Una Mattina - You or Nothing

Chapter 4: Follow Up

Ji Hoo laid in bed at half past midnight, and yet for the first time, he felt not even an ounce of tiredness coming over him. Sleep usually came easily for him, no matter what mood he was in.

This time, however, despite regularly going out with Woo Bin and distracting himself with his work, he couldn't stop thinking about a certain conversation.

You said you were alone. That I would understand.

It's not…good, to feel alone.

Ji Hoo suddenly let out a sharp sigh at the memory. Her words were simple, but it pierced him in some way. He had reacted harshly after she'd said those things, which surprised him. He usually kept his emotions in check and thought before he spoke.

Now, he realized that he must've hurt his patient's feelings.

Ji Hoo turned to his other side on the bed. Did he care? He wasn't sure. He never really bothered caring for others much anymore; after all, based on his track record, it didn't really do him much good.

He remembered Ha Neul's face after he'd spoken. Her mouth was agape, and in her wide, chocolate brown eyes was a pain he was familiar with.

It had been already a few days since that conversation, and he was due to check up on her in the morning.

Should I apologize?

"Damn it," he whispered to himself while roughly turning on his bed again, forcing his eyes shut. He just wanted to sleep, but all he could see behind his closed lids was Park Ha Neul's pained expression.

Ha Neul sat motionless inside her filled bathtub for what seemed to be hours.

It was her first full bath since the…incident. She thought the wound would hurt more underwater, but the outer skin had already begun to heal, and water turned out to be soothing. Once Dr. Yoon had taken care of the infection, the pain was nothing but a dull pain.

To be honest, Ha Neul thought it would be worse.

Ha Neul closed her eyes and let herself sink deeper in the tub until the water level reached her forehead. She didn't bother sucking in a deep breath. Instead, she let her mind wander to a certain face with a perpetually sorrowful expression. From the back of her eyelids, she could picture his neatly cropped auburn hair, his slightly crooked nose, and his thin lips that were always curved into a neutral frown.

He said he didn't care about her. That was fair. She was more surprised than anything else to hear someone say it out loud, instead of keeping ill will behind a fraudulent kindness, as she was used to.

Suddenly, the face she was imagining morphed into someone else's. The auburn hair turned jet black and lengthened to his shoulders. His eyes became wider. And finally, his lips—they turned thicker, and smiled to show a set of dazzling, slightly crooked teeth. It definitely wasn't the doctor anymore, it was—

Ha Neul suddenly opened her eyes, accidentally sucking in a breath underwater. She immediately sat back up and coughed for several minutes, until she could finally breathe properly.

"Why?" she whispered, feeling tears form in the corners of her eyes. "Why did I have to think about you again?"

Even though she tried not to, Ha Neul eventually gave in to her tears, until she sobbed uncontrollably. While the wound barely hurt anymore, a different internal pain reverberated within her chest.

She desperately wished she felt the pain from the wound instead.

Ji Hoo was standing in front of the counter at a nearby bakery at ten in the morning, browsing the cakes they had available. He barely noticed the ladies behind the counter whispering amongst themselves, either recognizing him, or fawning over his looks.

He was never very fond of sweets, but he'd noticed girls found them to be touching gifts. He remembered the first time he offered some chocolate to Jan Di, and how unbelievably ecstatic she'd been receiving such a simple gift.

Ji Hoo smiled to himself, despite the dull pain of the memory.

"Have you picked a cake, sir?" one of the ladies said. "Not that I'm pressuring you to choose one soon, of course. You can take all the time you need."

"Hmm." Ji Hoo pointed at the cute carrot cake in the second row. "Is it possible to add a short message on this one?"

"Of course!" The second lady assured him, already pulling out the cake from the display. "What would you like the message to say?"

Ji Hoo shot them a full smile, which momentarily left them dazed. "I'd like it to say…'Get well soon'."

Ji Hoo rang the doorbell once, to no avail. After a few more tries, he resorted to knocking. Still nothing. He pressed his ear up to the door, trying to determine any signs of life within the house, but he heard nothing. Not even from Haru.

Perhaps she left the house? Ji Hoo sighed. In his prescription, he'd advised house rest for at least a couple of weeks, but he was aware patients didn't always follow his professional advice to a T.

He turned around and had already begun to walk towards his house when he had a worrying thought. What if Ha Neul didn't answer the door because she couldn't? What if the wound's infection had spread, and her health took a turn for the worse? Ha Neul never contacted him, despite him giving his personal number on the note by the door.

But Ji Hoo had no means to call her to check.

"Fuck," he muttered, turning back towards the door, and knocking again. "Ha Neul! Park Ha Neul! Ha—"

He'd tried to turn the doorknob and was taken aback when it easily opened. Ji Hoo hesitated for only a few moments before deciding to step inside.

Ji Hoo looked around, looking for any sign of the woman. The open and welcoming space within the house was as spotless as it had been the last time and had a similar interior design to his own house. While Ji Hoo's house was much larger, there were less walls within Ha Neul's house, which made the illusion it was bigger than it actually was.

A few lights were on, which meant she could be home. He searched the kitchen and the sitting room for her, but she wasn't there. "Park Ha Neul? It's me. Are you home?"

Ji Hoo turned a corner and found the narrow wooden stairs. He pursed his lips as he looked at the floor above for any sign of movement. "Ha Neul?" he called out, walking gingerly up the stairs.

It was the first time he got a glimpse of the second floor, and while the hallway was narrow, it led to several rooms. But what caught his eye the most was the one room left ajar—a music room. While he was frozen in place outside, he caught a glimpse of a white baby grand against the adjacent wall. Handwritten musical pieces were scattered on the piano stand and around the floor. There were also music books stacked rather messily on the shelf, and he recognized several of the composers.

Ji Hoo hadn't touched a piano or violin in more than a year, but his heart twisted as soon as he saw the instrument.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a very loud bark. Ji Hoo swiftly turned to the sound and was greeted by an enthusiastic Haru, who jumped up at him to lick his hands. He instinctively petted the dog and noticed that his fur was slightly damp.

"Must you always bark––"

That was when Ji Hoo realized that Haru had come from the bathroom, and that he didn't come out alone. Ha Neul stood there, frozen in place a few steps from the doorway, clad in nothing but a light pink bathrobe. While it was tied around her waist and covered most of her skin, the parting in the middle cut very deep down her chest. Most of her hair was wrapped up with a matching towel, but a few damp strays framed the sides of her face.

Her face…He'd expected her to be mortified, as women usually did when getting caught in such a situation. But while she looked extremely surprised to find him in her home, there was a hint of curiosity in her expression.

"Dr. Yoon?" she said slowly, her posture frozen and awkward.

"I apologize," he began immediately, bowing slightly. "Your door was unlocked, and you weren't answering the door. I thought…I thought something might've happened to you."

"I was in a bath," she explained, gesturing towards the open bathroom door behind her. "Haru usually accompanies me in there. He's quite clingy."

"I see."

She began to adjust the folds of her robe, covering up her bare chest. Ji Hoo scratched the side of his head and began to fidget in the awkward silence, his eyes darting towards anything in the room apart from her.

"As you can see, I'm perfectly fine," she sighed, gesturing vaguely towards her body. "I think the top part of my wound is mostly healed. I barely feel anything anymore. Would you like to check it?"

Ji Hoo widened his eyes. "Yes, of course. Would you like to––erm, get ready first?"

To his surprise, Ha Neul mildly smirked. "I think it's more convenient with the robe, so you could see it easily. Don't you agree?"

"I––Yes, I suppose."

"Cool," Ha Neul said. She then took a look at his hands and had a curious look on her pale, bare face. "What do you have there?"

Ji Hoo almost forgot that he was carrying some things: the medicine kit and the carrot cake. He hesitated before taking the cake in his other hand and approaching her slowly. When Ji Hoo was two feet in front of her, he handed over the box.

"It's my apology," he said flatly. "I said some things back then that…weren't very nice."

Slowly, Ha Neul's eyes widened with understanding, staring at the cake in her hands. The top of the box was transparent, and as she read the words in icing, her lips curved into a wide smile. "Dr. Yoon…You got this for me?"

"Yes." Ji Hoo nodded.

Ha Neul stared at the cake a bit more before finally looking up at him. "Shall we head down?"

He smiled back at her and nodded again. As they made their way downstairs, Ji Hoo took one last glimpse at her music room, feeling the strange twisting in his chest again.

Ha Neul decided on the sitting room this time instead of the kitchen counter. She gestured for Ji Hoo to sit down next to her on the white couch and placed the cake slowly down on the coffee table. She also reached for a remote and pressed a button, which promptly played music from the speakers by the television set.

Ji Hoo was zipping his kit open when he heard the music turn on. Upon recognizing the song, he paused and said, "Verdi?"

Ha Neul smiled. "You're a man of culture."

He chuckled lightly before pulling out a new bandage. He moved closer to where she was seated and awkwardly pointed towards her robe. "May I?"

"Of course." Ha Neul loosened her robe belt and folded the left side to her back, revealing the wound. "Like I said, it's looking good. I don't even need the sling anymore."

"You're a fast healer, Ms. Park Ha Neul," Ji Hoo said, looking relieved. "But let's put a bandage on it just in case."

"You play the piano too, right?" she asked suddenly as he worked. "I saw you eyeing the one I have in the music room."

Ji Hoo hesitated, but eventually nodded in confirmation.

"I don't mean to sound like a stalker, of course." She coughed. "My friends used to be obsessed with the F4."

"So you have friends?"

Ha Neul tilted her head. "Kind of."

"Interesting."

"Why?"

Ji Hoo sighed and leaned back, finally finished with the new bandage. "You said you were alone and lonely, just like me. Or were you just saying that to make me feel better?"

She shimmied to put the robe back on properly, lightly touching the new bandage. "I didn't lie. Don't you have friends?"

He narrowed his eyes and thought about it for a moment. Eventually, he conceded, saying, "Kind of."

She chuckled once.

"How did your friends hear about the F4?" Ji Hoo asked, deciding to try to make conversation.

"Some of my friends graduated from Shinhwa," she explained. "But your group's pretty famous in social media as well. There was a time I couldn't scroll past three posts without seeing one of your faces."

"Must've been a nuisance. I'm sorry for that."

Ha Neul laughed at his response. She then nodded towards the cake on the table. "Take a slice with me, Dr. Yoon."

A pause. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, doc," she assured him, already standing up to get some plates. "It'd be nice to eat together, as neighbors this time."

"Ha Neul," he suddenly called her when she was already in the kitchen.

She turned around slightly to face him.

He suddenly smiled, showcasing a perfect set of white teeth. It made Ha Neul catch her breath, seeing that sort of smile from him for the first time. "Since we're being friendly neighbors, you can drop the formalities and call me Ji Hoo."

"Ji Hoo," she repeated to herself softly. "Okay."

Woo Bin was uncomfortable, which didn't happen often. That's because he was sitting across a man who could make anyone uncomfortable without speaking a word––his father.

Song Ji Min––or King Song, as he was usually called in the streets––had a stern look on his face as he sat on his home office desk, sipping a glass of wine. There were two guards in suits on each of his sides with their arms crossed, staring blankly at the wall in front of them, but they didn't look nearly as menacing as the short, stout man they were working for.

Woo Bin adjusted his leather jacket, fidgeting in the silence.

"You know why I called you here today, don't you?" his father asked in a coarse voice.

"Nope."

"I have no time for your games, boy. Tell me, what exactly went through your head when you decided to punch the living lights out of that foreman?"

"I was doing what was right," Woo Bin said firmly, sitting up straighter. "It's how we've always dealt with things."

His father suddenly slammed his free fist on the table, causing him to jump. "It's how you deal with things! You have grown arrogant and thickheaded, and I only have myself to blame because I never made you deal with the consequences. Have you forgotten that you are now the face of Il-Sim? You can't act like one of our thugs anymore! You delegate these things!"

"Il-Sim is where it is today because of power and respect, especially in the underground," Woo Bin said as calmly as he could. "If I cower behind my own people to do the work for me, what kind of leader would that make me?"

The elder Song took a deep breath, as if to calm himself before speaking. "And if you pick petty fights with men who aren't even on your level, wouldn't that make you a bullheaded, irascible leader? Do you think that would earn respect?"

"Yes," Woo Bin asserted. "That's exactly the statement I was trying to go for. That we do everything to protect our people."

There was silence for a few moments. Even the guards on King Song's sides looked nervous at the exchange. Eventually, the elder Song leaned back on his chair and sighed deeply once again. "And if news spreads of your involvement in this beating? Have you forgotten that Il-Sim is, first and foremost, a legal enterprise?"

At that, Woo Bin was silent.

"You have a fiery passion, my son," King Song continued. "I have always admired that about you, and it's part of why I believed it was time for you to step up. But being the head of this company is not just about passion and beating people who do you wrong anymore. There's more at stake this time."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Pick your battles," his father answered. "Let your people fight for you when you can't. Not every internal problem is deserving of a massive statement."

Woo Bin sighed, conceding. "I'll keep that in mind. Can I take my leave now?"

He didn't wait for his father's approval before standing up and heading towards the large double doors of his office. Before he could push them open, however, his father suddenly said, "How old are you now?"

"Not again," Woo Bin muttered to himself, already knowing where this is going.

"You'll need to get married soon, Woo Bin. Produce an heir for the Song family. You can't play games forever."

Watch me, he wanted to say, but instead, he chose to walk wordlessly out the doors.

Woo Bin was in the backseat of his car and on the way back to his house when his personal phone began to ring. He tilted his head curiously at the familiar caller ID.

"Hello?" he said upon picking it up. "Myeong?"

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"About what?"

"The double date, idiot," Myeong reminded him, sounding genuinely miffed. "You said you were going to call for more details after a couple of weeks."

Woo Bin widened his eyes, finally remembering. "Oh––Fuck, I'm an idiot. Is your friend free already?"

"Yeah, I finally caught up to her today. She really wasn't into it at first, but you know me. I can be very persuasive."

"That's my girl," Woo Bin said, feeling lighter already from the earlier encounter he had. "Hmm…How does Saturday night sound? At the Sun Garden, maybe?"

"Too crowded. My friend's fussy about that."

"I could always rent out the place," Woo Bin shrugged.

"Hmm. What about that new rooftop bar uptown? It's classier, and you wouldn't have to rent it out. I heard Yi Rim plays there sometimes, too."

Woo Bin was about to say he had no plans to go stingy for this date but decided to bite his tongue. "Sure, I know the place."

"I'm already fucking excited to meet the Yoon Ji Hoo. See you."

"See you," Woo Bin sighed, setting his phone down. He checked the time and pursed his lips. It was eight in the evening. Ji Hoo was probably still at the hospital.

"Hey," he said, calling his driver's attention. "Head to the Yoon Family Hospital, will you?"

"Right away, sir," the driver acknowledged, promptly making a U-turn on the road.

"You seem to be in a good mood, Dr. Yoon," Dr. Cha noticed, catching up with her colleague on the hallway.

Ji Hoo shimmied out of his white coat and hung it over the satchel on his side. "It was a good day."

The blond doctor smiled next to him, but he wasn't looking at her. "Got any plans for tonight?" she asked sheepishly.

Ji Hoo slowed his pace as they turned the corner. "Yes," he said, facing her with a straight face. "I'm going home."

"O-Oh," Dr. Cha reacted softly, staying behind. "Have a safe trip home then, doctor."

"Yoon Ji Hoo!"

Ji Hoo was startled at the familiar voice coming from the front doors of the hospital. Song Woo Bin was already surrounded by fawning nurses and hospital visitors, who were taking photos and calling for his attention. Unlike himself, Woo Bin had never shown discomfort in crowds of girls, and that clearly didn't change. He casually posed for a camera, and even shook hands with elderly fans who recognized him.

Shaking his head, Ji Hoo slowly approached his friend. "Woo Bin. What are you doing here?"

Woo Bin excused himself and waved off the crowd politely. As soon as they dispersed, he approached Ji Hoo and gave him a quick side hug. "Thought I might drop by to pick you up, maybe grab a drink somewhere."

"You didn't leave me a message," Ji Hoo said flatly. "I'm a bit tired."

Woo Bin pursed his lips, nodding slowly. "Maybe a quick chat then. Come, let's talk outside."

The two men proceeded to walk outside. As they reached the parking lot, Woo Bin pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

"As a doctor, I feel obligated to tell you those are bad for you," Ji Hoo deadpanned.

"Much appreciated," Woo Bin mumbled as he lit his cigarette.

Ji Hoo leaned against his nearby parked bike. "What did you want to talk about?"

His friend took his time in taking a drag. Once he finished, he looked both apologetic and hesitant. "Listen, do you remember our conversation back at the shooting range?"

"I…suppose."

"I meant the part where you basically agreed to take a page from me," Woo Bin said slowly. "To see other people."

Ji Hoo widened his eyes. "I didn't verbally agree to that."

"You didn't disagree either," Woo Bin pushed. "I have a date set for you on Saturday."

"Date?" It had been a while since Ji Hoo was this startled, which greatly amused Woo Bin. "With whom?"

"It's a blind date," Woo Bin said slowly. "But hey––I know her personally. She's a great girl."

That just made Ji Hoo turn paler. "No."

"I knew you'd say that," Woo Bin sighed. "Which is why I planned ahead. It's a double date. I'll be right there with you."

"Come on, Woo Bin, don't you think it's a bit soon?"

"A bit soon?" Woo Bin repeated incredulously. "And how long have you been single again?"

Ji Hoo opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he couldn't form a coherent answer. "That's not the point."

"My man, I say this with love," Woo Bin said slowly. "That's precisely the point. We need to get you out of that house and meet a new, lovely girl."

For some reason, the image of Park Ha Neul eating a slice of carrot cake by his side emerged in his mind. "You're not going to quit on this, are you?"

"Nope," Woo Bin responded in English, popping the 'p'.

Ji Hoo sighed and turned around, picking up his helmet. "And you'll be there?"

Woo Bin's smile slowly emerged. "Definitely. It's all casual, I promise. All fun."

"Text me the details," Ji Hoo finally conceded. "I'll see you there."

"Yes!" Woo Bin exclaimed with an exaggerated fist to the sky. He waved as Ji Hoo sped out of the parking lot, shouting, "You won't regret this, man!"

We're five minutes away, Myeong's text said.

Woo Bin smiled, leaning back against the lush, cushioned chair. He looked around him, deciding his friend was right to choose this venue. Zion's rooftop bar was new in town, but it was chic and sophisticated, making it an already-popular venue for the upper class in the city. Woo Bin chose an exclusive al fresco table that overlooked the city skyline.

Ji Hoo was leaning on the balustrade, sipping a glass of prosecco. "You've outdone yourself, Woo Bin. The view's exquisite."

"Save it for your date," Woo Bin chuckled, standing up from his seat abruptly. "I'll receive them downstairs. Sit pretty for me, will you?"

Ji Hoo only nodded vaguely in response, not looking away from the view.

Woo Bin made his way back into the interior of the bar and towards the elevators. Despite having gone on more dates that he could count, he'd always look forward to the blind ones. They usually turned out to be the most interesting. Once he stepped inside the elevator, he adjusted the collar of dark suit and brushed a few stray hairs around his forehead.

He instantly recognized Myeong's figure when he reached the large lobby. The up-and-coming model-slash-singer looked as beautiful as ever, leaning against the opposite wall. She wore sequined minidress paired with an expensive fur coat, and her long legs were platformed by a set of glittered stilettos.

His eyes darted towards the woman next to her––instantly, he realized Myeong's description of her was more than accurate. Her dark brown hair was long and wavy, reaching up to her waist. While her dress was a bit more conservative than Myeong's––a long-sleeved ruffled top paired with a short skirt––it accentuated a lovely, curvy figure, which was exactly his type.

When Myeong spotted and greeted him with a wave, the brunette turned around, and Woo Bin was more than smitten by her face. She had wide, chocolate brown eyes that matched the color of her hair, and her plump lips was in a curious smile as she regarded him.

"Don't you look dashing," Myeong commented, greeting Woo Bin with a kiss on one cheek. "And where's my lovely date? Don't tell me he ran out already."

"He's upstairs, let me take you to him," Woo Bin said. Turning to her companion, he reached out a hand. "Shall we?"

The brunette smiled softly and took it. Her hand was small and soft within his.

"Have you been here before?" Woo Bin asked conversationally in the elevator.

"Once," the woman responded, smiling politely. "It wasn't all that fun."

"Because she left early," Myeong chimed in. "I told you, she's a bit shy, but she loosens up after a few drinks. Don't you, babe?"

"We'll see," she shrugged.

Upon reaching the rooftop, Woo Bin led them slowly through the small crowd until they reached the overlooking balcony. Ji Hoo seemed to not have moved an inch from his previous position, still sipping his wine and watching the city lights.

"Hey, Yoon Ji Hoo!" he called his friend over. "We have company."

"Yoon Ji Hoo?" the woman next to him repeated to herself. When he turned to look at her face, it had turned into a mortified expression. "No––It can't be––"

At the same time, Ji Hoo turned around from his position in the balcony, facing them. There was a polite smile on his lips as he regarded them, but when they reached the woman next to him, it instantly disappeared. Before he was able to react, however, Myeong was already by his side.

"Ji Hoo," she greeted him, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek. "It's great to finally meet you. I'm Myeong."

Ji Hoo didn't even look at Myeong as she spoke and was instead focused on the other woman with them. "You," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Wait," Woo Bin said slowly, his fingers slipping slightly from her hand. "What?"

Myeong looked at them back and forth, before deciding to face Woo Bin to say, "I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce my friend here. This is Park Ha Neul. Park Ha Neul, meet Song Woo Bin, and Yoon Ji Hoo. They're members of the F4, the ones I've been telling you about before. Surprise!"