"You're just like me but with your mother's idealism and that is a horrible combination."
-Darth Vader to Leia, Chapter 9
XxX
Chapter 4: The Alderaan problem
Day 1 - Centaxday
There were twelve marks. Twelve tiny scratch marks on the wall – not eleven. Not eleven. Leia took a deep breath. Then another. Then another.
She was alive. She was alive and it was the next day and holy fuck she'd made Vader run away from her.
Laughter bubbled up from somewhere inside her, hysterical laughter that spilled out of her and threatened to drown her.
She didn't know how long she'd been tortured every day, dying every day but it was over, it was over, it was over.
Or was it?
Leia stopped laughing and raised her eyes. She was still in a cell. The Imperials still hadn't gotten any information out of her. Maybe Vader would return. Maybe he'd sent someone else instead.
But in any case, she had broken the loop. She had made it to the next day and even if they continued to torture her, at some point her body would give in and she'd die or be executed or – she allowed herself that small hope – or maybe the droids would make it home and the Rebellion would find a way to blow this monstrosity to smithereens.
In any case, her time in this cell was limited now. She would be free soon.
That's the thought she held onto during the day. This time she actually did get fed, even if it was only rations being pushed through a flap in her door. She was even somewhat well rested. Though she had been plagued by nightmares, there had been none of that constant light switching. Had the Empire given up on traditional torture after just one day?
Eventually two Stormtroopers came to collect her and bring her to the bridge. Tarkin was there and Vader too, standing at the wall as if he was just another security guard. He did dismiss the guard and secured her personally though before dragging her in front of Tarkin.
Leia sneered at the Dark Lord. She couldn't feel any weird emotions from him this time around but she could feel his presence like a dark cloud surrounding her. This man, no, this monster had plagued her nightmares for the past months. It was odd seeing him perform a task normally left to ordinary troopers. Her gaze flickered to Tarkin – and wasn't it odd to feel some kind of weird relief at seeing another face beside Vader, any other face?
"Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board", she mocked, feeling strangely light headed.
"Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life", Tarkin answered in kind.
"I'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself."
"Princess Leia, before your execution, I'd like you to join me for a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now."
Leia scoffed. „The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers."
"Not after we demonstrate the capabilities of this station. In a way, you have determined the choice of the planet that is to be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power on your home planet of Alderaan."
He turned around and now that he was no longer blocking her view, Leia could pay attention to the view out of the giant glass window. What she saw almost made her heart stop.
It was her home. There was no mistaking it, the blue and green planet out there, that was Alderaan. She could just make out the distinctive shapes of its continents under the cloud cover.
She knew what that meant. She was standing on the Death Star, a weapon meant to destroy entire planets. But Tarkin wouldn't… He wouldn't…
"No! Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons, you can't possibly..."
"You would prefer another target, a military target? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time: Where is the rebel base?" Tarkin interrupted her harshly.
Leia stared at him. So that was what this was about. Seriously? They were holding her planet hostage, her entire planet just so she'd tell them were the rebel base was? They were no longer searching for the plans, instead they wanted to wipe out the whole rebellion.
She couldn't tell them were the base was of course. She… She hadn't gone through all that just to give up now. But if she didn't say something and soon too, then Alderaan would…
"...Dantooine. They're on Dantooine", she said at last, hanging her head defeated. She still felt horrible, it wasn't like Dantooine was entirely uninhabited. But the Empire would at least sent out some people to confirm that the base was on it. Since there actually was one, albeit an abandoned one, she hoped this would at least buy her some time.
"There. You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable", Tarkin said to Vader. "Continue with the operation; you may fire when ready."
"WHAT!?"
"You're far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don't worry; we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough."
She couldn't believe her ears. She couldn't- They couldn't-
It took only seconds. She didn't know how many people were involved to release all the securities on whatever button needed to be pressed to bring death to billions of innocent people but she knew not a single one hesitated for it to only be seconds.
She swore she would see the death of every single one on that chain.
The green super laser charged up and spewed forth its deadly light. And then… Alderaan was gone.
Leia gasped and sacked in Vader's arms. It was as if every single life on her home world, all those billions of people were crying out and then – silence. The silence, oh the silence. She couldn't… It couldn't be… Her parents were down there, her friends, everyone… gone.
Unless…
Leia whirled around and freed herself of the Dark Lord's grip who seemed to be momentarily stunned as well. She grabbed the metal tube hanging from his belt, smugly remembering the half a dozen times she had died finding the fastest way to unclip it and switch it on.
For a split second she thought about killing Vader with his own weapon. He would deserve it, oh how he deserved it but then Tarkin would have her stunned and brought back to her cell. No, she knew what she had to do.
Leia swung the lightsaber at Tarkin, funneling all her fresh hatred and her pain of seeing her home world burn. She didn't get far though.
Vader moved with the speed of a lighting bolt, grabbing her wrist and holding it still. She fought against him, she screamed and shouted and cried but Vader held her securely, pinning both her arms against her body as she fought like a wild animal.
"Let go of me!" she screamed, trying to ram her foot into his crotch. "Let go of me and kill me already! Just do it!"
"Are you sure she hasn't taken permanent damage from the interrogation, Lord Vader?" Tarkin asked with a derisive smile. "Maybe you should kill her right now. She's clearly too dangerous to be left alive."
Yes! Yes; they needed to kill her, they had to. If she died now, there was a chance, however minuscule that whatever had her trapped in that loop would happen again and she would… she could… Alderaan would still be there!
"I will keep her alive until we can verify her information", Vader said in a monotone.
Tarkin made a dismissive gesture. "As you wish."
"No", Leia whispered, seeing her last hope vanish just like this. No, if they kept her alive for even one more day, Alderaan's fate would be set in stone and she could never, ever change it!
"No, you have to kill me, now!" She whirled around in Vader's arms, looking straight at him.
"Please!" she begged, barely believing herself that she was doing this. "Please, just… kill me!" Because if there was one thing she could count on it was that he always ended up killing her.
"Begging for death already? What did you do to her in that cell?" Tarkin mocked. "Maybe you're right though… If she's that afraid of another round of interrogation, we should keep her until we're sure she hasn't lied."
Oh, how she hated him. She hated him so much, she hated him more than even Vader in that moment.
A pair of Stormtroopers stepped forward at the Grand Moff's gesture, grabbed Leia by her arms and started dragging her away. She turned around though before the doors closed behind her. She looked at Vader and she consciously flared her power to get his attention.
"Please, kill me", she whispered both in his mind and out aloud.
Vader didn't even lift a finger to help her.
Of course he didn't.
Leia was dragged outside by two troopers and started to scold herself. What had she been thinking, asking Vader of all people for help? True, she had gotten to know him and true, she was aware there was a more complex person under all that armor, not just a machine – it didn't stop her from hating him. She'd just thought if she could provoke him enough, stealing his weapon, throwing her pain and anguish at him in the Force, he'd lose his temper like he always did and…
But of course he wouldn't help her. The sole reason why he didn't immediately kill her was probably because she'd asked for it. No, if she wanted to accomplish something she had to help herself. Had to… help herself.
Leia's gaze fell on the blaster rifles the troopers were carrying. If she could get her hands on one such weapon… Well, maybe she could take one of them by surprise. Which one? Think fast, faster Leia… The one to her left. He was holding the rifle in his left hand, her arm in his right. It was a heavy weapon, one normally carried in both hands and if he was right-handed like the majority of people, his grip would be less sure.
Decision made Leia let herself sack, pretending to faint and when the trooper stopped she rammed her knee up the crotch of the trooper to her right and stepped on the foot of the trooper to her left, and – and he was hopping backwards away from her, rifle still in hand. Leia could cry in frustration.
"Freeze!" the second trooper behind her shouted.
Leia dodged to the side and his shot missed her. She gritted her teeth as she saw the blue light beam, it would do her no good to be hit by a stun bolt.
She whirled around and faced trooper one who readied his own weapon, a weapon that ought to be in her hands by now!
She reached out with her mind then, her last hope. She had managed before to destroy that interrogation droid, it shouldn't be much harder to make that weapon move towards her.
Suddenly the rifle left the troopers arms. She heard the click of the safety switching itself off and grinned when the metal hit her hands.
The trooper cursed and Leia had to duck under another stun bolt but she had the weapon now. She was so close.
Leia put the barrel under her chin and smirked.
"Long live the Rebellion", she whispered.
One second later, Leia was dead.
XxX
Day 2 - Centaxday
Twelve scratch marks on the wall. Twelve.
Leia scrambled to the wall and brushed the tiny marks, counting them again and again. She was close to hyperventilating and she wasn't sure if she was about to cry or laugh.
She ended up doing both. For nearly an hour, she sat there in absolute hysterics, both relieved beyond belief and deeply hurt by what she had experienced.
She was alive. She was alive and it was a new day and Alderaan still existed.
Alderaan was still… Alderaan would get blown up in a couple of hours.
Leia pulled herself together. She could do this. She had freed herself of an impossible situation once before. This was no different. She was alive. She had a chance.
So what to do? How could she save her home world?
Tarkin had said Dantooine was too remote to target. If she gave him another planet, one closer to the core worlds… Who was she kidding? Tarkin didn't just want to show the galaxy his super weapon worked, he wanted a kill count to back it up. Even if she succeeded in drawing his attention to another planet, it would have to be a populated one. She couldn't possibly condemn an entire planet like that.
Except… Maybe if she gave him a planet that was of importance to the Empire so they would have to waste time proving there was a rebel base and destroying it manually. A planet like Naboo. It was close to Tatooine where she had first been captured, she could say that she'd been on her way there. Naboo was the home world of the Emperor, Tarkin would never dare destroy it without permission and the Emperor would never allow it. Even he couldn't afford the massive media backlash that would entail.
So Leia spend the next couple of hours carefully preparing a story, tiny bits of information that she could let slip that would make it believable that Naboo was the seat of the Rebellion. When the troopers came to collect her she was still far from ready and fear sat in every one of her pores but she managed to let none of it show on her face.
She didn't bother with any snide remarks when she was led towards Tarkin and secured in Vader's grip. She was not concerned with upholding her reputation or keeping her pride, not anymore. She consciously let her cool mask slip though when Tarkin started talking about using Alderaan to make an example.
"No, not my… not Alderaan, please", she whispered, letting one of a hundred sobs escape her throat that had build up over the day.
"You prefer another target, a military one then name the system!" Tarkin snapped.
Leia bowed her head. "Naboo", she whispered, "We're on Naboo."
She could feel Vader's grip tighten around her arms, sure to leave bruises.
"See Lord Vader, she can be reasonable", the Governor said smugly.
Vader moved his head very slowly and stared at Tarkin. "She is lying."
Rage welled up in her. "I am not!" she protested. "It was the only place aside from Imperial Center itself that you'd never search for or that you wouldn't use gas or biological weapons or… or this monstrosity on. The base is deep in the jungles, away from any major cities!"
"In the swamps, were the GunGuns dwell?" Vader asked.
Leia remembered vaguely something about Naboo having mixed representatives, the humans and some amphibian species. She nodded. "Yes, that's where it is. The GunGuns support the Rebellion because of the Empire's poor treatment of non-humans."
The grip around her arm tightened even more.
"GunGuns hidd in underwater cities, Princess. If the base was truly there, you'd know that." Vader turned to Tarkin again. "I am familiar enough with the Princess after our little… chat to tell when she's lying."
"Well, I will trust your judgement on this then, Lord Vader. I would hate to have to go back all the way anyway." Tarkin turned to his staff. "Continue with-"
"No!" Leia shouted. "If you do this now, I swear you'll never learn where the rebel base is! I'll tell you nothing!"
"Sad as I am to admit this, Princess, if you aren't telling the truth now, you probably never will. You will watch your home world burn… and then I'll have Lord Vader terminate you."
Leia took a deep breath – and then spit right into Tarkin's face.
"I will have your head for this, Tarkin. I will have your head", she swore.
Tarkin closed his eyes for a moment, then pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the spit from his face. "You are a poor loser, girl. Such behaviour is hardly becoming of a princess."
"Go fuck yourself."
"Continue with the operation. Fire when ready."
The pain wasn't any lesser than it had been the first time around. Even though she had expected it, Leia was still almost brought to her knees by the onslaught she felt in what she was now sure was the Force. Tarkin kept talking over her head but she couldn't hear a single word of it. She just hung there in Vader's arms, defeated. But still, there was a determination in her, a burning rage that refused to die. She would come back. If they didn't execute her immediately, she would overwhelm the troopers that took her back into her cell and she'd kill herself. And she'd be back. She would be back.
"What is it, Lord Vader? Kill her now. The ceremony is over."
Again, the hands around her forearms were gripping her hard enough to leave bruises but Vader made no move otherwise.
"It might be wise to leave her alive for a little longer", he said at last.
Leia started up at him with a mixture of shock and… betrayal. Why, oh why did he insist on that? He had killed her so many times and now that she wanted it, he changed his mind? What was wrong with him?
"And why would that be?" Tarkin asked. "She's obviously no good for us for information. Or do you want to try interrogate her again?"
Vader remained silent.
"She has outlived her purpose. Kill her. That is an order."
Vader let go of her abruptly as if she'd burned him. He stepped towards Tarkin in an – she couldn't believe her eyes – almost threatening manner.
"You do not give me orders, Tarkin. Nobody but the Emperor does."
"The Emperor gave me full authority to clean up where you failed, Lord Vader."
"She will be left alive until I say otherwise. That is an order Tarkin and I dare you to take this to the very top."
Leia couldn't believe she was siding with Tarkin on this. By the stars, those two could go and fuck each other once they were done comparing sizes.
Since she was no longer being held down, Leia considered making a run for the door. But she absolutely could not risk getting stunned now or even just secured with handcuffs. Though she might loathe it, she had to cooperate at least until she was alone with a few troopers.
Tarkin and Vader were continuing their weird stand-off.
Vader won.
Tarkin's lips curled in disgust. "Very well, Lord Vader. Do with your prisoner what you want. I have bigger fish to catch."
The Dark Lord turned around with a swish of his cape.
"Take her", he commanded two troopers. Leia shot them a glare full of disdain and ripped her arm free when one of them tried to grab her.
"I can walk on my own!" she spat at him. The trooper hesitated but as she made no further attempts to struggle, he let her walk in between himself and his companion without holding onto her.
Unfortunately, Vader followed them outside as well.
Leia's thoughts raced. Panicked, she wondered how she could get herself killed with Vader around when he, for whatever strange reason, didn't want to see her dead.
Fortunately, that problem solved itself when Vader stopped just a few minutes of walking later.
"Take her back to her cell", he ordered the troopers. "I want a medical checkup done on her and a blood sample send to the lab."
"Aye, Sir", the said with a salute.
Medical check-up? Blood sample?
Leia's thoughts raced. What was happening?
"Why are you doing this?!" Leia snapped at her tormentor. "First you come to torture me and now you're suddenly concerned for my health!? What's wrong with you?"
One of the troopers gave her a slap on the back of her head, not enough to injure her but enough to hurt.
"Don't address Lord Vader like that!" he snapped.
Too used to pain by now, Leia completely ignored him and stared at Vader instead. He met her gaze, unmoving, his emotions hidden behind a wall as he watched her being lead away. He didn't give her an answer.
Fuming, Leia waited until the troopers lead her down another two corridors. Then, she attacked them.
A few seconds later, she was dead.
XxX
Day 3 - Centaxday
Leia woke up with a start to the view of twelve scratch marks on her wall.
She had no idea how they'd gotten stuck in the time loop. Dying seemed to reset it but how many tries did she really have? Did it matter when or how she died? When all she wanted was to get out of the loop, even if it meant dying, those questions hadn't mattered. But now the fate of Alderaan was on the line. Now, she had to preserve the loop until she found a way to save her planet.
She would stick to what she knew was working then. Try and change different things until she met Tarkin and if that didn't work, kill herself once Alderaan was... Alderaan was...
Leia sobbed, remembering all those lives, snuffed out by the press of a button. She swore she was able to feel it. It had been a bit similar to the way she suddenly started feeling random emotions from Vader in her last successful loop. It must've been the Force. Vader had said she was naturally gifted in it.
If Leia truly was Force-sensitive, could she somehow use that to her advantage? But how? Attacking Vader or Tarkin wouldn't do her any good. Unless she got them both, the other was likely to still destroy Alderaan to punish her. The Empire had a pretty clear top down hierarchy so even if she did kill both, someone else was likely to take their place.
She had to find a way to convince Tarkin to spare Alderaan instead. Lying to him wouldn't work as long as Vader was present. He'd always been able to see right through her. Even if she did convince him the rebel base was somewhere else, Tarkin might blow up her planet just because. What could change the mind of a man like that if he'd already decided on a course of action before she even entered the room?
... Vader had changed his mind. Tarkin had wanted Leia dead but Vader had spoken up against the decision and he'd gotten his way. If Vader spoke up against the destruction of Alderaan, would Tarkin relent? A few days of delay was all Leia needed, if the Rebellion had gotten the plans. Leia had managed to change Vader's mind about killing her in the first loop so she probably would have better luck working on him than on Tarkin. Except in the last loop, she had about an hour of time alone with Vader while he tortured her. In this loop, she would have mere seconds. In addition, Leia wasn't even sure what she'd done or said to make Vader spare her. It had something to do with the Force, she was sure. He'd said her 'presence' had changed. He'd said she had mental shields that had been tested many times. It seemed during the two months of daily sessions with the dark Force-user, Leia's own natural talent had improved and sharpened and somehow, he'd sensed that progress.
But even if Leia now spend the next couple of months honing her Force abilities till she grew powerful enough to once more surprise Vader, what good would that do her? Vader literally killed Jedi for a living. It wouldn't save her life, it would just endanger her more. It wouldn't save Alderaan, it would just be another crime in her parent's record: harboring a Jedi.
Why had Vader spared her when he realized she had a talent for using the Force? Shouldn't it have been the other way around? Shouldn't that make her a bigger threat that should be killed off faster? Her refusal to talk during interrogation might explain why Tarkin used Alderaan to pressure her. But it didn't explain why Vader wanted to keep her alive when even that failed.
He'd wanted her to have a medical check up and to have a blood sample drawn.
Could something like Force-sensitivity be discovered in a blood test? Leia didn't know. Even if that was the case though, it shouldn't matter. Vader already knew she could use the Force. The only thing a test would do for him was give him information to show to other people who could not use the Force.
Like Tarkin.
Would it help her if Tarkin knew she was Force-sensitive? Or would it make things worse?
If Leia could somehow prove her Force-sensitivity before she was dragged before the Grand Moff, it might strengthen Vader's case to let her live. Again, she didn't know why her Force-sensitivity made him want to keep her alive. She might assume he wanted to draw her to his side, make her work for him or something. But she'd never been anything but obviously hostile towards him so she couldn't imagine how he'd think that would ever be possible. There was nothing Vader could do or say that would ever make Leia consider working for him.
Not even if it saved Alderaan?, a mean little voice whispered in her head.
That... was not a question she was willing to contemplate. It wouldn't matter because even if Leia were willing, Vader would never trust her enough to keep her word, not after a mere two days and without any significant torture (that he could remember).
But still, if she could find out the reason why Vader wanted her alive, find out what he wanted from her, maybe she could find leverage too. Maybe even enough of a leverage to convince him to spare her planet.
Still, the problem was that she'd see Vader for the first time today on the bridge.
Leia scowled. In the last loop, she'd used memories and emotions to not just bolster her shield but tried to push them onto Vader. It seemed her attack had worked as it had made him turn away from her. Some kind of... connection had sprung up between them that was revealing his emotions to her. Yesterday, that connection had been gone or at least blocked off. But maybe she could reopen it? Leia didn't know if proximity played a role but if not, maybe she could draw Vader's attention towards her through the Force.
So Leia sat down on her cot, taking deep breaths, trying to remember what it felt like when she'd touched Vader in the Force.
Almost immediately, she noticed something off.
This wasn't the first time the young Princess had tried meditation. It was a stress-relief method she'd used before, it wasn't just useful for monks and Jedi after all. Before, she'd usually visualize her body to be slowly filled with golden light, trickling through her head and filling up all her limps until she was completely relaxed. She went through that same process now. Breathing in and out. Letting go of all stray thoughts until she was calm. Then she visualized the light, trickling in. Her head first, her torso, down her arms into her fingertips. Then down her tights, into her legs and her every toe. Then streaming outward, through that thick cord attached to her navel, out and out and - wait a moment.
Where the fuck was that cord coming from?
Leia snapped her eyes open, concentration lost. It was just a visualization exercise. She hadn't made the conscious decision to fill up a non existent fifth limp. And yet she'd been able to see it as clearly as she saw the rest of her body.
Hesitantly Leia closed her eyes again. Calming her racing heart, she looked for that golden rope and easily found it again. It was leading away, into the nothingness around her. Carefully, she filled it up again, imagining light to stream down the rope like water filling a pipe. Further down and down it went. After ten minutes she grew impatient and pushed further, increasing the speed the light travelled with.
Finally, the light-water crashed against an obstacle, doubling back and jamming up the pipe.
Leia was not imagining that obstacle. She tried to visualize breaking through it but it was as if her thought slipped off the obstacle like water slid from a Wookie's wet fur.
She drew her light-water back, way back, and then pushed it forward again, determined, increasing the speed to the maximum she could imagine.
Again it hit a wall. So she drew back and hit it again. And again. And again. And-
"What!?"
Leia gave an undignified screech and fell from her cot. The word had echoed loudly in her head, as if someone was screaming into her ear. She nearly had a heart attack because that was Vader's voice.
Leia tentatively felt for the golden bond. It seemed when she'd lost concentration, all the light-water had just drained right out of it. But the bond was still there. It was filled with black water instead. No, it was filled with dirty sewage, a disgusting slush that made her retch.
"What do you want, Princess?" Vader's voice sounded again, thoroughly annoyed. Yet the fearsome commander was nowhere to be seen.
He was speaking to her through the Force.
Leia panicked. She imagined hacking off the offensive rope but it was like taking a butter knife to a steel cable. She imagined clogging her end of the connection with a big stone - like a clump of frozen light-water. The latter seemed to help for the next time she heard Vader, his voice was much more quiet, as if it came from far away.
"You're the one who contacted me, Princess. I don't have time for your games."
She had contacted him? Leia had suspected that the rope might symbolize some kind of Force connection. But to know how easy it was to use, how effortless, it scared her. Could Vader read her mind like this? Could she read his?
Leia focused back on the bond and mentally touched it carefully. She imagined it to be a comm devise and carefully formulated the thoughts she wanted to share, speaking towards the bond.
"I didn't know what I was doing. What is this thing between us? Where did it come from? Why is it here?"
For some reason, Leia had the distinct impression Vader was rolling his eyes.
"I'm not your Master, I won't explain basics of Force philosophy to you. You're the one who forged that bond. Unless you want to confess your crimes and tell me all you know about the Rebellion, we have nothing to say to each other."
Leia sputtered. "I created this bond?! That's absurd! You're absurd! Why would I want to be connected to you?!"
"Force bonds are not always formed intentionally", Vader replied. "I imagine you must've thought about and hated me for a long time. Way longer than I was hunting for you."
Leia winced.
"A-About two months?" she guessed. There had indeed been little other than Vader she'd thought about since she first got captured.
She got a sense of curiosity from him."Is that how long you and your rebel friends have planned this mission?"
"I'm not a rebel", she said automatically.
"You're lying again", Vader replied, annoyed. "You don't need to bother, not when we're talking like this. I will notice. I already know you're a rebel and you know I know it. So long as you don't voice your thoughts aloud, they cannot be recorded and used against you. Your dishonesty only serves to shame you. Face your end with a bit of dignity, Princess."
Fury bubbled up in Leia. "How dare you talk to me about dishonesty and shame!? You're a monster! You feed off the pain and misery of others like a parasite! You probably have more stupid Force bonds to people who hate you than a spider has strands in her net!"
If Leia had been thinking coherently (and if she wasn't counting on having to kill herself in a few hours anyway) she probably wouldn't have dared to reveal her inner thoughts so openly and provoke the cyborg. But he did not answer her with anger, as she would've expected. Instead, she was hit with a minor wave of amusement.
"That's an interesting picture. But I must disappoint you. Force-bonds only form between two Force-sensitives. Those with the right inclination that hate me don't usually live long enough to forge any bonds. Your metaphor is more fitting for the Emperor. He has personally trained and reforged many young minds to his whims. Like a big old spider, indeed..."
"You think that's funny!?" Leia asked.
"Yes."
The open admission unsettled her. Compared to their previous interactions, Vader was outright friendly.
"Is that why you're speaking to me? Because I'm amusing you?" she wanted to know. If Vader saw in her nothing but a weird little girl, a passing fancy, she doubted he'd get in Tarkin's way for her. Yet he already had done exactly that once so she hoped there was more.
"I happen to have nothing better to do", Vader replied glibly.
Nothing better to do? Vader had been personally put in charge of making sure the galaxy suffered enough so that people like him - and apparently the Emperor, what a surprise - could feed off the pain of countless sentient beings. Honestly, he should have a hard time saving himself from being buried in work. At the very least, he should have some other poor sods to torture.
Curious and daring, Leia reached for the Force bond again. She pushed her clogged water-light-stone (she had to find a better name for it) forward, pushing Vader's influence back as she filled the bond back up with light again. The faint sense of amusement and being watched remained as Vader observed her progress. Eventually, she reached the end of the bond, hitting what she now knew to be his mental shields. She crashed her wave of light-water against it.
"What does that feel like?" she wondered.
"Like this", Vader replied.
Suddenly, about a thousand times faster than she'd done it, Vader flooded the bond back up again with his own sewage. Leia's golden filled body was suddenly swimming in darkness, a black water that licked at her but was unable to penetrate. Leia squeaked and fell off her cot again. Aside from the mere forced visualization, she'd also felt a very much physical full body shudder. It was as if someone was brushing a feather down the entirety of her naked spine.
It took her a couple of moments to gather herself. She had the sudden fantasy of Darth Vader sitting in a meeting room full of Moffs when suddenly she rang his metaphorical door bell and he fell off his chair because she doused him in liquid light.
She could still feel Vader's presence. Still feel his faint amusement, his patience as he waited to see whether she would continue the conversation.
Leia had gotten way off track again. She'd wanted to find out what Vader saw in her to find leverage to use to save her planet. Yet never would she have imagined to actually enjoy talking to the cyborg. The Princess felt very conflicted about that. But after months of worrying and being tortured she just... she needed a break.
"Okay", she admitted once she found the bond again. "I admit, that was funny." She remembered her short fantasy, focusing on the picture in her mind, intend to send it to him.
Again, she expected him to grow angry at her mockery. Instead, he returned a sensation of incredulity and then more amusement.
He thought it was funny too.
Who ever knew she would share a sense of humour with Darth Vader?
But that's not where they stopped.
"I actually did exactly that once", Vader shared and returned a picture to her. It blossomed before her eyes like the colours you'd see when squeezing your eyes shut too tightly. She saw a circular room, flooded with light. The wall was lined with curved white leather seats in which various aliens were sitting. Some of them were only present as holograms. No noise or voices accompanied the image. Suddenly one of the seated individuals, a red-haired middle-aged human male, flinched seemingly out of nowhere so hard he fell from his seat, having to grab the armrest to not plant his face on the ground. All the other beings turned to look at him. The red haired man smiled sheepishly.
The vision faded.
"That was you?" Leia asked astonished. She'd never imagined what Vader would look like without cybernetics but if she had, she certainly would've never suspected it to be something like that.
"Of course not. I was on the other end of the bond, tugging his chain. I was in the middle of battle, needing reinforcements urgently. I had no idea he was in the middle of a meeting with the Jedi High Council."
Leia's thoughts came to a screeching halt. Those beings in that vision, they were...?
"You were a Jedi!?" asked incredulously.
At once she could feel an echo of her own emotions, like a stumble. The sewage was draining from the bond.
"That was a long time ago..."
The words were much fainter this time. Vader was drawing back, having realized that he'd shared too much. But Leia had zero intention to let him go that easily.
Leia flooded the bond back up again, following where Vader retreated. Where her light met his darkness, she grabbed on, like she would grasp the arm of someone turning away from her.
"Oh no you don't!" she snapped. "You can't just drop something like that and then vanish!"
Vader flicked the bond, the entire rope making a sudden swishing motion that flung off Leia, forcing her back to her end of the bond. When Vader spoke next his voice was still faint, as was the annoyance bleeding through.
"There's nothing else to say. I cut ties with the order when they betrayed the Empire. Literally. I told you all my enemies who knew me well enough to forge a bond with me were dead."
But Leia refused to let it rest. She'd learned more about Vader in this conversation than in the months before. What could he even do to shut her out, kill her? Been there, done that.
She flooded the bond again. He drew back further, behind his shields and she rushed to follow him. Her golden waves crashed against his mind just as he drew back in fully but not before she caught a tiny glance inside.
Suddenly there was a burning in her lungs. An ache in her tights and shoulders. A pain in her chest. Cool liquid surrounding her. She gave a rattled breath as air was forced down her throat, burning all the way down. Her eyes snapped open and for the fraction of a second, her vision was filled with a green sheen and a lone line of bubbles rising to the surface.
Then Vader's shields snapped shut and Leia found herself back on her cot. Her lungs were working fine, her legs did not ache. Her hands were trembling though.
Leia knew, objectively, that Vader had to either be a cyborg or an alien incapable of breathing the same air as humans. Some instinct had always assured her it was the former. She doubted the human-centric Empire would allow an alien as much power as he had. Yet she'd never thought about what that meant. What kind of injuries would require a full body life support suit. She hadn't realized it was full-body until she saw through his eyes and couldn't feel her legs. Or her arms, for that matter.
Nothing better to do, indeed. With injuries like that, Vader must spend a significant part of his life in a bacta tank.
Leia knew without trying that she wouldn't get anything further out of her tormentor. He'd already shared more than he'd intended. The Princess was no closer to figuring out a way to save her planet but she'd made significant headway in understanding her captor. Somehow, someday, she'd find a way to use that knowledge.
Vader had been a Jedi once. From the sound of it, he'd fought in the Clone Wars. The Jedi had been officially declared traitors when the Empire was declared. Yet when Vader had claimed he'd cut ties with them when they betrayed the Empire, Leia hadn't gotten the sense that he was lying. Of course she had no experience in figuring out what it felt like when somebody lied in the Force. It had sounded like he was just reading off a script, similar to how he was sometimes repeating Imperial propaganda when she'd been questioning him during the first loop. Was he just so used to telling that version of the story? Or did he believe it himself?
Not much was known about the Emperor's mysterious blood hound. He'd just appeared one day, shortly after the Empire was formed. Leia had researched him like she'd researched many high ranking Imperials and knew his first official military victory was a victory over the remains of the Separatist council. But of course the Emperor wouldn't give a mission that important to someone untested. It made a twisted sort of sense to give it to a Jedi, seeing as they'd fought as Generals in the Republic Armed Forces. Where else would he have learned to use the Force at all? Even if she believed his claims that the Emperor had similar powers, it wasn't as if Sheev Palpatine had had any known protégé's at that time.
Or had he?
Leia wracked her brain, trying to remember her history lessons. Who had the Emperor been close to before he became the Emperor? Had there been anyone standing at his side? A Senator? A General? ...a Jedi?
But try as she might, Leia could not remember. A lot of information had been 'lost' in the last days of the war and what remained was redacted propaganda. It was very possible that Leia had never heard of such a person, even if they did exist.
Leia was still thinking about Vader when her door swished open and a squad of troopers came to escort her to the bridge. She remembered what was to come then and fear filled her heart. Instinctively she reached for the bond to Vader and gave it a panicked tug. But the bond remained silent.
Leia was brought before Tarkin, But this time... Her heart sank to her stomach.
This time Vader was absent.
"Coward!" she send along the bond, shouting it in her mind so strongly she was sure he could hear it, even through the closed doors. She knew because she felt him wince.
Tarkin invited her to witness her home planet's destruction.
This time, Leia didn't bother to beg for mercy. Tarkin was visibly disappointed at her lack of reaction.
"I might be persuaded to change the target, Princess", he offered her. "All you have to do is name a military target. Where is the rebel base?"
"Eriadu", she replied spitefully, naming what she knew to be Tarkin's home world.
"It seems you do not realize the seriousness of your situation. I will ask one last time. Where is the rebel base?" the Grand Moff repeated with a light scowl, as if she was nothing but an insect to him.
"Coruscant!" she snapped, imagining pushing all of her hatred at him the way she'd pushed it at Vader.
To her own surprise, that garnered a reaction.
Tarkin gave a sharp hiss, slapping his hand against his temple and falling into a crouch as if he was suddenly hit with a sharp headache. At once a pair of aides where at his side, asking after his health. Tarkin pushed them aside roughly and stood on his own.
"I see that you are not easily broken", he said to her darkly. "No matter. Lord Vader will enjoy taking you apart." He turned away from her abruptly towards the technicians at the head of the bridge.
"Fire at will, Sergeant! Get rid of that traitorous world."
Five seconds later, Alderaan was gone.
As before, the shockwave send Leia to her knees. If possible, she felt it even more strongly now than she had before.
Leia was beyond exhausted as she was dragged away towards her cell. So exhausted she waited to gather her strength until she was almost back in the prison complex before she overwhelmed her guards to get herself a rifle.
Death was a relief to her.
XxX
Day 4 - Centaxday
Twelve scratch marks on the wall.
Leia rolled over and decided to go back to sleep.
She woke up two hours later from her own growling stomach. She hadn't eaten anything but rations in... nearly seventy days now. Her body still thought it was only two. She had water, coming from a small dispenser in the wall but the bland protein sticks she got here were hardly filling.
Dying was unpleasant but Leia found that feeling the death of billions of people was much more exhausting than a mere snapping of her neck. There was no reason for her to witness it again though if she had no plan of action.
So Leia decided that this time around, she'd overwhelm the guards bringing her to the bridge instead. She'd kill herself before Alderaan was destroyed. Caught in her cell there was nothing Leia could do in the hours preceding Alderaan's destruction except talk to Vader via the Force again. That would be what she'd focus on. She'd try to find out more about him, try to find the fastest way to build up a connection so he'd trust her with snippets of his past or his true thoughts. Eventually, she'd chip away at his mask. There was a man lying beneath it somewhere, she knew now. She'd seen his remains.
She woke up two hours later from her own growling stomach. She hadn't eaten anything but rations in... nearly seventy days now. Her body still thought it was only two. She had water, coming from a small dispenser in the wall but t
It took five tugs for him to answer this time.
Again, he was annoyed. Again, he expressed suspicion at how strong the bond was and how she even knew how to use it. Leia deflected his questions, claiming to just do what came natural to her. It was not exactly a lie and that was probably why Vader didn't call her out on it immediately.
Though he was hostile in the beginning, Leia found that just like yesterday, so long as she remained relatively polite, he seemed to warm up quickly and willingly conversed with her.
Instead of Force bonds, Leia tried to talk about something else. She wanted to talk about her father and her mother. She wanted to talk about her childhood and her people, their culture and their holidays and beliefs, hoping to wake some kind of empathy in the cyborg.
But Vader was not interested in any of that. He admonished her for her 'childish whining' and closed off the bond for the rest of the day.
On the plus side, Leia managed to overwhelm the troopers who came to pick her up and she died before she had to see Alderaan destroyed again.
Her days continued like that.
Each time she would start by contacting Vader through the Force. She'd try a different subject each time, slowly building a whole picture of what he was interested in and what would make him grow bored or annoyed. When Vader didn't want to talk to her, she could not get through to him, no matter how hard she tried.
Vader was not interested in anything to do with her personally. He was not interested in her family, her career or her people. He was somewhat interested in her views and opinions about the Empire. Meaning every word she said about that seemed to annoy or infuriate him. Instead of growing bored, he'd send a spike of pain through her head, forcing her to close the bond herself to protect herself.
The one thing that always got him talking though was the same subject she'd initially discovered - the Force. Leia found that if she approached him almost casually, asking for no other reason than that she was bored in her prison cell and he was literally the only person she could talk to - he actually was amendable to explain 'basic Force philosophy' to her, contrary to what he'd claimed before. She had to be careful how she worded her questions. Sometimes she had to remind him that she was unlikely to live through the week so what did it even matter? Eventually though she found just the right words to say to draw him into debates that could last for hours.
Once she was actually still immersed in one when the troopers came to pick her up.
"Oh... The guards are here again. Unless you ordered them here, I guess that means I'll be executed now", she thought at him.
Leia was surprised to feel a twinge of anger. By now she had enough practise in 'Force-talk' that she managed to keep up a nice balance, filling up half of the bond with her light and Vader filling up the other with darkness. In the middle they could communicate clearly, exchanging thoughts, pictures, emotions, even scents (or memories thereof). But what to send him was always a conscious choice. When she picked up an emotion from Vader, it was because he wanted her to know he felt that way. It was an essential part of telepathic communication, he'd explained once, as normally humans would pick up these signs via facial expressions and body language.
"Those men are not there on my behalf. You are my prisoner, you fall under my jurisdiction. I will take care of it, Leia."
Then the connection broke. Leia was confused and surprised. It was the first time Vader had called her by her first name. Not that he had any right to it. And what did he intend to do exactly? The indignation she'd felt from him indicated that he'd had no idea she would be interrogated by Tarkin.
It had been weeks since Leia had last lived long enough to see Alderaan destroyed. But something made her stand up and follow her guards all the way to the bridge today.
This time, Vader was present. And even without accessing the bond, Leia could feel the cold fury roll off of him.
"Princess Leia, before your execution, I'd like you to join me for a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now", Tarkin declared grandly.
Leia took a deep breath, trying to reign in her fury and her fear long enough to wrench the bond open.
"Please. Please don't let him do this."
„The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers", she said aloud.
The bond seemed to sort of vibrate with uncertainty for a moment. Then, a tickle of Vader's darkness slipped into it.
"I cannot. Tell him what you want to know. That is the only way."
"Not after we demonstrate the capabilities of this station", Tarkin replied, unaware of the silent conversation going on between them. "In a way, you have determined the choice of the planet that is to be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power on your home planet of Alderaan."
"There are billions of people living on Alderaan. Billions of martyrs! It'll strengthen the Rebellion. It'll damage galactic economy. It's rip a wound into the Force itself. This is wrong, you know that!"
"Alderaan is peaceful", Leia whispered aloud, tears welling in her eyes. "My people are not at fault."
"You can save them. All you have to do is give us the location of the rebel base. Do that and I promise I will stop him."
Leia lowered her head and the tears dropped onto her white dress.
"I can't."
"You prefer another target, a military one, then name the system! Where is the rebel base?" Tarkin barked.
"What good is all your power, what good is the Force if you can't even prevent one old man from pressing a button?" Leia asked Vader harshly in her mind.
"You forget that you and I are enemies, Princess. It is not that I couldn't stop him. I have no reason to", Vader replied, more coldly now. "There is great potential in you, Princess. Turn away from your path. Join me, and I will keep your people safe. I will make you Queen of Alderaan and grant you and your world more autonomy than any other planet in this galaxy. I will teach you all you want to know about the Force. All you have to do is give me the rebellion."
"And there I thought", Leia said with disdain, "that we were getting to know each other. Evidently, you haven't been listening."
"You will never get what you want, Tarkin. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever", Leia said resolutely.
"How optimistic of you. You think there'll be a tomorrow for you", Tarkin said with a thin smile. Then he turned to his men.
"Sergeant, you may fire when ready."
XxX
AN:A bit late of an update this time, sorry about that - I got two super cute new kitten this weekend that demanded attention.
But hey, we've arrived on Centaxday! This is going to be a loooong day for Leia.