authorsnote: writers blocks a bitch huh? but here we go
do enjoy (and feel all the feels)
songrecs: the albatross - taylor swift (this fics official song I think ... listen to the lyrics, and well... , but not in the way you think)
That night they carried on, on horseback even as exhaustion threatened to have Sansa tip from her horse.
Not that she could have, Jaime had her in front of him, arms flexed around her waist holding the reigns, she knew he'd never risk her at his back again, to be yanked down, a shudder ran up her spine as she remembered it, her own bone chilling fear, the sick feeling in her stomach, the expression on Jaimes face.
His nod, his face when he'd agreed to let them take his sword hand, for her. She'd remember that expression of horror but determination; to keep her safe, until the day she died.
All for her.
That was who it was for, and if she'd had even an inkling of doubt about his love before, how could she now?
Any doubts had left her, and she, tense as a bow string on the horse, Jaime even stiffer behind her, his back ramrod straight, his knuckles white, was who she leaned into, who she turned to on several occasions just to check he was still there, each time he offered her a tense smile.
They rode through the night, even as the moon crept overhead, as they had to go slower to pick their horse along the road. They had paused and replenished their supplies from the marauders packs, two fat saddle bags full of food, water and even a pouch of silver stags sat astride their horse, any suggestion of taking her own to go quicker had died in her throat at Jaimes face, he wouldn't be letting her out of his sight.
That bought her a comfort she couldn't even articulate, it did for him too.
They'd untied the other horses but left them behind, and now ventured deep into the night, the road was quieter, forest empty but for predators, and they ventured silently, ever North, further North.
Jaime clutched her close, any who dared look at the horse as dawn broke were met with vicious glares. Jaime didn't sleep, Sansa nodded off once or twice before waking with a terrified gasp, whipping her head around to check Jaime was okay, he looked exhausted, his handsome face marred by dark circles, but determined, determined to keep her safe.
It warmed her terrified heart.
Only one man approached the horse as the sun peeked over the horizon, a beggar perhaps, he didn't manage a word before Jaime stuck a firm boot in his chest, knocking him to the ground before he could get near Sansa, he didn't show a flinch of remorse as he spurred them on, Sansa didn't say a word.
Several times she pulled the scroll out of her dress pocket, the scroll the men had shown her, taunted her with, her face, sketched in an incredible likeness (hence the hood now pulled over her ears, her red hair plaited and tucked back), and her name stamped clear as day
SANSA STARK, REWARD FOR RETURN (ALIVE), 50,000 GOLD DRAGONS.
A mans riches, those figures could make a man a Lord in a day and they were offering it for her return, for her.
She was terrified.
Before she'd been running, terrified of Lannisters on her heel, and then with Jaime, she hadn't even realized, before she'd fallen in love with him he'd made her feel so very much safer, she hadn't forgotten (how could she), but the threat from Kings Landing had become second to the threat of the road, to falling in love with Jaime, to facing the problems here and now.
And yet Kings Landing always loomed, the place that had once been home, promised to be her prison, it loomed in the background of everything now, in what they were willing to do to get her back.
50,000 dragons could make a man do everything, so she didn't complain as Jaime rode them through the next day. They paused only outside inns, her hood tucked in, Jaime shielding her as they drank, ate, let the horse rest, through the next day they carried on and on, they passed Nutten Inn, close to the settlement, they were making their way up and up the road, within days they would hit the Green Fork, and then onto the Blue, adjacent to Ramsford and then Oldstones.
From there it would be a fortnight to Winterfell, less if they rode fast and the snows weren't too thick. Less than three weeks until she was home.
With the Lannisters right at her back.
They stopped again as evening fell, quiet as they tucked behind a tree, split bread and apples and cheese, and water, the horse resting, but only for a moment.
"Are you alright?" Jaime asked, tone so gentle it almost made her cry, as she nodded, was she? In a sense yes, in a sense no.
But then that had been the way for her for years.
"Are you?" She asked and his nod was swift, dismissive, and yet she had no time to enquire further as he gathered the horse (never more than inches from her), and swung her back onto it, into his arms, rigid around her again, as she ate her apple, and they carried on in silence.
As night fell Sansa decided it was time to speak, they'd been quiet all day, other than Jaime asking after her half a hundred times, quiet and contemplative to what had happened, to what they'd experienced.
Sansa had barely slept, jolting awake, Jaimes hand on hers the only thing to soothe her, but she was used to nightmares now, what a horrible thing to be used to, to not be so effected by anymore, even Jaimes hand on hers felt odd, she'd never had anyone to comfort her through them before.
Kings Landing had been the prison of her nightmares, the scroll tucked in her pocket spoke of how badly the Lannisters, Jaimes family wanted to pull her back there.
She'd die first.
"Jaime, we should stop" She said in a hushed whisper, night would soon fall, the road quieter and quiet again, they passed another inn, 'North to Nutten', the Green Fork would be but a day away, and yet Sansa knew they couldn't ride indefinitely to the North, Jaime had to rest.
And Sansa knew she wouldn't be able to sleep now, not without Jaime, not without each other.
She hadn't even realized how fewer nightmares she'd had, she slept better under bridges, shivering in the cold, with Jaimes arm around her, than she ever had in the softest feather bed of Kings Landing.
Jaime had offered her comfort time and time again, even today, offering her an extra apple, the pink sweet ones, kissing her forehead as she turned to him, soothing her with a stroke of his thumb, asking again and again, "Are you alright?" As she shivered and tucked back against him.
Now it was her turn.
"Jaime" She said louder, she could only see one or two people outside the inn, but she knew Jaime would never let them sleep in it, not with the poster burning a hole in her pocket, and the reminder they were hunted now, not blindly, but with her face to the hunt, but they had to rest.
As the inn disappeared behind them she spoke again, and turned, more forceful this time.
"We have to stop, the forest will be quiet of predators this close to the inn, we can sleep close by" She said, knowing a little of nature thanks to her upbringing, "Jaime!"
"I can go on" He said, half exhausted, haunted, was the word, and she then turned fully, almost upending herself, but he caught her, of course he did. Though being caught allowed her to shake his arm, hard (okay it probably wasn't hard for him), but it forced Jaime to meet her gaze, especially as she offered him a glare.
"I want to stop now!" She said in a firm tone, "We need to sleep, you especially need to sleep"
"Sleep in my arms" Jaime said, she knew he was overthinking the fight, thinking about what had almost happened to her, thinking of how he almost hadn't been able to stop them. She scolded herself, for being so tired, so scared, for not checking on him throughout the day and night as he had her, now was time to rectify that.
She knew what he needed, and that emboldened her, she knew, because he was hers.
"I can't sleep without you sleeping next to me" She insisted, and it was the truth, perhaps Jaime heard that, pulled the horse to the side of the road, and turned to her, she knew it was cheap, to know he'd prioritise her, but it worked.
He pulled her down from the horse as though she weighed nothing, she remembered his arms, strong and powerful as he held her, but also as he thought off 6 men with a dagger to their longswords, the way his muscles had rippled, so strong, so quick, and yet it didn't scare her, if anything it made her feel safer.
She hadn't been scared as she'd seen Jaime, deadlier with a blade than any other she'd witnessed, no, she'd been emboldened if anything, who could take her from his side now?
She had the best protector at her side, her husband, and she knew he'd die before he let anyone hurt her.
In a way he almost had.
Now it was her turn to protect him, in her own way.
In the way she could.
"Let's sleep Jaime" She said gently, turning to him, she leaned in tentatively, the inn was only around the corner, but it was quiet as she cupped his face, as his gaze met hers, that Lannister green to her Tully blue, once she had hated it, now it brought her comfort. "Please"
A nod, he could never deny her.
But she paused as he went to turn to the forest, she'd never known him so quiet, and she knew why. So she paused.
"It wasn't your fault" She said ever so quietly, knowing Jaime needed to hear it, knowing him. Turning back to him. "You saved me"
He didn't cry or crumple, that wasn't Jaimes way, but he did nod, something passing over his face, and she spoke again, she knew she needed to.
"You saved my life" She said again, quietly, her thumbs running over his cheekbones, ever so gently, "More than once, you saved me, again and again"
"Did I?" He asked, in a bitter tone, something close to teasing but much worse, and she offered him a sad look in response, how could she not feel that? Jaime was completely wrong here, to think he hadn't. "I never should have let them get a hand on you"
"It was an ambush" Sansa insisted as Jaime shook his head with a bitter scoff, that was the Jaime she'd first met, blustering, false, and she glared at him then, "And you saved me, you almost …"
She took his sword hand in hers then, tears threatening, "You almost gave up everything-"
"You are everything" He cut her off before she could say another word, and then he was cupping her cheeks and she sighed into it, into feeling it, what she needed, what they needed, "Everything Sansa"
"As you are to me" She said fiercely, "Always"
Always.
"And that's why I know you'll always save me" She said, "I know you'll save me"
He had in a thousand ways since they'd met on the road.
"Over and over" She whispered. "Over and over"
Something shifted in his gaze, the tiredness remained but something eased, especially as Sansa leaned in, placed a kiss to his cheek, soft as a butterfly's wing and whispered.
"I know you will always save me" And she did, like the vow he'd given when they'd wed, she knew this one was no less.
She knew it in her bones, her heart, her soul.
And she knew it helped Jaime, as he softened, the rigid protectiveness of the day remained, but it eased into something, something as he leaned forward and their lips met.
"Always" He said gruffly as they pulled apart, tiredness in his tone, but he pulled her in close, kissed her forehead, and then nodded, grabbed the horses reigns and let them into the forest, though he never released his arm around her shoulders, she didn't' mind, leaning into him, her head tucked under his chin, his hand firm on her waist.
"I will always" He promised again as he found them a small cropping of trees, and Sansa nodded, that vow she cherished, as she leaned in brushing her lips to his.
She knew, she always knew.
They tucked themselves into a small cropping, the horse settling near, it was dark enough they had a small fire, to keep away predators, and to warm their hands, colder and colder as it was now. Jaimes hand didn't leave his sword, even as she tucked into him, their cloaks crossed, her head on his shoulder, his resting atop hers.
It was quiet, only the hoot of an owl broke the night, few dared venture into the forest and few predators would venture this close to the road.
That night, lit by their humble fire Jaime and Sansa were alone, and both allowed sleep to steal them both, tucked into one another as they were.
a transition chapter but one that was needed, my poor bbys
and yet next chapter? oh we get some dramaaaaaaaaa for they are approaching ... can you guess?
do review, do guess! speak soon(er)