A/N Thank you to everybody for continuing to read this! And thank you in particular to those taking the time to comment and message, it really means a lot.
This is a bit of a mammoth of a chapter I'm afraid!
You've probably all worked out by now that I'm a massive rambler, and this part of the story has ended up really long!
I have had to split this episode into two parts I have really agonized about where to chapter break, and I feel a little unsure about my decision, so I really hope you don't hate it!
Please consider this Part One (of two).
Phoebe gave a violent shiver as she climbed out into the bracing cold of the balcony, and drew her woolen coat tightly about her chest.
She noted that Chandler's extreme agitation appeared to have rendered him temporarily immune to the chilly night air, and he rounded on her instantly, knowing that their time alone was limited, as Monica and Rachel could return at any minute.
"OK. So, first of all, what the hell were you doing snooping around my closet?"
"Rachel and I were looking for Monica's Christmas presents" she explained with an eye-roll and an indifferent toss of her hair "We do it every year."
Chandler's jaw dropped in disbelief before challenging her incredulously, "That's not OK! You can't just go through our things Phoebe ! We might have private stuff in there!"
Phoebe stifled a snigger as she recalled her findings "I know. I saw."
Chandler's eyes widened in outrage and his cheeks colored with embarrassment, unable to quite believe that she would admit to violating his privacy quite so blithely.
Still, he knew full well that any attempt to convince Phoebe to adhere to acceptable societal norms would ultimately prove pointless, so he moved briskly on with a shake of his head, keen to avoid any further talk of her incriminating discoveries.
"Second of all, I wasn't planning on proposing at Christmas" he informed her, his tone mildly lofty, before he began to expand "I really don't think Monica would appreciate me asking to marry her in front of her family, and I could definitely do without being heckled by Judy Geller when I'm down on one knee."
Phoebe gave a conciliatory nod.
Chandler's lips involuntarily curled into a crooked smile, and he paused before admitting shyly, "I'm going to propose to her on New Year's Eve"
Phoebe's eyes widened with delight as she threw her arms gleefully around his shoulders "That's so exciting!" she squealed "And Monica has no idea?"
"No. She thinks we're spending it having take-out and watching TV. She really didn't want to go out, because everywhere will be busy and she's feeling so tired now. So I've arranged for one of her favorite chefs to prepare us a meal that I can heat up at home, and I've bought rugs, lights, candles and blankets to decorate the roof, and make it all romantic, then I'll ask her to marry me, and then we can watch the New Year's fireworks together"
He eyed Phoebe nervously as he assessed her reaction to his plans.
"That sounds so perfect!" she assured him, grinning widely.
"Yeah?" he asked with an anxious smile "Do you think she'll like the ring?"
He had agonized over the decision of which ring to buy; finding it hard to find anything that he deemed sufficiently special for Monica; and he was pleased to be able to gain a second opinion, despite his displeasure at Phoebe's inappropriate prying.
"It's beautiful! Very "Monica". She's going to love it. I'm amazed you managed to pick that out all by yourself"
Chandler arched an eyebrow as he shrugged off her implied insult.
"I'm pretty nervous.. " he quietly confessed.
"Yeah. I can see why you'd be worried." Phoebe nodded with mock thoughtfulness, "I mean, everybody knows Monica hates the idea of marriage. And the fact that she's crazy about you, and will be giving birth to your baby in a few weeks won't help any. She'll probably say no."
She smirked as she blew onto her hands and rubbed them together furiously in an attempt to warm her icy fingers.
Chandler returned her sarcastic smile before telling her a little fearfully "I just don't want her to think I'm doing it out of obligation because of the baby, or to please her parents, or anything like that. That's really not why I want to marry her."
Phoebe regarded him gently, "She won't think that, Chandler. Nobody will. Anyone can see you guys are meant for each other. "
"Thanks Pheebs" he replied with a grateful smile.
They both turned around as they heard the soft chatter of Monica and Rachel, who had evidently returned from viewing Rachel's dress, and Phoebe began to make her way back into the glorious warmth of the apartment.
"What are you guys doing out there?" Monica asked "It's freezing!"
"I thought I saw a jet black pigeon" Phoebe quickly explained, ignoring the doubtful glance exchanged between her two girlfriends "But it may have just been a crow."
"Or a regular pigeon in the dark.." Chandler suggested with a wry smile as he began to emerge behind Phoebe.
"Did you pick out a dress?" he asked Rachel nonchalantly.
"Oh wait! Pigeon's back!" Phoebe suddenly turned and bundled him roughly back onto the balcony, shutting the window firmly behind them both as Monica and Rachel shook their heads in astonished amusement.
"What is Monica going to wear?" Phoebe asked Chandler in a frantic hiss.
"What?" he whispered back, glancing nervously through the window, relieved to see that Monica seemed entirely unconcerned by Phoebe's unfathomable behaviour and had flopped down onto the couch.
"She's 8 months pregnant and expecting a night of takeout and TV - she won't dress up!" Phoebe proffered.
"It doesn't matter what she's wearing." Chandler told her, looking confused, "She's beautiful whatever she wears".
"That's sweet, but Monica won't want to get engaged in her sweats or her pajamas!" Phoebe insisted, "She'll want to look nice. We'll have to come up with a plan."
"We?" Chandler asked doubtfully.
"Yes, "we"! I'm a part of this now whether you like it or not, Chandler Bing." Phoebe informed him definitively "And it sounds like you need me! You've already dropped the ball when it comes to clothing: Who knows what else you'll mess up?"
Chandler rolled his eyes "OK fine. We'll come up with a plan. But can we please go back inside now!" he begged through chattering teeth, as he finally gave in to the bitter December air.
Phoebe signaled to him with a conspiratorial thumbs up as she re-entered the room "Just a regular pigeon." she called to Monica and Rachel, by way of confirmation.
Chandler reminded himself to draw a deep and calming breath as he descended the stairs from the romantic nook he had just carefully curated in a secluded corner of the roof of their building.
When he had stood back to survey his handiwork he had felt overwhelmingly pleased with his creation, a smile of pride and optimism spreading across his face as he allowed himself to imagine leading Monica by the hand there later that evening to reveal their secret rooftop hideaway.
An array of plush cushions had been strewn across a luxuriant Moroccan rug, in what he hoped was an aesthetically-pleasing and decadent fashion; he had strung up festoon lights and strategically placed an miscellany of candle lanterns, ready to bathe the scene in soft fairy-tale luminosity.
He had also prepared a wicker hamper containing an assortment of cosy blankets to ward off the cold, for that perfect moment when he and Monica would settle, wrapped in eachother's arms, gazing up into the urban glow of the night sky, ready to watch the darkness shatter with the glitter of fireworks the moment midnight struck, heralding the dawn of the most pivotal New Year of their lives. The year their baby would be born.
As he approached their apartment he felt pleasantly energized by his nerves, but as an individual prone to displays of anxiety and agitation, it was never long before those fizzing jitters began to bleed into a feeling that bordered mania, so he was working hard to maintain even and tranquil composure.
He reassured himself firmly, that panic was unnecessary: Everything was going perfectly to plan.
He had already picked up the impressive three-course meal that had been lovingly created and packaged by Fabrice, an esteemed former colleague of Monica's, who now worked in a much lauded Manhattan restaurant.
Fabrice had helpfully provided him with explicit written instructions on how each dish should be heated, assembled, and presented before serving, and Chandler felt confident that it was all well within his capabilities.
Phoebe, true to her word, had embroiled herself seamlessly in Chandler's subterfuge and she was currently in charge of keeping Monica distracted and away from the apartment.
When he had reflected upon his conversation with his friend, Chandler had eventually come to agree that Monica would, in all likelihood, prefer to celebrate her engagement in clothes that made her feel attractive and glamorous, particularly as he knew that, in her weary and cumbersome eighth month of pregnancy she was struggling to feel either of those things.
After plotting with Phoebe, they had decided that the best way to ensure that Monica attired herself appropriately would be to make her believe that she and Chandler would be heading out for a small portion of the evening.
Chandler had told her that instead of the Chinese food they had originally planned to eat in front of the TV, he had managed to secure an early sitting at one of their favorite restaurants, assuring her that they would be back home long before the streets turned to chaos and in plenty of time to watch the New Year ball drop.
On the basis of this little white lie, Monica had been shopping yesterday, and had been convinced by Phoebe that she ought to treat herself to a new dress for the occasion.
Phoebe had then invited both Monica and Rachel to get ready for their respective New Year's celebrations at her apartment.
The final stage of the plot, was that Chandler would make a last minute phone call, feigning a headache that would ultimately prevent his restaurant date with Monica, and the girls would return their potentially disappointed friend home, ready for Chandler to sweep her off her feet.
He and Phoebe had been through the plan with a fine-toothed comb and as the evening approached, both felt confident that there was very little that could possibly go wrong.
"Oh my God, Monica! That dress is amazing!" enthused Rachel, looking almost teary, as her friend emerged from Phoebe's bedroom, magnificent in the long, figure hugging crimson dress that Phoebe had encouraged her to buy the day before.
"You look absolutely gorgeous! Like... a work of art" agreed Phoebe, similarly misty-eyed, feeling a rush of excitement as she imagined the perfect, life-changing evening that was about to unfold for Monica, completely unbeknownst to her.
Monica returned a wide, red-lipped smile, feeling suddenly glad that she had allowed herself to be swayed by Phoebe into such an extravagant purchase.
Despite a healthy and physically trouble-free pregnancy, the last couple of weeks had seen both her energy levels and her self-assurance take a huge nosedive.
The extra weight Monica was carrying around had left her feeling understandably tired and insufferably uncomfortable: Sleep was becoming ever more challenging as she struggled and strained to find an agreeable position to rest her substantial bump; and as well as experiencing miserably frequent bouts of heartburn, she was also suffering the indignity of having to haul her aching body to the bathroom multiple times throughout the night, as her baby cheerfully trampled upon her bladder.
Until recently she had loved her pregnant figure, and had reveled in feeling so radiantly special and womanly. But as her abdomen had continued to swell to what felt like impossibly large proportions, Monica felt increasingly lumbering and ungainly, and although she had not admitted it to a soul, her extra bulk had triggered some highly unpleasant flashbacks to her excruciating teenage years: A time in her life that had seen her face a constant battle with her fluctuating weight and resultant low self-esteem.
Her debilitating fatigue had only served to exacerbate the creeping fingers of self-disgust she was now fighting hard to protect herself from, as she constantly reminded herself that she ought to feel nothing but gratitude at the extraordinary and crucial task her body was performing in growing and nurturing their precious child, and trying to remember that the alarming changes to her physique were necessary, and by no means permanent.
As she absorbed her friends' compliments and smoothed out the soft and forgiving fabric of her dress, admiring how it accentuated her curvaceous form in a way that was entirely flattering, she felt a much needed surge of self-confidence and suddenly could not wait to feel Chandler's eyes upon her.
"Shall I curl your hair for you?" offered Phoebe, gesturing with the large-barrelled curling tong that she had just used to create soft waves in her own bright blonde locks.
Spending a companionable afternoon together, painting each other's nails and swapping make-up had felt like a real treat for the three women, particularly for Monica and Rachel, who were still coming to terms with their recent changes in living circumstances, and getting used to a lack of a female presence in their respective households, after co-habiting for so long.
Phoebe's deft fingers were busily twirling sections of Monica's ebony tresses around her curling iron when the phone rang.
Her green eyes leapt keenly towards the clock on the wall, knowing precisely who was on the line.
Rachel picked up the receiver and confirmed Phoebe's prediction "Oh hey Chandler. I'll just pass you over, Phoebe's just doing her hair".
Phoebe felt a shred of guilt when she felt Monica's shoulders begin to droop as Chandler delivered the crushing news of the pretend headache that had forced him to cancel their fake dinner reservation.
Rachel's brow furrowed in concern: She was sitting face-to-face with Monica, drinking in the abject disappointment on her friend's impeccably made-up face, but Phoebe inwardly consoled herself, knowing full well that Monica's eventual elation would more than make up for this temporary despondency.
"OK. No it doesn't matter, it's fine." Monica was telling her boyfriend weakly "There's some aspirin in the cupboard. I'll be home soon."
After ending the call she met Rachel's inquiring eyes and explained "Chandler has a really bad headache and has cancelled our dinner plans."
"Oh no! After you got all dressed up!" Rachel cried mournfully, mortified on her friend's behalf.
Monica gave a stoic shrug "Well it can't be helped. He said he's going to lie down for a little while, so hopefully he'll feel better later and we can watch Dick Clark. If I manage to stay awake for that long... "
"Why don't you come to Ross's party with us instead?" Phoebe suggested a little gingerly, attempting to cultivate a realistic response to Monica's predicament.
Monica sounded so dejected to be missing out on her early dinner date with Chandler, that Phoebe felt that she was taking a bit of a risk by asking the question, and hoped desperately that her friend would respond as she predicted she would.
Thankfully, Monica did not disappoint and shook her head with certainty "No. I'm not really in the party mood and I don't want to leave Chandler alone."
Phoebe breathed a sigh of relief and hugged Monica tight as she and Rachel got ready to leave, trying hard to mask her excitement that the next time she saw her friend she would be brimming with joy and newly-engaged.
Chandler felt his spine tingle with anticipation as he hung up the phone. Phoebe had just called him back to confirm that everything had gone to plan and Monica was making her way home, accompanied by Rachel.
The sadness he had detected in Monica's voice when he told her that their dinner plans would not be going ahead, had almost been enough to make him crack and tell the truth, but he could not wait to see her sapphire eyes light up with surprise when she arrived home to find him spruced up and headache free, the immaculately clean apartment aglow with candles, and the kitchen table decorated as tastefully as he was able, ready for him to impress her with Fabrice's delicious gourmet menu.
He had already assembled the poached salmon starter, following the chef's comprehensive instructions to the letter, and the oven was preheating ready for their main course.
After lighting the last of the candles, Chandler sat down at the table contemplatively.
As he cast his mind back to the beginning of the year, it felt almost surreal that so much could have changed in such a relatively short space of time.
Twelve months ago, the mere mention of marriage and babies would have sent a wave of terror to his very core, and if somebody had told him that by the end of the year he would be on the brink of proposing to the woman he now knew to be the love of his life, and preparing for the imminent arrival of his first son or daughter, he would never have guessed that the person with whom he would be embarking upon this incredible journey would be his beautiful best friend.
He had started dating his previous girlfriend, Kathy around Christmas last year, and whilst he had been duly smitten, he had certainly not had any genuine thoughts of committing to her permanently.
Perhaps he would have assumed that he might have met somebody entirely new; a woman sufficiently spectacular to inspire that unknowable thunderbolt moment that everybody seemed to chase; the "love at first sight" that he had read about in books and seen played out in countless movies.
But if he was being honest, Chandler had always doubted the existence of such a phenomenon, finding it impossible to believe that a love so rashly conceived could ever truly be trusted or depended upon.
In his own experience, on the rare occasions he had felt an immediate attraction that was intense enough to have come anywhere close to resembling that illusive bolt from the blue; as he had with Kathy; it had not taken long for him to realize that those feelings did not equate to real love.
On every such occasion, he eventually had to reconcile with the fact that his initial attraction had clouded his judgement, rendering him incapable of seeing this person for who she really was, seeing her instead as the woman he had hoped she might be.
With Monica it was different.
He knew her. Every last inch of her. And he saw her, accepted her, and loved her in all of her perfectly imperfect splendor.
Whilst the incendiary night in London that had altered the course of their relationship forever had certainly hit him like a thunderbolt; to the point that it had felt like it had changed his very DNA; Chandler found it impossible to define precisely how long he had loved Monica: There was no "moment" for that.
Their first meeting, as two socially-awkward teenagers, had felt inconsequential at the time, and had certainly not resembled anything close to "love at first sight"; but as circumstance had seen them spend increasing amounts of time together in the years that ensued, it had not taken long for a mutual fondness to develop, and Chandler suspected that his love for Monica pre-dated London by many years.
Not the same kind of love he felt for her now, of course, but love nonetheless.
He had loved her as his sarcastic, kind-hearted and witty friend: The person who had transformed his often lonely, sometimes empty younger life in the city, by providing him with the most supportive and nurturing home and chosen family he had ever known.
He had loved her when she became the exciting new lover, entering his hotel room and his heart like a whirlwind, introducing him to realms of uninhibited intimacy he had never before dreamed of.
He had even loved her throughout those excruciating months that had followed London; desperately, painfully, yearning from afar; when the two of them had very nearly torn themselves apart by attempting to protect their platonic bond with futile resistance to their new found connection.
He had loved her when she came to him wide-eyed and terrified, bearing news of the baby they had unknowingly created, and he loved her even more still, when she subsequently became his partner: the woman with whom he was excitedly planning a family and a future.
He could not wait to love her as the mother of his child; and he knew with absolute certainty that he would love many more manifestations of her beyond that.
Theirs was a love that was simultaneously breathtaking, electrifying, safe, warm, dependable.
And this is why Chandler found himself completely unafraid to commit to Monica: Their love was not static or brittle, and it had no beginning or end. It was a love that was pliable and forgiving; and Chandler knew it would bend and reshape and evolve to accommodate whatever the future threw at them.
As his ocean blue eyes moved to the slowly shifting hands of the clock, he smiled. He could not wait to see her.
The evening traffic was uncommonly heavy as revelers made their way to parties or bars, or sought to secure their spot close to the action on Times Square, all ready to welcome in the New Year. Even the usually quiet back streets hummed with activity as cars attempted to navigate their way around planned road closures by finding alternative routes down lesser known thoroughfares.
The reflection of headlights twinkled in Monica's somber blue eyes, as she rested her head against the car window and watched a verbal altercation between two drivers a few cars ahead of their stationary cab, with only the scantest interest.
Rachel stole a sad glance at her friend. She looked so incredibly beautiful as sat there: Her face framed by soft raven curls, the amber light from the street highlighting her sculpted cheekbones, and her defined ruby lips set in a thoughtful pout.
She had remained introspective since leaving Phoebe's place, and barely seemed to register the disgruntled shouts and honking of horns that filled the air.
Rachel knew that despite Monica's best attempts at stoicism, the cancellation of her dinner date had rendered her irrefutably dispirited.
She could not help but feel a little disgruntled with Chandler on her friend's behalf, wondering just how serious this headache of his could possibly be that he would see fit to let Monica down at the last minute like this.
"Are you OK?" she asked gently.
Monica turned towards her with a soft smile.
"Yeah" she assured "I'm being silly really, I mean, it was me who said I wanted to stay home in the first place..."
She let out a rueful sigh as she then admitted "I've been feeling so huge and unattractive these past couple of weeks, and I had so much fun shopping with Phoebe yesterday, and then getting all dressed up with you both today... It just felt nice. Plus, it's the first New Year's Eve Chandler and I will spend together as a couple... I guess I just started to really look forward to going out."
"It's not silly" Rachel told her sympathetically, reaching out a comforting hand to squeeze her friend's knee.
"Listen, why don't you come with me to this work party I'm headed to?" she suggested.
Monica began to shake her head as Rachel spoke, but she continued undeterred.
"Just for half an hour? You already said Chandler was going to lie down, he wasn't expecting you back for a particular time, he probably won't even notice you've gone! In fact, it'll do him good to have some peace and quiet for a while so his headache can clear. And you look so gorgeous Monica, it's such a shame not to show off that dress!"
Monica gave a doubtful sigh.
"Please?" begged Rachel "You'd be doing me a huge favor. Declan will definitely try to convince me to stay if I go alone, but if I have a pregnant lady with me that I need to take home, I will have a great excuse to leave. I can drop you back here in an hour and then I'll head straight to Ross's place"
Monica frowned dubiously "Oh I don't know Rach... And anyway, wasn't Declan the guy I turned down a date with? That sounds a little awkward.. "
"Oh he won't care about that, he's a nice guy and he's dating somebody else now!" Rachel dismissed her concerns with a flippant flap of her hand "Come on, we'll just stay for half an hour, I promise. And if you really hate it we'll leave right away. He has a great place... And there will be foodie people there... Remember I told you that he used to work for that magazine-"
"OK" Monica finally agreed, her eyes still betraying a little hesitation "But just for half an hour, so Chandler's headache has a chance to clear".
Rachel beamed triumphantly as she leaned forward to request a destination change and relay Declan's address to their driver.
"Rachel! So glad you could make it! Looking incredible as ever!" Declan greeted, his piercing blue eyes crinkling as he grinned at the two women who made their way into the buoyant hum of his tastefully decorated, high-ceilinged apartment.
"Hey Declan! I hope you don't mind, I brought my friend" Rachel told him mid-embrace "You remember Monica?"
"Of course!" Declan turned towards her with a charming pearly-white smile "You're the chef at Alessandro's right?"
His eyes widened as they raked over the ample swell of her midriff "Wow! Congratulations! I had no idea you were pregnant! " he gestured towards her bump "When are you due?"
"February" she replied cordially.
"Well done for making it out tonight, my sister's due in March and she's already constantly exhausted" he told her with a personable chuckle.
"Well, I can't stay for long" she told him, her eyes flitting towards Rachel as if to confirm her position.
"Let me get you both a drink. And Monica? I'd love to introduce you to my friend Amelia" he told her, placing an amicable hand against her elbow and encouraging her towards a group of people who were chatting animatedly as they leaned against a white lacquered kitchen island.
"She writes for Gourmand magazine and is looking for European-influenced restaurants for a feature she's working on, so I bet she'd love to speak with you about Alessandro's"
Rachel beamed fondly when Monica shot her a delighted smile as Declan ushered her away, a look of obvious excitement lighting up her previously disheartened face.
Chandler drummed his fingers restlessly against the counter top, his eyes shackled to the relentlessly ticking clock.
It had been an hour since Phoebe had called to tell him that Monica was on route, and whilst he had been calmly telling himself that they might have found cause to stop on the way; or that her return might have been delayed by traffic, or road closures; the reality was that she could probably have walked to and from Phoebe's apartment at least three times now, even with her hefty baby bump, and Chandler was beginning to feel more than a little concerned.
The romantic candles he had lit in anticipation of her arrival had long since been snuffed out, lest they burn down to stubs; and the heat emanating from the redundantly whirring oven served no function beyond inflaming his anxiety.
He had already ventured across the hall seeking news or advice, but there was no sign of Joey, and he felt a little unsure of how to proceed.
Eventually he picked up the phone to call Phoebe, who sounded surprised to hear his voice.
"What's going on? I was just about to head over to Ross's place?" she told him.
"Monica's still not here" he told her, swallowing hard.
"What? They left ages ago, how can she not be there?"
Phoebe's mildly uneasy response was enough to send Chandler over the edge.
"I don't know! What if something's happened? What if there's been an accident? Or if she's gone into labor?" his latent fears began to spill frantically from his lips.
"Look, calm down" Phoebe instructed, "There's probably a totally reasonable explanation. She was with Rachel, so I'm sure she's fine. Maybe she tagged along to Rachel's work thing? Or maybe they went to Ross's?"
"Why would she go to Rachel's work thing? Or to Ross's" he asked crossly.
"I don't know Chandler! I'm just guessing!" Phoebe snapped back before garnering a more sympathetic approach "Look, I'm headed over to Ross's now, so I'll see what I can find out"
"I'm coming too" Chandler told her decisively "I'll see you there."
"Chandler!" Phoebe was ready to protest that it would be far more sensible for him to remain at home, by the telephone, in case Monica or Rachel arrived, or attempted to make contact, but he had hung up before she could begin to object.
Monica grinned as she slipped Amelia's business card into her purse, rubbing her aching belly as her eyes scanned the room for an available seat.
The two women had been chatting about the New York restaurant scene for what must have been a good long while, as Monica could feel a twinge of uncomfortable pressure in her abdomen, which was her body's way of protesting that she had been standing up for too long.
Being pregnant was undoubtedly the most extraordinary experience of Monica's life, and carrying her baby had brought her untold levels of joy, so intense as to seem other-worldly; but it felt overwhelmingly all-encompassing at times.
Now that her pregnancy was so physically obvious, and her baby's arrival was in touching distance, she found that she seldom spoke, or even thought about anything else.
Having the opportunity to talk unhindered about her passion for food with a fellow professional, and having her opinions and expertise heard and valued, had felt like a real tonic: A positive reminder of her identity beyond her pregnancy, and a much-needed boost to her sense of self.
But despite having enjoyed herself, Monica was beginning to tire, the idea of curling up on the sofa with Chandler was becoming more appealing by the second, and she felt suddenly desperate to return home.
Her eyes widened with panic when they moved to the minimalist wall-clock that hung in Declan's kitchen, realizing that she had completely lost track of time, and she sought out her best friend immediately.
"Rachel!" Monica hissed anxiously as she placed a hand on her arm "It's past 9.00! I really need to go!"
"Oh yeah, I ought to get round to Ross's soon too" Rachel agreed unconcerned, "I'm just going to speak to my friend Andrea quickly, I haven't seen her yet-"
"No!" Monica objected, her eyes imploring, "Rachel, we need to leave now! Chandler will be wondering where I am! He said he was going to order takeout, so he's probably already mad at me for being so late!"
"Mad at you? Who cares? He's the one who stood you up at the last minute!" Rachel wagged a chastising finger at her friend "You're the one who should be mad! Make him wait!"
"He didn't stand me up! He had a headache!" Monica returned defensively.
"Oh please! A headache? Who stands somebody up for a headache? Honey, I know you love the guy, but he can be such a big baby at times" Rachel denounced with a scathing eye roll.
Monica scowled, but she knew that her friend was at least two glasses of wine down and could see little point in engaging with her Zinfandel-induced sass and belligerence.
"Rachel, I really need to leave" she repeated calmly but firmly.
"OK, come on." Rachel conceded "I'll just say goodbye to Declan."
It was past 9.30 when their cab finally pulled up on Bedford Street.
Monica winced as she acknowledged that Chandler was highly likely to have recovered from his headache by now, and she gave a remorseful sigh as she wearily climbed the stairs, predicting that she was about to be greeted with a sullen glare and some stone-cold Chinese food.
By the time she reached the apartment she was already practicing her most winsome smile that she had decided she could quickly upscale to full seduction, depending on the extent of Chandler's inevitably bad mood.
She felt immediately unsettled when she found the door to their apartment locked, and frowned as she rooted about in her purse to locate her key.
"Chandler?" she called his name tentatively as she flipped on the lights, knowing already that the apartment was empty.
Her eyes fell immediately upon the kitchen table, laid with attention and care, and adorned with flowers and candles. She flinched guiltily and her heart wrenched that despite his headache, he had clearly gone to some trouble to make their evening together feel special.
But then she spotted a hastily scribbled note on the counter.
"Gone to Ross's"
Her lips formed a pout as she regarded the abrupt message scrawled in Chandler's childlike script, before replacing it carefully.
She raked her fingers through her dark curls, surprised and a little aggrieved that Chandler had given up on her quite so readily.
She felt suddenly unsure of whether she should continue to feel guilty for her own absconsion and lateness; or whether her self-reproach should instead give way to anger, that Chandler had churlishly retaliated by abandoning her in favor of Ross's party.
But the choice was not really hers to make.
The tears that welled in her eyes and the involuntary tremble in her bottom lip soon informed her that she was predominantly just sad and bitterly disappointed, that an evening that had seemed so full of promise had somehow fallen so entirely flat.
She considered the possibility of making her way to Ross's place herself, in a bid to make amends and rescue their evening. Or perhaps calling and asking Chandler to return home. But she feared that any contact she attempted now might result in conflict, and her exhaustion levels were such that she had no capacity for that.
Instead, she swallowed hard and made her way to the bathroom, ready to scrub away the make up she had excitedly applied, discard the gown that had made her feel so fleetingly beautiful, before crawling defeated into her bed.
Chandler and Phoebe arrived at Ross's apartment within minutes of each other, neither wasting any time in accosting Ross and Joey, as they attempted to glean any possible information as to the whereabouts of Monica and Rachel.
"Rachel said she was going to call in to a party with some people from work. So if they're not here, they must be there." Phoebe concluded "It's the only explanation."
"It's not the only explanation Phoebe!" Chandler refuted worriedly "Anything could have happened! Why would Monica go to Rachel's work party? And where is this party anyway?"
"I don't know" Phoebe admitted "Rachel didn't say where it was, and she was definitely supposed to be dropping Monica home first."
"Oh, the party was at that Declan dude's place" Joey confirmed through a mouthful of pizza "But Rachel wasn't planning on staying for long, so I bet they'll be here soon."
"Oh yeah, Declan! The Patrick Swayze guy!" Phoebe recalled.
"Oh, oh! The Patrick Swayze guy? The one who asked out Monica? Said she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen? Well isn't that just perfect!" Chandler fumed frenetically.
Ross rolled his eyes "Oh come on Chandler, I'm pretty sure that huge baby of yours will do a perfectly good job of scaring him off."
"That's not the point! We don't even know for sure that's where she is, Ross! What if something has happened to her? Or to the baby? I think I should call the police."
"Dude will you calm down!" Joey told him forcefully, exchanging a look of exasperation with Ross "You can't call the NYPD on New Year's Eve to tell them your girlfriend has been out with her best friend for two hours! Even if she is with some hot dude."
"Pregnant girlfriend" Chandler corrected, looking a little embarrassed, but no less concerned.
"Come on, man. Have a beer and relax, they'll probably show up any minute" Ross reassured, but Chandler gave an angry shake of his head.
"Rachel!" Phoebe suddenly exclaimed as their friend strode unconcernedly through the door with a celebratory smile.
Chandler flew towards her, his stomach churning with anxiety when he saw that she had arrived alone. His eyes began to scan her orbit desperately, as if there was any possible way Rachel's petite body might be somehow concealing Monica's heavily pregnant form from his view.
"Where the hell have you been? Where's Monica?" he questioned her frantically.
"She's home!" Rachel told him with an offended frown, "A better question would be, what the hell are you doing here?"
"I'm here looking for you guys! I've been really worried!" Chandler accused "Why would you take off like that without telling me?"
Rachel shook her head in astonishment "Excuse me? I wasn't aware I was answerable to you Chandler. And for your information, I asked Monica to come along to Declan's party with me, because I felt bad that she'd gone to so much trouble, making herself look beautiful for a date with her boyfriend, only to have him cancel on her at the eleventh hour! How's the "headache", by the way?"
She placed her hand against his brow in faux concern, only for him to bat it away with a cross glare.
"Alright, pipe down you two!" Phoebe interrupted their bickering with instantly effective sternness.
She placed a grounding hand on Chandler's forearm.
"Monica's home, all alone. You should go." she told him with pointed prudence "You still have almost two hours until midnight."
Chandler turned to face Phoebe and nodded, his breath steadier as his anxiety began to mercifully taper now that he at least knew that Monica was home and safe.
Phoebe drew him into an encouraging hug, and whispered "Good luck!" against his ear.
"Happy New Year!" Rachel called after him sarcastically, shaking her head at his perceived rudeness and pulling a face as he hurried single-mindedly for the door.
When he found the apartment locked, dark and deathly quiet a fresh wave of panic began to engulf Chandler, but then he spotted Monica's purse discarded on the counter alongside her key, indicating that she had indeed returned home.
He strode purposefully for the bedroom, pausing at the doorway as he observed her sleeping form, his lungs finally expelling the breath he had not realized he had been holding, in a slow sigh of relief.
She was on top of the blankets, warmed instead by thick, brushed-cotton pajamas and surrounded by her usual array of strategically placed pillows that propped and supported various parts of her aching anatomy; her tousled hair fanned around her head like an ebony halo.
He glanced guiltily towards the long scarlet gown that had been hung with care on the door of her closet, wishing desperately that he had had the opportunity to see her wear it.
She suddenly stirred, seeming to sense his presence in the room.
"Hey" she greeted drowsily "What time is it?"
"Only around ten thirty" he told her, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.
She frowned, her eyelids still flickering between sleep and wakefulness "It's not midnight yet? I found your note. I thought you'd stay at Ross's for the countdown."
"I only went there to find out where you were" he explained, "Not to join the party. I was really worried when you didn't show up here earlier."
She shifted onto her back, her expression pained, as she opened her arms towards him in order to elicit an embrace. He crawled up the bed towards her and willingly complied.
"I'm so sorry" she murmured against his neck "Rachel asked me to go to a work party with her, it was only supposed to be for half an hour, while your headache cleared up. I didn't mean to worry you. I should have called. "
"No, I'm sorry." he told her, running his fingers gently through her hair, "I'm sorry for cancelling dinner at the last minute like that. Hey, have you even eaten?" he suddenly fretted.
"Yeah I ate a load of canapés at Declan's. They were really great actually, he used to work in food" she recalled
"Good old Patrick Swayze" he muttered with more than a hint of rather grumpy sarcasm, causing Monica to look into his face, eyebrows raised.
"Are we really going to do this?" she asked him wearily.
Chandler chuckled softly and brushed her lips with a gentle kiss.
"No" he whispered "I'm just glad you ate. And I hope you had a good time".
She let out a contented groan as she nestled her body closer to his and brought her languid fingers to his face to stroke his cheek.
"I would have had a better time with you. Is your headache all better?"
"Yeah" he quietly confirmed, "I'm guessing you don't want to get up to watch the fireworks?"
A tiny part of him was still clinging onto a final shred of hope that their evening was salvageable, and that he might yet tell her all of things he needed to tell her, and ask her the question he had been desperate to ask; but he could tell by the lethargic rhythm of her breath that she was still teetering on the brink of slumber, and in his heart he knew that the window of opportunity had well and truly passed.
She let out a quiet mewl of resistance in answer to his suggestion that she might consider leaving her bed.
"I'm so sleepy, baby" she managed to tell him, nuzzling against the solid comfort of his chest.
"That's OK" he assured her, gazing wistfully down at her face and watching lovingly as her lips parted dreamily and her features began to relax once again into unconsciousness.
Unsure of how tired he was himself, he briefly considered the possibility of extracting himself from her arms and kicking back in front of the TV to see in the New Year alone; but as he continued to enjoy their embrace, the effect of her warm body weighing down on his own and the sound of her soft and steady breath became entirely soporific, and he soon allowed his own eyes to drift closed.
He did not feel like he had been asleep for more than a few minutes before he was disturbed by the sounds of celebratory cheers erupting in distant corners of the building and out on the streets beyond; the crackling symphony of fireworks that lit up the skies signalling the transition from one year to the next.
He squeezed the sleepy form that lay peacefully in his arms and whispered "Happy New Year Mon."
Her eyes flew briefly open, momentarily startled by his voice, until her drowsy mind made sense of what was happening.
At this point, her face melted into a heavy-lidded smile "Happy New Year Chandler" she responded dreamily.
"I'm so sorry tonight didn't work out" he told her, a fresh surge of sadness rising in his chest.
"Hey, it's just one night" Monica consoled "Me and you have all the time in the world".
She tilted her chin so that she might bring her lips gently to his.
"And this is going to be the best year ever" she reminded him.
His plans for the evening may have gone farcically awry, but as lay here with her now, her soft lips sleepily caressing his own, their baby nestled safely between the two of them, Chandler suddenly found it hard to hold on to any lingering feelings of bitterness or disappointment.
Regardless of anything else, he knew that right here, right now; this was exactly where he was supposed to be.
A/N I know, I know, I'm so mean! Poor Chandler. But you know I'll make it up to him. And at least there was no Richard ;)
Part 2 will be up soon.