Hi everyone! Here is a new chapter and guess what? I actually am three chapters ahead soooooo Ill probably update in another week and a half ... Im excited for you all to read... also plz leave feedback, I legitimately have zero reviews and its giving me "does anyone still read this? SHOULD I STOP?" panic... let me know tho, seriously, even a "im still reading" so i know hahaha. ego being destroyed.
Have a GREAT week! love love love!
"What do you gals talk about in your group chat?," Trevor wondered as they walked slowly toward Sonny & Amanda's apartment, enjoying the balmy evening — both enjoying their ice creams. Olivia had paused a few times to reply to a few messages.
"Sorry, its a bit rude of me," she replied, putting her phone away.
"No," he smiled, "it's totally fine, I love that you're loving this little friendship trio. I'm just kinda curious to know what women talk about away from men."
"The same thing men talk about, I guess?," she asked, "we talk about the kids, yesterday Hannah sent some pics of Alice getting an award an End Of The Year award for Kindness & Compassion and Tara was telling us that she and Kaci have this cute little nighttime tradition of sitting side-by-side in bed or whatever playing a Hello Kitty game on their iPads and I shared some pics of Lexi today and then I showed them our pre-date picture," she explained. "Don't worry, I'll never share anything too private."
"Oh, I think I know you well enough to trust that you'd never speak out of turn, I don't mind at all, honey, I was just curious."
"I invited them. To Lexi's bday party. I'll have to get some birthday invites to give out this week on my day off. I can't believe I'm going back to work on monday."
"How do you feel about that?," Trevor asked, letting his hand slip in to hers as he finished off the cone.
"Mixed. I'll be happy to be back in the office I think, but I'm worried about how things will go on the days that I work from home. I guess we'll figure it out as we go and really, I only have like … two and a bit months before I'd officially go on maternity leave."
"It's all getting real, huh?"
"Yeah," she smiled, "I'm starting to feel pregnant too," she paused, "take away the nausea, I've not really had any bad symptoms, but … I'm really struggling with a sore back these past few days because I am feeling his weight in the front… it's only going to get worse."
"Ohhh, you should have told me, I can massage your back, I don't mind."
"Thanks," she smiled, finishing off her own cone as they neared their friend's apartment.
/
"So Trevor, tell me a little about yourself?" Sherrilyn, the elementary school principal asked once he had settled in to the comfortable leather chair across from her desk.
He hated this question, he hated talking about himself.
"Well, I've been a teacher now for around fifteen years. My first teaching role was first graders and I loved it," he smiled, "I taught elementary school for maybe the first five years, ranging through different grades before I kind of … fell in to the junior and senior high school job."
"And you've been there ever since, right?"
"Correct, yeah. I coach the football team which is a mix of Junior and Senior students and now I'm the head of the PE department which I do love, if I'm honest."
She smiled, "So, what is making you take a step in another direction if you don't mind me asking?"
"Well…" he frowned, wondering how he would put it. He remembered what Olivia told him, that it was okay to be honest and sincere. "I really don't usually talk about anything personal but I've decided to just lay it all out on the table," he started, feeling a little nervous. "I've recently become a father to three children," he smiled at her. "I'm at a transition period in my life. Awhile back now, my wife passed and there was a lot of survivor's guilt mixed up in my grief and I guess I feel like, three years on, I've finally allowed myself to let go and move on."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Trevor, that's a lot."
He smiled, "thank you, it can be a struggle, but I'm in a good place. I think a lot of that I can sometimes associate with my current job — work is where the police told me about her accident, work is where everybody knows what happened and still treat me a little … strangely," he admitted with a laugh, "the kids though, they're fantastic. My son is a student there and his Mom and I have recently adopted a two year old."
"Oh, wow! That's incredible," she smiled, "how are you finding that?"
Trevor laughed, "Like something I could have never been prepared for, but my heart has been opened up wide and just on fire for these kids," he admitted with a big grin, "we found out almost a month after adopting my 2 year old that my partner is pregnant as well, so it's a lot…"
Sherrilyn laughed a big, burst of laughter at his predicament, but he didn't mind, it was a little funny. "Wow, Trevor, I'm so sorry, I don't mean to laugh — but that's … wow," she chuckled.
He chuckled too, "No, no it's okay, it's kind of neat, its everything I wanted. I get this whole package of family without having to really go thru the hard yards, you know? But… it's also made me reevaluate things."
She nodded, listening.
"I guess I am very attached to my football team. I know it's super corny but I'm very passionate about teaching and helping out the underdog or the problem kids — I know that there's always an explanation for ill behaviour and I want to get to the bottom of it. At my current job, I'm tutoring some of my students on the side so they can't fail, I have a bunch of them on my football field to teach them about discipline, team work and to blow off their steam… And now, I just want to be able to take it easier in some areas, I want hours where I can gaurantee my partner that I can be home to take the babies and give her space or be there for family time, you know?"
"So, you're looking for more work/life balance?"
He nodded, "since my wife's passing, while supportive through the very dark days, I did nothing but throw everything in to my job because I felt like it was all I had and it did heal me in a way, but now… I just want to be able to not argue with teens in every single class I take," he smiled.
"Oh yeah, they certainly develop an attitude. I have a 13 year old at the moment who is going on 23."
Trevor laughed, "My 14 year old is … thankfully, the most beautiful kid I could have ever asked for, but he's had his fair share of problems leading up to where we are all now and I just don't want my family to get scraps of their Dad or their husband, you know? I want to feel renewed and I thoroughly enjoyed all of my time with my elementary school kids back when I taught."
"Well, those are all really good and important reasons — what do you feel like you can bring to the first grade class?"
"I know I'm 6'5ft, I can come across as a little foreboding, I will have to work on showing the kids my softer features," he smiled, "but I am a really good teacher and I am incredibly patient and I know how to make things fun within the constraints of the syllabus. I've been told I deal with emotions very well, I'm not scared of tears or skinned knees and I'm not a voice raiser, generally speaking… Usually kids understand when I mean what I say and I've never had a problem getting things done and helping my kids succeed and I can put in the extra work because in my classroom, I am genuine when I say that no kid gets left behind."
Sherrilyn was grinning at him. "And what about budgets? Our budget has been cut massively, its an actual heart break for us all — how will you deal with that?"
Trevor shrugged, "I'm happy to do what needs to be done — I know it's not the school's fault and I can make it work. I am happy to work with fundraising ideas for the school, I really believe that the local communities don't want to see education suffer and a lot of people out there are willing to help, we just have to find them, so that's really not something that bothers me."
"We don't do a lot of school field trips or anything like that, we don't like any kid to have to go without and we can't afford to fund a lot of things."
Trevor shrugged, "I'll work that out when the time comes, but that doesn't bother me. Sherrilyn, I am a very easy going man, I will make things work to suit me and my students and I'm going to be really honest with you, I want this job very much."
She slowly smiled at him. "Do you think sometimes Mom's might take an issue with a male teacher for their first grade children?"
"Maybe," he shrugged, "and my partner is a captain of the Manhattan special victims which is sex crimes and other special victims, so none of that is lost on me, but I also think that avenue does come tinged with a little sexism. I think I have learned to protect myself; door-open policies. I am okay with giving cuddles to small kids, but they have to initiate it and I keep in open communication with parents at all times."
She nodded slowly. "Okay. Well Trevor, I think this all sounds pretty impressive. Your resume looks great, you have a lot of recommendations and I guess all that's left is a tour if you're up for it?"
"Of course, he smiled. "Let's do it."
/
"Why should we feel weird about being here?" Trevor asked Olivia softly, "this is not Raia's house, this is my parents house and they invited us here to stay this weekend because next weekend is going to be busy with the game and then Lexi's party…"
Olivia shrugged, "it just feels… uncomfortable."
"Well, Dad, Noah and I are going to a game in the morning and then afterwards, I'm going to go to Gavin's garage and have a chat to him… I don't want this to drag out forever. I want my sister at Lexi's party and I want her to want to be there."
Olivia knew it was because of her that Trevor was in a fight with his sister and she definitely felt guilty for it. She had a plan of her own but wasn't really sure she wanted to say anything to Trevor.
She was emotional and tired and she really didn't want the fight to drag on either. She understood that it wouldnt have mattered if it were her or any other woman, Raia would have felt the same level of sadness and frustration, but it didn't stop it from hurting. She had to put herself in the right headspace and had planned on turning up to Raia's house the next day for a conversation - a peace offering. She wanted to take Lexi and a couple of coffees and maybe some bagels and cake, something to let her know she wasn't playing the victim nor was she wanting to keep Trevor to herself and away from her after all that had happened.
"Okay…" she replied quietly. He kissed her temple. "I love you and I really hate that you feel like this here, you never felt like this before and it really pisses me off."
Olivia shrugged. "Don't worry about it," she replied.
Trevor felt a little frustrated with her. It was clear that she didn't want to be there and it made him feel irritated. "Can you at least pretend to be happy to be here? My parents were really excited to see us and the kids."
She glared at him, "Are you kidding me?," she hissed, "I told you I didn't think it was a good idea to come here this weekend, I wanted you to sort things out with Raia first. What's going to happen tomorrow afternoon when your parents try to suggest that they come over? Do you think it's healthy for the kids to potentially see fireworks between everyone? You ignored how I felt. I know your sister hates me and I don't think it's personal, but it doesn't make me feel great."
Trevor took a deep breath and got up, heading through to the kitchen and out the back door where Georgie and Patrick were sitting around the pool with Noah and Lexi, watching the kids swim.
He was irritated but he somewhat understood why Olivia felt the way that she did; it was his hope that as soon as they arrived she'd realise that his parents didn't feel any different about her or Noah.
"Where's Olivia, sweetheart?" Georgie asked.
"She's just inside…" his voice trailed off quietly, not wanting Noah to hear. He sat down beside his Mom.
"Is everything okay? I sensed a little tension when you both arrived."
Trevor looked over his shoulder - his father was sitting on the edge of the pool just in case he needed to jump in - but Noah was responsible. Lexi was sitting in her little ring float as Noah wooshed her around the water— she splashed away, squealing with happiness.
"I'm just frustrated — she's so caught up about my argument with Raia and she is so sad about the things that Raia insinuated and she's so frightened that it's going to make you and Dad start thinking that her accusations were correct."
"I am still clueless about what she said, honey, your Dad didn't want to share it."
"She inferred that Olivia was trapping me — she asked if I was ready for everything or if I had been pushed in to it all by Olivia and said it was weird that Noah calls me Dad and it just infuriated me, she thinks I'm an idiot, she thinks that I have no ability stand up for myself or make my own life choices…"
Georgie rose an eyebrow and looked annoyed. "I thought Noah and you decided-"
"Noah made a few comments about seeing me as a father figure before Lexi came along — even that first weekend we came here, when I helped him with that gift for his friend, Kaci, we sat in the car and he cried and I told him that I understood I wasn't his Dad, but I would always be there in a parental way and that he could lean on me and ask things of me always…"
"Ah," Georgie smiled, "So little Noah trapped you."
Trevor was glad that his Mom was able to joke about it — because that's what Raia's accusations were, a joke. He cracked a smile. "I guess he did, and what do you know? It worked…"
"You got bamboozled by a 14 year old, I always thought I brought my son up smarter than that…"
They both laughed.
"Trevor, you know why she's acting like this — Olivia isn't Raia. She misses her and she didn't really get the chance to grieve and I think this has made it completely real for her because you don't need taking care of anymore."
"Truthfully," Trevor began, "she never took care of me, Mom, maybe in the beginning when all that stuff happened and I was out of my mind, she involved herself in my grief, but she used my inability to move on as an excuse not to face her own issues and she loves to tell everyone who she nursed me back to health but really when I moved back to New York and went back to work, I barely heard from her… it was work and my students that really filled me back up again. I'm Raia's excuse and now she doesn't have one…"
"I know it's easy for me to say, but approach her with grace, Trev, you just acknowledged she's hurting and I don't love to remind you, but you did hurt a lot of people when you went through your grief too."
He knew that was fair. "Point taken," he murmured. "I did intend on going to chat to Gavin tomorrow afternoon, I might be better to go straight to Raia and try to let her just get everything off her chest… but I can't have her attacking Liv, it's nothing to do with her. She's had enough pain in her lifetime and for someone as kind and as warm and as compassionate as she is, she doesn't need this extra thing to make her second guess everyone's thoughts and feelings toward her."
"That's a good point too, honey. Maybe I'll go and have a chat to Liv, do you think that would be okay?"
"Can't hurt. She's upset with me because she was scared of coming her and said she feels very awkward and I know she has no reason to feel that way. The problem is with Raia not you or Dad."
"Certainly not…"
"I know you and Dad felt a certain way about Lana, that was never lost on me-"
"Trevor you always say this and it's a little hurtful," his Mom reached for his hand, "it wasn't to do with Lana as a person, but the only issue we took with her is that she could be very inconsiderate of you and what you wanted. You loved teaching those elementary students and she wanted you to earn more, so you took the high-school job," she pointed out, "and then she wanted you to apply for Principal and you told me that's not what you wanted… she tried to get you to go back to medicine and tried to tell us that we should support you when we just weren't in the position with your Dad going on disability…"
"I know and it was so embarrassing… you're right that it's not what I wanted. I hated studying medicine. I also didn't want to be the principal - that was too far removed from my students…"
"She just wanted you to succeed in a way that she deemed successful — both of your ideas of success were different and it didn't make her a bad person, it just made her the kind of person that's always looking for more - I don't say that to bad mouth her, sweetheart, it's just what it was."
"I know… and Raia has this idea of me and of who I am, she thinks I'm a push over because she knows me through the eyes of Lana. I just wanted to make Lana happy, sometimes at the cost of my own happiness… so maybe I appeared to Raia as a pushover, but you grow and you learn and you realise love shouldn't be someone wanting you to be something you don't want to be, they should accept you and be happy with you as you are."
"Exactly," Georgie smiled, reaching for both of her son's hands. "And if Olivia understands and wants you to come as you are and together you build this family together — slow or fast, we are all in with you guys as long as you are both happy and support one another. I've never wanted your father to be anything but who he is."
"That's why you are both happily married," Trevor remarked. His mother kissed his hands and smiled. "Marriage and partnerships are always going to have their trials, honey, but as long as you're 75% happy and 25% work, then it's okay, the good has to just always outweigh the bad."
He nodded. "So I can be a dick 25 percent of the time?," he asked with a smile.
Georgie let go of his hands and gave him a very soft smack on the cheek. They both laughed.
"You stay out here with your Dad and the kids, I'll go and put together a little snack plate and see if I can get Olivia outside with us all."
"Okay, thanks Mom."
/
Olivia wiped her eyes when she heard the back screen door clatter shut. She was over-tired, over-emotional and her friends were on Trevor's side, careful not to invalidate her concerns, but quick to assure her that Trevor's parents would have no reason to feel any ill-feelings toward her.
She heard some bustling around in the kitchen and felt herself slowly relax. She figured it was Trevor or his Dad.
She looked back down at her phone, Sorry guys, I don't mean to be such a downer, I think my hormones are catching up with me today… I just hate the idea of someone being mad at me or … thinking bad things about me. It makes me start second guessing myself, like… maybe without realising, I did kind of trap him?
A few minutes later Tara responded.
"Liv, please stop. Trevor knows his parents better than you… nobody would ever have an unkind word to say about you and you never have to apologise to us. You've done nothing to deserve any of this and you certainly have not trapped him — I witnessed that man with you the other week and let me tell you, the look on his face when he saw you, the way he stared at you, smiled at you, touched you — I've never ever experienced that and I sincerely hope that I'm lucky enough to, because it was something else. You have not trapped him. This is coming from a woman who has been trapped, trust me. We love you so much, its okay to be emotional but it is not okay to second guess yourself. We are here for you!"
Olivia wiped more tears away from the kindness of her friend's message.
Thank you… sincerely. That did help. I just need to calm down, take a deep breath and stop being a downer. Love you guys.
"Olivia?" Georgie called, sticking her head in to the family room. She nearly jumped as if she'd been caught doing the wrong thing. She quickly wiped her eyes. "Olivia, what's wrong?" She wiped her hands on a dish towel and tossed it on the dining table and made her way slowly in to the family room.
"Nothing, I'm okay," she plastered on a smile.
"You're crying, it's definitely something, sweet heart, talk to me, its okay…" she sat down beside her. "I hate that you're upset…"
Olivia wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "Honestly," she told her mother-in-law to be, "its okay, I'm fine. I'm just very tired and feeling hormonal."
Georgie cocked her head, "are you sure? It's not lost on me that you have barely said a word since you arrived, I wondered if you and Trevor were in the middle of a fight."
"We're not fighting," Olivia replied, "its just me, maybe I'm not being fair—I just…" she paused, she didn't know how to approach it. She finally shook her head, "I can't, it's too sensitive of a subject, I'll be okay Georgie, I promise."
She felt the comforting hand of Trevor's Mom upon her own. "It's about Raia, huh? All the silly things she said here that you overheard a few weeks back?"
Olivia said nothing, she just wiped her eyes with her free hand.
"We know none of that is true, Liv, please believe me. Raia is upset because she lost her bestfriend and Trevor has been an excuse for her not to grieve and now that he's happy she has to face up to it…"
"I know that, I really do… I just wanted so much to be liked by her, it matters to me what you all think."
"I think that Raia likes you very much, Olivia and maybe that's why she's so upset, she probably feels like she's betraying her friend… so she's looking for things to be mad at but let me tell you this; we, Patty and I, we love you and we are so, so happy that you make Trevor so happy. We couldn't be happier to have Noah and Lexi in our lives— they both bring us so much joy and happiness and finally Patrick has a grandson that he's always wanted, he always talked about taking his grandkids to ball games or the football — doing the boy stuff with…"
Olivia managed a laugh, "Noah loves all that too," she murmured, "he truly thinks he's struck gold with Trevor and Patrick and I've never seen my son so happy."
Georgie smiled. "Nobody thinks anything Raia said has any merit, probably not even Raia and you have absolutely no reason to feel sad about being here. We want you guys here, we always get so excited to see you and Trevor and the kids and soon we'll have another reason to celebrate."
"I hope Raia is able to set aside her frustrations to celebrate Lexi's birthday because I know that is worrying Trevor and I'm not sure he'll get past that."
Georgie smiled, "that's for them to worry about, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. You're an innocent casualty, Olivia. Come here, you look like you need a mama hug."
She stifled a sob as Georgie pulled her in for a warm cuddle and every time she did, it took Olivia everything she had not to just break down from the maternal love she felt within her embrace. It was everything that she never had before.
"Honey its alright to be upset, that must have been really awful to overhear and I'm so sorry you had to witness it."
"Thanks…" Liv murmured, slowly pulling away.
"We're not going to let this ruin the weekend though, okay?," she told Liv, smoothing her hair. "I just made a snack board in the kitchen and I prepared some mocktails because Trevor told me that that's your thing at the moment since you can't drink."
"Oh, you really are the best, Georgie…" she managed a smile.
"Liv, honey, you're really warm, why don't you go and get your bathing suit on and go for a dip in the water and we'll all have some afternoon snacks around the pool."
If she was honest, a swim sounded good.
"Okay…"
Georgie smiled at her. "I hope it's not out of turn, Liv, but I know you don't have your own Mom anymore and I'm so sorry about that-"
"Oh, its okay," Liv replied quickly.
"I know but… I'll always be here for you - everyone needs their Mom at some point— you can always come to me and it will stay between us, I promise. Even if it's just a Mommy hug that you need."
Olivia's eyes nearly spilled over again. "Thanks Georgie… that means a lot to me."
"You're welcome, sweetheart. Why don't you get changed, I'll wait for you in the kitchen. The kids have some sunscreen out there, but I've made them put hats on, the sun is very hot."
/
Olivia had a loose dress over the top of her bikini and found Trevor sitting at the outdoor table under an umbrella watching the children and his father playing in the water. He had a hold of Lexi while Noah swam around like a fish, diving under and swimming the length of the in-ground pool, every now and then, splashing Trevor.
Trevor seemed surprised to see her with his Mom right in front of her. Liv placed a pitcher of mojito on the table and put a towel down on a free chair.
"There's another plate inside, darling," Georgie told Trevor, "would you please go and get it?"
"Of course…" he smiled. He greeted Olivia quietly. She gave him a weak smile. He got up and went back inside to grab some glasses, knowing Olivia liked her drinks very cold. He filled it with ice from the ice machine on the freezer and and grabbed the other plate of hard cheeses and some pickles and stuffed baby peppers that he loved so much since he was a kid.
He balanced two cans of beer beneath his arm for himself and his father. It was the perfect day for it.
He placed the wooden platter down on the table and set down the two empty drinking glasses, "here you go, for your mock-tails," he told his Mom and Liv, "and a beer for Dad and I…"
He leaned over and kissed the top of Olivia's head and poured both he and his mother a drink.
"Thanks…" Liv replied watching his Mom pour a bag of potato chips in to a bowl knowing that both Lexi and Noah loved chips. "My kids are going to be out of that water and in to that chip bowl faster than lightening, especially Lexi, we've gotta have eyes in the back of our head at the moment."
"She likes anything anyone else is eating," Olivia added, "she will happily take the food out of our mouths if we'd let her."
Georgie laughed. "I know you guys like her to eat super healthy, but surely some potato chips won't hurt? I let you have them when you were little."
"Its probably why I had so many dental issues," Trevor joked. "No, it'll be okay, a handful will be fine, a Lexi handful too, not a Noah handful…"
Olivia took a big gulp of her drink - Georgie hadn't been wrong when she told her that the sun had a lot of heat to it.
As if he could hear her thoughts, Patrick called out to Trevor. "Son, I might get your help, I think we might put up the sun sail," began to move toward the steps to get out of the water, passing Lexi to Noah to hold on to her float. "I don't really want the kids directly in that afternoon sun."
His father had fashioned a rolling sail that could be tied over the top of the pool that protected it for the direct sunlight. Trevor jumped up and made his way to the end of the pool, "Good thinking… I always forget its there."
Olivia smiled as she watched the two men cover more than half of the length of the huge pool with the shade cloth. "Aww I liked the sun," Noah complained.
"Yeah but the sun likes your fair skin a little too much kiddo, we can't have you and your little sister getting sunburned. Mom will never let you guys swim again." Patrick remarked.
"Grandpa's right," Liv smiled at her son. "If you both get sunburned, that's it for the pool. You need to keep sun safe."
"Okay," Noah agreed, knowing Olivia wasn't to be messed with.
"Look at Lexi," Trevor remarked, plopping a chip in to his mouth. They all laughed as she was watching them eat, holding out an arm opening and shutting her hand, showing them that she wanted to eat something.
"You want to have a snack, baby?" Olivia called to her.
"Mmm Yummy for me!," she babbled, sometimes Liv and Trevor took a few minutes to process her broken down way of communicating. Noah pulled her over to the edge of the pool and let Trevor take her out. Olivia held her arms out for her daughter and pulled her in to her lap.
"Come on, sweet heart, Grandma put some yummies out for you."
Patrick handed Lexi her drink of water, pausing to unscrew the lid to place a cube of ice in it from one of the glasses Trevor had brought out full of ice. "Say thank you, Grandpa for my nice and cold drink!" Liv coached him.
Lexi looked up at her grandfather and smiled clapping her hands before reaching for it.
"Here you go my sweetheart," he passed her the cup and leaned over to kiss her cheek. He paused and kissed Olivia upon her crown too. "It's so good to see you guys back here again," he told them both before taking a seat beside his wife, "I'm always so glad to see you both and Noah and Lexi."
Olivia smiled at Trevor's father who was just an older, shorter version of his son. They both had a beautiful smile and those incredible Langan eyes. "It's nice to always feel so welcome," she replied, "I hope you both know you're always welcome anytime at our place."
Georgie nodded, "Well, we're going to be down next weekend, I was thinking maybe if you'd like, we could come on thursday and get some things done for you while you work?"
"Oh," Olivia smiled, "you don't have to do that, I was thinking Wednesday I could do some cleaning while Lexi naps and then Trevor is gonna try to get home as early as possible from training and help out, my friend Amanda said she'd come over too—"
"Oh, nonsense, Liv, I am so happy to come and help! Do you have Lexi's cake organised?"
"Not yet," she grimaced, "I figured I'd just go to a bakery and get something simple-"
"Uh-uh, no no, I can make the cake, I made all the girls cakes, didn't I?," she asked Trevor, "I get the girls to pick them out of the special kids cake book I've got and whatever one they like the best, I will make it and if it's not big enough, I can just do some cupcakes to supplement it."
"Are you sure, Mom?" Trevor asked.
"Of course I'm sure," she replied, waving her hand at him, "it's going to be a big weekend. Friday night is Noah's first game on the field and Saturday afternoon you've got the party, I would say you might need an extra set of hands." She glanced at Liv, "I don't want to overstep, but I'd love to make her cake if it'll help."
"Okay, sure, thank you, Georgie, we would love that, but if it turns out to be too much, then you just need to let us know."
"It won't be… I'll make the cake on Wednesday night and bring it up with us, you just need to let me know how many people that we are roughly expecting and I'll work the rest out."
"Thank you, that's so kind," Liv smiled. "I really hope that she loves her party," she sighed with a smile, "she won't know herself…"
"Did you tell Grandma and Grandpa about the gift I gave her?" Noah asked as he got himself out of the pool and grabbed a towel.
"Oh yeah," Trevor grinned, "Noah saved a little of his allowance and bought her this gorgeous little kitten plushy that he picked out with Kace…"
"It's Hello Kitty," Noah supplied. "Kaci's really in to it, it's cute." He looked at Trevor, who made a face, wiping water that dripped on him from Noah standing close. "So Noah got the plushy for her and she really didn't know how to deal with being given a gift. It was kind of sweet but also…"
"Also a little heartbreaking," Olivia supplied, "Noah considered that maybe she'd never been given anything directly to her before. Everything that's at home was there before she got there — all of her toys, she still doesn't entirely realise are hers, but when Noah gave her the toy she kept trying to give it back after she was done playing."
"Awww, little sweetie," Georgie smiled, "she won't know herself when she receives all of her birthday gifts."
"Please, Mom, Dad… don't go silly with gifts, we don't have the room for so much stuff."
"Listen, we can do what we like, we're grandma and grandpa," Patrick remarked making Olivia laugh.
"No, but seriously," Trevor said, "I don't want her to get overwhelmed. Just one thing that you think she'll adore…"
"Well actually, I have some ideas that I'll talk to you about later," he told Trevor. He turned his attention to Noah, "I just realised, kiddo, no one brought you a soda down from the kitchen, I'll go get you one, I have diet coke or sprite, what do you want?"
"Oh, its okay Grandpa," Noah smiled, "I'll dry off and can go and get a drink in a little bit, I'm okay for now."
"Here, come and take a seat…" he got up and grabbed a little seat from another deck table on the other side of the pool and made some space for Noah to sit between himself and Liv.
/
Olivia pulled up in the driveway at Raia's house with a small bag from a patisserie close to Trevor's parent's and two coffees. She felt a little nervous and was thankful that Georgie had encouraged her, helping her with her daughter's coffee order and favourite cake and offering to watch Lexi while she was out.
She felt her stomach swirling as she made her way up the driveway, knocking gently on the front door. It took a few moments before Liv heard footsteps getting closer. It was definitely Raia's voice. The door opened and she appeared in front of Olivia. "Oh…" she seemed surprised, stunned even. "Oh, sorry, come on in, Olivia…"
"Is now an okay time?" Liv asked.
"As good as any," Raia was able to smile. Olivia chose to take it as a good sign. As the door closed behind her, Olivia turned to Trevor's sister and handed her the coffee. "Here… I got you a coffee."
"Oh bless you…" she murmured quietly. "Thank you, Liv." She took a little sip and let her eyes fall shut for a second. She sighed. "Sorry, the house is a mess, I did a big shift last night."
"Do you need to sleep more? I could watch the girls for awhile…"
Raia smiled, "No, its okay, thanks though… come through, I'm sure the girls will want to say hello."
Olivia placed the patisserie bag on the dining table. "Sorry for kind of springing this visit on you—" she began. She looked up to see Chloe, still in pyjamas, happily coming to see the source of the visitor's voice.
"Hi sweetie," she greeted her, "how are you? It's so lovely to see you!"
"No, no… it's okay, I'm … I'm glad that you came, actually. Coffee aside," she managed to joke. "Sorry, I look a mess, it's embarrassing to still be in pyjamas this late."
"No, it's fine-" Olivia smiled, "these days if I'm not working I'm usually in my pyjamas on the couch or in bed with Lexi if she's sleepy."
"Oh, where is she? Is she with Trev?"
"No, Trevor and Noah and your Dad went to have breakfast and then to some football thing," she shrugged, "your Mom offered to take Lexi for a little while."
"Chlo, honey, can you go and have a little play so Mommy can talk to Auntie Liv?"
Chloe nodded and made her way in to the living room where she often played with her favourite blocks and dolls. Olivia's smile dispersed slowly before she turned back to Trevor's sister who definitely looked exhausted. "I hope you're not drinking too much coffee, Olivia, you know you should only have like one a day?"
"Yeah, I know… I don't have it every day, just on work days or when I'm struggling to stay awake… I'm still struggling with nausea a bit so it doesn't always go down well." She took a sip of it. "I brought some cake… your Mom told me you like chocolate cake and the woman at the patisserie said that it was a store favourite."
Raia smiled. "Thanks Liv, that was really nice of you after what a bitch I've been…"
Olivia shrugged, "I don't think you were being a bitch."
Raia laughed, "yes you did and it's okay."
"Nope, promise. I try really hard never to judge and if I'm honest, it was hard to hear what I did, but I guess if I put myself in your position, I kind of get it—I would have similar reservations if it was someone that I loved and cared about."
"It's not my business though, Trevor is happy and I guess I could see that by just how protective he is about you and the kids," she spoke slowly before pausing to take a long sip of the coffee.
"I'm sorry for speaking out of turn about Lana, Trevor has told me just how close you both were and I suppose that with him, we talk about her a lot when he needs to and I was a little too free in bringing her up in the same way with you."
For a moment Raia didn't say a word, steeling herself; she had been on edge for the past few months about her bestfriend, her brothers wife who had passed close to four years now. She didn't want to get emotional but sometimes the briefest mention of Lana made her tearful. She missed her and since she didn't have to worry so hard about Trevor, things were coming up that she hadn't dealt with before.
"Its okay," she spoke; it came out in more of a whisper until she cleared her throat. She took another mouthful of coffee and watched Olivia do the same. "Have you ever lost someone, Liv?"
Liv smiled ruefully and scratched above her brow. "My Mom… I never met my father, but if I can be honest with you, I'm the product of my Mom's college assault…. I found out I had a brother in my 20s and we got a little close and he suicided. My ex partner found out he had brain cancer and suicided," she laughed in spite of her loss, hearing it out loud, "And my last partner before Trevor… he was my work partner for a long time and he short a kid, it was a justified shooting, she stole an officer's gun and started shooting indiscriminately, but as you can imagine it messed him up and he was stood down… he was my bestfriend, my only family, and there was something between us that—" Liv shrugged, "I dunno, but anyway, he left… he moved to Italy. He just ghosted me. I had have never felt so heartbroken, betrayed and abandoned and I had no one… until Noah."
"That's a lot of loss, Olivia."
"I endure…" she smiled wryly taking another mouthful of coffee, lifting the lid off it. "But that guy… he came back, I forgave him and he was divorced with five kids that he was a shitty father to in all honesty— we got engaged and he promised me a child and would constantly dangle it at me when we fought.. it was just … toxic. He hated Noah, he called him names, was really hard on him and when I tried to break up, he promised it wasn't me, it wasn't Noah— it was stress, so of course I was dumb enough to give it another go…. And it was going really well. He was good with Noah, perfectly attentive and I thought things were going to work out, he had me get all these travel books so we could plan a European vacation together… and I got home from shift to a letter that he made my child give me, that basically said it was over. I called his boss, she said he'd handed in his papers anddddddd… he ghosted me again."
She paused, her eyes filling up with tears, "I don't know why I'm telling you this, Raia, this shouldn't be about me, this is about you and how insensitive I've maybe been."
"No… Olivia, its okay. How long ago was that?," she asked.
"Noah was 11 I think when he left, Trevor said he can vaguely remember Elliot picking him up from class. It wasn't ever supposed to work and it's fine, I'm glad it didn't but my best friend stopped talking to me for the whole time over it —Elliot got a little …" Olivia winced, "I can say it now because I can see it without the rose-coloured glasses; violent. Screaming, throwing stuff at me, at the wall, getting in my face — poor Noah used to hide in his closet or would wear big headphones to bed every night which he's only just stopped doing and I can wear that, I know that's all my fault."
"It sounds … abusive. Maybe it would have escalated."
"Maybe. I would still like to say that he would have never have hit me or Noah, but I don't know that anymore. We both had lifetimes of trauma and neither of us were good at communicating or up for heart-to-heart chats."
Raia gave her a smile, "You're communicating well now…"
Olivia smiled, looking in to her coffee cup. "I guess the Langan's bring it out of me… And also, I had to get a whole lot better at it for Noah's sake. After Elliot, I threw myself in to a lot of long hours at work because I didn't want my kid to know how heartbroken I was and we just both built up walls and only since your brother came along and started reaching out to my son, did our relationship start to rebuild…He was so angry with me and so mean which I deserved but I just didn't know what to do anymore."
"Please don't get me wrong, Olivia, I have never had a problem with you, I think Noah is a beautiful kid, Trevor was right when he first brought you up to us, you guys are the kindest, nicest, warmest people and I'm still stunned at how nice your child is, how he's not like any other know-it-all teen — but I think I just had this idea of how things would look as our kids grew up to together and I saw Lexi and Chloe playing so beautifully and I've just really struggled since."
"Its okay," Olivia replied, "I understand. You miss your friend and you wanted to be able to raise your kids together…"
"She never met my kids… she and Trevor were supposed to come over the night that she died. We were going to have dinner and I was going to tell her the news that I was pregnant with Chloe…"
Olivia's eyes glassed over. She blinked, letting a tear roll down her face. Raia felt warmth for her brother's girlfriend in the moment, "sorry," Liv whispered. "I just… can't imagine."
Raia sniffed and wiped her nose. "I didn't dare tell Trevor for months… until I couldn't hide it anymore. They'd been trying for kids too…"
"I didn't know that…" Olivia murmured.
"Lana was really disappointed each time she got her period."
"Well… I can certainly relate to that— with Elliot."
"Sounds like it was a blessing that you didn't have a baby with that psychopath."
Olivia nodded, "Yeah, it definitely was." She turned the conversation back to Raia, "I just want you to know that I know I will never replace your best friend and I would never ever want to erase any memories of her with Trevor, I want him to always talk about her, I'm comfortable with the fact that he was married and he lost someone so special and that he talks about her with both me and Noah… I want to extend that to you too, please don't think you can't tell me stuff about her… I'm here and I hope that we can have a relationship of our own."
Raia nodded slowly too, "Thank you Olivia. I really appreciate you coming here… I know Trevor is probably still pissed, but it means a lot that you came."
"I needed to see you for myself and maybe if you told me to go away or worse, then I would have known that this is about me, but I really hope it's not."
"No," Raia shook her head, "it wasn't about you and it was so unfair of me to even suggest it. When Trevor and I fight, I'm afraid to admit he really doesn't bring out the best in me, I feel regressed to a teen and my inner asshole, selfish teenage side comes out — I know its the same for him but he's always so calm and that pisses me off so much because I'm not."
"I get it," Olivia smiled, "I need a reaction from someone too, when I get met with someone's casualness to something that makes me emotional or angry."
"I do worry about him, it was just really hard for him immediately after Lana passed, I don't really want to speak out of turn but… it was rough for him."
"He told me a little about it… when we were taking care of Kaci, Noah's friend— being in the hospital with her knocked him around emotionally," Liv confided. "We took her to see her Mom who was slowly being brought of her coma and he bolted… when I got home that night he told me he wanted a night on his own which… I respected but it really set off my own traumas," she admitted, "I was scared he was looking for an out… but he went home, he took his dog with him and, he said he'd call before bed and he didn't… so I was ready for him to just… end things."
"Did he end up on a binge?," Raia asked, "I'm sorry Liv, I know how hard it is to deal with and especially with the way your ex just disappeared…"
"He did drink a lot, he tries to bury his pain beneath substance, I know that — but there is a very different Trevor who drinks for social and then the Trevor who ends up in a pit of despair and drinks til he is obliterated and at risk of making silly choices, I could see that a mile away so I understand why you worry."
She nodded, "I was so furious with him for the way he just… pretended he was okay until it was too late. I genuinely think he would have—" she couldn't say the words. Instead she drew in a deep breath. "I couldn't lose them both."
"I'm sorry Raia, I'm sure that wasn't what you needed to deal with right after losing a best friend."
She shook her head, "Nope. It wasn't and Trevor felt like my responsibility because Mom and Dad took him on face value, they didn't understand that their perfect son masked his feelings beneath that smile…"
Olivia believed that his parents did know but perhaps were also doing all that they thought that they could. "After he got out of hospital, did he go back to his apartment?"
"No, he came here to stay with Mom and Dad for — I think two months while they put his things in storage and helped him make the decision to sell the apartment. It was too much for him to go back to and in that 3 weeks or so that he went on a drug and alcohol bender, he really trashed a lot of the place in fits of grief and aggression… he probably doesn't remember because we got rid of the worst of it before we ever went back there, but…" she paused, "holes in walls, smashed glasses, blood from where he was walking through it— I can't even tell you, Liv, it was a horror show. I was fairly pregnant when I found him and I didn't need that stress…"
"Not when you were trying to get through your own loss too," Liv added.
"I don't blame him," Raia remarked, "I don't feel like I have any resentment but I do feel maybe… overprotective."
"I get it, I understand that entirely. You're just asking the questions and maybe they were entirely fair to ask because in hindsight I can see that Trevor and I have moved fast but I really need you to know that I have never ever pressured him in to anything."
"I know, Liv, and I'm so sorry for saying otherwise."
Olivia smiled and reached across the table to hold Trevor's sister's arm. "I decided to take Lexi and I thought Trevor may break up with me over it, but Noah needed a sister, I promised him a sister all those years back and she needed someone, the way she came to us was absolutely the same way Noah came to me and Noah and I talked about her at length… my son recently found out how he came to be and when I was on Lexi's case, it was almost the same and it wasn't lost on him… but I never wanted Trevor to feel like he had to be on board… if anything, I tried to push him out of it because I was almost sold that he'd leave me."
"You were willing to lose him?"
Olivia thought for a moment, "Well, I always have this feeling that he's going to leave me anyway and maybe it was a self-sabbotage moment, I didn't want that, but I figured that after everything that I'd put Noah through with Elliot, I owed it to him to put his needs and wants before my own this time, because I have a lot of guilt around the way he was treated during that relationship."
"And Trev was on board?"
Olivia smiled, "He basically told me to shut the fuck up and talk to him about it and we then discussed it with Noah and the three of us decided to meet her and see how it felt, then to temporarily foster and only if it felt right for the three of us, we would go ahead. I think that Trevor was the first of us to say that he wanted to go ahead with the adoption paperwork. I wanted to have the last say because I didn't want either of them to make a decision based on what I wanted…"
"Trevor told me that once Lexi began calling him Daddy, Noah asked if it was OK if maybe he called him Dad sometimes too," Raia told her.
"Yeah, I wasn't there for that conversation, apparently it came up twice before a decision was made, once while they were here and then after Lexi…I decided in this case that my son is 14 and knows what he wants, he's smart and emotionally perceptive enough to navigate that with Trevor and I chose to be okay with whatever was good for them."
"That's fair… well, I'm sorry if it felt like I was questioning your character because I genuinely didn't mean to."
"No, its okay, I just want it to be water under the bridge and I know I can never ever replace Lana, but I would love for us to be friends, we started off so strong," Olivia managed a smile.
Raia smiled too, "we did… I don't want Chloe or Sadie to miss out on their cousins."
"Actually, we are having a birthday party for Lexi this weekend and I really, really hope that you and Gavin and the girls can make it."
"Mom told me, she said that Trevor wanted us there and I wasn't sure but I did put in for the weekend off because if it all fell through, I could still use a good sleep."
"Oh good, you guys can stay in Trevor's apartment if you like — or you can stay in ours, it'd be squeezy but we could make it work."
Raia laughed, "I would never ever put that on you guys, my girls would ruin your apartment."
"Its already ruined since cyclone Lexi arrived," she laughed, "but I'm so glad you guys will come… Noah is actually playing his first game of football against another school on the friday night and we thought we would celebrate that on friday night so you guys are welcome to come on friday for the game."
"Oh wow, you must be really excited!," Raia remarked.
"I am but I have to work for the half day so I'll have to go meet everyone there which is a bit annoying, but my colleagues know that I can't miss it."
"We'll try to be there for the game too," she promised.
Olivia felt happy that things seemed to be back to normal as she finished off her coffee and was happy that her olive branch had been accepted.
/
"Liv, you know you didn't need to go and see Raia, that wasn't really your job…" Trevor told him after she'd relayed the day.
"No, it was your fight, but I was involved just by existing, so I wanted to smooth things out and you still need to go and talk to her, but I think things are okay now."
"Okay, well… thanks," he murmured, kissing her cheek.
"Mom, you should have seen Mario Wentworth with the ball today, he was the best!" Noah told her excitedly. Olivia had zero clue who Mario Wentworth was, but she smiled anyway.
"Sounds like you and Dad and Grandpa had a great day."
"We did," Noah smiled at Patrick, "I'm definitely all for Yale, Grandpa."
Patrick beamed proudly. "Come on kiddo, let's give Mom and Dad a second to talk and we'll go get those burgers and hot dogs ready for dinner." He turned to Trevor, "Kiddo, do you think maybe you might like to invite your sister over here tonight?"
Trevor glanced up and just nodded, feeling a little backed in to a corner, but it was better to get it over with.
"Sure," he replied. Patrick left them to it. He turned back to Olivia and sighed. She couldn't help but to laugh at him.
Trevor broke in to a grin and managed to laugh too. "Shut up, smarty, you're all smug because you went and made nice with my sister, who at this point, probably likes you more than me."
Olivia snickered and shrugged, "Probably…"
"I guess I'll go give her a call…"
"Okay and I'm gonna have a nap, could you keep an ear out for Lexi? She's with your Mom and your Mom insists on just being with her and that I just rest," she smiled.
"Mom loves spending time with the kids, Liv, don't worry, none of it is an obligation to her," Trevor insisted.
"Okay… but still keep an ear out for me?"
"Of course," he smiled. He leaned over and kissed her. "Prop yourself up here on the couch and watch your show and have a long afternoon nap."
Olivia smiled back. "Thanks, goodnight," she joked, receiving a kiss from him again.
/
"Liv, I actually made you a strawberry daiquiri mocktail," Raia held up a sealed jug and grinned at her sister-in-law. I'll just blend some ice pebbles through it for you."
Olivia grinned back at her, "Oooh, I really miss my little bit of alcohol," she sighed longingly.
"Hi Raia," Trevor greeted his sister, scooping Sadie from Gavin after greeting him.
"Hi honey," she replied, leaning forward and giving him a hug that he was surprised to receive. He expected there to be a little tension, but there wasn't so whatever feelings he was haboring still seemed to disperse. Her hug lingered for a few seconds longer than usual. "I'm really sorry," she murmured to him, sheepish.
"Its okay. I'm sorry too. Just… don't second guess my ability to make decisions, k?"
She nodded and gave him a smile. She turned to her daughter, "You missed big uncle Trev, didn't you?"
Sadie nodded shyly. Trevor grinned and kissed her forehead. "Of course she missed her favourite uncle," he chuckled.
They all headed out to the decking area outside where Noah and Patrick were busy with the grill. Noah was getting a lesson on how to light it safely and how to cook the burgers. Trevor knew Noah was just being polite, he knew how to do basic cooking; he had fried burgers on a pan before — perhaps it was slightly different on the grill, but all basic logic.
After greeting everyone and making sure Chloe and Sadie and Lexi were under watchful eyes, Olivia and Raia returned to the kitchen to start on the daiquiris that had been promised to her.
"So, I have a new development," Raia started, "as of this afternoon."
"Yeah? What is it?"
She seemed happier than she had been this morning. "Gav and I have been arguing for about a month or so about how tired we both are. I'm supposed to be doing part time but I'm pulling double shifts sometimes and it's really just wrecking me— the second I'm awake Gavin goes to work, I never get any rest with the two girls unless Mom or Dad take them…"
"Oh, I can completely understand that kind of exhaustion," Olivia commiserated. "And the more tired you are, the more you fight."
"Exactly," Raia agreed, pressing the ice machine button on the refrigerator and filling a high ball glass to the rim with ice. "So, I started talking about getting a nanny and he was so against the idea-"
Olivia made a face, she quickly wiped her expression, not wanting Raia to think she was judging. "Why not?"
"I don't know, he doesn't want someone else raising his kids, something stupid, but I pointed out that right now my parents do a lot of the raising cos I'm so fucking tired all the time and our relationship is suffering and it's really not fair on my parents. So I told him that its either hire a nanny or I am going to have to take a demotion and do a lot less hours…"
"It's not healthy for you to never get any sleep — trust me, I know. Plus, I can tell you first hand that Noah suffered. There were times he cried for me all day and all night and it's heartbreaking. My Nanny helped me with everything, she was and is still such a gem. She did the cooking sometimes, the laundry and cleaned up so that when I was home with Noah, I could spend quality time with him."
"That's what I want…" Raia told her. "So, Gavin got home today and he told me that he's been thinking about it and that maybe it is a good idea to get a nanny. The more exhausted I get, the harder things feel and the more emotional I am — that's why I guess I've been flattened by grief for Lana recently, because I know she would have tried to help or she would have told Gavin he was being a dick and bluntly told him that I was getting a nanny unless he wanted to work less hours."
Olivia smiled. "If I knew you and Gavin better, I would have fought for you to have a nanny."
Raia smiled. "Thanks Liv, I just feel better but I don't really know where to start… is that something you could help with?"
"Absolutely. I chose Michelle because she was young when she started but she had a lot of education behind her and she and Noah connected. And sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, it does feel a little… I don't know? Jealous? But the kids need someone they trust and love too."
"Yeah, you're right and I don't need a full time live-in nanny, just maybe a few days a week to help with stuff… she can't be super hot either, too many horror stories of husbands enjoying them a little too much."
Olivia laughed, "Well, I can find the number of the agency I used. Michelle is only going to be with us for the next three months because she's taking another job but she's pretty much like family now, so I also have to find someone new for when the baby gets here and I have to go back to work."
Raia poured the daiquiri mix in to both glasses she had prepared and went in to her parents cupboard and found some white rum. She gave her own drink a shot of it before staring for a moment and then deciding to put some extra in. "I really want to get trashed tonight," she said quietly, "I'm such a shit parent."
"You're not…" Olivia replied, "you're a good Mom, I already know that. Sometimes its nice to let loose; you're in good hands…"
Raia smiled, grateful for Trevor's partner for not thinking she was a complete asshole - for forgiving the stupid things that flew out of her mouth without thinking. "Thanks Liv…" she stirred up their drinks and pulled out a little mini blender from a cupboard beneath the counter. She poured Olivia's glass with the ice and the drink mix and put the lid on and blended it through until it was thick and icy.
"Oh that looks so great, I could almost be tempted to put my bikini on and sip it in the pool."
"Oh!" Raia exclaimed, "really? I would totally do that too."
Olivia grinned, "you got a date my friend."
"OK, hold that thought, let's go get our swimwear on…" Raia suggested.
Olivia felt good about the bonding that was going on between them and decided to go with it.
/
"What are they doing?" Patrick asked Trevor and Gavin, nodding to his daughter and Olivia who were laughing loudly at something that none of them were privy to. Trevor smiled, watching them both carry drinks and a little plate of snacks that Georgie gave them.
"Oh, Raia was raving on about wanting to do some drinking with Olivia and letting her hair down."
"She knows Olivia can't drink right?" Trevor asked with a laugh.
"Yep, but that's why she made all those virgin cocktails," Gavin laughed as he watched his wife jump straight in to the pool. "She's nuts. She feels a lot better since she spoke to Olivia and I don't know what Liv said, but when I got home from work she was bright and happy and she's been down in the dumps for the past few weeks and really worried after the fight you guys had."
"Well, I don't want to dwell on it," Trevor said, "but I think she was angry and said things she didn't really mean because she was upset about something else."
"Lana," Gavin nodded as Noah joined them.
"Yeah, Lana," Trevor agreed, pulling Noah close to him, putting an arm around him. "But its okay, she's allowed to be upset about her, we all are, its sad sometimes, but I think talking about it can help, right kiddo?" Trevor glanced at Noah who was growing taller by the day.
"Right," Noah agreed, "its always sad to lose someone special, but its good to remember them too."
Gavin smiled at Noah, "you're right, that's a good way to look at it, Noah."
"Grandpa, do you need me to get the meat yet?," he wondered.
"No, not yet kiddo, I might wait since Mom and Auntie Raia jumped in the pool." Noah glanced over and laughed. "Well, I'm gonna help Grandma bring the girls outside here to play, I'll be back."
Patrick and Trevor had formed a little fenced off area for the kids to play happily in without making use of the entire, giant yard and Olivia and Noah referred jokingly to it as the baby jail which Trevor kept telling them off for, but he had to admit it was a little like a baby jail.
"You can bring Lexi here if you need to, I can hold on to her," Trevor replied.
"Nah, Grandma said they are playing really well so we'll put them in baby jail with some toys."
Gavin let out a peel of laughter as a grin spread over Noah's face.
"Noah! Stop calling it that!" Trevor admonished him but Noah snickered.
"Its kind of like jail…" Gavin agreed continuing to laugh, causing laughter from Patrick as well.
Noah continued his way back to the house to help Georgie with the girls.
/
"Oh, look… that's nice, Noah and your Mom are putting the girls in the little baby jail," Liv remarked.
Shocked, Raia cracked up, "Fuck, it is baby jail," she took a big mouthful of her liberal-poured alcoholic daiquiri. "I'm not mad about it, some days I wish they could take care of themselves," she admitted.
"I know that feeling, I remember when Noah was a baby, if I had someone to have taken him off my hands for three minutes so I could catch a nap, I would have happily done that…"
"Yeah, I miss having naps," Raia replied. "When I get a nanny, I am going to take a nap again. Just a nice afternoon nap on a day off, what would that be like…"
"Heaven," Olivia agreed. "I forgot how nice it was too. Trevor's really good though, he comes home and takes Lexi and he and Noah make dinner and let me have an hour or two to shower and lay down and just … do nothing but stare at the TV instead of watching fucking baby singing shows."
"Ugh…" Raia remarked. "I'm jealous. Gavin gets home too late for me to have a nap. I usually have to organise dinner and have two little animals crawling around pulling stuff out of the cupboards while I try not to trip over them," she laughed. "But with a nanny…"
"You won't know yourself," Olivia remarked. "You'll be better rested and you'll be better at your job, a less cranky wife and maybe you and Gavin will be able to get some time alone, I've recently learned that that part of it is really important too."
"You're right. I can't really remember the last time we went on a date…"
"Oh. I never got around to thanking you and Gavin for that beautiful hotel you guys gave up for us."
Raia stared at her blankly, "what do you mean?"
"You know," she spoke slowly, "The Aman Hotel, someone gave Gavin some accomodation through work or something and you guys couldn't go, so you said we should use it."
Raia started to laugh. "My brother is such a dick."
"Why?," Olivia looked confused.
"Liv… no offence, but if we got offered a night in a fancy hotel in the city, I would be absolutely insisting Gavin and I use it. We wouldn't be giving it to you guys."
"So then what—"
"Trevor obviously paid for it-"
"No, but I know that it is really expensive."
"Yeah, but my brother loves you very much, clearly, and thinks you were worth spending the money on."
Olivia shut her mouth, thinking. She was a little speechless. She remembered when she had told him she would text his sister to thank her, he told her not to for a reason she couldn't remember. She looked up, "Trev?" She called out to her husband standing by the grill with his brother-in-law and father.
Trevor turned around and watched her beckon him.
"Oh dear, am I gonna get in trouble again?" Raia laughed uncomfortably.
"No, I just want to know… like it was really expensive, too expensive. He had to have had it paid for somewhere along the line, that place is like $3000 a night…"
Trevor let himself in the pool gate and made his way closer, making sure it was closed behind him. "Whats up?" What do you gals need?"
"Trevor remember when we stayed at the Aman?," Liv began. Trevor felt his stomach clench. He glanced at Raia who looked away.
"Yeah?"
"Why did you tell me that Raia and Gavin gave us the night there? I just thanked your sister and she knows nothing about it."
"Maybe Gavin didn't consult me…" Raia's voice trailed off.
Trevor sighed. "I paid. I didn't want you to freak out over the cost. I knew you'd be dwelling on it and it'd make you feel bad, so I made something up so you would relax and just … have a good time."
She pressed her lips together hard to keep from grinning at him. He felt relief when he could tell she wasn't angry. "Thank you," she told him, giving him a little smile. "That was a very decadent expense, but thank you."
A smile spread across his mouth. "You're welcome." He paused, "Am I okay to be dismissed?"
"Yes," she winked at him.
"Love you…" he called over his shoulder.
Olivia said nothing, processing that he had thought nothing of spending over 3k on one night alone with her. She could have cried, but she kept a lid on it and bit the inside of her lip. "Well…" Raia smirked.
"Mmmm I think he's crazy, that's far too much, but that's so incredibly generous."
"Trevor is like that, I'm sure you know he is very kind and wants to do the best for the important people in his life."
Olivia nodded and took a mouthful of her drink. "He's probably the best man I've ever met, the kindest, the calmest— even though as I said, sometimes he can be so calm when I'm mad that it pisses me off, I need that calm. I've never ever had calm, I'm used to confrontation or … fighting and weirdly enough, fighting and raised voices, it all triggers me and makes me panic, but I really don't know much else."
"Maybe that's why you chose not to be in another relationship after the other asshole."
"Probably. And even then, I was back and forth in my own head about things… always expecting him to change his mind and justifying it in my mind that it'll have been worth it to have known this quiet, calm, unconditional love…"
Raia looked at her kindly, feeling a warmth toward her. Olivia wasn't self-aware enough in the moment to realise that her joy had left her, her thoughts had darkened in to another pool of self-loathe.
"None of those things are your fault. You know that, I bet you tell survivors that all the time; they're products of what has happened in the past; recent past or otherwise. I can tell you Trevor isn't looking to run away and I don't think he ever will. But I do want to tell you that when kids come along — and I know you both have Lexi but, you dont have a newborn yet, things can change when you're both really tired…"
"Oh, I know…" Olivia replied, but she wasn't sure Trevor would ever lose his temper with her just because he was tired.
"And even if not, sometimes relationships can be volatile, even the best ones, there are sometimes going to be arguments that get loud and get mean, sometimes you want to say things you can't take back, trust me, I'm the queen of that."
Olivia smiled at her. "I know… I just really don't respond well to it. I'm sure I will blow up at Trevor. We've only ever had one big fight and it was me blowing up because he did something stupid when he was upset, but it was over as quick as it began."
"I think you're calm too," Raia remarked, "I think you're calm until pushed, that's the kind of vibe I get…"
"That's pretty astute, actually."
Olivia could see the girls playing in the baby jail as she and Noah enjoyed calling it. Lexi was doing her own thing with some blocks and Chloe was playing with her grandma who held Sadie in her lap.
"I feel bad, I should get out and look after my kid. Your parents don't let me do anything when I'm here. I feel so awkward about that," Liv confided.
"Mom loves it. She's the same with me when the girls are here. Honestly, she adores Lexi and Noah, she gives us updates all the time."
"Did she tell you about Noah?"
"Yeah… I hope that was okay."
Olivia shrugged. "Maybe just… don't say anything to him about it, I think he would feel a little embarrassed."
"No, of course not. She told me how upset he was when she was there with you guys, that he was so worked up and sad."
"Yeah, he was…" Olivia drew in a deep breath, "he was more upset than I've ever seen him, it scared me. I thought the worst had happened. I was so scared he was going to tell me that someone had hurt him— he internalised all that stupid alpha-male bullshit Elliot drummed in to him and made him push who he really is so deep down that he was ashamed."
"That guy sounds like a real pig. It would be nice if Noah could confront him now."
Olivia managed a laugh, "he told me he'd punch him in his bald face."
Raia laughed, "Good. I'd help. How dare you try to wreck a kid's spirit like that."
"Yeah… and you don't even know the half of it. I'm just very lucky that I have a lot of strong men in my life who I work with and who are like family. My friend's husband has always been the guy Noah talks things out with — plays catch with, does boy stuff with, but its not the same as having a Dad so he just feels so… I dunno, I can't explain it, he has just craved that man in his life for as far back as I can remember and Trevor is the first man who's ever reciprocated the relationship to the same degree as Noah's heart and I've never seen my kid happier about that."
"Trevor is going to make an incredible Dad again and again. And who knows Liv, maybe you'll have four kids — maybe five."
"Okay now you have to be drunk," Liv laughed. "Don't be crazy."
"How is your drink?" Raia asked.
"It'd be better if it had as much rum in it as yours does, that's for sure."
They both laughed.
"We should get out… I'm getting cold and I'm hungry."
"Yeah, I think Dad purposely put off cooking to wait for us," Raia smiled, "Anyway I need a refill."
Olivia dunked herself back under the water to wet her hair and then pushed herself up out of the water with great difficulty, careful of her belly.