgotten why we are here, you can go back to the DMLE right now and turn in your badges!" They quieted down immediately. "Thanks to Granger over there, we may have already blown our cover. This means we can't go by our original plan. I'm looking for two volunteers, male and female, to go inside and give us a better idea of what we're up against."

You could have heard crickets chirping. Snape rolled his eyes. Not only had he been naked in a room full of naked death eaters at revels, but he'd been made to… perform… in front of them. Simply being naked in public was a breeze. "I'll go Sellers. You take the children back to base. I'll let you know what I find."

The minister scowled. "You're not going alone. Someone has to watch your back. GRANGER! You're going in with him. The rest of you get back to base."

Snape rolled his eyes at the gigantic awkwardness of working with the woman who had dragged, hauled and mothered him back from death with her bare hands, then made him wish she hadn't. He hoped she had lost that desire to cosset him. He was not an invalid now.

He had to admit they had developed a prickly friendship during his recovery. With on again / off again arguments over his progress. She never let him give in to his despair when the pain or his memories became too much. After she had sat her NEWTs and gotten O's in all of them, the next he had heard she was in Australia. Granger had told him about erasing her parents' memories of her. They had often spoken about methods to restore them. He later found out that she had indeed restored her parents, but they had built a life down there and preferred to stay.

With such high marks and magical experience under her belt, Granger truly was the golden girl and had her pick of any post she liked. Why she decided to follow Harry as an auror was a mystery to him. He couldn't think of her wasting her talents in such a way, but there it was. Perhaps it was some kind of stepping stone for her. With any luck it was not some ill-gotten sense of responsibility for Harry after all they'd been through.

So many people apparating at the same time caused a minor tornado, highlighting Snapes' exasperation. "I don't need a chaperon, Sellers! Granger will only get in my way." The slight blush could only be noticed if you were very close to him. Him being naked was one thing, her being naked…

Hermione stood in her undercover muggle clothes, but they were far from being what Snape would call "Plain Clothes". Her tight jeans accentuating a butt you could bounce a shekel on. The sassy white crop top was much too short to be decent, and was accentuated by the ponytail going down her back. A typical teenager out for a day at the fair. All together they made his blood pressure rise. What would happen when she removed them?

The know-it-all had to defend herself from the accusation of incompetence. "It's a private muggle club. I couldn't break the law and just trespass. I couldn't get in without a membership. There are no breaks in the walls and the doorman was very tight lipped about what's going on in there. Our conversation got so heated I had to obliviate him. I spoke with at least twenty people throughout the day as they were going in or out. I did notice they acted rather strange when I asked them about what they did in there, but the answers seemed to be innocuous."

"Sellers I will not carry this chit…."

Hermione was furious. "I am a fully qualified and capable auror Mr. Snape. Besides, this was my error, and I need to do this."

Sellers had heard enough and cut Severus off. "Save it Snape. She's a professional and she's going with you. There may be places where she can go, and you can't." He looked directly at the female auror, his voice was softened and concerned. "It's okay Granger. You don't have to do this. I can't order you to get naked and hang around with him all afternoon, even if it may be the break we need."

Granger looked up at Snape, closed her eyes and let out a long breath. Her eyes focused on Sellers again. "I can do this sir. I want to do this."

Sellers was proud of her. "So be it. Just go in, look around and get the layout of the place and then get out. See if you sense anything. No arrests today unless the bastard is standing next to you with a body part. Got it?"

Granger nodded, "Yes sir."

Snape growled.

oopOqoo

They both turned and began the walk out of the woods and across the street to the entrance. "I would like to afford you some privacy auror Granger. Please stay behind me."

"Unnecessary and impractical Mr. Snape. We need to be on watch for each other. If I disappear from behind you, you will never know. I'd rather be a little bit embarrassed than taken for parts."

They stood at the rustic entrance. "Are you ready?"

Granger nodded and raised her chin as she opened the screen door. Snape could hear her whisper to herself. "I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have nothing to be ashamed of. This could save lives."

Snape chuckled at her determination as he followed behind her. Most of the muggles in the line that had formed had gone in.

Inside looked as primitive as the outside. Unfinished, yet smooth wood planks made up the floor, walls and reception desk. No worry about splinters at least. An older man stood there smoking a pipe and reading a newspaper on the desk. All you could see was his hairy bare chest. Snape thanked the gods for small favors.

The man looked up at the couple and smiled. "Welcome, Welcome to Adam's Apple. I don't remember you two. Is this your first time with us?"

Granger pipped up to answer. "Yes. We have a friend who told us all about this place and the peace of mind he had found here. We thought we would try it out. Do you mind if we look around a little and see if it's something we could… enjoy?"

The rather portly man with a balding head and bright blue eyes took a draw on his pipe. "Of course, but we do have a few rules here. What is the name of your friend? We are very careful not to allow lookey-loos here. You must have a referral."

Snape watched as Granger stammered a bit trying to cover their tracks. "His name is ahh, John. I met him at a party, and he just raved about this place."

The man behind the counter was suspicious as he opened a registration book. "John who?"

"Well, I… I don't quite know. It was a loud party, and I don't think he even said.

Snape knew they would be rejected at this rate. He discreetly aimed his wand at the man "Confundus." The muggle now wore a blank smile as Snape whispered. "You know John. He told you we were coming and you're going to let us in now aren't you?"

Auror Granger was not at all happy with what Snape did, but it worked.

The muggle opened the door without a second thought, giving their hands a green stamp. Hermione stared at it, knowing that in a way, it was the killer's mark. "This way. Remember NO ONE goes in with their clothes on. There are lockers for your things at the back. Then you are free to roam the grounds. There is a beach area, formal gardens, a forested area with tables and chairs, and a rock garden with benches. Remember our motto. 'Independence of thought and absolute freedom of expression'. This place is not a brothel. There are no orgies. It's a decent community of men, women and children as nature meant us to be, so check your disapproval and embarrassment at the door. The resort closes at dusk. Be sure you're back by then or get locked in for the night."

Always the gentleman, Snape stood aside to let auror Granger go in first. The empty locker room was just exactly that. A room with small lockers like a bus station. There were no walls to divide the space or hide behind, although there were benches to sit on and two doors for bathrooms. Snape chuckled at the nervous and perplexed look on Granger's face. He decided to take pity on the poor woman. "If you can't get naked in here, you can't be of any use to me out there. If you show any sign of this not being completely normal he's going to spot you. Why don't you go back and let me handle this?"

Hermione looked him in the eye defiantly and began to unbutton her jeans. "We're here to do a job. If you can take it, then so can I." She went to a locker and opened the door. Not quite hiding behind it, she turned her back as she removed her top and bra.