(trigger warning: attempted suicide is in this chapter)
My next facility to expand and fill with dangerous monsters was run by the training team run by hod…originally known as michelle. She was the one who called the head and brought an end to the experiment…she's probably still guilt ridden because of that call she made. While it's true that she was the one that brought that fucking arbiter to the lab. I can't really hate her. I was planning to end it by killing ayin. And she was a kid. Therefore naive. She didn't know how the head handled things. I think she expected to come and arrest ayin. She didn't think they'd send an arbiter to kill everyone. The guilt made her take her own life. And that guilt is most likely still there. Which is why i need to soothe that guilt and give her the hope to be a better person.
This is the first time that I can expand not one but two facilities. The other was the safety team. Run by the sephirah netzach. Formally known as giovani. Carmen's childhood friend. He joined after carmen's death. Hoping that with his help they can bring her back…unfortunately he just died the same way that enoch did. This shows with how nihilistic he's become and the fact that he constantly gets drunk or high on enkephalin just to leave this awful reality. Didn't know that was possible with these boxes their brains have been shoved in. but i guess it's up to me to give him the push to keep on living and look towards the future.
Before I go into the details on the new abnormalities, I'll point out two things that caught my attention. One i noticed that my ai assistant angela. Has been keeping her eyes open now. Not sure why she had them closed before. So that's a joyful detail. The other…is creepy. When i'm walking through the halls i see what looks like an eyeball filled with hate and a body made of shadow staring at me. Before quickly disappearing…creepy. But i just brushed it off as one of the abnormalities fucking with me.
Speaking of creepy. That's a good fit for the abnormalities put on the training team floor. The first one was today's shy look a red humanoid that wears a skin mask face to show his expression. The success rate depends on what face the red and brown freak is standing behind. The next one was the red shoes. Well have you ever seen the movie teeth? These shoes are basically that except with feet instead of…you know. Also the one who puts on the shoes. Get possessed much like the victims of the singing machine. I got this one to behave by giving them to a rat who was hoping to save up her organ money for a nice pair of shoes. So i figured why not give her a nice pair of shoes. They were perfect for each other. As the rat in questions main weapon for killing and harvesting was an axe. And she was quite beautiful for a rat. And considering the one enchanted with the shoes get a shiny new axe with their shiny new pair of shoes at the price of having your mind taken over. A match made in hell i say. But at least it's not my employees.
The next two were probably the first two times i had to fire up the tt2 system. As spider bud. An abnormality that was a big ass spider wrapped up the employee I sent was killed and wrapped up. The second being laetitia. A doll abnormality. As the employee sent first to study her…just exploded. Yeah it turned out laetitia was a possessive kind of doll. If the one person she bonded with doesn't show up for a while. It'll kill them. Possessive much? Anyway lesson learned. After rewinding a bit. I made sure that the employee i sent was the one laetitia gave her gift too and no one else. As for spider bud. I gave the employee a suit of armor that produced flames. Spider's even a spider abnormality like spider bud are afraid of fire. So no way in hell will it try to make a snack out of someone wearing armor that produced it.
As for the safety team apartment…how fitting for the drug addicted sephirah to have abnormalities that make you feel like you're high. First off was the fragment of the universe. Which looked like a creature straight out of the black space from the mind of a depressed guilt ridden teenager who escapes the painfulness of reality through dreams of being a kid again.
And speaking of a child. The next abnormality is the child of the universe. A kid whose entire body looks like space and is constantly sad and crying. So a depressing kind of trip. The next abnormality in our safety team drug trip is porccubus. A long plant flower abnormality that looks like it came straight from a kid's cartoon. Something you'd see on things like nick jr or disney playhouse. But when you see what happens to those who get pricked by it. Then it quickly becomes a lost episode horror story. As those who get pricked by it's thorns will laugh uncontrollably and their heads explode. To make matters worse. The only thing that remains of the victims head as a big smile. And the last one is another fucking doll. This time a big pink llama named alriune. It's body covered in flowers. Those who get killed by the thing become another flower garden…beautiful…yet disturbing.
Dealt with the abnormalities now it's time for some meltdowns.
I found netzach pumping himself full of enkephalin. I knew that much would kill him so i slapped it out of his metal hand.
"Any more of that. And it'll kill you. Stop!" i yelled.
"Maybe that's what i want jon…not everyone is like you. Some of us don't desperately cling to life. Some of us welcome death…i don't want to be here man…i just want the pain and suffering to end…and if this is the only way out so be it…why am i telling you this? You wouldn't understand. If i open my eyes again. Maybe it won't be in a place with you the sephirah or that angela survivor…it hasn't been fun, let's never meet again." netzach said as his body split open and black tendrils bursted out. It was time for another meltdown. This time fitting for netzach. I the facility hit with a wave that made me and everyone feel like they were utterly drunk. It was the same before. Fill the quota with this handicap. And soon i found netzach on the floor. When i touched him. Another flashback occurred. But it was different. Me and giovanni didn't talk. Rather this flashback was after the arbiter attack. I returned home..feeling depressed like an utter failure. I was sitting on the floor. Listening to forgiven by within temptation…tears going down my face. I grabbed any gun i could find. And put it to my head only to get an empty click. I threw it on the ground in anger.
"Come on! One of these damn things has to be loaded!" i yelled as i threw the gun. I reached for my mom's old rifle back when she worked for the thumb. Being an m1 garand i could see the bullets in it's clip and i knew it was loaded. So i put it to my head. Before i could pull the trigger. My dad came in and kicked out of my hand.
"What the hell are you doing jon!?" my dad yelled. Utterly angry. I know now that he was scared…his son just tried to take his own life. My response was to wrap my arms around my knees.
"I failed…i failed everyone…elijah gabriel giovanni michelle…enoch…lisa…daniel…kali…i have this power! And yet I couldn't save any of them! Why dad…why am i the only one to survive!? Why…why am i alive when their dead!?" i yelled. My dad looked sad and scared…to see first hand the survivor's guilt I was going through at the time. The flashback ended.
"Guess you had your own problems…tell me. If you wanted to die so much then? Why are you standing here now. The same confident guy when you first entered the lab?" netzach asked.
"You saw why…the same reason why i can go through the city and not surrender to the vices that claimed so many others…i'm not alone…even after what happened at the old lab..i'm not alone. My parents pushed me to keep living. And i soon came to realize..that taking my own life. I would put the burden i suffered on them…they helped me heal…the same goes for you giovanni. I know what you went through hurt…i know losing your childhood friend hurt. But this is not the way to handle it. It may not seem like it. But the other sephirah and angela do care...so don't hide…open up to them…you are not alone." i said as i put my hand on his metal shoulder and soon the metal body turned human once more..
"Geez…you went out of your way to say all that sappy crap…i'd have to be a dick to say no now." netzach joked but had a smile that said he found the fearlessness to keep on living.
Next was hod. I found her having an argument with netzach. About turning a blind eye to their employees suffering. Saying that both me and her were good people. As she tried to have a chat with the employees under her watch i noticed she was pausing quite a bit. Like a voice in her head. Not helped by the employees bitching about the programs that hod was focusing on. This caused her to snap.
"All of you would have died already if didn't help you! Why aren't you thanking me!? Do you want me to get rid of you like malkuth does before you make even the slightest complaint!? Don't you say i'm the bad one here!" hod screamed in anger. And soon she was talking to herself. Oh boy…i knew where this was going!
"Hey dumbasses! It would be in your best interest to leave! Get ready for another meltdown!" i yelled and sure enough hod's metal broke and black tendrils emerged turning into another shape. And sure enough another flashback that showed the kind of selfish bastard ayin was. As he crumbled up the newspaper that told of michelle's suicide and threw in the garbage not even looking back for a second. And asking if he would forgive her. Your the reason she called the head in the first place you fucking asshole! With your inhumane means to keep this stupid project rolling. But i digress i had another meltdown to handle. Same deal as the last few times. Fill up the quota with a handicap. This one is quite crippling as she weakens all of us both body and mind. The weakening gets worse as more Qliphoth Meltdowns occur. It was rough but i got through. I checked on hod. And when I helped her get up. A flashback occurred.
It was when i found michelle hiding behind a wall from me. She wasn't afraid just nervous. Though she was scared when i turned the corner.
"Peek a boo!" i yelled. She fell on her butt. She quickly got up and pouted and punched my chest. It felt like i was being hit with rubber ducks. After that I became like a big brother to her. Helping her with her nervousness and shyness making her laugh when she was sad. The flashback showed me making my plan to betray ayin and free the surviving staff. Of course that plan became pointless when michelle called the head…we all know how this ended.
"Big brother…i'm sorry. If not for me…everyone wouldn't have died…you would have had the chance to tell kali how you feel…i'm so sorr-" hod tried to yell only for me to hug her.
"Hod…michelle. You have nothing to be guilty over…i was planning on betraying the project too…while it's true that calling the head was a mistake. You were a kid who was raised in our lab. You had no clue how people like the head operated…your goal was the same as mine. To get those who were still alive out of there…i forgive you little sis." i said. The light surrounded hod as she cried. Soon felt something hot and wet on my shoulder as hod's return to a human form allowed her to shed tears again. As she looked at me with a smile. I know she found the hope to be a better person. And with that. Two more floors are finished now for the central floor…this entire section is gonna be a kick to my head. Considering the sephirah are those i felt like i failed the hardest…starting with the two orphans i promised to protect.