I Need To Burgle Your Husband

by NickedNack

Cami looked back and forth between them, and almost seemed like she would object. But her answer was, "I guess she'll just hear it from you later anyway." She looked away, and crossed her arms over her chest, almost defensively. "I've decided to have another daughter!"

Me, trying to speed run an entire extended family AU in one story.

Stoick should have gotten to meet his grandkids!

"Now just so we're clear," Hiccup gestured decisively with his hands. "There's going to be NO banging of heads against rocks!"

Standing on the front porch of his son's house, the retired chief Stoick the Vast let out a deep throated chuckle that shook his graying beard. "I suppose you want the kids to raid your sock drawer, and lose them all in the woods trying to catch trolls."

"As a matter of fact I would," his son retorted. "A few socks is a small price to pay to avoid brain damage."

"Oh stow it all, you didn't turn out any worse for it," the older viking gave his son a "gentle" punch on the arm that almost knocked him off the porch.

"You mean after the swelling in my head went down?" Hiccup said pointedly.

"Are you sure your swollen head ever went down?" Astrid couldn't resist getting in as she led her two children out the door. Both were ladened down with the packs filled with everything their cautious father had worried they might need for a couple nights camping in the woods.

"Well, are my two strapping young vikings ready to prove their metal," Stoick leaned over with hands on knees as he grinned at his precious grandchildren.

"READY," Zephyr snapped up as tall and straight as she could, imitating her mothers own ready-and-waiting stance as best she could. Nuffink tried to do the same, but had to stop himself teetering backward under the weight of his pack.

"Are you sure you packed enough," Stoick grinned at his son. "There might still be room to throw in the kitchen sink in case they need it!"

"Well the viking way may be to go without, but my way is better to have it and not need it," Hiccup countered.

"They're only going to be gone three days babe," Astrid said as she helped her son straighten the pack that was almost bigger than him. "And they can just come back for something if they need it."

"I know, I know," he put his hands up in a placating gesture. "But you know I don't like to take any risks!"

As she stood back up, the blond viking gave him a flat look that said everything she didn't say out loud, regarding her husband's record for avoiding unnecessary risks.

"Winds have shifted," Everyone's attention was drawn to Valka, as she came striding up the path with her own, smaller pack of gear. "The day's going to be wasted if we don't head out soon."

"Say goodbye to your parents, kids," Stoick hoisted his own pack, which seemed to have more weapons than camping gear. "We'll see them in three days."

"Be careful out there you two," Hiccup kneeled down to hug both of his kids. "Don't go looking for trouble out in the woods."

"Don't worry dad," Zephyr answered with all the confidence of a child with wanderlust. "There's nothing out there that's ready for us!"

"Well, just promise me you won't come back with any new scares," Hiccup kept his hands on their shoulders.

"At least not very big ones," Astrid supplied helpfully.

Her husband shot her a half-hearted glare, as Stoick chuckled in agreement. "Aye, trust me son, we'll bring em back in one piece; and tougher vikings to boot.

"Yah, it's not like your father is really going to make them bang their heads on rocks," Astrid's gaze turned to her father-in-law; and it suddenly turned into something hard and sharp, with the curl of her lip less friendly and more predatory. "Right?"

The mighty Stoick the Vast most certainly did not gulp under his beard. "Well, come along kids. Like your gran said, times a wasting!"

"You know what, I think I'll go with you," Hiccup said. "Just to be sure."

"Hiccup," Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Come on luv," his mother patted him on the shoulder. "We'll be alright."

"Your parents want some quality time with their grandkids," his wife looked at him pointedly. "And I thought we were looking forward to some quality time of our own."

"Yah, um, about that," Valka surprised everyone by putting in. "Did any of you see the ship that came into the harbor just a few minutes ago?"

Everyone looked up at her; the kids with excitement, the adults with worry. "Trouble," Stoick asked, his stance shifting as he stood a little taller.

"Um, no, not for the village," Valka nodded to two people strolling up the hill toward them. "But you two might not have that much time to yourselves tonight."

A woman and her child were walking toward them. The mother was a generously curved woman, with a tangle of blonde hair that she seemed to be making no effort to control. She was a little short for the average person, even with the wild tangle of blond hair flowing behind her, meaning she was dwarfed by many viking women. But she carried herself with the confidence of a woman twice her size; flashing a cocky grin when she noticed the Haddocks spotting her from uphill. The girl at her side raced forward when she spotted them. Her hair was just as big and wild as her mother's, but its color was the rich reddish brown of her father.

"BAELA!" Zephyr and Nuffink both took off toward her, with Nuffink nearly tipping over again as he went down the stairs.

"Well, look what the nadder dragged in," Astrid crossed her arms as Stoick and Valka followed after them to greet their other grandchild. Hiccup glanced at her as he went after them. "I-she didn't send me any word that she was going to drop by," he said almost defensively.

"Well," Astrid said with a sigh. "Let's find out what she wants."

Camicazi, heir to the Bog Burglars and thieving terror of the Archipelago, looked as hale and healthy as ever as she watched the kids stumbling over themselves to hug each other. Her sly grin turned into a bit more genuine joy when the grandparents caught up. Little Baela leapt right into Stoick's arms, and he didn't hesitate to throw her in the air as high as he could. And grandpa could still throw like the best of them.

"HEY, um, hey Cami," Hiccup resisted the urge to nag his father as Baela landed back into his arms, and he passed her to her grandmother. "It's a, um, nice surprise to see you."

"Hello Hiccup," Cami stepped forward and drew him into a tight hug, letting her tough Bog Burglar facade crack as she held onto him for longer than you normally would an old friend. "I've been missing you, almost as much as Baela has."

"You, you too," Hiccup was taken a little aback by her open affection. He managed to resist the urge to glance at his wife as he hugged her back.

For her part, Astrid managed to keep her face neutral as she watched them. She'd always known about her husband's special relationship with his old friend, who had an annoying habit of popping in and out of his life. And she suspiciously did it more frequently as they both grew into young adulthood. When their own relationship turned more serious, Hiccup had come clean about exactly how far things had gone. Astrid hadn't been surprised at all that the two had taken a physical turn. What had surprised her, was what the end goal of this seduction had been for Camicazi. Her husband's first child.

"But what's with all the get up?" Cami gestured to the packs of the kids and grandparents. "Are you about to evacuate the village? Again?"

"We're taking the kids out camping in the woods for the weekend," Valka said as she put Baela back down. "A little bonding time, while these two get to rest for a few days."

"Are you going troll hunting again," Baela asked her younger siblings?

"You bet," Zephyr was bouncing in place with excitement. "Wingnut said she saw one deep in a grove of Arcadia Oaks."

"We're gonna build a trap for it and everything," Nuffink pulled out a crude sketch of snare traps and pitfalls. "Are you coming too?"

Hiccup put up his hands at the barrage of kids pleading that followed. "I don't know if that's the best idea-"

"Actually," Cami surprised him by butting in a little forcefully. "I kind of think that'd be a great idea; the kids don't get to spend enough time together. That is," she nodded at Stoick and Valka. "If you two don't mind."

"Of course not," Stoick reached down to clap a meaty hand proudly on Baela's shoulder. "We'll take her out a little kid, and bring her back a proper viking!"

"She isn't even packed," Hiccup protested.

"Well the other two have more than enough for her to share," his father gestured to the overstuffed packs he had prepared. "Good thinking son."

"I can't let Zephyr and Nuffink take on trolls alone!" Baela said with deadly seriousness, as she turned to her father's wife. "Vikings always stick together, that's what you told me aunt Astrid!"

Astrid couldn't help but smile at that. Another woman might have resented the little girl for who she was, but Astrid had never had the heart too. Baela could hardly be blamed for her own conception, and a good viking didn't let something like feelings cloud her judgment.

Besides, the girl was just too precious.

"I'm sure it would be fine dear," Astrid assured Hiccup, earning herself a beaming smile from the girl

"Besides which," Cami cut in again. "It would give us adults time to talk."

The way she said the word made it loaded with meaning.

In an awkward silence that none of the kids noticed, Hiccup turned to glance at his wife. Astrid's carefully neutral expression was broken by an openly exasperated sigh. But with a look at the other woman, she simply shrugged.

"W-well if you're sure-" Hiccup conceded.

With a roaring laugh, Stoick hoisted three cheering children onto his shoulders. "Onward young vikings! Adventure awaits!"

As the former chief took off down the path with his laughing grandchildren, his wife turned toward the other three. "Don't worry about the kids," Valka patted Hiccup on the shoulder. "Your father will make sure nothing will happen to them. And I'll make sure he doesn't, well, get too viking about it." She shot a glance at the smirking Bog Burglar who had dropped in on them, and gave her son another reassuring pat. "I have a feeling you're going to have your hands full tonight!"

---

"So," Astrid absently drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair, glancing at the woman across from her. "How's the burglary business going?"

"Not bad," Camicazi took her question at face value. "It's been a little slow recently, we're running out of territory we haven't hit in awhile." Her lip curved in a wry grin. "Some of the ladies are starting to say that Berk would be the best place to raid; between the wars with the dragon hunters ending, and our holding back for so long, they say you're all getting fat and rich and ripe for the buglaring. But I'm talking them down, for now."

She was probably needling the chieftess on purpose; expecting an indignant objection followed by vain bragging. Instead, the snort of amusement Astrid made sounded relaxed and genuine; perfectly conveying just what she thought about the Bog tribes chances in such a fight.

The silence stretched on for a long moment, as they both waited for Hiccup to come back with cups of mead.

Astrid would never be any man's housewife; but as long as she was married to the chief, she would try to show him the proper respect when it was appropriate. When people came to their house to speak with her husband, be they from near or far, she would usually serve the drinks that custom required. But in this case, Hiccup had almost tripped over himself in his haste to get the refreshments this time. Astrid suspected he feared what she might do, if asked to serve his old lover.

For her part, she had come to terms with her husband's past. And she knew when she married him, that past might come back to rear her blonde tumbleweed of a head from time to time. She could live with that.

But she didn't have to be happy about it.

After what seemed like an age, Hiccup returned with three large cups from the good set, and a glass bottle. "Sorry if we don't have much prepared," Hiccup said, as he poured for Cami first. Guests were always served first, so it was a safe thing to do. "I hope your sail over here wasn't too hard, it's supposed to be the calm part of the year."

Instead of the normal honey mead, he had grabbed a bottle of sweet red southern wine, the only one in the house, and maybe the whole village.

"It was nice," Cami accepted the drink with a warm smile. "Baela did a lot better sailing than our last trip; she's going to be a regular sea pirate soon."

"Did-did you come because she wanted to visit?" Hiccup sounded both hopeful and guilty at the thought his daughter had been missing him.

"No," Cami put her cup down, the smile falling from her face. "I had actually been planning to come here by myself; but she asked to come, and I just couldn't say no."

"It must be something important, to bring you all the way out here," Astrid was starting to get annoyed by them beating around the bush.

"Yah," Cami glanced from her to Hiccup and back again. "Maybe this is something we might want some privacy for."

"I," Hiccup glanced at Astrid. His wife sighed, and was about to get up, before he squared his shoulders. "I don't have any secrets from Astrid," he said; firm, but as polite as he could be.

Cami looked back and forth between them, and almost seemed like she would object. But her answer was, "I guess she'll just hear it from you later anyway." She looked away, and crossed her arms over her chest, almost defensively. "I've decided to have another daughter."

The pause that followed took the awkwardness of the situation, and raised it to the roof. "You," Hiccup gulped, his mouth suddenly dry. "You what?"

Cami rubbed her hands along her arms, still not making eye contact. "It's something I've been putting a lot of thought into," she insisted. "I'm not being impulsive about this. A lot of burglars have more than one daughter; but chiefs especially. My mom was unusual for only having one kid; and when I was growing up, I could always tell when the village was giving her grief for it. Having two daughters would guarantee the succession." She looked up at Hiccup. "And I think . . . I think Baela gets lonely. She never seems as happy as when she's visiting Zephyr and Nuffink."

This might have been the last thing the two vikings expected from her.

The Haddock couple exchanged openly astounded glances. Hiccup had been cornered by wild dragons in the dark and looked less surprised than he did now. His wife was nearly as shocked; but he could almost see her go over the words in her mind, and a dark cloud was threatening to form behind them.

"Cami," he managed to get out before this could take an uglier turn. "I don't think you know what your ask-"

"No," Camicazi raised her hands, cutting off that thought before it had a chance to plant itself. "I-I'm not asking you to be the father." She was able to look him straight in the eye. "Even if I wanted to; that is not the bog burglar way. Really, I shouldn't even be telling you, let alone bringing Baela around so much." Her expression was soft, but her words were firm. Almost like she was reminding herself. "But you, well you and I . . . I just felt like it would be wrong not to tell you."

"Are you," Hiccup had to noticeably gather himself. "Are you sure you've thought this through?"

"Yes," Camicazi. "I know it seems really sudden to you, but I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm not getting any younger; and I want one more child, before I settle down."

Hiccup was plainly going through a conflicting series of emotions. His jaw worked a bit, as he tried to figure out what he might say. "I-thank you, for telling me this Cami," his tone was carefully neutral. "It's not easy, but, well; at the end of the day, you have to do what's right for you. And your duty to your own tribe."

Astrid had to resist the urge to tap her foot; and fight down a strong instinct to get up and leave the room. This was such a personal moment between the two of them, and she couldn't help but feel a little guilty for listening in. Maybe she shouldn't have stayed to hear it.

Cami didn't exactly relax, but you could almost see a bit of tension go out of her.

"And I also want you to know," Cami leaned toward the red haired viking. It seemed for a moment as if she were going to reach out and take his hand, but thought better of it. "This isn't going to change anything between us. Baela is still going to be coming by to see her siblings, and her dad. There's just going to be a new member of the family tagging along."

Hiccup gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yah, yah it'll be fine. We never do things the normal way, but we always make it through together."

There was a quiet that settled over the room after that. There were so many things that could be said between the three adults

"Well, I suppose you'll want to stay the night then," as much as he said there was no problem, Hiccup was doing his best to act like this was any other visit.

"If-you know, if it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"I can get a guest bed made up," Astrid shrugged.

"I'll do it," Hiccup got to his feet first. "We should have enough clean bedding laying around, the kids are past the spit up age."

"I don't mind doing it babe," his wife insisted. "If you need to take a moment-"

"I, I'm usually better off doing something," Hiccup countered. "I'll be back down in a bit."

He left the two women there, listening to the sound of his steps going up the stairs. Cami fidgeted, looking after him for a long moment. Astrid felt uncomfortable sitting there, but also felt it would be rude to get up and leave. She didn't look at the other woman, but made sure not to be looking too obviously away from her.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told him," Cami finally said. "It might have been more of a mercy."

"I think he would have found out eventually," Astrid tried halfheartedly to make a joke. "It's not as if Baela is good at keeping secrets."

"Baela," the burglar ran a hand over her face. "She's asked me a few times why Hiccup and me couldn't give her a little sister. She's going to be so happy when the time comes, but I don't know how I'm gonna tell her . . . she just takes it for granted that Hiccup's the only dad in her life!"

Astrid didn't really know what to say to that, but winced a little at the thought. It wasn't as if the new man Cami chose to knock her up would ever be a part of her life, but there was no way they were ever going to hide the fact from her. She was a sharp kid, and her own dad wasn't a good liar.

"So," Astrid had to ask out of a morbid curiosity. "Have you already . . . you know?"

"No, oh gods no," Cami sighed. "It, it's really not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. Most of the women of my tribe will have two or more different sires in their life. I just needed to get it off of my chest to Hiccup." She didn't sound very convincing.

"Where were you even planning to go?" The awkward pause made Astrid narrow her eyes in suspicion. "You weren't planning on finding another man from Berk?"

"Well," Cami shrugged guiltily. "It's safer to do it somewhere familiar."

"You weren't planning to bring some guy back here were you?" the question came out a little more sharply than Astrid meant it.

"You know what," Cami started to get up from her seat. "Maybe I should just head out for now-"

"Wait," Astrid stopped her. "Wait, I didn't mean to run you off. The whole thing; look I know to your tribe it's normal, but it just seems like you're not thinking this through. How are you even going to find a guy?"

"Drinking at the Mead Hall, how else," the burglar shrugged. "Any good prospects I should check out?"

"Um," Astrid couldn't help but find the whole question bizarre. What kind of qualities did a man need to be a baby daddy? "Hiccup" was the first thing she wanted to say, but that wasn't exactly helpful. "I guess any guy's as good as the next. But if you want a smart kid, maybe not the Jorgensons. Or the Thorstons

"Great, thanks," Cami said without much enthusiasm, letting out a long sigh. "I should have brought one of the girls!"

"What?" Astrid wasn't sure she heard right.

"Oh it's just, sometimes a bog woman will bring a friend along, when she goes out . . . looking," Cami admitted. "It's supposed to be for safety, but often it's more about having another woman to get advice from."

"Are you sure it wouldn't be better to wait then," Astrid pushed a little. Maybe it wasn't her business, but the other woman kept intruding on her life. "Maybe come back without your daughter."

Cami sighed. "Look, I just need to do this before I lose my nerve. It's like ripping off a bandage."

She really is going to do this, Astrid thought. The bog burglars really are crazy.

"Well," Cami started making her way to the door. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to be a coward, and sneak off before Hiccup can come back and talk me out of it. Tell him I'll be back later. Probably."

"Here," Astrid stood up too. "Why don't I come with you?"

"You? I-I mean you want to?" Camicazi tried to backtrack her surprise. "Really, it's not something to worry yourself about."

"It's a little late to stop me worrying." the warrior maid said. "But if another woman might make it all go a bit smoother, I guess consider this a peace offering." She shrugged. "It's past time the two of us got used to each other anyway. For the kids if for no other reason."

"Oh, um, thanks, Astrid." If the other woman weren't a stoic bog burglar, she might have looked genuinely touched. "That's, that's very big of you."

"Thanks, now let's get going before my common sense takes over." Astrid turned to yell toward the stairs. "HICCUP!"

"YAH," came her husband's distracted reply.

"CAMI AND I ARE GOING UP TO THE MEAD HALL!" Just saying it felt weird! "WE'LL BE BACK LATER."

"OKAY, SEE YOU THEN."

For a moment Astrid thought maybe her husband hadn't actually grasped what she was saying; but then just as her hand was on the door latch, he came stumbling down the stairs. "YOU'RE WHAT!"

"We're going to the mead hall," Astrid replied evenly, hoping her bluffing face was intact. "To have a drink."

"Yah, I gathered that," Hiccup looked back and forth between the two women. "But, I mean, you're going together?"

"Sure," Cami replied with an innocent smile. "Just two old girlfriends, catching up like old times. What could be weird about that?"

"Yah, not weird at all," her former lover almost scowled at her.

"We need to bury the hatchet Hiccup," Astrid shrugged. "This is what burying the hatchet looks like."

"Well, that's good, I guess," the canny chief couldn't get over the instinctive feeling that the two of them going out together was dangerous. But he also couldn't think of a graceful way to stop it. "I just better not get called up to the Hall to break up a fight later."

"Babe, we're not kids anymore," Astrid scolded him. "We're not gonna start any trouble."

"Yah, babe," Cami could sense her old friend's discomfort; and she did her best to increase it by leaning closer to Astrid and resting a hand on her shoulder. "Your wife and your ex are just going to talk about you behind your back for a few hours. What could go wrong?"

"Terrific," the chief said sardonically, even as Astrid resisted the urge to scowl at her new girlfriend. "Well, just don't drink too much while you're out."

"Don't worry," his wife reassured him. "We'll only have one or two drinks."

---

The hall was as busy as it ever was on a Friday night. A crowd of burly vikings, native berkians and visiting sailors, moved between the heavy wooden tables; their loud din of gruff talk and occasional roars of laughter drowning out the crackle of the great fire blazing at the center.

The two women were lucky enough to find a small open table near the center of the room. A young girl on duty brought them their cups, which helped to fill the awkward silence for a short time.

"So," Astrid finally said, fiddling with her heavy mug, watching the mead slosh around in it to avoid eye contact. "How exactly does a Bog Burglar usually go about finding a man to, um, be a father for her?"

"Well," Cami took a quick sip of her own cup. She had kind of missed Berk mead. "The easiest way is just to do what we're doing, and scope out the prospects." She glanced dubiously around the room. "I'll probably need your help with that."

"What do Bog Burglars look for in a man?"

"Well, strength mostly," Camicazi always felt a little uncomfortable explaining these things to outsiders. Maybe because they never quite sat right with her. "The older women are always going on about how you should bed men that will give you the strongest children, whether they're the most handsome or not. Of course, whenever they talk about their own conquests, it never seems like they followed their own advice." She took another swig of mead. "Personally, I would like a man with a bit of brains to father my daughter. That's where my strength always lay."

"Well, I hope you didn't let Hiccup set the standard for your expectations of Berkian men in that department," Astrid was only half joking.

"Actually, I probably shouldn't pick a man from Berk," Cami glanced at a table of men with the clothes and coloring of southerners. "A visiting sailor might be better; you're not supposed to bed a man you have a chance of ever seeing again."

Astrid couldn't help herself. "Like an old friend?" she asked sardonically.

Cami looked like she might say something, but just nodded. "I did a lot of dumb things when I was young. Just ask my mom all about it."

"Did, maybe I shouldn't ask but, did your mother ever talk about how she met your father?" Astrid tried to ask tactfully.

"A few times," Cami used one finger to lazily spin her mug around on the table. "But she barely knew him. Mom does everything the "Proper Bog Burglar Way."

"Then how did they meet?" Astrid couldn't stop her curiosity.

"Well, when she was a young chief, mom led her first big raid," Cami explained with pride. "A group of pirate crews had set up a base a little too close to Bog territory. Mom stormed the place in a surprise attack, and crushed them in an afternoon!"

"And then she had a kid with one?" Astrid was surprised.

"No, not with a pirate. They had been taking captives from the ships they raided; so mom and her women freed a whole dungeon of prisoners."

Cami leaned back in her chair, smiling fondly at a memory she herself didn't have. "Apparently there was a particular prisoner that caught her eye; a giant of a viking with a roguish golden beard and hands big enough to crush a man's skull." Cami grinned slyly. "I think my mother has a thing for men with big hands. She kind of needs that." The Bog acted at palming her own breasts; which were large by most standards, but dwarfed by her mother's legendary chest.

"So anyway; after claiming the island as Bog territory, they eventually ransomed all the prisoners back to their own tribes. But mom offered the giant viking a chance to earn his freedom another way. I think some of the other women my moms age gave other prisoners the same chance, since there were some girls born just weeks off from when I was. But you're not really supposed to ask a Bog woman about her siring."

Astrid was having trouble understanding the benefits of the Bog Burglar way. "Did you ever even get to meet your father?"

"No. Mom wouldn't tell me where he was from, or even his name. She tries not to ever think about him." Cami smiled in a way that wasn't quite happy. "But he must have been a real looker, to catch the dutiful Big Boobied Bertha's eye when she was supposed to be leading a raid. And I know I got my hair from him." She ran a hand through her golden locks. "Wish I'd gotten the size too!"

Astrid looked down at her own cup, leaving the other woman with her thoughts for a moment. She'd thought about how difficult life as a Bog Burglar must be before. It had always seemed like a hard life, even by viking standards. But to not be able to know who your own father was!? For the proud viking, who lived for her tribe and for her family, it was almost unthinkable.

Never really thought about how fortunate Baela is, Astrid mused. She won't have to ever live with a hole in her life like that. She always has Hiccup, no matter what! Maybe the Bog burglars needed a few more mothers like Camicazi.

"So," Astrid finally said after a while. "Do you have any ideas for how to start?"

Cami spun her own cup on the table. She was not nervous, of course; a Bog Burglar was never nervous. But she was actually grateful the other woman was there to, um, bounce ideas off of. "I gotta admit, you might have a bit more experience in this than I do." She half smiled. "You managed to lure a guy in for the rest of his life."

"Well, getting Hiccup to commit wasn't exactly something I planned out doing," Astrid shrugged. This seemed like it should have been a touchy subject to talk to her husband's ex-lover about. But, bizarrely, it seemed to be going fine. "Anyway, it was getting him to stay still for more than an hour at a time, that was always the hardest part."

"Which one of you made the first move, if you don't mind me asking," Cami sounded genuinely curious. "And I mean, you know, sexually."

Well, she told me a personal story. Guess I owe her one. "It was, well it was me," the proud warrior made a good effort to not let herself get sheepish about a simple fact of her relationship. "We made an effort to wait until marriage, but as our engagement went on we just spent more and more time together, fighting pirates and dragon hunters and, well," she shrugged. "We had a date night alone for the first time in weeks, and I guess I just decided Hiccup would look really great without that sweaty leather armor he'd been wearing for weeks."

"Aaaah," Cami sighed with a smile. "Hiccup in his leathers, and that tight ass of his; no woman could resist."

Astrid almost smiled at that. She couldn't really disagree. "We didn't go quite all the way that night. We just, um, took turns with our hands. And mouths. But we said we would save the final step for our wedding night." She sighed, running a hand over her red face. "We made it another week. In the end, I kind of preferred it that way; we were both totally comfortable our first time as husband and wife."

"You know, that's actually kind of sweet," Cami smiled. "It's hard to imagine a relationship like that; one with so much . . . proximity." Smiling faintly, she took another drink. "Thanks for humoring me; I was half expecting a slap in the face for asking."

"Like I told Hiccup, we're both adults," Astrid insisted. "We can spend five minutes together without starting an argument."

---

Swallowing the last drop, Astrid slammed her empty mug down, causing the cup already there to rattle as the table shook. "Hooligan training produces better warriors," she declared with confidence. "You learn the skills that can stand up to an army of dragons, and you'll be ready for any human opponent!"

"Except there's a few humans who are smarter than the average dragon," Camicazi countered. "Maybe not so much here on Berk, but quite a few out in Bog country. And brains will beat brawn, everytime! Just ask your husband."

"Yah, I've had a lot of experience with brilliant plans. And the plans tend to last right up until you get the first punch in the face." Astrid threw back another swig of mead. "And Hiccup's not that much of a slouch in the strength department either, whatever people say. You know he once knocked a couple of Snotlout's teeth out!"

Cami had just raised her mug to her lips, only to spill half on the table guffawing into it. "What brought that on?"

"Oh, he was asking for it. I mean literally, he was trying to get Hiccup to punch him. Long story, but it involved a prank by the twins."

"But really, you should bring Baela up to Berk more often," Astrid pressed. "I'm going to be taking over the kids training this summer, now that Zephyr's old enough for it. You put Baela in that class; I'll put an ax in her hand and make her the fiercest Burglar in the Archipelago!"

"And teach her all your obedient little housewife skills as well?" Cami goaded. "Teach her to cook and weave and get an unsatisfying railing from her husband every night!"

"Yah," Astrid shot back. "And a few other girly habits. Like working for a living!"

"We're the Bog Burglars," Cami insisted, brushing off the comment. "We don't do girly!"

---

"How long have you been wearing your hair like that?" Cami asked kind of out of nowhere, as Astrid was taking another swig of mead.

"Like this?" the hooligan reached back and casually brush her golden locks out of her eyes. It was still pulled back in her usual short braid, but she was letting the loose bangs on either side grow a little longer than usual. "Oh, I guess since the last midwinter festival. I thought the longer hair went with the dress I wore to that."

"It looks nice," the burglar sounded sincere. "It always amazes me how you can keep it so straight," she gestured to her own wild, unkempt mane of dirty blond hair. "It's never a talent I learned, obviously."

"Well, you're not as bad as a lot of viking women I know," Astrid shrugged. "At least your hair is clean."

"My mom used to get on me about my hair all the time," with a grin, Cami launched into a fair imitation of her mother's thicker west sea drawl. "Girl, people are going to think yer a wild beast with that bramble on yer head. What kind of impression do ya give if that's the first thing people notice about yah!"

Assessing the other woman's appearance, Astrid couldn't stop her eyes from being drawn to the bog woman's ample chest; which she had displayed with a lower neckline than usual, to better aid her mission. "Oh, I don't think that's the first thing people notice!"

Cami got her meaning instantly, almost choking on her mead as she broke out into a hearty laugh. "Well, that fits," she got out after a minute.

"What fits," the hooligan gazed at her suspiciously?

"Thor knows Hiccup is a huge breast guy," Cami leaned back in her chair, throwing back her shoulders to better display the assets in question. "I just guess it fits that his wife is one too!"

Astrid scowled, but also felt just a little bit of heat across her cheeks. It wasn't like she ever had thoughts in that direction, a girl just noticed those kinds of things. No other reason. "Very funny," she replied.

"You're quite the eye catcher yourself there Hofferson," Cami's grin was almost a leer, as she frankly appraised the other woman's curves. "Bet your kids never went hungry."

Astrid felt a bit of heat on her cheeks, and had to fight back the irrational urge to cover her chest. She knew that Bog Burglars often had affairs with other women, even one's outside of their tribe. But Cami was just pretending to admire her to be annoying. Probably.

"They must have really sprouted, after your pregnancy," the other woman continued.

The Hooligan turned a glare at her. The tone she said that with, really seemed to be implying that before she had kids . . . "You want to back those words up bog drinker?"

"No, no." Cami put up her hands in a placating gesture. "Forget I said anything. Let's not ruin our new friendship by getting competitive."

---

Camicazi threw her head back and took a long swig of her mead; even though her other arm was already propped up on its elbow on the table, clenching Astrids hand in a strong grip.

"Any time now," the other said impatiently, flexing her hand in preparation.

Cami slammed her cup down with a grin. "GO!"

But the hooligan was ready for her, and even as she leaned into her arm the other's grip was as steady as a rock.

Cami had to admit privately (but never out loud) that Astrid was stronger than her. But that was the Hooligan way. Any good Bog could tell you that there was more than one way to win.

Leaning forward, Cami subtly shifted her grip, and instead of trying to push Astrid's hand down she began to pull it toward herself. Astrid grunted, a look of frustration sliding across her face and then being forced back down. But it didn't stop the back of her hand from slowly falling toward the table. Sure, even this method was killing Cami's arm, but it was well worth it to-

Then, with well practiced ease, Astrid shifted her own grip in the same way, and before the Bog Burglar had time to react her already sore hand was pulled down with a thud onto the table.

"Yes," Astrid threw her hands in the air, acting like her younger teen self. "In your face Bog drinker!"

Cami rubbed her sore arm, the bruise to her ego balanced by a bit more respect for the other girl. "Pretty sly move there Hofferson."

"Well, you spend enough time around Hiccup, and you start to pick up these things," she shrugged, taking yet another sip of her mead. "Maybe you need to brush up a bit more; you'll ruin the Bog Burglar name."

As payback for that, Camicazi immediately began planning as to how she would steal the other woman's headband, right off of her head, without her noticing. "Don't start getting a big head Hoolig-"

"Ahem," both women turned to see Gobber the Belch standing by their table, eyeing them with a little bit of trepidation. "I just wanted to tell you two ladies, that the hall is about to close down for the night. Time to pack it up and go home."

"What!?" Astrid fought to concentrate through the haze of alcohol. "Since when do you get hall working duty?"

"As a matter of fact, I didn't," the older viking explained. "I was just about to head home myself; when the fine people in the kitchens asked me if I would tell you two they were closing." He glanced meaningfully down at the pile of emptied cups on the table. "They seemed to be a little frightened to do it themselves."

"How can they be closing already?" Cami protested. "We only just got here and the place is . . . packed . . . " it was only then that the two women looked around, and saw that the cavernous hall was nearly empty; except for a few drunks sleeping in their seats, and two women wiping down the tables. "Um, what, what time is it?"

"Almost midnight," Gobber shook his head. "I think you two have had more than enough drinks for one evening. Time to pack it in and make for your beds. If you can make it that far"

"Yah," Astrid slumped back in her seat, a little surprised at herself. Had they really been drinking all night! "Thanks Gobber, we'll be right out."

Camicazi looked glumly at one of her empty cups, casually flicking it so it rolled across the table. "Well, I guess tonight is a wash. I'll probably just try again tomorrow, but you don't have to come out with me again."

Astrid sighed, running a hand across her face. "This was a damn waste of time," she'd been thinking that all night.

Cami raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, thanks for the support miss sunshine."

"Why are we even doing this," Astrid had come to a conclusion she couldn't get away from. "We both know who the best cock for this job is, and we're not going to find him here drinking!"

Cami only just stopped herself from gasping, at what the other woman was obviously implying. "You, you don't mean, you're not saying . . . how much did you have to drink tonight?"

"Come on," Astrid lurched to her feet, and punched the other woman on the shoulder, not exactly gently. "Bet you Hiccup will still be up!"

Cami watched her old rival start to shuffle unsteadily to the door for a brief stunned moment. Then she jumped out of her seat and tripped after her. "I, I don't know what to," she took a breath to collect herself. "Thank you, I guess, that should be the first thing I say!"

Astrid gave her the side eye, but there wasn't really any menace in it. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else!" she insisted. "Or for any other reason. And I'm doing it as much for him as for you."

"Yes, yes of course," Cami thought it was probably safest to keep her mouth shut at this point. But she'd never been good at that. "I owe you one. I mean really, if there's anything I can do to repay you." She made it sound like she was just borrowing something; but what do you say to someone giving you permission to sleep with their husband?

Astrid was still staring at her out of the corner of her eye. This blonde bog drinker with her big tits and even bigger mouth. Who'd been in her husband's life long before she had. More than once she'd wondered what it had looked like when the two of them made love together; and now the image of their grownup selves going at it invaded her mind.

The thought had never been as upsetting as it should have been; and now it put a warmth in Astrid's middle that she tried not to notice. "Just give Baela that sister you promised hER-"

Coming down the steps to the great hall, and not watching her feet, Astrid stepped onto an uneven stone and lurched forward. She would have gone rolling to the bottom, but the bog burglar caught her. Somehow this didn't result in them both falling down the stairs.

"Th-thanks," Astrid almost hiccuped, as she found her feet again.

"Don't mention it," Cami slung the other woman's arm over her shoulders, keeping a hold of her as they reached the bottom.

"I won't; and I don't need your help."

'Oh, I think you do," whatever Astrid said, they were both leaning on each other for support now, as they stumbled along. "Can't do any baby making if your husband has to see to your rolled ankle all night."

The proud viking gave her a fierce scowl, but there was humor in her eyes. "Boggy Bitch!"

Camicazi grinned in reply. "Hairbrained Hooligan!"

"She-pirate!"

"Housewife!"

"Big-boobed burglar!"

"Fatass Hofferson!"

"Homewrecker!"

"Cuckquean!"

It was a good thing the chief's house was one of the closest to the mead hall, or two mead-addled warrior women might not have made it.

---

Hiccup sat hunched over his work bench, carefully running the thick threads through the two pieces of leather.

Baela would be starting her thie'fs training in earnest soon, and she needed a proper suit of protective armor. Hiccup could remember very well the cuts and bruises that Camicazi sometimes had back when they were kids, as she learned the hard way how to fight, steal, and survive. Sometimes he thought thief training must have been more dangerous than dragon training.

The Bog Burglars had their own leatherworking of course, and like all their crafts they took great pride in it. It was lousy, in Hiccup's opinion. At least as far as offering protection went. The Bog's were another the-lesson-works-best-if-you-get-a-scare-from-it tribe. His daughter was going to have more protection than that!

Besides, it was a good distraction for him. Helped not to worry about what kind of trouble his wife and former lover were getting up to together. Or worse, what Cami had told him she was going to do!

Hiccup scowled, and shook his head to banish those thoughts. What he and Cami had, that was in the past. She had to live her own life, in the way her own people did. He couldn't expect her to do otherwise; she didn't owe him anything.

Still, somewhere on the back of his mind, it just kind of hurt. The thought of her, sleeping with another man. Being impregnated by a stranger. Raising another daughter, whose life he wouldn't be any part of. It just felt wrong.

This is probably how Astrid felt when you knocked Cami up, a critical voice chided him. Now you know what she's dealt with!

Speaking of Astrid. Hiccup glanced at the clock on the wall. She had been out awhile. Hiccup had been nursing a suspicion about the real reason Cami wanted to go to the mead hall, where all the drunk bachelors would be . . . but shouldn't Astrid have come home? What else could she be doing?

Shaking a bad feeling out of his head, Hiccup tried to get back to the leather body armor he was making. Pockets, it needs more interior pockets. Can't have enou-

He was snapped out of his line of thought, by a hard and eager pounding at the door. With a sigh, he got to his feet, his chair scraping the wood floor. He'd been half expecting this. It was friday night; vikings would be out drinking late, and drinking hard. They'd find some reason to argue, and those that didn't settle it with their fists might decide that they needed the chief to rule on something. Just a week ago, after they had just gotten the kids asleep, he'd been forced to leave a ready and waiting Astrid in their bed because Bucket and Mulch wanted to know who had the better lamprey pie recipe.

They'd both lost, and he'd spent most of the next day in bed with a queasy stomach.

"Yah yah, I heard you," Hiccup called as the knocking kept up. "This better not be another yak dispute!" The chief stopped short when he opened the door, and saw who had been kicking it.

Astrid and Camicazi stood there, leaning heavily on each other and still looking ready to fall over. "HELLO!" Astrid pretended to yell as she grinned from ear to ear. "Is this the chief's house? We were just having an argument over who owns the uglier sheep, and we just had to wake him and his lovely wife up and tell them all about it!

"It just can't wait," Cami yelled with equal enthusiasm, as they both laughed like they were teenagers again. Though they had never laughed together when they were.

"Oh, I don't want to know what you two would have been arguing about," but Hiccup smiled at the sight of them. They looked unsteady and disheveled; but didn't have any of the bruises or black eyes he might have expected. Half of Astrid's face was covered by her hair, looser now that Cami was wearing her headband. He wondered if his wife had even noticed her snatching it. "I can see you enjoyed your "one or two" drinks!"

"Yah, you Hooligans drink the weak stuff," Cami grinned as they stumbled through the doorway. "Had to make it four or five to even notice!"

"Yah, this bogger tried to outdo me," Astrid patted her on the shoulder. They seemed so comfortable with each other all of a sudden. "She fell behind about halfway."

"Yah, that's why I didn't almost faceplant on the way here," Cami retorted, earning her a halfhearted punch to the shoulder.

"So, I take it you both burying the hatchet was a success?" Hiccup asked carefully. He still couldn't help but have a vague feeling of unease about this.

Cami broke into a laugh that was almost a giggle, and leaned over to throw an arm around him. "Hi-Hiccup, did you know your wife is the best!"

"Um yah," he looked back and forth between the two women, both grinning like loons. "Trust me, I know that very well."

"And you'd better never forget it," Astrid lurched into him from the other side. "Not after everything I'm putting up with for you." And she reached up and pulled him down into a hard kiss.

Hiccup's eyes widened slightly, but his lips moved with the instinct of long practice to match hers. He would have been perfectly relaxed, were it not for his former Bog lover openly grinning on his other shoulder.

Finally Astrid stepped back from him, only to grab his arms as she tottered uneasily. "And I am doing it for you," she said to her bemused husband. "For you, and for Baela, and Zephyr and Nuffink, and even for that Boggy bitch who dragged me home," she pointed a thumb at Cami.

"What, what are yo-" But before Hiccup could finish, the Bog chieftess slinked an arm around the back of his head, and captured his mouth with her own.

The green eyed viking was so shocked, he very nearly sent them all tottering backward, and this time it was up to his wife to keep him steady. If Astrid's kiss had surprised him, the open passion Cami kissed him with was a shock; like a starving woman going after a piece of meat.

Or like a woman reuniting with her long lost lover.

They were both breathing hard by the time they parted. Cami kept her arms wrapped around him, nuzzling her cheek into the crook of his neck. "Oh Hiccup," she said with a gentleness that she might not have shown to anyone in her life except him and Baela. "Oh, I've missed this!"

"Wha-wh-wha-what" Hiccup looked at his wife, whom he expected to break out an ax at any moment. "I-I think someone just had a little too much mead tonight," he had to sweep this under the rug as soon as possible. "I think it's time we all headed off to bed."

There was a long, pregnant silence, as he looked back and forth between the two women. And then the last thing he expected happened.

They both burst out into laughter.

"Definitely, too much mead," hiccup mumbled bemusedly, as he held a chuckling blond in each arm.

"M-Maybe," Camicazi got out. "But I think I'm still sober enough to get the job done tonight!"

The red head raised an eyebrow. "Wha-"

"We came to an agreement tonight, babe," Astrid said, reaching to lock the fingers of one hand into his. "Cami's going to get another daughter, and we're going to keep it all in the family. Good old viking practicality."

Without further ado, the bog burglar took a firm hold of hiccup's arm,and began pulling him toward the staircase. And it was then that what they were saying finally clicked in the viking chiefs mind.

"This-th-th-is is crazy," hiccup stammered out, looking back and forth between the two. "This is just plain crazy."

"The only way Bog Burglars do anything," Cami grinned over her shoulder at him, almost tripping over a step as a result. And as much as Hiccup's mind seemed to have shut down, his feet were showing no hesitation to follow her up to the bedroom. It probably helped that his wife was coming up just behind him, practically pushing him up the stairs. She seemed almost as impatient as the Burglar.

Before hiccup knew it, they had arrived at the bed. And Cami wasted no time pushing him down onto it. Another half formed protest died on the Hooligan chiefs lips, when her vest hit the floor, and she reached down to pull her shirt up and over her head. Her generous bosom strained against the simple bindings of her chest, and it didn't take long for that to join the rest of her clothes on the floor.

Astrid sidled up around her, and leaned against the wall; her arms crossed and a wry smirk on her face. "Wasted no time getting your big boobs out I see."

"That's usually the easiest way of getting Hiccup to cooperate, if I remember correctly," Cami untied the string of her trousers, and made a show of stepping out of them; one smooth, shapely leg at a time.

"Um, Astrid," there were any number of things Hiccup should have said in protest of this; but his sharp mind was finally failing him, after dealing with the shock of what appeared to be a plot to consensually defile his marriage bed. Not to mention the debilitating display of cleavage before him.

Almost comically, the one thought that was able to pierce through that fog and make it out of his mouth was, "were you planning to watch?"

He winced at the utter lameness of that, and was even more shocked at the realization that, deep down, he was not able to come up with the will to try and put a stop to this. He couldn't even say that he wanted to.

"Oh, I don't know," his wife teased him, deliberately giving his bog lover a long up and down glance. "It is quite the view."

"But it's normally an exclusive one," Cami raised an eye at her; crossing her arms in a way that she knew would push her breasts up all the more. "Unless you were planning to put up too?"

Hiccup had always suspected it would be dangerous for Astrid and Cami to be in the same room as each other for any amount of time, but he was only now realizing just why. Neither woman was good when it came to resisting a challenge, and they'd both realized the other was the best place to find one.

Just like every other challenge, Astrid answered this one without hesitation. And she answered by pulling her signature blue shirt off in a quick motion, and tossing it to the floor to join Cami's. The bindings around her breasts came down with purposeful casualness.

I'm dead, Hiccup thought, as he stared in rapture at the two women. I keeled over sitting at my work desk, and this is Valhalla.

"Now," Astrid took a couple steps toward Cami. "Are we going to get down to business, or are you waiting for me to change my mind?" She couldn't help but be aware of the other woman's bare breasts, just inches from rubbing against her own. Alright, so maybe I am a breast woman.

"Oh, I just figured Hiccup would want a moment so he can enjoy the view. ," Cami deliberately glanced downward, at the other woman's nakedness. "And he isn't the only one."

"Well, you can ask Hiccup to draw a picture for you later," Astrid crossed her arms just under her breasts, and kept her face stern. "Now are we doing this, or not?"

With a crazy smirk, Camicazi strutted around the baseboard of the large Haddock bed, and climbed on top of it. She made a show of stretching out her smooth leg as she did, and proceeded to crawl toward her prize like a hungry she-dragon. Hiccup shuffled backward, out of habit rather than fear, and by the time his head hit the pile of pillows, she had straddled his middle, one shapely thigh pinning him on either side. The hardness in his middle that greeted her was all the confirmation she needed to keep going.

Astrid, who had just taken a moment to slip out of her armored kilt and trousers, because why not, sat on the edge of the bed at their feet. With an expression of mild interest, she looked for all the world like she was watching her husband tinker away at one of his projects.

She tried not to give any outward sign of the butterflies that took flight in her stomach, as Hiccup placed his skillful hands on Cami's bare rump, and they both leaned in to kiss each other hungrily.

As their lips fought with each other, hot and sweet. Cami grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, and began pulling it over his head. Once that was accomplished, Hiccup was clear headed enough to reach down to unstrap his prosthetic leg before they tried to go further. But the same task he performed every day was suddenly impossible for his fingers, while the well endowed blond on his lap was doing her best to distract him with her lips against his cheek.

"Here," Astrid reached over and pushed his hands out of the way. "I'll get that." No one would ever call Astrid Hofferson an obedient or submissive wife; but she was a dutiful one, and after long years had learned the trick to fastening and unfastening as well as he had.

Cami was ready to get down to business, and the burglar wasted no time, trailing her kisses south. Her lips danced over his collar and chest, until they tickled just above the hair poking out from his trousers. Without hesitating she undid the strings of his pants, grinning like a loon when his cock swung up to hit his stomach with a lewd, fleshy smack.

She'd remembered him being big, but maybe she'd forgotten just how much!

"Aah," Cami reached down and wrapped a calloused hand around his thick shaft. "You know, sometimes my girlfriends, and the old biddies back home, wonder about why I didn't choose a bigger, stronger viking to father my daughter," She grinned evilly, and dragged her hand down to the base of his shaft. "They're always confused when I tell them, I chose the mightiest man in Berk." Her hand moved from the base of his member, up the many inches to the tip. "Want me to finally tell them why?"

Hiccup couldn't answer her, as he was too busy clenching the sheets until his knuckles turned white. "Aaaaaaaaaahh,"

"Well, if you insist," Cami teased, leaning down to plant a wet kiss on the tip of his cock. "I'll announce it at the Burglar's next Thing."

As her one hand worked its way up and down his cock, she reached down with the other to fondle the fat bollocks hanging beneath it. They certainly felt heavy enough, and Cami found herself wondering how long it had been since the last time Astrid had seen to her husband's needs, and how large of a load was waiting for her. "Berk's prized jewels," she gave the two palm-filling balls a gentle kiss. "Too bad I can't steal these from under you!"

"Hey," Astrid gave the other woman a sharp pinch on her shapely ass. "Are you here to talk, or are you going to get down to business?"

Cami stuck her tongue out at her. "Perve," she leaned in closer to Hiccup, scouching up to straddle his hips. He felt her hot weight pressing down on his hardness; and could tell she was already very wet. "Was she this much of a freak when your marriage started?"

"C-Cami," Hiccup was so desperate to satisfy the ache of his hardness, that he had to stop himself from bucking up against his old friends hard enough to throw her off. "You're really, really talking too much."

"Oh, typical man," Cami lifted herself up and crouched over him, positioning the head of his cock at her wet folds. "Only got one thing on your mind!"

And she finally, mercifully, slid down to take in the tip of his manhood. Hiccup bit his lip as he had to fight the urge to grab her hips and thrust up deep into her. Cami's fingernails dug into his side, as she slowly sank down farther onto him. She hadn't had a cock in so long, much less the largest one in Berk. The feeling of fullness was almost too much to take, but at the same time she desperately needed more. She arched her back and threw back her head, as she made it down nearly to his base.

For a moment she allowed herself to forget there was any bigger reason for them to be doing this. As she raised her hips up, pausing only a minute before bringing them back down, she wasn't worried about anything but getting his big cock as deep inside herself as possible.

There was no more need to talk, as the two set at each other with a quickening rhythm. For all his bemusement, Hiccup didn't miss a beat; matching her move for move, as if there hadn't been years since their last night together. Cami arched her back again at his good work, presenting him with a stunning view of her heaving breasts, and the emboldened viking didn't even ask before he reached out to take them both in either hand. Her response was to lean in further into his grasp.

Astrid watched them go at it with rapt fascination, taking in every second of it. She had never imagined that she might enjoy the sight of her husband plowing away at another woman, but was caught off guard by the rising heat building inside of her. Afterall, this wasn't any betrayal of their marriage. Hiccup wasn't going anywhere he hadn't already been, and the boggy bitch knew she was only getting away with this because of Astrid's permission.

The loving wife couldn't see any real danger here; nothing was going to change about their marriage. The family was just going to get a little bigger. And maybe the Bog Burglar was going to be dropping in more often now, if she had twice the kids with Hiccup.

But maybe that wasn't the worst thing.

She let her eyes travel over Cami, taking in the sight of a naked woman in the middle of love making for the first time. She involuntarily moved a hand toward her own womanhood, starting to ache with its own need. The Burglar's heavy tits were almost hypnotic, bouncing with each rise and fall of her hips. Astrid had to fight a powerful urge to reach out and fondle one.

Why should Hiccup have all the fun?

Cami only increased the frenzy of her movements, doing everything she could to encourage Hiccup to thrust deeper into her. When she had taken him all in she could feel his heavy bollocks slapping against her. Her insides were melting at the thought of the load of thick, potent seed he was about to give her; and between the mead and the long, long time it didn't take much to have her teetering on the edge of ecstasy.

"C-come on Hiccup," She leaned in closer, speaking softly. "Do it. G-give it to me." She could never have allowed herself to be this open with another man, this vulnerable. But with her dear, dear old friend, she could be honest. "Give me a baby!"

Hiccup's answer, was to reach up and cup both hands firmly around her shapely ass cheeks, pulling her down tight against him as he thrust deeper and deeper into her core. The Bog Burglar gripped his shoulders as best she could with weak fingers, the bounce of her hips giving out as a tremendous orgasm crashed over her like a wave.

She very nearly went limp, laying down on him fully as she rode through the aftershock. But her insides tightened around his hardness, , squeezing him like a vice, and pulling him off the edge with her. With one last mighty thrust, Hiccup released himself deep in his old friend's womb. Cami gasped at the feeling of his hot seed filling her insides, coming again and again until his thrusts weakened from one eruption after another.

As their movements slackened, the two lay there in a hot embrace, gasping for air as if they had just run to the top of Raven Point and back. Their eyes found each other, and a long look that seemed to say a lot lead them to a long, gentle kiss.

Astrid watched them with reddened cheeks, and a hand covering her mouth. Their babymaking was hands down the most arousing thing she had ever seen. And somehow, the real and open affection between them made it even more obscene; in the most warm and wholesome way. Her husband shifted as he continued to kiss his old lover, finally easing his hardness out of her. His long cock was lathered in their combined juices, as its softening length slowly swung down to lie between his thighs.

His wife had to force herself to remove her other hand from the wetness of her own folds.

Still panting, Cami slid off her lover with a laugh that was far too girlish for a Bog Burglar; while keeping an arm around him and laying against his side. "Hiccup," in a trick of the light, it almost looked like Cami's eyes were watering. "Oh Hiccup."

"Cami," he reached around to put an arm around her shoulders. "I'm here for you Cami. Always." He glanced over at his wife, finding the agreement in her eyes. "You're part of the family."

"Thank you," the Bog Burglar rubbed at her eyes, she must have gotten something in them. 'Love of Thor, I can't thank you both enough!"

"Well," Astrid found the other woman's open gratitude almost overwhelming, and stopped herself from showing it by reaching over her husband to punch her lightly on the shoulder, like she was a friend thankful for a small favor. "Just, um, keep me in mind when it's time to name the little boglet."

"S-sure thing," Cami sniffed; putting on her best sarcastic face. "Assey maybe, or Assa."

That earned her another, less gentle punch.

"Okay, okay you two," Hiccup brushed his wife's arm back to his side. "Let's not count our Nadder's before they've hatched; we might not have even have gotten the job done."

"Might not?" Cami gestured lewdly down the sticky mess he'd left dripping down her smooth thighs. "Did you see the load your yak-sized bollocks stuffed me with?"

Hiccup averted his eyes, his already flushed cheeks reddening further. "I'm just saying, one night might not do it."

"Maybe," Astrid crawled up closer to her husband, her naked skin pressed against his. "Was one time enough when you did it last time?"

"Um, no we did do it more than once," Hiccup coughed.

"Really," she leaned in a little closer. "How many times?"

"Oh, um, you know, we only really did it for a day or two," Hiccup blushed, improbably still bashful about the subject of his and Cami's relationship. "It might have been two or thre-"

"Five times," Cami said with a smile. "Not counting the oral warmups he gave me. You know how dedicated to getting a job done he is. Though it was all in two days!"

"Odin's Teeth!" Astrid declared with mock horror, as she punched her husband on the shoulder. "You were a dog back then babe!"

"Oh, don't you start," Hiccup threw an arm around his chuckling wife to pull her closer. He already had the other arm around Cami; and it suddenly seemed the most natural thing in the world for him to be holding them both so close at once. "You weren't exactly a respectable shield maiden yourself back then either."

"Yah; we all used to be a bit wild, back before the babies started coming," Astrid leaned her head on his shoulder. "Ever think we grew up too fast?"

"Uh. I don't know," Hiccup lightly poked her in the side, and turned to grin at Cami. "She talks about the kids like she wasn't as much of a crazy viking after she got pregnant."

"Really," Cami propped herself up like it was a fascinating topic. "Motherhood didn't mellow her?"

"Mellow, that word was dropped from her vocabulary. I swear, the pregnancy weight did nothing to her flexibility."
"Hey," Astrid grinned from ear to ear. They'd finally riled Hiccup up enough that he was starting to snipe back; which was always when he was at his most fun. "That's some big talk from a guy who got button-popping erections from the site of me sewing baby clothes."

"Trying to sew you mean," he countered.

"And the guy who's already up to go another round at babymaking," his wife insisted.

Hiccup glanced down at his cock, as if to confirm he hadn't gotten another erection that simply escaped his notice. "What do you mean up-" He was cut off when Astrid reached down, and took him in hand.

His manhood was still slick with both his seed and Cami's wetness, and the site of it had been giving her the impulsive desire to lean down and taste them both. Instead, she grasped him with the hand she'd used on herself moments before, adding her own fluids to the mix.

"W-wait Astrid," Hiccup saw the hungry look in his wife's eyes, and knew what was about to happen. "Give, um, give Cami a moment before she has to get up an-"

"She doesn't have to leave," she glanced at the other woman long enough that the two women seemed to have a short conversation. "I want her to see every minute!"

Astrid wasn't waiting for him to reply, but her strong hand closed tighter around his cock, giving its reemerging length a good pump. Hiccup was already suffering from a kind of sensual overload, and didn't respond outside of a low grown, resigning himself to whatever ministrations she had in mind.

"Don't wear him out," Cami almost pouted. "I'm still going to need him."

"And you can use him," Astrid said lightly, as she straddled her husband possessively, setting her full weight on his renewed hardness "When I'm done with him."

"You, you two," even with his mind still a lustful haze, no viking could ever match Hiccup for how much sarcasm could be put into a statement. "You tw to make this a competition!"

"Yah," Cami shrugged, like a Bog Burglar couldn't have done otherwise.

"Oh don't you start," Astrid threw back his comment from a moment before with a well practiced imitation of his unmistakable voice, and poked him roughly in the stomach. "You're the one who's winning."

Unlike Cami's almost frenzied lust, Astrid took him slowly. She sank down languidly onto his erection, inch by inch, moaning with every flex of her insides and twitch of his cock. Hiccup wasn't so tired that he didn't have the energy to thrust up into her; but when he tried she did her best to hold him down, making him wait for the full immersion he wanted.

Astrid liked to take it slow sometimes, especially as a way to tease her lustful husband. But this was different. Every one of her movements was a little exaggerated, her noises louder than usual (and she'd never been quiet in the act before), because Hiccup wasn't the only person she was teasing. She felt Cami's eyes watching her every movement, and threw back her head as she rocked her hips particularly hard. She wasn't in any hurry; after all, she could ride Hiccup's big cock any time she wanted!

She always liked to challenge herself too. Any viking worth her horns could stay focused through pain and discomfort. It took a truly iron willed warrior to stick to a goal when a mighty cock was hitting her wet insides in all the right spots.

She couldn't keep it up forever though, partly because Hiccup's loving was growing more and more desperate. His deceptively strong hands reached up to grab her hips and pull them down tighter on top of him, and she found herself having to fight not to be bucked up by his harder and harder thrusts.

Propped up on one elbow, Cami watched the two of them go at it with a devilish grin. "How's she feel Hiccup?" She prodded, scooting closer to her friend as he picked up his pace. "I've always wondered how sex between a man and woman feels, after you've done it for years." She leaned in closer, stage whispering so they both could hear. "Is she as tight as me?"

The competitive side of Astrid might normally have done something about that; but in this case, she let it slide. Mostly because the other woman's words seemed to be lighting a fire in her husband!

Cami watched intently, as Hiccup let loose, thrusting up into his wife with something like a wild desperation. And they could both see Astrid rapidly approaching her end; she'd already been hot and ready after watching the two of them go at it. The viking woman faltered, and seemed to be about to go soft where she sat, until with a final bounce of her hips she threw back her head, and clutched the blankets till her knuckles turned white.

"Huh," Cami watched with rapt fascination. "So that's what a woman looks like when she's coming all over a cock. I've never seen it from this angle before."

Hiccup only half heard her, his dazed mind distracted by his wife's hot breath against his ear, and her warm wetness around his manhood. His hands roamed up and down his wifes beautiful, powerful thighs, her breasts shaking with each thrust he gave her. He'd thought himself fairly well drained by Cami; but when he erupted into his wife it was more than enough to flood her insides, and soil their blankets all over again.

These girls were going to be the death of him.

---

Hiccup came awake slowly, unsure if he was still dreaming or not as he found himself lying limply in his bed. His limbs felt too tired to move, or maybe it was just the heavenly warmth of the blankets around him. When he blinked his eyes open, he had the strangest feeling; that he was floating in a sea of golden sunlight. Then he yawned, and nearly choked on the smothering layer of blond hair that was covering him.

Weakly brushing the stuff away from his mouth,Hiccup was confronted with the sight of Camicazi, sleeping soundly next to him. The blanket was pulled up just over her breasts, but he could see enough to tell that she was naked under the covers.

So last night wasn't a dream! He turned to his other side, and sure enough there was his wife, her head resting against his shoulder. He could feel the bare skin of both women touching his own under the blankets. Yep, definitely not a dream.

Hiccup should probably have been panicking right about then. His wife had seemed fine with him having sex with his old friend last night, when she had gods knew how many drinks in her; but what kind of mood would she be in in the morning, when she sobered up? There were so many things wrong with what he just did, and so many ways he might end up paying for it. But as he studied the beautiful Bog Burglar sleeping next to him, the only question he could really bring himself to care about was; did we do it? Is Cami pregnant again?

With another quick look to the two women at his side, Hiccup settled back down in the bed, nestling between the two girls and closing his eyes.

Astrid was probably going to kill him when she sobered up in the morning.

But that could wait until morning.

---

Camicazi woke up with a long, lazy stretch, and nearly fell off of the edge of the bed. The Bog Burglars had a few on and off partners among her own tribe, but still slept alone more often than not. And it had been years since she'd had two at once.

"Good morning," a surprisingly chipper Astrid greeted from a chair across the room, where she sat gathering her hair into its normal braid.

"Morning," Cami glanced down at her side. Even though Astrid had left her spot, Hiccup still lay like a log in the middle. Cami was a little surprised she hadn't had any trouble sleeping when she'd been almost on the edge of a bed meant for two.

Careful not to wake the sleeping chief, Cami got unsteadily to her feet. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. If she'd woken up in the bed of one of her tribeswomen, there would have been no problem with her staying. After a night with a man, she was supposed to leave at first light, if not sooner. But Hiccup had never been just any other man, and she technically had spent the night with a woman.

Cami tried to be discreet, as she cast her gaze over to the other blond, who was looking into a small mirror as she tamed her hair. Her braid had sort of half unraveled during the night, so her practiced fingers were working quickly to undo it entirely before regathering the golden strands into order.

She was still naked while she did it, and Cami couldn't help but watch the bare skin shift with the flexing muscles of her strong back. It brought to mind how appealing the site of her front had been.

"I, I don't suppose . . ." How did you politely ask your lover's wife if you could stay for breakfast?

"We have some honeyed oat cakes, with yak cream, if you'd want to stay." The other woman took pity on her, and didn't make her say it outloud. Astrid seemed to be in a very good mood, after the dicking she'd gotten the night before. Or maybe she'd always had an accommodating side, and Cami had never been in a position to see it before.

"Um, yes, thank you." Cami managed to get out as Astrid finished making herself presentable, and got up from the chair. She picked up a shirt half hanging off the desk, and slid it on, turning as she did so. The bog woman was given a mesmerizing view of the rise and fall of her supple breasts. Cami was surprised at how casual the other woman was, apparently oblivious to the show she was putting on. At least, until the hooligan woman's head poked through the shirt, and for just a moment they made eye contact. And Astrid's lip twitched up smugly at the site of the other woman ogling her; knowing, almost daring, before she turned to put the mirror and brush back into a draw.

Cami hesitated at what she wanted to say next. But she'd been pushing her luck this whole time, and it had paid off so far. "Can . . . can I ask you something?"

"I suppose," Astrid looked up nonchalantly. The shirt she had put on was one of Hiccup's, and it hung loosely over her shoulders, exposing more than a bit of chest. It was a great site to start the day with.

"Have you ever been with anyone other than Hiccup? As, you know, as lovers?"

She had the other woman's full attention now. "No," she shrugged. "But I've never been a person who feels attraction very easily. Hiccup was the first person I felt more than friendship for; but if that hadn't happened when I was young . . . there might have been others."

"So you have, well, never felt for anyone but Hiccup?"

Astrid crossed her arms. She probably wasn't used to talking about something so personal with anyone but her husband. "There was one other person," a smile flickered across her face. "Did you ever meet Heather, I think you did once?"

"Heather? I don't know a-wait, Heather the Unhinged? That Berserker girl with the black hair and spiky armor!"

"That name never really suited her," Astrid was staring off into the distance now. "She could be one of the most gentle people you'd ever met. When she wasn't ending dragon hunters with fire and steel."

"So you do have a thing for women, sometimes at least," Cami felt a little excited heat creeping under her skin. "Did you ever . . ."

"No," Astrid shrugged. "We were always running around from one danger to the next when we were young, and me and Hiccup were getting so serious so quickly." They both saw the irony in that, since it would have been right after he had fathered a daughter on his old friend. "I never had his courage to go after what I wanted."

"It, it can be hard when you're young," Cami had spent more than a few nights up late; anxious about her growing feelings for her only friend, fully knowing what her duty to the tribe would require from her, and wondering if she was brave enough to ask him for the help she desperately wanted.

"Since then, it's been pretty solidly me and Hiccup," Astrid took a step toward the other woman, a smirk on her face. "Though a certain ratnest haired pirate has been butting in from time to time."

"Well," Cami to a step forward too. "If said pirate were ever to pop in when your husband isn't home, would she still be invited in?"

"Maybe," the two women were leaning in closer, so that Cami could almost feel the tickle of Astrid's breath against her face.

Their lips met, hot and soft and fascinating. It wasn't the most intimate kiss ever; it was more curious, like tasting a new wine for the first time. Cami was tempted to lean in and take her with a little more umf; but since it was the hooligan warrior's first time with another woman, it might have been best to be gentler.

When they parted, she was a little surprised to see Astrid flushed, breathing deeply, as if the wine had been stronger than she expected.

"So," Cami found herself taking a deep breath too. The warrior woman was the most thrilling conquest she'd attempted in years. "Does this mean we haven't had our last girls night out together?"

"It means," Asstrid poked her in the chest. "I'll think about it. After we've all had something to eat." Then she picked up a shirt hanging off the bed, and pressed it to the other woman. "And after you stop trying to distract me!"

Cami realized she was still very much naked, her bare skin still marked with a few souvenirs from her night of hopeful baby-making. Astrid headed out of the room; but as she glanced back the burglar gave herself a little shake, grinning like a fiend as she made sure to get in one last jiggle of her assets at the other woman.

The shirt she slid on turned out to be another one of Hiccup's, which she supposed was appropriate. It had his distinctive smell; a rich mix of woodsmoke and treated leather, with the musky smell of dragon hide on top. She pressed her nose into it, and breathed deeply. It smelled like promise. She sent a loving glance at the red headed viking, still fast asleep on the bed they'd all shared.

She'd come to Berk, half worried that what she was going to do would cause her to lose an old friend. Instead, it looked like she was going to gain much, much more.

---

Hiccup woke up more quickly this time, and stayed awake. The bed was empty now, but the warmth of the other two was still there.

As much as he might want to keep basking in it, he would have to get up and face the music eventually. Groggily, he managed to pull himself up to sit on the mattress, and was lucky to find his pants immediately.

His normally sure fingers were clumsy as he worked his prosthetic leg back onto its stump, but he managed to stand without too much trouble. He felt sore all over; a warm, pleasant kind of soar. At least he could die happy.

Tripping down the stairs, Hiccup followed the smell of a fresh woodsmoke down to the main hearth. Astrid was standing over it, tending to a small fire that only took up one of its corners, that she was using to heat a kettle. Camicazi sat at the table, watching her with a mug of hot tea in her hands. The sight of the two women took Hiccup aback. Astrid wore a long sleeve shirt of green, and Cami an identical one of red. They were both his, and neither woman was wearing anything else.

"Morning babe," Astrid greeted casually, like it was any other day.

"Yah, babe," Cami grinned over her mug. His shirt didn't quite fit her as well, it was stretched tighter across her ample chest.

With a cough, and a blush, Hiccup stumbled over to the table, bemused as he accepted a mug of steaming tea from his wife. "Good mating-Morning, good morning," he fumbled over his words. Gods, how had he gotten himself into this. "So, um, how, how did you guys sleep last night?"

"Like someone fucked a baby into me!" Cami said with a smirk, at the same time Astrid drawled, "Like there was another woman in my husband's bed."

Hiccup winced at the lameness of his own question. I'm dead.

Astrid sat down and took a drink from her own tea, then glanced back and forth between the two of them. "We might as well address the flaming monstrous nightmare in the room." Hiccup was just getting ready to argue in his own defense, when she turned to Cami instead. "How long were you thinking you would stay with us?"

"Well," Cami toyed with her cup as she thought about it. "I should have another four or five days before my cycle turns again, so at least into next week."

"But it could take more than one fertile period for it to stick," Astrid went on. "I guess, are you planning to come back every month? That's a bit of a journey?"

"Wait, hold up," Hiccup raised his hands to interrupt the conversation. "Are we still talking about a new baby?"

"Yah," Astrid looked at him like he was talking crazy, an expression he was very familiar with. "Isn't that the whole idea?"

"But you're, you're still on board with it?" He glanced back and forth between the two women.

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Did we not get that point across last night?"

"Well yes," Hiccup blushed. "It's just that, you know, there seemed to be a lot of mead involved. Like, a whole lot!"

"Hiccup," Astrid reached across the table, taking his hand in hers. "You know I made my peace with you fathering Baela a long time ago. And now, I've even started to get used to Cami, somehow." The two women shared a wry smile. "If our little family is going to get any bigger, I'd rather you be the one to do it, than anyone else."

"I-I" There was a lot that Hiccup wanted to say, but couldn't quite put into words. "I really don't deserve you Astrid," he squeezed her hand as tightly as he could, while his heartfelt look said the rest.

"No you don't," she gave his hands a squeeze. "But I think I'll keep you around anyway."

Cami almost hated to interrupt the touching moment, but she was to get back to the task at hand. After so many years pining after her old friends, there was no point in wasting time.

"So," she leaned forward, the oversized shirt offering a good view of her assets. "Astrid was just telling me how you Hooligan vikings get your work started bright and early. You ready to live up to that Hiccup?"

"Yes, I mean, ready to do what now?" Hiccup shifted, as he guessed what she was getting at. "It's a little soon to go back to bed already."

The Burglar pulled a face. "You want to do it on the table? I didn't think your tribe was that uncivilized!"

"Nothing but meals is happening on this table," Astrid cut in, betting that the other woman wasn't entirely joking. "If you're too cock hungry to make it back up the stairs, you might as well just do it on the floor."

"You heard her Hiccup," Cami got to her feet. "Let's put some stains into that yak skinned rug of yours!"

The red head shot his wife a look that managed to clearly say: never say something to Cami unless you're ready for her to take it literally! But he didn't offer any resistance as the Bog burgled him away from the table.

In the next room she pushed him back onto the rug a little harder than necessary; but not enough to dampen the arousal already forming in his pants. Cami straddled him possessively, strong thighs pinning him in place as she sat directly on his hardness. Astrid followed them into the room, taking one last deep drink from her tea before setting it on a chair.

"W-we couldn't have at least had breakfast first?" Hiccup asked, even as his hands went to the strings of his trousers.

"Why babe?" With a long step, Astrid suddenly stood directly over her husband's head. His cheeks colored as she tugged the shirt she was wearing up a little, giving him an unobstructed view Between her legs. "Are you hungry?"

---

"Breakfast is on me," Zephyr announced as she came barreling into the campsite. Valka looked up from where she'd been minding the fire. Stoick had taken the kids out at the crack of dawn, to fish for the day's food. Judging by her excitement, the girl must have done well.

"Aye, lets see what you got?" Valka asked.

Zephyr struck the proudest pose she could, and held up a line of half a dozen of the smallest fish she had ever seen. Her grandmother had to hold back a laugh that might have crushed the girls spirit, as the rest of their party came back. Baela smirked at her sister, as she held up a line of three decent sized fish. But it was Nuffink who practically beamed with pride, struggling under the weight of a fish that was nearly as tall as he was.

"Well, they all turned out to have good arms for casting," Stoick smiled. "A bit of work still to do on getting a catch though."

As they set about cleaning the fish, Valka made a point to ask Baela, "Are you sure you won't need to go back to the village tonight?"

"It's okay," her granddaughter answered. "Momma said we would be at Berk for a few days, maybe a week. But she'll come get me if she needs me."

Valka glanced at her husband, meaningfully catching his eye. "Did your mother happen to say why she wanted to see your father?"

The little girl shrugged like it didn't matter, as she pulled fish guts and bone apart. "She just said you all would be missing us."

"Aye," Stoick didn't want to worry the kids. "That we were!"

Once they had prepared and cooked the food, Valka motioned her husband to sit beside her by the fire, on the far side from where the kids were arguing about their fishing skills as they ate. "Do you know what Camicazi might want to talk to Hiccup about?" Valka asked quietly. "They came kind of out of the blue; and I swear the woman seemed nervous."

Stoick had noticed it too, but shrugged indifferently. "Ah, who can tell with those Bog Burglars; probably wants to ask to use the dragons for some robbery or something."

"I think she would know better than that," Valka countered.

"Aye, and even if she didn't, Hiccup would never allow it," the former chief chewed thoughtfully. "Whatever she want's can't be that bad. I'd be more worried about how long she stays. Especially if she planned to be staying at Hiccup's house. Spending all day with him. And Astrid."

On her infrequent visits to Berk, Cami had actually slept as a guest in Stoick and Valka's house more than Hiccup's. They didn't mind, though they often found odd items missing once the burglar had left. But what the woman might get up to staying at Astrid's house . . .

"Oh, you don't think they'd really end up in a fight, do you?" Valka sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "I know it was difficult for Astrid, but I think she made peace with it."

"She is the most reasonable, level headed viking I know," Stoick agreed. "But," he looked meaningfully at his wife. "Still a viking."

Valka stole a guilty glance over at the children, who had finished eating and were playing with the fish bones. "Maybe we should head back today?"

"And spoil it for them?" Stoick shook his bearded head. "Whatever happens while we're gone won't be that bad. Just be prepared to find those two valkyries going at each other, with our poor boy stuck in between them!"

---

Hiccup lay stretched out across his living room floor, helpless to resist as two warrior women pinned him down.

Cami rode him with an almost desperate passion, coaxing his thick cock deeper inside of her with every bounce of her hips.

Unable to simply sit back again, Astrid had asserted her right to her husband's face, demanding all the skill his tongue could muster. Hiccup had no lack of practice in that regard, but it was taking all his effort to serve both women at once. It didn't help that Astrid always sat on him facing forward; where she could see his handsome face framed by her thighs, and dig her hands into his hair. But for once, she had presented her backside to his face instead.

She wasn't about to miss the sight of the busty blonde riding her husband's thick cock.

"AH," Cami couldn't keep her mouth shut, as her lover thrust deep into her. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Y-you about ready to f-finish?" Astrid teased, even as her husband's mouth work had her squirming.

The Bog Burglar made a valiant effort to smirk defiance back at her. "You k-kiding? I'll probably h-have to drain H-hiccup twice befaaaaaaaaahhh h-he gets me of-ff."

"Really," Astrid could barely get the words out herself. "Because it looks like m-my husband's about to have this tough w-warrior lady begging for his s-s-seed."

Cami's breasts heaved hypnotically as she replied. "Just you t-try me, H-hooligan! Then w-we'll see who b-begs!"

Unable to let that challenge go unanswered, Astrid leaned forward and pulled the other woman into a deep kiss. Their lips attacked each other with hungry passion, and Astrid kept the bucking woman in place with one arm, while her other hand possessively claimed her heavy breast. And as she was being assaulted on two fronts by Mr. and Mrs. Haddock, Cami felt the wave of her pleasure crash over her!

The blonds continued to kiss, battling it out for dominance; though it was Hiccup's lips that finished his wife off. And the two women were practically leaning on each other to stay upright, by the time the lucky chief of Berk finally released himself deep into his old friend's womb.

---

Cami's pregnancy would be announced just a little more than three weeks later. Astrid beat her by five days, and wouldn't let her hear the end of it.

You know, when I started writing this, the plan was for Astrid and Cami to have a sex scene before it was over, but somehow it didn't get there. Most of the time was dedicated to explaining their rivals-to-friends situationship, we only just got to the beginning of lovers. Maybe next time.