Halloween was a much beloved holiday in the town of Springfield. It was a time when the strange and macabre surfaced, when everyone took the chance to dress up as goblins and ghouls and various licensed fictional superheroes. Springfield was unique in the seriousness it took celebrating the eve, or rather unique in the way a small town might stand out among a particularly unassuming state. And in all the town's ghastly gaiety, the epicenter could certainly be pinpointed at one particular suburb—Evergreen Terrace. And at a particular house, 742, the neighbors dubbed Everscream Terrors, out of admiration for the Simpson family's dedication to the craft of holiday décor. Arched black cats lined the yard, complimented by crooked tombstones and uncomfortably detailed mounds of gored body parts. For the Simpsons in particular, Halloween was a family affair. At least, it was until this year—as on this night; it seemed the household was one member short.

As a senior in high school, Bart Simpson preferred to spend the holiday with his friends. Being declared a traitor by his dad, he sat in wait on Everscream Terror's chief competitor's porch, regularly known as Mackleberry Manor. It did not particularly bother him; being away from personal family drama was always a relief. He leaned against a support column and took a noisy sip from a can of soda. A burp escaped him as he set the can down on the concrete step. "Honestly, T, this is way scarier than my house."

His girlfriend, Terri, was busy straightening a row of three parallel brown coffins, ornately etched with a silver lining. She glanced back, flashing him a big goofy grin. "That's because our house was haunted when we bought it. Might still be," she added with an eyebrow waggle.

Nearby her identical twin sister, Sherri, was draping fake cobwebs over the knee-height iron gate that fenced in their property. She stopped briefly to add, "Yeah. Everscream Terrors is just sooo painfully commercial." She scoffed, shaking her head. "Scary for the sake of scary ruins the magic. True horror is subtlety."

Both normally stuck out like a sore thumb in nearly every other possible setting imaginable, but on the frightful day of Halloween, their ghostly ashen skin and fluffy lavender rat nests that constituted a hairstyle were an invaluable asset. When coupled with a tendency to speak in perfect sync and a secret language only they understood, the creepy girls could easily frighten just about anyone.

Even Sherri and Terri's friends used to have trouble telling them apart until the latter dyed her side-swept bangs black with a blonde stripe on the right of her face. It was a decision that'd caused much discord among the sisters, but one that was supported by Bart. The young man remained seated on the porch, rolling his eyes. Not a soul took the spirit of terror more seriously than the unfairly-maligned-as-creepy twins. They were already dressed head-to-toe in homemade costumes, featuring bluish-charcoal colored robes tied at the waist using a rope, on the center of which was a three-pronged, squiggly yellow symbol. The heavy usage of dark makeup gave them a skeletal appearance.

Their creativity did genuinely excite the artist in Bart, though, who felt a bit regretful about his store-bought navy blue mechanic's jumpsuit and low-quality Michael Myers mask that did not even fit. So instead he chose to let his blonde locks be free in the wind, a decision he was already regretting as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes for the third time. "Oh my, is that a hint of jealousy? Don't be mad that the ole crap shack competes with your authentic haunted manor."

"Competes? I wouldn't call everyone wanting to watch your dad get drunk and make an ass out of himself competing ," Terri said as she came over to sit down next to him. "Meanwhile, no one dares walk by this place year-round, especially at night."

Bart took another sip of his soda, which had already gone flat. "Fair enough. Though I'm pretty sure that's because of the rumors you guys told those kindergartners about a bogeyman eating kids in the shed 'round back."

Terri giggled mischievously, reaching for his soda. "Maybe it was the truth. It would be hard for a single mom to afford a place like this." He handed off what might as well have been glorified ear medicine, and she paused. "Nelly and Jess sure are taking their sweet time shaking down that dork." She took a sip and immediately gagged. "Ugh! How do you drink this stuff?"

Bart scanned the street, a few cars flying by with complete disregard for the speed limit. Several clouds passed overhead, granting respite from the hot sun and setting a more appropriate mood. "I'm used to it. We were too poor to buy the name-brand stuff." He shrugged. "My guess is they killed the greaseball and are currently tossing his remains in the freezer."

Her dark humor had long rubbed off on him. Hearing their conversation, and done with her delicate work, Sherri walked up to them. "Jessica would never do something so blunt. Extortion doesn't work on the dead." Remembering something else, she clapped her hands together. "Oh, Terri! We forgot the blood!"

She gleefully darted inside, the screen door slamming behind her. Terri glanced over. "I hope you are looking forward to a frightfully boring and totally normal Halloween night."

"Dude, you have no idea," Bart said, completely deadpan, nudging her with his foot. "After last year, smashing a mailbox or two sounds way more relaxing than it should." He thought for a second, then added. "Though I think I'm more excited for just kicking back and watching some bad horror movies tonight."

"It sounds nice," Terri said as she leaned onto his leg, waggling her eyebrows in an awkward attempt at flirting. "But you know… They say a full moon during Samhain has strange effects on Mackleberry women." She whispered, "Maybe we could have a different kind of fun."

"Strange, huh?" Bart mused as she puckered her lips expectantly. He did not need any help guessing at her hint and leaned down to kiss her. As he brought his head back against the post behind him, he asked, "Are you sure we need more twins in Springfield? Isn't that some kind of omen of doom?"

Terri scooted the soda can away and snickered. "Perhaps… However, I'm pretty sure when you asked me out, I warned you there was always a small chance we would bring forth a star spawn and doom mankind."

"Whoa, mama. The sun ain't even down yet," Bart replied with a laugh as he rubbed his brow. "We need to take it a little slower." She was about to respond when the screen door slammed shut again, and Sherri emerged holding a plastic bowl filled with fake blood.

Humming a certain theme from a scary movie, she skipped merrily over to the mechanical skeleton sitting on the rocking chair and spread the red liquid around its feet. As she meticulously shaped a new puddle, Nelson's gray 70s Chevelle roared to a stop in their driveway. Its front bumper was hanging by a single bolt, duct tape covering the edges of its windshield. The vehicle had enough dents in it that looked more like it was ready to be crushed into a cube than driven on a road. Effortlessly, he pulled himself up and out through the driver's side window, calmly whistling while he went around the back, opening the passenger door for Jessica. The girl exited, looking mighty uncomfortable in her cliché pink princess gown, complete with dainty little fairy wings. She dropped her head, causing her flawless, straightened, ebony hair's tips to just barely touch the cracked driveway. The flashy move caused her bow to fall to the ground.

Nelson offered an arm as she snatched the stray hairpiece, only to toss it into the floor of the car. She waved a hand dismissively at his attempt at chivalry and together; they joined the rest of their squad. Amused by her overly girly appearance, which was no doubt uncomfortable, Bart snorted, "Yo Jess, that desperate to find Prince Charming?"

"Come on, Bart. Surely you can do better," Jessica chided, as she hopped onto the porch. She tugged on her collar, finding it needlessly restrictive. "Mom was so damn insistent." Mockingly, she tried to mimic her mother, clasping both hands. "Oh sweetie, surely you would prefer to wear something less whorish."

"It's true. I saw," Nelson said, having been forced to wait an extra thirty minutes when the Lovejoy matriarch caught Jessica trying to slip out without being seen. He clicked his Krueger claws. "I have never heard a woman shriek so loudly." His dingy striped black and red sweater was surprisingly not store-bought. He had made it with the help of Terri the week earlier, using the Nightmare movies as a reference.

Not quite finished, Jessica excitedly patted Sherri's shoulder, who stood. "But for your information, Bart," the two girls shared a passionate smooch, dragging it out intentionally as the rest of their friends tried to avoid staring. Only when fully satisfied did the raven-hair beauty turn to smirk at Bart. "She is right here."

"Point taken," He said, used to their public displays of affection. It was one of the main reasons people avoided the freaks at Springfield High.

Sherri giggled, covering her mouth bashfully. She gave her girlfriend's waist a gentle squeeze. "Your actual costume is under my bed."

"Thanks, hun. You are a lifesaver," Jessica said, giving a cute curtsy before disappearing inside to get changed.

Nelson shifted, belt clinking as he adjusted it. "If you're wondering why we didn't get food, the little weenie's manager caught him."

Terri raised an eyebrow, then giggled creepily. "Guess that means he's on the list. Shame, we had an agreement."

"How many mailboxes does that make now?" Bart asked, getting distracted when the ugliest orange sedan in history slowly crawled past the house. He was almost certain he saw the driver staring at them before the car sped away. "Weirdo…"

Nelson followed his gaze, squinting uneasily. "Uhh… six? Shouldn't take us more than an hour if we gun it."

"What about Martin's party?" Terri asked. Pretty much their entire class had been invited to the annual festivities. "Might cut into our schedule."

Finished applying the blood, Sherri placed the bowl on the ground and sat down next to the well-dressed man of bones. "Eww. You actually want to go to the Prez's party? It'll be boring." She grimaced, remembering the last party he threw. "I still taste those tainted oysters sometimes."

Bart could not disagree with their class president's overwhelming lameness. "You're forgetting he's stinkin' rich. That means there's bound to be a cool light show, at the very least."

"You say that, then his parents come in and yell at us for smoking in the backyard." Nelson said, speaking from experience. "Hell, they probably won't even let our dumbasses in."

Terri frowned, raising an objecting finger. "Maybe not you. But the rest of us are perfectly respectable guests." When her boyfriend busted out laughing, she sulked. "Okay, fine. We'd all totally get the boot."

Bart sat up, putting his arms around Terri's shoulders and allowing her to lean against him. "Come on, babe, it's not that bad. I'm confident we could get through the front door before Nelson punches someone."

"I'm not," Nelson said instantly, giving his knuckles a light kiss. "Those nerds always gotta ask why a handsome guy like me doesn't have a date."

"Oh, I know this one. It's 'cause you're waiting for the right man," Terri said cheekily, glad she was no longer trapped in purgatory pining over someone who did not notice her. He shot her a glare, and she immediately receded. "I meant Lisa! You're just waiting on Lisa to get her head out of her ass!"

Satisfied by her reaction, Nelson gave a curt nod. The front door swung open again, getting everyone's attention. Out stepped Jessica, having changed into her far more appropriate and revealing witch costume. The ragged skirt stopped at her mid-thigh and was complete with an upside-down crucifix hanging from her neck, which plunged into her cleavage. She gave a twirl. "So… What do you guys think?"

Whistling, Nelson soaked in an eyeful. "I think Sherri is the luckiest girl in Springfield." He barely had time to react before the plastic bowl flew at his stomach. "Whoa! I meant no disrespect!"

Sherri stood, putting an arm around Jessica's shoulders. "Uh huh. You had your chance." She gave him a wry look. "Lucky you, we don't mind giving a show."

"Trust me, bro, you aren't missing anything," Bart said, having dated Jessica when he was ten. He pointed to the innocent-acting reverend's daughter. "She wins you over with her short skirts, and long eyelashes… Then, bam!" He punched his fist. "You're getting accused of stealing the church collection plate."

"Aw, come on, Bart," Jessica cooed sweetly, giving her girlfriend a friendly pinch on the rear before dancing over to him. "You agreed that little incident was water under the bridge. Besides, I'm reformed now."

Terri puffed her cheeks as the teasing harlot leaned forward, making sure he could get an eye full. Bart was wise to the game, though, and responded dismissively. "Sorry, toots. Your charms are powerless against me." He nudged his girlfriend closer. "I prefer a cute girl like this one right here."

"Charmer," Terri said, rubbing his forearm. "He's right, though, Jess. Go use your wily tricks on some other unsuspecting man."

Jessica had no intention of breaking up the happy couple and smiled. "Good. I like our double dates, anyway." She returned to her partner, linking arms as she placed a hand on her hip. "Now then, I am downright famished. Since our mark didn't pay up, wanna go to Luigi's?"

"Why not? It's the brain and blood special tonight," Sherri said, referencing the fall pizza special at the restaurant. "We missed last year's."

Nelson tossed his keys into the air, catching them effortlessly. "I hear he made it extra gorier this time. Double everything."

"Not to mention this is the first time we're all in costume," Terri said, standing up. "I bet we could get the whole thing half off."

"Hell, I bet we could get it for free. Luigi owes me a couple of favors," Bart said. He enjoyed a warm relationship with Springfield's homegrown Italian mobsters who were embedded in the immigrant community. Not for anything questionable, mind you—he simply preferred handling local Don Fat Tony's legal affairs compared to the more traditional minimum wage slavery at a fast-food joint. His friends were aware of this, of course, although it hardly helped his reputation as a delinquent. Before anyone could react, he blew past Nelson, shouting. "I call the backseat!"

Nelson objected immediately, "Terri, please don–" though it was too late, and she clambered in the car behind Bart, their grabby hands all over each other. "Why do I even try?" he lamented.

Sherri giggled as they headed toward his car. "We tip for your services."

"Oh, he's just jealous that backseat has gotten more action than him recently," Jessica teased, playfully ribbing their unfortunate friend. "Tell you what, Nelly. You can watch us make out next time."

"Mhmm. Lucky me," Nelson grumbled as they piled into the remaining seats. The two girls shared the passenger side, keen to avoid the mass of groping wild limbs behind them.

Luigi's Pizzeria was a quaint pink brick building on the southwest side of the town, amidst the heavily gentrified foreign district. Sandwiched between the cemetery and the upscale South Street Squidport, it spoke to a level of opulence most suburbanites usually could not routinely afford, sans a special occasion. Like the rest of town, it was decorated to the nines for the holiday. Pumpkins lit the roof, ghostly faces were plastered on the windows, and severed limbs sticking outwards from the bushes, each carefully marked with the name of a competing restaurant.

Pulling into the parking lot around the back, muffled piano music could be heard filtering outside the establishment. Not that Bart noticed, as he was too busy enjoying a mouthful of Terri's tongue. Their ardent noises finally pushed Nelson to the edge of his patience, and he grabbed the roll of a newspaper he was planning to use later as kindling and twisted around in his seat. "Enough, you disgusting animals!"

He thwacked the obnoxious lovers mercilessly on their heads until Terri exclaimed, shielding herself, "Okay, okay! We surrender!"

"Snrk," Jessica snorted, unbuckling the seat belt. "You know, guys, maybe we should try to get Lisa into the love seat." She gave Nelson a knowing look. "That way, he can stop being so cranky."

Their misfortunate driver grumbled, thumping his forehead against the steering wheel. "She's not that kind of girl. She's classy ."

Sherri made a face. "Pretty sure he means she's stuck up." She followed Jessica as they exited the car.

Trying to be supportive, Bart patted his friend's shoulder. "While I think it's super weird you are into my sister," he muffled a laugh and continued, "I do think you are her best option."

Nelson ran a hand through his hair, straightening his shoulders. "Wow, Bart, you really think so?"

"Well, yeah. After what happened to Milhouse…" Bart said vaguely, giving a half-hearted shrug. "She could do uglier."

"Too bad I can't say the same for Terri," Nelson responded snidely, climbing through his driver's side window as he did earlier.

Terri frowned, feeling a little insulted. She did not let it bother her for long though, instead stroking her boyfriend's chest. "I know I don't need to tell you but…" She lowered her voice, "I think you're hot."

Bart clicked his tongue. "Ah, thanks T." He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "It's your opinion that matters most." They crawled over to the front seats, joining the rest of their friends as they went inside. The joint was packed with all manner of ghouls, goblins, zombies, and vampires. There was a small bar and register on the right side of the entrance, where an overworked employee was mixing a beverage for a couple dressed as peanut butter and jelly.

Spotting them, Luigi sprung into action, grabbing five menus, and approaching with a smile. He had forgone his normal chef's ensemble of white hat and apron for a gray military uniform. There was a bright blue sash across his chest and a fuzzy, Arditi-styled fez on his balding head, suggesting the proprietor was intentionally dressed as his homeland's most notorious dictator—a fact the unenlightened group of teens probably failed to notice. The man enthusiastically called out, "Ay, Bartholomew, it's always a pleasure." He scanned their faces. "What lovely wonderful costumes!" He stopped on the twins. "Tell me, girls, who might you be?"

Sherri and Terri grinned, pleased their outfit was obscure enough to confuse the normals. "We are worshiping our beloved king in yellow, Hastur."

"Ah! Excellent!" Luigi said, kissing his fingertips. "Mwah! Please, this way. I have the perfect table for Consigliere Simpson and his friends." He winked at the boy, motioning for them to follow. They were brought to the semi-circle both in the far corner, framed with a few fake spider webs, and a large red-gray anaconda around the edge of the seating. There was a red candle flickering on a black tablecloth with little laughing skulls across the fabric. As the rest of his friends slid into their preferred seating order, Bart said, "We are celebrating tonight, Luigi, my good man. If you are feeling generous, I can tell Anthony you're square with me."

"Ah! Very generous of you. Please do not worry about the bill," Luigi said, the two shaking hands like legitimate businessmen.

He left, going into the kitchen and shouting the order in Italian. Bart climbed past Nelson so he could sit next to Terri, who astutely commented, "He called you consigliere? That must mean you're a made man."

"Whoa. Did you whack someone, Bart?" Nelson asked, half-serious. He faked wiping a tear away. "I am so proud of you."

All eyes were on him, and Bart raised both hands. "Nah, nothing like that, you guys. Luigi's joking, I'm not involved with any of that…" he coughed, "side of the business."

Sherri crossed her legs and rested her chin in her hand. "Yeah. I doubt you could stomach any of the fun stuff, anyway." She scanned the menu, despite knowing what they would be getting. "At least I know who to call if I ever end up in jail."

"Anthony knows plenty of good lawyers… for some reason," Bart mused, feigning obliviousness at his patron's proclivities. "And for the record, it's not like there are better-paying jobs in this stinkhole town." He put an arm around Terri; "this way I can afford to have a life without begging my parents."

His mention of parents was enough for Jessica to change the subject. It was a topic they all had good reasons to avoid. Looking around at the other patrons, she said, "It is nice to see so many people getting into the season."

"I'm kind of surprised your mom didn't try to have it banned again." Nelson said, tapping his finger against the table. "A satanist holiday that promotes drug use and sacrilege, no?"

"Mmm. Tell me more about this sacrilege," Terri said, leaning into her partner.

Jessica noticed a few boys from school she knew and scooted closer to her girlfriend to avoid being seen. "To be honest, Mom and Dad have been weirdly chill recently." She shuddered, placing a hand on her chest. "Worse yet, they are actually taking an interest in my life."

"The fiends!" Sherri exclaimed as a bored waitress with freckles came to the table.

Recognizing the brunette, Nelson said, "Hey, Shauna. Since when do you work here?"

Shauna had graduated two years ahead of them and was known for her bad attitude. She blew a pink bubble out of her mouth and answered curtly, "Since Jimbo got locked up and I had to support myself." Remembering something else, she fished a pair of red devil horns from her apron, sliding them onto her head. "So, what do you guys want to drink?"

"Diet Coke," Nelson said, removing his claws and setting them on the table.

She looked to Bart, who thought for a moment before saying, "I want a Caffè al Ginseng. The kind Luigi likes."

Shauna scratched his order onto the notepad, asking, "Big plans tonight, huh?"

"You bet. We are gonna see if we can steal some candy," He answered, choosing to avoid mentioning their more illegal activities on the itinerary.

Terri sank a little as the waitress looked at her next. She did not know what she wanted, nervously fidgeting, "Come back to me, please.'

Sherri was more of a traditionalist. "Iced tea, please."

She felt a hand on her thigh as Jessica said, "Double-shot espresso."

Shauna nodded, "Good choice." Her gaze shifted to Terri again, who still stared off like a deer in headlights. Normally she would have asked for tea too, but asserting her uniqueness from Sherri had become the name of the game.

"Order a Marocchino. It's sweet, you'll love it," Bart whispered, helping her make a decision that wouldn't sacrifice her desire to be independent.

Terri nibbled on her lower lip a little longer, then said, "Marocchino."

"Interesting," Shauna muttered, making a note for a specialty drink. She left them alone, the double doors to the kitchen closing behind her.

Confused by her sister's order, Sherri glanced over. "Do you even know what that is?"

"Nope, but I wanted something different," Terri answered dryly, pushing into her boyfriend's embrace for reassurance.

A pepper and salt shaker duo walking through the front door caught Nelson's eye immediately. "Hey, Jess. Looks like your parents have decided to pay us a visit.

Jessica froze, subtly moving her head enough to verify he was not messing with her. She then put a hand near the side of her face, "Oh dear lord, no!"

Bart craned his neck to watch as the reverend and his wife were seated at a table near the window. He held up a hand. "Not to worry. We can leave out the back."

"Still. Don't let them see me," Jessica said, crawling over her girlfriend so she could be concealed between the twins. Once situated, she rubbed her forehead. "They will ask about our plans. Our dreams and aspirations. I can't take another barrage of interested questions."

She ducked down slightly, and Sherri leaned forward to cover her as best as possible. "More like they will see me, and give us a stern lecture about our sinful choices."

Nelson was already working on his plan, tearing a piece of the provided paper napkin and wetting it. "Let's find out, I can get their attent—" A shoe connected with his shin and he flinched. "Ouch."

"Try me," Jessica hissed. She bounced her leg, face scrunched as she desperately tried to think of a plan. "I'm not worried about another lecture as much as Dad making me leave early."

Their predicament was easily solved when Shauna returned, placing their drinks in front of the cadre of freaks. Bart was quick to say, "Yo, Shaun. Leave the back door unlocked for us. We're gonna have to make a discreet exit."

Shauna blew another pink bubble. She still did not understand why her boss was so accommodating toward her former classmate, but she knew it was not worth asking. "Gotcha. Luigi already said he'd comp the bill, so it's whatever."

"Our friend here is on the run," Terri said, jerking her head towards Jess, who was too busy staring at her drink. It was foamy at the top of the glass, with layers of dark liquid beneath. Intrigued, she gently blew some steam away, then took a sip.

As she did, Shauna raised an eyebrow. "Wow, really?" She snorted, laughing. "Kidding, I'm not that dumb. Yeah, sure, I can let you guys out through the back." She was about to leave, then remembering something else, she added, "Actually, I was going to tell you guys. Kearny and Dolph are throwing a huge asylum party at that old loony bin on the edge of town. Supposed to be pretty wicked."

Sherri and Terri were able to guess the place immediately. "The Home for the Criminally Different?" The macabre twins were deeply invested in learning about the potentially paranormal and forgotten history of their town.

"Yep, that one," Shauna said, not exactly surprised the Mackleberry girls knew. She gave a half-shrug. "I'd go, but, y'know—" She gestured to the packed place. "Gotta work."

Overly enthusiastic, Terri was quick to provide extra information about the asylum's history. "It was closed down by the state 'cause the doctors were performing lobotomies on women tourists. The official excuse was they were asking for direction too loudly and disturbing the peace."

"Not to mention our great-great-aunts were locked up there for practicing witchcraft," Sherri included, an equally morbid excitement on her face. She had given a report to her class on the history of persecution of twins in Springfield. "Screw smashing mailboxes. Let's go there."

Nelson groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Not again… You know damn well if we do, something horrible will happen." He listed off various locations. "Sir-Puttes-a-Lot, the Bowl-a-Rama… Hell, we can't even go to a motel without awakening the spirits of murdered hookers."

Shauna was very confused now, not understanding what he was even talking about. Bart raised his ceramic mug in front of his lips, "Eh… To be fair, that was not a haunting." He took a noisy gulp of his coffee. The ginseng provided a pleasant nutty flavor and warmed his gut. "I mean, how bad could it be? Visiting an abandoned asylum with a grim history on the most spooky night of the…" He trailed off, having answered his question.

"I swear, if some ghost doctor tries to lobotomize me," Jessica said, dumping five packets of sugar into her already-sweet tea and stirring. "Hell, if some ghost doctor lobotomizes me, you guys better put me up somewhere with a view."

Sherri giggled and leaned over, whispering, "Don't worry… I doubt either of us are going to make it out of the car tonight."

Jessica blushed, thumping her girlfriend's leg for the lurid comment. Shauna was starting to understand why everyone gave the freaks a wide berth. Regardless, she flashed a thumbs up. "Cool, cool. I'll let Dolph know you're coming." She raised her notepad. "Now, what will it be?"

It was not really a tough question, since the crew already knew exactly what they wanted. Nelson looked around once and did not need to ask. "We want the extra large blood n' intestines pizza. Double the lymph nodes, and three kinds of skin." A disgusting description of what made up a four-cheese pizza, with sausage, pepperoni, tomato sauce and garlic cloves.

The special was the obvious choice, and Shauna gave a brief nod, leaving again to put in the order. Using his free hand, Bart ran a finger through Terri's long hair. "You never told me your aunts were committed for witchcraft."

"Stupid gazhe wanted someone to blame for the yellow fever when it swept through," Terri said, falling into their secret language. "Cherri and Serri looked different and were women who lived alone, so they were easy to accuse of anything."

"Practicing medicine and telling locals to bathe. That was their crime," Sherri clarified, feeling understandably glum about the notion; "they were released, but only after a lover testified in their defense."

Amused, Nelson could not stop himself from laughing. "Ha! Those were the good ole days. Not only did we not have to take a bath, but any women who complained went straight into the hole." He clicked his tongue, dismayed by how things had changed. "Why would we ever do away with a system that works?"

Bart blew air out of his nose in response to the tasteless joke. Jessica was unimpressed. "Wow, that's a good one, Nelly. I'm sure Milhouse would've found it hilarious."

"You're right, I should write it down," Nelson said. He patted his leather jacket, but was not carrying a pencil. Seeing the rest were all staring at him, he shrugged. "Ah, don't look so mad. I'd totally testify for you guys."

Terri exchanged a knowing look with her twin and snickered. "I guess we have no choice but to make sure Lisa knows what kind of man you really are."

"Shame. We had been doing our best to spread rumors about how much you changed," Sherri continued, her lack of inflection making it impossible to tell if she was serious.

Bart looked from one side of the table to the other. "You know, bro, it was working, too. Lis was talking about how she was glad you were getting your life together."

Sherri and Terri grinned ear to ear, their ability to manipulate second only to Jessica. Intrigued, Nelson searched his friend's yellow face for a sign of the truth. "… You fucking with me?"

"Nope. She seemed pretty serious," Bart responded dryly as he pointed his thumb toward the door."She's probably bored as hell at home. Go keep her company. We can drive ourselves."

"Like shit, you are touching Debra," Nelson shot back, invoking the stupid name of his busted-up old Camaro. His demeanor shifted, and he snapped his finger. "I should invite her to this party."

A groan from the entire group was his response, as none of them ever wanted Bart's sister to come along and ruin their fun. One by one, they voiced their distaste. Sherri said, "She is literally the worst. Always trying to debunk our stories like she has any idea, or making her snide little comments about us."

"Not to mention never shutting her mouth about just how progressive and proud she is of me for being out," Jessica grumbled, having never understood why the twins disliked the girl until she had the misfortune of sitting next to Lisa one time.

Terri scowled deeply. She, of the rest of the freaks, had suffered the most spats with Bart's sister. Mostly as a result of a cultivated hostility owing to how Lisa treated her brother. "She has no right to judge my feelings. Maybe I am stupid, or maybe she is a colossal bitch."

She felt a hand on the top of her head, and Bart finally spoke. "Hey, she's still my sister. Let's cool it."

"Fine, I will for you," Terri muttered, not happy about it.

The barrage of anger was something Nelson was used to. He thumped a wet spitball straight at Sherri, who ducked right. Finally he said, "Whatever, you guys are biased." Nelson raised both hands. "Fine, I won't invite her."

"You would be better off taking her to some lame-ass art museum probably," Bart said, not exactly against his best friend dating his sister. "Or the Jazz Hole. Do something she wants."

Their banter was interrupted by Shauna, who returned carrying a massive, steaming hot try. A large thin-crust pizza took up the entire circumference, and some movement was required to make sure their drinks would not be in the way. It was perfect, the numerous kinds of cheese melting into a gooey, orange, and white puddle. The monster pizza glistened in the overhead lighting, the grease pooling between the toppings. Sausage links were arranged in a circle, shaped so they looked like intestines.

In a flash, the freaks tore into the meal like a pack of rabid bloodhounds. Nelson slapped two slices on top of each other, creating a crude sandwich, while Bart rolled a single slice up like his dad always showed him and effortlessly swallowed the whole thing. Sherri and Terri opted to cut their slices into squares before shoveling their pieces into their mouths. Finally, Jessica preferred the more traditional way of enjoying pizza, holding it in her hand and keeping her dignity.

Through a combined effort, the whole thing had been consumed in less than thirty minutes, nothing left on the tray aside from a few blotches of tomato sauce and grease. Satisfied, Bart placed a hand on his stomach and sighed. "Luigi always delivers."

"I am as full as a tick," Nelson declared, adjusting the belt around his waist. He yawned. "So… dessert, anyone?"

"I'd die if I ate another bite," Jessica said, having technically eaten the least of everyone, but the sheer amount of calories made her restrain herself. She quickly peeked again to see if her parents had left yet, and when she saw they remained, groaned. "Gah! Why the hell are they suddenly fun?"

Hearing her exasperation, Sherri gently poked the girl's cheek. "Maybe they were always fun, and pretending to be stuck up religious fanatics." With a mischievous glint in her eye, she then asked, "There is one way to test it. Wanna make a proper scene?"

The two schemers whispered, debating their options. While they did, Terri's eyes flitted to her boyfriend. "Hey."

"S'up," Bart said, glancing down at her. He had gotten distracted by counting the cracks on the ceiling.

Worming her hand into his below the table, Terri asked. "Wanna skip class tomorrow? It's been a while since you've practiced sketching."

It was a recurring date of sorts, drawing in his childhood tree house. Usually, they tried to once every few weeks so Bart could improve his skills. Though, his easily preoccupied nature meant Terri often had to be the one to remind him. However, this time, he had a different idea. "If we skip, why don't we head to the mall and do some shopping?" His heart felt queasy as her face lit up. "You were talking about wanting a new outfit. Bound to be some good discounts on something properly spooky."

Terri happily shook his arm. "Yeah! Let's do it!"

"Ooo, a date," Nelson interrupted mockingly, causing them both to look at him. "What are you gonna do, Bart? Sit around while she tries on a thousand different outfits?"

His attempt at teasing them was undone instantly when Bart said, "Well, how else would I show I care about her interests?"

Nelson opened his mouth, raising a finger, which he then immediately retracted, not able to respond. He did not need to, because Jessica declared, "Yes! Let's make a scene!" She shot up and promptly regretted it when she slammed her knee into the bottom of the table.

Glasses rattled, and unused silverware clinked together. Taking his chance, Nelson laughed. "Haw-haw!" Jessica fell over onto Sherri, clutching her wounded knee and cracking a smile as she cried about her funny bone.

"Aw, poor baby," Sherri said, fighting back a smile as she rubbed her girlfriend's arm. "We'll have to let them win this one."

A few more minutes passed before Shauna returned and cleared the table. True to his word, the meal was free, and after some light conversation, the freaks tipped fifteen dollars, then headed out through the kitchen.

The asylum was a straight shot North on Elm street, closer to their rival city Shelbyville than Springfield. As the cadre passed through the square, the sun was setting, and with it, locals were getting into the spirit properly. Even the old lemon tree had been dressed up with several ghosts hanging from its sturdy, barren branches. Peering out of her window, Sherri saw the full moon taking shape as they bounced along, commenting, "Going to be a mad moon tonight," as wisps of cloud passed over its surface.

"That's reassuring," Bart said, stroking his girlfriend's hair as she rested against his thigh. A car in the oncoming lane lit up the cabin and passed them. Trees on each side of the road seemed to stretch out like they were attempting to grab the car. "You sure it isn't smarter to just sit in the treehouse and tell scary stories?"

Jessica turned to look at him. Taunting with her cat-like eyes, she smiled smugly. "What's the matter, Bart… chicken?"

"Not at all. Just don't want to tempt fate," Bart said as they left the glow of the streetlights behind them. "That's more your department."

"Whatever do you mean? I only tempt men with poor self-control," Jessica said, adjusting the straps of her costume.

Nelson flipped on the high beams, one of which worked, and mumbled, "Really in the sticks now."

Terri pushed herself into a sitting position, fluffing her hair. "Has to be. The authorities wanted to build the place as far away from the town as possible."

"They were concerned the anguished howls of the inmates might disturb the peace," Sherri chimed in, her attention caught by a deer darting into the bushes. At least, she thought it was a deer. "The prison was getting crowded, so at some point they started dumping violent offenders off at the home, too."

Wary of the twins' penchant for tall tales, Nelson scoffed, "Uh, huh. I thought it was a women's asylum."

He eased his foot off the gas, trying to see where the dirt road Shauna mentioned was, prompting Jessica to chide, "Come on, Nelly. Why are you driving like my grandma?"

"Shut up. If I'm going to die, I'd rather not be in the same car as you weirdos." Nelson snapped back, pressing down on the acceleration again.

Sherri snickered. "You know you love us. We are partners in crime, after all."

Nelson leaned into his seat, keeping one hand on the wheel. "No, what I know is that I haven't slept easy since you two started with the ghost stories. Maybe Jess, Bart, and I should find a nice padded cell for you."

"Too late. Our parents tried already," Sherri sneered, holding onto her girlfriend. "We were simply too crazy."

Jessica felt differently about the joke, pouting. "Besides, how could you even suggest that? Without Sherri and Terri, things would have been so boring." She stroked Sherri's knuckles. "Social suicide was totally worth it. Right, Bart?"

"Man, bold of you to assume I ever had a social life," Bart said, leaning forward to give her a low-five. He gestured with his head at the driver. "Dad here is just grumpy that true love comes in sets." They turned onto a gravel road, the sound of rocks popping against the metal below making it difficult to concentrate. He glanced at Terri. "You sure there isn't a third Mackleberry sister hiding somewhere? A dork, preferably, since that is Nelson's type."

His question prompted a strange reaction from the twins. Terri tittered nervously, her eyes darting away abruptly. "Heehee, don't be ridiculous, babe. The girls in our family come in pairs… ehehe."

"That said. If you ever happen to meet another girl who looks a little too similar to us, do not speak to her under any circumstances," Sherri added, frightfully serious. So much so, she entirely killed the mood. Realizing she came on too strong, she coughed, "If. There isn't a third, never was."

Nelson side-eyed her, their reaction making him uneasy. "Right… Sure." He clicked on his high beams a second time, making sure he did not hit a tree or an animal as they bounced along. "It doesn't matter, though. I wouldn't be caught dead dating a Mackleberry. The men in your family don't live very long." He looked into the hanging mirror. "Seriously, Bart, you should be careful."

Slightly offended at his implication, Terri protested. "They only don't live long if they are mean or don't respect tradition. Grandpa Larry is still alive and a huge sweetheart." She touched her boyfriend's cheek. "Bart is going to be just fine."

"Wew, that's good to know. I am far too handsome to die," Bart said, wiping his brow sarcastically.

Nelson moved his foot to the brake, slowing the car as they went over a hill and were greeted by bright lights and a throb of bass shaking the car's frame. Impressed, he said, "Looks like this is it." There was a rectangular wooden sign that read Springfield Home for the Criminally Different. Parked all around it were cars, so Nelson pulled between a blue pickup truck and a gray SUV. The condemned asylum stood nearby, overgrown with vines, its broken high windows doing nothing to hide the rave inside. Roof shingles hanging off the edges of the building and cracked walls showed it had not been maintained in more than a few decades. An ominous aura hung over the whole place, despite the enthusiasm of the dancing partygoers. There was a mass of wires, red, blue, orange and green, leading through a hole in the structure's side. A kid from their grade, the sickly Wendell, stumbled outside through the front door, promptly puking into the bushes.

The air had chilled as the freaks stepped from their vehicle. Bart bobbed his head to the electronic beat. "Now this is what I call a party!"

"No shit. Kearny doesn't—" Nelson said, interrupted when a shadowy figure wearing a straw sack on its head leaped from the bushes to grab him. The teen startled, instinctively jerking an elbow into the assailant's stomach.

Groaning, the figure crumpled to the ground. Hearing a few Yiddish words, Bart asked, "Dolph? That you?"

Dolph, another graduate of their High School, laughed and tugged off the cheap scarecrow mask to reveal a brown head of hair. He sat up and exclaimed, "Dude, Nelson, you scream like a girl!"

His pride bruised, Nelson's nostrils flared and he shook a fist. "Do it again! Next time I can stab you instead!" A semi-serious threat, owing to the fact he always carried a switchblade on his person for protection.

"Whoa, easy!" Dolph said, hopping to his feet. He hastily brushed the dirt from his pants and fixed the loose straw poking from several tactical holes in his costumes. "Save it for the goat sacrifice later."

Intrigued at the notion of some ritualistic practices, Sherri grinned, baring her white teeth. "How exciting. However, I'd recommend caution… the red-wing prowler lurks in these woods."

The local cryptid was one of many and well-known to Terri, who giggled creepily. "Bright lights and music might be enough for it to crash this party."

Upon realizing who they were, Dolph clicked his tongue. "Oh, it's you two." He waved his hand, disinterested in their claims. "If I see any prowler, I will feed you creeps to it first."

Nelson did not like his old friend's tone and slugged him. "Shut up, dingus. They're with me."

"Ugh," Dolph groaned, rubbing the new sore spot above his elbow. "Right, I forgot you had gone soft."

Stepping between the two before a fight could break out, Jessica turned on the charm, a proper seductress. "Come now… There is no reason to be getting into a dick-swinging competition …" She smirked, placing a finger on Dolph's chest. "But I assure you, you'd lose."

Bart lost his composure, cracking up at the thinly veiled insult. Dolph glared, resisting the urge to smack her. "Right, 'cause the town bike is a good judge of size."

"Good one, very original," Jessica retorted dryly, having embraced her infamous reputation a long time ago. She got right into his face, "Don't be jealous cause you never got to take a turn with the pastor's perfect daughter… Though I doubt you would be even half as creative as Shauna."

Bart leaned over, whispering to the twins, "Oh my god, she's going to kill him."

"Isn't she amazing?" Sherri sighed wistfully, putting her hands over her heart, enjoying the show more than she wanted to admit.

The spat continued for a few minutes until Dolph realized he could not match her sharp tongue and held up both hands defensively. "Alright, alright, you win." He gestured with his head toward the asylum. "Do you guys want a tour? Not much to show, but a bunch'a freaks wandering around is bound to scare off the guests."

"Please, give us the grand tour," Jessica said, holding a hand toward the door. "Trust me, we will liven the place up."

"She says that… God, I hope not," Terri said quietly as they walked into the building. They were greeted by cracked, faded black-and-white tiles caked in dust on the floor. A ceiling with suspicious brown stains and broken light fixtures was above, and a staircase leading to a second floor where a steel gate was visible, separating the wards. The music grew louder, the bass shaking loose some drywall.

Dolph stopped, putting his hand on the railing. "Whatever you do, stay on the first floor! Anything above might not be structurally sound!" He stepped away, going toward a set of steel double doors, which he pushed open, revealing the cafeteria where the main event was being held. It was a proper light show, a strobe flashing to the beat; red, green, and orange lasers shooting up from behind the deejays. Kearny and his son were hard at work, spinning records in front of a packed mosh pit. Masses of bodies, some adults, and some students from their school, were dancing in the middle.

Impressed by the show, Bart grabbed hold of his girlfriend's waist, "Wanna dance?"

"With you? Absolutely," Terri said sweetly, touching his cheek. Together melding into the mass of grinding sweaty bodies.

As they squeezed between a dancing couple, Bart accidentally bumped against a girl with shoulder-length platinum blonde hair. She was out of costume for the evening, wearing a jacket over an orange and red dress. The suddenness of which she stopped to stare at him made Bart pause. He saluted. "My bad, dude," before turning away to enjoy Terri grinding against him. The sensation of something moist followed by a quick prick at the base of his neck caused Bart to slap away what he assumed to be a bug. "Ouch…"

Sherri and Jessica soon joined the fun themselves, leaving poor Nelson standing awkwardly by the door, his hands in his pockets. He groaned, rolling his eyes. He glanced at Dolph and asked, "You got any grass? Might as well try to enjoy tonight."

His former accomplice reached into his pocket, grinning. "Of course, bro. What kind of host do you take me for?" He revealed a plastic bag, holding some green buds and papers. "Primo stuff. Richard needed to pass on his supply in a hurry."

"Well, at least with your ugly ass… I know what I'm getting," Nelson said, completely losing sight of the rest of his friends. "Let's keep it below the waist so I don't have to look at you."

"You know I'm beautiful," Dolph said lightly as he revealed a freshly rolled joint. Trying to raise his voice, he squeaked, "I can be Lisa for you, baby."

This time, Nelson opted to punch him in the stomach. "Shut up." Laughing, they went back outside to 'guard' the door from possible party crashers. For the freaks on the dance floor, the next hours were a blurry haze of erratic movements, noise, and flashing lights bright enough to dull the senses. Without taking any special pills, Bart felt like he was floating on a cloud. The room became one big blob, and at some point during this, he blinked, surprised to find himself pressed against the blonde girl from earlier.

He tried to object to the change, but she smiled, putting her arms on his shoulders and leaning closer. She whispered, "My name is Jenda…"

Terri found herself alone in the middle of several people she did not recognize. Confused by the abrupt change, she pushed out of the mosh pit, trying to find her boyfriend. She did not see him anywhere, which caused her to puff her cheeks as anxiety took hold. Her gut churned as a discomforting thought gnawed at her brain. Namely, she could not remember being separated at all. Everything was hazy—one minute Terri was shamelessly grinding against Bart, and the next she was alone. Something was not right, that was for certain. Feeling disoriented, she stumbled over to one of the windows and sat on the seal. She could feel a cool breeze on her back, which helped clear her head. As if aware her other half was in distress, Sherri pushed through the crowd and came over. "What's up?"

Growing ever more anxious, Terri bit the side of her cheek. "I… I lost Bart." She was used to his tendency to be easily distracted, and as a result, wander. However, something was different about the current predicament. "I swear I was just with him. Now he's gone."

"No reason to worry. I'm sure he's fine," Sherri said, tying the sleeves of their costumes together. It was a comforting ritual, as the two girls liked to be together. Once secure, she stood on her tiptoes, looking across the sea of bouncing heads. "You know how he is. Like a magpie. Sees something shiny and has to go touch it." She squinted, catching sight of a familiar head of swooped blonde hair, "Bingo …"

She trailed off abruptly, causing an apprehensive Terri to follow her sister's gaze. A lump formed in her throat as she watched Bart be led away by a platinum-blonde stranger. Anxiety settled in her gut as an initial sense of disbelief struck her. Bart was being led away by some blonde stranger. Her gut reaction was disbelief, anger, upset—a " how dare he! " was already forming in her throat, but she swallowed and stopped herself. She had plenty of insecurities, but she, at the very least, knew her boyfriend. Bart, the boy who asked her out, who supported her individuality unconditionally, who she had a crush on since, like, kindergarten, would never ever cheat on her. He was many things, but adulterous he was not. The anger, sudden as it was, had been replaced with concern. She exhaled sharply and tugged on her sister's arm. "Bart's in trouble. C'mon!"

She dragged Sherri along, who exclaimed, "Wait! I gotta tell Jess—" It was too late. She was already being pulled toward the strange girl, the two of them turning right at the top and disappearing from view.

Bart's head was swimming. He was struggling to see straight as a firm grip on his hand tugged him along impatiently. The surrounding walls were melting as he tried to focus on not tripping over himself. An intense buzzing at the front of his head only made him feel dizzy. Weakly, he mumbled, "Did… Did I pop a molly or something?

"No, silly," Jenda answered, pulling her prey into a nearby patient room. Rows of rusted metal cots on either side, peeling paint, and leather restraints hardly made it feel cozy. She pushed Bart onto one of the nearby cots. "You're high on love, baby."

Bart groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Love… is for squares," he muttered, blinking to clear his vision. As soon as the words left his lips, he chuckled. Talking to himself, he continued, "Well, you might be right… 'cause I love Terri. She smells like… grape jam. Not the cheap kind either—like what Apu sells. Nah, she smells like the- the packets in Krusty Burger's breakfast special." He was so caught up in rambling, he hardly paid any mind to the tentacle-like shadows slithering around his feet in the blue moonlight. Oblivious to Jenda's displeased expression, he continued to list of things he liked. "Sometimes when she laughs, she snorts like a piglet… Then there was this one time we went to see Space Mutants Seven, and she jumped. I had to pick popcorn out of my hair the entire day."

His nonsensical stream of consciousness meant nothing to Jenda, who was interested in something else entirely. Ignoring him, she smoothly locked the door to the room and sauntered back toward the target. "There… now no one will disturb us."

"Did I mention she smells like grape jam?" Bart asked, repeating his prior statement. "Terri is the reason I eat grapes now. And man, lemme tell ya… is she good with her hands. I fell in love the moment she picked the lock on the utility shed near the sports track." He laughed again, "I didn't even need the bolt cutters… I made the whole thing complicated." Bart froze, feeling hands on his shoulders, and looked up confused. "Where is… Terri? I was gonna to ask her to prom."

Jenda sighed, growing increasingly annoyed by his antics. "She is busy. But she told me to take good care of you, Bart Simpson."

Bart blinked, puzzled by the alien face staring down at him. "That doesn't sound like her. We were going to split a whole bag of grilled gummy worms tonight… maybe get super high." He fell silent, but before she could say anything, he spoke, "… It's nice, you know? Having one person in my life who doesn't think I am a total loser."

His limbs were becoming heavier, like his bones had been replaced with lead. Jenda rolled her eyes, annoyed by his clear obsession with the other girl. "I will tell you what is nice—me and you right here. Making this a special night."

She straddled him, causing Bart to fall onto the uncomfortable, jagged cut. Still not realizing the danger, he said, "I'd like to keep talking about Terri. She had a crush on me since fourth grade, according to Sherri. Isn't that sweet? It embarrasses her for me to tell people…"

While Bart continued to be the most difficult victim imaginable, Sherri and Terri quickly checked the doors lining the dilapidated hallway. The lack of a good light source made it a challenging task. There was an office near the cage where a guard might sleep and a padded cell that was empty aside from a chair in the corner. As they walked, a rat scurried away, scared by their sudden appearance.

Finally, they reached room 213. Inside, Terri saw Jenda sitting on top of Bart through the dirty window. "He's over here, Sherri!" Her eyes widened as she wiped away some of the grime and saw a bulbous lump moving across the blonde girl's back. A single insect-like segmented leg poked through the cloth, touching the floor. "Shit!" she exclaimed, jimmying the knob, finding it locked.

Thinking quickly, Sherri reached for a corroded pipe running out of the floor and up the wall. "Here, give me a hand!" She was joined by Terri, and the two of them pulled it free, fortunately, free of water. On three, the twins jammed it just above the lock on the door.

Finally snapping free of his dream-like state, Bart was unnerved to hear a droning violin playing in his right ear. His eyes darted around erratically as he gasped, "Wha—" Seeing Jenda on top of him, he shoved her back. "Hey, get off me! Myers has a date with a swell gal!" He rolled off the bed, putting as much distance as he could between them. Trying to be diplomatic, he held up a hand. "I'm really flattered, but you got the wrong idea, dude."

"Interesting… You are more resilient than we were told," Jenda said, a long forked tongue flicking from her lips. A sharp crack was heard as she advanced closer. "No matter… Let's have some fun."

Bart watched in horror as her head flopped limply to the left, a red fissure forming from her chin to her hairline. He sighed in exasperation, "Of course…" Louder, he tossed his hands up, "Why would I think we could have a normal Halloween?!"

Jenda's form twitched some more, splitting into separate halves. Viscera and bone were visible within the newly formed glistening shape where her body used to be. A set of pearly white teeth lined the edges of the gaping, fleshy maw as a wriggling tongue snaked out from within, coated in a thick layer of drool.

It did not take a brain to know he was about to be something's dinner. Bart looked around him for anything he could use as a weapon, or at the very least, a barrier. He saw an ancient IV bag stand laying on its side, and dove for it just as a glob of foul-smelling green bile was ejected from Jenda's throat.

It splattered against the window, melting the glass with a light sizzle. Jenda jiggled, a grotesque wet cracking sound emitting from her as her limbs shook. The pustule on her back burst, wet gray sludge spewing forth, allowing the segmented ant parasite to throw away her jacket to reveal the second half of her form. Bart heard a loud clacking sound as it staggered toward him. He grabbed the steel pole and braced his stance as she impaled herself on it. He grunted as she pressed forward, tearing the skin against its rough surface. "Seriously, dude! I am not worth eating!"

As he ducked underneath a swipe from insect legs, Sherri and Terri pried the door open. It slammed against the wall, and they rushed to assist. Using all four hands, they brought their primitive weapon straight down to the center of what was once Jenda. It squished against the raw flesh but seemed to have some effect, so they did it again. They jammed the pipe through a thin-looking piece of skin, tearing through to the other end. Sherri and Terri grimaced in disgust. "Hurk!"

Jenda knocked them away effortlessly and tore itself free of the IV stand. Jumping over the cot, Bart proclaimed, "T, I swear! It's not what it looks like!" His adrenaline was pumping full throttle, and when the monster grabbed hold of his foot, his head bounced against the floor as he fell flat. "Ouch! Motherfuck—I prefer a girl who wants to take me to dinner! Not have me for dinner!" He declared, kicking at the skinless slender hand clinging to his ankle.

"Good thing you told me! I'm going to have to change our Valentine's Day plans!" Terri shouted in response, as she and her sister used the pipe to hit Jenda's arm; at least, they hoped it was an arm. The metal connected, a snap echoing through the room as it splintered the bone on the first strike. Four more heavy blows, and the flesh recoiled with a wail as it retreated toward the adjacent wall.

Terri helped Bart stand, and Sherri paled as the formless Jenda shed the last of its skin. The yellow rubbery organ slapped on the floor like a discarded wet t-shirt. A roiling mass of muscle, teeth, and a tongue faced them down.

Entirely oblivious to the harrowing fight going on the upper floor, Nelson took a long drag on the rest of the joint he was enjoying. He felt lightheaded as the sound of the bass inside the party thrummed along his back where he lay. Staring at the twinkling stars overhead, he said, "I tell you, bro. Everything changed when I got into high school."

Dolph had already graduated and was nursing a regular cigarette. "Uh-huh. Nothing changed. You just started to hang out with those freaks." He flinched involuntarily, expecting to be slugged again. When it did not come, he looked over. "How's your mom?"

"Fine. Qualified for a nice rehab," Nelson answered vaguely, taking another deep toke off the joint. White smoke drifted into the air above them. "What d'you got against my friends, anyway? They're alright… Little weird, I guess, but they never hurt anyone."

"You serious?" Dolph asked, baffled by the question. When he received no response, he started to list off facts about the rest of the freaks. "Jessica is such a nympho her dad had to lock her in some reformatory boarding school. Bart is okay. Bit slow, but uh, we beat him up for a reason." He paused, surprised Nelson was going to let him keep talking. "And those… Mackleberry twins." Dolph shivered, thinking about their pallid faces. "They're something straight out of The Shining or a circus. Always together, like clones."

He was mostly regurgitating old rumors about the freaks. The assessment was glaringly inaccurate, and Nelson shrugged stiffly. "Sounds like you don't know them at all."

"Oh, forgive me then. Please enlighten me," Dolph said with an exaggerated eye-roll as he chewed on the tip of the cigarette. "What exactly do you know that I don't?"

"For one, they aren't judgemental assholes," Nelson said, feeling uniquely defensive of his crew. He usually partook in making fun, when an opportunity arose. "And we've had fun together… Lots of weird shit to find if you're willing to go looking."

Dolph was not sure what that exactly meant, and never got an answer—the sound of leaves crunching underneath someone's foot caused them to look up. Jessica had left the asylum and was walking over. Standing at the front of the car, she gave a quick wave. "Yo."

Hearing she was alone, Nelson sat up. "Hey… Where's everybody?"

Jessica rubbed both arms, shivering in the cold. "I, um—I'm not sure. Sherri noticed Terri was alone, and then I lost them."

"That doesn't sound good," Nelson muttered, hopping off the car's hood. He reached into his jacket for his knife. "What d'you wanna bet they went upstairs?"

"One hundred percent," Jessica said, turning to study the building. "I got a bad feeling just walking by the stairs."

Even more confused than before, Dolph cocked his head forward to look at them. "Could you guys maybe loosen up a little? It's a party. They're probably having fun."

"I wish it was that simple," Jessica said as she and a well-baked Nelson left to head back inside, both wearing grave expressions.

Dolph sighed in exasperation, leaning onto the windshield again. There was a reason pretty much everyone avoided the freaks, and it was not because of their delinquency. He took a few more puffs on his cigarette and frowned, realizing he had let his Nelson take the rest of his joint.

By some dizzying display of otherworldly agility, the thing once called Jenda had secured itself to the ceiling. Writhing tongue-like tentacles forced the three to take cover underneath one of the beds. The monster was a confusing mass of flesh and bone, and the lack of light in the room made it even more difficult to figure out what the hell it was. "So, uh… plan, guys?" Bart said loudly as the cot in front of them was tossed aside as the tongues searched for them.

Sherri was gripping her sister for security. "Succubi are usually more… docile. This thing is actively trying to kill you."

"Yeah! Tell me something I don't—" Bart began as he felt a familiar moist sensation on his leg, and was jerked from cover and dragged into the air. "Whoa, man! Please, not in front of the girls!" He used his crude weapon to bash at the very top of the tongue. It was a futile effort as Jenda opened her maw, intending to swallow him.

Sherri and Terri sprang into action. Using the pipe as a spear, they leaped upwards, jamming it into the center of the thing. Together they exclaimed, "Eat this!" as the piece of metal sunk into the grotesque form.

Another wail followed, and Bart was hurled through the air, smacking against the wall. He moaned, sliding to the ground. "Next time… Promise we're going to go to the movies instead." He checked for any lasting injuries and was relieved to find he had not been impaled.

Hearing the commotion, Nelson and Jessica sprinted into the room. The former took one look at the monster and flicked out his knife. "What the hell is that thing!?"

"Succubus!" Sherri and Terri answered, dodging another wriggling tongue as it attempted to separate them. "Protect Bart!"

"On it!" Jessica said, rushing to the boy of the hour's side and helping him stand. "Come on. You have had way worse."

Bart grimaced, the back of his neck throbbing. "Have I!? Even the poltergeist wasn't this angry!"

Taking advantage of the monster's distraction, Nelson stormed forward and, using his knife, managed to cut into one of the tongues before it could pull the pipe away from the twins. It recoiled, attempting to escape, and despite how gross it looked, he grabbed hold. "You aren't getting away, dingus!" He yanked, slashing until it was torn entirely off.

Jenda let out an agonized cry, losing its hold on the ceiling. In a flash, it fell, splatting against the floor. Everyone stared as the creature remained motionless, bubbling bizarrely with steam rising from its body. Leaning against Jessica, Bart gulped. "Did—did we get it?"

Curiosity getting the better of common sense, they crowded closer to their vanquished foe. Nelson knelt, poking at the edge of the goop being secreted from somewhere underneath the body. "I guess this could be blood…"

Suddenly, Jenda reanimated and shot forward, grabbing hold of Bart's neck. "We know who you are now, Bartholomew J. Simpson," rumbled forth from the chasm between the teeth. Then she became limp, flopping onto her back, dissolving like acid.

The gang was silent for a moment as they stared at the melted puddle on the floor. Terri carefully side-stepped the monster's remains and threw her arms around Bart. He gasped, surprised, but returned the embrace affectionately. When his racing heart subsequently calmed and he could breathe again, Bart said, "I… think I prefer your tongue in my mouth."

Even though the rest of the freaks groaned, Terri laughed, relieved. "Hah! I prefer demon sluts staying the hell away from my boyfriend." She leaned back, so they were face-to-face. "Honestly—are you okay?"

Aside from some scrapes, cuts, and a pounding headache, Bart shakily nodded. "Yeah, I think." He could tell she needed more, and given the circumstance he understood. "I'm alive, aren't I? You saved me."

Terri swallowed, glad he was still in one piece. Jessica knelt next to the burbling puddle, clasping his hands. "So… Bart. Mind introducing us to your out-of-town strange?" She resisted the urge to touch the sizzling fluid.

"It's not every day one encounters a succubus," Sherri muttered unhelpfully. She could only assume that's what it was, as it did not match anything else she knew of.

Bart ran a hand through his hair, trying to piece everything together. "Uh… She said her name was Jenda…"

"Jenda?" Nelson scoffed, wiping his knife on his jacket's sleeve. "What kind of stupid name is that?"

Remembering the prick from earlier, Bart touched his neck. "Actually… T. Can you look at this?"

Terri walked to his side and saw three small puncture wounds arranged in a circle near his shoulder. His yellow skin was swollen and red. "Sherri."

Her sister came over, and upon seeing the bite mark, grimaced in disgust. "Ewww. That looks infected."

Bart shifted uneasily. "…Crap, do I have an STD now? I really do not want another lecture about safe sex from Doctor Hibbert."

Still crouched near their defeated adversaries' remains, Jessica grumbled, pushing her hair out of her face. "Damn, and we forgot the cameras."

"Forget it. Bart needs a poultice," Terri said, helping her boyfriend walk toward the door. "It's probably not serious, considering she didn't eat you… I hope."

Sherri and Jessica followed them. Nelson lingered, asking nothing in particular. "Uh … Should we clean this up?" When he realized all his friends were already gone, he scratched his chin. "Alright. Leaving the weird sludge."

Dolph's enjoyment of the peace and quiet outside was cut short when the freaks emerged, and Jessica snapped, "Get lost, loser."

"The hell—" Dolph exclaimed as she roughly shoved him off the hood, and he hit the dirt. "What'd you do that for?"

He shut up when he saw Bart limping to the other side of the car with the help of Terri, who got him into the backseat before sliding in next to her boyfriend. Sherri hopped in on the other side.

However, Jessica stopped Nelson in his tracks. "You drive like my grandma and have smoked far too much."

Nelson opened his mouth to protest, but a tingling wave passed up his neck and he could only laugh at how right she was. He tossed the keys to her. "Lemme see how far you can push her."

Jessica smirked, sliding perfectly through the window despite her puffy dress. She revved the engine as he slid across the hood, getting in the passenger side, nearly tripping as he climbed in. The radio was flipped on, a punk guitar riff blasting from the speakers, as Jessica put the pedal to the floor. Mud flew everywhere as the car sped off into the darkness.

Dolph gawked wordlessly, then calmly stood, dusting his shirt off. "Bunch'a freaks," he muttered, heading back inside.

Speeding down the street, Jessica turned the radio volume down. "Okay, okay… succubus. That's a demon, right?" She swerved to the right, passing a car ahead of them. The lights from the town could be seen glowing in the distance.

Terri was busy keeping an eye on Bart's wound as he braced himself against the roof of the car. Her erratic driving was making him nauseous. Sherri was to his left, chewing her thumbnail. "Yes. A demon that feeds off the lust of men." She peeked at the boy next to her. "Though it does seem like Bart possessed no lust for her…"

Bart suddenly sat up a little straighter, proclaiming, "I told her that Terri has had a crush on me since fourth grade!" His girlfriend's cheeks flushed bright red underneath her makeup. "And that I wanted to ask her to prom."

His passionate declaration was just what Terri needed to hear. "Aww!" She made a heart with her hands, then hugged him tightly. "Yes! Yes! I'd love to go!"

Bart pushed his nose into her hair and mumbled, "Mmm, grape."

His single word caused everyone to look back. Jessica peered at him through the rearview mirror, feeling the need to remind him, "It said ' we know who you are now.' That means that thing was looking for you specifically."

"Yeah, sounds real bad," Bart replied, talking through a mouthful of purple hair. He was not actually trying to eat it, but could not bring himself to leave the comfortable location.

"Well, that explains why Bart was unaffected…" Sherri said, partially talking to herself, going through the obvious.

Nelson, who'd been rather intently staring at the road as he was coming down, astutely connected the dots. "Someone or something put a demon hit on Bart. Jenda was the one who found him."

Terri remained latched onto her boyfriend, turning her head. "This is also our first physical encounter with such a being." When Bart returned his face to its comforting hair nest, she giggled, pushing him back. "We got grape jam at home."

He leaned his head on her shoulder, shutting his eyes. "Good." Resisting his fatigue, he said, "First demon we find, and it wants me. I'm so lucky."

"Yeah, too bad. Hell will have to find someone else," Terri said, pressing closer as the car swerved again, bouncing into the air.

Sherri was still lost in her own world. She was jerked from it when Nelson reached behind the seat and thumped her leg. "Ow! Nelly!"

His actions resulted in Jessica reaching over, and flicking his ear. "Got him back for you, babe."

"Thanks," Sherri said, frowning now that her brainstorming was interrupted. "All I can think is, there has to be a reason a succubus would know Bart's name."

"We can worry about that later," Nelson said, glancing at his best friend, who understandably looked strung out. "Right now, he needs to lie down."

Keeping her eyes intently on the road, Jessica grumbled, "Happy fucking Halloween." She tightened her grip, knuckles white.

Secluded in the safety of the Mackleberry manor, the freaks dimmed the lights and pulled the curtains so it would look like no one was home. The twins' mother was already in bed upstairs, knowing they were having friends over. Exhausted from his encounter, Bart was sitting downstairs in the rumpus room, down in the basement. The shag crème-colored felt nice under his feet, as he sipped on a grape soda whilst sinking into a pink bean bag chair. The rabbit-eared television in front of him was on mute, playing a slasher marathon, but he was too busy staring at the ceiling to pay attention.

The soft pad of feet on the steps made Bart look up. Terri was wiping off her face paint with a hand towel. An antique Polaroid camera was hanging from her neck, and in her free hand was a glass jar with a blueish-purple gel inside. He smiled faintly. "So, what's the verdict? Am I going to become some kinda zombie, or are they avoiding me cause I smell?"

"It's good you can joke," Terri said, sliding onto her knees next to him. "Jessica and Nelson are getting drunk out back. Sherri is in her room." She placed the jar near the foot of the leather couch. "Come, let me get a picture for the archive."

They tried their best to collect adequate evidence—not so other townsfolk would believe them, but rather, in case there were repeat encounters. Bart complied, turning slightly to bare his shoulder. "Forward, aren't you? I did just get attacked by a demon. I don't know if I'm ready to pose nude."

"Snrk… Uh-huh," Terri snorted, taking a photograph with a soft click. The camera spat out a picture, and she checked it. "Congratulations, Bart. You are the first member of the Springfield Investigative Society to get their own case file."

"Please be gentle. I'm a good Christian boy," Bart said deadpan, using every fiber in his being to stop himself from laughing.

Terri gave him a mischievous look. "Oh, is that so?" She leaned closer, whispering, "Doubt it. I'm pretty sure we've done a few things that would suggest otherwise."

"Heh. Yeah… That was a fun weekend," Bart replied, bashfully looking at his feet. Maintaining a mostly stable relationship was one of the few accomplishments he treasured. He grew serious again, gesturing to the wound. "About this… Am I gonna have to worry about every girl I talk to now?"

Reaching back, Terri laid the camera and photo on the side table. "Depends entirely on why you have earned hell's ire. She unscrewed the jar, an aroma of roses rising from it. "Any ideas?" she asked, scooting closer to tend to his bite.

Bart flinched as the jelly was applied. "Should I be concerned?" It was sticky but provided a gentle cooling sensation and dulled the minor ache.

Making sure there was a fine layer over the welt, Terri shook her head. "Nah, it's manuka honey, crushed blueberries, sage and valerian. Old family recipe. Dey used to smear it on our scraped knees." She laughed at the thought. "It has ruined one of my favorite dresses, though."

"The pink one?" Bart asked, knowing she only owned one color. She gave him a coy look, and he sighed, sinking into the couch while taking care to avoid getting the jelly on it. "Would selling my soul upset the big man downstairs?"

The question caused Terri to become gravely serious, a concerned expression crossing her face. "You sold your soul?"

"When I was ten, to Milhouse," Bart explained as she put the jar on the floor. He scratched his head. "It was stupid, and I did manage to get it back." He smirked, the memory coming to him like a strange dream. "Had the craziest nightmare. You and Sherri were jumping rope in the most terrifying way possible."

"Teehee, my bad. That might have been when I was trying to cast an attraction spell." Terri smiled innocently, even if she was a little disappointed to learn her amateurish witchcraft had the wrong result. "But perhaps…" She puffed out her cheek, tapping it with a finger. "Hmmm. A third party observed the exchange and now feels cheated. That might explain Jenda's usage of ' we.'"

Bart's eyes flitted around the dimly lit room nervously. The dark had taken on a uniquely hostile quality, and he swallowed. "Right." His gaze finally settled on her, a presence that soothed his anxiety. "What should I do? Any old Mackleberry wives' tale about this?"

Terri exhaled, deflating her cheeks. "No. Bába Merri once met a pale-faced man at the crossroads. Even though she only asked for directions, she claimed to see him three more times in her life. He wanted her to sign her soul to him." Ashamed of her family's superstitious tales, which had gotten the twins bullied by other girls in the past, recalling them for others always made her feel a little uneasy.

Picking up on her discomfort, Bart adjusted his position so he could hold her hand. "Hey… You know I hate that face. There is nothing creepy about you or your family." He still felt a twinge of fruitiness while being genuine with her. It quickly subsided when she relaxed, reminding him that seeing her happy was all that mattered. "I would totally take your folks and their weird stories over my parents."

"To be honest, I would rather die than have your parents," Terri said before abruptly hopping to her feet. She gave him a look. "Wanna… eat those gummy worms?"

Getting an eyeful of her, Bart gave a low tone whistle. "Maybe I can get a taste of you, too."

"Ohohoh. I suppose that's one way to make sure you're okay," Terri feigned amusement. She ran her hands down each side of her robe."Well, Dark Lord Hastur would want a loyal disciple to conduct a proper dark ritual…" She laughed, nodding toward the table to his right. "Bong is under there. Light it up and we'll see."

She left and Bart leaned over the arm of the couch. There, a pink and purple bong was nestled against a panda teddy bear, its red tongue sticking out at him. He grabbed the bong by the glass neck, placing it in his lap. He frowned, realizing he did not have a lighter, and sat there defeated until Terri returned, a bowl filled to the brim with brightly colored gummy worms. Seeing the problem, she huffed. "Sherri didn't put my lighter back…" She handed the bowl to him and darted upstairs again, calling for her sister.

Bart helped himself to a handful of worms, smacking noisily as he turned up the volume on the television. Moments later, Terri was soon cuddling against him as they watched the title crawl start for the next movie, the aroma of marijuana permeating through every corner of the basement.

A cloud of smoke drifted into the kitchen, and Sherri rolled her eyes as she grabbed a can of Duff from the fridge. She made her way through the clear sliding door into the backyard. Seated on two lawn chairs, Nelson and Jessica were on their fourth cans each. They'd taken to swapping stories about the various encounters the group had over the course of two years: tracking Bigfoot in Springfield National Forest, a haunted shack deep in the badlands, a body dumping ground on the lonely stretch of Route 18, and most intriguing, the Capital City number stations.

"Remember this!?" Nelson said, pulling up his shirt to show off a scar near his belly button. He pointed with his pinkie while holding his drink. "Wasn't even that stupid ghost. I got it on the window seal."

Jessica shook her head, "Nothing compared to that bruise I got falling off the hill." She jumped as the door shut behind her girlfriend. "Hey, babe… Not going to brave the basement?"

Sherri sat on the ground between them, popping the tab on her can. "No, they're already smoking. What we saw tonight was less terrifying than the idea of seeing my sister naked."

"So, what's it like…" Nelson said, formulating the tasteless joke in real time, "watching yourself star in a porno?"

"Don't. Even," Sherri hissed, her eye twitching as she downed half a can of beer as fast she could to chase away the mental image. "That is so gross."

Jessica scooted lower, running her fingers through purple hair. "Something bothering you, love? Aside from Bart almost getting eaten."

A howling dog caused all three of them to jump, the alcohol doing little to calm their nerves. Sherri sighed. "It's hard knowing Terri is in love." She tightened her hold on the can. "Maybe I'm being selfish."

"She is your twin, babe. You care about her," Jessica said, pulling her girlfriend closer, appreciating the smell of grape jam that saved Bart's life. "Which is why I know you're happy. She's happy."

Sherri shifted, melting into the embrace. "I am… but we used to tell each other everything. Now she hides a duffel bag in the basement." Upset, she looked down at her lap. "It's not like I care…"

Nelson groaned. "Aww jeez, don't tell me this is what you're gonna bring up with Dr. Pyror." Considered at-risk youths for a variety of offenses, the entire group attended therapy as their elective after classes. Not by choice.

"Don't be silly. We've been working on a good story for Doctor Creep," Jessica replied, having made it a personal mission to see the therapist lose his license.

"Good. I was worried for a second we were being honest with him," Nelson said, taking another swig. Despite being harsh, he did not like seeing Sherri unhappy, either. With a sigh, he said, "Listen. Do you wanna know what she's doing?"

Sherri looked up at her friend. "Wait, you know?"

Nelson shook his head quickly. "It's not like that. I ran into them both while—" He gestured with his thumb backward. "Her and twinkle-toes still practice ballet together at the dance studio downtown."

Jessica gasped exaggeratedly. "Why on earth would they!?" She had been pressured into ballet lessons by her father and was kicked out after starting a fire on purpose.

"I dunno. Apparently, Bart can dance, or something," Nelson explained with a nonchalant shrug. "Guess he was worried I'd beat him up."

"Would you?" Sherri asked.

"Yeah, I was gonna. Until Terri asked me to reconsider." Quickly, he added, "Don't tell her I snitched." Nelson looked around wildly. "She mentioned an impotency hex."

Sherri gave the other girl a quick kiss, then said, "I won't. It's good to know she wasn't planning to elope without telling me."

Jessica pursed her lips. "Hmm. We will have to punish you, though." He looked atf her and she giggled ominously. "What? They trusted you with their secret and you spilled the beans."

"Because your girl here looked sad," Nelson protested, sticking a finger toward Sherri, who clearly did not know what her partner was thinking.

"Yes, quite a catch twenty-two. Don't worry, I'll going to be merciful," Jessica said, thinking for a moment before nodding. "Go check on them in the basement. If you do, the remaining beer is yours."

Nelson did not hesitate to get up. "Fair enough. You're on." He was a lightweight, and since he already had drunk two beers, staggered over to the glass door.

Sherri scratched her chin. "You know he won't make it down the stairs."

"Oh, I know. I'm taking you up on that offer to never get out of the car," Jessica whispered smoothly moving her hand lower.

A squeak escaped Sherri's lips, and she giggled. "You and Bart have been swapping tips again, haven't you?"

" Maybe…"

Nelson stumbled through the kitchen, unaware he was alone. He paused at the top of the stairs. Listening intently, he could hear whispering and bubbly laughter. Clouds of smoke drifted over his head as he shakily put a hand on the railing, prepared to see everything. Then the couch below creaked, followed by a louder thump which convinced him to avert his quest. Nelson spun around with a quiet, "Nope." He had seen Bart's yellow ass too many times already.

Unfortunately, Nelson found that Sherri and Jessica were also getting down to the same kind of business. He was not too mad, though, since it meant the rest of the beer was his for the taking. Eager to take the rest of the night off and sleep somewhere warm, he opened the fridge, grabbing the remaining six-pack. He found himself a spot in the living room. Plopped down in the recliner, he found the remote and clicked on the television. A satisfying hiss left his next can as he pulled a wool blanket up onto his legs.

Oblivious and fully clothed, Bart was spooning against Terri, who was shoveling another handful of gummy worms into her mouth. He nuzzled her neck, prompting her to say, "Stop—It tickles!"

"Nyum." Bart slid his tongue upwards from the bottom of her neck. She snorted, and he licked another wet stripe along her neck. "Hope you're ready to explain the world's biggest hickey to Sherri."

Terri wiggled against his embrace. "Nooo! You can't! I'm too pale!" A wave of warmth prevented her from escaping. Not going down without a fight, she weakly noodled her arms in the air. "Help… He's going to eat me."

Something about her pathetic tone caused Bart to lose it, and he belted out laughing, knocking his head into the back of the couch. "I should be saying that!" He was beside himself, clutching his sides breathlessly. "Hah… Hah." Regaining his composure, Bart gasped, filling his lungs. He gave her an affectionate squeeze, causing another burst of giggling, "So—Haha, okay… Seriously. You wanna go to prom with me?"

On the TV, a woman screamed as a chainsaw exploded through her stomach. The visual of intestines and blood splattering on the camera caused Terri to lick her upper lip morbidly. Finally registering his question, she snuggled into him. "Mmm… Yes." She paused, thinking. "But before that, there's one thing I want you to do." Flipping around so they were face-to-face, she stroked his cheek. "Teach me how to skateboard."

The request was surprising, or at least the weed made it so. Bart raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know you wanted to learn."

"You and Jessica make it look pretty fun," Terri said quietly, moving her hand, briefly brushing against his neck, which caused him to flinch. "Oops. My bad."

Bart shivered, glad he was too high to think too hard about his childhood trauma. "It's cool." He let her play with his bangs instead. "I can teach you, though. Who knows—we might have to bail in a hurry one day."

Terri rubbed her nose against his. "And it's something Sherri doesn't know how to do." They settled down, the sounds of terrified screaming from the television finally putting them to sleep a few hours later.