Chapter 23: Baby, Bang It Up Inside
Moira had tried to make the medbay as comfortable as possible for her precious experiment after Val passed out on his mission. His cold, it turns out, was not just a cold. What exactly it was, the doctor wasn't sure, all Val knew was that it was very aggressive, and attacking his lungs.
Sombra and Gabriel had paid him a visit in the medbay, a chair on either side of his bed as they watched basketball on one of Sombra's screens. He seemed to be in high spirits, in spite of how pale he appeared now. During a commercial, Sombra took the opportunity to ask questions.
"So, it's not lung cancer?"
Val shrugged. "She said that was the first thing she thought, but I'm not responding to the treatment."
"But she doesn't know," Sombra said.
"She doesn't want to explain it to me, but the way it's dancing with my body, it looks like cancer on a scan, but there's no way it can just be lung cancer."
"Sounds like a bunch of crap," Gabriel said, feeling his phone start to ring again, promptly ignoring it. Moira had been calling him for the past ten minutes, and he simply could not be bothered. He was right there in the med bay. She could find him if she bothered checking on her patient.
"She said it was complicated because it had to do with the super soldier serum I'm on."
"I think she just doesn't want to have to explain it to you, she'd rather be holed up in her lab." Gabriel looked over at Val, who looked down at his hands sadly, then sighed. "She'll figure it out. She's just too preoccupied with curing you to do silly things like check if you're alive."
Speak of the devil, Moira came into the medbay just as they were about to start watching the game again.
She looked up from her clipboard and paused, making eye-contact with Gabriel who nodded at her. Her expression shifted from confusion to anger.
"You, Reyes," she pointed at Gabriel. "Do not ignore my calls like that. My office, immediately. "
He gave Val and Sombra a wide-eyed look, wondering what she could possibly want to speak with him about so urgently. She was disproportionately upset for this to be about a few phone calls. He got up from his chair to follow her.
In the office, Moira closed the blinds first. As soon as they were closed, she turned to glare at him furiously, crossing her arms over her chest.
"What did you do?" she asked. Gabriel gave her a confused stare, waiting for her to elaborate. "Do not make me ask again Gabriel, I am furious with you right now."
"What the hell did I do?"
"Don't play stupid, you had something to do with this. I only needed time to prove it." She tapped her foot at him, waiting.
Gabriel scoffed. "I don't have time for this, you sound like a conspiracy nut," he said, about to turn around and walk out of the office.
"Explain to me what this is then." Moira reached into her lab coat, pulling out a small vial, holding it up for him to see. He turned to look at what she could possibly be trying to show him.
Gabriel froze in his tracks.
It was a sample of what looked like, well him. At least the black vapor that trailed off of him every time he destabilized, floating around in the tiny glass tube.
"Care to guess where I got this from?" she asked.
He stayed silent as he thought for a second. He didn't want to guess, but his eyes gave him away. They drifted over to the blinds Val lay waiting behind for just a second. She noticed. Moira clasped her hand around the vial as soon as he did, shoving it back in her pocket.
"Precisely. Now that we are on the same page, let me ask again." She stepped towards him. "What did you do to my boy?"
Gabriel's mind raced. He hadn't seen him for weeks before their last mission, there's no way. But Val thought it was just a cold. The cold he got in Las Vegas, when they were, let's say fraternizing, on the High Roller. It was a possibility that Gabriel didn't want to admit, but it was right there in front of him.
"I don't know," he answered.
"Convenient. Allow me to illustrate why it might be wise for you to start talking. The two of you were together, and when you separate, I find necrotic tissue in his lungs and your smoke particles." She leaned forward, getting close to his face. "If I didn't need you for testing, I would kill you where you stand."
"Moira, we just got back together." Gabriel covered his eyes. He didn't want to talk about his relationship with Moira of all people, and he certainly didn't want to be accused of trying to kill the guy. Besides, if he wanted him dead, there were better ways to do it.
"That won't be how it looks when he's dead. Now what happened? When? Did you do this on purpose?"
Gabriel moved his hand to glare at her.
"Why would you ask me that?"
"I assume you'll insist this was an accident, which I won't believe due to my earlier reasoning. This wasn't due to long term exposure, not with how fast he's declining. Either something happened, or you did this purposefully."
Gabriel glared at her silently.
"How fast?" he asked.
"He might have a week, perhaps a month. I can't say now that the serum I was working on is cleared from his system."
Gabriel started to sweat. He hated that her hunches were always right.
"I didn't know it would do that," he said, rubbing his forehead.
Her eyebrow started to twitch.
Gabriel tried to defend himself.
"I didn't think it would hurt him."
She clenched her jaw, and through her teeth, she said, "I am going to kill you. How long has that been in there?"
"Vegas."
There wasn't any point in lying now. Moira took a deep breath, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I'll take it out." Gabriel said.
She opened her eyes to glare at him.
"Absolutely not, you are not going within a kilometer of that boy ever again, do you understand?" she said, raising her voice. "And you say I'm mad, you're deranged!"
"I was just keeping tabs on him."
"What could you possibly glean from doing something so insane as leaving what is essentially a piece of yourself inside his lungs?"
"It just lets me know he's alive." Gabriel looked at the closed blinds to the medbay. "That's all."
"Well he won't be alive for much longer, thanks to you. I have to attempt to extract that vapor from his lungs." She gestured aggressively toward the door. "Get out."
"Let me do it."
"You stay the hell away from him." She dug a finger into his chest to highlight her point. "Your stalking tendencies have done quite enough damage."
"You won't be able to get it all out without me."
"I don't care," she snarled. "You're lucky to still be breathing as of now."
Of course, Gabriel doesn't take orders from anyone, especially Moira. He looked over at the medbay door. Since the office is connected straight to the medbay, well, that didn't stop Gabriel from marching right in, Moira storming after him.
He rushed up to a pale and washed out Val, grabbing his sunken in cheeks.
"I need you to cough," he said. Val furrowed his brow at him. "I know, just do it." Moira approached the bed, angrily observing, but not stopping him.
Val, his face still in hand, forced a small cough. Gabriel nodded for him to keep going. He forced another, before it turned into a couple of real coughs. Then Val kept coughing, clearing his throat until more coughing came. He leaned forward, steam starting to emanate from his mouth. He turned red, unable to catch his breath, starting to choke.
Gabriel held his other hand to Val's lips. "Spit it out, it's fine." Val obliged.
Black sludge emerged from his mouth as he coughed, vapor trailing upwards as it hit Gabriel's hand.
It only took a minute, and he was done, Val catching his breath from the choking fit. Gabriel wiped his hand on his pants, then gave Moira a glare.
"What was that?" Sombra asked, having watched the whole scene in horror. Gabriel chose not to respond.
"Get out. Now," Moira demanded.
Val cleared his throat and looked up at Gabriel, his eyes still watering, then reached out to grab Gabriel's wrist. Gabriel didn't take his eyes off of Val.
"Gabriel," Moira hissed at him, growing impatient. Val turned to Moira in confusion.
Gabriel needed to leave. He grabbed Val's head and quickly pressed his lips to the top of it.
"I'm sorry," Gabriel whispered.
He turned to leave. Of course, not before hearing a very hoarse voice call after him.
"Gabriel?" Val said, as he walked out the door.
With that, he didn't see Val for weeks.
In fact, no one saw Gabriel. He vanished from the base, and if they went to his apartment they would find it empty. While Moira was going to be concerned with finding him of course, he made it a habit of disappearing whenever he felt like he wanted a week off or so. Akande wasn't worried about him coming back, he knew he would. He had nowhere else to go.
It wasn't like it was hard to find him, all they had to do was open Martina's attic. They'd also find her missing cans of food that he'd been helping himself to. Sorry Martina, that one isn't the dementia, but a guy's gotta eat. Well, a guy whose body feeds off of soul energy, debatably, doesn't have to eat. But souls were sorely lacking in the Reyes household, so refried beans it was.
Having finally gotten bored of re-reading his copy of V for Vendetta he found lying around in the attic, he grabbed his flashlight, and went rummaging. There had to be a box of books he could entertain himself with. Having been up here for so long he no longer really cared about being quiet at this point, making noise moving boxes around was the least of his worries. He was going stir crazy and needed something to do.
First box, Junior's old Halloween costumes.
"Cute, wonder why those are on top," Gabriel thought.
He recalled sewing those for Junior. Martina didn't know how to sew, and Gabriel refused to pay store bought costume prices, so he took it upon himself to make them. His kid was the most gangster dressed trick-or-treater every year, by far. He closed the box and moved it aside.
Next box. Crochet supplies, and some finished crochet projects.
"If I recall Martina, you said crochet was the ugliest thing next to your ex-boyfriend. Why do you have a whole box of this stuff?"
Gabriel shook his head, closing the box and moving it aside.
"It's like I don't even know you anymore," he joked mentally.
Next box. Graduation cap and gown, some senior photos. Why didn't one of those two label these?
"Junior's girlfriend must have come with him to take care of Martina, this is all her stuff," he thought, seeing the pink graduation cap on top of the track trophies and not digging further. Considering Junior was a little choir boy at heart, this most certainly wasn't his son's stuff.
Next box. Baby hand-me-downs from Junior, mixed with some newer stuff they bought for the grandbaby.
"Damn, how old is she now? 10, 12? It's been years since the last birthday I went to."
Gabriel lamented on the fact that it was cliche to not remember how old your grandkids were, but at least most people got yearly reminders. He shook his head, figuring it silly. Junior and his family were doing just fine without him.
Next box. Old family photo albums. There was a brand new one set on top that caught Gabriel's eye. The ornate cover holding a picture of Junior in a black tuxedo, and his girlfriend, in a pearly white ball gown.
Junior's wedding photos.
"I guess she's not his girlfriend anymore," Gabriel thought, staring at the cover for a good while, debating if he wanted to open it. He decided not to touch it. He didn't need to know.
After rummaging through a few more boxes, mainly of Junior's old college textbooks, he finally found a box in the corner with some fiction books he could entertain himself with.
He got comfortable in the corner he situated for himself, behind a tall stack of boxes in case anyone came in unexpectedly, and started reading, tiny flashlight in hand.
He'd been reading for a good while, and was so engrossed in his book that the sound of the attic door opening made him jump. He clicked off the flashlight, and got ready to bolt, like he always did. He forgot that other people lived here for a moment. Peeking suspiciously through the boxes, he saw Junior come into the attic space. Hanging on his neck, was a toddler Gabriel hadn't seen before. Gabriel tilted his head.
"Babysitting?" he thought, theorizing about the brown haired child he didn't recognize.
"Okay, let's see if we can find your sister's old clothes before the spiders eat me," Junior said, setting the toddler down next to him.
"I killed all the spiders already," Gabriel thought, before processing what Junior said.
He'd had another kid.
That explained why she had his eyes. Gabriel looked away, only listening to see if Junior came closer to his hiding spot. His son found what he was looking for, talking to what sounded like a very clingy toddler the whole time, then left without incident.
Gabriel sat and stared at the cardboard box in front of him, having a bit of a moment of realization after going through all of those boxes. None of his stuff was still up here.
This wasn't his house anymore, was it?
He looked down, kicking one of his empty cans of food out of the way.
"Why am I here?"
Feeling pathetic for having gone this long holed up in someone else's house, he rubbed his face, and thought about all of the personal belongings he just went through. Really, this wasn't his family anymore, that was the gist of it, and it was sad of him to pretend like they were.
He was running away from his problems, like he always did. Things got too heavy and he decided to run away. And now, he really did have nowhere to go, because even his house wasn't his own anymore. He didn't recognize the people living here, and there's no way in hell they would recognize the man he had become.
He needed to head back to base. He was sure they were expecting him back soon, they always did. He didn't have anywhere else to go.
Reaper entered the meeting room where the Talon heads were to convene. He saw Doomfist seated next to Val, having a discussion while they waited on everyone to arrive. He approached the two, earning a side eye from Val before being ignored.
"Welcome back, help yourself to a seat," Doomfist said.
"The meeting's about to start," Reaper said, looking down at Val in particular.
"Okay?" Val gave a side eye and turned his chair away. They still hadn't talked since he came back, that probably explained the attitude.
"You're in my seat," Gabriel stated. It was time for Val to leave anyway, he didn't come to these meetings, he always told Doomfist no.
"Not anymore, it's my seat now."
"Since when?"
"Since you left."
Reaper tilted his head. He looked at Doomfist, who only shrugged at him. Nice one Akande.
"Pull up a chair." Akande gestured to one of the empty chairs in the room, and Reaper sighed.
So he did, pulling a chair up next to Val. The two sat in on the meeting, listening quietly to Akande talk. Reaper tuned out most of the discussion. He was a little out of his element still, he did just get back to base. He gave a glance from behind his mask over over to Val, who stared forward at the wall. Reaper wondered if that was because he was mad. Well, of course he still had to be mad, Gabriel did almost kill him and then leave without a word. But did he always tune out the meetings? No one seemed to be seeking much input from Val, who simply nodded along or stared at the wall.
Val turned his head slightly when Maximillien started speaking, rather than actually turning to make eye contact. Considering that Reaper was sitting between the two, he took that as a good sign it was him that was being ignored, not the meeting.
The heads all took their turns talking, not that Reaper took much care to listen, this could've been an email. Then the meeting was over. That was quick, thankfully. Reaper glanced at Val again. Why bother having Val here with all the work he already did if he didn't participate?
"Before we dismiss, pass V your lists," Akande said. Ah, now he would see him do something.
Each head slid a tablet across the table to Val. He went through them one by one, transferring files with practiced ease before sliding them back.
"Okay, I got them," Val said, looking over his tablet.
The meeting was dismissed, Val picking up his tablet and standing, before waiting for the rest of the Talon heads to leave. Val left out the meeting door, Reaper following closely behind. As Val walked down the hall on his tablet, Reaper caught up to walk beside him, curious about what he was looking at.
"What do they have you working on?"
"Hmm?" Val looked up. "Oh, disciplinary hearings, as Akande calls them." He looked to the side, holding the tablet against his chest while he spoke.
"Sounds like a lot of paperwork."
"Yeah, something like that." Val looked down at the ground.
"How are you feeling?" Gabriel tried to ask.
"Fine, now," Val answered. It was quiet for a minute as they walked together, before Val sighed. "I really need to get on these, did you need something?"
Another air of silence followed as Val waited for Gabriel's reply.
"No, I'll leave you to it."
Val nodded in disappointment.
The two parted ways.
Val looked down at his list. He started with the people on base today, then went off base the next. If he got it done as quickly as possible he wouldn't have to think about it. There weren't this many names on his list normally.
First name on the list, Soap. Val let out a deep sigh. He made his way to the air-ship hangar hoping not to find him. Of course, as luck would have it, he found Soap in the hangar waiting for flight checks. While Soap was out of earshot, Val stopped to speak with one of the flight mechanics.
"Hey, cancel the rest of his flight checks, I have to talk to him."
"How long's it gonna be? We can wait," the mechanic said.
Val shook his head. "Just go ahead and cancel them."
The mechanic shrugged.
"Soap!" Val called out. The rookie turned and smiled, waving when he saw who it was. Val gave a half-hearted smile back and waved, walking over.
"Hi! What's up? How are you feeling?" Soap asked.
Val swallowed and looked at the ground. "I need to talk to you outside."
"Okay, what about?"
"I'll tell you when we get outside, walk with me." Val waved for him to follow, and they started walking through the hangar.
"How have you been feeling? Have they let you back on the field yet?" Soap asked, trying to make small talk.
Val stared at his boots as he walked, not wanting to make eye contact. He put his arm on Soap's shoulders, faking a smile.
"Better, and no, not yet," Val answered politely, wishing he could avoid the small talk.
He hated this fucking job.
He finished his list for the day, and Val was able to head back to the housing block. He really wanted to shower.
As Val walked in the door, Gabriel was sitting on the couch and looked up. He gave a wide eyed stare, Val's shirt stained dark, knuckles and face covered in blood, Val simply continuing to his room.
"Are you okay?" Gabriel asked, standing up.
"It's not my blood," Val said simply, pausing for a second, having forgotten he was covered in the stuff. He tried to wipe some of the blood off of his face, to little success.
"What happened?" Gabriel asked.
"Nothing, I was working," Val answered, then headed to the kitchen.
Water splashed across the sink, Val waiting for it to steam before he rinsed off his face and hands. Brick colored water rinsed down the drain, eventually turning clear, then he used the dish soap to wash his hands and arms for a good minute. After washing, he inspected his now clean hands. He could still feel the blood on his knuckles. Gabriel came up to him in the kitchen as he washed them again.
"What happened? Are you alright?" Gabriel asked.
"My job happened. Why do you keep asking me that?" Val looked at Gabriel.
"You don't seem alright. You came back covered in blood, you said you were doing that list."
"That was my list. I deal with the insubordinates," he said, and finished washing. He looked at his hands while the water was still on. He decided to wash them again. The hot water felt nice on his skin.
"They have you doing their grunt work."
"Yeah," Val said, cleaning under his already clean nails.
"And you're okay with that? I heard someone say you put MacTavish in the infirmary." Gabriel decided to lean against the counter. "I didn't believe them, I thought you liked him."
"I don't get a choice, it was part of me taking your seat." Val started scrubbing his hands aggressively.
"Why did you take it then? You never wanted it before."
"Because you left. Someone had to pick up your slack." Val stopped scrubbing his hands, shaking them off and crossing his arms as he finally looked at Gabriel. "And, now you're back and want to pretend everything is normal."
Of course, as soon as Val turned, Gabriel looked away.
"You're right, it's not." Gabriel paused for a moment. "I didn't know how to talk to you, I figured you would be mad at me."
"A little, but I didn't expect you to not want to talk about anything. You just left me in the infirmary and want to come back like we don't have to talk."
Gabriel looked down at the ground, and let out a deep breath.
"How are you feeling? You look a lot better," Gabriel asked, not meeting his eyes.
"Fine enough to work." Val rubbed his arms, recalling his, mostly mentally, taxing recovery after the other left. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Gabriel, Moira said you put something in my lungs."
Gabriel averted his gaze again, not answering right away.
"Can I ask what she said?" he asked, forthcoming as ever.
"I want you to tell me your version." Moira had explained, but Val wanted to know what Gabriel would try to say when he didn't have a precedent to follow.
Gabriel put a hand over his eyes and took a deep breath. He stood like that for a moment before he moved his hand.
Finally, he answered, "I left my smoke in your lungs so I could keep an eye on you. I had no idea it would do that."
Val nodded slowly. Then he asked, "How long was that in there?"
"Since Vegas, I worry about you. I had no idea what would happen, or I wouldn't have done it." Gabriel still wouldn't look him in the eye.
"But you didn't tell me you put that there." Val swallowed, and curled in on himself. "Even after we weren't together for weeks, you left that in there." He felt his skin crawl.
"I know. Clearly I wasn't over it, and I never had a chance to take it out." Gabriel reached out to touch Val's forearm. "I really didn't think it would hurt you." Val brushed the other's hand off.
"It shouldn't have been there in the first place, but you were never going to say anything before I ended up in the med bay." Val looked at Gabriel staring at the ground instead of him and pinched the bridge of his nose. "As soon as things start to be ok between us you always have to ruin it."
"I'm sorry," Gabriel said quietly. "I tried to fix it."
"You can't just fix this Gabe. I keep asking you to be honest with me, and you won't. I can't handle it." Val rubbed his face, groaning, because he was starting to yell. "All we ever do is fight, and every time we do it just gets worse. How long until we end up killing each other? I can't do it anymore." Val started breathing heavily. His eyes were starting to water, and he wondered if he always cried this easily.
They stood in silence for a minute.
"We were just starting to be okay again," Gabriel said.
"Yeah," Val replied with his voice cracking.
Another bit of silence.
"What now?" Gabriel asked.
"I don't know." Val leaned against the counter, running a hand through his hair. "I really don't. I don't even know how to feel. I was so mad at you, but after a while I missed you so much it hurt."
Val rubbed his eyes as they started to blur.
It was silent for a bit again.
Gabriel asked, very quietly, "You missed me?"
"I was violated after Moira told me what you did. Then I felt like an idiot, because I kept waiting for you to come back. And now you're here and it's like you don't even give a shit if I lived or died." Val started to breathe hard, his eyes continuing to water. "Yes, I missed you. You're one of the only people I have to care if I die, of course I did."
"Val," Gabriel said sadly.
"You just left me there," Val said, his voice breaking as he started to cry.
Gabriel pulled him into his arms.
"I'm sorry." Gabriel stroked the other's hair as he spoke softly. "I'm so sorry."
Val grunted, hearing the cycle repeat. He shook his head, pushing Gabriel away.
Wiping his eyes, Val stood up straight and swallowed, breathing heavily. Val meant it when he said he couldn't do it anymore.
"You can't just fix this with an I'm sorry. You have to actually want to change, and if you wanted to change you would have already." Val sniffed, wiping his nose on his shirt.
Gabriel stared back at him, his mouth hanging open.
Val swallowed again, trying to hold back his tears. "I think Moira is right, at least right now, I need to stay away from you." Val looked down at the ground, frowning. "It's only when I'm with you that things go so horrible."
Gabriel stood silently for a minute. Val sniffed again, choking back his tears before Gabriel finally responded.
"I know I fucked up, but even when we weren't sleeping together, I liked having you around. I don't know how horrible that was." Gabriel shook his head as he continued. "It couldn't have been worse than whatever they've had you doing while I was gone."
"Don't." Val glared up at him. "Don't do that. Don't try to manipulate me."
Gabriel scoffed at the accusation. "I'm not the one manipulating you. You want someone to manipulate you? Go talk to Moira or Akande."
"Shut up," Val looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. He clenched his jaw, his eyes burning from tearing up. Gabriel tilted his head. Val didn't expect him to keep talking.
"You're acting like a prissy little teenager still, right back where you started. Those two treat you like a dog, but I'm horrible. At least I'm trying to apologize."
Tears started rolling down Val's cheeks again.
"All we do is fight. I don't want to end up throwing another coffee table at you." Val looked at the ground, ending with a very weak, "Please, just stay away from me."
Gabriel stopped talking.
He stared at Val for a while in silence again before he nodded a bit.
"Okay," was all Gabriel said, then he left the kitchen.
Val took a deep breath, and went to wash his face in the sink. He heard Gabriel head down the hallway, followed by the sound of a door opening and closing. When he finished washing his face, he left the kitchen to go to the restroom before going to bed.
At the door to the bathroom, he paused. He'd never realized how thin the door was.
He could hear Gabriel sobbing on the other side.
Val went to use the other bathroom, trying to hold back more tears, and then went to bed. He had more work to do the next day after all.