Chapter 10
Pansy woke on the Saturday morning with just enough alertness to realise she was grateful they only had a half school week, first week back. Blearily she looked around at the room which dazzled a light pale green in the glow of morning light trickling down to their windows through the vast lake. She could hear Daphne's light snore which didn't exist if you happened to ask her about it. Aside from this there was a low level of movement that told her head that Millicent was awake already.
A light pressure built in Pansy's lower back, it relented for a moment and then was replaced with a sharp jab that made her squeak, "ouch". Pansy gave a small direct kick back at the source and Tracey bolted upright in a panic, her eyes covered by her sleeping mask, she whipped around blind for a second before yanking it off her face.
"What the hell", Tracey was almost as blind without it as she was with it on as she rubbed her eyes having been suddenly forced awake.
"You kicked the Dark Arts out of me last night, gods help your future betrothal", Pansy stretched as she sat up.
"Err, I have other talents that make up for that", Tracey yawned.
Pansy scoffed spitting out the water she had just been drinking from her bedside cabinet. "Won't you be a catch".
"And some…" Tracey sat looking around the room somewhat shocked to wake up where she had". "This isn't my bed", she stated with confusion.
"Isn't it?", Pansy teased, "what makes you say that? the lack of your things or the presence of mine?"
The truth was that after they'd got back to their dorm the two had no intention of sleeping with the abundance of developments they had to go over. Not to mention Tracey had been fixated on gushing over Pansy when they were alone. The all but obvious way Pansy had taken the curse for Tracey when they were with the Girl's, was more than enough to have her spilling to her just how much she felt closer to her by the day. It was the type of endearment that once, Pansy would have bet would make her sick, last night it had been all she could do not to weep with the girl.
They got no further on the subject of Tracey's father or her own for that matter. They had both been in a fluctuating state fetching from jovial laughter to fits of soppy, close to tear moments as they replayed the day. They had both started to get honest with each other on how they had felt the longer this went on. They recalled Granger's ordeal at the hands of Snape with greedy relish and when the talk turned to the rest of the Potion's lesson Tracey was relentless in reminding her just how hot she'd gotten for a Red. That led onto bouts of theories and guesswork with what happened in the Red's tower which then brought them back to Pansy covering for Tracey's emotional crisis when they got to the Great Hall.
"Well, I remember getting settled in here after we changed, but even I don't remember us getting in bed", as Pansy spoke, she noticed the blond making her bed for her which for a clean freak like Pansy, she was grateful for. However, she enjoyed their banter and couldn't resist adding, "Mother always warned about picking up strays".
"Piss-…" Tracey swore as she continued to yawn, "…-off Parkinson, you couldn't pull me if you tried, I was clearly so tired from carrying you all day I collapsed under my own charity".
"And yet you came prepared", Pansy nodded to her eye mask with a smile.
"Always stay prepared girl", Tracy started looking around with a more marginal alertness.
"You have any plans today", Pansy quizzed.
"I could do with keeping on top of my workload in the Library for a few hours if you fancied it". "You don't have to though", Tracey added quickly, "I don't want to overload you with, well, me".
"Mhmm", Pansy hummed, "two days in and I'm already over you".
"Suit yourself you short arse", Tracey shot a cushion over at the back of Pansy's head as she looked away.
Pansy took cover and they quickly fell into firing as many of the cushions and soft items that were dotted about Pansy's room. Soon they got carried away and using their wands to fire the items which went flying high and low through and over the privacy curtains until there was a startled snort and a grunt. "Ruddy hells going on", Daphne shouted, clearly rudely awakened. "What are you two doing you mad …do you know what time it is".
"Pipe down Greenarse", Tracy smiled to Pansy, "its time to get up anyway, can't stay in bed snoring all day".
"I do not snore", whined Daphne from behind one of the screens.
There was a small single bark of laughter from the other side of the room, clearly Millicent finding the humour in Tracey.
"I'm going for a shower", Tracey hit Pansy across her bum with a cushion in hand with almost no force, clearly showing they were done. There was a wave of her wand and incantation and the now scattered scatter cushions came running back in line, jumping to their correct places until they flopped down to where they belonged.
"I'll do the same in a minute and we'll get some breakfast".
Pansy began routing through her trunk and wardrobe until she had a carefully thought-out wear for the day, lay ready on her bed. As she did, she contemplated her and Tracey sharing a bed as she realised she had survived her first and only true sleepover. Or at least for what it was, sharing a dorm for over four years, actually sharing the night together was completely different. What was more was that it hadn't even been planned. The idea was proportionately sad as she thought that she was fifteen and had only just got to do this with someone. It took her back to when she admitted to Tracey that what she really wanted was, this.
There was a low pulse of red light that brought Pansy back into the room, she turned expecting to see Tracey coming back.
It was Millicent, "you got a moment?" she said with an even smile.
Pansy just stared at her for a second before snapping to her senses, "of course, please come in", her pureblood Manners extending to the girl.
Millicent's own, extended back to Pansy with a small bow of her head. It was a normal practice to each of them, even in school, even if they were close friends, they wouldn't be able to conduct themselves any other way. Pansy, Millicent, and Daphne never went a day without showing the proper respect while Tracey had always been given a pass and it wasn't expected of her. It was a mild testament to Tracey, that she understood their ways too, and still tried to conduct herself in the same manner in their dorm, which they all appreciated. It was the same reason why even with Harrier, before they had gotten close through Tracey, they both bowed their head in acknowledgement when they passed one another.
Pansy paused on that last thought and noted how all three of the others in her new group, Tracey, Liza, and Farah all bowed their heads slightly to Harrier too and it had only just come to the forefront of her thoughts now. Odd, in that the other's weren't raised Pureblood like herself and Harrier was. She pushed it to the back of her mind as a mild curiosity labelled under, 'must ask Tracey about that later'.
"Thank you, Pansy,", she walked over to the wingback chair in the corner and sat, Pansy taking the window seat and angling herself to face the girl. Millicent had always been a big girl, as Pansy had noted years ago, she was fat. That was how Pansy, now looking back on herself, would have described her in such a flatly honest and uncaring way. In her head she still said she was large, but her filter now said fuller framed or curvy. It was similar to her looks; at one time she thought her ugly but now she would have tried to think alternatively pretty. She wasn't censoring herself for anyone's benefit, but these were people she chose to like, and she had been a cow with them internally and it was another one of her subconscious changes. Looking at Millicent now though, she was somewhat happy to see that words like curvy were actually an apt description. It had been days since she returned and she'd sat with Millicent and seen her, but Pansy was only now taking her in.
Like Pansy had known she had changed, herself, over the summer, she could see there had been a kick to how Millicent looked, and it didn't just stop at a now shapely physique. Had she not been quite formidable and a Slytherin, the girl would have likely been picked on for her once look of many spots, limp hair and greasy skin. The fact was she'd never looked better, smooth spotless complexion, hair that was styled with volume and shape that complimented her face. Pansy hoped that Millicent knew she looked so different from how she once did.
Deciding to pass on some of her new optimism she said, "you look fantastic by the way Millie".
This clearly threw her and as her brow creased it was all the more obvious, but she softened. "Thank you I guess". She smiled, and Pansy was delighted to see it was the kind of smile someone did in spite of themselves when they were pleasantly surprised. "Well actually, Father told Mother I was old enough to start going with her to the Salon's and, well some of its just sort of stuck".
"Look's great", Pansy beamed.
Millicent frowned to herself before eyeing Pansy. She waved her wand, casting a silencing charm over them. The act made Pansy eye her back, suspiciously. "I'm sorry Pansy, but Draco asked me to speak to you for him", the stare now turned into a dead eyeing from both of them.
"Millie look, I appreciate…", Pansy was interrupted.
"Don't go back to him!" Millicent's tone was stern and full of warning.
"What?" Pansy was expecting a telling off on Draco's behalf.
"I love Draco", Millicent said softly, "as a friend", she added quickly. "So I'd appreciate it if you'd please not tell him I've said anything other than to come back to us".
"But your not doing?" Pansy quizzed her raising an eyebrow.
"No", Millicent looked at her with a guilty expression. "Pansy, I don't know why we never got any further than just being in that group of friends and nothing more". "Don't get me wrong it's not left me out alone, I have my close friends, but it might have been nice".
"I'm not sure I'd have been that good of a friend to you Millie", Pansy cut in with a hefty amount of honesty.
"But you're not that girl anymore?" Millicent raised an eyebrow to her in turn.
"I guess I'm not", she frowned, "or I don't think I am, but its genuine, I'm not trying for attention".
"For all the better from what I've seen", Millicent smiled. "I can't help that I've caught bits of this and that from you and Tracey when you forget you're not alone. Then there's that its all the others can talk about recently, it's had everyone's attention", the girl hesitated, looking at her through eyelashes which Pansy could see now were definitely longer. The look she offered didn't go unnoticed, "obviously, I've noticed that bit more", Pansy tried to offer her a nod in understanding.
"I'm sorry Millie", Pansy said a little sad and uneasy in that moment. They had both known for some time that Pansy knew Millicent was not a girl who's head was turned by boys. It was one of Pansy's saving graces with the girl that she had never poked fun or offered out the information.
Millicent laughed, "oh its fine, I'm not saying I've started falling for you or anything that daft. But if you will add yourself to", she inclined her head, "'that' group, its somewhat harder to ignore". She sheepishly smiled again, "you look great too by the way".
It was all Pansy could do to try and be kind and offer her the smile in return. But overall, she remained confused and as much as she whole heartedly was enjoying her company, more so than in the past, she wanted to get back to the reason for their interaction. "Ok so, I get you feeling sorry we were never more, as friends. And I understand the reason behind why you've been…noticing me… that bit more recently, but what does this have to do with Draco?"
"Well, I guess what I wanted to say is, apart from looking totally lost sometimes when I've looked over at you, I've never seen you this happy before now". Millicent was back to looking at her with a more serious intent. "I think, not that any of this Is my business, that it seems that you being away from us has helped you find yourself. And I've always thought that Draco's, just bad news when it comes to the two of you. Your both…". She looked around frustrated with how to phrase it all. "Your both great when your, alone I guess", again they eyed each other carefully as they both understood the things she wasn't saying as much as what she was, "but then…". Millicent looked right past Pansy to where Daphne slept with a look of mild irritation, Pansy got the feeling it was for her own benefit. She knew Millicent knew all about the Yule Ball.
"Look", Millicent now got to her feet, "I'm just going to say, speak to Draco, or don't, I don't care. But for Merlin's sake Pansy don't let him ruin you, or this", she pointed to the showers where Tracey was. "I've never seen you like this; you've never been this close with any of us and it shows. I'll love him to the end, behind closed doors me and him are as close as you and Davies are. He tells me so much that he can't say to anyone else. He's the only person I can talk about my preferences with but-…".
Again she paused, "I'm really worried how much your absence is effecting him. He's noticed you now", Millicent gave her and up and down glance. "I mean all, of you. I think he knows what he let get away and its poisoning him".
"I don't think he's going to be that bothered Milli, not really".
Millicent gave her a telling look, "I don't know Pansy, he's calm on the outside but when its just us he's started to sound a bit, well desperate".
Pansy scoffed, "he gets plenty of attention. As if I hadn't noticed Daphne sat in my place all the time now". She saw the look this brought out in the girl, "its fine honestly I'm not pissy".
"I do like her", Millicent confessed, "but I still detest all the, history". She nodded as Pansy put a reassuring hand up. "But your wrong Pansy, he might be getting what he needs, but in himself I'm worried he's got a bit obsessed. I keep talking it out of him though".
Millicent stood, shaking her head angrily. "I'm sorry Pansy, I'm speaking out of line". "Just remember, the grass can be greener on the other side". She walked over to Pansy, passing by her she placed a hand on her shoulder, "you might have left the group, but I'll always be here".
Pansy stood, reciprocating to Millicent but her words hit a nerve and then her actions hit more. It became another difficult moment for her as she had to breathe through the sudden flood of feelings that hit her. Pansy's own hand touched the top of Millicent's as it lingered for a moment on her shoulder and nodded to her in thanks as she left.
Harry made his way down the stairs from his dormitory and entered the common room sitting area. Hermione was already there, book in hand. Except this time, she was giving it no attention as she sat eagerly waiting on Harry, she jumped to her feet when she saw him.
Harry met her as she raised her eyebrows at him questioning him silently. Harry shook his head, keeping his voice low, "no sign of him. And I stayed up for hours last night, I've not seen anything of him".
Hermione bit her lip with a genuine worry, "but he did say as much last night", she pressed.
"But he would have come back surely, Ron's stubborn but he's not that stupid", Harry was irritated by his best friend, but the irritation was only his dealing with the fact he was overall, worried about him.
"He's not stupid!" Hermione snapped at him, "were the idiots that caused this". She wanted to soften under his shock, but the truth was Harry had been the first of them to become snappy when he was stressed. It was one of his main flaws, among many, that she accepted as part of being with him. But now she was testy, guilt ridden and seeing the situation in a new light. Perhaps more clarity than she had done since this had started.
"You heard him last night talking to Ginny, we've done nothing wrong". Harry closed the gap and placed his hands on her arms, not caring that they weren't alone.
Hermione stilled as he touched her; it didn't register as comforting right now. "And aren't we lucky that Ron, our Ronald Weasley of all people, has had more sense than, well, the pair of us", she was shaking her head in disbelief that her words were true. He really had been the voice of reason last night and it still shocked her.
Harry saw her choosing to not meet his eye line and it got his back up, "Hermione we did nothing wrong", he tried to stay even and reassuring but he was losing patience with her. "And if Ginny hadn't of opened her mouth…".
"Ginny", Hermione spat, "did nothing wrong". Harry let go of her and stepped back rolling his eyes at her.
"Oh, come off it, you've changed your tune", Harry scoffed.
"So, you don't think, you, of all people owe her an apology either?", Hermione bore her eyes into him, and she noticed the wince in him as she said it. "Because we failed her like we did Ron". Hermione had almost stepped a toe into a full-blown argument with him and despite some people already giving them their attention she managed to rain it in and lower her voice. "We do have nothing to be ashamed of, but I can't believe it's taken us this long to see that we could have really screwed up two of our closest friends by not just having", she huffed in frustration, "grown a pair and told them what was going on".
There was a moment between them where Harry didn't know what to say and felt lucky he spotted that this, their first argument, could go a lot worse if he chased the rabbit hole of wanting to argue back just to win. "But", he tried to keep his tone optimistic, "he did say he just needed time and he even said that he didn't think he did like you that way". He saw the look on her face and tried to get ahead of her, "that doesn't make it any less painful for Ginny I guess and I guess any less of a shock for him".
Hermione didn't know where she was right now in this, she didn't want to stay angry. She also knew she was angry at herself and not just Harry. But it did not help that he was there taking the stance that she had, only the day before when Harry had been the voice of reason. It seemed, she felt, that they had reversed roles. She tried to move past it. "Well I'm not entirely sure Ron was being completely honest, I can't say I know what he likes, especially with yesterday's revelation", she winced at the thought of her Ron with the vile Parkinson. "But we got pretty close and I've always had my suspicions he's, liked me". She shook her head not really buying her own words, "who am I kidding, I have no idea who Ron is right now". She turned and went to sit back down and hoped Harry would follow.
Harry came over and leant against the arm of the single seater she was on. "Is it that bad that he's changing, I thought Ron would have blown his top".
"So did I", she scooted sideways in her seat to face him, "that's part of my worry, he isn't acting that way at all. But you heard Ginny about her friends. I've heard the odd joke about him here and there around the girls' dormitories too, but they didn't really register until last night".
"What do you mean".
"Well", she swallowed and struggled to meet his gaze, "I hadn't paid that much attention as my heads been so full of, us". She was glad to see Harry smile at this as her next words she was worried he'd take the wrong way. "But he has changed, and I don't mean his attitude". She sighed as he looked at her like she was explaining her Ancient Runes homework and she rolled her eyes. "He's gone a bit, noticeable", she tried to hint.
"Of course he's noticeable Hermione, the lads got to be six foot four if not more", Harry was quickly reminded that only the year before he had struggled to even understand the fairer sex when it came to trying to get something as simple as a girl on his arm to the Yule Ball. Being with Hermione it seemed hadn't opened some secret door of knowledge within him regarding women.
"For the love of merlin Harry, Ron's…Hot, for better a word", she sighed, "don't give me that look I didn't say I thought he was hot". She realised that was true, she hadn't, and if she had. That was the kind of train of thought that could land her in even more trouble. Ron now being an even more prominent figure in her life did not need to be taking up residence in her head complete with a body that might cause, distractions. "It's just one of those things Harry, we all change. Are you telling me you always had a thing for me just going off looks". "Don't answer that", she said with an amount of sultry firmness as she took pity on the fear in his eyes.
Harry looked around the room, then took in the sight of it as it was and how it would be on a packed evening. Thinking about the fact that he'd probably been the most talked about Gryffindor for fifty years or so and Ron had had to make do with being, "Harry Potter's stupid mate" as Ron himself had once said. Even if Harry chose not to believe that for his best mate, he guessed he had always been just that kid that hung around with Potter. Was some new level of attention for him a bad thing if it maybe went some way to raising him up a little.
"So…" Harry said aloud," Ron's Hot!", he nodded to himself illuminated. He turned back to Hermione and came to be directly in Seamus' eyeline who seemed to just have appeared from their Dormitory. The shock on his face telling Harry that he had clearly heard him. Harry shook his head and blanched, "no, I wasn't saying, I don't think that…".
Seamus seemed to freeze and looked from Harry to Hermione, who seemed to find his sudden, confused appearance funny as Harry became flustered. Not knowing where to look Seamus turned to march off.
"NO", Harry barked at him annoyed, "don't bugger off thinking I was saying, I don't think that…,I have a girl-…". Harry flushed red and turned back to Hermione who was holding her stomach in fits of laughter, "Oh, shut up".
"Sea,
Or My Nutter Sea, I should probably say.
So interesting night for me spent embarrassed out my skull. I finally felt what it was between me an her and for the most part it was pain. Turns out she's with my best mate and I had no idea for at least a few months.
I did say that I don't think I liked her as much as I really thought I did but I don't know how much of that's true. It felt like I knew I really liked her and it's a bit of a worry that I've so quickly shrugged it off. So, I'm more than a little self-conscious I might just be trying to save face.
Weirdly were both changing by the sounds of it though. Give me that kind of news a few months ago and I reckon I could have exploded. Last night though, I don't know, I just buggered off and got out the castle for a bit. Went for a fly to clear my head in the moonlight. I reckon were onto something with the different outlook. It doesn't feel any better, but I know somehow it matters how I act, faced with something like this.
I just wanted to walk off and get away, not piss and moan about how I felt or how I was actually hurting inside. I went out and spent a few hours on the quidditch pitch and thought a lot about feeling betrayed and lied to. Truth Is, they haven't betrayed anyone, they've kept it from me but I suppose I would if it were me and I wanted to protect my best mate. End of the day its done and all the crying about it won't change a thing.
Oddly since your letters I've found there's as small voice that keeps coming to me, somewhere in the back of my mind. It's been telling me to 'just go with it' when I've been met with something challenging.
So, I went back to my dorm where my mate was and, well thankfully I left it late enough that he was asleep. Luckily this morning, I woke early and quietly enough to get out unnoticed. Now I've spent all morning deciding I was done with these letters. Then funny enough deciding they might just be the only things keeping me sane, and you might just be the one nutter I can be as honest with as I am with myself.
Yours,
Horse"
"P.S What was funny last night was that the voice that told me to, 'just go with it', was a very sweet one that certainly caught my attention. I wonder if it was yours. I mean, who knows right…."
Ron raised an eyebrow to himself as he added the postscript. He didn't know what he was playing at, the voice whispering to him had been Parkinson's, so why he'd took to trying to flirt on paper with his Pen-Pal he had no idea. Not to mention if it was at all appropriate under the circumstances. Putting the letter back in the envelope he placed it down to his right. Looking around the great hall it seemed the Castle was finally waking as he sat alone eating his Croissant and drinking his coffee. Picking up his mug he turned back to the tiny envelope and let out a nervous breath as he saw that it had vanished, too late now to change his mind.
Harry and Hermione resigned themselves to heading for breakfast in the absence of any luck finding Ron. They had both moved past the argument, as much as it was, and had spent at least 15 minutes hidden away behind one of the tapestry shortcuts that they often frequented. Harry had more than made up for Hermione's irritations with the onslaught of snogging that they forced against one another. Making it downstairs, still more than a little early for a weekend. The majority of the Castle still wouldn't be down for breakfast for another hour or so.
Harry leaned over and nipped her ear with his teeth with no one around. It forced a squeal from Hermione who couldn't hold back a giggle as they rounded into the Great Hall. The two slammed into a wall that was Ron's gaze, forcing them to halt and remain frozen and wide eyed.
Ron heard them before he saw them as they came in, he was maybe one of fifteen or so students who were apparently early birds. Ron rolled his eyes with his head leaning on one of his hands as he had been reading a copy of the Prophet. He raked his free hand down his face in frustration. This was hard enough without the displays of affection.
'Oh crap', they both thought.
"Well don't just stand there like a bloody pair of prized prat's", he called over.
They were both aware a few of the others sat eating, reading and talking had started to look up to watch them. The two were happy to see they quickly lost interest, unless this turned into an argument there was nothing out of the ordinary for the three of them to be sat around, maybe even bickering. As they began to walk over, Hermione's emotions began to get the better of her and she started to skip every other step until it turned into a jog, before propelling herself at him.
Ron saw it coming and lazily put a hand out to stop her, "NO", he announced, "I don't want you to start-…".
Hermione slammed into him regardless, wrapping her arms around him, her eyes starting to well up. "I've been so worried".
"Will you stop", Ron snarled, trying to breathe through the bushy hair entangling his face but surprisingly it was with a definite playful undertone. He glanced at Harry who was distinctly keeping a distance, "Well", Ron said glaring at him, "where's yours?"
"What!" Harry nearly took a step back with a look of shock. "You don't want me to give you a hug!"
"No, I bloody well don't, but it's good to see you squirm a little", Ron's mouth betrayed him with the tiniest of up curls.
"Hermione", he moaned irritated, "get off and don't go sitting there".
Hermione paused, "I can't sit next to you?" a catch in her throat telling Ron that had hurt more than he'd meant.
"No you can't", he stuck to his guns, "go on that side and sit with your", he thrust his head to Harry, "Fancy Man".
"My-…", She blinked at him before bursting into laughter, "only you Ronald would call him my Fancy Man".
"Rather fitting for the Scarlet Woman I'd say", he smiled at her, "you both sound like a crap novel my mum would read".
This made the three of them laugh and tears well in her eyes, she bent down and did her best impression of a snake, squeezing the life from his neck as she hugged him. She ignored his cries of pain and annoyance but let go before walking round to sit with Harry. Ironically for their situation, she realised just how much she really did want to sit with Ron but didn't mind if it made him comfortable.
The three sat there in moments of silence before Ron huffed and turned to stare at them both, abandoning his paper. He leant forward with his chin leaning on his hands, "go on then, get it over with". They stared at him but remained silent. "Fine I'll start". For a moment he fell back into a spasm of terror at talking about this but took a deep breath and carried on. "I meant what I said to Ginny, I need time, I want some time alone. And part of me really doesn't want to talk to anyone about this".
Both Hermione and Harry went to speak and he put a hand up shaking his head. "You've got me rolling now so let me finish". "I don't want to hear apologies, from either of you. And that's not a demand, but if I did make one I do want us to let Ginny off on this one, I don't blame her and I know she shouldn't have done what she did but I can't have anyone giving her a hard time on this".
"And we won't", Hermione cut in, "we've seen that she's probably had the hardest time with this, of all of us".
Ron gave her a slight smile, "look you heard the most of what I had to say last night when you were both earwigging us". "I've not changed where I stand on any of it, except". He paused rubbing his neck. He tried to think of the words, but it was more difficult than he realised. "I planned on staying out all night and when I decided to come back, I waited until it got late to avoid you". "Then again, this morning and I guess I figured I'd do the same all day today and maybe tomorrow. But now we're all here and I've put myself in this now buy not just getting up and walking off".
He pulled a face thinking, "I don't know if that were the best move, but this isn't a round of Chess I've ever played before. I feel like I don't know where the pieces fit with this one". He paused for himself more than anything, but they all seemed to be mulling over his words. "But really, I'm just sat here not sure what to say, not sure what I want to hear. But I know, as much as I've needed to be alone, I know who I'd rather be sat with.". "The biggest part of me just thinks I want to just gloss over it and move on". He knew he was hardly articulating how he truly felt, talking about his feelings was never Ron's strong suit.
Understandably there was another long pause until Harry spoke up. "I won't apologise mate, not because I don't think your owed one but because I think, knowing you, I'd act the same way and I reckon we'd just want to act normal and not be weird about it".
"It'd be nice", he nodded to himself, "I think it's going to get weird but…". He screwed up his face, annoyed he was back to stewing over him and Hermione and Harry like he had at the start of term. Thinking it might be best to just say it, rather than thinking it he said, "at the start of term I was constantly arguing with my head about all this".
"What do you mean?" Hermione said softly and leaned forward. A small part of her wanted to hold his hand.
"I had daily's with my head about", he winced, "you and me". He couldn't help noticing her cheeks redden. "And then you and Harry, I felt like the odd one out all the time and I think part of me knew, but didn't want to believe it. Then I'd get so angry at myself that I kept hating on the two of you". He strained his voice in embarrassment, "I believe you heard what I said last night about you both". When they both stared at him, puzzled, he groaned. "I may or may not have used the 'L' word". Hermione gave a soft but kind laugh. "Well, I didn't think much of myself every time I got angry at you both, But it was hard noticing so much of, well, what you were doing". "But now, I don't know". His face screwed up as he stared at Hermione as he said in frustration, "is it wrong that I sort of just, don't want to care about it anymore, now that we are actually having this out. About you two being a couple".
Hermione blinked at hearing this and had to think hard herself. It was quite upsetting in one way to hear him say that he didn't want to care but on the other hand. "I, don't know". She looked at Harry for help.
He opened his mouth to speak but drew a blank. Not realising he was thinking the same as Hermione he asked, "do you mean you don't care about us?" He couldn't hide the hurt in his voice, "as in you don't think you want to carry on this friendship". Hermione looked hurt as she looked between them both.
"No!" Ron stamped out quickly, "how I feel about you both hasn't changed". "I guess what I think I mean is. I think I don't care that you're a couple and would rather you were just, a couple". He shook his head confusing himself.
"No wait!" Hermione looking at him intently, she believed she had figured out what he was thinking but was unable to put into words. "Are you saying that…"she paused, "while we can't just go back to how we were. You want us to try to fit back into some sort of resemblance of that. Rather than the three of us stop being friends I mean…. You just want us to all carry on, but with an acceptance that me and Harry are together. No trying to hide anything?".
Ron erred and stared from Hermione to Harry and back again. "I think so, yeah", he finished a bit brighter as it sat in his head.
"Can we do that though", Harry chipped in, "Can we just carry on as normal but two of us are, well, Fancy Man and Scarlet Woman".
Hermione took a swipe at him, but Ron took no notice and just stared at Hermione. When she saw the look on his face she honed in on him. "Can you do that Ron?" she didn't care if their relationship got weird, right now all she cared about was not losing Ron. Even if it meant never touching Harry while she was around him. "You did say you really needed time before".
Ron swallowed and started to nod getting more confident now that he'd heard it from someone else's mouth. "Yeah, I think so, I think it needed to come from someone else for me to get my head round it but, yeah it's what I'd prefer". Now understanding as it came from her mouth and not his helped. "Thing is I kind of think it's the only way I could accept you both", he added. "I did say that though and, well it's true. I think I am just going to go off sometimes and want to be alone but were any of us really expecting to be sat here going over this". They all exchanged a look, "exactly, gods I didn't want this but, well I was wrong. We're getting through it".
Not wanting to let Hermione completely off Ron said, "and I obviously don't want to be there when you're both necking on with each other", internally he giggled as she winced, "but I don't want you getting weird and playing it down around me either".
"Really?" Harry was stunned.
"Yes", and again Ron answered firmly, surprising himself with how honest that realisation was. "I'd honestly rather put up with you two as a couple than not at all". "I mean, all this depends on if you're coming out or not".
"Coming out?" Harry again looked on with a blank face.
"Well, I'm guessing you both kept this secret on my behalf, right? obviously I don't think you saw Ginny in the bigger picture but, it is what it is, but… what's next?"
Harry and Hermione looked at each other with the same blank face that Harry hadn't stopped wearing. "I, err, don't know".
"We never really got that far", Hermione looked back at Ron realising he was seeing this as a bigger picture in a day than she had in months.
"Well if my advice is worth anything I'd say the last thing you need is this lot going potty". He smiled kindly but felt sad for them in an instant when it occurred to him that they weren't on the same page as him, "It's Harry Potter's first girlfriend mate", and now Ron did look at them with real sincerity in his eyes. "it's going to be huge!"
Hermione's eyes grew in realisation as she snapped to look between them both, Harry too looked nervous. "Oh Harry!" she whispered, "we never considered that bit".
Ron instantly felt guilty, which he also felt was ironic. "Look you two", he said a little forceful, "this has been a shower of shi-…", he swore, ignoring Hermione's cross eyebrows, "you don't need any more hardship sticking on the end of it". "Now, I'd say don't come out, keep it quiet and well". He shrugged, "look at how far we've managed since last night, yeah. Carry on keeping it quiet for now for your own sake for once". The corners of Ron's mouth curled as he chose a nice crude analogy to aim again at his friend, "and, I'd rather not see you two smashing your pumpkin pasties", he practically died internally with laughter at the look of Horror on Hermione's face. "But If I had to choose, I'd rather my best mates wanted to be around me. So, if you two carry on hiding it from everyone and don't get a load of time to hold hands or, I don't know what you get up to, cuddle and stuff. Then if that's you and you're thing then, I'd rather you did it when the three of us are alone so you can at least relax together. I'd rather you together with me being real than being stuck in a room alone pretending when we all already know. Just relaxed and being yourselves". "Minus the fondle-fests".
Harry laughed but quietened when Hermione gave him a stern look. She turned back to Ron, tears in the corner of her eyes again and she shot up to lean over the table, arms outstretched to hug him.
"Bloody hell girl, No!".
Pansy and Tracey made their way down to the Common Room when they were both dressed. They found Liza and Harrier sat pouring over a Transfiguration book. Pansy noticed a group of fresh faced first year boys eyeing them from across the room.
"Hey", Harrier called as they approached, "still attached at the hip I see".
"You two can talk", Tracey replied, "when was the last time either of you went to the toilet alone, wiping each other's arses", she tutted.
"Jealous much?" Liza teased, "never had a best friend have you, on account of you being an annoying arse".
"Meh", Tracey gave her mocking grunt and held Pansy's hand high in the air in hers, "fwends…".
Pansy pulled her hand away as they chuckled, "idiot", she laughed.
"Where's Lady Redmond-Reed", Tracy asked in a mock regal accent as she sat on the arm of Liza's chair.
"Oh you know, probably polishing another coat of war paint to those talons of Her's while weighing up that fourth year she has her eye on", Harrier spoke with her nose back in her book.
"She's probably right next to you lurking over your shoulder", Pansy said quietly as she saw Farah coming up behind Harrier, silently avoiding the other's gazes.
"Huh?" Harrier said looking up, to her right, to meet Pansy in confusion, "Yeah sure she is". Harrier waved a hand absently over her shoulder as she made to look back at her book. Turning her head, she let out a shriek and jumped as Farah leaned down, filling Harrier's view as she looked to her left. The others began cackling with laughter. "Merlin Pansy! I thought you were just being weird. And you!" She turned to Farah, hand on her chest.
"Me with her painted talons", Farah hissed as she shook her long nails at Harrier, the effect helped on with the endless number of bangles she had circling her wrists. "He's a sixth year by the way, and not mine I'll have you know, not yet anyway".
"You'll give me a pissing heart attack, pup!" Harrier scolded. It did nothing but made the others laugh more at her fright.
Pansy was smiling quietly as they mingled momentarily until a cool voice behind her spoke.
"So, this is where you spend your time now, you're making me question why I hang around with such an ugly crew".
Pansy's eyes widened as she chilled. "Draco!" she gasped as she turned to face him. Not being around him up close in what felt like such a long time she was stunned she found him towering over her. His sudden appearance was like an icy bucket of water being poured over her. Her breath caught in her chest, and she couldn't breathe through it.
"Pansy", he purred, and it sent a shiver running over her again, "thought I'd ask for a word with you". He bowed his head lightly to her and automatically she did the same.
"Draco", Tracey said airily, "always good having you stop by". She stood up and walked round him, to Pansy. She wrapped her arms around her from behind and smiled goofily at him, "Problem is I just promised this one", she looked at Pansy, "that we'd get some breakfast so, you know". She leaned forward and whispered, "gets cranky when she hasn't eaten".
Instantly the others all stood and pulled up their bags, each one of them standing directly behind Pansy. They all greeted Draco politely then waved an even more charming Goodbye to him, frog marching Pansy out of the Common Room.
"What the hell was that?" Harrier hissed as they left the Common Room.
"Later", Tracey hissed back wanting to be further away before she told them. Pansy had updated Tracey on Millicent's warning as they walked, very slowly, from their Dormitory to the Common Room.
Still a little out of focus from turning round to be nosed to nose with Draco, Pansy took a moment to be in sync with the girls. "Tracey, I don't think you should have done that", she said quietly.
"Pansy, he doesn't own you and he isn't lord of the friggin' manor in Slytherin either".
Pansy went along being pushed forwards by them all, the pack, as she now seemed to see that they acted. It was very endearing of them all, but Pansy couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding that now sat in her stomach. It was accompanied by the feeling that she was in trouble, or she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't.
The girls approached the end of the Slytherin table in the Great Hall as they chose the similar approach to the one Pansy had when she was avoiding Draco's group the first morning back. They sat very close to the Professors table, while it was a lot less used on a weekend it would still have a small handful of the teaching staff up there. Just in case they felt the need to further shield the girl from Draco.
As she entered, Pansy found herself instantly locating Weasley over on the Gryffindor table. The realisation that her first instinct was to locate him was as shocking as finding Draco lurking behind her. In that moment she thought that perhaps it was just the gossip of his strange disappearance up to the Red's tower and the mysterious House Court. Then he turned as she came in and her eyes met his, she reddened instantly, feeling her cheeks flush. She wanted to shout at him as he instantly flashed her a dark smile, it was calculated and full of malicious intent and she wanted to Curse him for it. She liked it of course, he still looked as handsome as he had the day before and-
"Hey!", Harrier clapped her hands at Pansy, "focus!" She shook her head as they all sat down. "No no", she pointed at Pansy, "you park your arse here next to me, not having you playing googly eyes with him all morning".
Pansy surprised herself by laughing along with the others.
"You've got it bad girl", Liza tipped her head.
"Shut up no I don't", Pansy brushed her off.
"Think you mean Gal", Harrier cut over evenly and it made the others raise their eyebrows. Farah let out a little squeal of excitement. "Quiet!" Harrier scolded her with a flash of her eyes.
Pansy was not up to speed on any of what was going on or what Harrier had said. She didn't understand what it meant but to her ears Harrier spoke almost angrily when she silenced Farah. She had learnt that Harrier had a very cutting tongue and seemed to lead them all more than Tracey as was Pansy's first belief. More to add to the confusion the girl then gave Pansy a small smile, almost as if she could read her doubting thoughts, all the while she stroked the head of her Snake pendant absentmindedly.
Pansy tried to eye her questions to Tracey and was happy to see the girl instantly understood her but disappointed when she shook her head at her. She was clearly being told to hold her tongue on it.
Odder still, as she looked at all of them entirely, she saw that they were all still staring at her with mild looks of satisfaction. All the while with Harrier sat caressing the head of her snake necklace.
A/N
The letters: this was the general body of this story but again it was years ago and I've, like an idiot, tried to continue a story that I couldn't remember my own original plot for. Its meant that while I wanted to carry on with this idea of the letters unknowingly linking them until a later reveal, they do sadly take a back seat to the rest of the story as it unfolds.
It doesn't mean that they won't continue, but they didn't take up the bulk of the story like first planned.