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1-28-2186
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"Hey Joker." Garrus came from behind the pilot and placed both his hands on the headrest.
"Hey. What's up?" The pilot glimpsed at the turian and went back to monitoring his controls.
"Just wanted to talk."
"About what?"
"Cerberus." Garrus said simply.
They both gave the blue orb next to them a suspicious glance.
"Yes. They eat babies. Jacob has established that several times." Joker rolled his eyes, "So what's exactly on your mind?"
Garrus sat down in the co-pilot's chair. "Why'd you join? Why'd Chakwas join?"
"She signed up because of me. They showed her and I what they were doing to Shepard. Seeing that—" Joker's eyes glossed over, "I couldn't exactly say no."
"How long ago was that?"
"Pff. Maybe almost a year and a half ago. He looked like a mummy."
"Wow. How observant of you." Garrus said sarcastically.
"Look, I was there too, okay? We got fucked good back on Ullipses." Joker leaned in as close as he could to Garrus and frowned, "I still get nightmares from that shit."
"Same." Garrus whispered.
"I still think about it every. day."
"I do too."
Joker was quick to reply. "But. Shepard's back. We just have to convince him it's worth being here."
"That we do. Jacob and Miranda have been cooking up a plan with my help. But I think it's going to fail."
"How so?"
"They want to try and go to the flotilla." Garrus said with a steelwalled look before finally facing Joker, "And pick him up using me as leverage."
"Mm." Joker sniffed, "Pick him up with a giant glowing Cerberus logo as my tail number. Tali would be the first to pull a trigger if a gun were aiming at us."
Garrus sighed. "I'm trying to convince them to remove it."
Joker turned to EDI. "Hey, EDI. Whose bright idea was it to put that on the ship?"
"The SR2's conceptualization team. The Illusive Man hand-picked the design." EDI replied.
"Think we can just—I don't know, put a tarp over it in the meantime?"
"Tell me that was joke, Joker." Garrus' mandibles split to imitate his best smile.
"That was the shittiest pun ever."
"Next time we dry dock, we're buffing it out. Cerberus can't expect us to get much done if we're flying their flag at every hub we happen to chance by."
"I think they kept it on there to put them under a better light. Make 'em look like the good-guys for once." Joker offered.
"Too late for that."
"Was it testing the thorian on people? Or was it the rachni? Hard to know which one crossed the line."
Garrus let out a dry grunt.
"How's the new guy doing?" Joker asked.
"Mordin? He's doing great. Talks faster than light."
"Don't most salarians?"
"No. This guy really kicks it up a notch."
"And the other new guy?"
"Zaeed is…" Garrus paused, "interesting."
"What about your whole team?"
"They're settling in just fine. We all share one of the rooms down in engineering." Garrus answered.
"You guys ready for the pick-up?"
"Subject Zero? No. I think we should leave him there. I've read the report. He's a spirits-be-damned psycho."
"Yeah. But TIM is a pretty good judge of character. He picked you. Picked me." He looked at the turian again. "Have you actually talked to TIM yet?"
"Yeah, I talked to The Illusive Man just this morning. Very charismatic." Garrus took a breath. "How long until we get there?"
"Four hours."
"You know what our next dossier is after this one? It's picking up a krogan warlord."
"A Wrex lookalike, perhaps?"
"No. Look up the name 'Okeer' sometime." Garrus said, "And Wrex was a battlemaster. Not a warlord."
"Okay? Should I be worried?"
"Very."
Joker grumbled.
"How's EDI treating you?" Garrus wondered. He looked at the glowing orb.
"She's breathing down my neck." Joker would be lying if he didn't want to give the AI the bird, "How's the crew been around you?"
"Keep to themselves mostly. They're polite and know what they're doing."
"They were also handpicked by The Illusive Man." EDI interjected.
Joker rolled his eyes. It wasn't a surprise EDI was doing a little self-promoting. It was more than likely wired to propagate Cerberus PSYOPS whenever it could. Garrus was probably under the same impression.
If Garrus noticed, he didn't show it.
"He picked them well." Garrus said and got up, "I'll be in the forward battery. I'll message you when I start making power fluctuations. The main gun needs calibrating."
"Okay. See you around."
Garrus dropped a paper envelope into Jeff's lap before leaving. Joker gave the turian a wary look before carefully opening the envelope. In crude penmanship (no doubt from Garrus copying the letters on the extranet) read in english: They're listening.
Joker looked further into the pouch and saw eight crushed listening devices.
"Figures." Joker shook his head, sealed the envelope back up, and tossed it into his drawer, "How predictable." He repeated.
It was clear what Garrus was doing.
He was giving Cerberus an obscure middle finger. And what better way to do that by handing that envelope to Joker in front of EDI.
If Garrus was working with Cerberus, it was going to be on his terms.
Period.
Garrus walked down the Normandy's long neck, across the CIC, and stepped into the elevator. During the entire duration of his ride back down to the crew deck, he stared at the camera stuffed into the elevator's corner.
He hoped the Illusive man was watching what he did. Hopefully it would send a big enough message. A message to remind TIM what Shepard's old team was like.
Speaking of Shepard, Garrus had to remember that he was actually alive again. Aside from the detour he took heading off the Migrant Fleet with Tali, things were looking fairly good.
Had Tali not met Shepard on Freedom's Progress, things probably would have played out a lot differently.
It was time to rectify that. Things had deadlines. And John joining them was long overdue.
Garrus' omni-tool turned on and he dialed for Tali.
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Fifteen minutes previously.
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John gave both the little quarian girls sitting beside him a jolly look.
John remembered somewhere, either from Tali telling him or the extranet, that personal space was supposed to be a serious thing for quarians. Considering how much of a premium it was around here.
Apparently not.
With John in the middle, they had reached for both his hands and gave every finger he had a wiggle.
"Chilo." Tali's growl didn't seem to faze them as they continued their violating inspection, "Siv. You're not being very respectful of our guest." She spat in her monotone rasp.
"Don't be such a grump, TalTals." Chilo said in her mocking voice. John couldn't help but be amused by the nickname they gave Tali, "Mr. Shepard seems to be having fun—right Mr. Shepard?"
"Of course!" John answered in his overly merry tone.
Usually, Tali loved hearing him like that. But not when he was defending these two hell-spawns.
"Isn't it hard to keep track of all these fingers?" Siv said to John's right when she gripped his pinky and ring to connect them, "There's so many."
"Not at all." John explained with his big beaming grin. He leaned in close and began typing on an imaginary keyboard, "I bet I can type faster with all these fingers than both of you."
"Nu-uh." Chilo berated.
"Yes-Huh, you dim-bulb. He has more fingers than us, Chilo." Siv called out over John's lap to get in the other girls face.
Tali let out a quiet grumble and returned to her pasty meal and fixed her glowing eyes on the nipple. "I'm so sorry, John."
"Don't be. These guys are great." He laughed and gently placed his hands on both their heads.
"Okay, guys, let ol' Commander Shepard here finish eating. We have stuff to do." Juel said evenly between a mouthful of food.
"Okay." Both the kids got up, waved the adults goodbye, and poked Tali's sides to tickle her before finally leaving them.
"Great kids." John chuckled as he watched him go.
"You're kidding." She said flatly. John nodded and Tali faced Juel, "So it's that easy for you? I can hardly make them pick up their trash, let alone be polite! I should have a word with their parents."
"You have. On multiple occasions." Juel pointed out, "It's probably why their efforts at pissing you off have doubled."
John shrugged and made an eager attempt to show he wasn't interested in voicing an opinion when Tali looked at him.
"Ugh. I'm going to get my tablet." Tali got up from the table, retrieved the device in her room a few feet away, and sat back down.
"So what's scheduled for tomorrow?" Juel asked with a dreary tone when he fumbled with his bladder of food.
"We're meeting up with my dad tomorrow first thing in the morning for an official debriefing." Tali answered.
She handed the tablet to Juel so he could skim through the text.
"So just a typical meeting then? Nothing else?" Juel passed the device to John.
"Admiral Gerrel will be joining along with Kal, Prazza, and their respective teams." She replied.
"I thought you said this was a debriefing. Why is Kal'Reeger attending? Let alone another Admiral?"
"It's uh, actually about Haestrom." She said finally, "I shouldn't say any more until tomorrow."
John rubbed his chin thoughtfully while he slurped on his tube of canned peaches through a wide straw.
He remembered her mentioning this earlier and it had him worried.
John knew enough to know she was referring about some quarian colony that was abandoned in the wake of their exile.
Which was, needless to say, in geth space.
The details hadn't been forthcoming (for obvious reasons) which had made him terribly anxious about what would be laid ahead for them all. The last thing he wanted to do was fight geth.
In John's short but enduring Alliance career, it was safe to say the geth were some of the toughest bad guys he'd ever faced.
They had the might of the krogan, the discipline stronger than a turian, and the intelligence five times that of a salarian.
It was, to John, very puzzling that he and his team made it as far as they did, and then some. Too bad it ended so tragically two years ago.
"Let's not worry about it." John lied. He put on the fakest smile she couldn't see and took a swig of his jug of water.
"Agreed. We'll get all our questions answered tomorrow."
Tali agreed by slowly nodding her head. A quarian woman turned the corner and suddenly threw her arms up in surprise.
"Tali! Juel!" Enyah called out in her honeyed voice, "I heard we have a new guest! Please, Tali, introduce me to your friend!"
Shepard couldn't help but notice how his translator had given Enyah an Aussie accent.
"Oh!" Tali immediately got up from the table, gave Enyah a hug, and gestured with a hand to Shepard, "John, meet Enyah'Say vas Neema nar Oyulna. She's our neighbor. Right above us."
"Pleased to meet you ma'am." He offered his hand and she shook it briskly with both of hers.
"This has to be the most interesting thing that has ever happened on the Neema. Except for when Juel lost his arm."
"Alright." Juel chided from behind Enyah with a snort, "Okay."
"Wait, I hate to skip on formalities, Ms. Enyah… but—Juel, I always wanted to ask you about how you ended up with that prosthetic."
"Yeah. Slipped in a septic tank and cut my arm. Had a nice swim in it while I bled out. You can imagine what that does to quarians. Terrible stuff."
"That... uh—wow."
"So, Enyah here works on navigation and traffic control." Tali started to try and steer them away from what would've been an awkward lull.
"That I do. What does our new friend do?" She asked coyly.
"Uh. Alliance Navy, recently—er, retired. Kind of. It's complicated." Tali stammered. John nodded quickly.
"I meant what are you capable of doing here on the ship? A fellow engineer perhaps? In some past life?"
"Oh!" Tali quickly corrected herself, not heeding that perhaps Enyah was a little more filled in on what was going on, "Well, John?"
John cleared his throat and put his elbows on the table.
"I can tell the Neema is a Haveron-4 capital class destroyer. A salarian and turian jointed design made about seventy or so years ago and placed into service eight years after that. Six hundred thirty of these craft were built. And now she's an attachment to the heavy fleet. Two of her four engines have been stripped and upgraded with Tacheon matter-anti-matter thrusters. Retrofitted for grad-stat stage two's. Her age is probably about sixty earth years. Armaments look pristine and well-maintained. Means she's more than likely to hold her own against today's cruiser from any council military."
Tali let out a loving sigh and felt her heart flutter.
"Tali." Enyah turned to her, "You've got one hell of a 'friend' here."
She held her head up with a hand and hummed. "That I do."
She sat down next to Juel. "So what brought you here? It's not every day we have a human come live with us."
"Seeking refuge, actually. Running from Cerberus."
"Cerberus." The tone Enyah used could best be described as razors cutting through flesh.
"Yeah."
"Then more reason for you to be here and away from those bosh'tets." She grabbed Tali's wrist for her attention, "You gave him a tour right? Of the Neema?"
"Of course! How else could he have said all that sexy talk?"
"Only an engineer would find that sensual." Enyah groaned.
Tali gave John her best set of dreamy eyes. "That's about all it takes to make me swoon."
"Dear god, what am I witnessing." Juel said with his most unimpressed frown, "Worst flirting ever."
John put an arm around Tali and played in on the mushy crap. "We can turn up the heat if you'd like. She's an absolute sucker for mass effect theory."
Enyah laughed and slapped Juel's back at his expense.
"Alright." Juel said while shaking his head, "You had your fun. You're gonna make me vomit."
Tali started laughing. "Oh, stop. We're just pushing your buttons."
Olasie turned the corner and gave them all a wave. "Hey you guys."
"Hey Olasie," Juel greeted, all smiles before figuring he'd do a little button pushing himself, "How's the new tattoo?"
"Fuck you too, Juel." Olasie whispered back with a thin smile.
"Oh, I forgot to mention earlier that Olasie is our neighbor next to us, John." Tali said as she pointed to Olasie's cubicle that sat right next to Tali's.
"Nice to see you again. And I forgive you for lying to me."
"Lying?" John gave Olasie an odd look.
"You told me you were still Alliance." She admonished, "When you weren't anymore. Need I mention the Cerberus dogs holding you hostage?"
"Sorry. I'm sure you understand."
"That's why I forgive you." Olasie shook his hand and sat down at the table.
John bit his lip and stood straighter in his chair. "So, Tali. Are all your neighbors girls?" John gave her a confused glance.
"No." She shook her head and thumbed the room right above Enyah's room, "That's, uh, Hiva'Mowla and his wife up there. He's on duty right now; part of the engineering crew. He probably won't be here for another hour."
"And where do you live, Juel?"
"Somewhere that way." Juel pointed behind him, "Far enough away to avoid these three."
Olasie punched him lightly in the arm. "Knock it off you bosh'tet. You love us. Remember?"
"Yeah. Whatever." He grumbled.
"I'm going to go to bed, guys. It's been a long day." Enyah said as she got up. She took the small flight of stairs up to her room. Just as she was about to cross the breadth of her curtain, she perched both her hands against the railing and called out to her.
"Oh, and Tali?" She gave the woman still sitting at the table a swaying finger, "Juel told me everything. I know it's Commander Shepard. The Commander Shepard. Your sweet little Nehya."
Tali stammered and couldn't bring herself to say anything. So she stared at Juel dumbly. She wasn't going to tell Enyah everything until a little later. But in retrospect, the questions and coincidences of their conversation now seemed apparent.
"I am so happy for you. Please keep the noise to a minimum, hm? I don't want to hear anything when I'm sleeping."
Tali felt her cheeks darken. "...No promises."
Embarrassment. That's what she felt. She stole herself a quick glance to see John lulling his head back with what she imagined would be a sheepish smile on his face. There was a learning curve being around these three friends of hers. hopefully John, in due time, would get it.
"Keelah." Juel groaned, "Do you guys ever stop?"
Tali ignored Juel's rhetorical question and faced Olasie.
"How's Veetor?" She asked.
"Doing well. He checked in to the doctor to get a full psychiatric make-up. I think he'll be alright." The confidence in her voice waned. "I think."
John nodded grimly. "Anything new from him about the collectors?"
"No." Olasie took a deep breath and wished she could have another bottle of the stuff she had back at Vista Cova, "That poor boy." Her imagination pulled her away and stuffed nightmares in front of her eyes to see. "An entire city gone and you their only survivor."
The lightheartedness simmered away. Every smile at the table turned into a deep pressed frown. Neither of them knew it, but both Tali and John were encapsulated under the memories of Ullipses and the fate they'd suffered there.
"There's no sense in ruminating," Juel answered, "There isn't anything we can do about it."
John hoped that wasn't the case. Honestly, Shepard was under the strong belief now that the Illusive Man really was onto something. That the collectors, much like the geth, were puppets to the Reaper's ploys. He never needed much convincing from TIM. It's just that he wasn't particularly fond of signing an agreement with a human supremacist hell bent on shitting on everyone else to advance the human cause.
Tali shrugged. "For right now, let's just worry about tomorrow. So, Olasie, I'd like to meet in the morning before we head off to the Rayya with the others."
"Just text me what time, Tali." Olasie replied before standing up, "I think I'm going to head to bed too."
"Same here." Juel said.
"I guess that means we will too." John stood up and shook Juel's hand. But Olasie gave him a hug.
"Nope, handshaking is too formal. You're family now." She stepped back, "See you in the morning."
They all separated and Tali went into her home with John.
When John closed the curtain, he sat down on her chair and saw that her mood looked lackluster. "Hey. How you feeling?"
Tali had to pause at the question. She was feeling a lot of things, lately. Like, a lot of things.
The first and foremost being that John was alive. Alive.
He wasn't dead floating in space or lying in a coffin six feet underground. He was sitting right in front of her. Breathing.
But the horror of what happened and what wanted to be forgotten had no longer only loomed. It was there to meet her. Hot on her door.
The collectors were back. And with it the despair they had wrought.
"I— I don't know, honestly." Was an honest admission. Sinking onto the edge of her bed, she fixed her eyes on John. Behind the reflective surface of his visor, she could see the weight of concern behind them.
"I'm happy John. I am so happy. But... it's hard to let go of what happened."
"This is a weird thing to be navigating." John agreed.
"And I know it shouldn't even matter anymore. But I keep thinking about it."
"About what?"
She stared up at the ceiling as she tried to assemble a sentence. "I kept wanting to ask but I kept holding it off because I was too happy to really care. But now I do care and I—...I want to know what happened after—" She took a quick breath and blinked away the coming tears, "…after we separated on that elevator two years ago."
John was quiet for a long moment before getting up to sit right next to her. He brought out an arm and held it along her back as if to root her with his touch.
"Please, John. I need to know."
"Okay."
He drew in a deep lungful of air to steady himself for what he knew was going to be sensitive for her. "I went back down. Told half of the crew to head up with you to prep the evac-pods while the rest of us would stay to prep the rest."
He watched her fingers flex tightly around her knees.
"...Then a giant explosion tore through the deck." John said distantly as he recalled the memory. "Grabbed onto what I could and held on. Clearly I— didn't make it."
She heaved a breath and it made John hold her tighter.
"Everything in it got spaced. The ship that rescued us included. Locked myself inside it."
"I know." She murmured faintly with a depthless inhale, "I got your message."
The pause between them was steady. It was like stacking one regret upon another.
"Christ, Tali. I'm sorry you had to listen to that."
"Don't be." She said in a long and drawn-out whisper.
Another stillness between them and he sucked in a deep breath. "I should've listened to you. When you told me not to go."
She set a hand atop his thigh. "Try not to do it again." She said, forcing a smile and blinking away more tears.
"I'll try not to. I swear."
"Good."
"What happened after?" John asked, "Since I wasn't exactly around for that part."
"The collectors left and the planet got sucked into a black hole."
John tried processing the fantastical claim. "Huh."
"Don't ask how or why." Tali answered.
"Was it the ghost rock things? Can I ask that at least?"
"Don' know. Probably."
"Anything else? Do you know more?"
"No."
"I see."
Tali's stared at nothing, lips pressed tightly together.
"...What happened to you and the Denmark?"
"We abandoned it. Then the Alliance third fleet dropped out of FTL and the collectors left." She leveled a questioning squint at him. "Why didn't Cerberus tell you any of this?"
"They weren't exactly forthcoming with anything I asked. I had to fight with them just to tell me what year it was when I woke up."
"Of course." She said with an incensed scoff before deciding to take off her belts and pockets. "—What was it like being dead?"
"Like…" He paused. "Huh. Well—it was like having a long night's sleep, I suppose. About the same feeling you get before you were born."
"Sounds about right." She said when she folded her realk neatly away into a cubby. She looked up from the drawer and gave John a puzzled look, "I hate to keep it on this. But the collectors; what are we going to do about them?"
"Are you suggesting that we—"
"—No. I don't know. You're not Alliance anymore." She interrupted.
"And I'm not a spectre either." He put away his gear in the cubby next to hers.
"Maybe we should go and try to reinstate it?" Tali asked as she ushered John into bed with her.
"One thing at a time. After the mission on Haestrom goes, we'll see if we can. After that, we can find out exactly what's going on with the collectors."
"…and the reapers." She added.
"Them too." He reached for the blanket and put it over both of them.
"John?" Her nose was a mere inch from his as they rest on their pillows.
"Yes, Tali?"
"I have a feeling this is going to be a busy year." Tali said in a tired whisper.
"I know." John replied.
Tali's omni-tool shined on her nightstand. She sat up and peered over John's shoulder to get a better look.
"Who the hell could tha—it's Garrus."
John shot up. "Garrus?"
"Yeah. He must know you're alive." Tali pointed at her tell to have Shepard hand over her omni-tool. He gave it to her and slipped on the electronic bracelet.
"…Garrus?"
"Hey. Good to see you. It's been a while since we talked." Garrus said.
"Months, actually. What's up?" Tali greeted.
"Honestly, Tali, I think I should be asking you that." His mandibles frowned, "Where's Shepard?"
"Garrus." John called out, "You smug bastard. It's good to see your face."
Tali let John in on the picture.
"And you look no worse for wear, Shepard. I can't believe you're actually back with us. I didn't think Cerberus could do it."
"WAIT." Tali's back stood straight up, "YOU. KNEW?"
"Yes. And Liara promised me not to tell you."
Tali's head whipped back and made this long forced laugh John knew wasn't happy.
"Of 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆 she did."
"If you're mad at me—"
"I'm not mad at you. Not that much." Tali interjected, "What I still don't understand, is the reason behind why she kept him a secret." She jabbed her finger into John's chest.
"Look. You're pissed."
"Pissed? Garrus. I'm livid." Tali spat angrily.
"Fine. But you need to hear me out."
"Okay." John said after he placed a hand on Tali's back to calm her down, "What's up?"
"Are you alone? No-one in ear-shot?" Garrus asked.
"You're linked to our suits only." Tali huffed.
"Shepard." Garrus let out a long drawn sigh, "John. Cerberus asked for my help. And I accepted."
"You're kidding me." John retorted, "Why?"
"It's a long story. But you need to hear me out in full."
"We're listening."
"Cerberus wasn't joking about how much they invested into you. Were you aware of what they were prepared to provide you with?"
The silence from Tali and Shepard was his invitation to continue.
"They were going to be your benefactor."
"So?" Tali shrugged.
"They built a ship outfitted with a crew and top-grade resources."
"A ship? But is it as good as the Normandy was?" John asked.
"Better. A Normandy lookalike. She's twice as big, twice the amount of firepower," Garrus looked at Tali, "and an engine twice the size of the old. New internal emission sink. Cerberus knows how to build a ship. And I'm not exaggerating."
"Hold on. I got to swallow this." John furrowed his brow and shook his head. "Garrus, are you under duress or something?"
"No. Though I'm glad you asked that. Here. Look. I'll give you a little tour of the crew deck." Garrus' camera switched to a first-person view.
"Look familiar?" Garrus showed the elevator before rearing the corner to let John and Tali see the conference table next to the mess and Miranda's office.
"Wow. She looks just like the Normandy. Just bigger."
"Yeah. Shepard. We've been recruiting people to take the fight against the collectors abducting human colonies. And if there's anybody we need, it's you two."
"We can't." Tali said before John could even say anything, "We have a mission."
"She's right, Garrus. We do have a schedule to go by right now."
Garrus' face returned on Tali's omni-tool. The look on his face was not happy.
"Fine." He muttered, "But Shepard—you're the only one I know who can do this. You remember what the collectors did to us two years ago. And TIM thinks they're paired up with the reapers. It's time to even that score. I'm not asking for a decision. This is a matter of when you're coming aboard."
John looked at Tali. "…I—I don't know. It depends on how long this mission is. After that…" Shepard's voice trailed off.
"Give me a timetable to work by."
"It's not that easy, Garrus."
"Didn't say it was. But it needs to be soon. Call me whenever you have an answer. I have to go."
"It was good to see you again Garrus."
"You too. Both of you. When you do come, you'll see Joker and Chakwas. They're here too."
"No kidding?"
"Seriously. It won't be like old times. But it can be once you two get back on with us."
"Take care of yourself."
And just like that, the call ended.
Tali held her hands in her lap before throwing them up in the air.
"There is no way Garrus would—I just… can't believe it. Why would he join them? It's Cerberus."
"We can get those questions answered when we talk to him again." John stood up and started pacing, "TIM got me a ship? With a crew and resources? Jesus. Why didn't he tell me sooner?"
"If it were my guess? He was trying to leave an impression on you first with Freedom's Progress."
"It didn't work."
She stared at his hands and snuck a hand into one as if she could find answer through touch alone.
"What are we going to do?" she asked finally.
"After this mission?" He closed his hand around hers, "I really don't know."
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When Garrus ended the call, he sighed and went straight to the fridge for some water and a hot meal. When it was done heating in the microwave, he went on his way down to the main battery to get started on his calibrating. Before he could take the first bite out of his steaming steak, Miranda walked in behind him.
"Mr. Vakarian."
"I'm not going to even take a guess as to why you're here." He put his turian version of a fork down and looked at the woman.
"I was contacted by EDI." Miranda began.
"And?"
"I don't take kindly to demure ploys."
The turian shoved a mouthful of food into his open mouth and chewed. He did it to piss her off.
He knew humans didn't think very highly of what a turian looked like when they ate. And judging by the way Miranda gaze faltered when his mandibles were waxed with grease, it put on the repulsive effect he wanted.
"Do not imitate the illusion of control on me, Mrs. Lawson." He gobbed, "I'm the closest damn thing to getting Shepard in on this. So I'd suggest you stop tapping in on my self-mumbled conversation about eezo applications in the battery."
"You've taken the liberty of removing them without bringing the issue to us first."
Garrus sighed and pushed his plate to the table next to his unassembled gun.
"Lawson, I'm sure you know a lot about me."
"Everything I needed to know." She replied.
"Then there's your answer. You should expect this kind of resistance." He stood up and easily towered a foot over her. "And I will not put up with it."
"Mr. Vakarian." She stared him right in the eye, "If you have any complaints, then take them up with me. The memos you have been putting across are gratuitous and unnecessary."
"Oh, but it is. My point needed to be made. If you want my help? If you want Shepard's help? Then we need to trust each other enough to not be wiring every wall with a tap." He took the last envelope he had that was for Chakwas (stuffed with more broken listening devices) into her hand, "It's a request, Mrs. Lawson. Please accept it."
She took the envelope, nodded, and walked out.
She was not used to dealing with people like this.
Not one bit.