Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins
"Unca Vern? Aunt Tuney?!"
Radley was walking back to his jeep after watching a friends rugby match in the park when he heard it, a tiny whimpering voice coming from the playground. He walked over to see a tiny beagle puppy crying on the swings.
"Oh no." Radley said.
This pup had been abandoned by his aunt and uncle. Sadly it was common for British Dogs to abandon their unwanted pups in Australia, Radley himself had been one and had been in the pups same position. He had been found by Bob and Christine Heeler and been adopted by them.
"Don't pay it back pay it forward." Radley said confidently as he shut his Jeep door.
"Hey there little mate, what's got you all soggy?" Radley asked as he bent down on one knee.
"I can't find my auntie Uncle and cousin. I think they left me behind." The pup cried.
Unwanted orphan pup. Radley thought. Knew it. "What's say you and I go lookin' for em 'Kay? Do you know where they're staying? The Hotel name?" He took the pups hand.
The pup was smart. He gave Radley the exact name of a fancy hotel on the Brisbane strip. Oh he was gonna give these two fuckers a piece of his mind.
"What do you mean they left?!" Radley demanded.
"Checked out hours ago sir." The mini schnauzer said. "Bulldog Beagle family mix? Yeah they ran hurriedly to the elevator grabbed their bags and ran out the door quickly as they came while checking out. Gave me a two hundred dollar tip to not say anything."
"Then why did you tell me?" Radley asked curiously.
"Cause I remember that pup being with them and I say fuck those cuntholes for abandoning a pup in a foreign country." The mini schnauzer said in a whispered tone to Rad behind his hand so the pup wouldn't hear him. "Happens far too often mate."
Radley got out his cellphone. "Hey Chili? How much personally for you to put a Do Not Fly label on three names as fast as possible? 200?" Radley looked over to the clerk who handed over the money. "Do it. What are your aunt Uncle and Cousins names kid?"
"Vernon Dursley, Petunia Dursley, Dudley Dursley."
"CHILD ABANDONMENT?!" Vernon Dursley slammed his paws down on the table. "OUR SON IS HERE IN THIS BUILDING!"
"Child Abandonment is a very serious charge in our country Mr Dursley I suggest you wait for a solicitor." The Doberman security officer. "And the charge is not for your son, but your nephew. A Good Samaritan citizen found him in the park and tracked your location to the hotel where the desk clerk revealed you'd fled."
"That miserable little Twink." Vernon growled. Sitting back.
"Vernon." Petunia elbowed her husband harshly.
"What? I payed him 200 dollars and he couldn't even keep his fat mouth shut."
"VERNON." Petunia hissed loudly again. It was a good thing Dudley wasn't in the room. A social worker had taken him to a children's playroom.
"Sir are you ready to say your piece?" The security guard asked Radley.
"Yeah. You made sure to separate the boys right?"
"Yep. We got two different play rooms for situations just like this." The German shep guard explained. It happened far too often.
"All right, let's do this." Radley said as he got up and was escorted by the guard.
"Tuney?!" Radley said in shock. Recognizing the beagle female after a moment.
"Radley?!" Petunia gasped in shock. Recognizing the Heeler's fur pattern instantly.
Vernon looked back and forth to Petunia and the new strange male that came in. "Pet?" He asked.
"I shoulda fuckin known." Radley said as he crossed his arms. "I shoulda fuckin known your fuckin family would pull this bullshit again."
Radley had been the adopted child of another family, the Evans in England. A family of Beagles. Then they became pregnant with their eldest birth child Petunia. When Radley was 5 and Petunia 3 they took the family on a camping trip to Australia. One day Radley went off exploring the campsite finding other kids his own age to play with. When he got back...
"Mum? Dad? Tuney?" He called out as the small boy ran around their now empty campsite. "Mama? Daddy? Tuney?!" He called out in panic.
Nearby, a childless couple, The Heelers, heard the young pup crying under a tree and the rest as they say, is history,
"Oh no he's not going back with you. Not if I have anything to say about it," Radley said after hours of argument.
"You got nothing on us mate." Vernon sneered in Radleys face. "Your just a burden that got left behind and-"
WHAM.
Radley socked Vernon right in his nose.
"Vernon!" Petunia shouted as blood flew. "Do something!" She begged the security guard Doberman.
"I didn't see nothing." The security officer said slyly.
"I have a family who loves me." Radley said. "Fuck the Evans and FUCK YOU." He said to Petunia. "I lived. I have a good life! I got married a few months ago you have a sister in law now! Or you would have if we were still family."
"Radley?" Chili asked as he came back to her desk where Harry was playing with some toys Chili kept in case she had a bring your kid to work day.
"Hey there litte mate. This is gonna be hard to believe but, I'm your Uncle Radley."
"How is that possible?" Chili asked.
"the See You Next Tuesday who abandoned him? My sister Petunia." Radley said as he hugged the traumatized 5 year old.
"No way." Chili said in shock."You haven't seen her since you were what five years old?"
"Yep, wanted to get rid of him and remembered how her parents got rid of me. That makes me this little guys Uncle. "Harry, this is your Aunt Chili. She's my Sister In Law."
"Welcome to the family." Chili said kindly.
Harry seemed to cling to Radley as they navigated the custody papers.
"Petunia and Vernon agreed to send over information about Harry's mum and Dad that we'd need to know and all his vaccination records." Radley said as he and Chili talked as Harry ate a cheeseburger in the airport food court. "A couple years after they ditched me they had another daughter, Harry's mum Lily,"
"What are we gonna tell the family?" Chili asked.
"Say nothing for now. Let Harry get settled with me. I'll bring him by to meet Bandit and the girls this weekend?" Radley suggested. "Actually. He had second thoughts. "My place isn't exactly kid friendly yet and I know you two have an unused bedroom, would you two be so kind as to babysit while I get my place ready for him?"
"I'd be delighted to." Chili said.
"Great! Okay Harry, listen to me little mate. I'm gonna need you to be a big brave boy for me. My place isn't exactly safe for a little one your size yet and I need a few days to make things ready for you. So you're gonna stay with your Aunt Chili and Uncle Bandit for a few days alright? I promise I'm coming back for you."
"You promise?" Harry asked unsure.
"Cross my heart hope to fry stick a croc in my eye." Rad poked his eye on purpose "Ow."
Harry giggled and hugged his newfound Uncle. "Okay."
Harry was not a toddler but he was small for his breed so they put him in Bingos car seat for safety.
"Don't be shy they're all very nice I promise."
"Who ya got there love?" Bandit asked as Chili opened the door and the girls both ran to and hugged her shouting "Mom!"
"Bandit something happened today and well, Radley found his nephew." Chili said. "Remember how he was abandoned by a Beagle family? Well-" Harry nervously peeked from behind Chili. "Meet our new nephew Harry."
"Nice ta meet ya squirt. I'm your Uncle Bandit. These little terrors are your cousins Bingo and Bluey." He pointed to the smaller red heeler for bingo and the older blue heeler for Bluey.
"I'm Harry." Harry said timidly.
"Do you like space?" Bingo asked.
"I watched Star Wars while I was locked in my cupboard and my cousin was having his birthday party last year." Harry shrugged. "I liked it alright."
"What do you mean locked in your cupboard?" Chili asked after a look shared with Bandit.
"Do you call it something else here? Uncle Radleys getting my broom closet ready right?" The small boy asked casually. "I'm little I don't need a lot of space."
Bandit and Chili looked horrified while Bingo and Bluey looked confused.
"Uh girls, why don't you go start playing Hotels with Harry upstairs? Me and Dad need to call Uncle Radley, Privately." She added as an afterthought.
"THEY DID WHAT?" Radley shouted through the phone.
"We wanted you to be prepared mate, we were shocked too." Bandit said to Radley.
"A cupboard a fucking cupboard Bands." Rad said practically in tears. "And he wasn't even adopted like me, he was Petunias flesh and blood!" Radley sat down and actually sobbed. "I, I can't believe she'd do this not my little Tuney."
"Well Rad you haven't seen the bint since she was what like 3 right?" Bandit asked. "You can't blame yerself for how she turned out mate. You're an amazing Uncle to our girls and I know you're gonna be an amazing Dad to this kid."
"And Friskies gonna be an amazing mum." Chili added.
"Oh god Frisky." Rad said. "I made this decision without consulting her."
"Well I mean Rad, the boy is family. It's not like you're taking in a random orphan off the street without asking her." Bandit pointed out.
"Rad what's going on?" Frisky came in seeing Rad on the floor. Rad hung up the phone.
"Babe uh, I got some big news. Know how you always wanted to be a mum? Well uh, surprise?" He laughed nervously, and launched into an explanation of the events of his day and his backstory before the Heelers."
"Jesus, Rad." Frisky said.
"I know right? What are the odds they'd abandon him at precisely the moment I'd be walking by?"
"That's gotta be astronomical." Frisky said, helping Rad up.
"Your not mad?" Rad asked m nervously, remembering their near distasterous wedding.
"I am a bit miffed at the sudden change but I do understand your desperation." Frisky said as she hugged her husband. "You see yourself in Him, don't you?"
"I can't help it." Rad said. "If the Heelers hadn't found me, likely i'dve been carried off by a predator, carnivorous or not."
Frisky winced at the implication. Yeah the 80s wasn't the safest time for Australia. It was honestly amazing their parents let them go off and play. Considering the Satanic Panic in America. "It's gonna be a huge change, for both of us. But we can get through it." Frisky said with an encouraging pump of her arm to her left. "And we'll show that boy we can be the best parents he'll ever have."
"I love you." Rad said giving Frisky a kiss and a smile. "So much."
"Love you bunches." Frisky said back.
"There's uh, something else you should know too..."
"THEY DID WHAT?!"
The Heeler family all heard Frisky shouting from across town. Little Harry paused as he caught a ball he and the girls were tossing around while Bandit mowed the lawn.
"I'm gonna kill them."
"Babe, You can't kill them."
"I'm gonna kill them." Frisky said as she stomped over to the key rack and Rad quickly snagged all the keys. "give me my keys!"
"No." Rad said. Holding the keys high out of her reach.
"Radley Heeler you Give me my keys." Frisky said as she grabbed Radleys puppy makers hard and squeezed them painfully.
"Babe, I'm just trying to keep you from doing something that will get you thrown in jail and keep you from being a mother to a boy who needs you." Radley groaned through gritted teeth.
"If I ever meet Vernon Dursley I am kicking him in the balls." The blonde Red Heeler hissed angrily.
"Fair enough I punched him." Radley groaned in pain as she released him.
"Let's get this place child friendly!" Frisky said looking around at Rad's knife collection, Their Glock 17 and H & K Handguns (obtained legally and fully registered with their local PD in accordance with their local Gun laws) where on the couch tables albeit in holsters, they'd need a gun safe now. open/empty beer bottles, empty wine bottles. "We may need to cut back on the drinking." She added.
"Just a bit." Rad agreed noticing suddenly all the bottles around the apartment with a wince. "Tell ya what once we clean this place up and clean out the office room let's go to ToyTown and see if we can't wrangle up a room he'll love eh?"
"Sounds good." Frisky agreed. Starting by ordering a Twin size bed and mattress set space themed from a local store on her laptop. "It'll be a great start!" Her tail wagged as they hugged again. "Our own little family!" She said happily.
To be continued...
Next Time On Radley and Frisky's Magical Parenthood Adventure!
Harry learns the ins and outs of Hotels with his newfound cousins Bluey and Bingo and Aunt Chili and Uncle Bandit.He slowly starts getting acclimated to life in a proper family. Rad and Frisky explore ToyTown as new parents and quickly get overwhelmed.
Authors Note:
So I've been bitten by the Bluey Bug. It's wholesome, it's charming, I love the art style and animation. It's not crap either like a lot of kids shows. (Looking at you Caillou) This was inspired by The Gift of Sirius. I also saw a picture on Reddit of Harry as a little English Beagle and adored it, so that combine with The Gift of Sirius (waiting for more author of that story if your reading this post) I got inspired to write this! Going along with the idea that English dogs still used Australia as a dumping ground for their unwanted pups and Radley was one of them.
And yes for that last part I did do some googling and found some toy stores in real life Brisbane, Australia and based it off some I found thought it would be a fun idea.