A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 6: If You Won't Quit

The following afternoon, after Emmet had remained at his sister's bedside all morning with Frank and Gail, he decided to go to the hospital cafeteria for some lunch. Afterwards, on his way back to the ICU, he passed the hospital chapel. And for some reason, some little inkling in his gut told him that he should turn back and go inside, so he did. And just a couple of moments after he sat down in the back pew of the small empty chapel, one of the nurses also came inside, a lovely, short, slim Latina lady in her late twenties with long black hair and bangs and brown eyes, who had been tending to his sister over the past couple of days. Her name was Gracie Garcia.

"Hello, Nurse Garcia," Emmet said with a kind smile which she returned.

"Is it alright if I sit with you?" she asked.

"Oh, please. Please," Emmet responded, and in the next moment, she sat down beside him.

"And how many times have I told you to call me Gracie?" she lovingly scolded.

"I'm sorry. I keep forgetting."

"That's alright. I know you've got a lot on your mind right now."

"True. So what are doing in here?"

"I just got a feeling while I was on my break that I needed to come in here for some reason. Is that what brought you in here?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it is."

"Maybe God wants our attention right now."

"Maybe so."

Do you go to church a lot?" Gracie asked.

"Oh, yes. Liz and I go every Sunday. And whenever our local church has any sort of function, we never miss it. I think a lot of it has to do with how we were raised. Both of our parents and all our grandparents were big churchgoers. And Christians."

"I know what you mean. People often make the mistake of believing that churchgoers and born-again Christians are one and the same, but that's not always true. There are a lot of people in this world who like to use church as their local country club; who only go to be seen by the rest of the town, or simply because it's the best way to get out of the house and socialize with their friends."

"You're quite right. Unfortunately, ever since my divorce, I've fallen into that category. And I think Liz has too. Especially since her husband took that job transfer and relocated to Saudi Arabia."

"That's not an uncommon thing in our faith, sadly. People start off well. They repent of their unbelief and put their faith in Christ, in His shed blood on the cross to pay for all their sins. And then after salvation, they get off to a great start in discipleship. But then when painful trials come – which Jesus, Himself, warned would happen – they get disillusioned and they become distant from Christ. And going to church is no longer about worshiping Jesus and getting closer to Him. It's just a place to socialize, nothing more."

Emmet chuckled a bit and said, "You're starting to sound like my parents, especially my mother. If there was ever any one thing in life our mother was passionate about, it was making certain that people understood the difference between salvation and discipleship. Even back in her day, professing Christians and churches everywhere were horrible about blurring the line between eternal life and discipleship when preaching the gospel."

"Sounds like both our mothers were cut from the same cloth, because she felt the same way. My parents used to be Catholic, but thanks to a young evangelist who moved into their town a few months after they got married, they learned the cold, hard truth. That Catholicism, just like Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and every other false religion out there, preaches a false gospel of faith plus works to get into heaven. Even most Protestant evangelicals don't know to differentiate between salvation and discipleship when preaching the gospel, which is why there's so much confusion out there. Confusion that Satan is the author of. In one breath, Christians will quote John 3:16, and in the next breath, they'll say that you have to count the cost, carry your cross, and follow Jesus. But there is no cost, no cost whatsoever, to eternal life. Eternal salvation is completely, utterly, one hundred percent free, while discipleship is very costly, and can even cost a born-again believer their earthly life. After a person repents – not of their sins, but of their unbelief – and puts their faith in the shed blood of Jesus at the cross to pay for all their sins, they have a choice to make. They have to decide whether or not they're going to obey Christ's call to spend the rest of their earthly life serving Him in discipleship, always striving to put Christ and others before themselves in everything they do – or to disobey Christ's call to discipleship and spend the rest of their earthly life putting themselves first instead. If they choose to disobey, they open themselves up to being disciplined by Father God, just as an earthly father must discipline a disobedient child, and they lose whatever eternal rewards they could have earned through their service to Christ here on earth, but they never lose their salvation, because if they did, that would mean that salvation is at an earned reward for living a Godly life and not a free, undeserved gift. But nothing could be farther from the truth."

"I know. I couldn't agree more. And I've believed in Christ ever since I was young. So has Liz. But when my ex-wife, whom I loved with everything I had in me, suddenly ran off with another man and filed for divorce, I just felt so hurt and angry at God for allowing that to happen that I grew distant from Him. I just couldn't understand it. I certainly haven't been perfect, but I've always tried, all my life, to be a good, kind, decent person and live like Jesus would want me to live. So if He really loves me so much, how could He let my heart get shattered like that? What did I do to deserve having my whole world turned upside down like that? I think Liz has been going through something similar ever since her husband moved to Saudi Arabia. And what did Elizabeth ever do to deserve the hell she's going through right now? What did Elizabeth ever do to warrant getting hit by a drunk driver? Where is God in all of this hurt and pain and devastation and insanity?"

"Right beside you, holding your hand and walking through it with you. Don't let the hard times drive you away from the Lord, Emmet, because it's during terrible times like these that we need His presence in our lives the most. You have to remember that Jesus never promised any of us a happy, easy, comfortable life. So many people make the terrible mistake of assuming that having an easy, comfortable life on earth is a sign of God's love and blessing. But it's not. In fact, having a life that's constantly soft and easy is one of the worst things that could happen to us, because anyone living that kind of a life is destined to become weak and shallow and spoiled, without any true gratitude or character. Whether we like it or not, our heavenly Father is far more concerned about our character than He is about our comfort zone. It's so easy to fall into the satanic trap of believing that God allows us to go through painful trials because He doesn't love us, but that is a lie from the lowest pit of hell. It's through the trials that we learn life's most important lessons, like empathy and compassion and inner-strength and patience and perseverance.

"Furthermore, as far as your sister and your ex-wife are concerned, you have to remember that God gave us all free will. He loved us too much to make us into a race of robots who couldn't think and reason for ourselves and make our own choices. Your ex-wife chose to break your marriage vows and your heart because she has God-given free will, and God didn't override her free will and force her to stay faithful to you and force her to stay married to you because if He had, that would've been an act of spiritual rape. And the same thing goes for that kid who chose to get behind the wheel of his mother's van after drinking when he knew better. God's not any happier than you are that your sister is going through all this. As a matter of fact, I do believe it's hurting Him even more than it's hurting you. God doesn't like it any more than we do when somebody uses their God-given gift of free will to make sinful and selfish decisions that hurt others. But that is simply what comes with the territory when people are given free will and the ability to think for themselves and make their own choices. As hellish as this whole situation is, I think you'd even choose this over your sister having to be a soulless robot with no mind or personality of her own, who cannot think for herself."

"You're right. I would," Emmet admitted, and then he sighed. "Even though I've been so angry at God for allowing this to happen to Liz, I know deep down that you're absolutely right about everything that you're saying. And I know that I need Him now. I really do."

"Jesus has always been with you and Liz, Emmet, ever since you came to faith in Him as children. And He's not going anywhere. No matter what it looks like or how it feels right now, God never abandons His children. Never. He has not left you or forsaken you, regardless of what your circumstances might seem to suggest right now. Because we live in a fallen world, our circumstances are often going to be painful and difficult, and that's why we simply cannot judge God's love for us based on what our circumstances look like. There is always, always so much more to the story than what meets the eye. Just look at what Joseph went through in the book of Genesis. When he was sold into slavery by his very own brothers and wrongfully imprisoned in Egypt for a crime he didn't commit, I don't doubt it that he had some days when he felt very unloved and forgotten by God, but he never was. Not for a single moment. It was all part of God's plan to use him to save many lives during the years of famine that came upon the land later on. And remember the story of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus? Remember how when Lazarus became deathly ill and Jesus was informed, He didn't rush to His friend's bedside to heal him. He waited until it was seemingly too late, but He only did that so that He could perform an even greater miracle than it would've been for Him to simply heal Lazarus before he died; so that people would realize that He is the Messiah the Jewish people had been waiting for and come to faith in Him.

"I know this is a tough lesson to learn. It's a lesson I still struggle with at times. When I was eighteen and I was still living in the States with my parents, I married my high school sweetheart right after graduation. I was so young and naïve and foolish. I really did believe that I'd found my Mr. Right early in life and that we were going to have this happy, wonderful, perfect life together. But when I got pregnant with our son Gabriel one year later, he made it quite clear that he didn't want anything to do with being a father, and he left us."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Gracie. I'm so sorry. That's horrible."

"Thank you, but it's okay. As badly as it hurt me, I eventually realized that when he ran out on us and filed for a divorce, he was actually doing Gabriel and me a favor in the long-run. It probably would hurt us both a whole lot worse had he stayed and tried to make it work without his heart being in it. He probably would've come to hate and resent us both, which in turn would've caused us a lot more pain and heartache than just his absence would. I just can't thank God enough for my parents. After Eddie left, they let me come back home, and they supported Gabe and me as much as they could while I worked my way through college and got my bachelor's degree in nursing. And when my father's company wanted to transfer him here to England, he and Mom invited Gabe and me to come with them, and I just couldn't say no. I couldn't bear to be too far away from them, and I know Gabe couldn't. When I was nineteen years-old and pregnant and abandoned by my husband, I felt much the same way you're feeling now. I just couldn't understand how God could allow that to happen to me if He really loved me so much. But now that I have Gabriel in my life, and a closer and stronger bond with my parents than ever before, I know I wouldn't trade anything for it, and I couldn't be more grateful to the Almighty that everything turned out the way that it did.

"I know how hard and painful it can be when everything appears to go completely off the rails and nothing makes any sense and it sure doesn't look like God cares very much. But regardless if it's in this life or the next, there will come a time when these crazy trials that sure don't make a whole lot of sense to you in the moment actually will make sense. And you will come to understand how God really was right there in the midst of it all, right there by your side the entire time, working all things together for your good. You just have to hang in there and keep fighting and refuse to give up on God no matter how tough it gets. It's like my father's told me dozens of times through the years: if you won't quit, eventually, the devil will."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Jesus didn't quit and give into the devil's temptation after fasting forty days and forty nights, and eventually, the devil gave up and left Him alone for a while. I guess I have to be the same way now and refuse to give up on God and on Liz, regardless of how things might look at the moment."

"Don't try to resist the enemy in your own strength, Emmet, because if you try to do it that way, you'll never be able to pull it off. Lean on Jesus and depend on Him to give you the supernatural strength you'll need to resist the temptation to give into despair and give up."

"Noted. Thank you, Gracie. You really have given me so much to think about. And you've been a very big help. I appreciate it."

"You're more than welcome. I'm praying for you and your sister every day. I want you to know that."

"Thank you so much."

Gracie smiled, and then she told Emmet, "I'll get out of here now so you can have some time alone with the Lord. I'll see you later."

Emmet returned her smile and gave her a nod, and in the next moment, Gracie left Emmet alone in the chapel with his thoughts and with his prayers.