Albus Dumbledore was famous for his belief that 'Love' was the greatest magic in the world. Dumbledore was insane, delusional, or both- to this day, I still can't decide which.
The greatest magic in the world is Chronomancy. The power to manipulate time itself. To go back and fix your mistakes, to pause time in its tracks, the cure to aging. Countless magicals have millenia in vain searching for a way to use magic to change time. The closest anyone has ever come to Chronomancy are the Time Turners invented by the British Unspeakables back in 1969, and even those devices have limits on their use. For thousands of years, the secrets of Chronomancy have eluded mankind- magical and muggle alike.
I cracked the secret to Chronomancy when I was 18.
It wasn't even all that hard, to be honest. It's pretty easy, really. Honestly, the fact that nobody has figured it out for so long says more about the collective intelligence (or lack thereof) of mankind more than it does about the difficulty of Chronomancy.
What's the secret?
Come on, I'm not that stupid. I'm not going to tell you how to do it, you'll use the power against me of course. And while I'm sure I'd be able to handle you pretty easily (let's be honest here, you're clearly not that bright, else you'd have solved the secrets to Chronomancy too by now), frankly it's just not worth the effort.
Who am I?
I suppose I can answer that at least. I am Harry James Potter.
Anyways, back to Dumbledore being a moron. In my youth, Dumbledore royally fucked up the handling of the Voldemort war. While I did eventually manage to off the Dark Idiot running around murdering people, far too many people had died by that point and the muggle government had had enough. The Prime Minister blew the whistle on the existence of Magical Britain which led to a resurgence of the Witch Hunts that drove magicals into hiding in the first place. Wizarding Britain, already beleaguered and on its last legs from the Voldemort problem, quickly fell to the muggle onslaught after the PM ordered a nuclear strike on Hogwarts. The castle's wards were strong but not even she could withstand that kind of firepower, especially not weakened as she was. Magicals began to flee and attempted to go deeper into hiding. Sadly, with the level of skill most magicals possessed being far lower than in the past due to the subpar education they received in Hogwarts under Dumbledore's rule (the man had banned all offensive magics beyond stunners, labeling them 'dark'), most magicals failed to hide from the muggles and were promptly hunted down and killed. The rest of the muggle nations soon followed Britain's example and the Witch Hunts were soon back in the modern era on a global scale.
I was one of the lucky ones. After spending a year on the run from Voldemort's forces to search for his horcruxes, I was pretty adept at hiding myself. Ron and Hermione were too, but they died defending the Burrow along with the rest of the Weasleys from the muggle witch hunters (I was in France at the time or I likely would've died with them). About a year after going into hiding, I managed to crack the first secret to Chronomancy then spent the next three decades or so mastering the rest.
I could have gone back in time to fix everything then and there, but that's the wonderful thing about being a time traveler. I have all the 'time' in the world. I decided instead to travel the world- both spatially and temporally- and learn everything about magic and fighting that I could. I was taught the secrets of the arcane, wandless casting, and how to harness the true might of my magic and Mother Nature's by Merlin himself. I learned illusions and the mind arts from the Fey in a time long before mankind existed. The druids taught me ritual magic and how to change my shape at will (true shapeshifting, not the limited morphing abilities of Metamorphmagus; Tonks for example can't change her gender or internal organs like I can, nor can she change her height beyond a few inches; additionally, modern day animagus are limited to only a single non-magical animal form while I am not). I learned combat magic and mastered spells long forgotten in the modern era directly from ancient Egypt, Persia, Greek, Rome, China, and Japan. Even magical civilizations modern magicals know nothing about, such as the Mayans and Native Americans. I even traveled to the future after I fixed everything and saved the world and learned new magics there that don't yet exist in the present day!
'But wait, Harry! How is that possible? Is that not a paradox?' I hear you asking.
Ignoring paradoxes was the third secret of Chronomancy.
Anyways, I didn't limit myself to a purely magical education. I mastered every form of martial arts that has ever and will ever exist. I even invented several styles of martial arts myself. In terms of pure hand to hand combat, I could beat Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Ip Man, and Rook Shaw all at once. That isn't a boast, it's a fact. I've actually done it.
What's that? Who's Rook Shaw? Oh right, I forgot he doesn't exist yet. Keeping track of when people are born is surprisingly difficult when the concept of time loses all meaning for you.
Weapons were also an aspect of combat I mastered. Swords, Knives, Axes, Spears, Bow and Arrow, Guns, to name but a few. Future weapons as well, like lasers and beam canons. If a weapon has existed at any point in time, I've learned how to use it. My favorite would probably be the sword though. Cliche, I know, but it's a classic for a reason. Plus, Gryffindor's Sword made quite the impression on me when I killed that Basilisk as a kid. Kusarigama is a close second though. Nobody back home in jolly old Britain knows how to deal with one of those, it's hilarious to watch them try, especially when the blade is enchanted with the ability to deflect spells.
I didn't just stop there, however. Knowledge is also power, so I learned everything I could about muggle science (if only so I could laugh more when I consistently break all their rules of physics with magic on an hourly basis). Chemistry was where I hit the jackpot though. I managed to concoct a number of formulas for various poisons even more deadly than Basilisk Venom.
I spent the next eight to ten decades or so of relative time consolidating everything I'd learned into a coherent fighting style. I trained with all the greatest warriors and mages throughout history, men and women both good and evil, all in the name of honing my skills. At this point, I am undoubtedly the deadliest warrior that has ever or will ever exist.
Of course, it wasn't all learning magic and training to fight, I did spend a lot of time enjoying the world and what it has to offer. All work and no play makes Harry an insane boy. Nothing is more relaxing than flying around (on a broom or on my own) and taking in the beauty of mother nature and the peace of the wild. And I've spent quite a few lifetimes just being an average man (and sometimes woman) as well and just enjoying the highs and lows of life. I've been married many times and had lots of wonderful children all across time. In fact, you know Draco Malfoy? The bratty kid who caused me so much trouble in my Hogwarts years? Yeah, I'm his great grandfather now. Take that, bitch! I fucked your great grandmum!
I have no doubt that all this training is overkill to the extreme just for ol' Voldy and his Death Munchers, but it was fun to learn if nothing else. I've been traveling through time for so long now that I've long since forgotten how old I am. Not that age means anything to me, given Chronomancy and all, mind you. Regardless, it's been a very long time since I've been back to the Voldemort era. After all my travels, after everything I've learned, after everything I've seen and accomplished, I think it's finally time for me to go home and correct the mistakes of my past.
Yeah, so I haven't written anything in quite a while, but I was scrolling through my old ideas folder on a whim and found this. Thought it was pretty funny so I figured I'd post it cuz why not.