It's The Ocean!

"Woo hoo! We're going to the beach! Beach! Beach! Beach!"
"Beach. Beach. Beach."

Six-eight-two bodily twitched. The fact that it sounded almost too close to bitch did not make it a pleasant word to hear, especially coming from the mouths of children. Fortunately, Issei was too young to even know what a curse word is, and he likely wasn't even trying to swear to begin with. He was referencing actual beaches.

But the more he thought about it, the sooner he realized how little he actually knew. And thus, he spoke: "What even is a beach?"

The words had Issei pausing mid-run, looking over to him curiously. "Wait, you don't know, Mister Lizard?"

The name would have made him roll his eyes at some point, but by now, he was too tired to correct him, much less react to it. He'd gotten used to it somewhere along the way—such is the cost of repetitive exposure, he supposed, and the psychological implications would have been worrying if he had the energy for that. Thankfully, he didn't.

Instead, he focused on his prior question, nodding. "Yeah. I get that Gorou intends to take all of us there on a trip—" And what a headache that seemed. There were eight of them; Ddraig didn't count. He lived in the boy's soul, after all. There would be no issue with transportation in that sense. "—but I've never heard of it before."

"Mm," Ophis nodded. "I, too, would like to know, what it is."

"Well, it's the coolest place on the planet!"

Though Ophis seemed impressed by the answer, judging by the quiet 'Ooh…' she was giving and the shine in her eyes, that practically answered nothing. To the boy's childish mind, just about everything was 'the coolest place'. And that didn't help.

Sighing, he looked to Miki instead, who had been watching them with the motherly amusement expected of one who's very much enjoying having many children. A fulfilment of a memory old desire of having a large, healthy family.

She nodded at his gaze. "It's basically the seaside, though I suppose that isn't fully accurate… Hmm. This would help with a diagram, but I suppose this will have to do. Issei, go take some paper and a pencil."

"Okay, Mom!"

In one of their talks regarding his family, Gorou had once told him that, while Miki hadn't exactly been an overachiever in class—she wasn't terrible in her studies, though she wasn't outstanding either. A comfortably average girl, she was—she had a talent for practical work, hence her talents being those related to housework. Cleaning, cooking, doing the laundry…

It was what made her the quintessential wife, and a firm pillar of support for the Hyoudou household. Even with the increase in their numbers, she was still devoted in taking care of them with nary a complaint, something that he truly appreciated.

And let it be known that his gratitude to her was undying now that Chiyo had joined them. No insult intended towards the eldritch girl, for she was only now taking to these sorts of work and was slowly working to improve herself. But uh, there was a stark difference between the clumsy girl and the older, experienced mother. The less explosions in the kitchen, the better.

Still, he was taken by surprise when Miki took pencil to paper and began sketching. And not simple scribbles befitting a toddler. Her lines were gentle, swooping, yet they were accurate and portrayed the subtle difference between environment and object. Land was sculptured with expect asymmetry, scattered dots and tiny strokes to depict solidity. An expanse of water stretched far off into the distance, imitating the horizon, and she planted an elongated and thin tree in the earth, unique in that it lacked the typical foliage of a forest tree, its leaves singular and fanning outwards, large round fruits hanging from it. She added more trees, then filled the skies with birds and clouds, and the water shimmered deft shading, the sun in the corner applying shadows and focal light on the drawing as a whole.

And all of that was under three minutes.

Ddraig whistled from Issei's hand. [Goodness!] He cried, sounding impressed. [That was some swift drawing, Miki. And it's such a lovely thing!]

"Yeah Mom! It's so cool!"

"Mother is, so amazing."

Their genuine praise had the woman giggling into her hand, smiling widely. "Heehee! Thank you, everyone. I just really loved to draw as a child, and I did take it as far as I could in high school. Wasn't interested in becoming an artist, though I did have thoughts of pursuing it after marrying Gorou…"

Well, maybe she should. For a long time now, it was a well-established fact that humans were simply capable of excelling in a variety of things. One might argue that they were inferior to other races, especially when it came to combat, but humans had evolved to become incredibly sophisticated, constantly improving on old subjects to the point that comparing the latest trend to the progenitor was comparing heaven and earth.

Technology was always going to be the best example. The man who first invented the wheel had likely intended it to be used for pottery or sewing, not to go onto wooden carriages. That the carriage would then be turned into a metal vehicle called a car would have been just as unbelievable for that man. And that wasn't even mentioning transportation by air!

And just as man had made leaps in the physical realm, so too had they tapped into their inner, more creative side to share with others. Art and language were ever-changing, and while he wasn't familiar with them in the slightest (hey, he'd been locked underground for decades. Give him a break), he knew that there were always going to be plenty of historic figures in that realm.

And Miki, with this artwork, might just be able to stand on the same stage as them if this is her quality of work. It was genuinely incredible.

Miki began pointing at parts of her drawing, Six-eight-two and Ophis watching her with full attention. "What I drew here is the sea. The large body of water that covers seventy percent of the Earth's surface is called the sea."

"Can we, drink the sea?"

"It's salty, dear. If you drink too much of it, you'll become dehydrated."

"Ahh," the girl hummed. "But it's water."

"Right. But the way our kidneys work is that, because the sea is saltwater, meaning it has a lot of salt, we'll have to get rid all of that salt from our body by going to the bathroom. But when we do, we have to get rid of just as much water… I think."

[Ah, I know what you're referring to. Human bodies operate on homeostasis, meaning the balance of the body's functions. When there's a concentration of salt in one part, water diffuses towards it down the concentration gradient to balance out both sides. This is why, as the kidneys excrete salt in the urine, water gets pulled as well, and no matter how much saltwater is ingested, water is also lost in the process, so eventually, the person will expire due to dehydration.]

Everyone stared at Ddraig with blank expressions. Six-eight-two just nodded in understanding. While that had been an information dump, it was a reasonably simple summary for what was necessary information, as the entire process was far more complicated; glomerular filtration, counter-current, concentrations. His biology was immaculate, and he had long mastered biology after decades of self-studying and experimentation, which enabled him to understand human's relatively lesser, but no less advanced, system.

Sensing their confusing, Ddraig chuckled. [Long story short, don't read seawater. It's not good for you.]

"R-Right! Just as Ddraig said!" Quickly nodded the brunette, happy to keep the ball rolling. "In any case, that's the sea. And by the sea, you have the beach, which is basically a land made up of sand. There's a lot of things to see; coconut trees, crabs, seagulls, seashells…"

"I see. Is this beach a popular destination choice?"

"Oh, yes. Plenty of people love to come here. Lots of things to do here, after all!" She began listing down on her fingers. "We could lay out a picnic blanket to sit on and eat together, or play some games like volleyball, or go swimming in the waters—"

"And the best thing of all! Sandcastles!"

"Sandcastles?"

"Sandcastles!" Issei parroted, making him sweat-drop and Ophis perk up.

"I… will assume that, by the name alone, it means constructing castles out of sand. But if such a thing is a passing affair of enjoyment for you humans, then I have to admit, you're a lot more grandiose than I expected."

"Oh, are you thinking of actual castles?" The boy's mother shook her head. "Heavens, no, we're not that crazy to go that far! I doubt we'd have enough room to build one! Let alone the amount of sand you'd need to construct a life-sized castle."

"Huh? Then how big is it?"

"It's like this big," when Issei put his hands only an arm apart, he gawked. That was tiny! "But it's fun! You get to build it together, and then put seashells on it to make it look pretty! Dad's especially good at digging up a trench around it to make water flow around it! Although it just goes back into the sand eventually."

"We, must do it," Ophis suddenly said. The lizard sighed at the stars in her eyes. "We need to build a sandcastle. And it will be the greatest of them all. We will make others tremble before our mighty bastion."

"You bet we will!"

Six-eight-two stared between them, then shook his head. "Both of you do realize that it's no larger than either of you, right? I think calling it mighty will be a challenge in itself."

"Nothing's impossible if we do it together!" The boy nodded. "We'll build the greatest sandcastle together, for sure!"

"Yes, we will. For our family."

"For our family!"

[For our family] Ddraig chorused with a chuckle.

Miki giggled along, pumping a fist in the air. "For our family!"

A prolonged silence followed shortly after. Six-eight-two then felt their expectant gazes falling upon him, and he glared back, eyes narrowed. "No."

"Oh, come ooon! You're a part of the family too! You need to say it, Mister Lizard!"

"No! I'd sooner bite my tongue off than say such a thing!"

"Awww! Come on! Say it, Mister Lizard! Say it, say it, say it!"

To his dismay, the others began chanting alongside the boy, their unified voices filling the room. It got only worse when Chiyo and Nyanlathotep came by, none of them knowing what was going on but for the older sister excitedly rushing to join the chorus, the blue cat joining because she was interested. And then it was Gorou, and finally Lucy, yipping in time with everyone else.

His eyes twitched. They were determined to get the words out of him, he was certain. Nothing would cut down their attempts. What he'd give to have a heart attack right now. Stupid perfect biological adaptations…

Can't Have Too Much of a Good Thing

"And this, Six-eight-two, is saltwater."

That statement, out of context, would have come off as the most strangest thing to say. Even with it, all Six-eight-two could do was stare in stupor as Nyanlathotep put down a water-filled plastic bottle on the dining table. And, against anyone's expectations, it didn't have some particularly magical look to it or some kind of odd scent. It literally just looked like water.

Six-eight-two stared at the bottle, then at Nyan, then at the bottle, and finally at Nyan once more.

"What?"

"Well, I'd wonder if you were curious about how it might look like or taste, so I thought to make a quick trip to the middle of the Pacific Ocean to harvest some water," she said it so casually that it only confused everyone even further.

"Um. Everyone here knows how salt tastes like, so it's not difficult to imagine salty water… right?"

[Practical experience is the greatest teacher of them all] Ddraig said sagely, though he quickly backtracked with a nervous sweat-drop. [Though I don't think it needs to be said that it would be best if no one actually tries to consume this, right? Even a sip of it is just gross. Some things just aren't meant to be consumed.]

"Humans are told not to consume frogs and spiders and the like. Yet, you look around the world and there are people who do just that."

[Different cultures, ethnicities and legends. Look, cuisine is crazy when you think about it. That's a subject for another day.]

Hmm. Well, he didn't exactly have a picky palate, so he was more than fine with eating whatever he could sink his teeth into. His time in the forests had seen him appreciate the raw, juicy (or, at times, seared to a crisp) toad or eel, so he wouldn't have minded eating what most people would consider as odd.

Perhaps it was odd now, but back in the day, when survival necessitated the use of whatever resources, grossness be damned. That meant relying on odd vegetation and unorthodox meats. And perhaps that culture would be passed down to the modern generation, who would preserve such meals for the sake of honouring and remembering their ancestors.

Now, in the modern world, people had become more sophisticated. They have now prioritized certain animals, even turning them into livestock, due to countless factors; cost efficiency, amount of meat, lower chances of getting diseases, religion—he believed there were a few beliefs that forbade the consumption of carnivores—and others. A very fascinating topic that he would love to look into another day.

[Nevertheless, I really don't think anyone should drink—]

The youngest(-looking) daughter of the Hyoudou household stepped forward. "I, shall do it," she declared, an uncharacteristic steel in her tone that made Issei gasp in awe, but for Ddraig to falter.

[Lady Ophis, you should reconsider this.]

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained. A common human phrasing. That is, to say, one cannot gain something without braving the unknown. And I, am ready to leave my comfort zone to try something new."

Under normal circumstances, that would have been a fairly motivational speech that would have shaken some hearts. Coming from Ophis, however, it was almost silly; how could he taker her seriously, when she had the looks, voice and mannerisms of a ten-year-old?

And yes, he knew she was apparently a dragon capable of destroying the world, but so what? He could, too, and he doubted Nyan and Chiyo would have any troubles doing so as well. And none of them were going to do it. Everything was fiiine.

Mind made up, Ophis took to filling a tiny little cup with just a sliver of saltwater. He was familiar enough with the metric system due to his years of listening in on the scientists talking about how much venom was injected into him, or how much of his flesh was extracted or destroyed. And judging by the tiny glass, he estimated it to be around fifty millilitres.

Glass in hand, head empty, Ophis put the glass to her lips and tipped back.

And the glass hit the table—

"Hrhyeekkh..!"

And a sound unlike anything he'd ever heard from her shot forth. It was like a cross between a groan and a vomit, her childlike face twisted into a grimace as she jutted her tongue out, shuddering.

[Told you] Ddraig hummed, even as Chiyo rushed to get some orange juice for her little sister, who accepted the glass and chugged it down with desperation, gasping in pure relief afterwards. [So. Thoughts?]

"Terrible..!" She cried out, uncharacteristically sounding disgruntled. "To think that one of the most common flavouring used in cooking can taste so terrible…"

"The word you're looking for is 'overpowering'. After all, what you drank was water concentrated with salt," Nyan said calmly. "In cooking, we have to adjust the amount of flavouring that goes into the meal. There's never too little or too much of something; there has to be a delicate balance so that, rather than over or under-flavouring something, it complements the other ingredients and the meal as a whole."

"Wow. You sound just like Mom does when she talks about cooking, Auntie Nyan Nyan."

The bluenette chuckled a little. "Yes, well, we have been getting around to talking a bit about culinary topics. While I'm hardly suited to the kitchen because of my size, I at least accompany her and Chiyo when they're cooking to talk about all kinds of things."

"Hmm. Now that Ophis has tried, I suppose I can try as well."

[Good luck.]

Naturally, because of his advanced biology, Six-eight-two had little trouble adjusting his tongue receptors to dull the sharp tang after his first sip. Damn. So that's how a pure taste of salt would go. He can see why even Ophis was shaken by that.

And then Issei took a sip, and shivered.

Then Chiyo tried it, and almost threw up.

And then Nyan tried it, and he wondered how she even consumed the drink when she didn't have a mouth on her face.

Then Lucy tried it, and proceeded to yip happily, utterly unbothered by the taste and more happy to just be in the presence of her family. That was the end of it.

From Beyond the Stars

Imagine destroying someone's house, then coming back a couple of days later to visit the victims. Not exactly a situation most ordinary people could claim to having been in the shoes of, but here she was, standing right in front of a roofless house in her human form and with a gift basket in her arms.

Tiamat could feel the sweat dripping down her brow. This was like walking towards a death flag. In hindsight, maybe she could have just talked to them without needing to wreck their house. Sure, she had beef with Ddraig, but it wasn't like his host's family deserved any repercussions.

Hearing the raucous cheers from within dashed any fears of them being in any form of bad mood. A lively bunch, this family was. It was quite likely the young boy hosting Ddraig, and she could make out his father's voice and Chiyo's, if the girlish pitch was any indication.

The dragoness shuddered. Even thinking about her was bringing back that sense of terror that she'd thought she had overcome. The girl may have been fine with letting it be water under the bridge, but how was she meant to sit in the same room as some monster wearing a human disguise?

Urgh. And she felt bad for even thinking that when the girl had been… well, she wasn't friendly by any means, but she'd been fairly courteous and polite by the end of it. And she had little doubt that she was endeared by her family, especially Ddraig's host.

'Would it be too late for me to transform and leave? I could just meet Ddraig at a different time.'

Then again… it would be a shame. She'd gone out of her way to pick this fruit basket, and she did want to speak to Ddraig again, if only because she wanted to give the both of them the opportunity to bury the hatchet. Now that her treasure had been recovered, she simply had no reason to hold onto that grudge.

…Okay, maybe she wasn't completely over it. If only Ddraig had sought her out and spoken to her, rather than run from her over and over again. Things would have been simpler!

Shaking her head, she raised her fist and knocked on the door, already cementing her fate even as she internally screamed about how much she was regretting it already. Was it still too late to go already?!

Footsteps moved towards the door, and the knob twisted in a short while. A shock of brown hair and brown eyes peeked at her from the open doorway, and the boy's smile only seemed to widen upon making eye contact with her.

"Tiamat!" He chirped, bouncing on his heels. "You came to visit?"

"A-Ah. Yes, I did," she nodded. He quickly pulled back the door, allowing her to pass him by. "Thank you. Is your family home?"

"Yep! Oh, Auntie Nyan Nyan went out to meet some friends. And Dad took Lucy out for a walk."

"I see. Well, I bear gifts," she held up the basket she held. "It's not much, but I hope it is to your liking."

"Aw, thanks, Tiamat! Come on in! We were just playing tag!"

Somehow, the inside of the house managed to look even neater than before. Despite the fact that the leader of the fallen angels was apparently going to be in charge of the renovation, they hadn't thought to move out, more than happy to just stay here and keep the place as tidy as possible.

Not like one could call a house missing a roof tidy, by any means, but still. The furniture was in place, everyone looked to be chilling in the living room, and Ophis was currently testing out some strange magic under Chiyo's supervision.

That last part might have been a real cause for concern, but seeing that no one else batted an eye, she forced herself to do the same, if only to save her sanity the trouble.

"Hey, everyone! Look! Tiamat came to visit!"

'Yes, Issei. Let everyone know that the overly nervous dragon who's currently contemplating escape has just entered the room.'

Before she could let any other thoughts lead her astray, a familiar presence greeted her with a level of calm. [Welcome, Tiamat. We didn't expect to see you so soon after your last visit. I'd assumed that your work would have kept you busy.]

"Ehh. Not much trouble in the supernatural world as of late, so I've not had much to do recently," she said with a shrug, moving over to sit by the lizard—and even thinking that was weird, but it seemed to her like weird was simply the default mode of this household. Chiyo approached after some time to take the basket off her hands, and she relinquished it with a nod. "Thank you. I hope it's to your liking."

"Oh, it certainly is! Don't worry. I'm sure Father and Mother would appreciate this as well."

"And where is your mother at the moment?"

"She's taking a nap upstairs. We were a little busy last night."

"Busy? With what?"

"We were visited by some aliens from outer space."

If this was a TV show, they would have turned off the background music, showed the layout of the room with all of them present, then panned towards her face as they played cricket sounds. And then she, perfectly playing the part of a stupefied actor, would blink before she blurted: "What?"

"It was, unexpected. Their UFO crashed on the road in front of our house last night, and we were quick to disguise their vehicle and bring them in to treat their wounds. Apparently, the aliens were in a fight with space monsters."

As someone who hadn't gone to space or met those kinds of entities, all of that sounded like the ramblings of a drunkard. Any hope of that being just that died a quick death when Chiyo nodded. "Yup. It was a good thing that we were quick too. Otherwise, all our neighbours would have seen them!"

"And they were pretty friendly too! They looked just like that one movie."

[I was initially concerned that they were going to harm the family, but thankfully, with both Lucy and Six-eight-two to communicate with them, they were instantly friendly with us. Rather knowledgeable, as well. If only we got to talk to them a little longer.]

"Indeed. It was, rather refreshing to learn more about the distant systems."

"Wait wait wait! Please, stop for a moment!" Tiamat cried out. "You're telling me that aliens crash-landed in the middle of the street last night. And you actually helped to treat them?"

"That was it, yeah."

Tiamat looked around, wondering if someone was going to burst into a laughing fit at her stupor, or jump out and call this whole spiel to be a prank. It would have been a very well-coordinated joke, seeing that everyone here was so in sync.

And yet, they were so serious about it, it was as if they were talking about the weather! Issei had even started gushing about how cool the interior of the UFO was, while Six-eight-two empathized on the strange nature of the aliens, almost akin to himself.

Aliens. It seemed almost ridiculous to believe that they existed, yet she was quick to acknowledge her shortsightedness on the matter, considering that the universe was vast and there were still plenty of unknown elements out there that she didn't know. There were countless religions and pantheons with a variety of deities and species. Even Chiyo came from the stars, as did Nyanlathotep, so listening to them talk about aliens wasn't supposed to feel ridiculous.

But really… aliens?

She looked to Chiyo, who giggled in her hand at a strange comment made by Six-eight-two. A horrific entity from beyond the stars with a power far greater than anything she'd ever seen, and somehow, she was sitting there on the couch, beautiful and unassuming.

It took her a total of five minutes of pondering and scrutinizing before finally sighing. The ridiculousness of this whole ordeal was a little more than she'd expected, but if she was going to be dealing with this family for a long time, might as well get started on getting used to it.

In that very moment, off in a different galaxy, a strange disc-like vehicle sailed through the stars, utilizing ethereal energy that was beyond man's current understanding of technology. Its engines would have whirred with a strange sound were it in the sky of a planet containing ample air for vibration and sound transmission. As it is, it was quiet in space and only they could hear themselves inside of their machine.

And by they, obviously we're referring to the aliens.

Tall, spindly creatures with almost minimal proportions, yet a product of terror in the eyes of most children. Its flesh was not flesh, and more a collection of hard, spindly fibres that were woven over one another to construct a bipedal vessel, heads elongated as sharp teeth clacked and a hooked tail swished about, tapping on their floor made of a strange component.

And there wasn't just one of it. There were two others as well, each one resembling one another and operating different machines to calculate the trajectory of several asteroids drifting through space, navigating the numerous planets and the databases of their ecosystems, and other dangerous entities wandering the endlessness.

One of them hissed something in its own language. A mix of soft growls, clattering teeth and a sound with a pitch higher than the audible range of humans. The others responded as well, and to the non-understanding creature, they might have wondered what sort of communication passed through them.

As it should be understood, not every conversation has to be deep or profound. On a daily basis, one can expect an approximately ninety-nine percent of conversation spoken between two people or more to be utterly trivial in nature, or at least not important enough to be called philosophical.

Such a rule, then, could be applied to every creature in existence. And these aliens were no exception.

"Man. That Chiyo gal was a beaut, huh?"

"Get out of here. That feline aunt of hers was hot as hell. I'd let her step on me."

"I'm much more of a fan of those humans' virtually generated females. That cyan-haired idol is adorable."

"Bro."

"You have a million choices, and that's the one you're gunning for?"

"Oh, buzz off!"

Truly, if there was ever anything that all species shared, it was gossip, apparently.