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This is a long one, as a thanks for all the reviews, favs and follows. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Draco's life had been quiet after the first task, which was rather unusual. He welcomed the peace, as he knew it would not last long. Somehow, it never did.
It was sometime early in December, when, after the first lesson of the day, he noticed a change in the atmosphere at the school. A kind of nervous excitement filled the halls. He couldn't quite put his finger on what had given him that impression, but he knew it was there. Maybe it was the girls, who seemed to be giggling more than usual, or the boys, who were looking rather somber, or the teachers, who all looked either amused or uncomfortable.
Draco only realized the reason for all of this in his second lesson of the day: Defense.
He sat down between Theo and Daphne, like he usually did. But then Pansy came along and shoved Daphne aside, forcing her to scoot down one chair, looking indignant. Pansy either did not notice or she did not care, as she asked, "This seat still free?" Without waiting for an answer she sat down next to Draco.
Draco didn't much mind Pansy, but she seemed awfully chatty that morning, which made Snape glare at them all through the lesson. Pansy babbled on about one thing or the other while Snape explained the topic of the day - hex-deflection - and continued to do so during the more practical part of the lesson, where she made sure that they were partnered up.
When Snape finally dismissed the Gryffindors - and only the Gryffindors - Draco finally realized what was going on.
"Attention," Snape snapped, stopping Pansy mid-sentence, "I have an announcement to make."
With a sinking feeling Draco remembered what was about to happen. Out of all the things to forget...
"The Yule Ball is approaching," Snape continued, seemingly uncomfortable with the topic of discussion. "A traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament and an opportunity for you to socialize with our foreign guests. Now, the ball will be open only to fourth years and above — although you may invite a younger student if you wish to do so."
Some of the girls began to giggle, earning them a glare from Snape.
"Dress robes will be worn," he continued, "and the ball will start at eight o'clock on Christmas Day, finishing at midnight in the Great Hall. Now then —" Professor Snape stared deliberately around the class. "The Yule Ball is of course a chance for you all to — er — enjoy yourselves," he said, in a disapproving voice. "But that does NOT mean," Professor Snape went on, "that we will be relaxing the standards of behavior we expect from Hogwarts students. I will be most seriously displeased if a Slytherin student embarrasses the school in any way." With that he dismissed his Slytherins.
Once he had left the classroom, panic overcame Draco. He would need a date for the ball. But he did not want to go with anyone but Astoria. But was Astoria even interested in him yet? She was still so young. And he was a grown up. Should he ask her? What if she said no? What if she said yes? What if he didn't ask her and someone else did? He wasn't sure whether he could stomach seeing her with someone else.
These thoughts followed him the rest of the week and the next, not unlike Pansy, who sat across from him during dinner the next Friday.
"Draco?"
"Yeah?" he asked absentmindedly and barely looking at her, his thoughts still centered around Astoria and the Yule Ball.
"Are you thinking about the Yule Ball?"
Draco blinked in surprise. Pansy wasn't usually this perceptive. "Yes."
Pansy grinned. "So, you're going?"
"I guess so," he shrugged. Even if he ended up without a date, the Yule Ball was a good reason not to go home over winter break. He was not sure whether his father had calmed down by now or not, but reading the Daily Prophet, a clear indicator of the increasing Death Eater activities, he knew that it was unlikely that they would survive the holidays without a major fight.
"Any ideas who you want to go with?" Pansy inquired.
"I have someone in mind," Draco said, looking over to the Ravenclaw table, where Astoria was talking with her sister.
Pansy followed his gaze, looking crestfallen. She inhaled sharply, fighting tears. "You are such an ass, Draco Malfoy," she hissed, throwing her pumpkin juice in his face and storming off.
And finally, Draco got why she had been acting so weird. She wanted him to ask her out. He was such an idiot. He should have realized sooner, but his mind had been occupied with other things.
Pansy's assumption that he would ask her out was not completely unfounded. He had, after all, asked her out the first time around and they had been kind of dating during their time in school. Not that Draco had been deeply in love with her. He was ashamed to admit it, but she had just been an safe and easy choice. He didn't have to make an effort to be with her. He didn't have to wonder whether she liked him or not or whether he said or did the right thing or not. He never had to fear rejection with her. In her eyes he could do no wrong. She adored the ground he was walking on, although he never knew whether it was because of his name and his family money or whether she really liked him. And even if she had rejected him, it would not have been as devastating as being rejected by someone he really cared about.
He was an idiot. Had been back then and, apparently, still was now.
Now everyone was staring at him and a few were laughing. Naturally.
He grabbed a napkin, cleaned his face in one swift motion, threw it back on the table and made to flee the Great Hall as well.
Unfortunately, he did not get very far.
"Draco, Draco, Draco," he heard one of the Weasley twins chuckle.
They were standing before the door, blocking Draco's only hope of escape.
"No luck with the ladies?"
"I'm sorry, guys. I'm really not in the mood for this right now."
"Ah, not another word," one of them said, holding his hand to his forehead. "Your little friend has rejected you?"
Draco blushed. "Not quite."
The twins looked at each other, wide eyed. "You have rejected her?" they asked in unison.
"I don't see how that's any of your business," Draco huffed.
"Why so cranky, little heart breaker? We only came here to offer you our guidance and advice. And to tell you that if you don't hurry, all the good ones will be gone."
"Advice?" Draco snorted. "As if you two have so much more experience than I do."
"You doubt us?" one of them said, mock-hurt.
"Do you have a date?"
"I'm going with Angelina," said one of them promptly, without a trace of embarrassment.
"What?" said Draco, taken aback. "You've already asked her?"
"Good point," said the twin. He turned his head and called across the Hall, "Oi! Angelina!"
Angelina, who had been chatting with Alicia Spinnet, looked over at him.
"What?" she called back.
"Want to come to the ball with me?"
Angelina gave him an appraising sort of look.
"All right, then," she said, and she turned back to Alicia and carried on chatting with a bit of a grin on her face.
"There you go," he said, satisfied, "piece of cake."
Draco stared at him with an open mouth, panic raising within him. Maybe they were right and he really needed to hurry up or he would end up alone. But he couldn't just call across the Hall like a Weasley. He was not a Gryffindor, after all.
"If you have someone you want to go with, just ask her. Worst case scenario, she says no and you don't go to the ball with her. But if you don't ask her, you won't go with her either, so you really only can win."
With that last piece of surprisingly sound advice, they left Draco to his own devices.
Draco spent the rest of the evening in the library. He really did not want to talk to anyone.
When he finally made an appearance in the common room, he had been bracing himself for an emotionally taxing encounter with Pansy, but nothing could have prepared him for what was actually awaiting him in the common room.
"STUPID BINT!" he heard someone shriek before he even sat foot in the common room.
There was screaming and yelling and once he got a closer look at the commotion, he saw that most students had gathered in the middle of the room, forming a circle, whooping and cheering.
A fight, Draco thought. And one apparently fought the muggle way with hands and feet. Maybe he should get Snape to end the fight? The prefects definitely did not look like they wanted to break it up. Or maybe they were just too cowardly to get in the middle of things.
He saw Crabbe and Goyle standing amongst the onlookers.
"Guys! What's going on here?"
"A fight," Goyle said, clearly amused.
"Obviously," Draco drawled, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "About what?"
"You," Crabbe laughed. "And they call me stupid."
Draco opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He pushed through the crowd to see who the two fighters were.
"Shit," he mumbled, when his eyes fell on Pansy and Daphne, rolling on the floor. Pansy had a tight grip on Daphne's hair and Daphne was yelling obscenities.
"What the hell?" he yelled, getting Daphne's attention.
"Draco," she squeaked, "help me!"
Draco, unsure of what to do, made a step back, but the crowd pushed him back into their middle.
"You man-stealing little-" Pansy shrieked, but was interrupted by a deep voice that had all the onlookers scurry away.
"What is the meaning of this?" he voice barked and Draco flinched. Snape had apparently caught wind of the commotion and came to investigate.
Pansy let go of Daphne's hair and Daphne crawled away from her, putting a save distance between them before she stood up.
Snape scrutinized all three of them. "My office. Now."
"But I didn't do anything!" Draco complained.
"That," Snape glared at him disapprovingly, "remains to be seen."
Draco groaned. Now he did not feel bad for upsetting Pansy earlier anymore. His guilt had made room for annoyance.
"Draco has been leading me on, sir," Pansy started once they were all seated in his office. "All the while going after Daphne," at the mention of her name she sneered.
"I did no such thing!" Draco defended himself. The allegation alone was outrageous. "And I don't want to go to the Ball with Daphne..."
Pansy squeaked.
"Nor with you, you annoying t-"
"Mr. Malfoy!" Snape interrupted him before he could say anything he would most likely regret.
"I'm sorry," Draco sighed. "But I am not interested in going to the Ball with either of you." He did not look at them, did not want to see the hurt in their faces.
"Professor," Daphne said, "I was just reading a book in the common room when Pansy suddenly attacked me! Draco wasn't even there."
Snape nodded. "This," he finally sighed, "I would have expected from the other houses. But Slytherin? Mr. Malfoy, you may leave."
Draco did not need to be told twice, leaving the office as fast as he could.
Back in the common room he tried to avoid the gazes of his house mates, but could hear them snicker everywhere he went.
"Rough day?" Theo asked him, trying and failing miserably at hiding his amusement.
Draco frowned. "One little ball and everyone's going crazy!"
Now Theo laughed openly.
"Oh, shut it," Draco growled, but did not really mean it. He could really need a friend right now. "Who're you going with?"
Theo stopped laughing. "I- uhm- I don't know. I thought maybe I should ask Astoria, since she's too young to go any other way..."
Draco coughed.
"Or maybe I'll ask Johanna. She's kind of cute," Theo continued.
"Uhm- you should totally ask Johanna. I think she has a thing for you."
"Really? You think?" Theo asked excitedly.
Draco had absolutely no idea, but bobbed his head anyways. Anything was better than having Theo go with Astoria.
"Wow, okay," Theo said. "But what if she thinks I'm too young for her?"
"Hasn't stopped Krum from asking Granger," Draco answered.
"Okay, then I'll ask her."
Draco let out a sigh of relief.
When Pansy, who looked like she had been crying, and Daphne returned, Draco asked the former whether he could talk to her.
"I just wanted to say that I am sor-"
"You don't have to apologize," Pansy interrupted Draco's apology. "I'm the one who's been acting like an idiot - unworthy of Slytherin, really - and I'm sorry for that."
"So, everything's alright between us?" Draco asked hesitantly.
Pansy smiled sweetly. "Everything's alright."
The next day was hardly any less eventful.
Right after breakfast, Daphne wanted to have a word with him.
"I'm sorry," Draco said before Daphne could get a word out. He did not feel like he had anything to be sorry for, but still. With women, one never knew.
"Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for," Daphne said, "it's not your fault Pansy's gone barmy."
Draco chuckled. "So what did you want to talk about?"
Daphne stared into the distance for a while. "Are you sure there is nothing between us?" she asked after a while.
"Uhm - no," Draco said, caught a little off guard. "I mean, yes. Yes, I'm sure there is nothing between us."
"Because we have spent a lot of time together lately. That's why Pansy thinks you have a crush on me."
"No. I like you, but just as a friend."
Daphne nodded her head. "Me too. Not that I'd mind if you did fancy me, but there are plenty of good looking fish in the sea," she said, grinning. But then she went serious again. "It's Tory, right?"
Draco inhaled sharply, looking at her in alarm.
"I've seen how you look at her sometimes. And that goofy grin of yours," she shook her head. "It would also explain why you spend so much time with us."
"I don't have a goofy grin," Draco said.
"Oh, you do. You can hardly say her name without grinning like an idiot."
"That's not true," Draco said. He wanted to prove her wrong, but thinking Astoria's name alone already made him smile. "Damn."
Daphne laughed. "Man, you got it bad."
"Is it that obvious?" he finally conceded to Daphne's point.
"If you know what to look for," she said, amused.
"And what do you think?"
"I think Astoria could do a lot worse. Just... be nice to her. Because if you hurt her, you'll have me to answer to."
Even though he had just been threatened, Draco smiled. He had her blessing.
At dinner the next day, Draco still wasn't sure about asking Astoria out. He ate some of his haggis, looking at Astoria while chewing. He missed being in a relationship with her, being able to tell her how much he loved her.
He sighed and turned his gaze to Pansy, who was sitting a safe distance away from him. Good for her, he thought, sneering. She had already caused enough trouble. But then again, she was quite good looking. So really, Draco should feel flattered that such a pretty girl had taken an interest in him.
Oh, and now she was looking his way and flashing him a smile. He could not help but smile back. Her smile was really beautiful. The most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
No, that wasn't right. Astoria's was. But Astoria was way too young for him and probably didn't even like him. Pansy was a far better choice.
When Pansy left the Great Hall, Draco followed her, leaving his half-eaten food behind.
He followed her all the way back to the common room. Almost everyone was at dinner, so the room was empty.
"I'm sorry I was so mean to you," he told her.
"Oh, Draco," Pansy giggled, "no problem. I've already forgotten all about it."
"You look really pretty in that light." And she really did. Perfection, with the exception of one stray lock falling into her face, which he now gently tucked behind her ear. "I should have asked you to go to the Ball with me. Do you still want to?"
"Yes," she smiled.
But he hardly heard her answer, too focused on her lips. Oh, her lips - they looked so soft and delicious. He remembered what a good kisser she had been. He missed those kisses.
Before he could think anything else, he had pressed his lips on hers and closed his eyes. This was pure bliss.
He didn't know how long they were making out - it could have been a few second or an eternity - but suddenly they were violently separated and his cheek stung.
"What the hell are you playing at?!"
An angry looking Daphne filled his vision. She must have slapped him.
That was wrong, he didn't want to see her. He only wanted to see Pansy. He turned his head back towards Pansy, wanting to kiss her again, but Daphne yanked him away from her.
"Hey!" he complained.
"I was talking to you, Mister!" She growled.
"But I don't want to talk to you. I want back to Pansy. My beautiful Pansy. I think... I think I'm in love."
"That must be a joke, right? You're joking?" Daphne asked, confused.
Draco made his way back to where Pansy was standing, barely hearing what Daphne was saying.
But Daphne intervened again. She grabbed him and didn't let go off him.
"Hey," scoffed Pansy, "how about you get yourself your own boyfriend, ugly? This one's already taken!"
Daphne stared at them with an open mouth, blinking a couple of times. Then her face soured and she grabbed Draco by the hair.
"Your coming with me," she said, leaving no room for argument as she pulled him along with her.
"Where are we going? I want to stay with my Pansy!" Draco complained.
"Yeah- uhm- you know, Pansy will follow us shortly, she said you should go ahead."
"Okay," Draco answered. Wherever they were going, if Pansy was going to be there it couldn't be so bad.
She dragged him all the way to Snape's office, knocking at his door.
Snape opened the door, looking at them. "What now?" He said, sounding annoyed.
"Something's wrong with Draco," Daphne said.
"There's nothing wrong with me!" Draco looked around Snape. Pansy wasn't anywhere in the office and she hadn't been following them either. "Where's Pansy? You said she was going to be here. Let me go, I want to spend my time with her and not you, you liar. I love her so much. I miss her."
"See," Daphne said. "And his eyes look all wrong, too."
"I see," Snape said, examining Draco more closely. "And you suspect a love potion, I presume?"
"Hey! My love for her is real!" How dare he insult their love like that. He knew what real love felt like.
"Of course, of course," Snape agreed. "Draco," he addressed him directly, "since when have you been in love with Pansy?"
"Uhm..." Why was that important? "Dinner? Have you ever noticed how gorgeous her eyes are?"
"I can't say that I have," grumbled Snape, looking uncomfortable, examining Draco more closely. Then he turned towards his potion cabinet.
The whole thing was starting to get annoying. "Pansy isn't here. I'm going back to the common room."
"Just another minute," muttered Snape. Then he held a small crystal flask in his hand.
"Here," he gave it to Draco. "It's against bad breath."
Not a bad idea. At least someone supported his romantic endeavors. "Thanks, Professor," he said, downing the content of the vial in one.
After a few seconds, he growled, "shit."
"Language," chided Snape.
"Oh damn," Draco groaned, "I'm so sorry, Daphne. I really am an idiot."
"You can say that again," she muttered. "But that wasn't your fault."
"Still, I kissed her," he made a grimace. When Pansy had apologized for being an unworthy Slytherin she apparently had only apologized for the approach to the problem.
"There's no accounting for taste, I guess. Just... don't do it again, alright? Very nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"I promise," he smiled at her. "And thank you, Professor."
"You are welcome," answered Snape. "Looks like I'll have to have another word with Ms Parkinson," he sighed.
Back in the dorm, Draco did not even talk to Pansy, he was too mad. He'd definitely stay as far away as possible from now on.
"So," Neville started in their weekly study session after Draco had cast Muffliato, "you're going to ask Astoria to the Ball?"
Another day had passed since the incident with Pansy and the Ball was less than a week away.
Draco sighed. "I don't know. All of this is so... overwhelming."
"What's stopping you?"
"For one, I'm scared she'll reject me. And... I'm so much older than her." There, that was what had been really bothering him and which he could not discuss with anyone but Neville.
"Two whole years below us. But she's only one year younger than you, right? That's not too bad."
She was. Draco was one of the youngest in his year and Astoria one of the oldest in hers.
"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. I'm in my fourties and she's still a child. It's... wrong."
"Are you sure, though?" Neville asked, looking amused.
"Sure about what?"
"The whole age thing," Neville leaned back. "I mean, you are 14 in everything but knowledge and experience."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco was not sure whether he was supposed to feel offended or not.
"Well," Neville grinned, "I think there is more to age than how long your consciousness has been roaming this planet."
Draco just stared at him.
"I don't think a real grown up would have such an easy time being friends with so many kids," Neville continued. "We should bore you to tears with our petty little problems, really, but we don't. I never feel like I'm talking to an adult when I'm talking to you. Grown ups also don't eat like they're a human trash can. They aren't as moody and prone to temper tantrums. They don't get into prank wars with other studens," at that, Neville chuckled. Draco and the Weasley twins had been in a real pranking war lately, one which was quickly escalating, and just two weeks ago, Draco had put a portrait of Sir Cadogan over the one of the Fat Lady with a permanent stickig charm, leaving the Gryffindors homeless and annoyed for a whole day. "And they certainly don't use their time throwing paper planes at other students during lessons."
"That was Theo's idea," Draco blushed. He hadn't know Neville had noticed. Weasley had deserved it, though.
"And I doubt the real grown up you would find teenagers even the least bit attractive..."
"I didn't. I found people my age attractive. But now they just look... old."
Neville laughed again. "And there is no doubt that you've got it hard for Astoria. The way you look at her and talk to her... Sounds weird, but I think you have a crush on your wife. You might think you're an adult, but you know... If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. And you look, act and sound like a teenager."
Draco felt infinitely lighter, listening to Neville's point of view. He had never questioned whether he really still counted as grown up. Maybe there was more to age than just how long you've lived. Maybe the body and hormones were more important in that aspect than experience. And he had been acting more emotion-driven than before he had come back.
"Thanks, Nev, that really helped."
"Anytime," he smiled.
"And who are you going with?"
Neville blushed. "D-Daphne."
Draco whistled. "Not bad. I'm impressed you asked her out."
Neville looked uncomfortable. "I haven't."
"What?" Draco laughed, "she asked you? Wow, good for you."
Neville smiled, but then frowned. "It shouldn't be such a big thing, considering we'll be at war within a year. But somehow it still is."
"Those things will always be huge. And the war... I feel it makes things more important, rather than less."
Neville nodded his head. "Maybe."
They were both quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.
"How'd you and Astoria originally get together?" Neville finally asked.
Draco looked into the distance, ordering his thoughts.
"I was in a pretty dark place after the end of the war - not because of the outcome," Draco hastily added, "but because society didn't take kindly to those with the Mark. And I was struggling with everything that had happened, with what I did. I had lost people and seen people die. And I was facing a trial. And I felt so freaking lonely."
Draco sighed and Neville gave him a sympathetic smile. "But what about your friends?"
Draco smiled a sad smile. "Never really had any."
"What about Crabbe and Goyle?"
Draco shook his head. "Two lunks who wouldn't know one end of a broom from another... The one thing I always envied Potter and his entourage for - friendship."
Neville nodded his head in understanding.
"Loneliness is a dangerous thing. It drags you down into a very dark place. The Dark Lord was a lonely boy and you know where that led."
"And that's why you joined the Dark L- oh man, I'm spending too much time with you, aren't I?"
Draco chuckled.
"So that was why you became a Death Eater?"
Draco considered this for a few seconds. "It was one factor, but not the only one. The way my parents brought me up didn't help much. But you're right. His followers aren't happy people. Only when you suffer yourself do you want others to suffer."
"But you're happy now, right?" Neville inquired.
"Yeah," he smiled at Neville. It was true. He had friends now and a future to look forward to.
"Anyways," Draco returned to the original topic of their discussion, "I sometimes met up with the remaining Slytherins after the war - even if we weren't close, we understood each other in a way few others could - and through Daphne I got to know Astoria," he smiled. "We talked a lot and, well, she saw good in me when I couldn't. She was my light in these dark times... she gave me a reason to go on. She wasn't just my wife - she was my savior and my best friend."
Neville smiled too. "Sounds brilliant."
"Yeah," Draco agreed.
Later that day, he saw Astoria walking to the Great Hall and decided to ask her before his courage left him again.
"Hi."
"Hi, Draco," she smiled at him.
"Uhm- I was wondering..." Why was this so difficult? "Would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?"
First she smiled, but then her face fell. Not the reaction he had been hoping for.
"If you're just asking me so I can go to the Ball too-"
"No," Draco quickly interrupted her. "That's not it at all. I- uhm- I really like you, you know."
For a second she looked shocked, but then she smiled a brilliant, radiant smile. "Then I'd be honored to go to the Ball with you."
TBC
Story suggestions:
1. The White Pawn by Soupy George - a (complete and well written) story about a time traveling Draco (Draco/Harry is hinted at, but nothing ever happens between them)
2. Obscura Nox Animae by Heatherlly – A (Snily) story in which Lily survives but the story stays canon-compliant till the Battle of Hogwarts. I usually don't like Lily-survives stories, but this one is really good.