Here we go time to begin the level everyone remembers the game for, this will be spread for three chapters rather then two.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this.

DM77's Psychonauts Chapter 16

Ralph's Milkman Conspiracy Part 1

We now come to a small island in the middle of the lake with a huge tower, where we see the Mutated Goldeen emerges from the water onto a small alcove beach and spits out Nigel who in his had had a conch shaped like a Sharpedo.

"When it is your wish to travel across the lake, you may return to either shore and summon me with that." The Mutated Goldeen told Nigel.

"Thanks, Mutated Goldeen." Nigel said standing up and smiling at the mutated Pokemon "You know, you really aren't as hideous as people say."

"You may call me now by my true name, Nigel." The Mutated Goldeen told him "The name given to me by my given to me by my people."

"And what name is that, noble lake creature?" Nigel asked them.

"Goldie." The Mutated Goldeen said which was a surprise as the voice sounded male but the Pokemon proceeds to go back into the lake.

"What a magical lady." Nigel said smiling as he puts the conch into his backpack. He then looks up at the tower on the cliffs ahead of him but then he notices something on the floor and picks up it up to reveal a friendship bracelet. "This is Rachel's, so she is definitely here."

He climbs up and comes up to the gate entrance to the tower which overhead read 'Thorny Tower's Asylum' the gate was closed and nearby mumbling to himself as he wrote on the wall. He was a large man in a blue security guard uniform and had a five O'clock shadow beard. The nametag on his uniform read 'Ralph' so that must be his name.

Nigel walks forward but steps on a twig making Ralph jump and turn to him "Ah! Who are you working for?" He asked paranoid.

"Wh-uh…I'm with the Psychonauts!" Nigel said approaching him.

"The who?" Ralph said confused and looks at is scribblings and says concerned "Oh, that doesn't fit in. That doesn't fit in at all. Maybe I've got this all wrong!" He goes back to work on the wall.

Nigel checks the gate and found it locked, he looks at Ralph and asked "Who do YOU work for?"

"I'm the guard. I've been fully trained." Ralph just told him.

"You got to let me in!" Nigel told him "My friend's in there!"

"Sorry, the Milkman has the key. I'm not the Milkman. I'm the guard." Ralph just told him.

"Where's the Milkman?" Nigel asked him.

"I'll bet he's sleeping on the job. His milk is delicious. Everybody wants it." Ralph said smiling as he focuses on his conspiracy wall "He'll be here soon. Then the lies will end."

Nigel thinks on it, something was going on within Ralph's head that is keeping him from talking properly about the Milkman. He figured best to see what's up and find the info himself. He gets out the Psycho-Portal and throws it onto the back of Ralph's head.

"Gah! Not another tracking device!" Ralph said in shock as he feels it on his head but can't reach it.

The door opens and Nigel sorts his shades and is mentally pulled into the doorway and into Ralph's head.

Nigel looks around and finds himself in what looks to be a suburban home from the 1950's. He sees standing in the living room Ralph look at several newspaper articles scattered around the wall and floor.

"It's perfect, isn't it?" Ralph said calmly to Nigel without looking at him.

"Yes." Nigel said not understanding it.

"Almost complete. Just a few missing pieces." Ralph told him.

"Yes. Now which piece talks about the Milkman?" Nigel asked him "The one who opens the asylum gate?"

"But it's ALL about the Milkman, can't you see?" Ralph told him.

"Is this like one of those 3D paintings? I can never do those." Nigel said shaking his head.

"No, you just got to learn to see it like I see it!" Ralph explained to him. "There's something in the fridge that might help you see the world like I do."

"Oooh, sorry. I don't drink…before noon, I mean." Nigel said concerned and looks to see there was no front door to leave the house. "Hey, uh…. where's the door?"

"On the front, like most refrigerators." Ralph said simply.

Nigel realizes that Ralph's mind won't let him leave until he does what was asked. He goes and opens the fridge and to his surprise finds a red Merit badge with two eyes in front of a brain on it, Nigel knew this to be the Clairvoyance Badge.

Nigel uses his new mind to see through Ralph's eyes and through it see a lot of arrows and drawings as well but was drawn to one part that showed a drawing of the Milkman dead. "The Milkman's dead? Aw blast it." He said to that shocked ending the Clairyoyance.

"Burned up in a department store fire. Didn't you hear?" Ralph said to him smiling "At least that's what the media would have you believe….Is he dead or not? Go to the graveyard! Dig him up! Oh, you'll find something all right, but it's neither man nor milk." As he said this the front door appears.

"Where is the Milkman?" Nigel asked Ralph.

"Well, he's NOT in the graveyard, so that's the first place you should look." Ralph told him "I'd go down their myself, but I can't get in. Operatives. Optics. Occularities. Everywhere." Nigel begins to leave but he adds "Be careful! They're watching. All the time.

"Kay…" Nigel said as he exits the house.

Nigel walks out and said to himself eyes closed "Now, how am I going to find some creepy graveyard in this…nice, normal neighborhood?" He looks stunned.

The reason is as he looked, he saw the world was twisted and confusing no doubt reflecting Ralph's mental state. As Nigel walks through the neighbourhood he felt all eyes on him with suspicious, people hiding in trashcans follow him and cameras emerge pit pf stuff to take pictures before hiding again. Either way Nigel was under constant surveillance.

Nigel approaches a yellow border area where a man in a black suit with black sunglasses and hat stops him, he was holding a stop sign as he said "Stop. Road Crew workers only beyond the yellow line."

"You guys are road crew workers?" Nigel asked confused.

"Yes. We work on the road with these red sighs." The man said nodding.

"I see. Well, do you know where the Milkman is?" Nigel asked him.

"Why do you ask that question?" The man asked looking at him suspiciously he then pulls out a gun and aims it at Nigel and the boy sees a badge that was hidden before reading Majestic. "Are you the Milkman?"

"Do I look like a milkman to you?" Nigel asked him trying to keep calm.

The Majestic agent puts the gun away and said "That information is restricted to the road crew. Please move along."

Nigel thinks he won't be allowed to freely pass unless they think he is on the road crew. He sees a Majestic car with the trunk open and pulls out a stop sign. He picks it up and heads back to the yellow board.

The Majestic Agent sees him and said "Hello fellow road crew worker! Welcome to the road crew."

"I'm on the road crew. This is my stop sign." Nigel just says.

"Yes, we are all on the road crew. Our backs are killing us." The Majestic Agent said nodding.

Nigel makes across to the other side and out of the boarder and he sees other Majestic agents in order boarders holding different objects, one closest had a phone and another had gardening sheers.

He will have to find objects relating to them to get access to their areas. He jumps to the next area where he sees a girl in a blue girl scout uniform roller skating and holding a box of cookies.

"Hello, sir. I am a Thundergirl from Troop 257." The Scout said smiling "Would you like to buy a box of my delicious Thundergirl Treats?"

"I would buy some cookies…but I don't have any…MILK." Nigel said figuring she might help with info on the Milkman. "Do you have any idea where I could buy some…MILK? For my…COOKIES?"

The Thundergirl looks at him then lets out "Ahh! Creepy man!" She then skates off.

Nigel was confused and he goes to a nearby Majestic car and opens the trunk to find some gardening sheers. He takes them no he can go to the house the Majestic Agents were guarding and see what's up.

He goes to the house and says to the one of the two Majestic Agents guarding the house saying "I like to trim hedges."

"It is a good day for that activity you mention. Please join me." The Majestic Agent said "I am glad you are here to help me trim these hedges."

Nigel enters the house and sees another smaller boarder section with three Majestic Agents holding rolling pins talking about pies but guarding an item that increases how much Psi blast energy Nigel can use.

Other then that nothing, so he notes this down for later and leaves the house to continue on his way.

Well Ralph's mind sure is reflecting his conspiracy mindset, Nigel will have to find the Milkman to see if that helps break his delusions.

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