Chapter Four

"Take another moment," Snape instructed. It was almost comical, Snape telling her to take a moment, as if she had any other choice. She couldn't go through the next invasion of her mind without a moment. She pressed her eyes closed tighter and tried to concentrate on the fabrics of her that Snape had just essentially torn into. Building the walls of her mind back up felt impossible. She couldn't even concentrate enough to figure out where to start. Every part of her was tattered and fogged after the last assault.

"Let me see."

She fought the impulse to rip her chin out of the Potion Master's fingertips and instead opened her eyes and allowed him back into her mind. She hated this part, probably more than she hated all the other parts, the part where she needed Snape—and not just to teach her—but to heal her shattered mind he had just assaulted.

"You're done for the day."

She flinched at how cold his words were, what the underlying meaning to them was. You've failed. Again.

"I can keep going," she said, determined despite the spinning sensation she was feeling.

"No, you can't," Snape scoffed, his voice edging on disgust. "And I am done wasting my time for the day."

"I was able to—"

"You were able to attack using Legilimency, but all it did was stall. You will not be able to do that while being tortured. It was inevitable I would be able to get past your barriers."

Graces' face heated. It had been a mistake to try to attack Snape's mind, it had been an attempt to lean more on her stronger abilities to make up for the Occlumency skills she was lacking. It was a stupid idea, she should have remained focused on defending her own mind, curating it better to not allow anyone to realize.

"I think if we—"

"If you wanted to work more than you shouldn't have allowed me past your defenses," Snape dismissed, gesturing towards her room.

She knew better than to argue further and sauntered away defeated. She was failing. After every lesson she could see where all her mistakes had been, but she continuously kept making them. She couldn't keep her emotions in check, she fumbled at expanding her mind to allow for more ways to conceal herself and she was arrogant, so when attacked her first impulse was to attack back. No matter how long she could hold herself back from the beginning she always seemed to lash out towards the end. She had thought attacking right away would maybe create more strength behind her defense, but it had done nothing but bring about more brutality from Snape.

She missed Draco. As hard as it had been to share this room with Draco while they were on such awful terms it was worse to have the room empty of him. She laid in bed with her mind torn up and a headache blooming behind her eyes swallowing her whole skull with no comfort. When Draco was here his hostile presence was still something to her, she could hold it close to her, breathe in the scent of him near and know she wasn't alone. She had thought she would see him during training, but Snape trained them separately now and Draco never lingered after. She wished he would, she had even waited outside her room in the kitchen for him, but he never glanced her way once dismissed.

She had thought she would miss Neville the most during this separation, but at night in bed it was Draco she missed. She wondered what was happening between him and Neville, if the small amount of hope she was cradling that he would grow to accept Neville was insane or real. When she considered the two of them she believed they could grow to like one another, but could they under these circumstances? Would Draco ever forgive her for her betrayals? She could see Draco refusing to accept Neville out of spite, holding onto his hurt and disdain for her as punishment. Perhaps that is part of his silence towards her this past week, adding to the punishment.

Again she reminded herself that Draco was upholding all his duties to her as his sister getting married. He had come to the disaster of a meeting with the Longbottoms. He had held his tongue and remained respectable the whole time, even going as far as to hold her to their family's standards when she was about to lose her temper. And now he was getting to know her betrothed, insisting she and Neville remain separate as if they were going to do the full three months of separation. She had no reason to believe that Draco was not trying and he was trying despite not even wanting to look at her.

There was a quick rap at her door, before Snape entered. "You have a visitor."

For a brief hopeful moment she thought Draco was going to appear and then her father was there in the doorway. And suddenly she was a little girl again. A pit in her stomach opened and she felt a wash of homesickness as she hurried off the bed to embrace him. She bit her tongue as she held onto him, too scared that if she opened her mouth she would beg him to take her home and cry for her mother.

"Merlin, Severus, what are you doing to my little girl to have her in such a state?" Lucius laughed. Graces could feel the vibrations of his voice deep in his chest as her head laid against him. "Perhaps we could have some tea."

"I am not a house elf," Severus replied dryly. "Nor am I a host. You have come with no announcement or invitation to warrant civilities."

"Do I need either of those things to visit my children?"

"You want the courtesy of tea and I want the courtesy of a simple owl before a visit."

"Always so friendly."

Snape seemed not at all amused with her father's words. He loomed irritatedly in the doorway. "If you had owled, I would have postponed her lesson."

"Would you have?" Lucius asked, a brow raising. "That seems almost kind."

"Or I don't enjoy listening to the wailing of teenage girls," Snape muttered.

Graces' still had not let go of her father's torso and hiccuped another sob from the safety of her father's arms, before he gently peeled him away from him.

"She better not be wailing," he said softly, a disapproving look coming to him.

Graces wasn't sure what to say, she had cried. She had cried a lot; she hadn't wailed though. She quickly wiped the tears from her face, a rock settling into her gut as she did.

"I shall leave you two alone," Snape said.

"Where is Draco?"

"Not here."

Lucius raised a brow as though to say clearly. "But where is he?"

"I do not know. He comes and goes as he pleases."

"What?" her father hissed and Graces instinctively took a small step back, not wishing this questioning to turn to her.

"He is of age Lucius. What do you want me to do? Barricade him into the room?"

"Seventeen is not grown, Severus. I would think as someone who is around seventeen year olds daily I would not need to remind you of this."

Snape's gaze fixated pointedly on her father, but she could almost feel it on her as he said slowly. "You do not. I agree wholeheartedly."

"But," he continued. "I am not his father, nor am I his keeper. He comes to his lessons and then leaves as he pleases."

"Does he sleep here?"

"Not as of late."

"Where is he sleeping?"

"He's fine, he's safe and if he misses a lesson I'll be sure to call you or his mummy," Snape added sardonically.

Lucius stood, leaving Graces in the middle of the room unable to hear what it was her father was whispering to her Head of House. She fidgeted awkwardly with her ring, before realizing it was displayed and quietly slipping it off and placing it safely in her pocket. She wondered if her father noticed and then calmed herself with the reminder she had embraced him and he couldn't have seen.

"Your concerns are noted, but as I said I am not their father nor am I their keeper. It should also be noted that behaving like your son—who is the active patriarch of your family—needs minding will not be looked favorably by our Lord."

Lucius was still and though Graces could not see her father's face she had a feeling that he looked murderous with those words. The discomfort in the room grew around her as both men allowed the silence to strain.

"I would think that what we discuss in private stays that way."

"I do not serve you, Lucius," Snape reminded icily. "If something needs to be told it will be."

"Do not even think of taking these two from my care," Snape snapped. "Bellatrix is the last person who should be sifting through anyone's mind teaching defense. You and I both know she lacks restraint and you are a fool if you think she would not do the same as I in regards to giving our Lord any warning regarding their competencies or motives."

"Keep out of my head, Severus," Lucius growled. "These are my children and I will do with them as I think best."

Severus glared and Graces could tell he had much to say in regards to her father's declaration.

"I would like to be alone with my daughter now," Lucius dismissed, turning his back on the discussion and seating himself on an old chair in front of a mismatched desk.

Snape made some noise of annoyance, before turning away. Graces looked over at her father and the open door and then quietly shut it.

"I would rather continue my lessons with Professor Snape," she said quietly after a moment. "They're very valuable."

"I am aware," Lucius said, looking around the room and unable to hide his judgments.

Graces considered his words. It most certainly wasn't an answer. She wondered if she needed to declare a refusal to allow Bellatrix to take over. She was seventeen, he couldn't make her leave Snape's home. He certainly couldn't make her allow Bellatrix into her mind.

"How has it been? Living with Severus."

Graces bit her lip and tried to think of what to say. "He's… fine. "

"He's a miserable man," her father snorted, a small tired smile.

Graces wanted to agree and at the same time was too scared to voice it. If she said something negative about Snape would he take her away? "And yet you call him a friend."

"Do I?" Lucius challenged.

Graces felt the question was a trick. "You named him my godfather. I would assume that means you do consider him a friend, a close friend, unless you are now regretting that choice."

"He has taken you into his home, cared for you, and is teaching you a skill he refused to aid me with. He also took a vow to protect your brother in his task to assassinate Dumbledore, an unbreakable vow to help him. I have no regrets on who I chose to be your godfather."

Graces could not deny any of this, but at the same time she still didn't understand the relationship her father had with this man.

"And it doesn't matter to you that he's not pure?"

Lucius smirked. "We make allowances for Severus."

She fought the urge to play with her ring finger and did her best to keep her features cool.

"Why?"

A true smile grew on her father's lips at the question. "Why do you think?" When she didn't answer he came up from the chair and gestured for her to sit. "Because he is an asset. I saw that while we were in school. He was never popular, too miserable and awkward to make friends, but he was beyond normal intelligence." Lucius met her eyes squarely. "He could make up spells, potions, and had an interest in the Dark Arts and if there is one person to keep close it's a wizard like that. Better to keep them close than ever allow them to become your enemy."

Graces considered this for a moment. Her father was always telling her and Draco to be calculating when making friends. He would remind them of who was connected to who and ask regarding their capabilities in class. When she befriended Thomas he had written to her his approval of such a relationship.

"But you don't like him?"

Her father blinked at this. "I think a lot of Severus Snape, I do not need to have warm feelings regarding him to like him. I doubt he has warm feelings regarding me."

Graces made a face of acknowledgment. She didn't have warm feelings regarding Snape either and she was sure he had none for her. She was a tool for his disposal as well she supposed.

"Graces."

When she looked up from her thoughts her father's face had hardened.

"You are to be nothing but respectful and grateful to Severus. Do you understand me? He has guarded you, housed you, and is doing his best to prepare you for a position that in my opinion you are not ready for."

"Not ready to be in service of your Lord, but old enough to be wed to Graham Montague," Graces muttered bitterly.

"Our Lord," Lucius corrected, giving Graces a scathing look. "And yes, as I have continued to say, that is a safer and better position for you than the dangerous work you have so stupidly volunteered for. And you better be thanking the gods nightly that Severus Snape is your godfather and has taken it upon himself to tutor both you and your brother. Something I will remind you he does not do for others."

Graces folded her arms and nodded. She wondered at what her father would think if he knew the real reasons for Snape's aid. That he was a spy, that he was just training them so the Order had two additional bodies. She considered the way Snape betrayed him and how he didn't even know. If he did, he certainly—

Graces yelped with pain as her father's cane snapped against her elbows, forcing her to release her arms as she grabbed at the injury. She was astonished he struck her, he had never done so before. Then again she would never have been so disrespectful before. Lucius opened his mouth to speak, but the door opened.

"Severus," Lucius said blandly.

The other man walked in, ignoring her father's looks.

"I may not track your children's every movement, but they are spelled to alert me of any injury."

Graces hadn't known that. She stared at the Potions Master.

Lucius actually smiled at the information. "Are we going to discuss parenting tactics, or are you going to allow me to talk with my daughter?"

"Talk or discipline?"

Graces was careful to keep her shields up, she didn't particularly want Snape know what it was they were discussing.

"Whichever is needed."

Snape did not appear to like that answer. Graces was actually a bit surprised by this protectiveness. This was the same man that allowed her to be beaten within an inch of her life.

"A reminder that I did not know you were coming, she is not at her best now. Emotions are more difficult to manage when your mind has been ransacked."

"So tolerant, Severus," Lucius grinned. "Does she get cauldron cakes and a glass of pumpkin juice before bed as well?"

When Snape left her father turned back to her with a smug smile on his lips.

"The first time I ever came to this house was when I had graduated. I met Severus' father briefly before I was quickly ushered up to this very room. Severus had a cut right above his eye and a swollen lip courtesy of Tobias Snape's temper."

"His father hit him?" Graces asked, feeling almost uncomfortable with the knowledge her father was giving her about her guardian. Her father nodded and continued looking about the room in memory. "Didn't his mother—"

"She had passed by this time, though from small things I have gathered from Severus here and there over the years her being around had not been much help to him. This is not a happy home you are in, it never was." Her father let out a long breath. "Why Severus has stayed here I will never understand."

Graces stared again at the walls of the room, the old paint and chipped borders, but now she saw the areas of the walls that looked to have been patched up some years ago, new drywalled areas here and there. Her stomach turned slightly at the implications.

"You and your brother are the closest thing that man has to family," Lucius stated quietly. "He may not act like that matters to him, but your being here now shows that it does. Do not dismiss the care and safety someone like Severus Snape can give you. Understood?"

She nodded and tried to settle her discomfort with the new information she had been given. Her father had said that they made allowances for Snape. Did those allowances for him extend because her father had more knowledge of his home life? Was her father's friendship with him motivated purely by the other man's power and skill, or was there an empathetic portion to it? She had a hard time imagining her father being empathetic to someone who wasn't family. His love and attention didn't go past bloodlines.

"Wha-what did you do? When you found out about his father?"

Lucius frowned slightly. "There was nothing I could do. It was a family matter."

"But he was your friend."

"Severus' situation was not my responsibility. I had duties to attend to."

Those words felt like sour milk to her ears and she had to carefully manage her emotions to not show her disapproval.

"I suppose not," she agreed.

"Come, sit. I did not come here to discuss Severus."

"Has… our Lord decided I am to take The Mark now?" Graces asked, unable to hide her nervousness. No task to prove herself had been given yet, nothing had been asked of her to officially be placed into the Dark Lord's circle, but she knew it was coming.

"No, nothing of that nature," Lucuius murmured, his voice gentle like when she was little as he sat across from her on the twin bed meant to be Draco's. She had missed that fatherly tone of reassurance in his absence. Hearing it now though, it didn't reassure her like it used to. Maybe he couldn't reassure her like he used to, not after everything that had happened.

"You know I did quite a few things to prevent Mr. Longbottom from testifying. He didn't respond to any of them. No threats, no bribe," Lucius shrugged, his voice going quiet. "And when he appeared in court. He looked nervous, frightened even, but he always met by gaze. Always. I was surprised to hear that he refused to come forth and testify again. Even more surprised he had been so silent regarding my appeal."

"Then when I returned to the manor I heard rumors. That he was apparently very sweet on you this year. Intensely so."

"What exactly are you asking?" Graces said, narrowing her eyes.

Graces watched as her father at least had enough decency to look away from her for a moment.

"Anything you did, because I was not here to protect you is on me, Graces. Do you understand?"

Graces swallowed and looked away. This conversation left her stomach feeling as though it were slicked with oil.

"And what exactly do you think I have done?" Graces challenged, allowing the venom in her voice to come forth.

Her father didn't dignify her with any response, he just sat there waiting.

She thought about saying something shocking. Declaring she had slept with him, but that he didn't need to fuss himself over it, because she quite enjoyed it. Or throwing it in his face that he really couldn't be that upset because after all Neville was pure, but instead she found angry tears coming to her and a lump growing in her throat.

"I did not sleep with Neville Longbottom to gain your freedom. And while it may not have been above me to do such a thing; it is above Neville. He would never take advantage like that."

"You're not naive enough to truly believe that people do things for no benefit to themselves. Everything has a price, Graces."

"The price," Graces hissed, her voice wavering. "Was all on Neville. He ensured your freedom at the price of his values and credit, because he was worried about what would happen to me should you continue to not be around." She was shaking with the feelings rising in her. The indignation, the anger, the memories that bubbled to the surface of her mind made her choke on all her other senses. "He saw the price I paid in October for Thomas and paid a price on my behalf in turn when he saw an opportunity to."

"Neville," her father repeated, his eyes not wavering from her face.

Graces shook her head and looked to the heavens. "That's what you took away from what I said?" She let out a defiant laugh. "Gods forbid I say the given name of a blood traitor. If I had slept with him to help you gain your freedom that is forgivable, but would I have had the same forgiveness if I slept with him because I wanted to?"

"Did you?"

The question—though quietly asked—hung in the air around them as if it were echoing off the wall. It sobered her. She had overplayed her hand and given too much emotion and allowed her father to catch onto what was really the truth.

"No," she lied coolly, slowly organizing her mind as Snape had been instructing her and pulling her emotions under. "Maybe I would have, in another life," she swallowed, allowing a bit of truth to help polish her lie. "I liked him a lot more than I should have." Her father bristled with discomfort and she let her temper purposely come out, playing the part that would be acceptable. "Don't worry, he hates me now. No need to worry about if I will be having affairs with Neville Longbottom, killing Albus Dumbledore and becoming a Death Eater soured any affection he harbored for me. He considers himself a fool and I feel the same for entertaining any ideas at all."

Her father said nothing and Graces stilled with the web of lies she wove around herself. Snape was right, she was too much emotion and not enough sense. And her lapse in judgment was with one of the few people who knew her well. She had always been a daddy's girl. She had favored her father the way Draco had favored their mother. Secrets and worries were easily shared over the years with the man looking at her now and she had no doubt that he knew her well enough to catch on to her feelings now.

"If there is something to tell, Graces, you need to do so now," Lucius said softly.

Graces shook her head. "There is nothing to tell."

"He didn't testify against me."

"No, he didn't," Graces said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I want to make myself very clear. I love you, you are my daughter, your mother's pride and your brother's second half. I will not allow any of us to lose you. So if you have any affection left for that boy you will keep away from him, because I would sooner see him in an early grave then have you lost to us. Do you understand?"

"You have nothing to worry about."

"I have plenty to worry about," Lucius said, standing up and glaring down at her. "Know that I mean what I say. Keep away from that boy."

Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Snape entered Malfoy manor and immediately left the foyer towards the west wing. It felt odd going to this part of the manor where Lucius and Narcissa lived privately. He had spent quite a bit of time in the east wing as of late with their Lord and other followers, but this section was unspokenly off limits except to family. He was only slightly surprised that the wards allowed him though with complete comfort.

An elf saw him and also did not question his presence, but did ask if he had business with their mistress or master. After Snape declared Master he was led to a balcony overlooking the hedge garden where Lucius was standing, a distant dark look taking over his features.

"What you say to me regarding your children is private," Snape relented. Lucius glanced up at him, but didn't comment. "As is much of what I find in their minds."

Lucius did snort at that. True emotion crossed his face, before he pushed it away with disdain.

"And what is it you have found in my children's minds? How thoroughly have you ransacked their—"

"Anything I have done to their minds has only been to help make them strong."

"Because I didn't make them strong?" Lucius challenged, his voice dangerously low.

"Children that are allowed to be children typically do not have the same strength as those that were not."

The words should have been taken as a compliment. Lucius and Narcissa had given their children a safe home, had spoiled them with luxury and privileges that Snape never had. Add to that they had a caring and loving mother and a fiercely protective father, both children were something to be envied. But Lucius looked far from someone who would agree at this moment.

"Do I need to concern myself with Neville Longbottom?"

"No."

"I know my daughter."

"She asked him to take the Mark, he refused and all of that ended," Snape shrugged.

"That simply?"

"No, she did some undignified begging, bartering and much crying. He did the same, no impasse could be reached, both refused compromise and that was that."

"And yet her feelings still remain."

"What do you want to do, Lucius? Kill some seventeen year old boy because he dared to harbor feelings for your daughter? Because she dared to feel something in return? It's over and done," Snape dismissed, letting his tone show how tired he was of this conversation.

"You didn't hear her," Lucius shook, his blonde hair catching the moonlight that was shadowing his face. "It's not over and it's not done."

"It is over and it is done," the potions master stressed. "As you said, feelings remain, she won't be acting on them. You don't need to worry."

Lucius glared at him. "I do not worry over many things, Severus, but I will and do concern myself when it comes to my children."

"Neville Longbottom is not something you need to be concerned with," Severus dismissed. "I have been in her head enough to know. She is much more terrified of losing Draco than anything else."

"Narcissa said something similar," Lucius hummed. "She knows things, she seemed shocked by who, but not by the situation. She is refusing to tell me any details of what she knows. 'What a girl confides in her mother should stay private'," he quoted bitterly. "I doubt she would allow me to keep anything private when it comes to her children, but I am expected to leave all of this to rest on her word."

"And mine," Snape reminded, pausing for a moment and realizing that Narcissa was not here in this discussion regarding her daughter. "Is that why Narcissa isn't here? Are you two quarreling?"

Lucius made some sound of agitation. "You know Narcissa. There is no arguing once she has decided on something."

Snape repressed a smile. He actually liked that Narcissa could always knock the pedestal Lucius put himself on out from under him.

"What brought on the sudden interest in being their guardian again?"

Snape saw the question for what it was. An overly obvious attempt to get away from the Malfoy marital affairs and onto something where he would have less stable footing, but he decided to continue the conversation regardless. Lucius had just snapped his fingers and was ordering a pour of some sort of amber liquid that Snape would bet cost his whole year's salary.

"Other than your wife and sister in law showing up at my home and begging me to keep your son safe?"

Lucius let out a breathy laugh and handed him a glass. "I doubt Bella and Cissy have much effect on your emotions. Why did you do it?"

"What does it matter, I've done it."

"Don't be rude, Severus," Lucius reprimanded, his silver eyes almost amused at his refusal as though he were a petulant child. "I'm justified to ask. After the war you were absent, you—"

"I think my absence was self explanatory. Self preservation, needing that job at Hogwarts. You're not stupid, Lucius, you know very well our friendship would have only brought speculation."

There was nothing said for a while and Snape actually enjoyed some of his drink and looking out at the landscape of Malfoy manor. He tried not to think of the first time Lucius had invited him there, the real beginning of his joining Voldemort, but his thoughts couldn't seem to avoid it. He had been so desperate to be accepted by those like Lucius, to have a place like everyone around him. Lucius had a way of making you feel a part of something.

"Remember their first birthday? You baked those ridiculous cakes."

Snape didn't like where this conversation was going. This stroll down memory lane was nothing but discomforting.

"I remember."

"Thank Merlin Narcissa had sense and had an appropriate cake for the table."

Snape didn't comment. He was young, barely twenty one and naive enough to think that the honor of being named godfather to Lucius and Narcissa's children in some way elevated him. He had not realized that a one year olds party was such an elaborate affair and bringing the cake as the godfather was more a show of duty than something intimate between a person and his godchildren. So he had foolishly baked two cakes, ones he thought the twins would enjoy as they messily ate. They were not elaborate in decoration, nor were they a showcase of status.

"I think you spent all of five minutes at the celebration, before retreating the rest of the night to the nursery. Hiding behind "Tales of Beedle the Bards" rather than socializing."

"I've never been one to enjoy parties."

Lucius nodded, looking out in thought. "She felt bad after, did you know? She found you sitting in the nursery reading to them, empty plates of the cake you had baked and given to them on the dresser and everything she had said regarding you not being a fit choice for godfather turned to ash on her tongue. My justification for that past year had done nothing, you saving her life had not mattered to her, but when she saw you loved them—" he stopped and shook his head. "She's always been tender when it comes to her children."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Reading a book and feeding them cake does not necessarily equate to loving affection. As you pointed out I was never one to socialize and they weren't exactly big conversationalists at the time."

Lucius turned to him, his whole body turned towards Snape, forcing Snape to turn as well so they were both facing one another, the evening backdrop forgotten.

"Tell me I can trust you with my children, Severus. Because I cannot get either to allow me to get close enough to figure out myself what they need."

"You can trust me with your children."

"And their secrets?"

Severus let out a slow breath. "Will stay so, you have my word."

Lucius finished his drink in one swift motion before setting his glass down on the stones making the outlook.

"If I asked for an unbreakable vow to protect them would you give it?"

"Your children are going to have the ability to protect themselves," Severus stated firmly.

"That does not answer my question."

"I don't need to make a vow to you, as you know they are the closest thing to family I have," Snape quoted, giving Lucius a look that told him this conversation was now over. Malfoy smirked and Snape nodded goodbye before heading back to Spinner's End where Graces had been clearly waiting for him.

She stood there with all her delicate features heightened by her red cheeks and tearful eyes. This was one of the hardest things he found when it came to Graces, how damn helpless she could be, despite all her talent and ability.

"Stupid, rash, silly girl," Snape snarled.

"I know."

"No, you don't know," hissed Snape, grabbing her by her arm and dragging her to the kitchen. "If you knew then you would have known better than to get yourself into this mess! Do you have any idea what you have done?"

"Yes, I do," Graces sniffed, folding her arms about herself as tears ran down her nose.

He thought of screaming at her more, detailing to her the exact horrors her father was capable of and making it clear that Neville would be yet another victim of her father's cruelty and her stupidity, shaking her until she saw sense, but he stopped himself. Harsh words and reality had done nothing to aid him when it came to Graces Malfoy.

"Sit down," he breathed tiredly.

"No one is going to save you. No one can," he added quietly. She nodded and refused to meet his gaze. "Graces, look at me."

"You are not the kind of girl that needs saving. You will save yourself. Crawl through whatever shreds of your mind you need to and scrape together the pieces of the girl who stood before the Dark Lord and bargained for Thomas' life. You know how to play the part you need to play and by God I will make you play it."

Graces shook her head. "I'm not that girl anymore. I—"

"Don't you dare tell me you are not that girl anymore," Severus hissed, his frustration already beginning to build. "You will always be that girl. And I have seen enough in your head to know you're even more than that. Brewing potions, poisons, anecdotes, drawing runes on barn floors that—"

"And I couldn't keep any of that from you," spat Graces. "You found it all out. You—"

"Do you think I would not waste my time or efforts if I believed you and your brother did not possess the ability or talent to succeed?"

Some emotion crossed across her features and Snape felt ill at ease with the compliment suddenly.

"This cannot continue, I will not coddle you. And I will not go easy on you, this is war and you will be ready," he reminded, standing and deciding to put the kettle on. He noticed a casserole was in the oven and glanced over to ensure the dishes were done as well.

When he sat back down she was still staring at him, but for once he could not figure out what she was thinking. He wondered if she could do this through an attack, he had half a mind to test it, but decided better. Maybe her fractured mind would do well with a few days of rest. Maybe McGonagall had been right when she begged him to allow Graces to stay with her and get care in Germany over the summer.

"You are always, at all times, a spy. In this house, in your room, outside on a run, with your father, with Draco, and with your soon to be husband. You wear a mask of strength at all times, until your mind is so accustomed to it you don't know how to be anything but. Understood?"

"Understood," she whispered, biting her lip hesitantly. "Is Neville safe?"

"For now."

"Please don't send me to Germany," Graces whispered, her fingers tracing the wood of the kitchen table.

"I let my guard down, for one small moment, in my home, with my ward and—"

"I'm sorry. I—"

"That's not my point," Severus snapped. "In one moment my guard was down and you saw. You had an opportunity and you took it. This is your constant situation, that is your constant threat as a spy. We need your mind strong and your defense consistent."

"And you believe I can do that?" Graces asked.

He didn't answer right away. "If you put half as much thought into your Occlumency as you put into becoming Mrs. Neville Longbottom you could be as good as Draco. Who I must say is exceptionally talented in Occlumency. He thinks ahead for himself, not of other's actions and thoughts, but of his own. How to best be perceived, who he needs in his corner and how to act to hide his true self. He is always thinking of his perception and guarding his mind."

Graces had a sad smile at that.

"And if you were to put the other half of your mind to Legilimency you could be as good as I."

She blinked at that, unable to hide the shock his words brought to her.

"Legilimency is a skill of attack. You are exceptional at it. You rush the mind and you have a knack for finding someone's weakness and burrowing a way through, something Draco struggles with. He doesn't look at people's daily body language and social habits. He doesn't understand people the way you do. He will, though, we are working on it now."

"You and Draco can both do this, but I need all of your focus. Everything you are and have needs to be focused on what I am teaching you. So what do you want, Miss Malfoy. Do you want to be a master Legilimens and successful spy? Or do you want to bake casseroles and do dishes?"

"Neville—" she stopped her brow furrowing. "Neville does not want or expect me to be—"

"I know how you were raised, Graces. I know how pureblood marriages work."

She shook her head. "You're twisting things. Not all marriages are—"

"Do you know what year your mother's father was born?"

Graces frowned slightly.

"Cygnus Black was born in 1938. Your mother- the youngest child was born in 1955. What age was your grandfather when he sired his third daughter?"

Graces swallowed. "Seventeen"

"How old do you think your grandmother was? Do you think she was allowed to finish school? Or do you think she was taken out of school to be married and then to have three children, none of which were the boy that she was expected to have."

"My mother didn't have me til she was twenty-five," Graces pointed out. "No one is expecting me to—"

"Maybe there will not be expectations for you to have a child, but there will be expectations," Snape said slowly. "Marriage is nothing but expectations."

Graces jumped as the kettle whistled from the stove. She looked at Snape and back to it hesitantly for a moment before standing to attend to it. She returned with two tea cups atop saucers that Snape had forgotten he had.

They said nothing through the tea or through dinner. Graces cleared the plates and he retired to his room for the night. He was just finishing a letter to an apothecary in Egypt requesting an order when there was a knock on his door.

"The wedding is July 29th. Draco wrote saying Neville agreed to the date," she held the letter close to her, playing with one of the corners bending and rebending it.

"I see."

Graces nodded, her lower lip caught between her teeth. "I will do both," she swore, looking up at him. "And if I can't do both just as well together, it will be my duty as a wife I fail, not my duty as a spy. And Neville will understand that."

"There is no if, Miss Malfoy. You will not be able to do both, so is this your choice? Marry Neville Longbottom who has the impression that you will be keeping all of your promises to him only to break them?"

"He will understand."

"Or he will resent you. And resentment in any relationship has only one way to go. And your betrothed is not as forgiving as you would like to believe."

"Perhaps not," she nodded. "But this is the choice I am making and he will live with it."

"Can you live with it? With love turning to hate?"

"Are you going to instruct me on these matters as well?" Graces asked petulantly. "Are you an expert in these affairs as well?"

Snape let out a cold laugh. "No. I won't be wasting my time on that unachievable task. You will do as you wish to do and I am not willing to have any sort of responsibility in your future failed marriage."

"You will be a great spy, Miss Malfoy. After all this you will probably even be credited as a war hero. Graces Malfoy who helped save the Wizarding World." He could see it too now, just as he could see it with Draco. They would be extraordinary and at no small price they would rally themselves to every situation and climb their way to the top. She was climbing now, picking herself out of whatever depth of despair she had been in for the past few weeks and ready to put everything she had into this. "But you're not going to be a good wife."