That Escalated Quickly

2267.0915

1145 hours

Starship Enterprise

Uhura zoomed through the hall remembering a piece of classical music that she had always loved and realized it had just evolved in her hands: 99 Problems, and They are ALL Yours!

Hearing Kirk's voice, she hurtled a plaintive "CAPTAIN!," in hopes he would hear her and stop. His head popped around the corner.

"Ms. Uhura?"

"If you thought you could evade these ears, I respectfully request you reconsider that hypothesis," handing him a report PAAD requiring his approval. "Fuel consumption report needs your signature; our stop at Station 12 brought equipment and four new crew members aboard, and a stop at K7 got the shafts Scotty needed to effect repairs – please sign there, there, and here; and one other thing…can I speak to you privately?"

"Certainly," he said, stepping into an empty meeting room. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Captain, I just have a request I'm sincerely hoping you will approve… several of us do, actually."

Jim looked at her with mild suspicion. "You, whom, and for what, Uhura?"

Internally he was amused as his comms officer was exceptionally honest and straightforward. When she made a request, he could always rely on her direct nature.

"Well, we will be at Risa for some shore leave…"

"Yes?"

"Well, Christine and I talked with a few other officers, and we would like to take a team to participate in the game show they host at the station there. Once we start we play until we lose."

"Team Trivia?"

"Yes Sir. Mr. Spock told me if you granted permission for the team to participate, he would join us. Think about the devastation that would be left in his wake, Sir. Would you want to face off against him in a trivia contest? He lives for technicalities."

Kirk thought about that very carefully and followed the thought with a shaking of the head. "Ok, Uhura, anyone going needs all duties completed before they leave the ship. Also, let me know when you are scheduled, and who the Dream Team is.

"I will be in meetings with the diplomatic delegations from Andor, Earth, and Vulcan. Once we are finished, they might find this interesting, so would you see what you could do for tickets for them? There are nineteen plus me. Let us get them for the second day if possible."

"I will do so. From what I have learned, starship personnel tend to get, well, distracted by the trappings planet side, and rarely sign up for the gameshow, even if they were on subspace broadcast throughout the federation. Thank you, Captain!"

1425 hours

Dr. McCoy and Nurse Chapel were working through blocks of tests when Lieutenant Pearl McCann entered Sickbay. She stood quietly as they worked through micro-measurements and notated the results.

"Lt. McCann, what can I do for you?," McCoy asked.

"Afternoon, Doctor. The new prescriptions are ready. I just wanted to check on your preferences: do you wish hand delivery per patient, or do you prefer to examine the pharmaceuticals and then have them delivered, or for each patient to come to sickbay? Different Docs have preferences, so how would you like this task completed, Sir? I just need to know what makes you happiest."

Bones smiled and winked at Christine. "I knew we chose the right bio-pharmacologist. Honestly, Pearl, I do prefer to check over every preparation, if that is ok for you," Bones answered, half focused on his sample exams.

"Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Once you have approved them, would you like patients to come pick them, or our department to deliver them?"

"Oh yes, delivery would be ideal. Sorry I am so distracted, just working on too much at once."

"Your secret is safe with me, Sir. Feel free to check any of them as you need. Should you find something untoward, please let me know. I will speak to my team."

Pearl set the tray on the worktable and wished them a good afternoon and headed out the door. Christine slipped through the door behind her.

"Hey Pearl, quick question?"

"Chris, what's up, new friend?"

Just wanted to let you know that Nyota talked to the Captain about Team Trivia and approved it! We need you!"

"I would love to – but I have not been on board very long - will that be a problem? I mean, there are other officers who have been on board much longer than myself. They deserve to do that before me."

"You are our sleeper agent. Besides, we need a Dark Horse on this: Nyota told me about what you did at trivia night last week. I am sincerely sorry I missed it," Christine said. "We would love you to join the team. Can I tell Uhura to put you down, Pearl?"

Pearl thought about something her grandmother taught her. If you want a friend, you must be a friend.

"Yeah, put me down! And thanks for the invite! Just fair warning…call it a truth in trivia statement: I will do or say whatever needs to be done or said, within the rules, for us to utterly obliterate anyone. Anything. Especially if it is embarrassing. Particularly especially if it horrifies one, or all my own team members. Chris, I am thirty-one on the outside, and twelve on the inside – and overly confident."

"Look at that self-awareness…And THAT is why we need a dark horse. While we are at it," Christine dropped a new tube of lipstick into Pearl's left hand. "I researched the host…this is his favorite brand and color. We do what we must."

Pearl smiled, thanked Christine, and went back to work.

When Christine entered sickbay, Bones looked grumpy.

"Where'd you head off to? The samples are not testing themselves."

"Leonard?"

His head popped up quickly hearing her calling him by first name.

"Yes?"

"It's a secret – ," she smiled at his look of surprise, and continued, "well, it is. Did you go to trivia night last week?

"Yeah I did. Why?"

"Then you saw Pearl destroy the other team, and with malice, right? On her own, no other teammates…"

"It was spectacular, now that you mention it."

She handed him the next sample and winked at him.

Uhura contacted the scheduling department for Team Trivia and delighted the production assistant by knowing exactly when they would arrive and knowing exactly who would be playing.

"The team is comprised of Lt. Commander Spock, Dr. Leonard McCoy, Lt. Nyota Uhura, Lt. Pearl McCann, and Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott," Uhura answered quickly.

Production Assistant Malachi Uyani planned an appearance for the Enterprise Crew.

"Ms. Uhura, it is exciting to have Starfleet officers here to play, we hardly ever have a ship at the station AND the crew. It is the star liners, so tell your folks they will be playing against adults in family groups. I will be sure to prep the host that you work together – also he will spend some time with each team getting to know each player a bit. Again, thank you for scheduling so early. In fact, that brings up an interesting opportunity," Malachi paused, thoughtfully.

"What is it, Mr. Uyani?"

"Feel free to say no on this… but do you have anyone on your team who is lightning-fast at figuring out a joke and is intimidated by, oh, say…. nothing? Oh, and gives harder than they get?"

Uhura smiled like the Cheshire Cat.

"Why yes, we do."

"The host loves the challenge of getting aggressively improvisational. If you can shut him down, it doubles any credits due to your team at the end. The production team will not tell him who the player is. He likes the hunt, as it were."

"I need to talk with the individual in question, and they are on duty right now."

"Think of this as a mini game that boosts your winning. It will not cost anything." Malachi answered. "Please let me know."

"Ms. Uhura, I have your team booked and we look to meeting all of you."

Uhura walked down to the Captain's Chair. He turned and smiled."

"Ms. Uhura? How may I help?"

"Just to follow up on our discussion regarding options on Risa, Sir. We are scheduled to play on two days during our stop. I have submitted our team roster, and we have the option of a one on one between one of our players and the host. If we win the improvement, it doubles the number of credits our team wins. May we still have permission? I need to let the team know how to prepare."

Kirk nodded. "Uhura, I am looking forward to this and tell everyone I said to give 'em hell."

She smiled and gleefully moved back to comm station. At 2100 hours, informational messages began to appear in message boxes with urgent labeling.

TO: Lt. Commander Spock, Dr. Leonard McCoy, Comms. Officer Uhura, Lt. Pearl McCann, Chief Engineer Scott

RE: Team Trivia while at Risa Station, and informal team name needed

Good evening,

I apologize for the lateness of my message, but I bring a challenge that, if managed correctly, could reignite our trivia team on board. We have been invited to play on the game show "Team Trivia", which is filmed on Risa Station. We have received permission from Captain Kirk to build a team and in his words: give 'em Hell. I have loosely interpreted that to wish us well.

Mr. Spock, as our commanding officer, I need to request a team name (the two options provided by the captain): "Periodic Table Dancers," or "Fission Impossible". If you would please submit the chosen team's name by 0800 tomorrow. While I certainly would never presume telling our second in command how to choose the team's name, I strongly recommend him request votes. Participants will be much more cooperative, Sir.

Pearl, we have heard of your "trivial" greatness, and I witnessed your act of subtle subterfuge at last week's trivia meet. If you are up to a mighty challenge, both minor and meaningless rewards await you. Interested? Please inform Mr. Spock ASAP.

Any questions? Let me know by when? 0800 tomorrow.

Night Night!

N.U.

2267.0917

Starship Enterprise, in orbit at Risa station

Spock learned a valuable lesson yesterday. While leading a brief planning meeting with the team, he had foolishly trusted them to select the team name and was only informed of said choice after it was too late to modify the proffered moniker. He sent the captain a request for more time to plan any future knowledge-based contests.

The captain's response suggested Spock would certainly succeed in this leadership endeavor, and to please let Kirk know if he required any leadership retraining, or if he would prefer to observe Jim on the bridge. Kirk even offered a hybridized plan should he require it. He signed off with "I, too, am honored to serve."

Spock required a significant interval of meditation after reading Jim's answer.

While the rest of them thought: "Periodic Table Dancers" was more than acceptable, Spock did NOT. While he would never admit to it, he felt a small amount of embarrassment, knowing exactly who would be in the audience tomorrow.

He decided to provide the most accurate and specific answers he could and leave the foolishness to the rest of the team, although his mother would know exactly what he was doing. During his morning meditation, he determined he would be a fountain of knowledge… and would extend maximum effort on his mother's behalf. He already knew she would be proud of him.

The only problem was that the answers to the questions were based on information obtained via opinion and anecdotal experience, and he uttered his final thought on the matter as he left to meet the team in the transporter room.

"Pekh."

"Shit."

Day One

The Periodic Table Dancers respectfully but accurately conducted a postmortem on the three teams scheduled against them that day. Their winnings totaled 30,000 credits, and Mr. Dan Anderson had not found Pearl yet. She spent the day just participating, winning two showdowns to grab good categories as she was able, but more than anything, she had only used a miniscule amount of lipstick today.

After PTD was back on board The Enterprise, they decided to debrief the day.

"Pearl. You look like a predator, but in a clever way," Scotty said. "I mean, he's got no idea what's coming for him tomorrow."

"Why thank you. I like to think of myself as a black widow, except my target is color blind," she responded. "He will see the red tomorrow. Literally."

"I do not know about any of you, but I am tired and thirsty. Who wants hot tea?" Uhura asked as she approached the food dispensary.

Scotty helped Nyota bring tea, honey, and lemon to the table, and he offered Pearl a cup. Once everyone was served, he called for a toast.

"To the safest black widow, I have ever encountered. May they be razed to the ground by the end of the 'morrow!"

Calls of 'hear, hear' followed the toast.

Nyota took a sip, and then asked Pearl for information.

"So…Christine did some research on our host, and he has an exceptionally soft spot for this lipstick. She was kind enough to donate a new tube. I wore only a bit today to see what he would do."

"Your observations?" Spock requested, curiosity gnawing on a pointed ear.

"He is a typical human male, present company excluded. He could not keep his eyes off my mouth, so I played into that, despite a deeply seated, quickly growing sense of primal disgust."

Pearl looked like she might throw up in her mouth a little.

"I also noted he is desperately trying to figure out who the sleeper is, and he is a dyed in the wool chauvinist. He thinks the sleeper is one of the two human males on the team. Mr. Spock, he has decided it is not you because he has only heard tropes and inaccurate stereotypes about Vulcans and believes you will neither challenge him nor become comedic. In all the years I lived on Vulcan I met some delightful individuals. One of them taught me that logic can be bent, but not broken…my biochemistry prof at the academy of sciences."

Bones perked up when she mentioned Vulcan.

"So where did your family live?"

"They live in Shikhar proper, near the academy. My father works at the propulsion laboratory and maintains the Terran flight museum there. My mother is a xenopsychiatrist, working in neurological research."

Scotty risked a question.

"Does your father ever receive well intentioned visitors who might read a few too many technical journals and have no self-control regarding engineering?"

Pearl laughed. "Exactly who might you be referring to, Mr. Scott?"

"I will own it completely. We do make it there with some regularity…"

"I see optimism is a strong suit."

"Aye, it is the only way I keep the title of miracle worker."

"The next time we are headed home, I will make that visit happen for you. If you want a true adventure, I will even take you up for a demo flight if you like."

Spock spoke up, concerned that her file might be incomplete. "A demo flight? The propulsion laboratory has specific regulations regarding who is allowed to fly any craft in development. Your record lists no flight qualifications. Are they missing?"

"I earned my first license at age 7. I understand the confusion. I do not pilot modern craft. I fly antiquated aircraft manufactured between 1930 and 2030. If it is in the museum, I can demo the plane."

Scotty was a smitten kitten. "Forgive my intrusion, but which ones? Some of them flew marvelously. One managed stalls to evade attack midflight…. They could maneuver in ways no prior craft ever could before them. Amazing innovations in flight."

Pearl began to count on her fingers as she quietly named off what she had available.

"Let us see, they are either small prop planes or jet powered. We do have a few originating from the second world war, but they are so old they require extensive maintenance…and are not flying safely in the planetary atmosphere yet. We have more in the museum, but the safety margins now limit what we can start, so currently that includes the F14, the F15, the F16, the F 18, the F22 the F35B, and for long range fun, an SR 71. Dad taught me to fly."

Scotty sat listening rapturously to her description. He was about to ask more questions when Bones gently stopped him, suggesting they finish for the day and there would be ample time. Scotty looked at the doctor and issued a plaintive "Leonard."

Pearl saw the disappointment. "Scotty, once we are back, I will offer you what free time I have, along with a fresh bottle of Talisker to accompany the conversation…and that invite is open for anyone.

"I grew up on Vulcan. I know the culture well, and I understand how effectively humorous one can be when properly motivated, and still maintain comportment. Vulcan humor is delicate, refined, and very often masked in the individual's area of scientific specialty. It is superb once you learn how to hear it. The physics jokes alone about kill me. Mr. Spock, if you can drop a few on our esteemed host, that will give us an edge.

"I shall. Mr. Dan Anderson is what some might call "an idiot." Mr. Spock said, "he does not know what to do with you. I believe either he or a staff member researched all of us – and he knows I have dual parentage. I am not surprised by this in any way. I am surprised by the assumptions he makes about anyone not a white male."

Nyota prepared herself another cup of tea and then spoke. "I saw the chauvinism, too. If I may be direct; he sets off every instinctive warning about being a dangerous male. So, Pearl, what is your plan?"

"Here is what I have in mind, and I invite everyone's feedback: I am dialing the lipstick up to eleven. I want him so distracted when we do go at it he will be more likely to make a mistake. I will also give him more eye contact than he is used to from women. If I can beat him, we double our winnings.

"If it is more logical to not respond to his provocation and he cannot identify me, we get three times our winnings. I need to ask for as much coordination as possible on topics we can complete, and for some kind way of on how to interact with him.

"I am not the only person on this team, and I really wish to bring him down a notch or two without cratering what everyone has done today. Genuinely, y'all were outstanding today. I am honored to assist."

Nyota spoke up. "You look great today, but how comfortable are you in heavier make up?"

"Honestly? I am not. I keep it basic, neat, and clean. But anything resembling theatrical applications, I am in over my head. I tried to learn smoky eyes and cat's eye liner such as yours, and Nyota, I looked like I took a solid punch to the face. Would you be able to help?"

Nyota nodded and gave Pearl a thumbs up. "Absolutely. I have you covered.

McCoy spoke up next. "You have a good plan, save one issue. I saw the patronizing and sexist behavior you mentioned. I know this type of guy. I am convinced there is only one of them in the universe, they just keep changing their names. After a while, they just become the same idiot. But this guy is a very smart idiot. He would not have this job if he could not work a crowd. I think you should be much more subtle, until he figures out it is you. Then paint his back porch red."

Spock looked confused. Pearl asked about it.

"Mr. Spock, you look confused, Sir."

"What does it mean to paint a back porch red?"

She smiled and answered. "May I be candid, Sir?"

"Always."

"It means to beat his ass. Sir."

"I am able to confirm the lieutenant's interpretation, Mr. Spock," McCoy offered.

Uhura laughed hard. Scotty choked on a sip of tea. "Pearl, are you sure you shouldn't be in security?"

"I considered it. However, I exceed the synaptic function required, and I prefer to return to the ship after beaming down.

Spock nodded in agreement. "Even though you have only been aboard a brief time, your subtlety has shown itself to be highly effective. I suggest you use that to your advantage, and then once you are discovered, provide him with an education he will not soon forget."

Spock stood and suggested they all take time to rest and prepare for day two.

After the meeting ended. Nyota buzzed Kirk. He answered quickly.

"How did it go today?"

"Brilliantly, sir. We won three of three games, Pearl remains undiscovered, and we have earned 30,000 credits. I also have secured twenty seats. Transport operators only need to tell them a VIP is coming, and their security team will ensure their safety. Oh, you should know the audience will be full, as two-star liners docked at the station. If any of the delegates do not wish to attend, we ask you choose crewmembers to fill those empty seats."

"Will do. Kick them in the pants tomorrow. You are making us proud!"

Day Two – The Day of Reckoning

When PERIODIC TABLE DANCERS was transported into the recording studio, there were more teams than the day before. Uhura's questions about the deviation from original plan were answered by Malachi, who pointed out both star liners that arrived in the night.

"Ah yes, they are scheduled for the games tomorrow. If you are ready, we can get started."

Nyota checked Pearl's makeup, and she was on point.

The team was introduced to the first challenge, and after introductions and a smidgen of information about each team, the game began.

Nyota stepped up to the buzzer and hoped for a good category.

"Alright ladies, top four answers on the board. Tell us the rules in this situation: your man cheated, and you caught him…what is going to happen to him?

Uhura's opponent beat her to the signal and got the first chance. "KILL HIM, Dan!"

The audience broke into slight and uncomfortable laughter. Dan approached her. "Kill. Him?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

"Is your husband here today?"

"Oh yes," she replied, pointing him out. "He's very faithful, Dan."

"I bet he is," He turned and yelled at the board to discover if the answer was there or not. "Kill him?"

She was rewarded with her answer being the fourth of four. This allowed Uhura to make a guess and take the category altogether.

"Ms. Uhura, if you can provide a successful answer in the top three you can steal the category: what is your answer?

"Well, death is a tad harsh, at least without prior discussion, so I will say "go into couples therapy."

"Therapy?"

Her answer took third place. She glanced over at Spock who nodded. "Dan we'd like to play please," and then walked over to her team.

"Mr. Spock, we'll switch it up a bit for you… your woman…what would you do?"

"Dependent upon variables, past history and situational context I would my consider departure from the relationship."

"Leave!"

The number two spot filled.

"Mr. Scott, you are an engineer…how would you solve this problem?"

"I might consider speaking with family to be certain of all circumstances."

"Talk with the family!"

Scotty's answer took the number one spot, completed the round, and put the periodic table dancers ahead early on.

"I like the way you all think…less violence."

Spock responded in his finest 'I am more evolved that you' voice by informing Dan that "Starfleet is a peacekeeping armada. Violence is never the preferred option."

While everything reset for the next team to have a go at the PERIODIC TABLE DANCERS, Spock carefully glanced in the audience and noticed the captain seated next to Spock's mother and father, the Terran Ambassador, his staff sat behind him, and the ambassador from Andor and his staff sat to Jim's right.

"Mr. Spock…It will be now or never. You are our leader… what do you want me to do?" Pearl asked.

Spock brought the team all in.

Scotty patted her shoulder gently. "I don' think he believes it is you. I say go with your instinct. When I was a lad in Scotland, we had an expression: don't start nothing, won't be nothing."

Uhura nodded, whispering. "I agree. He is very distracted by your appearance, so use that as you are comfortable.

Bones looked her directly in the eyes. "I think He might be homing in on me. I have been, well, a bit saltier than I normally am. I am trying to give you a red herring to trout slap him with."

She took a deep breath hearing the other team huddling up.

Then Spock spoke. "Pearl," he said using her first name despite her rank so far beneath his. "You possess significant aptitude for this, and I have observed his behavior as described by you, Uhura, and the Good Doctor. It is distasteful and indicates to me that he requires reeducation. Do whatever you believe to be appropriate. You have our full support, and your orders are clear: seek and destroy."

"Aye, Sir. Here we go!"

The Studio revved into action and once intros and the usual start up monologue was complete, Dr. McCoy walked casually up for the showdown. He found himself looking at a very plump man with a vacant expression. He was clearly on vacation and had been drinking.

Believing himself to be more than acceptable in this category, Dan Anderson kicked the game off. "What could be few inches too small?"

McCoy hit the buzzer first and answered, "A belt."

Dan yelled, "a belt!"

They were rewarded with the affirming ring of a bell and learned Leonard had given the first-place answer. He turned and observed Spock who was thinking carefully, and then nodded. McCoy nodded, confirming the Periodic Table Dancers would move forward with the question.

"Mr. Spock, what is your answer?" Dan asked, watching Spock's body language, having difficulty with the lack of information.

"At the Academy, I had a room mate who kept clothing that did not fit. He called them "wishful-thinking pants," therefore I will select an answer of "old clothing."

At that moment. He realized that the crew were in the audience cheering each answer, correct or not. Additionally, Ambassador Sarek sat next to his wife, then Kirk was to the left of the Andorian delegation. Behind Sarek sat the Terran delegation. Each correct answer earned acknowledgement from the Terran group…usually a firm pat on the back and some form of "there you go, Jimmy Boy!"

Kirk hated "Jimmy Boy" more than he had words for, but that had to be kept to himself.

"Mr. Scott, what is something that could be a few inches too short. For the win…

While Scott was preparing his answer, Spock very subtly used classroom management techniques developed by Vulcan teachers with Pearl. She learned he believed the Host had found her and would start with her in the next game.

/Pearl, prepare yourself. I believe he will use something highly intimate into attempt to embarrass you into not engaging with him. He knows it is you. The black widow must become a praying mantis./

Pearl gave the traditional Vulcan unspoken agreement as Dan pressed Scotty for his answer, indicated by one slow inclined head motion. Lady Amanda touched fingers with Ambassador Sarek and pointed it out.

/Sarek, there is a bonus opportunity on this game. The host is told there will be a challenger, and he must find them before their final game, or they win a bonus. If he finds them and they can beat him in an improvisational game, they win a different bonus. Spock was using Vulcan pedagogical signing with the young woman to his left. Pearl is the plant. I know you are modest to a fault, which is one of many reasons I illogically love you, but I think this might go down in ship history. Be aware the host might use inappropriate language if Pearl can tolerate it./

/Understood, Aduna. I have spent enough years around Humans to understand why a game of this type would have such appeal./

"Alright Mr. Scott, what is it?"

It was not what Scott said, rather how he presented it. He was a very modest individual but found the host utterly repellent, and guessed his answer would describe Mr. Anderson. "Penis size… on certain men." Scott stared him down as the audience screamed with laughter and applause.

Terran Ambassador Andrew Sutton leaned forward and began with "Outstanding, Jim, is that your chief engineer?"

"Yes, he is, Mr. Ambassador. We call him the Miracle Worker."

Silent to that point, the Andorian Ambassador, Felved briefly commented "exactly what kind of miracles, we may never know – "

"My engines run at ideal capacity, Mr. Ambassador. "What Mr. Scott provides for others in his off time is not my concern," Jim proffered.

Amanda worked to stifle her own laughter simply to preserve Sarek's sense of decency.

"Well said, Captain Kirk," Felved answered, laughing at the situation.

Ambassador Sutton just laughed, and tried to make Jim feel better about an activity he clearly regretted approving. "Sincerely, Jim, their team's name is fantastic… Periodic Table Dancers…" and the laughter started again.

As Jim gently pinched the bridge of his nose, Amanda leaned over to him. "Captain Kirk, I assure you the 15-year-old behavior behind us," pausing to glare at the Terran delegation, "is only because most diplomatic assignments are not as entertaining. Thank you for the invitation. How did you convince my son to do this?"

"Unbelievably, he volunteered. They needed a fifth, and he decided this would be an 'interesting learning experience.' I do not think he realized how this would increase the bonding and trust between the execs."

Sarek leaned forward with a question. "Captain, our family have known Pearl and her father for many years. How was she eligible if the team was for executive officers?"

"Ah. We have a trivia night for teams in off hours each week. They watched her singlehandedly decimate every team playing last week. Alone. It was remarkable."

As the studio quietened, Spock took a meditative breath, inviting Pearl to join him for a few. The Periodic Table Dancers cheered Spock on as he took his place for the show down. As Dan read the question, he evaluated his competition, the matriarch of the opposing team.

"What part of a woman's body will she use to control her man?"

Spock gracefully tapped the buzzer .35 seconds before the matriarch.

Spock bowed respectfully to her as he replied, "clearly her intellect." Earning raucous applause and intense attention from women, many of whom were interested in what he was, and exactly where they could acquire one.

Dan turned to yell Spock's offered answer at the scoreboard: "Her Intellect," which earned them fourth answer of five.

Returning to the matriarch, she offered her suggestion of "juicy booty." Spock decided she was not the matriarch.

"Tell Me About That Juicy Booty?"

The fifth-place answer was filled. Spock decided to risk the three remaining answers.

The lightest tap came from Spock, moving as if he had anxiety and could not remain still. She decoded his last message of support, watching Dan head her way.

/It is Now or No. Your choice is acceptable. Raze him to the ground./

Pearl took a deep breath as Dan approached, looking like a cheetah circling its prey. He approached Pearl and asked the question. She decided to obey her XO's orders and prepared to raze him to the ground.

"Pearl, I think I have been searching for you the past two days."

"Why, Dan? So, you can get intelligent answers to your insane questions? Ask what you got to ask, Danny Boy." She glared at him. From this point forward the banter got aggressive and to a point where Dan was clearly struggling to keep up.

"Well, Yes Ma'am. Name a part of your body you use to manipulate a man."

"These legs. You cannot even manage the idea of that, let alone consider what I could do to you with them." He had no idea she was thinking only about breaking his neck.

Spock listened carefully as Pearl wore Dan down. Consequently, Spock sensed her metal shielding declining while she continued to wear him down. As she held her own against him with confidence, Dan's responses became more cruel and more inappropriate by each moment. As the confrontation went on, Spock began to realize she was concerned Dan had discovered her a kiran, a widow to a Vulcan male who died tragically in a work-related accident. Spock was completely certain Dan did not understand how inappropriate bringing up her status as kiran was.

"Wrap around me." Dan yelled at her…she made nary a flinch.

"Come on now. I am waiting for something worth responding to. "Take your time. I do not want you to wear yourself out.

"Wrap around me, baby girl.

"That is a hard pass. I am not here to play with you… my legs are not going around anything you think you got to work with… that is called delusion, Dan. You have not earned the right to get anywhere near me in that way, you nasty twerp. So disgusting, " Pearl responded.

Uhura glanced in the audience and found Christine. They both looked worried, having no idea the host would have been so inappropriate with a female contestant.

"You all up in there struggling." Dan threw at her. "You prop that leg up – "

"You listen here you stumpy little toad. The only thing wrong with anyone's leg started when you did NOT do your physical therapy for that ganky-ass hip replacement you were too cheap to get the titanium joint for… I mean you got that ceramic hip…squeaking as you walk. I could complete my semi-annual phaser qualification just listening your squeaking ass trying hide in the studio… I could shoot your ass in the dark."

"I bet I could work you over so much you will wish we could work it out…but we both know you aren't pretty enough to stand with this left arm. I only associate with beautiful women."

The audience inhaled in surprised with the insult he chose to throw at her in that moment.

Scotty felt a powerful sense of protection as her salvo continued.

"I assure you the only person struggling sexually on this stage is the 'man' I am looking at. The only way a reasonable, respectable male will engage in mating with this female will happen when that male demonstrates his intention to protect me and provide for my needs, which you clearly are neither willing nor able to do. You should be ashamed of yourself, cause your grandmother certainly is."

"And what would his name be? Did heavy makeup work on him? You know… Your imaginary boyfriend on Vulcan? That is what kiran means, right?

Suddenly a bell rang multiple times as the production staff met to decide the winner.

Sarek looked at his aduna. /Was that supposed to happen? It was completely inappropriate. How would they have learned of that?/

/K'diwa, I do not know. I have enjoyed this show for many years, and I have never seen anything like that./

Ambassador Sutton leaned forward. "Jim, is she going to be all right? He was completely out of line.

"Lieutenant McCann is capable and tough. I will check in with her tonight, though, as that seems to have been out of control before it started," Jim replied, processing what he had just witnessed.

Ambassador Felved was clearly thinking about what he had just witnessed. "Captain, I must ask, what does 'kiran' mean? My English instructor never discussed this term."

Sarek answered. "Ambassador Felved, 'kiran' is a Vulcan word. Fundamentally, it describes a male or female who has lost their mate. We know her family. Her adun, or husband, was an aerospace engineer. He was installing a new fuel cell and was electrocuted. She was helpless to stop it and watched him die."

Felved was confused. "Most importantly, our clan shares her sorrow. In Andorian culture, that would be completely unacceptable. The entire community would ensure she was protected, and would assist in finding a new mate, if she desired one. Some never recover from that. My first wife died birthing my eldest son. It took just over 11 years for me to be ready to consider another. "

The Ambassadorial group sat in contrasting quiet to the noise around them.

The audience screamed in laughter, seeing a verbal battle unlike anything else, and not completely processing what he said. Amanda looked at Spock and inconspicuously.

Dr. McCoy patted her shoulder gently, whispering "Pearl, we have your back. That is not how that was supposed to go. I love these, and I have never seen one like this. You have a safe place on board. I am sorry this happened."

The production crew were discussing who won that altercation, then the producer came out and whispered into Dan's ear. His face reddened, but he announced that The Periodic Table Dancers had successfully completed the bonus.

As they reset the studio, the team began to talk strategy for the last game.

Spock began quietly. "Pearl. I regret the way he spoke to you. Had I better understood what he would do, I would have suggested we not attempt that bonus activity. I would speak with you once back aboard at your convenience."

She gave that typical assenting singular nod with unusual quiet, and then spoke softly.

"Let's finish well," Pearl said quietly, and walked to her place at the team desk.

Nyota watched her carefully. That exchange was not what she had understood the bonus activity would be like.

Pearl then stepped up to the showdown desk and shook hands with her opponent,

Dan read the question," What is something Abrahan Lincoln used to ride on?

Pearl managed the buzzer very quickly and answered, "A horse." (Correct)

"Dr. McCoy – what is something Abraham Lincoln rode?"

"A carriage." (Correct)

Lt. Uhura stood quiet. "What is something Abraham Lincoln rode on?"

"I am likely, wrong, but we are going with it… a donkey?" (Incorrect)

"Mr. Scott…"

"I'll suggest a bicycle." (Incorrect).

"Mr. Spock, we must be careful. We have two strikes so if we are incorrect, the other team can steal and win."

"The Transcontinental Railroad." (Correct)

"Trains!"

"Miss Pearl – "

"You may call me Lieutenant McCann."

Dan looked at her for a moment, processing what was said and why; and she stared at him.

"Lt. McCann, give us the correct answer to win!"

After taking a deep breath, Pearl offered her perception of how people might have heard the question: "Mary. Todd. Lincoln."

The audience response was uproariously loud and filled with laughter. Her own teammates, in various order, looked shocked and delighted simultaneously, and when neither Scotty nor Bones could face the audience, but were only able to blush and avoid direct eye contact, it approached out of hand funny.

Sarek inquired about the meaning of this idiom.

/Aduna, I do not understand this answer./

/Ah, my Love…you have done this to me regularly./

He sincerely did not get it.

/Sarek cha Skon cha Solkar. You and I have done this with delighted abandon for the duration of our marriage.

After a sharp glance at the invocation of his full name, he realized what she meant. /Understood, K'diwa./

Dan commented, "for six games, one of the nicest, squarest teams I have ever met. Suddenly game six he has ridden a donkey, now he is riding Ms. Lincoln!"

"Riding that thang Mrs. Lincoln got!"

Pearl decided to point at the screen when it confirmed her answer... purely for ridiculous drama, and the Periodic Table Dancers swept six games and earned a bonus for Pearl winning the overall two-day adventure for their time there: 120,000 credits.

Even though they had won, Pearl was noticeably quiet as she was going over everything that had happened, and felt she had bitten off more than she could chew. Dr. McCoy and Scotty stood with her more like protective big brothers than shipmates. The Periodic Table Dancers managed to return to the Enterprise before Dan could find them.

As they stepped off the transport, she mentioned to Nyota and Christine that she needed to wash the disgust and shame off from the day. She walked to her quarters and stepped into her washroom, turning the shower on, and stepping into a blisteringly hot water stream.

She ran through the past two days, and she tried to process why it had gone the way it had. She was confused, and the longer she thought the more concern began to build. She had seen not only the crew members there, but the captain, and not one, not two, but three diplomatic delegations sitting WITH the captain. It suddenly occurred to her that she might receive anything from a disciplinary action, up to a tribunal.

She debated herself on whether she had fallen victim to another one of the classic blunders… EVERYONE knew not to get involved in a land war in Asia, and never go in against a Sicilian when death was on the line… but the third and lesser understood was avoid getting involved in shenanigans when someone with higher rank can do it. The timer for the shower pinged, giving her 90 seconds to wrap up.

After getting dried off and back in uniform, she was reading two days of messages and reports from her department, she realized she had not eaten all day, as her stomach rumbled loudly. As she considered where and what to eat the intercom whistled with her name and orders to report to Briefing Room 3, Deck 5. She acknowledged the orders and made her way there. She wondered if she could get a ride to Vulcan but was not relying on anything. At this point she hoped to eat something before she would have to leave.

Nyota stood in the hallway outside, pacing a bit, knowing it would be frightening to walk into a room full of officers while not knowing why they were waiting for her. She perked up when Pearl came around the corner.

"Hey Pearl, how are you doing?"

"I 'm ok. The shower helped. Do you have any idea what's going on? Did I screw up?"

"I do not think you did, no, and I am so sorry for how this turned out. I have never seen one of those go that way, ever," she said, with a hug.

Pearl made certain her uniform was impeccable, and entered the room to find the captain, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott Lt. Uhura, and the Terran, Vulcan, and Vulcan diplomatic delegations. This did not look good.

"Lieutenant Karen McCann, reporting as ordered, Captain," she spoke directly, at rapt attention. If she were leaving the crew, she would do so with exemplary military comportment and style. She chose a spot on the bulkhead just behind Kirk's head and waited silently. She could feel the eyes of her Vulcan family, particularly Sarek. Her reading of the room was confusing.

Kirk spoke first. "Lt. McCann, it is of utmost importance that a safe place be made available to all personnel aboard the vessel I command. That includes activities, and shore leave."

"Understood, Sir."

Kirk spoke up. "Lieutenant I am responsible for what you encountered today. I allowed your entire team to participate in a competition that caused stress for your entire team."

She looked very confused. Spock looked at her directly. "Lt. McCann, do you believe this to be a disciplinary hearing?

She met him eye to eye and responded. "Aye, Sir. I can deduce no other possibility. I failed to represent this ship, its crew and complement, and its leadership correctly. I am prepared to accept the disciplinary action chosen.

Kirk spoke directly. "Lieutenant, this is not a disciplinary hearing. Primarily, this is a time of acknowledgement, not only for what you accomplished, but for your comportment you demonstrated when that nitwit resorted to severely inappropriate tactics with you. You managed him, directly and to the point. Oh, and for what it is worth, you can hear his hip squeak. Do you have anything You wish to say?"

She stood quietly for a moment, and then offered a thoughtful reply. "I meant what I said about my semi-annual phaser qualification, Sir," she said, as a round of applause rang out. "Captain, our team earned a respectable reward for the past few days work. I want none of my share at all. I would rather it be split amongst the team or something, but I have no interest in it."

Uhura answered Pearl's statement. "Understandable. I will address what to do with our filthy lucre in a moment. Ambassador Folvid?"

Folvid stood and addressed the gathered. "Ms. Uhura, are we ready?"

Uhura nodded as the bosun's whistle sounded throughout the ship, garnering the attention of all on board.

"I am Folvid, Ambassador of Andor. Much like many of you, I attended the games show that several of your officers participated over the past two days. Many of you saw the host become unnecessarily hostile toward Lieutenant McCann. I believe all of us can agree that interaction became aggressive, and unreasonably abusive against your shipmate, and it dove deeply into areas of her life that should have remained private, only shared should she chose.

"The other delegations – being from Vulcan and Earth – have spoken openly in fair conference about these abuses of the lieutenant. We have arrived at unanimous conclusion."

Ambassador Sutton, of Earth, spoke next. "After watching what has always been a friendly game of banter become an act of verbal assault, we discussed the implications such assault would have on future players. While Lieutenant McCann navigated that hostility with precision and heightened skill, we began to question how other participants would fair against such intensity. Which version of the host will they encounter?"

Sarek spoke clearly and succinctly. "To that end we wish to inform you we will issue a warning to the citizens we represent on our prospective home world to use caution when choosing the activities available at Risa Station."

Kirk wrapped up the meeting. "During the 20th century there was a poet for whom I hold the highest regard. Her name was Maya Angelou. In one of her writings, she warned us…she said that people will show us who they truly were, and we were to heed that warning. This game show has changed, and the host has shown us who he truly is. I agree strongly with the diplomatic delegations because we now know what to expect from them. Thank you for supporting your crewmates, and for always reflecting the highest standards Star Fleet expects of each of you."

Scotty looked up and down the table and spoke after a moment. "We have one last obligation, and it feels as one now: the winnings. What does he group wish to do?"

"I don't want a single credit," Pearl said. "I'll donate mine to something."

Each team member agreed. Bones thought for a moment. "What about polling the crew and seeing what they would like? I just got a requests for more exercise equipment."

Uhura perked up. "I now at least three who asked about a piano."

Jim looked at Spock. "I'd like you to organize a list of items the crew would enjoy. Remember back at K7? The Klingon who complained about not having luxuries on board?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Let's give him some more to be jealous of. A rested, happy crew is productive. Lieutenant? I want to personally tell you that it made me proud to watch you give that "individual" hell. You did a fantastic job, even if he modeled a level of indecency I have only heard of in my life. I meant what I said about providing a safe space. That is for you, too.

"Oh, there is one other issue, Lt. McCann. Considering your efforts over the past few days, you are required to report for any trivia contests. Our team will be incomplete otherwise."

"Understood, Sir," Pearl answered with the first smile they had seen in a while.

Scotty stood and rubbed his stomach. He walked over to Pearl and invited her to join him for dinner at the best food processor he knew of. As they laughed, walking away, Jim walked up to Spock and Amanda while Sarek was engaged in more diplomatic conversations.

"Lady Amanda, did I just see them skip away together?"

"I don't know about skipping away, as I have always seen your engineer married to this ship. But they do look like good friends in he making, and I don't think it is ever possible to have too many excellent friends."