Chapter 6

Ron looked at Harry with a very serious expression on his face. Almost in echo of Ron, Harry's face too looked like thunder. "This is going to be sh-…"

"… -The lesson!", Hermione cut across them both in a heated whisper, "will be what we make of it". She gave them both a stern look, but bit her lip as she did, looking into both their faces in turn. She was thinking, as she often did when it came time to work alongside the Slytherin's that really, her boys weren't always to blame. For a fleeting moment she thought about that endearment, 'her boys', it was why she was biting her lip. She hadn't always been that way with them when they were younger. But saying that, hadn't she also, 'always' been that way with them on reflection. She was the one who gripped them by the ear when they needed reigning in. She was also the one who they came to, hands open begging for help with homework like two hungry toddlers. She was also the one who was deeply protective of them both. The only difference now was one of them 'was' hers, and the other. She thought about Ron, she still felt as though he was hers. Then it hit her that she hadn't really shown him that this year, her head was full of Harry, and Ron wasn't getting a look in. No wonder he was acting up. Another grunt from them both and she snapped out of her thoughts and back into reigning them both in before they went from complaining, to spoiling for a fight.

Harry and Ron both paid attention to Hermione staring them both down, they were both also thinking the same thoughts in tandem. The way her nostrils flared when she was annoyed or serious. The way she looked into their eyes like they meant so much to her. The heat they felt when she did that little bite of her soft pink lip. But as suddenly as they'd been distracted, they both snapped out of it, realising they were supposed to be posturing. Or more accurately they were supposed to be doing precisely, 'not', that. But when the Gryffindor's stood on one side of a corridor and the Slytherin's on the other, it was all that mattered to two warring factions pumped up on hormones and bubble juice.

Pansy and Tracey turned the corner to the dungeons just in time to have both group's heads turn in their direction as one. They were the last to arrive, the girls all chanced being late as they remained to try and put together a hasty reply to Horse or, 'Le Cheval' as Harrier had christened him.

Back to the scene they were faced with, and Tracey scoffed loudly, "oh for crying out loud", she huffed and walked past them all, almost dragging Pansy along with her.

They settled in near to the entrance to the Potions classroom. Pansy who was still taking it all in stilled nervously. They were stood with all their fellow house mates of their year on one side and their Gryffindor equivalents on the other. Both looked ready for a fight. It made Pansy feel very tense, this was the first big test she had feared. Fighting, teasing, bullying Gryffindors was what she had lived for, and she was good at it, she enjoyed the rivalry. None of this was news to anyone but today she felt as though she wasn't a part of it, she was there with Tracey today and this was there to trip her up.

Pansy noticed Weasley instantly, it was hard not to, he rivalled Crabb and Goyle in size. Something in her head went further and assessed him a little more than she should. What with that morning he was even more easily noticeable than usual. Then she saw Granger stood with him and something tribal gripped her and the dislike she had always had for the girl began to fill Pansy. Her eyes narrowed and her face tensed, she had never fully known why she truly disliked the girl, but she didn't have to. The girl was a Gryffindor and Pansy was a Green, house pride meant a great deal to her, it was an honour being in Slytherin and that meant fighting the good fight and hating the Red's.

Then she saw Longbottom and a sinister smile crept onto her face and a flicker of what true evil might look like flashed ever so threateningly across her eyes. He saw it, like a prey animal spots its predator, he froze. She noticed him and the way it made him go rigid and she could have laughed. She glared at him like her eyes were a weapon she was now choosing to activate. They locked and she saw the terror that it caused in him, the result was almost explosive in Pansy when she realised how it made her feel.

Quite out of nowhere came the most overwhelming feeling of disgust, it was unbearable and made her chest hurt and stomach churn. Disgust was a feeling she often had while looking at Longbottom, he was weak and pitiful. But this time the feeling was for herself. All in an instant the light in her eyes turned to fear. There was a tightness building across her chest, no, her sides, her back! Panic rose in her as she felt the tightening around her entire upper body now like a great snake constricting her. She realised she couldn't breathe as images of a dark man in the shadows of her mind appeared.

A feeling of fear like she had never experienced before, like the dread of impending doom fille her. But she realised she 'had' experienced it before. The look she was seeing in Longbottom's eyes, it was a look that belonged to the young girl that was Pansy through the years, being berated and punished by her father and the fear that gripped her in those moments. His look of terror was all that was needed to make her think of home, and how that darkened place had never been a true home to Pansy. Somehow on this day that same terror hit her with realisation, and she could see herself stood where he was, and her father stood glaring at her from where she stood. The image terrified her.

She began to back away as panic and anxiety struck her and without thinking walked backwards straight into Tracey who was staring at her closely. Tracey, it seemed had been watching her, as Pansy feared she might.

Pansy looked up at the girl and with a little shake of her head, then started to back away from Tracey as if now scared of her too. She wanted instant invisibility, to be anywhere in the world as long as she was alone and not in this moment.

Tracey now concerned, could see tears welling in Pansy's eyes and was very conscious that almost everyone had stopped their glaring match and was watching Pansy with bemusement. Pansy, like a wounded animal was looking from person to person manically, still backing away in search of an exit. As Tracey tried to take a step forward the door behind her opened and Professor Snape's frame filled the entrance. Pansy took flight, to the sound of hurried whisperings which began as everyone watched on in bewilderment.

"Miss Parkinson where do you think you are going…", Snape's voice rang.

Tracey thinking quickly rushed forward, "Professor, Sir, I don't think she's well, might I escort her to Madam Pomphrey".

Snape's eyes read all of Tracey quickly, he was very fair with his house when he could be, while remaining firm. But usually less willing to be so under the watchful eyes of Gryffindors. That was unless he was in the mood for out and out torture of the Red's. "Very well Miss Davis, make sure you return quickly", he said evenly.

Tracey picked up Pansy's bag and hoisted it over her shoulder along with her own and made after her, ignoring almost every pair of eyes in the corridor that followed her.

She was just able to hear Snape scolding them all for paying attention to her and not to entering the classroom.

Tracey found Pansy by the entrance to the dungeon follow through where she was leaning with her face buried in her crossed arms against the wall. She looked up when hearing Tracey's footsteps and began shaking her head, her face now tears streaked. "Not again", she wined in a sobbing tone. "I'm not fu-…", she hiccup'd, "…-Ing crying on your shoulder again".

"Oh hush", Tracey scolded as she dropped their bags and pulled Pansy into her chest, "I'm drowning you in my tears next time I have a breakdown, bank on it". She pulled away and looked at her, wiping one of her tears, "You hush for now, let's get to the Hospital Wing", Pansy looked ready to argue but knew better.

A few minutes later they were in the hospital wing with Madam Pomphrey fussing over them. Tracey said Pansy had been hit with a stray curse that was making her emotions go hey wire. Tracey thought it sounded pretty good, once again thinking on her feet. But as Madam Pomphrey looked at Pansy with a little extra kindness in her smile, Tracey had the feeling the healer had more about her than she was given credit for and was seeing right through them. The almost knowing pity in her voice was further evidence of Tracey's suspicions. And when she came back suggesting the best remedy would be a piece of chocolate from the slab she kept and said, "about fifteen minutes should do it", Tracey had her answer.

They were sat privately in a bed with the privacy screen pulled around. And Pansy did at least do as told and eat, Tracey supposed the remedy would still be a sound option even if there was truth to the lie.

"You don't have to talk Pansy, I just need to know you're ok", Tracey wasn't sure how close she should get and was leaving her hand a few inches from Pansy's as an anchor if needed.

Quite unexpectedly Pansy turned to her, and be it with a croaked voice, said quite firmly, "I wet myself you know, at home". She paused nodding, to herself more than anything, "father usually screams so loud, and I get so scared he'll…that I just wet myself right there where I'm stood and then he laughs at me". She carried on nodding to herself, staring off into nothing.

Tracey was stunned by this, her first was a great disgust for this retched relative she quickly decided she despised. Then was the consciousness that Pansy was exposing herself intimately to her, she sensed that this wasn't Pansy being dramatic or trying to be the centre of attention between the two of them. She had a feeling deep in her gut that Pansy was trying to punish herself. Tracey was also now feeling very pressured. She knew deep down that Pansy would not try to put her in such an awkward position, but she was still disturbed by what she was hearing. She was in no doubt now and fully believed the suspicions that Pansy's abuse at home went deeper than just verbal. But she couldn't help but feel like this was all a bit much for her to deal with for someone she was supposed to barely know. All this feeling and sensing, it was with a person she'd known for years but from a far. The 'getting to know' part was barely even a day along.

It was all very real suddenly and with that was the realisation that Pansy wasn't playing. Tracey might have had the idea, and she might have given the girl a push, but this change Pansy was attempting went beyond wanting to make a friend or two. And with that came a little self-doubt on Tracey's part. Twice in too days the girl who never cried was crying on her shoulder. Tracey was the one to make this happen, to force Pansy's hand and start this little social experiment of sorts. She guiltily felt 'what if?', in her mind, 'what if this isn't real and I don't want to commit to this friendship'. It had, in truth, started because of Pansy's heart ache and Tracey's inability to walk away from her. But while their day together had started as light-hearted fun, they were back to pain. It made it all less light-hearted and brought it down to a more serious tone with more responsibilities she hadn't counted on.

Pansy had taken Tracey's hand without her realising and rested her head on Tracey's shoulder. Tracey raised a questioning eyebrow to herself when she realised. It had just hit her that the entire train of thought must have lasted seconds and already, almost comically she had her answer. She leaned in and rested her head against Pansy's and decided she was in it for real. Not for the fun of it, or the uniqueness, but the fact that she had had more enjoyment in the humdrum of Hogwarts life in one day with Pansy, then she had the entire four years without. But more than that, much more in fact and more importantly, she believed in the girl.

Tracey was pretty dark in her evaluation of herself, she liked sinister things, the misery of others, laughing at misfortune. It was why she was a Green, she never questioned that she was less than the bog standard 'nice girl' you might meet. But she struggled at cruelty and could never bully, at least someone who couldn't defend themselves. She didn't for a second question that there was a true darkness to Pansy and a wicked streak that blurred the lines of her, Tracey's, own morals. But she truly felt that there was more to Pansy than just callus evil and she had come close to seeing some of it today. She didn't expect to find a good person under that excess of Pansy-ness, but she believed she could find someone she could happily have a close friendship with…maybe.

Tracey squeezed her close, "does this have something to do with Granger and Longbottom", she asked gently.

"You 'were' watching".

"I watched you a little in the corridor. Or I 'saw' you, at least I thought I saw the version of you I've known the longest", Tracey didn't want to push the girl hard, but it felt like however Pansy answered, right now in that moment would really matter to her.

"I've been worried all day you know", Pansy didn't move from the comfortable perch of Tracey's shoulder and continued to stare forward. "It's been on my mind all day, I've had such a good time with you, and the girls. I was waiting to ruin it when you realise, I'm basically the same bad person you've been hoping I wasn't".

"And in the corridor?".

"In the corridor I saw Granger and I wanted to slap the bushy haired know it all", Pansy tensed as she got closer to the heart of it. "Then I saw Longbottom", she closed her eyes and shook her head, afraid to say it. "I've bullied that boy every year in this miserable place. It felt good to see him scared of me again". She struggled with an intake of breath as she began to cry, "then I saw how scared he was, so scared…and all I could see was me and my dad and I felt dirty and terrified of the idea of that… ", she swore frustratedly under her breath. "And I put that poor sod through the same hell when I knew exactly what that's like to live through". "I was so upset I didn't even think about how that might end us, or what anyone else would say, all I wanted was to get away".

Tracey closed her eyes; she was so sad hearing Pansy speak about being so nasty. Again, it wasn't new to her but now it somehow cut her deep. Like learning of a relative or loved one you thought of highly, doing something that made you lose respect for them. And yet, Pansy's words made Tracey happy. Or while not entirely happy, but hopeful.

"Pansy, you're not wrong that it's worried me, and I have been watching but just knowing that the idea of being that nasty is making you this upset", she sighed. "I would never ask you to change for me, but I just feel like there's a part of you that maybe was that cruel and nasty, just to be in with that crowd just to be popular, but that part isn't really you".

There was a moments silence as Pansy contemplated this. "I don't know, as nice as that would be, I still wanted to slap Granger, hardly moral fibre".

"Oh, to hell with moral fibre", Tracey scoffed, "you're a bloody Slytherin, there are times when I want to knock out Miss Know It All. That doesn't make you evil or cruel, it means you don't like the girl. Were never going to like everyone we meet and nor should we". She pulled away now to look at Pansy, "but that doesn't make you bad. I don't like that other, ugly side to you I've known. But just look at what you said, even you don't like that side to you". "You're the one making these changes in your life, is it any wonder you're seeing this stuff in you now". "Pansy, I don't think you've ever given yourself a chance to just be you, I don't doubt you still have a little sociopath in you somewhere though",

Pansy didn't reply in the end, she wrapped her arms around Tracey and held her tightly. There was a long moment of silence with the two of them were neither spoke but then Tracey was scared she would have to break it.

"Pansy?", Tracey spoke very softly.

"I know", she moaned with a breathy, crying whisper.

"We don't have to talk about it now, but we can't ignore what you told me".

Pansy sighed and wiped her eyes knowing that she didn't have it in her to fight. She apologised to Tracey for being so dramatic and graphic and was again scolded in return for thinking it was anything like being dramatic. Then she went into more detail about her home life. They spoke for a while until it was all unceremoniously laid bare, and Tracey was holding her tighter. There was nothing that would suggest she had been physically abused past, at most, a certain level of violence that still made Tracey's skin crawl all the same and her heart ache. But at least she felt she knew it hadn't gone into that, darker, more disgusting route that some people were victim of. None of it seemed that cut and dry and Tracey could only hope that her fears that it was worse than Pansy was letting on was just her over thinking it. She had heard of victims using abuse themselves as an outlet but that wasn't something they needed to be going into right now. The takeaway was that she knew two things, her friend had lived through years of torture, and she had almost the full year to try and get her out of there. But for now, that would have to wait. It had been a raw conversation they'd endured and even Tracey felt on the verge of tears. It wasn't something they could gloss over and there was a silent understanding that they would come back to it. There was also a mutual understanding that they needed to come down from the highs and lows of the emotional journey and the two spent time breathing it off together.

The remaining few minutes were spent nibbling on chocolate and chuckling solemnly about the state they would find the Gryffindor's in if Snape's shouting was anything to go buy when they left. Tracey knew they weren't out of the darkness but they were on the right track, more than enough to get through Potion's if she could keep her out of trouble.

Madam Pomphrey opened the privacy curtain, and her face didn't look at all surprised to see them both as they were. "There we are, fifteen minutes, right as rain". She fully opened the curtain, exposing the entire Hospital Wing. "Back to class then I think dears".

They both thanked her and left, after a few minutes they were back outside the potion's classroom. Before they went inside, they stopped. Tracey began to play with Pansy's uniform, straightening everything out. "There we are", she said, "no one's business what's happened. I'll speak to Snape; you just sit down". Pansy nodded, appreciating everything the girl was bringing into her life.

They entered the dimly lit potions room and found the class in complete order, as orchestrated by their head of house.

"Miss Davies, Miss Parkinson, glad you could join us", Snape didn't draw any attention to the reason for the absence. "Do come in", he gave a deliberate seeping glance at the Gryffindor's as he spoke, "I dare say as students of my house you do not need me to repeat myself on the importance of your studies in this class this year and my expectations moving beyond your exams".

"Of course not, Professor Sir, Outstanding or above grades only Sir", Tracey said primly as she cautiously approached him.

"Precisely", Snape sneered with satisfaction as the Gryffindor's looked on in loathing. "A point to Slytherin", he inclined his head, aiming a smile at the Red's.

As Pansy went to one of the few remaining tables, she looked up to see Tracey as she reached Snape. She saw that Tracey spoke very quietly and quickly with him. She thought for a split second that Snape's eyes had darted towards her and away from Tracey. She thought it also looked like he gave her the most subtle of curt nods as she turned and walked back to her. She wanted to ask her friend what she'd said but she was devoid of the chance by her teachers next words.

"Miss Davis, I will have to ask you not to sit with Miss Parkinson", he waved his arm as he spun around to address the class, making his robes billow threateningly as he did. "I'm afraid I must ask a kindness of you, for the sake of my classroom", he turned and dead eyed Neville who froze wide eyed, "I need a competent student to sit with Longbottom and make sure he doesn't destroy what I have worked so hard to build".

Tracey nodded subserviently and turning to Pansy sent her a strained look that told Pansy she had not been expecting that. Tracey mouthed, "sorry", as she came over to pick up her bag, now at Pansy's feet with her own bag. Pansy had a prang of guilt hit her stomach as Snape singled out Longbottom. Snape wasn't doing anything that he wouldn't normally, but today, now of all times, it didn't sit well with her.

"Please sir", Hermione had her hand up, "I'd be happy to work with Neville", she tried to sound as pleasant as she could to win him over.

"Miss Granger", Snape turned to her with a thin smile, "tell me, do you think yourself a better potions brewer than Miss Davis".

Tracey had been bent down to retrieve her bag but on hearing this her head snapped back up to face Pansy, there eyes meeting with a knowing look. Pansy wasn't sure whether Tracey was doing it on purpose, she suspected not, but a very genuine looking smirk of satisfaction was creeping onto her face. For the split second their eyes met, she couldn't stop her own smile. In an attempt to put the boot in for the Green's even more, Tracey grabbed her bag and fluidly stood, to her full height, turning on the spot to face Hermione with an expectant, quizzical look. Her eye's daring the Red to answer.

"I…", Hermione floundered, "of course not, Sir…. I only meant that I would be willing-….".

"…-To show off", Snape cut her off coldly. "No, I think not Miss Granger, despite your feelings of superiority towards my students' skills. I at least, believe Miss Davis to be at an 'Outstanding' level of Potion's making, that is unrefined by the necessity…for praise", he added the last with venom staring at Hermione.

The Slytherin's were enjoying the good form their Head was in this start of term. As Tracey approached Neville who was stood by the overwhelming frame of Ron, Tracey paused.

Snape however, seemingly enjoying himself walked away from Hermione back to his lecturing table when he next spoke, he had his back to her. "But please do, Miss Granger, go stand by Longbottom if you believe you are more capable then I at running this class". He reached his stage and turned with ease, his head stopping at the perfect point to meet her eyes. Defeated Hermione looked down. "Ar yes", Snape turned to look at Pansy now. "Miss Parkinson, I believe your skills in this class should assist Weasley from making a clot of himself, if you wouldn't mind". He raised his arm in expectance for Ron to move aside and take a place next to Pansy.

If Snape was hoping to rile a bit of anger out of Ron, it hadn't worked. It had only served in giving him a jolt of shock. And, as if no time had passed since they had last locked their gaze in the entrance hall that same morning. They now stood on opposite sides of the room, locked in each other's stare again.