I do not own these characters or the world, that belongs to our lovely author of MHA, Kohei Horikoshi. Also, cover art was a commission by me from the artist Krumbs. Follow them on or Twitter—though I guess that's called X now—if you'd like! They are extremely talented!

A/N: I just…don't have words. I really don't.
Thank you for any and all reviews/follows/favs; they are very kind and I always appreciate getting them. I hope this chapter brightens this dark day.

Sixty-Six

The Dreams of Youth are the Regrets of Maturity

Hawks stood in the dim hospital hallway, the door to room 404 just ahead of him—Mirko's hospital room. He'd not been able to see her since everything had gone wrong, or rather, he'd been avoiding her. What kind of coward am I that I can't just go and face her? I love her and she almost died and has paid a huge price and here I am too scared that she'll still be angry with me…

The skin on his back stung and ached, the ointments that had been applied and the painkillers taken hardly taking the edge off of the gargantuan burn that encompassed the wide swath of skin. Hawks wasn't sure if the pain he felt would ever fully subside. He'd never really had a bad burn before let alone one this bad. The only thing he had to compare it to was the occasional sunburn that he'd suffered at various points in his life, and that was a poor comparison. His wings hadn't grown to anything more than nubs at this point and he was doubtful that they'd ever return to their full size and power. The biting stinging on his back was his constant reminder of his failure—the heroes failure.

The raid on the League and the Front had started off as expected but it had rapidly devolved into unbridled chaos. In his opinion, it was a colossal failure. Heroes had died, villains too, not to mention the unwitting and unlucky civilian death or injury. All the work he'd put into carefully gathering information and lining up domino pieces just right, fell apart in spectacular fashion.

Of course he'd had to kill Twice; he'd not wanted to, he liked Twice! Hawks had done everything he could to reason with the villain, tried to be as coercive as possible in convincing him to come willingly but Twice had refused. Why did this even surprise him? He knew that Twice suffered guilt from previous association with Overhaul. His betrayal easily pushed him over the edge.

If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to get over the fact that he had had to kill him. Twice had seemed so betrayed, so destroyed by Hawks' actions; it was painful for him to see. Hawks was a professional though, a professional who was trained well by the safety commission and even if he felt something was morally objectionable and wrong, he was more than capable of putting those feelings aside to do what needed to be done, which is exactly what he'd done.

Dabi's arrival had been unexpected and had nearly cost him to lose control of the situation, not to mention that it had nearly been what killed him. If Tokoyami hadn't come to his rescue, it would've been the end for him. Even after Hawks had managed to regretfully dispose of Twice, Dabi had continued to cook him alive as if he were an American turkey about to be put into the oven for a Thanksgiving celebration. It was in that moment when Keigo thought for certain that he was about to die that that patchwork monster had leaned over and revealed that he not only knew who Hawks really was but who Dabi actually was: Toya Todoroki.

Hawks had only known a little of the complex history that was the Todoroki family. He'd heard rumors that one of Endeavor's children had died at some point in hazy circumstances and that his relationship with his existing children was very strained, but he'd never thought that the rumored dead fourth child was actually alive; alive and a villain. Dabi's statement about Endeavor being his type during their previous semi amicable interaction, made a lot more sense now.

The few times that Hawks had seen Endeavor and his youngest child—Shoto Todoroki—interact had always seemed strained. Considering his own dysfunctional parentage, Hawks should've been able to identify the deep lines of trauma and tension between father and son…but he couldn't; Endeavor was his idol, the one single shining star that helped him through his own wretched childhood. How could he willingly choose to see his hero in such a negative light? Putting someone on a pedestal was never a good idea and only by seeing said person do something truly reprehensible could that pedestal position be shattered…Hawks had never seen Endeavor do anything bad…though seeing Dabi, Toya, should've been enough to shake that blind faith but…it wasn't. Keigo's love for Endeavor persisted.

Even after the realization that Endeavor was badly flawed and had caused significant emotional distress to the entirety of his family, Hawks couldn't find it in his heart to think less of him. Endeavor was the only star in a sea of darkness during his dreary and painful childhood, and he was the continued source of inspiration when the commission had taken custody of him. He might not be on the same pedestal as he was before, but Hawks would always love Endeavor; it was his brightness that had given him the strength to press on during the darkest times before and during his training with the commission.

The insight into the innerworkings of the Todoroki family had changed his perspective on Endeavor's youngest child, Shoto, though. He didn't know the kid very well and probably never would, but he saw bits and pieces of himself as a child in that boy. But unlike Keigo's childhood and the chance to run from his upbringing, Shoto didn't appear to be doing that now. Hawks felt immense respect for the kid considering the fact that the relationship he had with Endeavor was horribly strained not to mention the fact that he was likely reeling with the realization that he'd just found out his big brother wasn't actually dead but that he was very much alive and a villain to boot.

Once Hawks had recovered a little and had had enough strength to be up and about, he'd travelled with Jeanist and had learned that his mother had fled the country and that it'd undoubtedly been her that had informed Dabi who he really was. He'd also then learned a bit more of the Todoroki story after that and had awkwardly walked in on what looked like a painful familial interaction with his existing family.

Hawks again looked at room 404 and raised his hand to slide the door open but hesitated. He was nervous to see her. Everything had gone so terribly wrong and the last time that they'd seen each other she'd been so angry and betrayed by him. He assumed that she understood a bit more now that the raid had come and gone, but he didn't know if he could handle seeing her wounded and angry at him.

He'd just come from Endeavor's other work study kid's room—Izuku Midoriya—intentionally saving his visit to Mirko until the end. Midoriya and One For All were another piece of this infernal puzzle that he'd not known existed until after the events of the failed raid. Perhaps if Hawks had known a bit more about All For One and One For All and the connection to All Might and Midoriya, then they could've been better prepared, but he doubted that. It would've been helpful certainly, but would it have actually changed anything? The commission hadn't even known about the truth of All Might's quirk. Honestly, Hawks was a bit amazed that something so big had been kept on the hush to an entity as knowledge hungry as the commission was.

Thanks to Dabi's—Toya's tenacity and the unexpected strength of Shigaraki—things had gone tits up and the hero world was going to be forever changed. Hawks recalled the conversation he'd just had with Midoriya and how the young heroes face had been ashen and heavy. He didn't know much about the boy aside from their one-time team up, but he was certain that anytime he'd seen him previously, he'd been bright and cheerful. Kid practically seemed to project a sunny energy; the boy he'd just seen was a stark contrast to that. Whatever light Midoriya had radiated prior to the failed raid was either extinguished completely or dramatically dimmed and replaced with something like dark and bitter resolve.

If they didn't manage to stop Shigaraki and All For One—another serious problem since Tartarus had been liberated—what other sparks of light and joy would be snuffed out? The world that they seemed interested in creating was one that seemed solely focused on power and control, which were never good goals. The commission might've been pretending to want what was good for the people while really only being interested in their own personal gain, but at least they weren't dead set on utter destruction and annihilation of those deemed inferior. The commission certainly had its flaws but at the end of the day, they seemed intent to offer some semblance of protection for the everyday person. The goals of the league and the front appeared to be in direct opposition of that; condemn and slaughter the weak—it was a world where only the most powerful could survive and thrive and if you were anything other than that your life was forfeit.

Hero society had a lot of problems—Hawks knew that, probably better than most, but the answer to that problem was not destruction or control and domination. Even when the commission had existed in its previous capacity—a capacity that no longer existed thanks to the current commissioner's very recent death—he'd meant what he said when he wanted to make hero society a place where they had too much time on their hands. If he survived the war to come, he really truly hoped that he could help shape hero society into that.

His fingers brushed over the latch to Mirko's door, hand shaking. Just do it, an inner voice commanded and he at last managed to slide the door open. A mostly dark room lit only by moonlight from the window illuminated the room. Hawks stepped inside and rolled the door close behind him.

The room was silent save for the sound of someone slowly breathing. He could see Mirko thanks to the moonlight, and observed that she was lying on her back, her face twisted slightly to the side while she slept. There was a small bandage on her forehead and one of her long ears was no longer intact. He could see the outline of her legs under the blankets and felt himself gulp as he took in the fact that one of those legs was no longer the same length as its' twin. One arm rested in her lap the other ended in a bandaged stump.

He knew what the fight had cost Mirko, but actually seeing it…was different. A twist of despair shot through him as he took in her broken figure. She'd nearly died down in that awful little gargoyle's dungeon but that hadn't stopped her from giving the high powered nomu's that had gotten in her way a run for their money. She'd been close to ending Shigaraki but that was ultimately not in the cards. Instead, she'd nearly died and had lost the lower half of one of her legs and her entirety of her forearm.

While he felt despair at seeing her incomplete form, he also felt hot rage that she'd been so grievously injured. If only he'd been allowed to attack the stupid hospital; if only he'd been on that strike team, she might be okay. He was fast, faster than even Endeavor and he could've gotten to her before she nearly met her end. Now she was down a leg and an arm.

If only, if only, he thought to himself bitterly. He thought of Twice briefly and felt another stab of anguish rip through him. Why had it gone so horribly, horribly wrong? He'd been so careful and planned everything and it had ended in near complete failure. If only, if only…

"You gonna just stand there and gawk at me or say somethin'?" A husky voice broke him out of his inner spiral.

Hawks blinked the tears he hadn't realized were there from his eyes and looked up to see that Mirko was looking at him with sleepy eyes, apparently having woken sometime after he'd come into the room. She does have excellent hearing, he thought to himself.

"Didn't want to wake you," he said in a voice that sounded gravelly and rough. He could chalk most of that up to the fact that his vocal cords hadn't fully recovered but at least a little bit of that rough sound was because he could feel a lump in his throat.

"Did I hear it right when Edgeshot came by and told me you nearly got your goose cooked?" She asked and struggled to scoot back and up in her bed.

Hawks saw her struggling and rushed forward, hating to see her struggle with something as basic as movement. He was at her side, his hands moving to her shoulders but she shrugged him away and clucked her tongue in annoyance.

"Fuck off. I might be down an arm and a leg but I'm not a complete cripple," she chastised as she continued swatting him away. Hawks reluctantly stepped back before seeing a chair near the bedside that he pulled out and sat in. He watched as she struggled to adjust but at last managed to shift herself so that she was sitting up in the bed. "So what's the plan?"

All Hawks could do was stare at her. What's the plan? She wants to know what the plan is? She nearly died in that goddamn hospital! She lost a fucking arm and a leg and she wants to get back up and into the game? Is she fucking crazy? But…this was Mirko and this was exactly the way she'd react; get back up and into the fight regardless of personal injury.

Clearing his throat and wincing because it hurt to do so, Hawks said, "well first I think you are probably going to need to do some rehab and maybe then you can be back in the game."

Mirko narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance. "Fuck that noise. If you know where the baddies are, bum leg and arm or not, I'm there."

Hawks sighed. Why do I bother? "Well unlucky for you we don't know where they are and we are thinking that it'll be a little bit before they make a move."

"You think? But you don't know. What about the doe eyed Midoriya kid? Edgeshot explained a bit of the shit that's gone down and the fact that apparently All Might and that ugly fucker he fought at Kamino before he retired, are linked somehow? All Might's quirk was I dunno, given or something weird like that to the Midoriya kid? Are there quirks like that? Quirks that can be given? He told me that when I was pretty doped up on morphine, so I could easily be misremembering something," Mirko explained.

"No, that's sort of the gist of it, or enough of it anyway," Hawks said pausing, debating if he wanted to fill her in further. "We, that is, Jeanist, Endeavor, myself and Midoriya are going to go out there to try and smoke out Shigaraki and All For One. All For One's ultimate goal I guess is to take the quirk that All Might handed down to Midoriya so if the kids out running around then well, it's basically bait." Hawks closed his eyes, fearful of the judgement that he'd see on her face. Mirko would not support using a child as bait.

"You're that fuckin' desperate that you're gonna use a pipsqueak of a kid as bait for someone as formidable as that ball sack faced fuck? He almost killed All Might at Kamino and Midoriya is just a kid. Fuck man," Mirko said with a hiss.

Opening his eyes slowly, Hawks nodded. "Yeah. We're desperate. Really desperate. I don't know how much you've seen on the TV, especially since not that much time has passed since all the shit went down but other pros are retiring or quitting in droves. There's not nearly enough of us left. Some of the other schools are talking about using their third-year students to help patrol the streets. We're desperate."

Mirko looked at him with shock. "I knew it was bad but I didn't…shit. But they're just kids and Midoriya, I think he's just a first year. This is fucked. How can you get behind this? Is it the fuckers in the commission? Are they dictating this?" She doesn't know, he thought to himself.

"Rumi," he paused, fearful that she'd react in anger at using her given name but she did not yell or object. "Rumi, the commissioner is dead and there's no clear line of succession so we are operating without any real oversight at this point. Japan's in a state of disaster; it's utter chaos right now. I agree that using a child is…undesirable but that child supposedly houses a quirk that is powerful enough to snuff All For One out of existence. I didn't see him fight when Shigaraki got out…I was burned to a crisp by that point, but the quirk All Might passed to him allows him to use multiple quirks, just like the enemy. I know he's just a kid and it's, well it's fucked up, but that child might be the greatest chance we have at defeating an otherwise undefeatable enemy."

The chuckle that Mirko let out surprised Hawks, making him look at her in surprise. What did she find funny about what he'd just said? As far as he was concerned, nothing about the current situation was funny or remotely laughable.

"Dumb fuckin' bitch finally bit it. Good," her crimson gaze shifted to his golden eyes and he saw the flash of an emotion there that he couldn't identify. "…so you're finally off your leash, eh? Now that the bitch is dead you don't have to do their dirty work anymore? You're free."

Hawks shifted uncomfortably. Free at what cost? The image of Twice's betrayed face popped into his head making him want to let out a sob of regret. Not that he'd really been a fan of being the commission's whipping boy, but the commissioner's death marked further descent into chaos. While the commission's goals could be seen as questionable and self-serving at times, they had mostly strived for good…or at least, that was what he told himself.

"I'm…a free man, yeah," he nodded. No longer beholden to the whims of another but only to his own. "I was…I was doing undercover work for the commission for months. I infiltrated the league for them, at their behest, even pretended to off Jeanist to earn the league's trust. Even delivered his body to them and everything—he knew what was happening—I've been in their custody since I was a kid, like before I could even read or write."

"And that was why you were meeting with that piece of shit, who I hear is actually another kid of Endeavor's. Fucked up family I guess," Mirko said casually. Hawks could only stare at her. How could she be so calm? After everything that had happened, she was acting like the current state of affairs wasn't earth shattering. How was that possible?!

"Yeah. I had to meet with the League often, sometimes out of official meeting places like the Gunga Villa. I…I had to give them a lot of information on different pro heroes…you included," he admitted, his eyes lowered in shame. He waited for her to shout in anger or to slap him but was met with only silence. Nervously, he looked back toward her to see that she was just quietly watching him.

"You expectin' me to hit you or somethin'?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, her tone light.

"I mean, you definitely hit me the last time we talked," Hawks said his voice edged with just a hint of playfulness.

Mirko snorted. "Well last time I saw you I had both my arms—that was a joke," Mirko laughed as she took in the alarmed expression on Hawks' face at her statement. "Last time I wasn't sure what you were doing and I was…I was angry because if you were two timing the heroes well, that was unforgivable and I was ready to kill you but if you were just playing the commissions games…well that still made me mad because it's wrong and you…you aren't a thing to just be used willy nilly. You're your own person and allowing them to use you…pissed me off. You're better than that." Her nose was wrinkled with disgust, eyes narrowed.

'You aren't a thing to just be used willy nilly,' her words echoed in his mind and for the first time since coming to her room, he felt a flicker of something like hope pass through his heart.

"Is that why you kicked and hit me? I honestly thought you might kill me," Hawks said with the tiniest of smirks.

Mirko laughed. "I thought about it…but I didn't think you could actually be a villain; I knew there had to be more to it but I was so blinded by anger and…betrayal…that yeah, I was ready to kill you if my instincts were wrong." Her voice had grown soft and her eyes were downcast.

Guess I was closer to death than I thought, he thought to himself almost smiling at the idea. Dying at the hands of Mirko would be far preferrable to being burned alive at the hands of Endeavor's twisted and hateful child.

"I'm glad you didn't," he said softly and then very slowly and very carefully, reached his hand over toward her and gently rested it on her intact hand.

Mirko's eyes followed the movement and while she shifted briefly, she did not reject it. "I'm…I'm glad too. And even if you don't think it's for the best, I'm glad those fuckers in the commission are dead. They don't own you or anyone. Fuck them."

Hawks watched the angry tilt of Mirko's lips and absently wondered if her disdain for the commission would've eventually landed her in hot water with them. She was far from being their poster child or a hero that they were particularly proud of. Mirko had always resisted control that the commission attempted to exert over her. Would she have become enough of a problem that someone like him would eventually be dispatched to make her disappear? He knew the rumors surrounding Lady Nagant and the whispered real reason why she killed the former commissioner. A trained dog that bit its master had to be put down. Would he have faced a similar fate if he'd resisted such an order and chosen to kill the one who commissioned it? He was glad that he'd never find out…

"They're gone…for better or for worse," he paused briefly and felt another stab of sadness at her broken state. "I'm so sorry for what happened to you…for all of it. I wish that I could've been there on the hospital strike team with you. Things might've gone differently then."

"I probably woulda lost the arm anyway. Possibly I might not have lost my foot but eh, who knows. It sucks sure, but now I get to have some badass prosthetic limbs that can pack an even more devastating punch or kick then I could before!" Mirko exclaimed her face bright and excited. "It was pretty fucked down there, so even if you'd been there it woulda still gone to shit. Wish I coulda bagged and tagged that freak Shigaraki, though."

"I'm just glad you came out of it alive," admitted Hawks with a heavy sigh. When he'd learned of her state, he'd been devastated for her. He'd desperately wanted to mourn her lost limbs and go to her but duty was more important than that. Even though his heart had ached he'd maintained his composure from the moment that Jeanist had first come to him in the hospital. The more time he spent with Jeanist and then Endeavor the easier it became to stay away from Mirko; the easier it was to push down the grief…but now it was palpable; now he could finally face it.

"S-sorry, sorry that I punched you when you said that you…love me. I was surprised and angry and just…sad." Mirko's voice was soft, tender even which Keigo was shocked by.

What were you sad about? Duh, idiot, she was sad that you were creeping around playing spy and being the commission's little bitch, a snide inner voice answered. But…was there more to her sadness than what she'd said? Was he just hoping that there was more to it?

"Think your wings will grow back—" she started but Hawks spoke at the same time, interrupting her.

"Why were you sad by what I said?" He blurted out regretting asking such a thing while also desperately hoping that there was something deeper to her sadness.

Mirko was silent in response and tilted her head to the side, eyeing him carefully. Mistake. Shouldn't have asked. "Sorry…stupid question. Uh, don't know about my wings. Dabi burnt them away entirely. They've started growing back but barely. It's more like they're little chicken wings right now." Hawks attempted to make his tone light and casual but considering the fact that his voice was still gravelly and scratchy, it more so came off as sad and deflated.

"Sorry about your wings. I imagine they'll grow back to some extent; you'll fly again." Hawks felt her move her hand so that she was holding his. He looked down at their hands and up at her curiously.

"Wha—"

"I was sad because, ugh, are you really gonna make me fucking say it? Fuck, I was sad for a lot of reasons but I was sad when you said that shit to me because…because I…fucking love you too, you stupid idiot." Mirko sighed dramatically and looked away, a frown on her face.

Despite all the turmoil and regret that he felt over having to kill Twice and the pain from his burns and the anguish over the raid going so horribly wrong and Mirko's loss of limbs, a small joy blossomed in his belly at her words. She loves me too. He couldn't help the ear-to-ear grin that broke out on his face.

"You really do?!" He asked his voice high and excited despite its gravelly, damaged undertone.

"Stop smiling like that; you look like a fuckin' weirdo. And I said I did, didn't I? Have you ever known me to lie? Now, ergh, fuck off," she snapped though she made no move to move her hand from his.

"Rumi—" he started but stopped when Mirko whipped her head toward him and frowned.

"I mean we're both cripples now so we gotta stick together, right? Wingless dipshit that you are."

Hawks could only smile. "Wingless with armless and legless—sounds like a winning pair to me."

Mirko sighed again and pulled her hand from his. "Okay enough of this mushy shit. Go out and flush out those ugly motherfuckers so that I can kick and punch them to death."

Hawks slowly stood up and nodded toward her. "I can do that."

"And don't get the kid killed," she added with a frown.

"I'll—we'll do our best to keep him safe," he agreed and turned to leave but stopped and turned back toward Mirko.

"What the fuck are you—" she started but Hawks was suddenly in her face and kissing her. His hands coiled into her messy shortened hair, caressing up to her damaged ear and down along her face. She was heaven that he had long missed. He felt Mirko's hand touch his cheek in a surprisingly tender gesture. His hands moved down along her shoulders and tugged her toward him; she did not resist but rather seemed to lean into the movement.

Hawks felt hot tears of joy mixed with sorrow spring to his eyes. He didn't care if he wept and she saw it; he'd had so much sorrow since he'd killed Twice that full crying would be like a quenching rain during a drought. He loved the woman he held and she'd had very nearly died and so had he and it was likely that in the coming days and the upcoming battle, that either of them might die. Even if they came out as winners, the emotional fallout of the events during the raid would still weigh heavy on Keigo's heart. He knew there was no escaping that painful truth…

…but at least right now, in this moment and hopefully in the future, he had Mirko; his Rumi and she loved him just like he loved her. The future might be bleak and their path muddy and uncertain, but he felt like he could more easily face that uncertain future knowing that he had her.

A bite on his lip startled him out of his thoughts and he pulled away. "Ouch!"

"Gotta keep make out sessions short birdbrain; the doomsday clock is ticking—now get out there and do some good," she said with a wink.

Hawks smiled at her as he brushed a few tears from his eyes. He felt his heart surge with even more joy when he saw no judgement in Mirko's gaze at him crying. "Okay."

"And don't get killed shit for brains…because I do love you," she said with a smirk.

He couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips at her words. "I love you t—"

"Shut the fuck up and get to work!"

Smiling, Keigo nodded, gave a little bow and left Mirko's room.