"Harper, watch out!" Cole yelled, his face twisting in a look of pure aggravation as he lowered his controller. The game over sign flashed in red on the screen as if taunting them. "You've got to be kidding me. This is the fifth game we've lost. In a row. It's like you're not even paying attention. I mean, do you even want to play because it doesn't look like you do."
Harper blinked slowly as his words made their way into her brain and pulled her from the fog. "Of course I want to play," she told him with a reassuring smile. "I was just trying to figure out which button to press and… sorry, I'll do better."
"You'll do better," he muttered with a shake of his head. "You've been out of it since yesterday. You just keep staring off into space like this." A glazed look came over his face as he focused on one spot in the living room. "Like a freaking zombie."
"Hey!" Harper said defensively. "I don't - that's not what I look like."
He fixed her with a look and dramatically rolled his eyes.
"Okay, fine. I guess I'm kinda spacing out today." Harper sighed as she spun the controller in her hand.
The truth was, the decision Judge Johnson came to the other day weighed heavily on her mind. The thought of spending two weeks out of the month with Ryan until the court decided about his parental rights felt like a punishment. It was all she could think of. She was trapped in a situation she had no control over. The uncertainty of her future hovered over her like a dark cloud. Harper found herself replaying the judge's words over and over again. Worst-case scenarios played through her mind and she struggled to keep the weight of it from crushing her. Every attempt to push these thoughts out of her mind only made them more persistent. She'd get through it because what choice did she have? But the logical part of her mind kept ringing alarms, warning her to brace for the worst. She was left in a constant state of unease as the impending court decision cast a shadow over everything she tried to enjoy.
"Kinda?" Cole asked, his face scrunched up. "What's going on with you? Even mom and dad are acting weird. You've been all spacey for days. It's not just the game, right? I know when something's bugging you, Harper. And I'm not buying the whole "I'm fine" act. If something's up, can you just tell me?"
"It's nothing. Everything's fine," Harper told him with what she hoped was a comforting smile. He didn't know about the judge's decision yet. The less he knew, the less he'd worry. Not wanting him to fire off a dozen more questions, she picked up the controller and focused on the TV. "Ready to kick my butt again?"
"Always," Cole said, grinning.
The game restarted and she kept her attention focused on the game this time. The troubled thoughts continued to swim in her mind, begging for her full attention but she didn't allow them to have power over her.
The minutes went by quickly and soon the daylight started to fade. When the sun was lower in the sky, casting a golden glow into the room, the doorbell rang. Her heart skipped a beat, the sound like a jolt to her already frayed nerves. Cole groaned and paused the game, and she tried to calm the flutter of worry in her chest. She tried to steady her breathing but the anticipation of who was at the door made her feel nervous, unsettled. The doorbell rang again, more insistent this time, and Cole looked over at her with a roll of his eyes.
"I'll get it," he grumbled and left the room in a rush.
Harper watched Cole leave the room with a sense of dread and curiosity. She put the controller down and rubbed at her eyes, which were tired of staring at the screen for so long. It had to have been over two hours but she was thankful for the distraction. For not letting the thoughts consume her for once.
"Harper, your boyfriends here! Or your ex-boyfriend. Actually, I don't really know what he is but he's here!" Cole yelled into the house.
Confusion clouded her features before she joined Cole at the front door. Her eyes widened when she saw Hawk standing in the doorway.
"Hey, foster!"
"You can't - what are you doing here?" Harper asked as she not-so-subtly pushed him out of the house.
Hawk looked down at her in amusement, barely moving an inch despite her attempts to push him. "What? I can't stop by to say 'hi'?"
"No. Not really," Harper said, trying to figure out what possessed him to show up here. Not only were they broken up but Lucas had made it clear how he felt about them. "Why are you really here?"
"You haven't been replying to my texts so I thought I'd check on you."
"Well, I'm alive. So thanks for stopping by but you really need to go." She motioned for him to leave but he just smiled that annoying smile at her.
"Harper, who are you talking to?" Lucas asked, his voice too close to the entryway.
"Nothing. I mean, no one. Everything's fine," she said too quickly, glaring at Hawk and the fact that he was still standing there. She lowered her voice to a harsh whisper, her eyes pleading. "Will you please just go?" She said quietly just as footsteps sounded behind her.
Turning around, she stood in front of Hawk and plastered a fake smile on her face just as Olivia and Lucas appeared from around the corner. Her cheeks were flushed, and she nervously shifted on her feet. Her sad attempt at acting casual wasn't helping the situation. Lucas crossed his arms and his expression grew wary as he looked past her, clearly unhappy with the visitor.
"I think they can see me. You know, since I'm taller than you," Hawk mumbled only to get elbowed in the ribs. He winced but covered it up with a smile.
"What are you doing here, Eli?" Lucas asked.
"Nothing. I mean, I was just checking on fos - I mean, Harper. I was gonna see if she wanted to get something to eat but-"
"I don't think that's a good idea," Lucas finished for him, his voice strangely cold.
Hawk nodded like this was the most obvious answer. Taking a step back and gesturing toward his car, he said, "Yeah, no. It's… it was just a thought but I should probably just go."
Harper's heart sank at the dismissiveness of Lucas's tone. A quiet sigh escaped her lips at the situation. She understood why but this wasn't a side to him she was used to seeing. And while she'd convinced herself that she was completely done with Hawk, she half wanted to stop him from leaving. To tell Lucas that he wasn't being fair but given how much the last week had kicked them down and how much her foster parents were sacrificing for her, she knew it'd be selfish to ask for them to be okay with their friendship. Or their acquaintanceship. Whatever it was.
Harper gave him a sad smile, too scared to speak up. Her eyes followed him as he turned to leave, and she felt a pang of regret and longing for things to be simpler. Easier.
"Lucas, can I talk to you?" Olivia spoke up at that moment, tugging on his arm to get him to follow. He frowned down at her, shaking his head but her persistence won and they excused themselves for a moment. Harper's heart pounded as she watched them disappear around the corner.
"Wow! My dad really doesn't like you. Like he actually hates you. I mean, did you see the way he looked at you? Even I got scared," Cole said with a shudder as he looked up at him with wide eyes, as if he had just witnessed something tragic.
"Yeah, I think I got that," Hawk said with a nervous laugh and looked in the direction the Hudson's disappeared in. "I don't know why he hates me, though. I didn't really do anything."
Cole snorted, rolling his eyes. "You didn't do anything? You're kidding, right?"
"Not really, no." Hawk shrugged before throwing a curious look her way. "What did I do?"
"I just think he's-" Harper started but Cole talked over her with an overzealous tone. His voice brimmed with a mix of mischief and eagerness, as if he couldn't wait for the chance to gossip.
"Because you broke her heart, dumbass," Cole stated. "You did something because one day, she went out for pizza with her friend and then she came home all upset because of you."
Harper felt her skin heat up. She wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear at that exact moment. Her face felt as if it was on fire, and she mentally cursed Cole for his lack of tact. Feeling Hawk staring at her only made the embarrassment ten times worse, and she refused to meet his eye. "That's not exactly why," she mumbled, her voice just above a whisper.
"Or it could be because of karate. You kinda got her involved in some big karate war that's honestly just stupid," Cole said with a shrug before his eyes lit up. He stared up at Hawk with a serious yet questioning look. "You really taught her all those karate moves? Like all the kicks and punches and all that stuff?"
Thrown off by Cole's ability to change from one topic to the next in a heartbeat, Hawk nodded slowly. "Yeah, she was kinda a slow learner, though," he said with a grin.
"I was not!" Harper protested, her cheeks burning with embarrassment and irritation. "You were just a bad teacher. Instead of teaching me, you just picked on me the whole time. It was always 'you're doing this wrong' or 'you need to try harder'."
"Yeah, don't listen to her. I was a great teacher. She was just bad. Like really bad. It took her forever to learn a few simple moves. Not only that but I think she even hit herself a few times, right, foster?" Hawk's grin widened as he teased her, his eyes glinting with amusement. He bumped her arm before adding, "But she got better in the end."
"I hate you," Harper mumbled with a shake of her head.
"So you can teach me, right?" Cole's excitement was barely contained as he bounced from one foot to the other. "I'll learn faster than Harper, I promise! I think I've got some of the moves down already. Want to see?" He demonstrated a kick with exaggerated enthusiasm but his lack of coordination caused him to stumble. A potted plant was knocked over, and the dirt spilled across the porch while Cole froze mid-fall. "Oops," he said, a sheepish grin spreading across his face.
Harper righted the pot though now the poor plant was a little crooked. "I think that's a-"
"Great idea. If you want to learn, I can teach you some moves," Hawk said. "Ow! Will you stop elbowing me in the ribs? Shit, foster, that actually hurt."
"Then stop being an idiot. You're absolutely not teaching Cole anything. Unless you actually want Lucas to kill you." Despite her sharp tone, there was a hint of playful warning in her eyes.
Hawk started to respond but Olivia and Lucas appeared at that moment.
"Oh, you're still here," Lucas said flatly upon noticing Hawk.
"Lucas," Olivia warned with a shake of her head. A few seconds passed before she nodded in their direction. "Go on, tell them."
Lucas threw a painful look at Olivia before sighing heavily. His expression was a mix of frustration and concern as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You two can hang out for a bit but only if it's something that Harper wants. Olivia thinks it would be good for you to leave the house. You've been cooped up inside for too long."
"We both think that," Olivia corrected with an exasperated but warm shake of her head. "School's starting back up for both of you next week and I think you deserve to get out and have some fun."
"Are you sure?" Harper asked hesitantly, half wondering if this could be some sort of test. That if she answered incorrectly it would result in something bad. But looking at Olivia, she knew that she was being given the option genuinely. There were no tricks or anything. "Do you still want to?" She asked Hawk, knowing that she'd feel stupid if she agreed but he backed out. Or if it had been just an excuse he'd given Lucas for why he was here.
"Yeah, of course," Hawk answered easily.
Don't do this. It's a bad idea. You're supposed to stay away from him.
"Okay," Harper said instead, ignoring all the alarms going off in her head.
"I'll have her home by…," Hawk paused and glanced down at his phone. "Seven-thirty?"
"It's almost six. Have her home by eight-thirty," Lucas said though he sounded visually pained by pushing the time back. By allowing her to be out with him for over two hours.
"Ten," Olivia countered, shooting another warning look at her husband who started to protest. "It's the weekend, Lucas. Stop being so strict."
Lucas ran a hand down his face before nodding reluctantly. "Fine. But I need you to understand this, Eli. I'm only allowing this because it's been a rough week for Harper. I don't want you taking advantage of this chance. So, I'm setting a hard limit. Have her back by ten. No excuses."
"Y-yeah, got it," Hawk said. "Ready to go?"
Harper nodded and to her foster parents she said, "I'll be home later."
"Have a good time!" Olivia said cheerfully.
"There's one more thing," Lucas said just as they turned to leave. "I don't want you to get any wrong ideas here, Eli. This is a one-time thing. But after tonight, I want you to keep your distance. No texting, no coming around, nothing. I'm still not happy with what you got Harper involved in, and I don't exactly trust you, either. Am I clear?"
Hawk nodded once, seeming to be at a loss for words. His shoulders tensed as he absorbed Lucas's stern warning and looked down for a moment before meeting Lucas's eyes with a serious expression. "Yeah, I get it. Look, I know I'm on thin ice here but I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. I just want her to be okay."
Lucas remained cautious but his gaze softened slightly. Taking a deep breath, he nodded slowly. "Alright. I'm holding you to that. I just need to make sure she's safe and not getting mixed up in anything that can hurt her. If you care about her like you say you do, you'll respect my rules and give her the space she needs. And if you prove you're reliable, maybe things will change. But for now, stick to the boundaries."
They walked to the car in silence, the weight of Lucas's stern gaze heavy on their shoulders. Harper looked over her shoulder to where Lucas stood rigidly by the front door, his arms crossed and his expression carved in frustration. Reaching to open the passenger door, she bumped into Hawk who was scrambling to hold it open before her. Shooting him a curious look, she shook her head before she got into the car. Not a moment later, Hawk got in the driver's seat and started up the car, wincing at the loud music that blasted from the speakers. He threw a panicked look out the window, quickly adjusting the volume to just above a decibel.
Slowly, so very slowly, he pulled out of the driveway and out onto the street. His grip on the steering wheel was white-knuckled, his fingers tensed as though the wheel would offer some stability against his nerves. He frequently looked in the rearview mirror as if expecting Lucas to be chasing them down the street. His sole attention was focused on the road in front of him while his usually confident demeanor was replaced with a jittery focus.
And it was then that it dawned on her why Hawk looked so tense.
"You're terrified of him," Harper commented with an amused smile, finding it funny that someone like Lucas scared him.
Hawk jumped at the sound of her voice and then nodded. "Obviously. You've never heard him get mad in class before, foster. It's scary. He's pretty freakin scary but this was some next level shit. Seeing him in protective dad mode was like a scene out of a horror movie."
Harper winced. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I didn't think he'd go off like that. He can be pretty intense."
"Don't worry about it. He just cares about you," Hawk replied with a smile though he still looked shaken up. "It's a good thing, foster. That he cares that much. He's got your back, and I know how important that is to you"
Harper nodded, not doubting how much her foster family loved her. It was still very much a foreign feeling to her but one she slowly was getting used to.
"So, what's the plan? Obviously, we're getting food but is there anything you want to do?"
"Not really, no. Anything's fine."
The truth was, she was just happy to be out of the house. To be able to get out of her head and not think about the dozens of problems that continued to stack themselves on top of one another. Adding to the multitude of shit she already had to deal with. It was nice to be able to talk to someone other than her foster parents, who constantly asked how she was holding up or wanted to convince her that everything would work out in the end. They meant well, she knew that. But she needed to appear strong, unfazed throughout all of this.
And she knew this was why Olivia convinced Lucas to let her out of the house. To give her a chance to breathe. To give her a few hours where she could be a normal kid and not one that was swamped with problems.
Harper glanced over at Hawk, and she couldn't shake the intrusive thought that nagged at her. Twisting the bracelet around her wrist, she asked, "You did want to hang out tonight, right?"
"Yeah," he answered slowly, throwing a bewildered look her way. "Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know," Harper said with a sigh while she watched the neighborhood pass by in a blur. "My foster parents kinda put you on the spot back there and maybe you felt like you had to say yes. I just didn't want you to have to feel like you had to come out with me because of it. I don't want you to waste your Saturday night with-"
"I'm not," he interrupted, quickly looking her way. "It would've been awkward as hell to say no but I would've made something up but I didn't. You know I always want to hang out with you."
"Yeah. I just, I don't know. I guess I figured that with everything that happened between us, you wouldn't want to see me," Harper said.
"Seriously? That's so dumb, foster, because you know I still like you. A lot. And you can break up with me twenty more times and I'll still be here. I promised you that I'm not going anywhere, remember?"
A smile tugged at her lips at hearing him say that. It was a contrast to the emotional rollercoaster she was on. To admit that he actually wanted to be around her despite everything they'd been through. Despite the countless times she'd pushed him away. It was rare for someone to want to stick by her when she was so used to people walking away at the slightest bit of trouble.
Hawk returned the smile. Reaching across the console, he hesitated before covering her hand with his. When she didn't pull away, he threaded his fingers through hers and squeezed lightly. His touch was warm, a comforting presence in the midst of her troubled thoughts.
Her heart skipped a beat or perhaps it had stopped beating entirely. Harper knew that she was entering dangerous territory once again, at risk of making the same choices that led to her friends hating her. The right thing to do would be to pull her hand free from his grasp and run. To forget about him as she'd so desperately tried to do for the last ten days of her suspension. But one minute alone with him and she was right back at square one.
She chose to ignore the alarms going off in her head.
Because she was desperate.
Desperate to have a friend.
Desperate for the connection and comfort that Hawk provided.
Because her foolish heart still held onto the feelings that she felt for him.
So she let herself be pathetically desperate and foolish, and she let herself feel things that she shouldn't.
"So this kinda doesn't work with your whole dating plan, does it?" Harper asked after a moment.
"What dating plan?"
"You know, the one you mentioned on the first day of school. How you were gonna date around this semester."
Hawk laughed, surprising her. "I only said that to get a reaction out of you. To make you jealous."
"Oh. Right. I knew that."
"No, you didn't," he said with a playful grin. "But it worked, didn't it? You were definitely jealous "
"Absolutely not," Harper said, shaking her head as if it would strengthen her answer.
He rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Admit it, foster. You were jealous."
"Shut up," Harper said, rolling her eyes.
The center of town was considerably busy. Music poured out of shops and restaurants, the melodies blending together with the dozens of conversations as people enjoyed a Saturday evening out. The temperature was no longer oppressively hot so everyone was taking advantage of being outside - relishing the warm breeze and the coolness of the evening.
It looked like the whole town was out. Kids their age and younger were joking around while older adults were enjoying the weekend before the new week of school and work would begin once again.
The thought of school restarting brought on another wave of anxiety. The first day had been an absolute shit show and now with her friends not talking to her, she'd be on her own. She was capable of being alone, probably more than any girl her age should be. But it wasn't just the idea of navigating classes by herself, it was the feeling of isolation that made it unbearable. Because for once in her life, she'd had friends. And now those friends hated her. So it would be even more awkward to pretend like they hadn't hung out all summer long.
"Sorry, I didn't think we'd have to park so far away," Hawk said to what he assumed was the reason for her silence. "It's busier than I thought."
"It's fine," Harper said with a reassuring smile, forcing herself to focus on the present and ignore the swirling doubts about her friends and the whole situation. She toyed with the bracelet around her wrist, fighting against another thought that troubled her. One that she felt safer admitting. "It's just weird being out like this. You know, together. Where anyone can see us."
They used to have to be so careful to make sure no one spotted them together. And now here they were: walking through town, talking and not sticking to the shadows. It was both exhilarating and unsetting that anyone could see them.
"Yeah, it kinda is," he admitted before throwing a look her way. "Are you worried your friends will see us?"
"No." The realization of him not knowing that her friends knew everything slowly dawned on her. As did the guilt for not telling him as soon as the secret had been out. It was something she'd promised to do but the chaos of the last week pushed that thought out of her mind. "They actually kinda know everything," she said, watching him for some type of reaction but none came.
"Yeah, I kinda figured," he admitted. "People were talking when they saw you fighting back and I didn't see the point in lying to everyone, you know?"
Harper nodded, knowing all too well how useless it would be to try to keep the secret safe. "Sam and Demetri were asking questions and I couldn't lie to them anymore either."
"How'd they take it?"
"Pretty much exactly like how I thought they would," Harper said with a sigh, wishing she'd told them sooner. Wishing that she'd never gone behind their backs to begin with. "How'd your friends react?"
Hawk shrugged but smiled at her reassuringly. "They talked shit at first but I shut them up. They're not exactly okay with it but I don't really care. I think it pisses them off that I don't care."
"At least they're still talking to you," Harper said.
"They're seriously not talking to you?" Hawk asked, surprised. "That's messed up, foster. I figured they'd be mad but they're overreacting."
"Maybe. But I kinda deserve it, though. They're right to hate me for it. I lied to them for months, Hawk. I went behind their back the moment we started training and then when we were… I don't know, we were something and I just kept on lying to them. Over and over again."
Hawk listened to her as she justified their anger towards her but it was clear that he didn't believe it. "Yeah, but you lied because you were scared to tell them. Just give them some time. They're mad now but they'll get over it."
"I don't think they will," Harper said, nervously twisting the bracket around her wrist. "I mean, you didn't see the way they looked at me. They looked betrayed and like they couldn't believe I kept such a big secret from them. Demetri looked so hurt and Sam was pissed. She basically kicked me out of her house."
"They don't hate you," he said as if he truly believed that.
Harper blinked. "Did you not hear me when I told you how they reacted?"
"No, I heard you."
"So you honestly believe they don't hate me? After everything I did to them."
"They don't," Hawk repeated, more serious this time. "Look, I know Demetri and he's not capable of hating anyone. He might be mad and disappointed but there's no way he hates you. And neither does Sam. She's just mad that you lied and that we were friends. Are friends," he said, giving her a small smile. "But she'll get over it. She tried to make up with Aisha after they had their fight, which was pretty messy. It'll be okay, I promise."
Harper desperately wanted to believe that. She wanted to think that their hating her would pass and that they'd go back to being friends. But her past experiences with people and life told her that things rarely fixed themselves. Nothing was ever that easy. Not in her life anyway.
But she could focus on that for the rest of the night or she could choose to enjoy it. She was tired of letting the bad control her so she opted to focus on the present. Her smile grew as she looked at the bustling town whose energy was a stark contrast to the heaviness she felt inside.
"Is that it up there?" Harper pointed towards the food truck that had a line at least a dozen people long.
Hawk smiled as he caught sight of it. "Yeah, you'll love it. It's worth the wait," he said as he grabbed hold of her hand and pushed their way towards the back of the line. "I came here with Miguel a few times and it was great! The truck moves to a different location every so often so you kinda have to look for it but Miguel says that they have the best Spanish food in the area and that it's almost as good as the food his grandma makes."
"That's pretty high praise." Harper tried to glance at the menu but it was impossible to see from this far back. The anticipation of trying something new excited her and offered a small distraction from her worries.
"Yeah, you can't really go wrong with anything you order. It's all good," he told her. "And they don't sell anything with sweet potatoes so it's already better than most of the places we've been to."
Harper rolled her eyes at the comment. "You had one, one, sweet potato fry that day and gave up. You've never even given them a chance!"
"Yeah, I did. Look, I'm not saying that they're bad, they're just not good."
"Yeah, we'll see about that. I'll get you to like them," she said, laughing at the horrified look on his face. "I mean, there's so many things you haven't even tried yet that you need to."
"Okay, stop," he said after she rambled off different foods that he'd have to try. Unimpressed, he shook his head but a smile broke through the frown. "There's seriously something wrong with you, foster. All of those things sound disgusting and there's no way in hell I'm going to try them. Ever."
"Stop being so dramatic."
Hawk stared at her, a teasing look in his eyes. "I'm not. And just for that, I'm eating all the chips and guac. You get nothing. Maybe you can find some sweet potato chips instead."
"Now you're being a jerk! You can't do that."
Harper shoved him lightly, her fingers pressing against his arm. In response, he swiftly wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. She tried to pull away but his hold on her was strong, a mix of playful strength and unexpected tenderness.
"Let me go," she demanded, though her voice held more amusement than annoyance.
"Not a chance," he said, laughing at the murderous look she shot him. "You know, you're pretty cute when you try to look scary."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
And it was true. Harper didn't hate him.
She liked him and the intensity of those feelings terrified her.
The line moved surprisingly fast and pretty soon it was their turn to order. It took Harper a moment to figure out what she wanted but with the prices listed, she based her choice off of the cheapest item. Hawk noticed her hesitance and, with a resigned sigh, over-ordered again and declined her offer to pay him back. It was a back-and-forth issue every time they got food but Harper wanted to save money. She never knew when things would go south and wanted to be prepared, unlike the last time she'd tried to run away with only ten dollars to her name. Not that she was planning on leaving but life liked to play cruel games with her.
Drinks in hand, they waited off to the side for their food to be made. It felt weird but nice to be out in the open like this. Their secret was officially out so they had no reason to hide in the shadows. Maybe not everyone agreed with their friendship but Harper couldn't deny that it's what they were. Despite ending things with him over how he'd treated her friends, she couldn't seem to stay away for too long.
Their number was called out a few minutes later and they scanned the crowded area for an open table. They walked past occupied tables, hoping to find an empty one.
"How about there?" Hawk nodded at a table with a couple of kids who looked a few years younger than them. They were in the middle of settling in with their food.
"I think they just sat down."
"I can get them to move. It'll be easy," he said with a shrug, starting for the table.
Harper tilted her head in annoyance as she held him back. "You're not going to bully some kids into giving up their table," she said to which he rolled his eyes. "We'll find something else."
"Alright, fine." Hawk rolled his eyes but smiled lightly.
Her eyes lit up just as a small group stood up from one of the tables. "See? We didn't have to wait long or bully anyone. You know you can't be mean to people just to get what you want, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, nudging her towards the table before anyone could take it.
Until the food was taken out of the bag and laid out on the table, Harper didn't realize just how much they actually ordered. From a spread of appetizers to a couple generous main dishes that they would be sharing, their small table quickly became cluttered with a mountain of food. She was about to comment on their inability to order a small amount but was interrupted by her phone ringing.
"Who is it?" Hawk asked, helping himself to a chip.
"Lucas."
Raising his eyebrows, he said, "Again?"
This was the second time he called since she'd left the house. Shrugging, she let out a sigh before answering. "Hey."
"Hey, Harper. Just wanted to check in and see how everyone's going. So where are you?" Lucas asked, trying to sound casual.
"In town. We're grabbing something to eat from one of those food trucks."
"Oh, which one?" He asked eagerly. "Is it the taco one? Damn, I didn't realize it was back in our area. I should take you, Liv, and Cole there one of these days. Actually… maybe she'll even want to go tonight. They're still open, right?"
Harper glanced over her shoulder at the truck that had a never-ending line of customers. "Yeah. Yeah, they're still open but-"
"Awesome! I'll see if Liv wants to go," Lucas said despite her protests. "Hey, Liv! You up for some tacos? Yeah, from the truck. Harper says they're still open."
"Lucas, please tell me you're not talking to Harper right now. That you're not bothering her again," Olivia said in the background. "Leave her alone. She deserves to have a night out with a friend. Yes, Lucas, a friend. Hang up. Just… I'll take your phone away, I swear I will."
Harper placed a hand over her mouth to muffle her laugh.
"I'm a grown man. You can't just take my phone away." A struggle followed in the background before he said, "Gotta go, Harper. Liv's trying to..."
The call ended abruptly, and she shook her head in amusement before placing her phone on the table.
"Everything okay?" Hawk asked, lifting his brows in question.
"I think so, yeah. He was just checking on me. Again."
She couldn't help but smile. The idea that someone cared so much to check up on her, to call her repeatedly just to make sure that she was okay was so unbelievably heartwarming. Even after three months of being part of a real, genuine family was so alien to her that she continued to be touched by the simplest acts of love. It was much too precious to take for granted, to get used to.
And Harper held onto that though her grip was slowly slipping. Life was choosing another bumpy path for her and there was little she could do to prepare for it. She could hold out hope but that usually ended in disappointment so she didn't know what else to do. Because this time, it mattered to her what would happen.
She shook that thought free from her mind. Dwelling on it wouldn't do anything to help the situation and she needed a break from the twisted reality that was her life.
Crumbling the napkins into a ball, Harper swept the remainder of their litter into the paper bag. Tossing it into the trash, she fell into step with Hawk as they walked down the busy sidewalks. An easy conversation flowed between them, effortlessly shifting from topic to topic as they laughed and chatted. Their laughter blended in with the buzz of the town, creating a comfortable backdrop to their evening.
And it was at moments like this that Harper felt a confusing blend of emotions. Things between them were so easy, so natural. Without their friends around, there was no unnecessary drama to remind her of why they shouldn't work. She wished she could freeze this moment and savor the simplicity and warmth. But reality lurked just beyond and the inevitable complications waited for them once they would return to school and their friends
Like Lucas said, this was just a one-time thing — a night for Harper to get away from the chaos that was her life.
"Shit. My mom called me like five times," Hawk said after checking his phone and scrolling through the missed notifications.
"Maybe you should call her back," she suggested, her concern evident. "You know, to make sure everything's okay. Everything's okay, right?"
Hawk rubbed the back of his neck, offering a sheepish grin. "Not really. She's probably wondering where I am. I kinda left without telling her."
Raising her eyebrows, she tilted her head. "You snuck out?"
"Yeah, well, I do it all the time," he said matter-of-factly. "Usually when she's not home but she never checks in on me. I'm dead, foster. She's gonna kill me."
"No, she's not. Just call her back before she calls the cops and files a missing persons report."
Rolling his eyes, he sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be right back. Wish me luck," he said and headed towards a quieter corner to make the call.
Harper waited off to the side, a content sigh escaping her lips. It was what she'd needed without realizing it. Her eyes roamed around the streets at the shops and restaurants that were still busy despite it getting later in the night. The sun was just barely a blimp in the sky, painting it in colors of pinks and purples. All around, the street lamps sparked to life and set a cozy glow to the town.
Her smile slipped away as she looked toward two people walking out of a cafe. Sam and Demetri. They were here, walking towards her and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Each step they took amplified her anxiety. She wondered if they would notice her and half hoped that they wouldn't, that they'd pass by her because she had no idea what to say to them. Their laughter died down when they saw her and slowed to a stop.
"Hey," Harper said, her voice pathetically small. And when neither of them spoke, she filled in the awkward silence. "What are you guys up to?"
"Not much," Demetri said with a shrug though he avoided any and all eye contact. Sam's arms were tightly crossed over her chest, her posture defensive while his eyes were fixed on the ground, his hands shoved into his pockets. The lack of eye contact only deepened the gap between them. "We got some food earlier and now we're just hanging out."
"We would've invited you but we don't hangout with liars and traitors," Sam added.
Harper sighed because it would take a lot more apologies and time for them to ever forgive her. If they ever would. But she still had to try. She wasn't ready to lose her best friends or have them hate her forever. "You guys can't hate me forever."
Sam looked at her with a raised eyebrow as if challenging her.
"Look, I get that you're mad. I really do but I didn't do any of this on purpose. It just happened. I didn't go out and choose this."
"No, of course you didn't. Because you're nothing but a victim, just like you always are," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "The poor foster girl who doesn't have any control over anything in her life. Bad shit always happens to you and all that, right?"
"Sam," Demetri said, shaking his head.
Harper clenched her fists. "I'm not saying that I'm innocent but I-"
"Just save it, Harper. You knew what you were doing the whole time," Sam interrupted.
"You guys are acting like you've never made a mistake before. Like you've never done something and then regretted it," she argued back.
"But we've never stabbed a friend in the back," Demetri spoke up, cementing Harper's broken friendship with them. Possibly forever.
Harper looked on helplessly. The air between them felt heavy with unspoken words, and she knew it was more than just a simple misunderstanding — it was a rift that might never heal. There was nothing left to say and she'd exhausted all of her apologies.
"So she's not gonna kill me but I'm still in trouble for…. Oh, you're here," Hawk said, breaking the lull in the conversation. He looked from one to the other and, sensing the tension in the air, placed himself almost between them. "What's going on here?"
"Nothing. It-it's fine," Harper said.
Sam's eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out what was happening. And then just as the pieces fell into place, she let out a humorous laugh. "Of course you're here together. So much for saying that you broke it off with him. It figures you lied about that, too."
"She didn't lie about that. I just wouldn't leave her alone," Hawk said.
"Like I'd believe anything you say," Sam said before locking her gaze on Harper. "I can't believe I ever thought we were friends. You're nothing but a liar and a backstabbing-"
"Back off, LaRusso. Give her a break, will you?" Hawk said with a glare, taking an intimidating step forward. "She wanted to tell you. It's all she talked about but she was worried about you guys hating her, and it looks like she was right to worry."
"But she wasn't worried about betraying us, was she? She just did what she wanted to," Sam said.
"Kind of like you did. You know, when you changed everything about yourself and suddenly became cool and badass. That's what this is all about, isn't it? You and Hawk both making choices that hurt people around you," Demetri said though his voice was small as if worried he'd get hit just for speaking his mind.
"But I always stood up for you guys. I never turned my back on you," Harper said in another desperate attempt to get them to see things her way. Because while she screwed up, none of it had been intentional.
Sam snorted in disbelief. "Friends don't lie."
"Friends also understand when you make a mistake, Eleven," Hawk said. "The fact that she was too scared to tell you isn't her fault. That's on you, LaRusso. And don't act like you've never screwed up before. Like when you kissed Miguel at the party? Yeah, the fight at school happened because of you and now my best friend is lying in a coma because you couldn't decide who you liked better. But you're just innocent in all this, aren't you? Because you two idiots could make mistakes and everyone would feel sorry for you."
"The fight happened because your friend's a psycho," Sam said, reminding him how Tory basically declared war on them.
"Keep telling yourself that." He looked down at Harper and grabbed hold of her hand. "Come on, let's get out of here. You don't need to listen to this shit," he said before gently pulling her away.
A loud rushing sound echoed through her ears, and Harper felt numb as she let Hawk lead her away from her former friends. Her mind was a storm of sadness and regret, their anger falling heavily on her shoulders. The finality of their words felt like a gaping wound in her heart that would never close, and she was left wondering if there was any hope left in them ever forgiving her.
It was a depressing thought but one she had to get used to.
They continued to walk down the sidewalk, past small shops, cafes, and restaurants. Fairy lights twinkled against the darkening sky and created an atmosphere that forced a feeling of positivity around them. The upbeat music that blasted through the speakers tried to show that life wasn't as grim as it appeared but Harper knew better. The vibrant scene around her was a cruel contrast to the turmoil inside her. But she wouldn't be lulled into a false sense of security, not when her life was falling apart little by little. What had been held on desperately by glue was slowly cracking and chipping away.
And once again, life felt out of control.
Like the universe was playing some sick game with her. A game of give and take where she kept little of what was given to her. Like everything she'd been given was actually a lease and time was quickly running out.
The anxiety was making it difficult for her to focus even as she forced a smile onto her face at whatever joke Hawk was telling her. She appreciated the effort he made at lightening the mood but it made her feel even more guilty for being in such a foul mood. For letting her thoughts consume her when she'd done such a good job at keeping them locked away.
Lost in the whirlwind of her thoughts, Harper didn't notice where she was walking. She suddenly tipped forward, her heart leaping into her throat as her arms flailed to regain her balance.
Hawk grabbed her arm just in time and made sure that she wouldn't fall face first onto the sidewalk. Amusement danced in his eyes as he regarded her with interest. "You good, foster?"
"Yeah, I think so. Thanks," she said, her heart still thundering away from the close call. She ignored the few curious looks thrown her way as if her almost falling was an annoyance to them. Hearing laughter, she looked at Hawk and narrowed her eyes. "It really wasn't that funny, you know."
"I'm not laughing," he said, trying to cover up his laugh with a cough before he burst into a full body laughter.
Harper rolled her eyes but his laugh was too contagious and before she knew it, she was laughing, too.
"What the hell did you trip over? Air?"
"I don't know," she admitted sheepishly. "I'm not usually that clumsy."
"You're kidding, right?" He asked. "You literally punched yourself during our training sessions! And you've tripped multiple times, spilled food on yourself, and there was that one time you-"
"Okay, I get it."
"But at least this got you to smile."
The laughter started to die down but their smiles remained. And Harper felt better than she did a half hour ago. Possibly better than she felt in the last couple of weeks.
"Yeah, I guess I haven't been the best person to hangout with today. Sorry."
"I didn't mean it like that. Just that I'm worried about you. You're really quiet. What's going on?"
"Nothing." Harper shook her head. "I'm fine."
"Uh-huh. I don't believe you."
"I'm telling the truth!"
"No, you're not. You're too quiet today."
"So what? I'm just tired."
"No, you're not. You get annoyed when you're tired. Like everything-pisses-you-off kind of annoyed. You only get this quiet when something's really bothering you, but you try to act like it's nothing so you don't have to deal with it."
"That's not-"
"And when you're sad, you get embarrassed, like you don't want anyone to see you upset. Because if they do, it means whatever happened actually got to you and broke through that wall you put up. But when you're mad, that's when your real feelings show. You don't care if people see that side of you because it's the one time you're not afraid to show how you really feel."
She opened her mouth to respond but he wasn't done.
"Also, you've been twisting your bracelet around your wrist since we started walking," he added, nodding to her hand. "You do that whenever you're nervous or trying to figure out how to talk about something that's bothering you."
Harper looked down at her hand and, noticing how she fidgeted with the bracelet, she let go. "I didn't even realize I was doing that," she admitted quietly.
"And you're avoiding eye contact," he pointed out. "Wherever I bring up something that you don't want to talk about, you stare at everything except me. Like now. You keep glancing away."
"Or maybe I'm just trying not to roll my eyes at you," Harper said, though the usual fire in her tone was missing.
Hawk smirked, but there was a softness in his eyes. "Nice try, foster. But you're not fooling me. I know you too well."
Harper blinked in surprise at the fact that he noticed those things about her. That he could easily differentiate what she was feeling based on how she acted. That he picked up on the subtle changes in her attitude and expressions that even she wasn't fully aware of. The facade she'd put up wasn't as strong as she'd believed it to be. It made her feel exposed yet oddly comforted that he understood her so well. That he paid such close attention to her without her noticing.
"You also have a tell when you're lying."
"Like what?"
"I'm not gonna tell you!"
Harper rolled her eyes, trying to rack her brain on what that tell could be but came up empty.
"So what's going on? Because I already know it's something other than your fight with your idiot friends. Just talk to me, foster. Maybe I can help."
"You can't but thanks," she said, only wishing it was that easy. That by talking about her problems it would magically get fixed. Her reluctance to open up wasn't about trust but the weight of her complicated life that felt too heavy to share.
"So I'll just listen."
Letting out a breath, Harper slowly filled him in on how her adoption was postponed because Ryan suddenly wanted to play the act of her dad after twelve years of being absent. "So now I have to spend the last two weeks of the month living with him. Like a trial to see if this is what he really wants and, if it isn't, then he can just return me like nothing ever happened."
"That's… what the hell? Are you freaking kidding me?" Hawk asked angrily. "That's so messed up! After all the shit he put you through, he suddenly wants you back? And the judge just agreed?"
"This is just temporary. Until they review the application and grant him full custody. And then I'll move in with him and probably go to some stupid fancy school."
"Why are you talking as if he already won?"
"Because he already kinda did," Harper said with a shrug. "I mean, they're gonna side with him either way. Because he's rich and everyone in the business world knows him. Besides, if the judge didn't think he'd be a good fit then they probably wouldn't do this dual custody thing."
"You don't know that," Hawk argued, refusing to see her point.
"But I kinda do. And it's… it's fine. Really. I'll just live there for two years and once I'm eighteen I'll leave." Her voice carried a weary acceptance that masked the frustration and sadness she felt about her lack of control.
Hawk pulled her to a stop, a dark expression on his face. His frustration was palpable, mirroring the intensity of his concern. "You're doing it again. Acting like everything's ok when your world's literally falling apart."
"It's not like I can do anything about it."
"But what do you want? Where do you want to live?"
"It doesn't matter what I want, Hawk. I know how the system works, okay? I'm just a file to them. The judge basically told me that when I tried to speak up for myself. I don't really get a vote here. I just need to put on a smile and act grateful that someone wants the poor foster kid."
"So you're just okay with this?"
She tilted her head at how annoyed he looked but completely understood why he felt that way. "No, but I'm used to it. Of course I'd rather live with Lucas and Olivia but at least I know where I'll go this time. I won't have to wonder what horrible foster home I'll be placed in and if I'll have food or even a bed to sleep on. Or if my foster parents will be nice or if I'll get hit for something as stupid as breathing. I just… look, whatever happens, I'm okay with it," she said though her confidence in being okay was severely lacking. Her attempt to appear strong only highlighted the cracks in her facade.
Hawk wasn't convinced by her words or the situation. "It's still so messed up." Staring down at her, he tried to get a read on her thoughts and it wasn't hard. Despite trying to act okay, he saw right through her act. But one thing that she said stood out to him, troubling him. "Just how bad were your other foster homes?"
"I survived," Harper said simply because it was true. As bad as things got, she made it through to the other side. It's part of why she wasn't phased by how shitty things got and why she was so indifferent about her life turning upside down. But her voice held a note of resignation, reflecting the long-lasting impact of those experiences.
"Is that where you got this?" He touched the faint scar on her forehead that traveled up into her hairline. It was so faint that it was almost unnoticeable.
"Yeah but it's…." She stopped herself from saying 'nothing'. "It happened in the last home I was in. I don't even remember what happened but my foster dad got mad and slammed my head into the kitchen counter," she said with a shrug to show that it wasn't a big deal. It was one of the few major injuries she'd sustained over the years though not the biggest. There were others that topped that but she chose not to think about them.
"Jesus, foster. What the hell," Hawk said in disbelief. Pulling her into a hug, he tightened his arms around her before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "You deserve so much better."
It was such a small gesture but it meant the world to her. For a moment, she melted into his embrace as a mix of emotions passed through her - comfort, safety and a bittersweet sadness that she so rarely let herself feel or acknowledge. She listened to the steady beating of his heart before saying, "Thank you. You know, for everything."
His arms tightened around her as if to promise that he would be by her side while she navigated the next chaotic chapter of her life. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
"Lucas will love that," she said sarcastically with a soft laugh, reminding them that this was likely the last time they'd hang out freely.
"We'll make it work somehow," he said confidently but Harper could hear the worry in his voice.
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I hope you guys liked this chapter! I know it's super long but I'm not really sorry because I low key kinda love this.
Please let me know what you think of everything that happened. I want to hear your thoughts!
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