A/n: Hehe the fun prompt I've been waiting for… there will be some confusing bits and ig unreliable narration so bear with me but I promise it's good. Or like, worth the confusion.

Today's prompts: Childhood trauma (it's not the batfam without that), painful hug, moment of clarity, "I did good, right?"

"Fear gas!"

"I got it," Tim shouted, extending his bo staff as he ran towards the canister.

"Rebreather!" Dick called, tossing his mask to his younger brother as the green gas slowly leaked out onto the roof.

Tim caught it, and put it in as he leaned down to whack the canister away with his bo staff. It was only because Dick was watching that he noticed, seeing it all play out in slow motion.

The second Tim's staff came in contact with the can, a goon broke free from Red Hood and Robin and seized the opportunity to run towards an off-guard Red Robin. Nightwing began running even before Tim started falling, pushed to the edge of the roof, one foot going too far and soon enough…

"No!"

Dick wasted no time leaping after his younger brother. He ignored Robin calling out his name. He ignored all the other goons on the roof still needing to be dealt with.

Everything else faded away except for Tim.

The white of Red Robin's mask was wide in shock, but Nightwing's were narrowed in determination. He dived, reaching for Tim's outstretched hand… almost there…

He reached out for his parent's hands, but he was too late, and they were too far.

An image of Tim's body, bloody and broken on the ground below flashed across his mind.

'Just a little further…'

If only he'd been a moment quicker, reached out an inch further, stopped Zucco from tampering with the lines in the first place, done something, anything -

His hand wrapped around Tim's wrist, the younger teen doing the same to Dick's the way trapeze artists did.

His dad's hand was wrapped around his wrist as they flew through the air, one hand on him and the other on the trapeze line…

Dick shot out his line from his escrima, pulling Tim close and wrapped around him to protect him from the inevitable -

They crashed into the side of the building hard. Dick had managed to quickly twist in the air so it had been him to bear the brunt of the impact, holding Tim in his arms. His shoulder felt like it was being separated from his body, at least one rib broken, a sharp pain on the back of his head, but he couldn't care less. He had caught Tim.

He had caught his younger brother.

"You did all you could, Dick. It wasn't your fault," Batman had told him, so long ago.

"I could have been faster," Dick had sobbed. "Stronger, better, anything. Teach me how to be better. Train me," he'd demanded from Bruce. "I want to help you, I want to help Batman."

"No."

"Please," he'd whispered, voice failing him. "I couldn't save them. I have to be able to save the next people who fall."

He released the line and they dropped to the ground a few feet down, Dick still shielding his brother. The smaller impact still rattled his bones, lighting everything on fire. Lying on his back against the concrete, he could vaguely see a shiny red blob at the top of the building. He might have been saying something through the comms, people speaking, but Dick was too out of it. Physically and mentally. His vision was kind of blurry, his ears ringing slightly but mostly he was focused on the body lying next to him.

He froze.

He wasn't too late, right?

He was too late. The circus was silent. The circus was never silent, but it only lasted a moment anyway before the screaming started. He hadn't heard any of it anyway. The red all over his parents' faces and bodies had overtaken every part of him, the red on his brother's body overtook everyth-

Tim groaned, spitting out his rebreather as he picked himself up off the ground. He looked over at Dick, to see his older brother watching him.

"Dick, what the hell was that, are you- "

Tim was cut off by Dick wrapping his arms around him, shoving down all the pain that came with the action.

"You're okay," he whispered into his brother's neck. "I…" I wasn't too late. I caught you. I saved you. I couldn't save them, but I could save you.

None of those words came out though, because he stiffened at the sight of his parents in front of him. His heart clenched, but in grief or fear he couldn't tell. The expressions on their faces confused him. Almost like they were…

"I'm sorry, I couldn't save you, but I saved him. I did good, right? I saved him. I could… I could save him, I'm better now, I- "

"You should have been better back then. You had the potential to save us then if only you'd worked this hard for us."

Something was wrong. Something was very very wrong.

"Nightwing…?"

"I did good, right?" He repeated, barely a whisper.

Things weren't making sense. His head hurt. He couldn't breathe properly, but was it just panic, or was there something in his lungs? His parents were disappointed in him, but he'd done the right thing, right? Better late than never. He hadn't been in time to save his parents, but he'd saved his brother. He'd finally been able to- his ribs were on fire. His shoulder screamed at him, loosely wrapped around Tim's limp body. There was blood. He'd been too late. Maybe that was what this feeling was. He'd been too late. Always too late. He'd been too late. It was too late.

"Nightwing!"

His face was wet. He didn't even know if it was tears or blood or whose either of those were. All he knew was he was not winning this fight between himself and consciousness and soon enough, all he knew was black.

The first thing Dick did when he came to was throw up.

The second thing Dick did, after throwing up, was notice he'd thrown up into a bucket that was expertly placed on the floor beside the cot. Silently thanking Alfred's genius - that unfortunately stemmed from experience - it took a few seconds for him to be present enough to notice someone handing him a glass of water with a blue straw poking out of it.

Falling back against his pillows, he accepted the water from Bruce. After a few sips, he felt okay enough to ask, "What happened?"

Bruce took a breath, leaning forward in his chair to brush Dick's hair away from his forehead. He opened his mouth to answer, only to be interrupted by the person sitting in the chair on Dick's other side.

"What happened?" Jason snickered quietly. "You jumped of a building and used yourself as a human pillow for little Timmy here" - he gestured to the younger teen who was curled up on the bed, next to Dick, snoring - "and had a freakout at the bottom because of the fear gas."

Dick looked at Tim lying beside him, not noticing his younger brother before. He laid his hand on Tim's shoulder, smiling at the way Tim relaxed into the touch even in sleep. Looking around, Dick spotted Damian passed out in a chair near Dick's feet. Both him and Jason looked relatively unharmed, apart from the usual minor injuries to be expected when on a mission. Bruce had a broken leg and had been forced to stay home anyway.

Jason's words finally clicked in Dick's brain and he frowned.

"Fear gas? But that was such a small amount and I'm pretty immune to that stuff by now. It shouldn't have affected me."

"Maybe," Jason smirked. "But paired with a panic attack and a concussion? You - "

"Let's just say it's not something any of us would be happy with you trying again," Bruce said, cutting Jason off with a pointed look that made Dick nervous.

He vaguely remembered the events after diving off the roof, but it was all so jumbled and confusing in the first place that he doubted he'd be able to make sense of it even now. Maybe it would be better to just forget about it for now.

"But Dick?" Bruce started, placing a warm hand over his son's. "You saved him. You did good. I'm proud of you."

Dick mirrored Bruce's proud smile. "Thanks, Dad."

Jason let the rare, tender moment go on for two more seconds before he chose to ruin it.

"Guess I'll just go d- "

A/n: Fill in the rest of Jason's sentence with what you want, I didn't have the energy to come up with something good but it's definitely a "and then I go and ruin it all, by saying something stupid like- " situation ykwim? Anyway, little bit of Dick angst for ya. Not sure if I really fulfilled all the prompts but I'm happy with it.

Stay safe, take care of yourselves, and see ya soon.

- CrowofArcadiaOaks