Asuka could feel Rei and Shinji's stares like physical weight. It sounded crazy, even to her. But at the same time...
Keel sighed. "On a trip to Antarctica fifteen years ago, field-testing the new research vessel, we got caught in a sudden electrical storm. All our instruments pointed to one bizarre energy source – all the readings were impossible. The safest thing to do would have been to head in the opposite direction."
Asuka snorted. "The safest thing would have been to not be in Antarctica in the first place. So, obviously not."
"You do sound like Kyoko," he observed, and Asuka flinched. Any other day that would have been a compliment.
Unlike Mama, I'm actually showing up for the person I care about.
Rei's hand slipped into hers and squeezed, and Asuka let out a breath of tension.
"So," she summoned her voice, "Then what happened?"
Keel's own voice was distant with memory. "Then we found Adam."
"Adam?" Shinji repeated, puzzled. "A – person? A guy?"
"Kaworu's parent, the progenitor of the Angels. A creature glowing with unearthly light, and cradling an infant that looked human."
"Looked human." Shinji's voice wavered.
Asuka's treacherous brain shouted, You made out with an alien!, and she had to throttle down an unhinged laugh.
Keel continued, "It gave the child to us, and disappeared. Our instruments and energy readings returned to normal, and the expedition returned from Antarctica with an extra passenger – one not of this world."
"That explains why he's such a weirdo, I guess," Asuka muttered. Shinji glowered at her.
Rei had other occupations. "How did you know?" she asked Keel, "that the Adam and Nagisa were from the moon? As opposed to an undocumented Earth creature."
Keel harrumphed. "Because Tabris – that is, Kaworu – told me, as soon as he was old enough to speak. Wilful little creature. The trouble he could have caused, the attention he would have caught, if people had heard or believed him – of course, I had to keep him contained until he learned some discretion."
"Keep him out of school and away from the world, you mean," Shinji interrupted, frowning. "He never even had friends, before us. He said so."
"There was no necessity for such things," Keel dismissed with a sharp wave. "Tabris was only going to be here as long as it took to find the other Angels, anyway."
Shinji's fists clenched. "That's harsh."
Rei's hand touched his wrist. "Nagisa has you now."
"Not if he's leaving," Shinji said brokenly, and Asuka felt a growl growing inside her at her friend's distress.
She turned on Keel. "What's Kaworu planning?" she demanded. "He's got all the Angels, now what?"
"Now they can summon Adam, and travel home together the same way they came – by moonlight."
"What is this fairytale crap?" Asuka huffed. To Keel she said, "So we know when it'll happen – moonrise. What about where?"
Keel shook his head. "That is as much as Tabris told me, or likely as much as he had planned."
Asuka scowled. Don't imply that Kaworu's a flake with no forward thinking. That's my job.
Rei was frowning at Keel, too, but when she spoke it was thoughtful. "What was that word you used earlier?" she asked Keel. "'Lilin'?"
"'Lilin', singular – 'Lilim', plural. The evolved life of this planet, in all its varietous kingdoms. Angels, including Adam and Tabris, are not Lilim."
Something went 'click' in Asuka's mind. Lilin – Lilith! "I know where they're going!" she blurted, and grabbed Rei and Shinji's hands. "C'mon!"
"You can't stop them," Keel grumped after her.
"Just watch me!" she returned, and Shinji lit up.
She smirked at him. "Like we're going to let him get away with just ditching you."
"Us," Shinji said loyally.
"Yeah, us!"
As Asuka bustled them away, Rei called over her shoulder, "Thank you for your assistance."
Keel grumbled something Asuka didn't hear.
Back they trooped to the birthday-present scooters, and then a long trip round to Mount Kumotori. The sun was already low in the sky, and shadows getting long – Asuka looked up the time for moonrise, and swore when she discovered that it was less than an hour away.
"Hurry!" she pushed, but the traffic was against them (and so were the speed limits, since both Rei and Shinji were, unsurprisingly, super cautious drivers).
Finally at Mt Kumotori, and as they chained the scooters Asuka scouted their route – the path from their excursion was publicly accessible, but they wanted to avoid interference by Professor Fuyutsuki and his staff.
At the entrance to the cave, with both Ikaris behind her, she realised Rei was flagging, her breath coming in heavy gasps.
A mix of concern, affection, admiration, and "dang this girl's got guts" swirled inside Asuka like rainbow gelato – sweet, but messy.
She settled for patting Rei's shoulder. "You two wait here." Her voice sounded rough from worry – she cleared her throat and added, "Okay?"
"It's unsafe for you to go by yourself," Rei said. "Take Shinji with you."
"It's unsafe for you to be out at night by yourself," Asuka argued. "Keep Shinji with you."
"It is early evening," Rei nitpicked. "And the first rule of spelunking is never to go alone."
"The place I'm going isn't dangerous. I remember how to get there, it's easy." Sort of...
"I can stay near the base camp," said Rei. "If I need to I can present to the park guard."
"Who'll ask questions," Asuka pointed out, "maybe send you home or call your parents. And they'd come after us."
"I'll stall them," Rei asserted. "I have had a lot of practice at occupying adults' attention."
Okay, yeah, that's true. Not that Asuka would concede that to her face. "I don't want you out in the wilderness in the pitch dark!"
She paused. It was pitch dark. When had that happened?
Looking away from Rei told her the answer – they were in the cave already, nearly at the nexus point where she and Kaworu had split off to find the Ramiel. The whole time she'd been arguing with Rei, they hadn't stopped moving, and were now nearly there.
"...You ninja'd me!" she exclaimed. "Your stealth is so advanced you got me to ninja myself, what the hell!"
Rei looked adorably – ahem, infuriatingly – pleased with herself. "I have had a lot of practice at occupying Asuka's attention."
How dare you. Asuka buried her head in her arms and screamed silently.
"What next, Asuka?" Rei prompted after a moment, and Asuka uncovered her face to narrow her eyes at her.
"Next..." She grabbed Rei's face and planted a kiss. "THAT. Is for being a smartass."
Rei reeled, eyes unfocused. "Oh. All right." A small dreamy smile curved her lips. "Was that supposed to be punishment?"
Asuka nuzzled their noses together. "What do you think?"
"I think I will be having a lot of practice at being a smartass," said Rei, and darted her tongue out to lick Asuka's lips.
HOW DARE YOU. ...But instead of outrageburst, all that happened was Asuka giggling giddily.
—And Shinji clearing his throat. "Um, guys?"
"Ugh, you're still here," Asuka grumbled. "Don't like it, don't look."
"It's not that," he said awkwardly, "—though I mean, it's a bit, y'know – in front of her brother … um. But no, I was saying that there's a light!"
Asuka blinked. "Huh?"
She and Rei dragged their eyes away from each other to follow Shinji's pointed arm down the tunnel, towards the Lilith's cavern. A thin glow, diffused and refracted, outlined the furthest rocks.
"Is that the place?" Shinji asked. "It is, right?"
Asuka nodded. "We blocked it off, though...?"
Shinji dashed ahead, and Asuka took Rei's hand and they followed more carefully.
"The footing's really bad here," Asuka said, but even as she got out her phone and turned the torch on, the glow got stronger, and not just because they were getting closer.
They caught up to Shinji at the crack in the tunnel wall that Asuka and Kaworu had gone through last time. He was hesitating, one hand on the white-outlined fault, the other clenching and unclenching spasmodically.
"What's the hold-up?" Asuka asked.
"Is something wrong, Shinji?" Rei added.
His troubled eyes wavered on the rock face. "What if Kaworu doesn't want to see me?" he whispered. "What if he's angry I came? He chose to leave – to leave me. I – should I even be here?"
Asuka huffed. "Are you serious? He's the one being a dick! Just running off without saying bye or anything, let alone an explanation. He doesn't get to complain!"
Shinji hunched in on himself. "But … if he tells me to go, if he – if he's cold, or looks at me with disgust … I don't think I could stand it..."
"Disgust?" Asuka snorted. "Look, Kaworu may have weird alien priorities, but when he looks at you it's the furthest thing from 'cold'. And if he tells you to go, you tell him right back!"
"Asuka is right," said Rei firmly. "Nagisa has made a choice, yes – one that affected others profoundly. It is appropriate that those experiencing the consequences of his choice be able to confront him with them. And Asuka is very experienced with confrontation."
"Damn right," said Asuka, cracking her knuckles.
A tiny smile wobbled onto Shinji's face. "Please don't hit my boyfriend. Even though he's been a dick."
"No promises," she said loftily. "Now let's go!"
Asuka's perfectly poised and pivoted side kick got them through the tunnel wall at its weak point, and they scrambled into the cavern.
There was the Lilith, huge and eldritch as she remembered, filling the entire back wall of the cave. It turned its hollow face to her and she felt again that impression of greeting, of welcome, from before.
On either side of her, Rei swayed in shock and Shinji fell back against the wall.
"What – what's that?" Shinji rasped.
"An Angel?" Rei quavered.
"An Earthling," said Asuka. "But it understands the Angels, don't you?" she asked the Lilith.
The impression in her mind cleared with confirmation.
Rei and Shinji clapped their hands to their temples simultaneously. "My mind? It's – talking to my mind?"
"Please!" Asuka begged. "Please help us find Kaworu and the others! You looked after the Ramiel, didn't you? Please, we need to find them again – now, before it's too late!"
There was a pause. Asuka held her breath.
Then the Lilith's massive body shifted to one side, showing first a path along the side wall crossing the ravine, then – it wasn't at the back wall of the cavern, it was blocking a larger space beyond, so large the entire mountain must have been hollow.
A hole in the high-off roof framed the shining full moon, whose beams fell on a vast floor and, gathered in the middle, the Angels. They were even tinier at this distance, but Asuka could spot at the nearest point, his back towards the humans and hands in pockets, stepping forward to complete the circle—
"Kaworu!" she and Shinji yelled together, and "Nagisa!" called Rei. But their voices were muffled by a silence of unearthly force, an active pulsing pressure that drowned out all sound and turned their muscles to lead.
From a point in the centre of the circle a wave of light burst outward, flowing over the whole cavern. The light narrowed, focused, resolved into a white, half-transparent, almost-humanoid figure, huge enough to dwarf even the oversized Lilith, and framed by two pairs of shining crystalline wings that filled the whole cavern.
Asuka blinked; rubbed her eyes, blinked again. In the giant's middle section there was a dark hollow, like the Lilith's empty face, but this gap was occupied by a tiny curled-up creature that reminded her of the fetal Sandalphon, down to the bulging wide-open eye. At the same time she knew that this thing and the giant of light were the same being.
Rei pointed a shaking finger. "Adam," she mouthed, either voiceless or muted by the stifling atmosphere. Asuka could only nod. There was the Angels' – Kaworu's – real parent.
The two Adams moved together – the tiny fetus uncurled its tail, and the giant reached down a hand – and, stepping into the circle, the little Sachiel reached up its own hand. Where they all touched, a shape sprang up behind the Angel – a huge and half-transparent image of itself, almost identical, but somehow sharper and monstrous. The image wavered, glowed, and vanished – and Asuka realised that the tiny original Sachiel was gone, too.
The Adam next reached out to the Shamshel, which raised its blobby body upright, wobbled, and fell over. Clumsily it tried again – this time its stubby arm made contact with the crumpled tail and glowing white hand. Another Shamshel, humongous and semi-visible, appeared from thin air, ribcage articulating like claws, and disappeared in a burst of light, taking the miniature real one with it.
The air felt thick as syrup, but Asuka forced her numb limbs to move. Staggering, stumbling, she started towards the side wall of the cavern, and the shelf of rock that made a path over the ravine.
"Come on," she tried to say, but her voice was swallowed almost before it left her mouth. She waved a hand behind her until she felt someone grab on, and hauled herself and them forward.
One by one, the Adam went round the circle of Angels, and one by one they vanished. The atmosphere in the cavern seemed so solemn, so … holy?, but at the same time it all happened so quickly, that before Asuka knew it, before she'd reached them, only the Arael and Armisael were left – aside from Kaworu.
Desperate, she summoned every air molecule and every decibel she could. "HEY!" —Still so quiet!
The Arael turned, just slightly, and its fronds perked up and it waved in her direction. But it still returned the Adam's touch, and its other-self mirage (a massive skeletal bird) shone and went out, and the Arael was gone too.
No! No no no!
Asuka dug in her pocket. Her fingers closed on the bracelet-cuff Shinji had given Kaworu.
"Asuka is very experienced at confrontation," indeed.
With all her strength, she hurled the cuff overarm.
It smacked into the back of Kaworu's head.
"Ouch."
He turned, saw them, went white. (...Well, whiter than usual.)
The spell was broken – the air pressure lifted like the world had stopped holding his breath. Asuka could breathe freely again.
"Kaworu!" Shinji cried out immediately.
"Shinji," Kaworu stammered. "Asuka – Miss Rei—"
Asuka's voice finally attained the volume it deserved. "Kaworu Nagisa, or Tabris or whatever your damn name is, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
The Armisael dipped one double-helix end in their direction. The other connected with the Adam's tail-hand, then it, too, projected a colossus and vanished.
Kaworu's face twisted. "Why are you here?" he said sadly.
"Why? Why?" The released muffle had released the humans' movement as well, and Asuka stormed up to Kaworu and grabbed his shirt in both fists. "You run away without a word and try to leave the planet, and you ask me why?" She shook him, making his head rattle on his neck (and his brains in his skull, if he even had any).
"Ouch," he said again, but didn't struggle.
"And you!" She shoved Kaworu away and whirled on the Adam. "Thinking you can just swan in after fifteen years and steal my cousin, who do you think you are? The nerve!"
The Adam blinked its single visible eye at her.
Asuka turned back to Kaworu and shoved him again. "Not that you're off the hook either – who ditches with a single-sentence note? What are you?"
Kaworu smiled sadly. "If I'd said goodbye in person I might not have been able to go at all. I had to leave while I could."
"But why are you going?" Shinji burst out. "Why – what's wrong? Do you have to leave?" He swallowed. "Or just want to?" His hands clenched at his sides.
Kaworu looked at him, pained, helpless. "I'm sorry, Shinji," he murmured. "This world isn't my home. I'm not meant to be here."
Rei, when she spoke, sounded less openly upset than Shinji, but Asuka knew her well enough to recognise her hurt. "Why did the Angels come to Earth, then?" The "If you were just going to leave us again" was silent, but very clear.
"We were curious," he said simply. "There is such a variety of life here, so many different creatures and biospheres. So we came to visit them – but never intended to stay as long as we did. The … changes this world caused to our forms were unexpected."
Shinji's brow furrowed. "What does that mean? Your 'form'?"
Rei took in a sharp breath. "You have a different true shape, like the projections the others showed?"
"Of course," Kaworu said breezily. "An Angel's native form is ageless, needless, powerful. On this world we are stunted – I only chose this puny thing because some of the more interesting Earthen lifeforms have such phyla."
Asuka frowned. "Interesting lifeforms – you mean humans?" She scowled. "We're not puny, take that back!"
"Relative to other Lilim—" Kaworu began, but Rei cut him off eagerly.
"What is your true shape, Nagisa? Show us."
He smiled and reached behind himself towards the Adam.
"Don't!" blurted Shinji, but was too late.
A figure loomed behind Kaworu, almost as huge as the Adam, but instead of having humanoid structure, it looked … well, it looked...
...the words 'axolotl' and 'fractal' sprang to mind.
The three humans stared. Asuka blinked, trying to resolve the biology (geometry? theology?) and make it make sense.
She pointed hesitantly. "Are those eyes or wings?"
"Or tentacles?" Rei guessed.
"Yes, probably," Kaworu answered.
Asuka shot him a disgusted look. "Right. Helpful." Then, unable to stop herself, went right back to staring.
Eyes … so many eyes … eyes aren't meant to be there...
Shinji gulped. "So that's – you?"
"A version of me," Kaworu confirmed.
"That's what I was – kissing?" His voice squeaked.
"Not … exactly," said Kaworu slowly. "...But also … yes."
Shinji gulped again. "Right. Okay. Right. Um, right. Um."
"So you see," Kaworu murmured, and Asuka couldn't tell where his voice was actually coming from, "I am not really meant for this world."
She snapped out of fixation to glare at him. "I call bullshit."
Kaworu's eyebrows rose. "Asuka?"
"'Meant for', 'meant to'. Who cares about that crap?" She jabbed him in the chest. "You have a life here, don't you? You have a home, and a family and friends, and even someone to kiss."
Shinji flushed crimson.
"So it's not what you were expecting – big deal!" Asuka continued. "That's life! We go along our own paths, make our own choices, decide for ourselves what to value and how to live. Where someone's from, how they were born – that stuff isn't anyone's whole story. The start, sure, but not the end or even the middle! You get to write what you want.
"And!" She jabbed him again for emphasis. "We still have the final performance of The Atheniad to show!"
Kaworu's face went blank.
"Don't you dare bail on me now," Asuka growled. "It's way too late to train up Stupid-Shinji."
The corners of Kaworu's mouth began to lift.
Asuka folded her arms. "What, you think you're getting out of family obligations just because we're not biologically related? How narrow-minded! Nuh-uh, my dear cousin. What actually matters is, what do you actually want? What do you choose?"
Silence again – not the stifling deepwater pressure of before, but tense like a held violin note, and somehow worse.
Then Kaworu was hugging her, and the projection of his fractolotl form faded.
"Do you know, dear cousin," he said by her ear, "that my title as an Angel is Free Will?"
She snorted, and wiped her eyes before returning his hug. "Pretty crappy job you were doing of it, then. Good thing you had me here to coach you."
He drew back enough to beam at her, at least as radiant as the Adam-giant's moonglow. "That was a correct application of 'hug', yes? To express happiness and affection with someone you feel close to?"
"Oh my god yes, you stunted creature," she huffed, and mussed his hair. "This is why you need to stick around, so you can learn how to actually communicate with people."
She cast a smile at Rei. "Trust me, it's worth the effort. The more perspectives, the merrier, I say."
"Vive la différence," Rei agreed.
Asuka floated over to her. "Mmm, say something in French again."
"Je ne parle pas francais," Rei apologised.
"That'll do," said Asuka, and commenced snuggling.
Kaworu and Shinji looked at each other shyly. Asuka spared a thought of, How the tables have turned – now we're the sappy ones, and they're awkward and nervous. Huh, before devoting her attention to smoothing Rei's messed-up helmet hair.
In the background she nevertheless overhead Kaworu saying quietly, "Shinji, I'm truly sorry. To abandon you without word, regardless of my perceived burdens and constraints, was hurtful and unfair. If there's anything I can do, if I might beg the chance to atone..."
From the corner of her eye (not that she was looking, or worrying, or anything), Asuka saw Shinji take hold of Kaworu's wrist. Around it he looped the black leather cuff, tying the cord carefully in a double-knot.
Kaworu let out a shaking breath. Against Shinji's steady regard, he trembled like an autumn leaf. "And I understand if, after everything you have seen, you no longer have feelings of attraction towards mmmph!"
Asuka tried to ignore the sounds of smooching.
Suddenly crushing pressure filled her ears and leadened her limbs. Rei groaned and crumpled. "Urrgh … what—"
"It's all right," she distantly heard Kaworu yelling.
Dizzily her sluggish thoughts disagreed, but then he continued, "It's all right, Adam – please calm down," and the pressure lifted again.
Asuka gasped with relief. "What the hell? What was that about?"
"Adam thought I was being attacked," Kaworu said. "They don't know much about Earthlings, but they're aware most of you consume other lifeforms for sustenance. So they tried to defend me."
Asuka looked up – the glowing giant was looming over them, while the tiny shimp-version pointed its bulgy eyes directly and threateningly at Shinji.
After a moment, Shinji's face dawned with realisation. "It thought I was eating you?"
To the glowing alien Kaworu explained, "It's called a 'kiss' – a social bonding activity. Shinji was only showing his affection for me – nothing dangerous. On the contrary, it's one of my favourite benefits of a human form." He smiled, and Shinji blushed and smiled back.
The Adam lowered a hand and uncurled a tail towards Kaworu, who touched it lightly – no projection of giant Angel-form this time, just a glow shared between parent and child.
"Safe travels," said Kaworu. "Send my thoughts to my siblings." He paused, listening, then smiled. "I will be well. I have family here, now, too."
Asuka, feeling suddenly awkward, stepped forward. The Adam's faces (one tiny with that bulging eye, one huge with bottomless black orbs) turned to her.
Trying to be brave, she extended a hand up – the Adam didn't make contact, but the closeness was a tangible presence.
"Um, thanks for bringing Kaworu to Earth," she stammered. "We'll take good care of him."
Kaworu listened again. "They thank you for reuniting the Angels," he said to Asuka, "and for becoming my family."
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," Rei quoted.
Asuka jerked a thumb in her direction. "What she said."
Kaworu stepped away from the Adam, and with Asuka holding his hand on one side and Shinji on the other, lifted his face towards his parent for the last time. "Goodbye," he said.
As they all watched, the Adam's glow waxed, then faded, and was gone.
Asuka drew a deep breath in the empty cavern. "Wow."
Shinji drew Kaworu's hand to his chest. "Thank you for staying."
"Thank you for welcoming me so warmly," said Kaworu, and kissed him.
Asuka dropped Kaworu's other hand like it was scalding. "Okay, enough! Let's go home already!"
Kaworu's laugh followed her as she, with Rei in contented tow, recrossed the vast floor and bottomless ravine.
Back at the entrance, under the Lilith's impassive regard, she bowed. "Thanks for your help."
The others also bowed – Ikaris politely, Kaworu jauntily.
"Wonderful world you have here," he said to the giant. "I have been very happy to share it."
The presence in Asuka's mind was warmer than ever, and the huge hollow face inclined slightly like it was copying their bows.
They left the cavern, waving over their shoulders (probably a good thing it's not copying that – could bring down the roof), and Asuka replugged the crack in the tunnel wall behind them – though she suspected the Lilith would continue to only be discovered if it felt like it.
Secrets and friends, she thought, glancing at her alien cousin, then back at the concealed cave, and secret friends. Not a bad deal, actually.
Even when hidden from view, the moon would still shine on, after all.