Chapter 2

"Here you go", a Prefect handed Pansy a small black envelope as she ambled out of the Great Hall with the restrictive pace of the hundreds of students filing out in front of her through the one set of great double doors.

Pansy glared at him while still trying to look on at the crowd in front of her, not seeing any of her friends nearby she snatched it out of his hand. "Useless!", she cried out, then chose to force her way through the crowd to make some ground on the group she was usually attached to. The group, made up of the usual suspects as she liked to think of them had simply, gotten off without her as they made for the common room.

Pansy was a creature of habit she'd found. The habit being that while she idolised the idea that she was a wolf, she had shamefully begun to suspect however that she was nothing more than a sheep. This small group of her friends, leaving the hall on mass without her was a flame to the tinder box that housed her patience. And as she continued to search for them and seeing none nearby, the glass house that was her emotions began to crack. There was an anxiety that she couldn't admit to, starting to take hold of her. Shouting nastiness at people was nothing new to Pansy but this wasn't that. There was no clear person who her outburst was aimed at other than her own universal frustrations.

Absently she took stock of the focus of her anger. She had spent years being cruel to people, calling the prefect useless for the sake of it was of little concern. The crowd of people, certainly, they were in her way. The idea of this, Pen-pal business, more trouble than it was worth sprung to mind. Her friends, now there was a thought. She had already been feeling abandoned before arriving back at school. And then finally, herself. And oddly it was herself that she was convinced that deep down she was most angry at.

Pansy entered the main hall to the grand staircase and took the passage down into the dungeons almost on autopilot having done so a thousand times. She paced herself as she walked, no longer caring to meet up with her group quickly, her mood was on the decline. The odd stream of Slytherin's past her heading for the common room and disappeared ahead of her as she slowed. As she walked on she neared the right turn which led to a long-winded follow through that was more or less, a 'round the houses' sort of route through the dungeons. It didn't lead anywhere in particular, and you never used it unless you wanted to get to where you were going a good twenty minutes or so late. For that reason, it was barely used, for that reason it was banked in her mind as one of her favourite haunts when in need of a solitary walk.

This time, as tempted as she was, she skipped it. Passing by the follow through entrance she didn't go down it, but instead continued straight to the entrance to Slytherin. She reached the unremarkable patch of bare wall where she paused, "Garrotted", she sighed in a defeated sort of way. When she realised that the defeated feeling hinted that she was almost unhappy to be back at her Common Room, the feeling wounded her. The common room door bled through the brickwork on hearing the password and quickly solidified into its solid form of serpentine elegance and swung open.

Pansy entered, and rather flawlessly, descended the black marble steps, unnoticed as she did, she began to hear the voices of her peers and in particular, her group. She made no noise as she stepped into the main sitting room while the group talked loudly over each other. Pansy, not trying to hide, simply side stepped into one of the many shadowy alcoves and leaned against the wall.

The room glowed with an aura that transcended colour, it was a feeling and it spoke to Pansy in a softness that was private. What colours that would be used in description was a homely green in the deep dark of black. The flashes of silver fittings an ornaments ladened with flecks of copper and gold glinted like gems in the dark of a cave. This was Slytherin house, cold and unfriendly to the uninitiated, but to those who called the House a home it was warm and welcoming. The great fireplace drew all eyes to the centre of the long curving room from where the staircase opposite invited all in. To the left and right were the adjoining rooms. They led, up and down different levels, to the dormitory's, the many study rooms and small common room library. Many of the rooms had the similar ominous green glow from the large underwater windows lit by the fire of the hanging sconce's that framed them.

From where Pansy observed the entrance lounge there were large groupings of high wing backed chairs and couches littered around, the most prominent nestled around the grand fireplace. It was crackling away and causing a spectrum of autumn light to dance across the floor and lash at the walls. From the corner it reflected in the amber of Pansy's brown eyes, and they glowed with fire.

Currently Draco was lounging alongside Crabb, Goyle, Blaise, Millicent, and the four or five others like Theodore Nott and Hester Vaisey. Vaisey, despite being a year younger became popular enough due to his prowess as a chaser, to be a part of the gang. That made up the group of her best friends. She observed them for several moments. Despite the train journey where most of them had already heard it, Draco was bragging about all the things he did over the summer, again. Blaise was sat preening his peacock feathers as he usually did, trying to find the nearest thing to a mirror to work off, Vaisey eyeing anything in a skirt and the rest of them more or less followed suit.

Pansy could see herself sat there, exactly where Draco's feet were as he coiled up on the couch. This time last year she'd have been there, fawning over him, heartily laughing at whatever witty comments he was making, doing her bit to be the doting girlfriend she always wanted to be, but never was. As Pansy continued to see herself sit there against the backdrop of flames smiling away at them all, she scowled. She wanted to walk up to the memory of herself and slap her for doing nothing but blindly follow and vie for attention.

"Pansy", came a quiet voice, "are you ok?". Tracey Davis, one of the many, 'unremarkables', as Pansy often painted anyone else outside of the fold. Tracey was very wary as she spoke, this had everything to do with the fact that Pansy had done nothing to be nice to the girl, ever. Not cruel, but neither nice nor welcoming to say the least. A smart witch with a very pleasing face and figure topped with a blonde pixy cut hair style, the girl was anything but unremarkable. Tall, pretty and smart, if anything she was a threat to Pansy.

"Davis", Pansy simply acknowledged.

"Erm, good summer?", Tracey sounded like she wanted to engage with Pansy almost as much as Pansy's blank response showed how much she didn't.

Pansy looked up at the taller girl, opened her mouth to reply, closed it, then chose to just say something cruel in the absence of anything else to say, opened her mouth again, closed it when nothing came to mind, tried again, failed, and then huffed loudly as she rolled her eyes and marched away from the girl.

Completely by chance and due to the direction, her feet had chosen when she kicked off from the wall, Pansy was heading straight to the group. Working with the situation and with only a split second to decide her next action, she strode into a powerful stride, cutting straight through the group where they all sat. The small gaggle looked up in surprise to see her, the odd, "Hey Pansy", barely made it out of the odd mouth owing to their surprise.

Pansy, now fully committed to what had quickly become a stage exit committed herself further and without thought, planning or hesitation, held a hand high and in a forceful and completely impolite voice rang out, "night fuckers!", leaving the halls of the Slytherin Common room with many a jaw open in surprise and shock as she entered the wing to her dormitory.

Pansy's dormitory was shared with the other girls in her year which included Davis, Bulstrode and Greengrass. The room was oval and somewhat nautical with its large circular porthole windows which gave a dim lakebed view by day and eerie emerald glow by night. A number of small fireplaces were evenly spaced around the room which was dominated by the giant ornate ebony carved four poster beds with sculpted snakes that curled their way up the posts to the draped Slytherin Green curtains.

The room was incredibly spacious owing to the fact it was made to sleep more than four and because of this each girl had a much larger space to call their own. Pansy being the most complaining in her younger years had picked the best of spots for herself. This was of no importance to the other girls who were happy for her to have it as in all honesty it creeped them out somewhat at night. Pansy had the largest of windows in the room which boasted the remnants of a small ship beyond, which had sunk in a different age. Now what was left was the carcass of its bow which on the darkest of nights Pansy would swear she could see the giant squid using it as it's haunt. And when the moon was right it cast a series of spindly and ominous shadows against the room.

The girls, as Dorm mates had come up with a way to privatise the dormitory into smaller spaces for themselves. They used some, now permanent large drapes that acted like curtained privacy screens. This, along with a strict code of Dorm rules made for complete privacy as well as harmony.

This suited Pansy perfectly; her giant window was complete with oversized window seat which was large enough to use as a bed when she wished. It was filled with an array of pillows, one of which she had transfigured two years ago when she learned how, into a soft mattress like shape to lounge across. She'd never admitted to such softness, but this was her true place of comfort. Her favourite spot to read, do homework or sometimes sleep. And at night when the room was quiet and the moon lit her little world up, she was at peace. Her secret affinity for large bodies of water. Something about the deep spoke to her soul.

Pansy had heard no sound from the other girls, casting a silencing charm over her side of the room would have been her best guess as to their course of action, so they could really dig deep into, 'what must have gotten into Parkinson?'

She woke early and dressed after her shower. It was early and she had no intention on being in the common room with the rest of them this morning. She opened her drapes quietly with the flick of her wand and stepped off to leave when she paused.

She raised an eyebrow when she noticed the small black envelope she had quickly scribbled in before falling asleep last night had vanished from her makeup table where she had left it. She shook it off and left, now hearing the soft breathing of her sleeping dorm-mates.

Dinner in the Great Hall the evening of her first day back at school and Pansy was sat with Draco to her immediate right and Millicent to her left. She was back in the fold of her group who hadn't questioned her once on her transgressions the night before.

During that morning, she had purposefully sat closest to the professors table which she knew wouldn't be chosen to sit in by the group as they couldn't be themselves so close and needing to self-censor. She had been alone until of all people the Weasel had come in without, surprisingly, Potter and Granger. As he strode in, she saw him kick his bag under the table with enough vigour to raise her eyebrow in interest and then, nothing. He just sat down and didn't seem to notice her as she had him.

Other than his sudden entrance, and him being the only other person in the hall at that time, she could not fail to notice the impressive way he had managed to grow another foot or so since she had last seen him which was saying something as he had always been gangly. However now, she subconsciously noted physical changes that silhouetted him a much more solid, less lanky figure.

After that there was nothing much to hold her attention and by the time she had finished the group arrived. Feeling like she would rather not chance it, she left to go and wait for her first lesson which was Binns and History of Magic.

Lunch had been just as quiet except for the incident in one of the corridors where Crabb had to grab Draco and lead him away from the danger he had got himself in by goading Potter who had put his bag down and lunged at her long-time friend. Pansy had watched from afar as Weasley had had to hold both Potter and the Finnigan boy back as Draco had managed to rile them both up.

She had scolded herself when she had momentarily smirked at the idea, she had had which involved Potter getting a good punch in on Draco and how that would have cheered her up. Then she remembered which side her bread was buttered and snapped out of it.

And now, here at the end of the school day she had finally sat back down and took her place with them, and she felt, entirely miserable. It happened when Draco had looked up at her as she walked past and with a smile simply said, 'Hey Pansy', and scooted over, followed by Millicent who had followed suit and patted the bench for her to sit down.

She felt shameful, to have spent all day and night spilling out poisonous thoughts against all her friends because she felt left out, it was a pathetic showing from her. She didn't eat much and instead sat there trying to get into the groove of being back there with them.

Millicent had spoken to her briefly and she knew she had responded but if she was asked what the conversation was, she couldn't say. When Draco had smiled at her before she sat down her heart had given a little quickening across her chest and her stomach fluttered. But now the entire time she had been sat with him he was sat leaning away from her talking and not once looked at her since. It was excruciating and as she looked around, she saw almost all of them were fully animated in talking to each other and again she felt like she might as well not be there. Worse still, like she didn't belong there.

Pansy stopped, from where she sat she had just been scanning the group when she couldn't help but notice Potter, Weasley and Granger at the Gryffindor table. It knocked her out of her head for a moment as she saw them tiptoeing to see something. Then rather oddly she couldn't help but notice the look of horror on Potter's face and then more to add to the spectacle, a helping of Weaslette was added as Ginny Weasley came to stand next to the boy looking equally fearful.

Pansy found her rear end was hovering an inch off the bench as she tried to crane her neck to see more of the scene. She could see the other Weasley sat down with something, she noticed the black envelope by his hand and for a split second noted she hadn't received a reply off whoever it was she had written her abrupt little message to last night.

Coming around, her eye sparkled with the cultivation of an idea. She leaned towards Draco thinking that anything new or odd to do with Potter would surely spark his interest and focus his attention on her.

Opening her mouth to speak she glanced at him and stopped. She noticed Draco already had his attention focused on someone else and trailed her gaze to where his eyes were lingering. She immediately felt the pit of her stomach fall out as he saw Draco's eyes taking in Greengrass and continuing to remain with a wanting. Without a second thought she stood up and quietly said, "excuse me", or at least thought she had, she couldn't even hear her own voice through the ringing in her ears. Pansy picked up her bag and smoothly walked the length of the hall and exited as quickly as possible, aiding the worry that anyone might see the tear's that welled in her eyes, threatening to spill.

Inside her room, that was to say, inside Pansy's area now draped off from the rest of the dormitory. Pansy was lay on her side in a foetal cocoon of her scatter cushions on her window bay. It was dark now, darkened still by the light of the nights moon only being a crescent one. The ripples of the surface water above distorted the moonlight as it hit the beds of weeds and wrecked ship. It twisted shadows into the room and as they danced across her face they illuminated her, showing it to be puffy and tear streaked.

As late as it was now, she had barely noticed the other girls winding down and getting into bed, after coming and going about their usual nightly routines. The room was quiet save the deep reverberating underwater sounds that were usually her greatest sleep aid's. She had no idea how long she had sat there like that.

Somewhere behind Pansy there was a pulse of dim red wand light that drew her attention in an instant. She sat bolt upright as Tracey Davis entered, pushing open one of the many drapes. The flash of light being their dorms rule for alerting anyone awake they were 'knocking on' as it were.

"Oh, your awake", Tracey said softly, "Sorry I just wanted to give you this, there was a night post after dinner and your letter arrived, but you had…".

"Just go", Pansy had no fight in her and her voice was horse and weak.

Tracey was always one for keeping the peace, however, she was also never actually scared of Pansy and instead entered further. She dropped the little black envelope on the bed as she passed it and continued to the window. Pansy was on her feet now and Tracey was stunned to a halt when a ripple of green moonlight washed over the girl's face. Something pulled at Tracey's heart as she saw her tears and softly breathed, "Oh Pansy…".

Pansy didn't move as Tracey approached and instead mustered herself for a fight. She wanted the girl out of her room while she was in such a vulnerable state. This was a true nightmare for Pansy to be seen like this, her pride taking a beating as much as her emotions had. As she readied herself to say or do, something, despite the immense tiredness that weighed her body down. She saw Tracey's face was awash with pity when she spoke.

Without another word from either of them Pansy fell forward into the taller girl who grabbed her, enveloping her in her arms as Pansy began to sob uncontrollably into the other girl's chest.

A/N

Just a passing comment but the introduction of Tracey here was the best decision I made in this story. I loved not creating a new character but fleshing out a character that was just an empty shell of a name.

I really felt that as I entered the next chapter, the story started to build a much bigger picture that really wrote itself.