Chapter 3
A Pattern for Life

It felt very strange being home for the summer. Harry and Ron had promised to write. Even though I wrote several letters to both of them, I only received one in return from Harry and none from Ron. Harry's letter was mostly a complaint about living at his Aunt and Uncle's. His cousin, Dudley, was a nightmare. He was spoiled beyond belief by his excessively doting parents. He even had two bedrooms, one strictly for housing his overflow of toys. Harry was relegated to living in a broom cupboard under the stairs.

Harry had to work like a slave doing his and what should be Dudley's chores in order to get a modicum of food and freedom while Dudley was allowed the unrestricted run of the house and neighborhood. It all made my complaints about not being able to tell my parents everything, and not being able to tell my friends anything, seem petty. Still, it made the energy and excitement inside of me feel like I had swallowed an entire hive of bees. But this was all just a week after we all returned home. What happened after that? Should I be worried? Don't I have enough to be worried about being muggle-born?

When Leaving Day finally arrived, I was waiting for Harry and Ron on the platform. I was going to give them both a piece of my mind—especially Ron. Harry could have complications because of his Aunt and Uncle. Ron had no reasons. But where were they? The train was due to leave in less than five minutes. We needed to get on board.

When the train left the station and they still were not there, my level of worry escalated dramatically. They were not just late, anymore. They were absent. I started walking through the train checking all of the cars except for the one reserved for prefects and a few others. I found Fred and George. They told me to stop being a worry wart and to go sit down. "Errrr. How can anyone act like those two? They make me just want to scream," I fumed to myself.

By the time I arrived at the school, I was a nervous, fuming wreck. It was almost impossible to pay attention to the sorting or to enjoy the feast. When they finally showed up, I started to berate them. However, the story of the entrance to 9 being blocked and the trip on the flying car slowed my ire. Their bumps and bruises also helped them, as did Ron's broken wand.

By the time Harry finished explaining that a random house elf had been stealing his mail all summer, I was ready to forgive him. Then, just as I was ready to give Ron a piece of my mind, a howler arrived. Molly's voice screamed at a withering Ron in front of the whole school before congratulating Ginny for joining Gryffindor. Nothing I could say after that would have held any impact.

The year seemed to start unfolding peacefully after the bumpy start. The largest issue was our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Gildroy Lockhart. He quickly became a heartthrob who had every girl in the school drooling over him, even me ever since I first saw him at a book signing in Flourish & Blott's, I am ashamed to say.

However, I quickly started seeing flaws in his teaching skills. His lesson with Cornish Pixies nearly destroyed the classroom and left Neville Longbottom hanging from a chandelier by his robe. Every bad thing seemed to happen to poor Neville. His lost toad, the tricks and pranks from Draco and others, his broken wrist, and now this. He is such a sweet boy but lacks any degree of confidence.
Halloween arrived. After dinner, I got myself ready and left the Gryffindor dormitories. I was walking slowly toward the stairs leading down to the dungeons. I was supposedly going to the Five-Hundredth Deathday Party of our house ghost Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington.

"I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go," I sighed as I walked down the hallway with a dead man over my shoulder. "Here I am, waiting for an invitation to arrive so I can go to a party where no one's still alive."

Just then, Ginny and her unusual friend, Luna Lovegood walked up to me. "Where are you going all dressed up?" asked Ginny.

"That's an unusual costume," remarked Luna in an almost matter-of-fact voice. "Who is the dead man?"

He's Daniel Elfman, Hufflepuff," I replied.

Then, in a move uncharacteristic of your basic dead person, Daniel turned his head and said, "I was struck by lightning, walkin' down the street. I was hit by something last night in my sleep."

"It's a dead man's party, who could ask for more?" I cut in, still hoping for my invitation to appear. "Everybody's comin', leave your body at the door."

"What?" said Ginny, sounding a little freaked out.

"You just leave your body and soul at the door."

"Don't run away, it's only me," said Daniel. "Only me."

"Oh myyyy," replied Luna. "I didn't recognize you."

Still, Ginny and Luna turned and hurried away. So, I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Walkin' with a dead man. Ooh-ooh, still waitin' for an invitation to arrive. I've got on my best robe and tie with a shiny silver dollar on either eye. Suddenly, I heard someone comin' my way. He says there's room for maybe just one more. My invitation, at last.

I followed him down into the dungeons past the Potions classroom and the Slytherin dorms. Finally, we arrived at the party hall. Daniel checked his body and soul so he could enter. I was allowed in untouched. A ghost orchestra was playing the musical saws on a stage backed with black curtains. All of the familiar castle ghosts, even Peeves, were there. The Headless Hunt ghosts were playing Head Hockey on horseback.

Suddenly, I saw Harry and Ron. Apparently, they had been invited. I ran over to join them, as well. This event was even stranger than I had envisioned it.

"This is weird," I said as I looked at Ron.

"Bloody disgusting is more like it," he replied.

The food, as it turned out, was revolting. It was enhanced so the ghosts could taste it. I felt nauseated just looking at it. The table offered large, rotten fish on handsome silver platters, cakes burned charcoal-black, maggoty haggis, mouldy cheese, and, in pride of place, an enormous grey cake in the shape of a tombstone. It had Nick's name and date of death written on it in tar-like frosting.
The three of us stayed for a while before excusing ourselves to attend to classwork.

That is when the first of a series of events occurred that would dominate the entire year. Harry, Ron, and I found Mr. Filch's cat petrified along with a warning on the wall written in blood saying "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened" and "Enemies of the Heir…beware!"

A crowd gathered and Mr. Filch accused us of doing it…which was total rubbish. Still, suspicion clung to us like a permanent sticking charm.

Just over a week later, Colin Creevey was found petrified. A general panic was starting to run through the school.

The tensions were high after the second petrification. I started arguing outside in the courtyard with that ass Draco Malfoy. Draco called me a 'filthy, little mudblood' in front of everyone. That's like calling a black person the N-word. I immediately started to tear up and tried to run away.

Instantly, Ron jumped in and shouted 'Eat slugs!' at Draco. It was one of Fred and George's favorite prank spells. However, his broken wand backfired and he was knocked backward. Seconds later, he started vomiting great big, slimy, disgusting slugs. We ended up in Hagrid's a sickly green-looking Ron vomiting slugs into a bucket for at least an hour. I wanted to hug and kiss him for defending me. But those slugs. "Ewwww!"

It was early November. We wanted to know more about Slytherin. I decided to try making a potion well above my skill level. It was going to take over a month to make. However, it is our best chance to find out what Draco and the other Slytherins knew.

While we were busy secretly making the potion in Moaning Myrtle's lavatory, Lockhart's formed a dueling club in early December to help students learn to defend themself. It quickly devolved into another travesty. Professor Snape outdueled him so easily that everyone laughed. He tried to recover by having students start dueling with each other. Ron's broken wand misfired and left Seamus Finnegan stunned and ashen-faced. I got into a physical altercation with a fat, Slytherin toad named Millicent Bullstrode. I was happy Harry rescued me. She really wanted to hurt me. I—I swear, someday, I am going to get back at her.

The worst part of the dueling club fiasco was Harry squaring off against Draco Malfoy. I have never liked Draco since our first meeting. He is such a spoiled, wormy, entitled, bully. I would love to punch him in the face.

Draco violated the rules by attacking Harry before the start of the duel. Draco was using malicious spells when they were only supposed to be disarming each other. It ended when Draco conjured a snake that tried to attack Justin Finch-Fletchley. Harry used, as I came to understand later, Parseltongue to stop the attack until Professor Snape vanished the snake. Of course, the whole school misunderstood everything. They all assumed Harry was the heir of Salazar Slytherin and responsible for the opening of The Chamber of Secrets and the petrifications of Mr. Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris on Halloween, and Colin Creevey a week later.

I was a little disappointed, almost mad, that Ron was not the one who saved me from Millicent that day. However, he had defended me earlier when he ended up vomiting slugs, so I forgave him.
The potion-making took a long time, but my crude attempt was finally ready on Christmas Day. During that time, Justin Finch-Fletchley and Nearly Headless Nick were both petrified. Professor Dumbledore was overheard saying he feared the school may need to be closed if the problem could not be solved. "They just can't close Hogwarts," I thought. "How will I be able to finish my studies? I need to learn to be a witch." I now realize that was a very self-centered concern. But at the time, it was frightening to my academic mind

The polyjuice was finally ready on Christmas Day. It was absolutely the most vile stuff that I had ever put in my mouth…even worse than my Aunt Ila's Perfection Salad, "OHMIGAWD!" my mind screamed. "I'm going to puke." However, along with considerable vomiting from all of us, it turned Ron and Harry into Crabbe and Goyle. I was not so fortunate. The hair I thought was from Millicent Bullstrode must have been from her cat. I was transformed into some kind of half-me half-cat person.

When they returned from our mission, I was hiding in a stall crying. "What happened to me? When will I turn back to normal? I am probably going to get expelled."

Moaning Myrtle told them where to find me. "Hermione," he said in response to my sobbing. I told him to go away. However, Harry opened the door. His expression was one of shock. Ron, on the other hand, decided to make fun of my tail. I wanted to curse him. But I was too busy crying.

"Look at her tail," Ron laughed. "Now she and her cat look like twins. I need to go hide Scabbers. He won't stand a chance against the two of them together."

Harry started to laugh but could see how I felt and managed to give me a sympathetic look. But Ron, I'll never forgive him. He continued on for some time. I still might get mad one day and give him a tail like the one Hagrid gave Dudley. At least they got me to the infirmary without anyone seeing us.

Once I was in the infirmary, Madame Pomfrey put me in an enclosure so no one could see me, except for the professors, Harry, and Ron. I am surprised that the whole school still did not find out the nature of my condition considering how gossipy Moaning Myrtle tends to be.

Thanks to Harry and Ron bringing me my assignments, I stayed up on my schoolwork. The only issue I had to deal with was the occasional wisecrack from Ron. He started saying things about me coughing up furballs. I finally said back to him, "Would you like to have another go at coughing up slugs?" Harry nearly fell over laughing. Ron was much nicer after that was settled.

Madame Pomfrey and the professors considered many theories as to how I was transformed. None of them had ever seen a human-animal polyjuice reaction. So, that possibility was never explored. If they had found us out. I imagine the detention would have been quite unpleasant.

I was in the hospital until the end of January recovering from the lingering effects of the polyjuice. I hardly heard any of the juicy news. Fortunately, not a lot was happening. It stayed relatively calm after that until Valentine's Day. That is the day Harry found Tom Riddle's diary.

After Harry found the diary and was shown the memory of Tom turning in Hagrid and Aragog for the murder of the student, we all thought Aragog was the monster. Things did not add up in my mind.
I spent a lot of time researching things. For some, unsettling reason, I was not convinced Hagrid was involved. I kept following clues. On 8 May, I was walking with Penelope Clearwater. I had finally found the evidence I needed in the library. I was one hundred percent convinced the real monster in the Chamber of Secrets was a basilisk. It all added up. It was right there on the page I took from the book.

As we walked, we could hear the monster moving. We were sure it was moving in the plumbing pipes. I made a note of it on the page. I read the fact that seeing its yellow eyes would kill me. To be safe, I was using my makeup mirror to peek around corners. Then, everything went black.

"Miss Granger. Miss Granger," I heard a voice in the distance calling out to me. "Miss Granger. Are you awake? Can you hear me?"

"Unnnnf, Iiiii, Yaff," I mumbled, my mouth and brain unable to form words as my eyes tried to focus. What was wrong with me? I wanted to scream but all that came out was "Nuuuullll,"

"Drink some more of this," said the voice as I felt a liquid being poured into my mouth. "Swallow it, Miss Granger. It will help."

I swallowed because it was almost impossible not to do it. Slowly, my eyes began to focus and the fuzzy blobs in front of me started turning into faces. I saw Madame Pomfrey, Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sprout, and Snape. Then I saw Ron. Harry was behind him.

"Huh—huh–-huh—Hi, Ron," I said, finally getting out my first coherent words. "What happened? I feel strange."

"Hey," he said. "You—"

"—You were petrified, Miss Granger," said Professor Dumbledore, taking over the situation. Madame Pomfrey has stewed Professor Sprout's mandrakes and made a potion to unpetrify you and the others…and quite successfully, I might add."

"I—I was petrified?"

"Yes, Miss Granger," said Professor McGonagall as she looked at me over her glasses. "You were petrified."

"All I remember was following a noise. I figured out the monster was a basilisk. It moves through the pipes. I was using a mirror to peek around corners in case it was coming. And then…uh—then—I don't know."

"You're lucky you only saw it in the mirror," said Dumbledore. "If you had simply looked around the corner you would have been killed."

"Ohhhhh," I squeaked out. "How long was I petrified?"

"Almost two months," said Dumbledore.

"Two months," I gasped.

"Yes. Almost two months," said Professor Snape. "You are des—per—ately behind on your classwork."

"Severus," snapped Professor McGonagall with a withering frown. "This is not the time. She probably feels quite bad enough already."

"Yes, Severus. Let's give her some time to recuperate," agreed Dumbledore in his calm but authoritative way. "Perhaps Miss Granger and the others will be ready to rejoin the rest of the students by dinnertime."

"What about the monster? What about the Chamber? We—" I started.

"—Relax, Miss Granger," said Dumbledore, raising his hand to cut me off. "Everything is fine. The monster has been killed and the Chamber resealed. I am certain Harry and Ron will fill you in on all of the details. It is a thrilling tale if I say so myself."

The walk into the dining hall later that day was akin to my first day at Hogwarts. I felt so filled with joy. The others were already in the hall when I walked in. I instantly saw the beaming smile on Ron's face. Then I saw Harry. I started running toward them ready to throw my arms around Ron, but Harry was in front of him and caught the brunt of my ecstatic joy. After a way bigger hug than was probably appropriate for the setting, I felt a bit embarrassed and could only manage a handshake with Ron. Why did I not hug him first?

Later, we spent a long time with Harry, Ron, and Ginny retelling the events I had missed. They were all heroes. Poor Harry and Ginny almost died in the Chamber. Ron dealt with his fear of spiders for me. Okay, Harry and he almost got eaten by Aragog's children in the process. But still, I was so proud of him Why can't I be that brave?

Meanwhile, Lockhart turned out to not only be a coward but also a fraud. An inquiry by the Ministry was launched to find and credit the wizards and witches he defrauded. Ultimately, he was committed to St. Mungo's in the same ward with Neville's parents. The prognosis for him recovering his memories was considered quite unlikely.

Just as we were about to call it a night, Ron looked at me and asked, "What was it like being petrified? Do you remember any of it? Did you know what was going on around you, or was everything just black?"

"Of course, it was black, just like it was for me in that chamber, snapped Ginny before Hermione could answer. "What kind of daft question is that, ya bloody git? You…"

"…Actually," I said, causing Ginny to do a double take and fall silent. "I do remember something. I was in this big, white room getting dressed. Penelope was there, and Parvati, you, and Lavender. Suddenly, I realized I was being helped with putting on a bridal gown. I was at my wedding. It was the most important day of my life and everything had to be perfect. I was a nervous wreck.

"I was making certain to have my elements…something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. You," I said as I looked at Ginny, "were putting a pair of very old garters on me that you said had belonged to your Mom's grandmother. Lavender was loaning me a pair of her beautiful, tortoiseshell hairclips. Penelope had gotten me a new, silk and whalebone corset. But where is my blue thing? I was looking at Parvati. I was getting panicky.

"Just then, your strange friend everyone calls Loony Lovegood came in. She had a beautiful pair of Ravenclaw blue socks that she said Padma had asked her to give to you. I wanted to hug her. She sat them down and I continued dressing. Suddenly, I wanted to put them on but they were gone. Where were they? I started crying as you tried to calm me down. Loony said she suspected Nargles had stolen them. What are Nargles?" I asked. "I've never heard of them." We continued looking everywhere for them while Loony told me about these little creatures who were terrible thieves.

"Did you find the socks?" asked Ron, wrapped up in the story.

"Yes," I said, looking down.

"Where the bloody hell were they?"

"I was already wearing them," I replied as the other started laughing hysterically.

"Loony said my head must be full of wrackspurts, whatever they are."

"Blimey," said Ron as he put his hand on my shoulder. "And you call me barmy."

"Bugger off, you gits. It's a dream. I can't control it."

"So who did you marry?" asked Ginny.

"I'm getting there, sorta," I said. "Once I finished getting dressed, all of you headed out to your places at the front of the church. My Dad came in. Instead of a tuxedo or dress robes, he was wearing his dentist outfit. I started to cry, but the organ music began and it was time for us to march up the aisle. I had to suck it up.

"We walked and walked and walked. We walked past everyone I ever knew. All of my childhood friends, my old neighbors, my old school teachers, everyone at Hogwarts. Even Draco and Pansy were there. Still, I wasn't getting any closer to the front. I could see my future husband, but I couldn't make out his face.

"Well, at least it's not Draco," chuckled Ron. "I was—"

"—Shuttit," snapped Ginny as she gave Ron an elbow in the side causing him to lurch.

"My father and I kept walking and walking. We still were no closer to the front. As I was passing Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall, they started calling to me. I looked at them and they kept calling my name. Then I woke up."

"You woke up just like that?" asked Ron. "You never got to see who your boyfriend was or get married?"

"No," I sniffed in a disappointed voice. "I didn't."

"What's the matter, Ron?" twinkled Ginny with a sly smile. "Were you hoping it was going to be you?"

"Put a sock in it, Gingersnap," snarled Ron using Ginny's most hated nickname. "As if—"

"Who knows," I said with a smirk. "I suppose I could do worse. I imagine he'd be better than Draco."

Ron fell quiet as Harry and Ginny roared. He did not have a response. He felt damned with faint praise, but still managed a small, quiet grin at the same time.