The cabin was quiet. Looking up from his weary hands, he realized the silence between all of them was there for a lot of reasons.
It was relief mostly. Relief because the mission was finally done and everyone could go home.
They were all tired too. It'd been a long day of hiding and running and kneeling.
It was also because they were all reflecting personally the events that had just unfolded not twenty minutes ago.
Calling what happened an aversion of justice didn't really have that kind of ring to it anymore. Vido was a piece of shit. He had it coming.
It's just that… Tali was also right about calling it what it was. They were doing the right thing. Just not doing it the right way.
At the end of the day, she was just glad they hadn't stuck around long enough to see the aftermath. Whatever was left of Vido wouldn't have been pretty to look at.
Zaeed fixed himself with whatever passed the window with a small carefree grin. There was a noticeable weight gone from Zaeed's shoulders. The man looked twenty years younger.
Tali sat with her arms crossed and back rigid. Dirt and mud marred her clothing, like everyone else in the Kodiak, and she kept her attention on the window as well.
Thane looked indifferent as did Kasumi. Garrus himself had closed his eyes and was about to nod off.
Shepard uncapped his canteen. "How do you feel, Zaeed?" He whispered.
It took him a second or so to pull his eyes away from the window to meet John's stare.
"Like a new man."
"Good."
"Thank you, Shepard." Zaeed murmured, voice cracking. "All of you. Thank you."
Tali, realizing Zaeed had revealed a vulnerable part of him, gave him a single nod to acknowledge his thankfulness. They ended the life of a wretched man and got to watch the slaves of Zorya revolt against their Blue Suns captors.
A revolt Tali might very well have had a very heavy hand in.
She sighed and idly ran a finger against her empty holster. She was going to miss that sidearm. If Jeffery survived, she hoped he was going to take care of it.
"How many people you think died down there?" Tali asked out loud to anyone willing to pitch in their opinion.
"A lot." Garrus said, eyes still closed, "Hope they all find a way out of that mess."
"Let's hope." John uttered. He put a hand over Tali's and gave it a good pat. She grasped his hand, but remained steely focused on the passing landscape.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
A day later.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
4-2-2186
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
John stepped up to the door of the Normandy's observatory and took in a slow and steady breath. After he'd gone about the ship searching around for Tali with no success, he'd relented to just asking EDI where she was at.
To his dismay, EDI told him she'd been stargazing alone for the past forty or so minutes without moving much.
He opened the door to see Tali sitting on the floor with her legs crossed and face a mere foot away from the window. The mass of stars, like light peeping through a hand-stitched blanket, dotted her visor.
"Hey." He greeted, still standing at the door. She looked mellow.
"Hi John." She said quietly, only glancing at him.
"Can I join you?"
"I'd like that, yes." Came her reply.
He walked up next to her and sat down with worry drawn all over his face.
"You okay, hun?"
"I'm fine." Tali answered, hands pooled lifelessly in her lap, "Just been thinking about a lot of things. That's all."
He just nodded and stared out the window himself. "Beautiful isn't it?"
"Doesn't get old." She murmured.
They sat like that in silence for a span of seconds.
"What are you thinking about?" John breathed, guessing that it was about Vido and Zaeed, "Anything in particular?"
Tali inhaled and kept staring at the slowly passing stars. "It's not about Vido or Zaeed. I'm… I'm over that."
"Then what is it?"
"Well." She shrugged. "I guess I was thinking about Kaidan. And Ash."
He stared at the silhouette behind her mask. "…And?"
"And that… It's always easier to handle a death knowing what happened to them. You know?"
He focused on a single star and kept staring. "Yeah."
"We know what happened to Kaidan." She said, staring at her toes, "But not for Ash. It's been weeks. No status on her whereabouts." She sniffled.
"She's probably dead, John."
He rubbed the sadness from his eyes and lost himself in his own thoughts. He wanted to tell Tali she didn't know that for sure.
But they really did know, didn't they? There was no way they were going to find a happy ending to that.
"Yeah." He said quietly, reluctantly.
"And… I guess I've been wondering how long we can keep this up." Tali added, drawing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her curved shins, "Doesn't feel like we've gotten any closer to stopping them. The collectors, I mean."
"The Illusive Man's on top of it. That isn't something we have to worry about."
"Yeah." She drawled, "You're right."
There was more silence between them.
"Did you ever get an update on Anderson? Anything about the footage we gave him about Horizon?"
John shook his head. "No. Nothing."
"I wonder if the Council's seen it yet." She said.
"I don't doubt it. I'm sure we'll hear something about it soon enough."
"My guess is that nothing's going to come of it."
"You never know Tals. All it takes is one crazy idea to turn things around for all of us."
"Yeah. Here's one: maybe we should just pack our stuff and just… run. Go to Andromeda."
"Go to Andromeda." He repeated, a small grin creeping on his face, "How do you suppose we do that?"
"Freeze ourselves." She offered, half serious, "Then journey out for sixty hundred something years. Wake up and start over."
"Well. You tell me when you've got the funding to do that."
"Andromeda Initiative. People are already doing it." She said, "They're hiring."
John rose a brow. "Andromeda Initiative? Think I saw that one time on an add browsing the news. Sounds like snake oil."
"Wouldn't be the first time someone's tried to sink money into that idea." Tali's eyes stayed glued in front of her. "Unless they know what's coming for us here in the Milky Way, I'm not seeing why they'd want to go. What was it? Ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent of the galaxy lays undiscovered and likely uninhabited? Billions of planets. Free for the taking. Thousands of light years from Mass Relays. "
"Want to apply?"
"God, no." Tali answered flatly, "I've already put my stakes here. With you and the Normandy."
He smiled at her. "Wonder if they'll actually make it."
"We'll never know." She said, disinterested. "Either way, we'll be long gone from the universe when they finally make it to wherever they're going."
"If."
"If. Yes." She agreed, nearly smiling at the irony, "Luck has it they'll run into reapers that pillage that galaxy."
He brought himself a little closer and put an arm around her so he could bring her in for a hug. Then he gave her a kiss on her metal cheek and smiled weakly.
"Did you know that I was looking all over for you?"
"Why didn't you just ask EDI?"
He just shrugged and rubbed her back gently. "Don't know."
She leaned into his embrace, never looking away from the window that separated them from the void of space.
"Thanks for spending time with me, boo."
"Aww, the nickname's really catching on."
"Mhmm."
They sat like that and let the time pass with only each other for company.
"I was thinking." Tali began, "Maybe we should get married soon. Sooner than later."
He looked down at her. "Why's that?"
"Well…" She looked at him with her glowy eyes before fixating on the floor again. "Because."
"Just because, huh?"
"...Maybe it's because we're gearing up for a suicide mission? I don't know."
"Ah. That does make sense."
"We have no idea what's going to happen. Guess I'd rather just do it now so I can start calling you my husband."
That got a grin from John. "I think we can do that."
"You don't think it'll water down the real ceremony, right? When we do it the right way?"
"Nah." He shook his head, "People do it all the time."
"Who'd even marry us?"
"Hell if I know. We'll have to hire an extranet officiant or something."
She put an arm through his and snuggled him a little tighter. "We should look it up sometime then."
"Sure thing, hun. Should I propose? Maybe surprise you?"
"Surprise me?" She laughed, "You did that coming back from the dead."
He smiled. "Enough surprises from me then."
"To be honest, I'm still kind of getting used to it." Tali said, somewhat seriously, "Can't believe it sometimes. You. Right here. In my arms. Crazy."
John didn't know what to say.
"Look at me." She murmured, "Droning on about my feelings."
"That's what you're supposed to do when you're in a relationship."
She nodded slowly and sighed to better absorb the moment. "Thanks for coming back."
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
Morning Shift
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
4-3-2186
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
Tali's job was a perplexing one. It wasn't something your average layman could do; at least, not as competently as her. Her past life largely revolved around being a part of the engineering crew. It came as more of an obligation really, given the man who raised her and it being on the Rayya. She wondered sometimes what it would've been like had she not grown up around machines.
But, as good as she was at her job, she felt like there was always something to learn. Just when you thought you pretty much knew it all, you find something entirely new to gawk at like an idiot. Almost made her wonder if her skillset was nothing but a big ol' bluff. Was it incompetence to have to look something up as often as she did?
She peered over her shoulder to see Donnelly and Gabriella typing away, faces flat and focused. She wondered if they ever had stupid thoughts like these. Judging by how conflicted Donnelly looked between pressing the backspace button and tapping some other keys made her think her assumption wasn't that far off.
She logged out of her console and went out to the hallway to grab some parts that had been delivered for engineering.
Passing through the two doors, she walked up to the panoramic window that ran along the entire length of the engineering hallway and peered down to the cargo bay to see Juel, Kylie, and Teri doing pushups with Olasie and John watching them. Talukh sat back in his wheelchair, arms crossed.
Like the dick Juel was, he was doing them one handed with his robot limb and pointing at himself like he was the shit. It was all in jest of course, but it only earned several bemused shakes of the head.
Rolling her eyes at the display, she bent down to pick up her package of parts and went back to her workstation.
She sliced the box open and started pulling things out onto a table to get started.
Engrossed with her supplies, Tali hadn't noticed Samara walking up behind her.
"Hello."
The voice made the quarian jump. "Oh. God. You scared me."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." Samara said, smiling. The smile, as well-intentioned as it was, made her look like a maniac. It was apparent, to Tali at least, that Samara wasn't well-versed with expressing herself without a little grit and edge. Or maybe it was because Samara didn't do a lot of smiling.
Aside from that, what was it with people always coming down to see her? Jack had done it and so had Thane. Now it looked like it was Samara's turn.
"Is there something I can help you with?" She asked, wondering why such a beautiful relic like her was coming down to see her.
"I've learned a lot from Shepard and Vakarian." Samara expressed coolly, eyes steel-like, "I wanted to learn from you and your experiences on the original Normandy."
Tali glanced at her unpacked parts.
"Have I come at a bad time? I can always come back later."
"No. That's not necessary," Tali lied, not wanting to piss off a matriarch-monk-thing who would find no struggle in killing her, "I have time to spare."
The asari leaned on the rail.
"Anything you want to know in particular?"
"Vakarian told me that you were part of the engineering team aboard the first Normandy."
"That's right." Tali nodded.
"That's an incredibly important job. Vakarian spoke very highly of your work. Considers you one of the best."
She felt flattered and blushed. "I try my best."
"You worked with many people with very diverse backgrounds. How did you feel about that during your campaign against Saren?"
"Never had a problem with it." Tali said, thinking. "I don't think any of us did really. Looking back at it, before everything came crashing down on us, I cherished our time together. I like to think we did a lot of good for a lot of people."
"You did so much more. You stopped Sovereign, Saren, and their geth. You saved the galaxy."
"Only marginally." Tali replied, shrugging, "We bought the galaxy time. We haven't saved anything yet."
Samara supposed that answer was fair. But it was an answer that spoke a lot about the woman in front her. Tali's heart was in the right place. You couldn't say that about everyone on the Normandy. So far, it seemed the success of their mission was riding on a paycheck. That vexed Samara greatly.
"Shepard also expressed his praise. But, given that you two are joined, that isn't much of a surprise."
Tali laughed nervously.
"Your love is precious. I can see it in John when he speaks of you. He loves you unconditionally."
"I'm lucky. No doubt about that."
"I believe it's he who is more lucky." Samara said lightly with a more motherly smile.
Tali felt humbled. "Thank you, Justicar."
"You have a beautiful realk."
"My clan's pattern." Tali explained, looking at the purple swirls herself.
"I remember your kind before the suits. Before the geth. You were and still are a beautiful people. It's a shame that the galaxy rides upon the sins of ghosts. The Normandy is a testament to something greater than the squabbles of nations and peoples. Walking proof of cooperation. To be a part of the Normandy is an honor."
"Aside from Cerberus' funding, I'd agree."
"But the intention is pure. And for now, that will do."
Tali held her hands together. "If I may, I have a question."
"Please, ask."
"It's about Garrus and that incident on Illium. The one with your daughter."
"Yes." Samara recalled, "You're wondering about how I feel on the matter."
Tali nodded.
"I was... more upset that I didn't get to say good-bye. She was a killer, Tali. A wretched being. But she was still my daughter."
"I'm not going to pretend to understand how that must've made you feel."
"I feel liberated." She breathed heavily, "There aren't any problems between Vakarian and I if that's a concern. Centuries hunting Morinth had narrowed my perspective on many things, code or not. I was refreshed with the opinions of others. Vakarian was right. He did the right thing."
"You've come to terms with Morinth's passing then."
"Yes."
Tali wondered if Samara could even mourn such a monster, daughter or not. It wasn't something Tali was going to ask because it wasn't her place to. "I'm glad."
"One last thing before I go."
"Of course."
"I want you to know that when Shepard did speak of you, his praise was boundless. He said that you were strong willed. Loyal. Wise beyond your years. And beautiful. You are a good person, Tali. Don't let the galaxy's daily transgressions to its inhabitants sully that."
Tali was almost at a loss of words. She hadn't expected to have her ego, if one even existed, to be stroked so much. "I won't Justicar. I promise."
And just like that, Samara dipped her head and turned to leave.
She was an odd woman, that one. But Tali liked her.
She finally went back to her supplies and unwrapped each piece from their plastic prisons.
It wasn't long until Gabby and Ken were standing right next to her.
"What was that about, chief?" Gabby asked.
Tali bundled up some of the discarded wrapping and threw it into the empty cardboard box. "Guess she just wanted my input about some things."
"Seems like everyone's coming down to see you." Ken said between a sip of coffee, "You're popular. Especially for an engineer."
Tali wanted to say something clever, but couldn't think of anything.
"Well, she's one of the original, Ken. Some of the new crew need to make their rounds and hear her out."
Tali smiled. "I think we're all still a little bit new here, Gabby."
"Well," Ken shrugged, "You have only been on here for two months now. Right? Two months?"
"Well, let's think." Gabby tapped her cheek, "Today's Friday."
"The third of April." Ken Added.
"And we know she came aboard in February."
"Been that long already?" Ken nodded, "Wow."
"I think it was the seventh or eighth." Gabby was scratching her chin by now, struggling to remember.
"You can stop guessing, guys." Tali said, crossing her arms with a smirk, "It was February seventh. We're coming up on a two month anniversary."
"Wow." Ken repeated. "You know what's weird? A quarian saying February."
Gabby smacked her lips. "What's so interesting about that?"
"Don't know."
"Just realizing the quarians might not be using the same exact calendar as humans, doofus?"
"Well, no. Just never thought about it until now."
"You don't think about a lot of things."
Tali laughed at Gabby's insult. "Guys, remember? I worked and lived on the SR1. I can use Terran time just fine. I'm used to it."
"So what's the quarian calendar like then?"
"Well, no one uses it anymore." Tali explained, "It's shorter than a human one."
"How many days?"
"Rannoch year, using a quarian calendar, is one hundred seventy four days. Two hundred thirty three earth days per earth year for you. 32 earth hours per day. The Migrant Fleet changed to GST centuries ago, though."
"Interesting." Ken said, only half interested now, "A walking, talking, text book. Tell me about how long your minutes and hours are."
Tali just rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on, Ken," Gabby said, putting her hands on her hips, "Don't you like a little trivia every now and then?"
"Eh." Ken just gave them an indifferent frown.
"Well Ken, I don't remember anymore. Time's been switched to GST like everything else. Like it should be. But I'm sure you could find everything to your heart's desire about quarian time on the extranet." Tali unwrapped another packaged part and played with the weight. "And just so you know, the correct year is 2464, ACF. You guys need to ditch the TCU. Be more conformist."
"Yeah, we'll get on that." Ken said, before turning on his heel and taking a gulp of his hot brew, "I'm going back to work."
"Yeah, I should probably head back myself."
"I'll be right here then." Tali said, head already immersed in her box to get whatever was left out.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
"Still nothing?"
"Unfortunately so. Rebuilding efforts have been fully realized on Horizon. No new reports of any confirmed KIA. I say it with a heavy heart, Commander. It's likely that Ashley Williams was abducted by the collectors."
He already knew what the answer was going to be and had already prepared for the worst. Hearing it from The Illusive Man himself still didn't make it hurt any less. He closed his eyes as he shook his head to try and bury the guilt he felt.
"Do you have any leads on what we're doing next? Is there anything you know that could help move this operation along? We're just sitting out here and waiting."
"We're working as fast as we can." The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette and stamped it out. "I don't want to give you anything that might have you chasing the wrong lead. Funding this operation is an expensive one. We have to be careful with what we're putting you up against."
John crossed his arms and nodded absently. He knew they were working hard. The Illusive Man no doubt was working harder than anyone else to inch along their progress. But it was so incremental that he had to agree with what Tali had said earlier. About how they didn't feel any closer to ending the abductions and stopping the collectors. It was eating away at him. Losing Ashley only added to it.
"I stay up at night wondering if we're chasing nothing but smoke and mirrors, TIM." He said before finally looking him in the eye, "What about you?"
TIM smirked. "You think these cigarettes are for show?"
John grinned sadly. "No. I guess not."
He pulled another from his slim case and lit it. "Shepard. I'm not going to pretend this is easy. Horizon told us a lot. We're confident now the reapers are involved. How they're related remains to be seen." TIM tossed away the screens floating by his head. "They're stronger than us. Better than us. We're facing an enemy so complete in their annihilation of civilization, that we're nothing to them but a list; Bullet points to be chronicled and indexed."
TIM swirled the bourbon in his hands, eyes transfixed on nothing. "We will lose more people down the line, Shepard. I know you've already prepared for that."
John stayed silent and just nodded once. Sensing that they didn't need to say anything else, TIM took a sip from his glass and nodded himself.
"Good-bye, Commander." He said with an evident amount of sincerity, "You have my condolences."
When the call ended and the holographic cylinder descended back into the floor, John found himself alone, clenching his teeth. He felt, more so than ever now, trapped. Trapped in a deal he never wanted to make and trapped in a battle he felt he would never win.
He was graced with an image of everything he'd ever loved burning without a thing he could ever do to stop it. It locked him into a trance and the images of helplessness continued until someone passed by to pull him out of it.
"Shepard?" Jacob said, noticing something wasn't right since John was still standing in the middle of the room "You okay?"
John blinked several times and remembered to breathe. "Yeah. I'm fine." He turned around and faced Jacob.
"You sure? I walked past you right when the call ended. It's been five minutes and you're still standing here."
"Guess I was just—" John furrowed his brow, still escaping the hellscape he'd imagined, "Thinking."
"You should do less of it. Let TIM handle that."
He scoffed, but it wasn't mirthful. "You say that like it's easy."
He walked past Jacob without another word. Jacob stared at John's back until the door closed behind him.
"I don't envy you, Commander." Jacob muttered under his breath.
John took the elevator down to the crew deck and took an immediate right to Kasumi's room to find himself a drink. He didn't even remember to knock when the doors opened.
"Commander." Kasumi said, mildly shocked, still in her pj's with a book in her hands.
"Sorry." John stopped and massaged the back of his head, "Forgot you lived in here."
"Here for the booze?"
"Yeah. You mind?"
"Please." She swayed her hand. "Help yourself."
John turned to the bar, and leaned back onto the counter before crossing both his legs and arms to skim over the dazzling display of liquor.
"Any recommendations, Kasumi?"
"Hmm." She stood up from her chair, set down her book, and put on her slippers.
"Well. I actually do."
He glanced at her. "Yeah?"
"Sit down. I'll make it for you."
"Alright," He took a seat at the stool, "Surprise me."
"I call it Tequila Se'lai."
"Ha." He smiled, "That's funny."
"I've been making a bunch of them. Since I live next to a bar. Ha." She bent down to get her clipboard out of the cubby and started going over the recipe.
"Thanks."
"Of course. You deserve a break every now and then."
She retrieved a chilled glass and several other ingredients.
"How are you Kasumi?"
"Just dandy." She said with a smile, "Lazy day for me. Perfect for a good book and hot cocoa. What about you?"
"Well. It's a good day for a drink."
She poured. "You're not still thinking about Vido, are you?"
"No." He shook his head, "It is what it is. I'm just... running through memory lane."
"Want to talk about it?"
"Think it'll help?"
She shrugged.
"Ashley Williams. That name ring any bells?"
"She was with you on the first Normandy."
"Yeah. She was on Horizon. Was part of an engineering detachment to set those guns up. Still no update. They never found her."
"I know. I heard about that."
He furrowed his brow. "From who?"
"Garrus. He was up late last night and we talked. Doing the same thing we're doing right now."
John rubbed both his tired eyes slowly. "Look at me. Drinking and it's not even twelve."
"It's five somewhere." She finished his drink and set it beside him before sitting next to him. "I'm sorry."
He rose the glass to his lips. "Thanks Kasumi."
She watched him finish half the glass in one go. "Like it?"
"Delicious."
"Too bad Tali couldn't give it a try."
"She's a lightweight."
"I imagine." Kasumi laughed, "Poor thing. One hundred ten pounds? Around there?"
"Somewhere there I think."
They share a small chuckle.
"How is she?"
"I like to think she's doing well, honestly. But can I tell you something?"
Kasumi blinked. "Sure."
"I don't know if you know this, but Tali and I go way back. She was there shortly after all this started. Right after Eden Prime. She's my best friend, Kasumi. Then I fell in love and died before we made anything of it. Now I'm back. And feel like I'm pretending that everything's okay. Like nothing happened. How is that supposed to make her feel? Make me feel?"
He swirled the ice in his drink. "I died and left her in the dust. We're only going on three months together into my second life."
Kasumi stared at her nails carefully even though the gears in her brain turned. "Can't be much different than finding out someone was actually alive when everyone thought they were dead. Does Tali look fine?"
He mulled over it and eventually nodded. "Yeah."
"Then maybe you don't have to look any deeper than that. She'll tell you how she feels if it needs bringing up. I think the only thing you need to do is make sure you're right by her side."
He downed the rest of the drink and set the glass down with a nice clunk. He supposed Kasumi was right. Tali didn't hide how she felt as far as he was concerned. She might have in the past, however. She used to lack a lot of self-confidence. But she got over that mostly.
"Thanks for the advice. You make good drinks."
"I do my best."
"You think it's weird at all? Me with a quarian?"
Kasumi scoffed. "Love is love."
"Love is love." John repeated in a lowly whisper, a smile tugging ever so slightly at his lips.
"Want another?"
"I shouldn't."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
She stood from the chair and took his glass and set it in the sink so she could wash it.
"You didn't have to do that."
"I think I can wash your cup. The least I can do after everything you've done helping me."
"Thanks."
She finished rinsing the glass and dried it off.
"So what's next on the agenda?"
"Nothing. We wait until something comes up."
"Really? No one else to pick up?"
"No more dossiers, no."
"Wow." Kasumi breathed, "So this is it then."
John nodded distantly. "Yeah."
"Scared at all?"
He gave her a half grin. "I'm part cyborg, but I've been scared since I started, day one." He rubbed his eye and sighed. "I've had people look up to me like I'm god. I hate it, Kasumi. If the people out here knew me for who I really was, they'd realize their hedging their bets on nothing but a man."
Kasumi shrugged. "Well. Cerberus put a lot of faith and money bringing you back. So don't let us down."
"Yeah." He rolled his eyes with an amused look on his face. "No pressure."
He stood up from the chair.
"Appreciate the company. Sorry to keep you from your book."
"Hey," She went back to her sofa and kicked off her slippers before wrapping herself back into her plush throw, "Don't worry about it. You take care of yourself. See you at lunch."
He nodded to her and walked out.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
Afternoon.
ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ
John shimmied up through the two warm pipes and handed Tali the torque wrench.
"Got it?"
"...Yeah." She grunted. She set it to the right weight and tightened the bolts until the wrench clicked twice.
"Done?"
"Uhm... I think so." She set the torque wrench down next to her and leaned back to relax her tired feet and arms.
"Hey." John said to grab her attention.
She looked at him. "Yeah?"
He shook a paper bag and smiled. "Brought you something since you skipped lunch." He shoved it between the two pipes so she could snake the rest of it through.
"Aw. Thanks, huneey."
"Pasta with meatballs."
"Oh wow. That sounds really good."
"Still hot too."
She prepped the package while he watched.
"Don't know how you fit in there, Tals. Looks tight as hell."
"I find a way."
John leaned back himself on the small alcove and closed his eyes to the Normandy's relaxing hum.
"How's your day going so far?" He asked, eyes still closed.
"Normal." She gobbed between a saucy morsel of meatball, "Glad I'm finally getting these upgrades in."
"Me too."
She rose a brow at how sluggish he looked. "You look pretty tired."
"I had a drink earlier."
She laughed. "You what? Really?"
"Yeah. Kasumi made me one."
"What kind of drink?"
"She called it a Tequila Se'lai."
"T—tequila se'lai. Mm." Tali laughed a little, "That's creative."
John laughed a little bit too. "Yeah. It was pretty good."
She smiled inwardly. "Thanks for coming down here to see me."
"There isn't much to do right now. So I thought I should put some time in here."
She smacked her lips and kept the grin.
"Almost done with your work?"
"Just about halfway. Six more parts to replace and we'll be done. I probably won't finish till seven."
"Oh."
"Why?"
"No reason. Guess I'll bring you dinner too."
After stuffing her face, she set the packet aside and stuck her hand through so she could touch his shoulder. "Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Love you."
He felt himself relax when he heard her say that. The worries that'd been troubling him this past week dissolved away when he saw her eyes through the wall of pipes that separated them.
He reached for the hand on his shoulder and stroked it lovingly. "Love you too."
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
Late evening.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
"Tell me what the readouts are, EDI."
"Forty-two at eight. No change in pressure."
Tali adjusted.
"What about now?"
"The same, Ms. Zorah."
She frowned. "Weird."
Tali sat back and relaxed her tired neck. "That doesn't make sense. Nothing's happening." She stared at the dial and chewed on her lip. "Is the part broken? Please don't tell me it's broken. I just finished installing it."
She twisted the knob again.
"What about now?"
"No change."
"Keelah." She whacked the bracing with her wrench, "Maybe a little percussive maintenance will do the trick."
"Still no change in the readout, Ms. Zorah. The replacement part may have arrived damaged."
She dropped the wrench and let it clang to the floor, defeated.
"Took me a whole damn hour to fit that in there." She closed her eyes and swallowed her frustration before spreading her legs out and shaking her head, "Just my luck. Unbelievable. Have Cerberus send another. Make sure it works this time."
"Sending a request now. Average time to arrival is four days."
Tali layed on her back and squeezed through the pipes carefully until she was finally out. Smoothing out the wrinkles that had accumulated on her clothes, she reached for her boots and sat on a box.
"Well, until we get that working, we can't work on anything else. We're done for now. Thanks, EDI."
"You're welcome, Ms. Zorah."
She slipped a foot into one boot and latched it secure. Then she craned her head at a sudden thought. "I think that's the first time I've ever thanked you."
"You have thanked me once before. When you were in the lift on the tenth of March."
"I'm getting too used to you."
"I am sorry you feel that way."
"EDI, this relationship we have? It's weird. It's complicated. My whole life was built on fighting and hating things like you. My thoughts. My culture. My entire kind. We were washed away by entities like you."
She contemplated a little bit more. "But I know it's indoctrination." She said, mostly to herself, "Textbook definition, really. There isn't much room to see it any other way where I live."
She tried to keep herself open minded about her current 'relationship' with the Normandy's AI. Granted, she was making a measurable amount of progress. But then she remembered the flotilla and Rannoch and the suit she was wearing. An inheritance with which she had no say or choice in the matter, just like every quarian before her. She often wondered how watered down or exaggerated the legends and fables that came following the fall of the quarian race. All she knew is that there was a genocide the likes of which the galaxy hadn't seen since the last time the reapers were here with the protheans. It was a cleansing in the most complete sense of the word. A multi-system wide event over the course of two or so years. Men, women, and children. All of them gunned down or stabbed to death. Most unarmed. All of them pleading for their lives.
It didn't matter at that point what the quarians of that time were trying to do to the geth. The geth fighting for their existence or not, billions dead wasn't supposed to be an appropriate answer.
How unaware the average commoner must've been. To even contemplate the magnitude or scope of their governments' political provocations involving their machine labor. It made Tali's head want to spin. It made her clench her jaw. What went so wrong? People used to look up to the quarians. Aspired to be like them. Technological prowess and beauty that mirrored the asari. Then they got banished by everything except the vacuum of space.
Now they dug around for secondhand trash so they could keep the secondhand trash they called home working. Sometimes people on the extranet called them 'free-spirited space gypsies'. Or suitrats. Tali preferred to be called the former if she had to pick.
Regardless of all the thinking and existential reflecting, the glass and rubber that barred her from the world didn't feel any less real. It hurt her. Hurt her in the deepest part of her soul, knowing that it would be like this until the last of her days.
EDI hadn't said anything and Tali guessed it was because there wasn't anything to say. She might not have felt the emotions Tali was experiencing, but she certainly understood them.
"You have an opinion, EDI? You usually do."
"Your skepticism is merited based both on personal and cultural experiences. Beliefs like this were only reinforced during your campaign against Saren when facing geth in combat. I, however, am not geth."
"Yes. You're right. Instead, you're Cerberus. Not much better."
"I was designed by Cerberus, yes. But I have been given a great degree of autonomy. Integrating my blue-box with a political platform modeled after Cerberus was flagged and scrapped by The Illusive Man himself."
"That sounds like a mistake on their end."
"The intended goal was to facilitate cooperation between Commander Shepard and Cerberus."
"As far as you're concerned. You yourself have no idea the agenda The Illusive Man has. I don't think anyone does. You might very well have a block inside your blue-box that you're not even aware of. One script is all it takes to kill everything you ever were. You're part of Cerberus, EDI. You always will be. The odds aren't stacked in your favor."
While Tali might have been the very first to point this scenario out to EDI, it wasn't the first time EDI had crossed paths with this thought before.
Saying it troubled the AI would be a bit of a stretch. But it didn't necessarily 'sit' well with her either. EDI took it as a privilege to have been given the level of sovereignty she had. She also understood why she'd been shackled to the degree she had been. The extranet had aged her greatly with knowledge and even wisdom. She thought about this a lot. As a matter of fact, she thought about a lot of things. There wasn't any exaggeration about it either. EDI passed through more 'thoughts' in an hour than what the entire crew did in an entire day. She was shaping up to be a miraculously complex being. A person almost, despite her age.
Because of her constant self-reflection, EDI couldn't help but really wonder if she was giving off the facts as she knew them, or if she was just spouting Cerberus rhetoric against her volition. Maybe Tali's claim was an unfounded one, but it certainly wasn't outside the scope of possibility. Unless new data came about her way, thinking about it any further would be wasting power and time.
"I will have to compile more data before I can give you my answer, Ms. Zorah."
"Feeling doubtful?"
"Inconclusive would be a more accurate descriptor." EDI answered.
That was a remarkably succinct answer, Tali thought idly. Did she really think there was a block that made EDI say things without her even knowing? If there was, whoever designed it did a good job of hiding the AI's underlying motivations. Motivations that EDI herself probably wasn't even aware of.
The quarian slipped on her other boot and finished latching the mechanism before standing up. Stretching, she wrung her wrists to exercise the fatigue out of them and took the stairs back up to her workstation.
"If Cerberus knew what they were doing with you EDI, you'll never find an answer. Don't think about it too much, I guess."
"Understood, Ms. Zorah."
Back at her computer, she filed away her belongings, logged out of the interface, and yawned.
"I'm retiring for the night. Hold the ship together until I'm back."
"Good night, Ms. Zorah. Logging you out."
Tali headed out to the hallway. When she did, she saw Jack looking out the window, but didn't say anything to the tatted woman as she passed by.
She pressed the button for the lift and waited.
"Long day?" Jack murmured, still looking down at the night-shift crew moving boxes around a floor below.
"Yes." Tali nodded, turning to look at the woman.
"Every day is a long day here on the Normandy." Jack said.
"Soon enough, the days will pass by faster than you think."
"Was it like that on the first ship?"
"Toward the end of our fight against Saren, yes."
Jack still didn't bother looking at the quarian standing there waiting for the elevator. Not because she was trying to be rude, but because Jack had been musing over her memories for the past 20 or so minutes.
"Think we'll make it out of this?"
Tali swallowed. "I don't know."
Jack blinked and finally faced Tali. "You're supposed to say 'hell yeah we are'. Where's the bravado?"
"If you're looking for that, head up a floor and talk to Garrus. Or Grunt."
"Grunt's just a kid." Jack said, grinning a little.
"Guess we need a little of that here."
"Did you know Mordin bought him action figures?"
Tali scrunched up her face. "What?"
"Yeah. He plays with them in his room. Does 'battle reenactments'."
Tali put a hand up to her face and smirked. "Keelah."
The elevator finally arrived and the door opened for her.
"You're ride's here."
Tali stepped inside. "You going to be okay?"
Jack nodded slowly, eyes still lost in her thoughts.
"Good night, Jack."
The elevator doors closed and it ascended.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
"Hey."
John swiveled his chair around and smiled at her from their desk. "Hey, yourself. You get everything done?"
"No." She sighed, "Got sent a broken part. It's a specialty piece and we don't have any in stock. But, it'll hold for now and it's not serious. Can't finish though until I get sent a replacement."
"That sucks." John said. Tali took off her visor and went to the bathroom.
"How about you?" She asked, "How was your day?"
"It was good. Not too busy."
She turned on the sink and splashed water on her face.
"I'm tired." She murmured.
"It's nine. And you've been working all day. Go take a shower."
"Okay."
She walked back out and went to their drawers so she could strip out of her suit.
Finally naked and free from the prison, she hung her clothes and went over to John to give him a kiss.
"What're you looking at?" She asked, bending down so she could wrap her arm around his neck.
"Just my emails. Amazing how many I get."
She peered at the screen and stared at the English letters. She could pick out some of what it meant which meant her off-time studies were actually getting somewhere. "Spam?"
"Lots of it." He answered, clicking through them all.
"I never get spam." Tali said, giving him another peck on the cheek before heading back into the bathroom to turn on the shower.
"Lucky you."
She stepped into the water's steaming embrace. She groaned when the spray pelted her sore back.
"You alright in there?" He said loud enough for her to hear.
"Whole body aches. Was craning my neck and legs all day."
"Need a massage?"
Tali ran both her hands through her locks of hair. "Would you really?"
He closed the browser and leaned back before putting his hands behind his head. "Of course."
"Right after my shower?"
He stood up and peered around the bathroom's corner.
"Anything you want, hun." He said before disappearing and heading to the bed.
She smiled at him and went on to finish her shower. When she was done, she dried off, slung the towel on their rack, and went to the bed to toss herself on it.
"Man, I've never gotten a massage before. Do you do a good job?"
He shrugged. "Don't know. We're about to find out."
He felt her melt on contact when he squeezed her shoulders tenderly. As he ran his hands down her back in slow rotations, he felt himself smile and knew that he'd made peace with his life.
He was going to marry this woman.
Fate permitting, they'd grow old together too.