Feeling Everything

Boredom. Happiness. Anger. Love. Sadness. Indifference. Lust. Anxiety. All these and more bombarded Jasper from every direction. He had gotten pretty good at tuning them out most of the time. He had to, otherwise he'd go crazy. But some days, like today, there was no tuning it out.

He tried to focus on the wildly inaccurate lecture on the Civil War his teacher was giving, but he just couldn't do it. Eventually, he decided school was not the place for him right now. He stood up and left the classroom, ignoring his teacher's calls and his classmate's mutterings.

'Going home. Everything's fine. Tell Alice not to worry.' He said in his mind to Edward. He bypassed the parking lot in favor of walking home. Jasper kept a normal, human-like pace until he was far enough in the woods behind the school. As soon as he knew he was alone and no one could see him, he took off.

He stopped his run a few paces back from the house and walked slowly up to the door. Breathing deeply, Jasper reveled in the solitude the house offered. It wasn't just so they could hunt undetected. The distance also meant he and Edward weren't constantly barraged by the emotions and thoughts of people outside their family.

Walking inside, Jasper felt a wave of calm wash over him. His siblings were at school and he knew Carlisle was at work, so there was only one other person home right now.

"Esme?" he called. She appeared at the top of the stairs. He could sense her confusion, but there was also an underlying of happiness that never seemed to leave her when their family was together.

"Jasper? What are you doing home already?" she asked coming down the stairs to greet him.

"I… it was too much," he admitted softly. "Being there right now."

"Do you need to hunt?" she asked.

"No, not that," he shook his head. "I could just… I could feel everything."

"I see," she said in understanding, placing both hands on either side of his face. She knew how taxing it was for him to constantly feel the emotions of those around him.

"I'm glad you came home," she said gently, "If it was too much, I'm glad you didn't force yourself to stay. I can go out if you'd like"

"No!" Jasper said hurriedly, "I mean… no, don't go because of me. I… I'd like it if you stayed."

Esme always seemed to have a sense of calm around her. While Jasper had struggled at first when he and Alice had joined the family, he soon came to trust Esme and Carlisle. It took longer for him to develop relationships with Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie. Even now when he was feeling like this… he couldn't always be around them. But Esme, and even Carlisle, they helped him stay calm.

"How about we make some tea and go sit outside?" she suggested and he nodded, smiling slightly. They made their tea and went out to sit on the balcony.

"Sorry if my coming home interrupted anything," he said suddenly, realizing she'd probably been busy when he arrived.

"Not at all," she waved him off, "I was just going over the plans for a new project."

"Tell me about it?" he requested and she smiled brightly and began explaining her project to him. Jasper leaned back in his chair, feeling the tension leave his body as he listened to Esme speaking.

In the house, they both heard the front door open and close.

"Hello?" Carlisle called out.

"Out here dear," Esme said and a few moments later, Carlisle had joined them on the balcony.

"I wasn't expecting you home until later," Esme smiled, leaning into the greeting kiss he gave her.

"The hospital let me leave early," he explained, "After I told them the high school called to tell me one of my children had gone rogue in the middle of class and left.

Jasper grinned sheepishly and Carlisle chuckled.

"Rough day?" he asked kindly, sitting beside Esme and looking at his son. Jasper nodded.

"Having a hard time blocking things out today," he said, "I feel everything and it's like I can't tune them out."

"I told him it was good he came home," Esme told her husband, "Rather than sit there and struggle."

"Absolutely," Carlisle agreed, "And I already sorted it with the school. They were concerned about the material you missed, but I told them you were a bit of a Civil War buff and I doubted you'd have any difficulties."

"Could explain it better than the teacher was anyway," Jasper muttered.

"Well, now I know everything's fine, I'll leave you both to it," Carlisle stood and made to leave.

Jasper and Esme exchanged looks, Jasper nodding his ascent.

"You can stay dear," Esme said, "If you'd like."

"I don't want to interrupt," Carlisle said.

"You're not," Jasper told him, "We're just trying to relax. You should stay."

"Well, alright then," Carlisle smiled warmly and then sat in the chair on Jasper's other side.

The couple spoke about their days as Esme began running her hand through Jasper's curls and Carlisle rested his hand on his son's back.

Jasper closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Without the constant barrage of teenage emotions, he was finally able to relax and let the voices of his parents wash over him, draining any remaining tension from his body.

Jasper has always been my favourite character in the Twilight series. It's been a while since I've written anything for this fandom, and I know it's OOC, but I enjoy exploring more to these characters than what we got in the books or movies.

Thanks so much for reading!