It took about 0.5 seconds for Ruby to regret what she said, because Weiss gave her a look that seemed equal-parts alarmed, scandalized, and terrified. "F— Flora—"

Apparently deciding that hers was the path of mutilation, Ruby silenced Weiss with a hand clamped over her mouth as she declared: "Yes! This is my gay, homosexual, Faunus-loving romance partner. In the classic Faunus tradition, I have taken her as my mate!"

Good god what in the fuck was wrong with her? Why the hell was she doing this?

Right, for the look of horror on Weiss' face, and for the fact that it roiled with obvious conflict beneath. Gayass. This was probably the poor bigot's awakening (not the kissing, obv), and Ruby was christening it as poorly as she could. To fuck with her, of course.

Penny hopped in place, giving a rapid applause that was just as cute as it was uncanny. "Sen-sational! Weiss Schnee, mated by a Faunus! Oh, the Director will love this!"

Director? Ruby looked at her partner.

That three-syllable word had her going whiter than any sheet and making odd little peeps against Ruby's hand. Ruby let her partner go, amending, "Uh, I was joking, Weiss and I aren't like that; the mating thing is a myth anyways," she corrected. "We're just… roommates. And partners. N-not like that, like at Beacon, because—"

This time, it was Ruby whose mouth was palmed, and she quickly found herself shutting the fuck up as her already-tapped Aura was siphoned— accidentally or not, she couldn't tell.

"I am not mated," Weiss grunted, her cheeks hot and bright. "And even if I were, here is not thine Atlas. Tis Vale. Thou wilt be enlightened to know thy Director hath no power here."

"Oh!" Penny said, unbothered, still perfectly cheery. "Well! That is a fun thing to believe! Good luck with your roomate-partner-not-in-that-way-not-mate Faunus, then! And be sure to get your shots and use mite shampoo for its ectoparasites!"

Ruby's brain awoke, and the hand in her hoodie pocket firmly slipped into—

"Speak not of my nemesis!" Weiss demanded harshly. "Thou hast no place to belittle her!"

Ruby didn't take her hand out, but she did look at Weiss. This thing between them was so… weird. Weirdly nice? Weirdly weird.

Penny's voice lost all its cordial tone, dropping to dead malice like a hungry machine. "I have every place," Penny claimed. "I find it odd you've not expressed more concern for who I am, but such is life. Good-bye, Miss Schnee, someone will be here for you soon." She turned to leave the alley. "I'm afraid I must go. The Director is expecting me, I just wanted to investigate whatever you two were doing. What good luck I found you, Miss Schnee."

She got one step before Ruby shot out her hand, casting her filament-strung anchors like bolas, but then Penny's feet friggin' exploded, blasting her skywards and away from Ruby's range in a burst of shining green (green? Green? Wtf?).

Ruby plotted.

Ruby's: 1; not counting Weiss cuz she's unarmed and p much useless. Weapons: 1? Like, 4 anchors plus 8 wires, but they're all just one thing so… Disposition: weirded out to the max, angered (justifiably) to the max, plus a little defensive of Weiss; what; that wasn't weird; they were partners; Weiss was protective of her! Affiliation: Beacon Hunters' Academy.

Weirdos: 1. Weapons: no clue. Disposition: uh… racist; whatever. Affiliation: The Formless Temple of the Fourth Archivist; that's what she was picking up at least; from the vibes; the racist ones.

Predicted outcome: with any luck, diced Fourth. Er, diced Penny. Not Weiss. Yet.

Ruby reached out, appearing from a burst of red-black, her fingers scraping the back of Penny's heel, no purchase. Penny continued—

Ruby plotted.

Blinking again out of her Semblance, Ruby managed to lead her shot well enough to wrap an arm around Penny's waist. The sudden rush of vertigo from popping her Semblance twice rather than plotting two points made bile crawl up her throat too quickly for her to stop, so she vomited on the back of Penny's head.

"O — EUGH!" Penny exclaimed. "DID YOU VOMIT IN MY—"

Ruby hauled her anchors up, fighting the wind to bring her hand to the arm around Penny's waist so she could slip them under her fingers. Her Aura awoke at the monofilaments scraping it, barely present after being used and siphoned, but now Ruby was firmly belted to the flying Fourth.

And now…

Shit, now what?

"Land!" Ruby shouted over the wind.

"YOU VOMITED IN MY HAIR!"

You know what? Fair.

Ruby relaxed her arm and tightened her grip, her body dropping until only her wires held her against Penny, her weight against the monofilaments making them saw into Penny's bright green Aura like a shoulder-strap made of razors. The higher surface area would overwhelm her Aura quickly, with any luck.

Unfortunately, there wasn't any luck, there were only bad decisions. The anti-Aura trick worked against her, too, and Ruby felt the moment her Aura cracked. She probably wouldn't be getting her groceries today.

SAVED 8/29

gv grocery list

-1oz grav (b)

-1oz ltng (b)

-4oz fire (y)

-ask weiss what dust she needs

Aw dag, she forgot to ask Weiss what Dust she needed.

-granola bars (variety pack)

-beef sticks (rmdr: call weiss a beefstick)

-bottle water

-electrolyte pckts (b said they want the grey ones?)

-canned tuna (wtf b?)

-coffee

-percolator if its Ln20

-deodorant

-spray deo (ax brand for yang ugh)

-hot dog

-smore stuff

-bestial energy drinks (b is fkn gross)

-preworkout? (dont get this yang wants to die of heart atk)

-bread

-eggs

-ask b what weird fkn cal their pistol is

Shoot, she forgot that too.

Ruby cried out as the shield of her soul fizzled away, leaving her hand at the mercy of her own monofilament wires. They sliced into her sensitive palm, cutting deep until she could feel metal flossing her carpals. Ruby screamed, but relinquished her grip on the wires just before her fingers and palm could finalize their violent divorce.

If Ruby were normal, she'd probably just drop— plummet like a stone. If she'd been raised well, she would probably be focusing more on what she could grapple with her anchors, just to catch herself before going splat. Alas, if she were normal, she'd probably be dead trying either of those things.

But Ruby had been raised by two mothers who— by most standards— were not mentally fit to be good influences on someone like Ruby, especially not if they were going to push her towards the inherently violent lifestyle of being a Huntress. Raven was stubborn and cutthroat— literally— having come from a warrior culture that rewarded violence beyond that which was wrought upon the Grimm, extending it to her fellow humans as well. Summer, arguably, was worse. Qrow had told Ruby (in confidence) that Summer fought Grimm like an extended suicide note, only she never could manage to die— if anything, her style made her more deadly. He told her that Summer fought Grimm like she could avenge Tai. He told her that Summer fought Grimm like she was a Grimm.

Raven had taught Ruby not to lose. Summer had taught her how to win.

And, for once, being a bird-person actually helped. Go figure.

Ruby bent one leg up at an angle impossible for humans, wrapping all three of her front talons in the monofilament wire and catching herself taut against Penny once more. She felt the wire digging in, but not as easily as with her hand— probably just making deep white scores in the scaly black scutae.

"Holy fuck!" Ruby found herself shouting, her lips curling up into the smile of someone who had just miraculously avoided a gruesome death. "Oh my god, I'm not dead! Hahahaaaa!"

Penny looked down in utter surprise, but not horror, which was bad. Ruby wiggled in a panic, sawing the wire harder against Penny's Aura, but to no avail as Penny leveled her palm to Ruby's head. The center of her hand glowed bright green.

"Are you a friggin' robot or something!"

Penny smiled. Her hand pulsed brighter.

"Shit!"

Ruby's mangled hand (and oh god, it was bad) limply slapped against her other palm, her fingers unresponsive, forcing her to wedge her thumb up under the spool to unlock it. The reel clicked open and released wire immediately, sending Ruby flying on slack. She screamed like a person who was about to die— she probably was— but being insane and stupid had its benefits.

A bolt of hot green stuff blew past Ruby's forehead, singing that stupid fucking lock of hair that wouldn't stay in her god-damn ponytail, but she took the opportunity to slap her fucked palm into the reel (OUCHIE) and lock it down again, catching herself on Penny once more. She giggled again— giddy as an idiot, now dangling with something like 20 feet of monofilament lasso between herself and Penny— because somefuckinghow she was not dead.

"Florabel!"

Ruby looked around— up, because she was upside-down— until she learned she wasn't actually a hundred feet in the air (which is how it felt) but rather something closer to twenty. Weiss chased her, barging her way through the pedestrian-crowded sidewalks of Greater Vale, her arms held high as if to catch Ruby.

Which she definitely wasn't going to do, because Ruby wasn't about to lose to some ginger robot. She looked up at Pen—

"Florabel, you god-damned idiot, let go!"

Ruby plot—

"Thy death cometh from my hand, Florabel!"

Ruby sighed. She unlocked the reel.

She plummeted like a normal person, wires leaving her claws as she unspooled towards her partner.

"W-wait, Florabel! Thou'rt too fast! Fuck!"

Ah. Maybe twenty feet was a little too much.

She threw out her arms, pretending her feathers would catch enough air to slow her down as she careened towards Weiss like a kinetic missile, screaming: "IMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRYIMSOR—"

As expected, this embrace between Weiss and Ruby was not particularly pleasant. All of Ruby's 100-something pounds slammed into Weiss, taking them both fully to the pavement, Weiss' body cushioning her with a wet crack. Ruby rolled off immediately, stars flaring in her vision as she moved too fast for her bloodless bird-body, her head briefly falling onto Weiss' chest before she jerked herself back into consciousness. Her red-covered hands searched her partner's torso. People gathered in the background.

"Fine—" Weiss mumbled, spitting blood. "Rib… in mine… lung… or heart… fuck."

"Stop dying," Ruby sternly told her, jabbing a finger towards her bloody face.

Weiss scoffed, spraying a fresh gout of blood that got all over Ruby's cheek. "This? Ha— khakh— ooh, oh, no— no laughing."

Ruby leaned up over her partner's face. "Need a siphon?"

Thankfully, Weiss shook her head. "Nay. I've plenty from… earlier."

"Shut up," Ruby ordered gruffly, her cheeks red, before her own hand flared alight and reminded her it was sawed almost fully in half. She'd lost a lot of blood. "Oh sh-shit," she muttered, holding up the shaking remnants of her left hand: little more than tatters held by a thin buffer of meat. "Weiss, I— I'm gonna pass out again."

"I s-swear to god—" Weiss, with visible pain, pushed herself up enough to glare up at Ruby, only for her anger to crumble at the sight of her partner's hand. "Oh. Oh my. Er… okay. Thou… thou wilt be okay, R-Ruby, tis just—"

"Florabel," Ruby corrected, her voice distant as she stared at the useless, squirting mess of tendons, blood, and muscle that her right hand had become. "I… I like it more, from you."

"O-okay, Florabel," in the corner of Ruby's gore-locked vision, Weiss pushed herself up more, wincing, until she was able to sit up and scoot towards Ruby. Weiss grabbed the sleeve of her hoodie, taking one of the nearby lengths of limp wire and wincing as she placed it between her teeth, her other hand bleeding as she pulled the wire taut and cut a slit in Ruby's sleeve, then tore it off completely from there without using the filament. Taking Ruby's good hand off her own bloody wrist, Weiss bound the mangled hand painfully tight with the fabric, then scooted closer and pulled Ruby's forehead into her shoulder. "Twill be… okay. Thou wilt—"

"You don' haveta," Ruby mumbled, her vision closing in darkly. The world started to float. "Ooo-ooh, I'm goin'..."

"Thy phone," Weiss bade in a rush. "Permit me call thy sister."

"Fron-lef'... pock…"

Weiss, still holding her to her shoulder, rifled in Ruby's pocket until the phone was in her hand. "Thy code?"

"T-ten… thir-y… wun…"

"Ten thirty-one? Whyfor?"

Ruby sighed, her shoulders slumping towards her partner. "S'm'birh… day."

Weiss punched the numbers and did some other stuff, then probably put the phone to her ear, but Ruby wasn't really seeing it. "Wei… sss…"

Weiss didn't move or say anything, besides whatever she was emphatically blabbing about over the phone. Ruby nuzzled into her shoulder and breathed deep, letting the scent of oranges take her…

Oh, that… bitch…

That… was her… condition…er…