Sister sister

by Theeragsdale

Aubrey’s not so little sister shows up to campus, shocking everyone as Beca’s first year as captain begins. This is a remake of something I wrote forever ago. Have fun.

5. The lockout

Sydney-c: thanks for the review :) i think they wont be that big of a presence so dont worry too much

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The next morning Bams woke with a smile on her face. Beca was curled up in the crook of her arm, head on her shoulder, fast asleep and breathing slowly. At some point in the night they had found each other and hadn't let go since.

Her heart felt full. More full than it had in a long time and she was slowly realizing she'd felt empty a lot longer than she thought. She'd felt on edge longer than she cared to admit. She'd been unhappy for way too long.

Beca felt different. She felt calming, like some type of anxiety pill Bams needed every day. A part of it scared her. She couldn't tell what was happening: were she and Beca becoming something or just really good friends? She was scared to let herself feel more.

Rejection and the loss of someone who could be a great friend was too much for her right now. So she decided to just enjoy the moment and pulled Beca a bit closer; in her sleep Beca moaned a little and wound her hand up in Bams' t-shirt.

Bams' breathing hitched.

Looking around for a distraction she grabbed the book on her bedside table, flipped the switch to her lamp and cracked it open, being careful not to disturb Beca.

The rest of the apartment was quiet as far as Bams could tell. The only disruptions the birds outside her window and the sound of pages turning as she read, impatiently waiting for Beca to wake up. Part of her wanted to rouse the girl because she missed her, but the other part knew to let her sleep.

Finally, after what felt like half the book, Beca's eyes opened slowly, she blinked heavily and smiled when she saw Bams; this was the happiest she'd been to wake up in a while. Bams' heart thumped hard against her chest, so hard she thought there was no way Beca couldn't feel it.

"Hey you," she whispered, like speaking too loud would be too much for Beca's sleepy ears.

"Mm," Beca mumbled into her chest before stretching out with a sigh. She liked sleeping with Bams; she'd never really shared a bed with anyone, but perhaps she could get used to this. Whatever this was. She just knew as much as she liked sleeping with her she really liked waking up with her too.

"How'd you sleep?" Bams asked, marking her page and depositing her book back on the nightstand. She shifted so she was facing Beca propped up on her elbow. She immediately missed feeling Beca pressed against her, but being awake with her was making her nervous to touch her too much. No matter how badly she wished she could have pulled her on top of her.

"Perfect," Beca said with another shy smile. "You?"

"Couldn't have slept better—whatcha doin today?" She asked casually, not wanting to seem too eager.

"Mmm, haven't really thought about what to do with the last day of freedom," she puckered her lips. She wanted to say hanging out with her, but her confidence was waning. "Hey, what are you majoring in?" She asked, deciding to change the subject from their possible goodbye.

She hadn't thought about school too much since meeting Bams, it seemed like one of the less important things that were going on. But Beca hadn't fully settled on one for herself yet and she was always interested in what other people were doing. School wasn't exactly her favorite thing so it was good to ask around.

Bams tried to not let the change in subject bring her down, "Journalism…athletes always seem to do business and marketing, but I'd rather die," she said with a smile. "It would be cool to commentate when I retire—"

"You're gonna be a pro aren't you?"

"One would hope," Bams admitted. She told Beca it was her worst fear that something would stop her from getting to the wnba. She'd worked her whole life to reach her goal and last year it had felt closer than ever. Now, being at Barden, she wasn't sure what would happen to her.

"Maybe you guys will do really well—"

Bams couldn't help but laugh. "I don't know…Barden's never had a winning season—"

"Well they've never had you before either," she immediately flushed, like she'd said too much too soon. Bams' smile widened.

"We'll see what—" she stopped talking when they heard the front door open. The muffled sound of two voices floated through the closed door and Bams sat up immediately, suddenly very interested. Just as Beca was about to ask who Bams thought it was she answered her question. "My sisters here," she said breathlessly, nearly jumping out of bed in her excitement.

Beca's heart stopped for a moment as fear coursed through her body; she still wasn't sure she was ready for Aubrey to see her coming out of her little sisters bedroom first thing in the morning.

Bams didn't seem to care, which calmed Beca a bit, if Bams wasn't worried neither should she be. She was just excited to see her sister. Aubrey may be a pain in her ass from time to time, but over the last summer the two of them had gotten closer than they had been their whole lives and after last night she was grateful to hug her sister.

Aubrey and Chloe were talking in lowered voices by the front door when Beca and Bams wandered out of the bedroom. From the way they were talking, Bams knew they were discussing her, but she didn't care. Her sister was here and that was all that mattered. Aubrey looked over and smiled, she didn't seem shocked to see Beca at all.

"Bree," Bams said excitedly, crossing the space between them quickly and slamming into her sister for a hug. Beca stayed in the living room, not wanting to interrupt, she could tell Bams needed Aubrey in the moment.

Aubrey wrapped her arms around her much taller sister, "are you okay?" She whispered, her voice laced with concern. Bams nodded, unconvincingly, offering a forced smile; she didn't really want to talk about anything from the night before, besides the sirens.

The look Aubrey gave her screamed I don't believe you, but she decided it was best not to press Bams. She knew if she tried too hard she'd never get anything out of her. And as much as she wanted to talk about what to do about the sirens and Sienna she felt it was best to distract her little sister from whatever was bothering her.

They should have all the Bella's together anyway to game plan the sirens.

"Who wants coffee?" Chloe asked with a clap of her hands and a wide grin.

After doling out mugs to everyone the four girls found themselves in the living room in the midst of about 12 different conversations at the same time. Aubrey and Chloe were relaxing on the couch while Beca and Bams sat side by side on the floor by the coffee table.

Chloe had just started telling a story about the time she and Aubrey were supposed to be looking after Bams when she was 5, but had accidentally ended up locking her in the basement in the pitch dark for four hours.

"You know that was actually kind of traumatizing," Bams said through all their laughter. "Really…and then when you guys couldn't get the door open you just left me." She shuddered; Beca placed a consoling hand on her shoulder and blushed when Bams turned her head and winked at her quickly.

She cleared her throat, hoping no one had noticed her red face, "So you were causing ptsd long before the Bella's then?" Beca jokingly asked Aubrey who rolled her eyes stiffly.

"We were building character," she responded haughtily, but she couldn't keep the grin off her face, finally letting herself laugh. "Okay, it's not like we did it on purpose—the key fell down the register and then—you know, the ice cream truck was going by and then we sort of—-"

"FORGOT ME," Bams said, her eyes widened dramatically.

Beca was rolling around the floor laughing, "you mean," she said between gasps of air, "that you locked a 5 year old in the basement and forgot her over ice cream?" She was nearly howling on the ground, "why did you lock her in there in the first place?"

"Because," Bams said forcefully, "they told me I wasn't brave enough to stay in the basement for five minutes with the door locked—" she glared at her sister and best friend.

Chloe raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips, "that sounds like you willingly went in then," she shrugged heavily.

"I was five," Bams stressed again.

"Eh, you're fine," Aubrey waved her off, "you survived didn't you?"

Bams rolled her eyes at her sister, with a smile barely gracing her face, it was fun to recount their stories with Beca.

They were all quiet for a second while they sipped coffee. Beca broke the silence with a question, "so…where did Bams come from?"

"Well you see my mom and my dad really liked each other and then—" Beca playfully knocked her upside the head.

Bams grimaced and rubbed the spot Beca had hit. Chloe and Aubrey laughed. When she had stopped laughing Chloe spoke, "amber was…"

"Violent," Aubrey interrupted pointedly while Chloe searched for the right word.

Beca glanced over at Bams who had her head buried in her hands; she could see her friend was laughing, but was embarrassed nonetheless.

"Ehhhh," Chloe held her mug up to her lips and took another sip while she continued to think. "I wouldn't say violent…aggressive maybe—"

"Violent," Aubrey reiterated, staring into Beca's soul as if trying to force the understanding into her.

Chloe finally found the words,"She just…you know the scene in lilo and stitch when he builds San Francisco and then destroys it?" Beca nodded her head, slowly understanding where exactly the nickname had originated. "Well," Chloe said simply, nodding her head at Bams who was still hiding, "the birth of Bam Bam."

"Wait, the whole nickname is Bam Bam?" Beca had tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard.

Bams finally picked her face up; it was beet red, but she was still laughing. "I just wanted to have a good time—"

Aubrey leaned forward, "Dude, I'm talking about since she was like…a baby…she used to beat me with her little fists when she was weeks old!"

"You were getting your shit rocked by a newborn?" Beca asked one eyebrow raised, not able to avoid the humor in the story.

"Thank you!" Bams burst out while Aubrey looked taken aback at the point made by Beca. "I just feel like, maybe, you guys jumped the gun with the nickname—"

"In my defense," Chloe stated, "I was two."

"And it did end up being sort of accurate," Aubrey added gently.

"Plus, you love it don't you, Bam Bam," Chloe said with a toothy grin.

Bams grumbled in response, "if that's all you got called your whole life you'd be a little attached to it too."

Beca felt like she hadn't laughed this much in years; she liked seeing Aubrey in this new light. Much more relaxed than she had ever been around Beca before; it was almost like she was a human. Really seeing the two sisters together really made her question how she didn't see that Bams was Aubrey's little sister from the get go.

The girls enjoyed a long morning together. Bams and Beca remained close the whole time, knees knocking together, quick fluttering touches to a thigh, too long glances they didn't realize they were sharing. None of this went unnoticed by the watchful eyes of Chloe and Aubrey who were sharing their own set of secret glances.

Every time Beca would make Bams laugh and the two girls would naturally lean in towards each other Aubrey and Chloe would stare pointedly at each other. They could see what was going on. At first Aubrey's jaw had tightened every time, but the longer she watched the two girls together the more she felt it slacken.

Chloe seemed to just be excited at the prospect of happiness. Every little moment they saw shared between Beca and Bams made her squirm in her seat. So much so that Aubrey was honestly surprised they hadn't noticed the reaction, but they were a little too wrapped up with each other to notice much.

After a few hours and many cups of coffee later Beca decided it would be best for her to finish unpacking her dorm. Bams tried to not let her disappointment show on her face, but it was hard when she was getting so used to having Beca near her; she tried to offer to take Beca home, but Beca didn't want to take her from her sister and was fine with walking. Not to mention she had a lot to think about.

"I'll see you later," she said from the hallway. Bams had followed her and was standing leaned up against the door frame, looking down at Beca with a small smile. Every part of her wanted to lean down and press her lips to Beca's, but she knew she shouldn't. So instead she plastered on a smile and nodded.

"Can't wait, I miss you already," she winked at Beca, who smirked slightly as she tried not to smile too widely before disappearing down the hallway.

Bams barely had time to lock the door behind her when she was hounded by her sister and Chloe standing directly behind her.

"What's going on with Beca?" They asked in perfect unison like they had practiced it. Aubrey had an eyebrow raised and Chloe was wringing her hands in excitement.

Bams paused then took a step back so she was flat to the door. Her sister and Chloe took another step forward; even at 6 '3 this made Bams feel tiny.

"Um…nothing," she responded, knowing she wasn't being entirely untruthful, but also knowing that it wasn't a complete lie either.

"Nothing?" Aubrey repeated blankly. "So the hand going further up your thigh the whole morning was normal?"

Bams' face heated to a million degrees. She hadn't realized just how touchy she and Beca had gotten over the course of the morning, but now she could feel where the weight of Beca's hand had been for hours. Being with the other girl just felt so natural she sort of lost herself.

"I…I—"

"I for one think it's great," Chloe said pointedly from Aubrey's elbow. "You guys are so cute, I've never actually seen Beca smile so much now that I'm thinking about it…and it's been long enough since Nef—"

"There's nothing going on," Bams suddenly felt sick to her stomach at the mention of Nef. All the good feelings Beca had left her with were draining away now. She desperately wanted them to stay. The two older girls refused to move and stared blankly at the cornered Bams who sighed heavily and crossed her arms. "Fine, yet. Nothing's happened yet."

She almost included how she wasn't sure if it was a good idea anyway, but kept silent. She was having a hard time talking about her feelings all around.

"But you want something to happen."

"Are you gonna fall in love with beca?"

Rolling her eyes, Bams lightly shoved her way back into the kitchen where she leaned against the counter. Aubrey trailed behind then hopped on the counter across with her legs swinging over the edge. She was looking at her sister curiously as she resolutely played with the magnets stuck to the fridge.

"I know I said differently earlier," Chloe looked aghast at this proclamation from her spot at the bar, "but I think it could be a good thing," Aubrey said truthfully.

Bams face flushed, she could not believe her sister was saying this. She stared determinedly at the magnet her mom had gotten her from Vegas suddenly feeling very bashful, if she looked at her sister now she would melt into a puddle of embarrassment. "I mean anything is better than Beca fraternizing with a treble—"

"Glad I'm the better option," Bams grumbled, finally looking up from the magnets with a sour look on her face. "But I'm not like…doing anything. We're just hanging out…I like her a lot, she's cool." Aubrey and chloe traded knowing looks. With another eye roll, she crossed her arms angrily and stamped a foot, "Can you guys step off it? If something happens it happens, but I don't…I don't know if I can…and is she even gay?"

They traded looks again, like they were seriously pondering this answer, but quite frankly neither of them were sure. They were both taken aback by Bams proclaiming she might not be able to involve herself with Beca.

Chloe's eyebrows were furrowed when she finally spoke, "Well…any attempt I made to sleep with her wasn't successful last year."

"Oh yeah, you did try a lot," Aubrey agreed with a nod.

It was true. After walking into Beca's shower before she even knew her, Chloe had made it a point to always try to get Beca into bed. An attempt that was vehemently shot down every time, however. While Beca was oddly honored, she couldn't make herself commit to it.

Bams scrunched her face up in disgust. She didn't particularly care to hear about Chloe's attempts to sleep with the girl she was developing a crush on.

There. She said it. She just met Beca Mitchell and she was crushing.

Chloe, who seemed to mistake Bams slight jealousy for distress about Beca's lack of gay interactions, tried to ease her mind, "you're gonna be successful though," she winked at Bams who immediately turned magenta again, "Becs already looked like she was ready to take your—"

"No she didn't," Bams cut Chloe off before she could finish. The red stayed creeping up her cheeks as she knew Chloe was right. Aubrey knew Chloe was right. Even beca who wasn't present knew Chloe was right. "Can you two shut up," she scowled again.

"Bams, what's going on with you? You're being prickly," Chloe commented, ready to get the truth out of Bams.

"Is it about sienna? Is she why you were so upset?" Aubrey pressed, no longer trying to pretend like she didn't know Bams had been feeling down the night before. And while she had been able to contain her desire to talk about the sirens for a while her patience was running thin. She clenched the edge of the counter tightly and leaned forward with interest, her legs kicking back and forth faster than they yet had.

If Bams looked disgusted before it was nothing compared to now. "Oh god no. I mean yes, but…I don't care about her. She's just annoying…it was something she said." She was grappling with telling them the truth or not. She felt ill at the prospect.

She took a deep breath then told the other girls about Sienna's final comment and how she was worried it was her fault the sirens were making a push.

"So…what, you think the sirens and Nef have something to do with each other—"

"Why would Sienna say that to me then?"

Chloe shrugged, "because she's a bitch?"

Aubrey had sat quietly pondering and chewing on her lip as her sister spoke. When Bams and Nef broke up Aubrey came to terms with the fact that her sister wasn't telling her 90% of what had happened, but for the life of her she couldn't determine the correlation between Nef Carrington and the sirens. "It just doesn't make sense. Why would Nef and Sienna be in cahoots at all?"

Despite the seriousness of the situation Chloe chuckled into her arm. She looked up when Bams and Aubrey were staring at her expectantly, "sorry…cahoots."

Bams stared at her for a second more before shaking her head and answering Aubrey "because they hate me. They both hate me."

"Come on Nef doesn't hate—" Chloe grew silent at the look she received. "Okay…what does Nef get out of the sirens coming back? And why this year?"

Bams looked around hopelessly for an answer she didn't have. "I don't know…maybe to distract me so I don't beat—"

"Oh this can't be about basketball," Aubrey groaned; basketball permeated everything Bams did and she was hoping for once Bams could have something that was entirely separate. Even if it meant being a part of a drama filled acapella group.

"Seriously? This is just about the Bellas. It doesn't have anything to do with you. I appreciate you wanting to take the blame, but there's no blame to take. Sienna Miller showing up doesn't have to do with you…it's just a coincidence," she finished softly, patting her sister on the arm.

She didn't say so, but Bams didn't believe her sister at all. Sure, she had forgotten that Sienna went to barden, not to mention half her high school, but that didn't mean Nef had forgotten. And just because it shouldn't have been about basketball didn't mean it wasn't.

Chloe was curiously watching Bams, unlike Aubrey, who had been annoyed by her sister's idea. She could see it in Bams eyes, they had grown dull, she was looking without seeing; something was very wrong.

She bit her cheek, "what happened with Nef, Bams?"

If Bams had looked distraught before it was nothing to what she looked like now. Her face contorted as she tried to force the tears back into her eyes; she didn't know why she was crying. She didn't know why the last 12 hours were so hard for her. Not wanting to answer she looked around the room, hopelessly trying to find something else to talk about.

Aubrey had grown still; she was a bit shocked Chloe had been so bold to ask outright, but she was interested nonetheless.

"I don't wanna talk about it," she mumbled, feeling her stomach churn dangerously at the thought.

"It's not going to get better if you don't talk," Aubrey insisted, she was thinking about how hard Bams could be on herself. It sort of scared her to think of her sister struggling so much on her own.

Bams sighed, "guys—" she went silent for a minute then decided to throw caution to the wind and launched into her story.

She was running down a long, dark, echoey hallway; tears were stinging the corners of her eyes, but none had broken the edge of her lid yet. The hall seemed too loud for how empty it was, too chaotic for how still. The sound of her footsteps bounced back at her followed by those from someone who was rapidly following her. "Bams. Bams. Bams, please stop," pressed on her ears as she sprinted for the exit.

The doors were 50 feet away when A hand snaked around her wrist, "Baby, please-"

Bams stopped short, so suddenly the girl following ran into her and had to take a hasty step back. "Don't call me that," Bams said, her voice quivering with anger and hurt. She didn't turn around, instead she snatched her hand out of the girl's grip and went towards the door again.

"Amber, please," the girl pleaded, stepping between Bams and the exit. Bams was ready to start swinging when she looked up into the light green eyes that had been her home for 7 years. Even in the dark She knew those eyes so well, but right now they looked like they belonged to a stranger.

She squinted through the dark at the distressed girl in front of her. Her eyes raked over freckles scattered on the bridge of a nose, over long shiny raven knotless braids that trailed down her slender back, over bruises and scars, over expanses of skin and delicate fingers.

The girl in front of her was a stranger. Her girl. Her girl was a stranger.

She needed her. But now she would never want her again.

Bams felt her anger subside, her fist unclenched as unmanageable sadness coursed through every cell in her body. She had trusted her, like an idiot, and now her soul was getting ripped out of her.

Her shoulders shook as reality set in, her body ached like she'd been hit with a truck rather than the truth, and her eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to spill over. And still Nef stood there, not speaking, but not letting her go either.

"Move, Nef, let me go—" she mumbled and tried to push by, but Nef had 3 inches and some extra weight on her side.

She grabbed both of Bams' hands in her own and held them to her chest, "Talk to me—" she said quietly, the desperation was thick on her voice. It made any sadness Bams was feeling drain away, how could Nef act like this was something fixable?

"About what?" Bams spat at her, ripping her hands away again. Nef's touch, which for years had felt like a safety blanket, burned like acid on her skin. Nef seemed at a loss for words. "Maybe you wanna ask your friend back there who's still dribbling down your fucking chin."

Nef's eyes grew wide, she took a step back and hastily wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, finally looking slightly embarrassed.

Bams looked like she was about to vomit. "I can't believe you," her voice shaking. She took her own step back from Nef and pressed herself up against the cool cinder block wall, hopefully the chill would be enough to calm her stomach.

"It was a mistake—"

Bams rolled her eyes, "a mistake? You accidentally slipped and fell onto her vagina? Not to mention every other—"

"You talked to Paige," Nef said quietly, staring at her hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. Bams knew it wasn't a question; she nodded slowly. "I'm sorry," Nef whispered into the silence. "I'm so sorry, Bams," she reached out for Bams who sidestepped.

"Don't touch me," she held a hand out warningly, "12 people. She told me she could only tell me 12 people, were you trying to start your own fucking team?" Bams jabbed her thumb over her shoulder towards the hallway they had just come down, "so is that 13 then; you're getting a coaching staff together too?"

Nef didn't respond, she kept her head down and her eyes trained on her hands. If someone walked by she would have looked like a kicked puppy. "What is it Nef? Don't wanna talk now?" She closed the space between them and hissed, "what are you even sad about? Now you get to fuck whoever you want and you don't have to worry about me—"

"I don't want to lose you," Nef mumbled.

Bams laughed loudly in her face, but stopped when Nef didn't join in. "Oh you were serious?"

"Bams," Nef said sadly, finally looking up with tears in her eyes. "I'm—"

"Don't say sorry. Sorry should have been after the first one not the 13th…and Paige had to tell me? After we already went through this last year?" Nef shrank from 6'6 to 6 even. "What the fuck did you think would happen, Nef?"

Nef mumbled something, then took a deep breath and repeated herself. "I don't know. I—I just—I didn't think. Don't throw this away though, Bams, this is everything we ever wanted. We wanted to be at UConn together. We wanted to win together—"

Bams jaw set and her nostrils flared. Of course Nef was thinking about basketball right now. "Yeah together, not with you fucking half the team and coaching staff. If you think I want to stick around to play basketball with you for another two years you're insane—"

"But, Bams, you don't have to leave. You know if you need time we don't have to be together for awhile, but—" Bams' jaw dropped open, There was no way Nef was talking about this like they could work through it. She was grasping at straws, trying anything to keep Bams from casting the final blow.

"We can win the title next year, I know it. But we need you, Bams, we won't be able to do it without you—"

Bams was shaking with rage. She had just found out her girlfriend of 7 years had spent the last year on a sexual rampage and now they were talking about basketball like nothing happened.

She took a great shuddering breath, and her eyes rolled up into her head. "Then it sounds like you will never win a title, Nef," she said through gritted teeth with her eyes firmly closed. The pressure of the silence that followed pressed onto her from all sides; it was so heavy she wasn't sure she would draw in air if she tried to breathe.

Nef opened and shut her mouth a few times, clearly trying to come up with a response, nothing but a small squeak came out. Bams huffed at her and started to leave when Nef's hand flew out to rest on her arm, "Amber," bams wanted to roll her eyes, she hated when Nef used her first name in arguments, like it would win her extra points, "I love you…"

Bams looked over Nef in the dark, took in her face, the pain she was carrying, the sadness etched onto her skin. She thought of seven years of loving her, seven years worth of kisses and I love yous, seven years of unwavering loyalty on her end, seven years of something she thought was happiness. She breathed out slowly, "and I fucking hate you, Nefertiti."

She turned on her heel and stalked out into the night, leaving Nef speechless in her wake.

"Holy shit…" Chloe gasped, she went to console Bams then thought better of it. She wasn't entirely sure that's what she needed at the moment. "Should…should Bree and I go kill her?" She asked, trying to lighten the heavy air a bit.

Bams didn't answer right away; instead searching through the fridge she came back out from behind the door biting an apple. She took a big chomp and chewed slowly, like she was buying time to consider her answer. Even as time passed Nefs face remained burned into her mind and she realized she couldn't find the humor in the question.

She stayed silent.

"Bams, why didn't you tell us? We would have been here for you," Aubrey insisted. She moved across the kitchen, took the apple from Bams, placed it on the counter then wrapped her arms around her younger sister.

Bams cast around hopelessly; she had thought she was ready to talk, but now that the time was upon her it felt impossible to open her mouth. Thinking about Nef hurt a lot, more than she had feared it would.

She looked at the ceiling, fighting back tears, "Because it's embarrassing. I've loved Nef since we were little. It was always Nef. And it sucks that it wasn't me for her."

Chloe joined the hug, pulling the two sisters in tightly while tears streamed down their faces.

---

Beca was not used to walking around with a smile on her face. In fact, no one was used to it. If she hadn't been so in her head on the way from Chloe and Bams' apartment she might have noticed all the strange looks she was getting from classmates that hadn't seen her do anything but glower. As it was, she was strolling along, completely unaware of her surroundings.

It was just hard to contain the warm bubbly feeling that had taken up residence in her stomach, hard to not get distracted by it. But she had to admit, Bams had really distracted her. And it scared her a little.

It almost felt like her every thought concerned the other girl. It was a mix of replayed moments and subconscious desires, of relaxation and anxiety. Because beca didn't know what was going on with her.

Her mind floated to the question she had been grappling with for the past couple days: was she even gay?

The smile that had been in place melted away as her mind started its familiar race. It seemed like it had been on her mind every second as well, eating at her, making it hard to think about anything else besides Bams. She had never considered it before, not because she had an issue with it, she just never really paid enough attention to herself to think about it.

She pondered her exes as she ambled back to her dorm: each one someone who had been Beca's friend first, but had quickly fizzled out when it actually came to dating. She sighed heavily; she'd really only had sex with Jesse one time and it hadn't been that great. Any other time things seemed headed in that direction with exes she had found an excuse to stop.

That seems pretty fucking gay she thought to herself with a silent, nervous laugh. The best way she knew how to navigate any foreign territory was through coping with humor.

She was nearly to her dorm, she had been so distracted with her possible lesbianism she hadn't realized how quickly she had walked. On her journey she was grappling with the thought that women in general seemed more comfortable to her than the thought of a man ever had. Maybe she was trying to deny the obvious.

She had almost reached her building when she heard a voice call out her name. This time she sighed heavily, not from longing or confusion, but from pre exhaustion: she knew who it was.

"Be caw!"

Jesse jogged up beside her, a grin plastered to his face, a frisbee held loosely in his hand. Great. Out of all the places on campus Jesse could have chosen to throw a frisbee it had to be right outside her door. It took everything for Beca to not let her annoyance show. She wasn't in the mood for a Jesse interaction.

"Hi Jesse," she said flatly, not doing well to hide her frustration. But she couldn't help it, she had just been thinking about kissing Bams and now she was thinking about escaping from Jesse.

He seemed unbothered by her greeting, "hey, I've been looking for you," Beca groaned internally, "I just…ah," he looked nervous, "I—I saw what happened last night and wanted to check on you. It didn't look good."

Oh right. Beca had forgot the sirens were probably circulating their antics from the night before. Well, it was nice of Jesse to check.

"Yeah, just plotting our revenge," she laughed uncomfortably before she told him what happened. While she did appreciate the gesture she didn't really want to stick around for that long. She looked longingly towards her dorm, once again unnoticed by Jesse as she plowed through the story.

"As long as you're good I'm sure you have it handled," he grinned at her; he had way more confidence in their situation than she did. "Who's the new girl?" He asked, clearly he had seen Bams in the picture.

"Aubrey's sister," Beca said, not wanting to offer more conversation points.

"Whoa, didn't know Aubrey had a sister…a like, really tall one," Beca couldn't help but chuckle at this. It really was one of Bams' defining traits.

"Yeah, Bams—Amber—"

Jesse paused with his head tilted, "is her last name Sinclair?"

Beca should have known Jesse would know who Bams was. She nodded distractedly, the door to her building had just opened and she wanted nothing more than to run for it.

In the back of her head she heard Chloe telling her to stop making things with Jesse so awkward. But honestly she didn't know how to go about doing that. It seemed as if Jesse had realized he needed to captain the conversation and she gratefully allowed him to steer it. It couldn't hurt to shelve some of the awkwardness.

He looked like he'd never heard more shocking news, "seriously? Bams Sinclair is Aubrey's sister? Are you sure?" He chuckled slightly, but Beca could tell he was serious.

"Pretty wild right?" She chewed the inside of her cheek. "Once you see them together it makes more sense," she explained. "Except Bams is like 6–"

"Foot 3," Jesse finished in awe, it was Beca's turn to laugh. Clearly Jesse was well acquainted with Bams. "Is she not going to UConn anymore then?"

Beca found it was way easier to talk about Bams than it was to approach any subject about herself. Anyway, Bams was becoming one of her favorite subject matters.

She did her best to hide the enthusiasm in her voice as she talked about the older girl. It would be pretty obvious to Jesse that Beca had more interest in Bams than she did most things besides music.

After what felt like twenty minutes but was probably five Beca managed to excuse herself and get to her dorm room.

Her messy. Messy. Dorm room.

It looked just as bad as she had left it, maybe a bit worse, it looked like her roommate had thrown some of Beca's things that had crept over back to her side of the room.

She sighed heavily. She couldn't put this off any longer, granted it had been worth putting it off to spend more time with Bams. She set to work, thoughts of the Bellas, sirens and Bams running around wildly in her brain as she made slow progress.

"Oh wow, it, like, looks so much better in here, girl."

Beca's roommate pushed the door open the rest of the way and let a small group of blonde girls into the room before her. They all stared at Beca like she was a zoo animal they'd been brought to see on a field trip. Beca frowned at them, she didn't quite appreciate the comment or the stares.

"I was, like, a little worried to have the girls over," Brittney laughed in a way that made Beca think she didn't think what she was saying was very funny at all.

Trying not to roll her eyes, Beca clenched her fist in her pocket and forced a smile, "well good thing the room's all ready for the girls then," she scrunched her shoulders and her nose at the same time with a fake giggle. If Brittney wanted to be a bitch she could be too.

Without really knowing where she was going Beca grabbed her laptop, headphones and her bag and made for the door. Anywhere would be better than being stuck in here with her roommate and her fellow sorority bozos.

She mumbled a goodbye and was almost turning the knob when Brittney spoke, "oh hey, girl, would you mind, like, telling that guy to stop coming by. It's totes weird and I just don't feel comfortable…"

Beca stopped listening, of course Jesse had dropped by a few times. She knew he was harmless, just being overly concerned and crossing way too many lines but it was from a good place.

"Oh yeah totes, girl," Beca quipped, secretly laughing in her head as she interrupted Brittney. She took this as an opportunity to escape and squeezed out the door without saying goodbye.

This time, as she made her way through the campus Beca looked far more like herself than she had previously. No one stared as she passed or thought twice about the disinterested look on her face. The charm of being with Bams could only last so long it turned out, and could only withstand so many interactions with people she didn't really want to be around.

The day was cooling off to a comfortable temperature as she wandered aimlessly through the quiet campus, letting her feet make the directional choices more than her head. Briefly she thought about stopping by the radio station, but decided the risk of running into Jesse again was too high.

A few times she ran into classmates that wanted to say hi, but shook them off as quickly as she could, plowing on towards an unknown destination. Finally she found herself at one of her favorite places to hang out, Barden's 24 hour coffee shop the barden bean, affectionately known around campus as the bean.

It was a small shop, dimly lit, just enough light to read by, and smelled of strong coffee and fresh pastries; it was cluttered with a few small tables, squishy arm chairs and couches placed here and there. Music quietly played over the sounds of the espresso machine and the hum of ovens in the back corner. Student art hung on the walls, a way for artists to showcase their work and maybe make a sale or two.

Besides the radio station, it was Beca's favorite place to relax and get work done: Sometimes school work, but usually just songs she was tinkering with. She had spent more than her fair share of afternoons and evenings holed up at her favorite table here at the bean and that was exactly where she was headed.

it was relatively empty when she entered; no one wanted to spend their last afternoon before school inside when the weather was so nice. A few kids stood at the back corner near a box of records and the player, arguing over which one they should play next; none of them looked up when Beca walked in.

"Welcome to the bean," one of the usual baristas called from the other back corner where the bar was set up. Beca nodded towards the kid who spoke then wound her way through the tables to find her's tucked away to the side. She deposited her things then went to the front to order her coffee, forced some small talk with the barista then headed back to her things to set up her laptop.

Despite it being empty, she slid on both her headphones, not wanting to give anyone the opportunity to think she wanted to talk, and hunkered down on the love seat so her face was barely visible over the laptop screen.

The barista, a kid she'd never seen before, came over a few minutes later with her coffee, she muttered thanks then went back to her work trying to organize Bella events for the semester. Only after a minute or two did Beca realize he was still there staring at her, mouth slightly open, braces glinting in the lamplight. she raised an eyebrow at him then pulled off one headphone.

"You're one of the girls from the picture right?"

Great. She let out a slow stream of air through her nose. Another person who had seen the sirens picture from the night before.

She made a mental note that she really needed to get on the campus gossip accounts to monitor the situation then glared at the barista without answer. He seemed to understand she was the wrong person to ask, looking extremely uncomfortable he apologized and backed away without another word, leaving Beca to go back to her laptop.

Before she knew it the Bellas schedule was organized, the mash ups she'd been planning were complete, and she was watching queen of the damned. Her phone lit up beside her and she glanced down. It was 6:05, she couldn't believe nearly three hours had gone by, but she was immediately distracted from the time by the notification on her phone.

Instagram: @bams_theesinner followed you

Beca stared at the notification and tried to ignore how her heart rate had quickened; Bams really had some crazy power over her. Somehow her heart raced even faster as she opened the notification to view Bams profile; she felt it was best to not immediately follow her back like some desperate kid.

Amber Sinclair the top read. It was odd to see Bams' full name, almost as weird as hearing anyone call her by it.

A lot of it was basketball, various shots and videos of Bams in action, many of her with teammates and other players, a few of her standing on the podium with team USA, their gold medals glinting on their chests. Beca stopped here and there to watch Bams play, it really was impressive, she didn't even care about sports really, but she could have spent all day watching Bams.

She scrolled through the non basketball pictures, pausing every once and awhile to admire her: pictures of her tattooing, pictures of her and friends, pictures of vacations, pictures of her with her mom and dad and Aubrey through the years. Her eyes raked over every inch of Bams until she was familiar with every tattoo, piercing and freckle.

Bams was beautiful.

There was no way to deny it. Even if Beca hadn't been in the midst of questioning her sexuality she would have been able to see that. Be that as it may, she was questioning her sexuality and this women was entirely responsible for it. She sighed heavily, unsure if it was laced with longing for Bams or uncertainty with her feelings.

When she had her fill of Bams instagram she quickly scrolled to the top to follow her back. She barely pressed the button when she received a message.

@bams_theesinner messaged you.

Beca's heart jumped to her throat and she gulped trying to dislodge it. She took a deep breath and went to her messages. She could see the first line and her spirits soared.

Hey pretty girl

Bams called her pretty.

She squirmed in her seat, thankful that no one was around to witness this decidedly un-Beca like reaction.

Steeling herself, She eagerly opened the message. It was short. Beca stared for a long time, her breathing picked up the pace to match her thumping heart.

Hey pretty girl. Whatcha doing I miss your face :)

She missed her. Bams missed her. She had spent most of the last two and a half days with her, but she missed her.

Beca smiled to herself despite her best efforts to keep it under control. Her head felt light, her heart was beating hard against her ribs, and she squealed a little as she got ready to answer. And then she paused.

What do you say to a girl you might have a crush on when she calls you a pretty girl and says she misses you?

"Ughh," she groaned and scratched her head, hoping maybe some stroke of genius would come to her. Only when she realized she was leaving Bams' message on read for way too long did she bite the bullet and force a message out.

Hey :) I'm kicking it at the bean Come meet me here?

She reread what she wrote and shook her head. No that wasn't right. She didn't sound like herself at all. She thought for a moment then typed a response.

Hey you :) just chilling at the bean. Wanna come grab a coffee so you don't have to miss me anymore?

She sent it before she could reread it and make herself nervous again then put her phone down quickly so she couldn't see the screen. It was easier to not see Bams answer her.

Less than ten seconds went by and it buzzed. She stared at it for a second then slowly flipped it over.

Instagram @bams_theesinner messaged you

She stared. That was fast. Bams really wanted to see her? Right? Bams was as excited to talk to her as she was? Her heart rate picked back up again and with shaky hands she opened the new message.

Be there soon :)

Beca bit her lip in her excitement then quickly drained what cold dregs were left of her coffee. She was pumped. And she did not get this excited over anything or anyone.

Now that Bams was coming she didn't care how long she scrolled through her instagram, she went back to Bams' profile to conduct a more thorough search. She watched, open mouthed, a video of all the different dunks bams had managed over her career. She was endlessly impressive.

Now Beca made it a task to find Bams without any tattoos and started scrolling way back on her page. She reached Bams' high school graduation and was shocked to see she was still covered in tattoos, not as many but still a lot. She scrolled back further: Bams' getting her license, nearly a full sleeve on each of her legs and her arms were still relatively full. Bams at 15, still covered in ink.

She scrolled, amazed, back through three more years of pictures before she finally found one.

Bams at 12 years old, sitting with her dad at his tattoo station, his heavily tattooed arm around her shoulder and smiles on both of their faces.

"Isn't he cool?"

Beca nearly jumped out of her skin. Bams was standing over her at the table, a huge smile on her face; she looked like she had probably jogged to the coffee shop in her haste to get to Beca, her chest was rising and falling faster than normal and her cheeks were flushed pink.

Beca looked her over: she wore high waisted white pants , a plain olive cropped shirt with the sleeves rolled, two silver chains, and a pair of tan air forces; her hair was pulled up into a messy bun. It was hard not to stare. Even after spending the last fifteen minutes stalking her instagram Beca still hadn't gotten tired of looking.

Shit. She was gay. This was gay.

She was having a hard time breathing.

Beca's mouth formed an o but no noise came out. Bams walking up on her 9 years back in her instagram wasn't exactly how she wanted to start their time together. But Bams seemed unbothered.

"You don't need to look so embarrassed," she squeezed into the loveseat beside Beca. Beca tensed at their sudden closeness and the smell of Bams washing over her, "I've been stalking your Instagram since Aubrey told me about—" she suddenly looked as if she very much wished she hadn't said the last bit. She smiled uncomfortably with an equally uncomfortable laugh not sure how to play off what she had just said.

Beca chuckled, "that's a major compliment, ms Sinclair…" she turned so she was facing Bams entirely, "I would have stalked yours too if I knew who you were—"

Bams rolled her eyes with a smile, grateful that Beca was easing her embarrassment. After a brief pause she said what had crossed her mind a few times in the past couple days. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "I should probably be a little more offended that Aubrey didn't really talk about me a lot—"

"At all," Beca corrected without thinking while nodding knowingly. Bams shoved her lightly, making her laugh happily. "Look, if it makes you feel better she really was probably very distracted with hating me last year." Beca could tell that, despite her playful nature, Bams was actually a bit hurt by this and she wasn't sure how to help her.

She realized she might have to make a sacrifice and embarrass herself. She cleared her throat and sat up a little straighter so she wasn't as pressed up against bams. "so, I was stalking you because I was trying to figure out how long you've had tattoos—"

A small smile appeared on Bams' face that had previously looked a little strained. "You're so cute," she sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind Beca's ear and causing an eruption of goosebumps to crop up on the skin she barely brushed.

Beca stopped breathing briefly and had to gently remind herself when her lungs started to burn. "What did your stalking deduce?" Bams asked, dropping her hand heavily into her lap and leaning into the back of the loveseat to look at beca more clearly.

"12?" She guessed with a head tilt.

"11."

"11?" Beca's face hid no shock.

Bams lived such a different life than Beca would have ever expected of Aubrey's sister, every new thing she learned was more shocking than the previous. "You know…it's unfair how interesting you are," Beca informed her.

Bams squirmed in her seat, Beca had found the one compliment she loved to receive. It pleased Beca to no end to see the older girl squirm.

Bams laughed, "thank you, Beca Mitchell." She paused and smiled so hard at Beca her eyes started to disappear, "if you're trying to woo me it's working."

Neither of them knew they were both thinking the same thing. Maybe it really was working. Beca's nerves sky rocketed; Bams really did have quite the effect on her; never had she been flooded with such confidence and nerves before.

"Hmm, I might be trying…," she heard herself say, shocking even herself, "you'll never know—"

Bams smile faded and she looked seriously at Beca, who felt her feet go cold, "you'd keep that from me?"

Time froze for Beca, her eyes flickered from Bams eyes to her lips, to the slightly raised eyebrow. She didn't know what to say and she didn't know how to react because she just didn't know what was going on with herself.

And Would she keep that from bams? Was she trying to woo her unknowningly? Wasn't she sort of keeping it from her now? No, Beca told herself firmly, she wasn't keeping anything from Bams, because she didn't know anything herself.

"I—I, um."

Bams face split into a wide smile, "you're fun to mess with," she said with a gentle shove of her shoulder. Once again Beca was left questioning what was going on between the two of them. Bams seemed utterly nonplussed, like she was just having the time of her life, but Beca couldn't tell if there was a base of truth in the question Bams asked.

Deciding it was best to move forward with their conversation, Beca plowed on with what she had been talking about. "11?" She asked again, disbelief dripping from her voice. "How did your parents—"

Bams picked up Beca's empty mug to see if there was anymore coffee, "my dad told me if i could learn to build my own machine I could learn to tattoo…so it took me like three years but I finally figured it out." She pulled one of her pant legs up high to show a dinosaur tattooed on her ankle; it wasn't that well done, but it also wasn't the worst thing beca had ever seen.

They chatted for a while about the various tattoos Bams had done at such a young age, Beca was never tired of hearing more about Bams and her many talents. Many of her pieces had permanent residency on her legs, but her dad and even her mom sported a few from the beginnings of her tattooing days.

"So when are you tattooing me?"

This earned her that brilliant smile she was starting to crave. "Whenever you're ready." Bams looked suddenly nervous, like she had run out of things to say before she got to the thing she really wanted to ask. Beca looked at her curiously, in the short time she had known her she hadn't known bams to be bashful.

"Question," she said, straightening up with another smile. When beca nodded she paused, staring intently, almost like she was hyping herself up, before saying rather quickly, "there's a basketball game tonight, I know it's really last minute, but I've got seats and I can ask someone else but I really wanted to go with you."

Bams said this so quickly Beca wasn't entirely certain it hadn't all been one word, but her shoulders sagged from the intense relief of finally asking her question. A warm feeling started to spread from Beca's stomach to her toes and the tips of her fingers. It felt like a fever dream every time Bams wanted to spend more time with her, one she never wanted to wake up from.

"I know you're not really into—"

"I would love to," Beca responded quickly, Bams immediately let out a huge gust of air that Beca couldn't help but get butterflies from. It was really starting to seem like Bams reciprocated the way she had been feeling. "You're so cute," she said way more confidently than she felt.

Bams blushed and looked down at her hands in that uncharacteristically bashful way. For all the times Bams had made her squirm it felt like a victory to return the favor.

After ordering Bams a chocolate chip cookie (she said they looked nearly as good as her own so she definitely needed to try one) the two girls went to Beca's dorm so she could change before the game.

While Beca changed into black skinny jeans a white t shirt, her favorite leather jacket and a pair of black ankle boots Bams preoccupied herself at the desk listening to various songs Beca was working on. She kept her eyes trained on the monitor but she was fighting every basic instinct to turn around and stare open mouthed at the changing woman.

But Nothing prepared her for turning around to see Beca fully dressed either; her stomach lurched, in that way that only happened when she was looking at Beca. She looked beautiful. She was swiping fresh makeup onto her eyes when Bams finally allowed herself to glance over at her.

"You can pick your jaw up," Beca said with a wink, Bams rolled her eyes, smirking as she flipped Beca off and went back to clicking around on her computer.

When she was finished Beca snuck up close behind Bams who had both headphones on and her back to Beca; Bams felt her before she really even felt her. She spun around to see Beca smiling, lifting one of her headphones off, "you know I wouldn't let anyone else do this," she glanced at the computer screen. Bams offered a weak smile and pulled the other headphone off.

"Sorry," she muttered, embarrassed by her own curiosity. She hadn't considered maybe Beca didn't want her snooping around in her music.

The smile that met her gaze put to bed any concern she had about that. "I like you listening, don't look so nervous," she reached around Bams, her arm snaking by her side, and clicked the space bar, pausing the music beating through headphones.

It was one of those moments that feels like everything is frozen in time for a second. For a second Beca was too close, too far into Bams bubble for it to be considered causal.

Bams breathing paused, the smell of Beca washed over her as she felt the heat radiating off her. She wanted nothing more than to slide her hands on Beca's waist, pull her in closer and kiss her for the first time. This was going really far, she wasn't sure if she was ready for it.

But the moment passed, Beca took a regretful step back and Bams kept her hands firmly in her lap. A moment later they were out the door, Beca was leading the way out of her dorm when they ran headlong into a man on the way in.

"Becs!"

"Dad! What are you doing?"

Dr Mitchell had dropped by to see Beca before her first day of school, "just thought I'd come check on you before the big day," he glanced up at Bams, "Dr Mitchell," he stuck his hand out before telling her he taught comparative literature.

"Nice to meet you, sir," she shook his hand with a dazzling smile. "Amber Sinclair. Your daughter is great," she nodded to Beca who was chuckling at Bams calling herself Amber.

Recognition washed over his face, "oh right! I knew you were coming to campus, there's been quite the buzz." Beca felt a bit of pride bubble in her chest, of course her dad knew who Bams was.

"Well we're headed to a basketball game so—"

"You—you're headed to a basketball game?" He looked at his daughter incredulously, "are you feeling alright?" He laughed lightly at his own joke.

"Oh don't worry, she's coming as my guest or I'm sure she wouldn't approach with a ten foot pole," Bams' eyes sparkled as she laughed, grabbing onto Beca's bicep at the same time, sending a jolt of electricity through the shorter girl. Parents usually liked Bams a lot, this felt like another one of those times.

"Impressive," Dr Mitchell conceded, nodding as he spoke. They chatted for a few more minutes, Dr Mitchell had a lot of questions for Bams, then they headed out on the road.

The sun was sinking below the horizon as Bams pulled onto the highway, the bronco hummed happily as they rocketed down the road. Beca could tell bams was excited from the way her hands kept fluttering on the wheel, shaking every few minutes to get the excitement out of them. Bams stim was endlessly charming to Beca and every time it happened she couldn't help but smile.

Atlanta wasn't a far drive, just under 45 minutes to reach gateway center, but it passed quickly between all the chatter, Bams chain smoking joints, and reaching Beca the basic rules of basketball. She was surprised to learn it was way more than just "get the ball in the hoop."

"So a flagrant 1 is not on purpose and a flagrant 2 is on purpose?" Bams nodded with a joint clasped between her lips. She was proud of how much Beca had retained in such a short amount of time.

"I'm excited to see you play…watching the videos is one thing—," Bams' face split into a smile despite the joint, it fell out of her mouth and she cussed loudly as she quickly picked it back up before anything burned.

"Oh, When you were stalking me?" She asked with a grin, her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling.

Beca glared at her before answering rather dryly, "when I was stalking you…" she glared once more at Bams who chuckled as she made her way toward the stadium, joint securely in her left hand. "You know what? I take it back…no longer excited to see you play," she stuck her tongue out at Bams who feigned hysterical sadness.

They fell into a comfortable silence. Both analyzing their situation, but neither wanting to bring it up. Because both girls were nervous, even if they didn't want to admit it. Bams was having a hard time thinking about letting someone get close to her again, Beca was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she might very well be into a girl.

All signs were pointing towards that. Just like all signs were pointing towards Bams needing to get over her own issues. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was just that the fear of getting hurt again trumped the desire to have a person.

The thing was: Beca wasn't someone she had wanted, she was someone she met and then slowly started to want. It had felt like electricity from the moment they first spoke and the longer they knew each other the stronger the current was becoming. Three days felt like a lifetime already.

She wanted to kick herself for being such a stereotype.

Beca peered out of the windows as they pulled up to the arena and headed towards the VIP lot. "Oh you're special," she joked; Bams slapped her thigh and told her to shut up with an eye roll.

It turns out, Beca wasn't entirely wrong. She realized this the second they were in the arena and Bams headed for the lower bowl. Not to mention the copious amount of times they were stopped for pictures and autographs. "Oh you're like famous and you have…holy shit…good seats," Beca commented as they made their way down the stairs towards the floor. Bams turned around with a smile then plowed on.

"Here we are," she sat down at the seat to the right of center court and slapped the one beside her for Beca. "I hope these are okay for your first game," she said casually with a mischievous smile.

Nearly rolling her eyes, Beca sat down, mouth slightly open as she took in the scene before them. She might not know too much about basketball, but even she could tell they were lucky to have these seats. Looking on either side of her she saw they were situated between the benches for the teams.

A few players were still warming up on the court; every once and awhile a player or coach would come over to greet Bams who led a continuous commentary on who everyone was. Everyone wanted pictures together. She met Sandy Brondello, the Liberty coach, three Liberty players and so many Atlanta players she couldn't keep them all straight.

Everyone seemed to want to come say hi to Bams, Beca looked on in awe of her. She was one of the most personable people she'd ever met; impressive when Beca usually avoided talking to too many people.

"That's Sabrina ionescu," Bams pointed to a girl with a long ponytail who was launching shot after shot from behind the three point line. "She's—"

"You have a picture with her!" Beca exclaimed, happy she was able to identify one player. "I saw when I was stalking your instagram," she grinned at Bams who burst out laughing at the admission. "You like New York—"

"Theyve always been my team," she said dreamily watching Sabrina move to a different spot on the court. Beca felt a stabbing in her stomach as she observed Bams watching Sabrina with admiration; a look of near longing on her face.

"I would kill to get drafted by them," she sighed heavily then started pointing out the rest of the coaching staff for both teams. Beca stared at her, ignoring the stabbing swelling the more Bams talked. It was cute to see her so passionate about something.

After having exhausted the tour of people the two of them fell into talking about the Bella's and the sirens when they were interrupted. "Bams! I'm so glad you're here."

Beca's mouth dropped open, it was Sabrina. Bams stood up immediately to hug the new arrival, that same pang rocketed in her stomach. This was a feeling she was unfamiliar with and her mind was in a flurry of uncertainty. Her thoughts jumbled together as she tried to refocus on meeting Sabrina, but she couldn't shake the feeling of what? Jealousy? She mentally slapped herself; what was she jealous over anyway?

Bams quickly introduced Beca before the two of them took off talking at 1000 miles per hour. Sabrina stayed for a few minutes then excused herself to the locker rooms after Beca and e wished her good luck. Beca nearly breathed a sigh of relief when she left them.

"Do more people show up?" Beca asked nervously, staring around at the empty stands surrounding them. The Bellas would probably have drawn a bigger crowd than this she thought.

Bams looked around distractedly, then shook her head before saying off hand, "no one cares about professional women's basketball, just college…we're working on it—"

"Damn, so you mean to tell me joining the reigning acapella champs is the coolest thing about you?"

She received a playful shove for her comment as the lights went low and the Mc started calling out the lineups to each team. Each starter ran out to applause, ending in a handshake with a bench player.

The music was loud, the spot lights were bright, the energy emanating from the two teams was palpable. Bams had explained it was the end of the season and the Liberty were vying for a spot in the playoffs.

What little crowd there made as much noise as possible, but it was hard to not notice the mostly empty arena. But despite the lack luster crowd Beca was eagerly awaiting tip off.

Until that night Beca had been unaware of how vicious girls could be. Yes, she had seen plenty of girl slaps and hair pulling in high school, she had witnessed her fair share of campus club brawls, but she had never seen anything as violent and passionate as professional female basketball players fighting in the paint for position.

Girls were getting bloodied and bruised, scratched and clawed. They bodied their way towards the basket, knocking each other aside with reckless abandon, not caring who they injured on the way. She watched with bated breath as a small fight broke out between two players, their respective teammates holding them back as mouths ran faster than fists were flying. Front row seats to the game were like front row seats to a boxing match.

The entire time Bams watched on the edge of her seat as she ran her own commentary for Beca who listened happily. She had her own personal basketball wikipedia sitting beside her. What more could she ask for? A voice in the back of her head said she could ask for a lot more, but she quickly pushed it away to focus on the game again.

When the final buzzer rang out the Liberty had properly steam rolled the Dream, much to Bams pleasure. "Come on," Bams said, standing up and reaching her hand out to Beca, who stared at it for what felt like a million years but was probably just a few seconds before she reached out to grab it.

Her heart sped up.

Beca felt the warm electricity she was coming to grow familiar with spread through her hand as Bams grasped it tightly and pulled her along behind her. A lazy smile grazed her face as she felt Bams rub her thumb over the back of her hand. She was happy to be dragged around, if she stood behind Bams the crowd was parted and it was easier to walk through. They made their way onto the court and suddenly they were at half court surrounded by players, fans, and coaches.

This was surreal. She spun on the spot as she looked around the slowly emptying stadium, if this is what Bams saw every time she played she was in awe. Despite the thin crowd, it still made her jaw drop as she looked around the massive arena. Bams had said college games were way more packed than professional and she found herself really looking forward to seeing Bams play.

Bams didn't let go of her hand the rest of the time they were in the arena, Beca was introduced to every person that came up to talk; so many people that she stopped bothering to keep track of their names unless they sounded important. Everyone loved Bams; Beca watched with that sharp pain near her naval every time someone held Bams close for an extra second. This resulted in her head swimming with confusion.

Finally, after realizing she was probably letting it get too late, Bams checked the time then sighed, "school," to Beca with an eye roll.

Bams loved school. She always had. nearly as much as basketball. She had always excelled and was top of her class every year all the way up to becoming class valedictorian. It was something that came easy to her; Beca couldn't be more different.

School was Beca's least favorite thing. She didn't see what the use of it was when all she wanted to do was produce music. Why did she need to know about the Cold War to make massive hits one day? It wasn't that she wasn't smart; it just didn't make sense to her why she should waste her time on useless classes.

Her dad saw it quite differently and had spent much of the previous year trying to get Beca to attend classes, much to her displeasure.

Bams got them back to Barden quickly, time always flying when they're ogether, making even the most boring of tasks far more enjoyable. They pulled to a stop and after silencing the engine she turned to look at Beca who had angled herself towards her but was hidden in shadow, the fluorescent street light not quite lighting her face.

"Thanks for coming with me," Bams said with a smile. Through the dark she could see Beca's teeth as she grinned. The smile covered Beca's growing nervousness around Bams; she was still trying to figure it out. Sometimes their physical closeness was overwhelming for Beca, her mind couldn't land on what it wanted or needed yet. "I had a really good time with you, thanks for letting me be a nerd about everything—"

"You look really cool, but you're a major nerd, my guy," Beca joked, Bams reached out and slapped her lightly on the arm. "Thats a compliment in my book…your sister was right you are violent," Bams glared at Beca while she laughed and rubbed the spot where she had just been hit. "I'm sorry I'm sorry. It's just…you're an easy target." She dodged another playful swipe with a chuckle.

"Well you're too tiny to be a target," Bams tried to retaliate but couldn't keep a straight face. "That was bad," she admitted with a nod, Beca was turning red and couldn't speak she was overcome with laughter.

Once she could breathe again Beca straightened up, "thanks for asking me, I was honored," she felt herself lean closer to Bams without meaning to and quickly backed up. Being close to Bams made her head swim in a way it never had before. Her heart beat faster as she tried to shake the feeling.

"Wouldn't have wanted anyone else. Let's go upstairs, I need a blunt," Bams concluded; very on brand for herself.

Beca let herself be pulled upstairs; the feeling of Bams' hand in hers was becoming more and more comfortable as she grew used to the warmth that emanated from their clasped hands.

she was starting to get sleepy as the elevator delivered them to the third floor, the doors dinged open and she sighed with relief at the sight of number 14 down the hall. From the sigh that escaped Bams, clearly she was relieved too. Beca's mind wandered to Bams' bed as they reached the end of the hall.

Her third night in Bams' bed; her breathing grew shaky. Sleeping with Bams was starting to feel natural and it was sending her into a spiral of confusion.

They reached the door and Bams swore loudly.

"I think I left my keys in the car," she groaned, letting her forehead thud against the wood. Her shoulders slumped as she turned around to face Beca with a weak smile on her face. "You can wait if you want; I'll be right back."

She was pleased when Beca insisted on accompanying her as they creakily retraced their steps down the ancient hallway. Neither girl really ever wanted to separate.

Outside the car Bams peered in; her keys were laying on the seat, waiting for her to grab them. She pulled the door handle, nothing happened. She pulled again, nothing again. She turned around one more time, the same weak smile on her face, a very odd laugh escaping her lips. She did not want to say what was happening out loud.

"You locked them in the car didn't you?"

"Perhaps." She turned back to the window, her forehead resting on the window. Panic shot through her, She sighed heavily and fogged the glass. "Chloe's not home and she's got her phone on dick appointment do not disturb too, so she's no help," she chewed one cheek while Beca laughed; Bams, in the midst of her panic, couldn't find it funny.

She desperately tried to think of what to do. They couldnt get a locksmith…it was Barden, Georgia at damn near one in the morning; no one was gonna come save them. They couldn't ask for an RA; the apartments didn't have them and the university's apartment staff wouldn't be back until the morning. She and t hadn't put out a spare key yet, which was now seeming like a major oversight. Then her eyes grew wide.

She turned around suddenly, looking far happier, "the fire escape!" She explained as she grabbed Beca's hand and pulled her along after her (they were spending almost as much time holding hands as they were not). All she needed to do was climb the fire escape, get into the apartment through Chloe's window and they were set.

When they reached the fire escape Beca's faith who had never been strong with this plan to begin with dwindled; she looked up at the ladder hanging over her some 5 feet, then back at Bams who was also staring, but in a much more relaxed way. Beca raised an eyebrow, she wasn't sure how Bams was staying so calm. In reality she was just doing a good job of hiding it.

Bams did look like she was thinking hard however, "how tall do you think that is?"

"Ahh…maybe like…um…10 and a half feet to the ladder?"

"I think I can make it—"

"Make it? You're gonna—," bams, who wasnt paying much attention, had backed up about 30 feet, before Beca could stop her she ran full speed. If Beca hadn't been so worried Bams was going to do something to hurt herself she would have thought it sort of impressive when she launched into the air, her fingers coming a few inches short of the last rung on the ladder.

She grunted when she landed, looking very disappointed. She sighed heavily then backed up again. This time beca spoke up.

" hey, bud, that was really very impressive, but what if you didn't do something that might result in a career ending injury."

Bams stopped what she was doing and crossed her arms, "have you no faith in me, Beca Mitchell?"

"I have all the faith in you, Amber Sinclair, I just also really don't want something to happen to you."

Bams, only after insisting a hundred times that she would be fine, managed a few more attempts to reach the bar; all failed. But She didn't even care because she was still riding the high she got from Beca's concern for her safety.

She looked dejectedly up into the sky; Beca saw the moment a thought came to her mind. She grinned, a little more evil than usual.

"Do you think you could get on my shoulders?"

Beca stared blankly at her. No she did not think she could stand on Bams' shoulders thank you very much.

"Trust me, Becs, I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you."

"Okay, see you say trust you, but I would feel a lot better if you were like a cheerleader or something…ya know…someone who puts people on their shoulders for a living."

The girls went back and forth debating what to do. Bams didn't want to force Beca, but it did seem like the best option. Beca didn't want to disappoint her, but her fear of heights and also of breaking her body was reaching an all time high.

With more uncertainty than trust, Beca allowed Bams to grab a trash can and help her shakily onto it as she stepped on an overturned milk crate.

"Okay, babes," Beca blushed from behind Bams' back, "hold onto my hands and you'll just step onto my shoulders, alright?"

Beca's legs wobbled on the trashcan, luckily it was full and quite heavy or she would have gone tumbling. She looked up at the rung, it was still a good two feet over her; it did look like she'd be able to reach it on Bams' shoulders though, so she steeled herself for her precarious journey.

"You got this, okay? I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

Beca placed her right foot on Bams' shoulder. She took a deep breath, held on tight to Bams' hands and stepped up onto her left. She wobbled briefly, her legs shaking like they were about to collapse, she had Bams' hands clutched so tightly in her own all the color was draining from them.

She squated low, too scared to stand up all the way, but too scared to back down either.

"You okay?"

"Ahh, ya know," Beca's voice was much higher than usual, "having the time of my life. This is actually what I woke up wanting to do this morning."

"Ha ha. Do you think you can stand?"

"Sure."

Beca tried to stand but swayed dangerously and squatted down again immediately with a squeak, her hands gripping Bams' somehow even harder than before until All the feeling had left them.

"I'm scared," Beca finally managed to get out. Bams immediately went into action. Talking Beca through getting off her shoulders and lifting her down from the trash can when she had successfully dismounted.

Beca felt the breath leave her as Bams placed her gently on the ground. She had never been picked up by someone before.

"Bams," she said, slightly out of breath, "why don't you just stand on the trash can?"

Bams' mouth formed an o and she slowly slapped her forehead. After profusely apologizing for putting Beca through her fear Bams, who was acting like she didn't have her own fear of heights, climbed on the trash can and easily reached the bottom rung.

"God, sometimes I am a dumbass," she groaned, pulling the ladder down to the ground.

Beca immediately protested the self-deprecation as Bams began her metallic ringing ascent. She had staunchly told Beca that she would not be attempting the climb; she could stay safe on the ground while bams handled everything.

She grinned as she reached chloe's window, grateful to put their problem in the past and get into her bed. Her head swam as she looked down at Beca to let her know she'd reached the top with a wave before excitedly turning to the window.

With a tug she stumbled back, the window didn't budge. She tried again. Still no luck. "Fuck," she whispered, pausing to catch her breath after her repeated failed attempts. She didn't want to tell Beca, but she had no choice.

"Hey, Becs," she called down, "so…the windows locked." Even from three floors up Bams could hear the sigh Beca gave out. She was silent for a moment, then she said something Bams wished they would have thought of before.

"We can just go to my dorm," Beca offered, trying not to think about how her roommate would respond or how tiny her bed was. Bams' extra long legs would have a hard time with the squeeze, but it seemed the best option.

With no other option, Bams agreed and made the journey back down the fire escape, sliding down the last bit of ladder, much to Beca's chagrin.

It was a twenty minute walk to Beca's dorm, a creepier walk by far than in the day. The trees that covered the campus suddenly lost their charm and were hiding a number of criminals. Bams knew it. She clenched her teeth together as they made their way, relaxing only when they found themselves in the glow from a lamp post.

Beca kept glancing over, as Bams had gone silent. "You okay?" She asked tentatively.

"Ahh, this is lame. Don't make fun of me." Beca promised she wouldn't. "I'm scared of the dark and I have like a crazy wild imagination and I just wanna be there." She laughed nervously.

Beca slid her hand into Bams and squeezed it lightly. "We're almost there," she told her gently.

Bams sighed in relief when they finally reached the stairs leading to Beca's dorm, her heart rate slowed to only slightly concerning. They climbed to the front door as Beca went to grab her keys. She patted her pockets, then patted them again, and again before laughing awkwardly.

"Did you leave your keys at my place?" Bams asked, wanting to cry a little bit.

Beca smiled wide then pulled them out of her pocket, "I'm fucking with you." Bams shoved her lightly as she unlocked the door and opened it for her. "After you," she said with a bow.

Both girls had never been so thankful to be inside a college dorm in their life. After their adventure they were exhausted and Beca's bed was calling to them through the walls. They crept through the halls until they reached Beca's door. She turned to look at Bams.

"My roommates sort of—"

"A Brittney," Beca smiled.

"A Brittney," she agreed with a chuckle, "so just be quiet, she has a lot to say all the time." At least Beca thought, she'd really only met her three times.

"First night in your dorm room I'm sure she'll be surprised to see you," Bams whispered while Beca unlocked the door as quietly as she could.

They cracked the door open, it creaked much louder than it needed to, Beca held her breath as they slid into the dark room. Luckily Brittney was fast asleep with white noise playing.

"I'll get you clothes," Beca whispered, crossing the room carefully and pulling open her dresser to search in the dark for two pairs of shorts and t shirts, one extra large for Bams.

They stripped in the dark, pulling on pjs as fast as they could. Both watching each other out of the corner of their eyes, unseen in the dark. Taking her clothes off near Beca accelerated Bams' heart beat, she shook her head in the dark to clear her thoughts as she pulled the shirt over her head.

"How do you wanna do this?" Bams whispered, peering at the tiny bed.

"Mmm…maybe you against the wall—" Beca wanted to groan at her sentence, even in her exhaustion she found herself entertaining unholy thoughts about Bams.

Bams climbed into the bed and laid down facing beca, it wasn't as comfortable as her bed, but it was better than nothing. Only her feet stuck off the end much to her and Beca's relief.

Beca paused then climbed in beside her and rolled over to face her. "I had fun with you tonight," she whispered again, reveling in her closeness to Bams. The room was chilly, but Beca enjoyed the warmth of Bams' arm as she threw it over her. "I know I already said that, but…" I love spending all my time with you, she wanted to say, but she couldn't find the courage.

Bams forced her voice to not shake, being this close to Beca was always a bit overwhelming. "I had a really great time with you…you can always tell me you had fun with me," she whispered back.

They were silent for a minute before Bams asked for Beca to get closer to her so they were a bit more comfortable in the tiny space. Beca scooted closer, not wanting to look away from Bams, who grabbed Beca's left leg to pull it over herself.

Beca felt a warmth between her legs and gulped as her breathing became slightly ragged. The feeling of being pressed up to Bams was unlike anything she'd felt before. She didn't know why she was suddenly grappling with her feelings so much.

They whispered in the dark for a few minutes. Talking about the game and their issues of the night until both of them were fighting to keep their eyes open. Beca fell into an easy sleep on Bams' chest, both their hearts thudding heavily against each other as Bams wrapped her arms around Beca and pulled her even closer.