XXXI

Nunquam Amavit

To Kouga's lasting surprise, Kagome steps forward and hugs him tightly. When she steps back her eyes are bright and she is smiling again; her mood has completely flipped, and though he doesn't know it, it is because of his words. More than anything in the world Kagome wants to be useful – to be in the right place, at the right time; to be needed by someone, someone she can actually help.

She doesn't like the idea of killing, but she can accept it when it is Kouga; he is youkai, after all – and more than that, he is a wolf, protecting his pack as no one else can. To do the killing herself – she doesn't like to think of it. She doesn't like to remember it. For her, the moment in which she had come out running from the den, hearing the sound of battle, the whimpering of the pups in dark, private chambers – it was a blur that became a blazing light, just as the moments after she fell bleeding to the ground beside the well have become a blur to her, and that same light.

She knows now it is her own power – she knew even while she was running out of Kouga's room, was driven by some deeper instinct than mere knowledge to go outside, to bare her soul at the attacking beasts. Still – still. She does not intend to kill unless she must, to protect another life – but within herself the knowledge firms that she might have to, and that she must not shy away.

This is not her world, but it might as well be; she knows no way to return to her own time and place. Unless something changes, she will be here for the rest of her life, and though there is a certain trembling within her at that thought – that she might never see her family again, that the world she came from might be forever closed to her – she is resolved on what she must do; on what is the right thing.

She meets Kouga's gaze squarely, and when she speaks her voice is steady.

"Are we going to leave now, Kouga?"

"No; not now. There's work to be done here, and healing. If that many of them attacked there must be a damned legion of the things wherever they came from; it wouldn't do any good for us to go by ourselves. I'll bring the guard with me, the fighters of the pack – we'll take them out, destroy them before they have a chance to come back in greater numbers and try to kill us again."

His eyes are hard.

"I don't want fighting near the pups and breeding females; not if I can help it. We'll take the fight to the harpies, and teach them what it means to trespass against the wolf Alpha!

Kagome nods and tightens her fist, tries to prepare herself even though she has only the faintest idea of what's coming.

"All right! We'll do it, Kouga! I'll do everything I can to help!"

"Good. Are you feeling better now? You can stand on your own?"

Kagome flushes and almost jumps back from him, wraps her hands tightly around each other and looks anywhere but at Kouga's face.

"Yes! Yes, I'm – fine, now. Sorry, I – I'm sorry I've been so much trouble."

Kouga only laughs and shakes his head.

"Trouble, she says. Ha!"

A rustle of wind announce his departure, and in the next moment Kagome sees him down at ground level, moving among the bodies of his defeated foes, waving at Ginta and Hakkaku to get their attention. She can't hear what he's saying, but she grins just because of the expression on his face. One minute Kouga is serious, stone-faced – the next he's lapping up praise like a puppy, and his smile is the brightest thing she's every seen.

"You should be careful, Kagome-san. Very careful...with our Alpha. It could be dangerous not to – dangerous for him...and more dangerous for you."

Kagome turns and faces Kameko, who has spoken. The low rumble of her voice is not threatening; her eyes are closed, and despite her size the expression on the great wolf's face is...peaceful. Content.

Kagome takes one step toward her and then stops, hesitant to test – to trust – she doesn't know what kind of power Kouga has over his wolves, after all. The pups are one thing, but...but...

"Yes, you should be afraid of me, Kagome-san. You should be afraid...because you are human, and miko, and I have been around long enough than to trust your intentions – even now. You are a strange one...but I could still crush your head in my jaws like an unpeeled grape."

"Ah – I – Kameko-san – I don't -"

Kameko laughs, a low, grumbling sound.

"Don't worry, little miko. As long as you have our Alpha's protection, as long as his scent marks you as his woman, you are safe. Safe from me – safe from the back. But he has never been in love before; he has never shown an interest in a female, human or wolf. Those who he might have chosen from among us long ago gave up trying; and I wonder, what is it about you that has set his heart beating with heat?"

Kagome flushes bright, shining red and tries to stutter a denial, but Kameko will have none of that.

"It is love; not human love, but the love of a wolf – sharper, stronger, darker. Do not play games with him; do not be coy. Make your choice and stick by it, or when the day comes that you are no longer his, I will take pack vengeance myself."

Kagome swallows thickly, and squeezes her hands into tighter fists.

"I...Kameko-san, I barely know Kouga. But he's been good to me, and I do – I do like him. I wouldn't ever hurt him -"

"You might without trying; you are only human after all."

A/N: And there we have it! Today's chapter, another bout of catch-up completed...I am really very sorry, I'm not good at this daily update thing am I? Phoo. Ah well, I'm going to keep going while the going's good and hopefully get a few chapters ahead, so I can not be such a fwoom! I thank my reviewers, and offer a translation: "Nunquam Amavit" means "never loved"...obvious reference there! Coming Soon: Things Begin To Happen; A Hunt For Harpies; and...He Who Wakes, and She Who Woke Him. HINTS MY DEARS! HINTS!

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