It was with some dismay that I learnt Dís would be housed in the suite Fili had once occupied - which put her in our hallway - which greatly increased the chance of me seeing her again, very soon, and very frequently - as luck would have it.

I made a point of peeking out the door before exiting my rooms. I did not have the slightest idea of what I could do to earn her respect, and until that time, I wished to keep our interactions to a minimum. I had heard from a few of the others that she was currently spending much of her days in the tombs, grieving over her losses, and though my heart went out to her, I was selfishly relieved that she was well out of my way. I could not, however, avoid her forever, and inevitably one evening we found ourselves in each other's presence.

I had been relaxing in Balin's common room near the end of the day, having just finished a kettle of tea with Ori. The young dwarf had departed to continue his writing duties, but I had decided to stay, hoping that Bofur would poke his head in before I left for bed. I settled into a softer chair closer to the fire and reflected on the past days' events; fortunately all had been quiet in the mountain. Though I knew I should have told Bofur of my encounter with the orc, I selfishly kept my lips sealed so my secret training could continue as per usual. I began to push myself, especially after letting the filthy creature escape, and Méra had heartily agreed to extra sessions as often as we could both get away, though it was sometimes difficult to do so without arousing suspicion. I was finally getting better, and though I could not, of course, match the princess in a duel, nor any other dwarf I was sure, I felt my strength growing. I became confident that I might soon be considered at least competent, if ever I was set against a human of relatively similar stature and training - though I knew the chance of finding such an opponent was slim to none.

I sat up and looked over my shoulder as I heard soft movements behind me, hoping it was Bofur, but then quickly snapped my gaze back to the fire when I saw that it was in fact Dís who had entered the room. I slumped down in my seat and hoped she wouldn't look my way, wouldn't recognize me, wouldn't bother me - but my evening had been far too peaceful, and I was not to be granted a moment more of it.

I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, the regal dwarrowdam stride towards the fireplace and lightly sit a few seats away from me. I held my breath, not sure if I should acknowledge her or simply flee the scene.

She broke the silence before I could decide.

"There is an old saying of our people," she began and I turned my head slightly to glance at her, she however, was not looking at me, but staring into the flames. "In your tongue it would roughly translate to 'only One can sway the heart of a dwarf."

I began to bristle, having already been on the receiving end of similar conversations, and not keen on listening to another.

"It is one of our oldest sayings." she continued, still keeping her gaze firmly fixed away from me. "It's frequently cited to prove our loyalty, our fidelity, and the depth of our affections."

I clenched my jaw and curtly stood up, deciding to make my exit. Dís, however, stood up as well and subtly moved to block my escape, finally meeting my eyes and continuing her lecture.

"Understand, girl, that dwarves love so fiercely that our hearts, no matter how large, have room for but one love in all our long lives - and oftentimes only our craft will sway our affections. If we do marry, we marry only once... It is known that a widowed dwarf is widowed for life."

I frowned down at her and my eyes inexplicably began to water. I was tired of this.

"Listen." I told her, trying to keep my voice steady. "I know little of your customs... but Bofur asked me to marry him, and I said yes, because I love him, more than anything... and I may not be his One, but he is mine. If that offends you-"

Dís raised a hand and cut me off, her expression softening slightly. She shook her head.

"No." she breathed. "Love should cause no offence. I am sorry to have upset you."

"It's alright." I said with a small sigh after I had composed myself. "I should not be so easily upset. I know my engagement will anger many."

I sat back down and Dís did so as well.

She studied me a moment and seemed to choose her next words carefully.

"I have heard tell... that my son, Kili, might have formed an... attachment on the journey here." she began, looking to me for any sign of reaction. I frowned before I could help myself.

"I ask you," she continued, her eyes becoming somewhat glassy, "because women seem to be wise to these things. I cannot trust the rumours of men on such a subject... but you were there, you would know... tell me if the rumours were true? Had Kili found love?"

I swallowed hard and looked away, but I could not lie to her.

"Yes." I replied, my voice careful and quiet. "He gave his heart to beautiful woman like no other, a proven warrior, and a captain of her homeland... and I do believe she returned his affections."

I spared a quick glance at Dís who was absentmindedly wringing her hands together.

"And this women... she was an elf." Dís concluded. I nodded, though she did not directly ask my confirmation.

She sighed, but seemed more grief-stricken than troubled. Then, to my surprise, she grinned almost wryly.

"Oh my dear Kili," she whispered softly, more to herself it seemed, but then she looked up at me. "He was a handful as soon as he was off the breast, that boy, never did anything that was expected of him."

I smiled sadly and wanted to ask more about her memories of him, but the fear of reducing us both to tears caused me to hold my tongue.

"The world is indeed changing." she continued after a few minutes reflection. "I may witness a union between a dwarf and a human... and my own son might have pledged himself to an elf." She then offered me a small smile in return. "We may live to see the day when the races break down their barriers."

She then stood again, and after thanking me for my honesty she bid me a good night and left me in peace once more.

In the morning, I was halfway along my normal route before I decided to made a point of going down to one of the main dining halls. I felt that, for the first time since the arrival of the Blue Mountain Dwarves, I could show my face openly in public without fear of reprisal. The change was so subtle, however, that at first I wasn't sure if it was just in my head, or actually manifesting in those around me. I suspected that, by whatever gossip mill that existed in Erebor, word of my encounter with Dís had spread. And while our exchange may not have been considered all that positive, it was at least not negative. On the contrary, it seemed that the sheer fact that I was worthy of the time it took her to have a private conversation with me - one that was civil in its own right - may have swayed the other residents of the mountain to view me with more open-mindedness.

This feeling was present all through breakfast, and I even thought my cleaning crew were making more of a point to converse in Westron for my benefit, even if I did not contribute much to the conversations. The apparent good will of the people of Erebor held out until the end of my shift when, after I had cleaned up and changed clothes, I was heading down for supper.

I was rather lost in thought; perhaps I had even been humming to myself, as my mood was light after such an amiable day amidst the dwarves. It was in this euphoria that I suddenly found myself almost on top of Rida.

I took a step back, apologizing for not seeing her. She smiled and easily waved it off.

"Come, take tea with us." she invited, indicating towards a nearby chamber. Her unexpected friendliness made me wonder if my first impression of her had been wrongly construed. Still, I hesitated. The last thing I could afford was to embarrass Bofur further on my account, and I wasn't sure I was quite up to socializing with the new arrivals on my own yet.

Without waiting for an answer, Rida took hold of my arm and guided me into a simple rest area set up with a few benches, a small fireplace and a table for refreshments - my cleaning team had recently refurbished it as such, since it had been too small a room to be functional as much else.

Two other dwarrowdams were already seated, and Rida encouraged me to join them as she fixed me with a cup of tea.

When the other women made no move to introduce themselves, I looked to Rida and strove to think of some appropriate small talk to begin with, though I quickly realized I only knew of one commonality that connected us.

"So, how do you know Bofur?" I asked as cordially as I could manage, despite how awkward I suddenly felt.

"Bofur? Oh we've known each other for near on a century now." she replied with a sweet smile. "His mother was very close friends with mine."

I tried to smile in response despite an odd weight that had settled in my gut. I took a few sips of tea hoping to disperse it.

"And where did you meet him?" she asked, as she lightly sat down across from me and fixed me with a curious look.

I fumbled through a very short, very edited version of how I came to be in the Company of Thorin.

"Oh, so you've only known him for, what was it, nine months?" Rida asked, her expression still pleasantly arranged even though I was beginning to suspect she was patronizing me.

My mind raced for a response, and as luck would have it, something Ganin had said recently in training leapt to the forefront of my thoughts.

"Doesn't strength come through adversity?" I asked while looking at her rather pointedly. "Isn't the strongest steel forged by the hottest fire? It's struck repeatedly before being plunged back into the inferno - but the fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength... The bonds that Bofur and I made in the quest for Erebor are stronger than any other." I concluded, tipping my chin up slightly.

Rida's composure flickered, but only for a second, and since the eyes of her cohorts were only on me, I was likely the only one to notice. It had become common knowledge that I had been a valued member of the Company, and while I might have begged to differ at times, to question the word of one of the dwarven members of the company was akin to sacrilege these days, so if they vouched for me there was no rebuking it. What's more, although my contribution in the Battle of the Five Armies had been small, many of the dwarven soldiers had authenticated the claims that I stood and fought alongside Bofur despite all odds.

"This is Bofur's intended." Rida suddenly told her friends, as if remembering she hadn't made any proper introductions - and perhaps by way of explaining my desire to emphasize my connection to the Company, and Bofur in particular.

My previous bout of confidence deflated somewhat as they all looked at me with more criticism than a casual conversation warranted. One of them uttered something in Khuzdul, causing the other to nearly snort into her tea. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes at Rida, expecting her to translate. She shook her head slightly, though I noticed her smile now seemed slightly less sweet and slightly more cruel.

"She just wondered if I had made a joke." she explained offhandedly.

I tried then to finish my tea, wanting an excuse to leave.

"We do wonder, does King Dain know?" Rida ventured, raising an eyebrow at me. "That you're telling everyone you're engaged to a dwarf?"

I set down my cup rather more forcefully than I intended, causing it to topple sideways. I automatically lurched forward to ensure it didn't roll to the floor, leaving my composure somewhat shattered. As such, I struggled to formulate an answer to her rather disjunct question.

"I mean, I knew the Ironfoots were somewhat… progressive," Rida carried on, some disdain entering her voice, "and taking in a charity case is one thing, but to desecrate our traditions."

"I don't know what I've done to offend you-" I began rather clippingly, but one of Rida's friends actually spoke up to cut me off.

"Your mere presence within these halls offends us all, I assure you."

Apparently, ill-will towards me still festered quite hotly in some, and it seemed I wasn't going to be able to persuade these dwarrowdams to my case no matter how hard I tried. There would always be a few like this, and they were barely worth the effort.

Rida turned to address her friends, though it was clear her next words were meant for me to hear as well.

"Pity. She won't be able to give him children any better than his first wife could."

I took in a sharp gasp of air as it felt like I'd been punched in the chest. I was so shocked by the hurt I felt that I could do nothing for a moment except sit dumbfounded. I then began to seeth in anger for the inappropriate criticism of Bofur's late wife. I stood up and glowered at the dwarrows with as much ferocity as I could muster. They stared up at me with oddly innocent expressions, making me even angrier.

"It is true though." Rida tutted, standing up as well. "Even if it was possible, you wouldn't be able to birth a dwarven child."

"That's none of your business!" I snapped.

"I think it is my business." She twirled a finger round a curl of her hair, her red lips forming a mocking pout. "Because if I'd have known Bofur was back on the market…Well, I was next in line. I could give him a proper family... a son."

Although I had every intention of storming out, something held me in place. Perhaps the truth in her words had struck a chord in me, and, though they stung, I couldn't quite deny them, couldn't just walk away and ignore them.

Rida placed her hands on her hips, her face upturned in a smug grin. She took the opportunity to continue speaking.

"It's not fair for you to hold him back... though, of course, nothing is official, not yet, and I highly doubt that anyone will actually allow a wedding to take place." She glanced up at me with a greedy smirk and I realized she was trying to get a rise out of me. Of course it was working.

I shook my head at her and then turned to leave, deciding to forgo the chance to get in the final word - there was no point in making things worse by starting a conflict with this woman.

I had barely taken a step when my head jerked back involuntarily as I was yanked to a standstill by my hair. I shouted and struggled to free myself but quickly froze when I saw that Rida drawn a dagger which was poised precariously close to my neck.

"You have no place here." she hissed.

I yelled involuntarily as I felt my hair suddenly become weightless and reeled slightly as the dwarrowdam stepped back, holding up both the dagger and a handful of my blonde hair. I gaped at her, my heart pounding near out of my chest from having a weapon brandished against me so soon after the trauma of the battle. I had feared she was going to slit my throat, and felt a cold relief wash over me seeing that it was only my hair she had cut.

The dwarrowdam made a noise of disgust and dropped the bundle of my strands. Then she bent down and fished my courting braid from the pile. I forced my legs to work, to follow her as she moved towards the fireplace, brandishing the cut braid at me as she did so.

"You have no right to this," she said, her pretty face looking rather malicious as she scowled, "you are a joke. And this is a joke."

"No, please, wait." I reached out, wanting to take back the bead I held so dear to my heart. I lunged at her when she moved to toss it into the fire, shouting intelligibly, but I was too late. I fell to my knees as I watched my courting braid burn.

Eventually I became aware of the laughter filling the room around me. I pushed myself back to my feet and ran.

My eyes were blurring over as I fled down the corridor. I did not see, but certainly felt, when I collided into a form as hard as the rock. In fact, I almost thought I had run into the wall itself when I stumbled back, but then a hand grabbed my wrist and I was steadied.

I sobbed an apology, barely recognizing a scowling Dwalin, before I pushed past him and carried on to my chambers. It was only when I had slammed the door behind me, sliding to the floor, did I feel I could finally breathe again.

I cried as I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, now ending above my shoulders. I cried a bit harder when I finally slumped myself to the mirror to see the very uneven chop job the spiteful dwarrowdam had given me. I cried more for the insulting comments playing over in my head and the destruction of my priceless, memorable little courting bead.

Finally I was able to calm myself, and when I did I found some shears and tried to even out the bottom. It was only hair, I tried to reason. She could have gotten a lot more than she did, she could have cut open an artery in my neck and left me for dead. Hair, at least, would grow back... Yet my self-encouragements did little to raise my mood.

It was so strange to have nothing falling over my shoulders or down my back. It felt so light and swung about much more freely. I stared at myself with a scowl. It wasn't terrible... but still, it didn't look great. I put my face in my hands when I heard a knock on my door. The last thing I needed was a visitor.

"Who is it?" I called out.

"You're soon-to-be-future-husband." A cheery response called back.

I tried not to groan. "Maybe not after you see me." I mumbled to myself.

I wiped my eyes and dragged myself towards the door, wondering if I should try to send him away with some excuse. Knowing he likely wouldn't be swayed to leave me alone even if I shouted that I was ill, I decided there was no point in delaying the inevitable - I couldn't hide forever.

Trying to steady my resolve, I opened the door and plastered a false smile on my face.

Bofur's jaw literally dropped when he saw me, and then his expression darkened.

"What happened?" he demanded as he stepped inside, snapping the door shut behind him.

"I… I cut it." The words spilled out of my mouth before I could even rationalize why I wanted to lie about it. Perhaps a part of me wished so desperately to fit in, to be accepted, that I wanted to keep from making waves. We had been involved in enough drama, so the less people made of it, the better.

"I thought a change would be... nice..." I added, shrugging my shoulders slightly.

"Then why have you been crying?" he asked severely.

I shrugged again, stepping towards the fireplace to free myself of his questioning gaze.

"I was wrong I guess, I don't like it as much as I thought I would." I stooped down and began to arrange some kindling.

Bofur was quiet for a moment and I heard him take a few steps towards me, but I continued to pretend to be busy starting a fire. "Why didn't you ask me first?" his voice was dangerously low.

"I didn't think I needed to!" I shrieked, standing up and storming into the bedroom, my emotions fried. "It is my hair after all."

"I was supposed to braid it, for the wedding." Bofur countered as he followed me.

"It'll grow back." I retorted vehemently.

"Not fast enough." he insisted and I could tell he was precariously close to yelling as well. "You don't understand - you don't know anything!"

"You're right, I know nothing, and who's to blame for that?" I shouted, turning and hoping to make a beeline back to the main room. He caught me by the arm and spun me to face him. I glared at him, on the verge of tears again.

He sighed loudly and shook his head.

"Dwarves only cut their hair short when they are disgraced, or being punished." he tried to explain, his voice slightly calmer though his expression remained angry.

"Well, I'm sorry." I cried, angry tears running down my cheeks as I yanked out of his grasp.

Bofur threw his hands in the air in defeat.

"You just - you shouldn't have done that! ...There is no way you'll fit in here now."

"What does it matter? I am not a dwarf." I choked out. "And I will never fit in here."

We both jumped when my door slammed open so hard I wondered if it was still fully on its hinges. Dwalin stomped into our midst and he quickly looked me over before I could even wipe my eyes.

"Come. You're summoned to a council in front of the King." Dwalin demanded, his voice ripe with command.

"Dwalin... you're speaking!" Bofur commented wondrously, but then his gaze fell to Dwalin's fist which was clenched around a bundle of blonde, straight hair. "Wait, is that- What in Durin's name is going on?" Bofur asked, looking from Dwalin to myself.

"Now." Dwalin uttered with such severity that I nodded despite myself and fell into step beside him. Bofur followed behind, still spurting questions no one was answering.

We made our way down the hallway, though rather than turning and taking the normal route towards the throne room, we continued forward into Balin's chambers. Having never been past the sitting room, I wondered if perhaps we were here to pick up Balin before carrying on, but when Dwalin beckoned us further into the multitude of rooms, I realized that our route continued on through the suites. It made sense that the Royal Advisor would have a shortcut to Dain's quarters, but I never realized just how close the two wings actually were. The usual route involved several stairways, back-tracking and haphazard zig-zags, taking the better course of ten minutes to navigate. This secret route, however, only took us two minutes down a direct tunnel and one flight of stairs. When we exited the stairwell into a room more elaborate than even the royal baths, I knew we had arrived.

Dain was seated on an ornate chair at the head of the room, a few of his guards and advisors, Balin included, stood on either side, looking somewhat ill at ease.

Rida was before him, standing with what I assumed might be her parents. Her scowl was so deep I wondered if it might etch permanently onto her face after this. I thought she would have the contrition to avoid eye contact with me as Dwalin led me forward, but instead she locked her gaze with mine, showing no hint of remorse. Her two friends were present as well.

"Right. Let's get this mess over with." Dain announced as soon as we came to a stop. I could feel Bofur staring intently at the side of my face, but I looked resolutely down.

"What's happened to yer hair then?" The king asked, and I knew I had to meet his eye as I spoke.

"I cut it." I said decisively.

"Tell the truth." Dwalin growled, giving my arm a small shake.

"It's treason to lie to your King. Tell me what really happened, for Durin's sake." Dain demanded. I glanced at Dwalin then back to my feet, unsure.

Dwalin let out a noise of frustration then stepped forward.

"She's too bloody scared to say. I told you she would be. But I'll tell yeh what happened, those miserable rats accosted her and cut off her hair with no provocation! I caught the lass fleeing to her rooms and found those three giddy as sugared up bairns, along with this." He brandished the clump of my sheared locks that he still gripped in his fingers.

Dain sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Is this true, girl?" he asked.

After a long pause I nodded, and saw Bofur bring a hand up to his mouth out of the corner of my eye.

"Who did the cuttin' then?" Dain questioned, his voice becoming increasingly agitated as he gestured distastefully towards the dwarrowdams.

I frowned but eventually cast my gaze to Rida. "She did." I stated quietly. "The other two did nothing." I gave them each a quick patronizing look, their inaction did not make them any less guilty in my opinion.

Dain let out another loud sigh. He then sat up straight, looking to either side of him at his advisors assembled there. Though not one of them said a word, it appeared as though Dain had come to some decision on his own, as he rose to his feet burdened by the weight of judgement.

Dwalin, though, was not convinced by the silence of the king's council, and spoke up with one last word. "My liege, this coward sits in your lavish halls, dining on your fine foods, being doted on by those she deems lesser than her, and then commits an act of heresy, a hate crime against someone who lost everything in gaining us this mountain - someone who then fought and bled alongside you in defense of it! If that is not punishable by the full extent of our laws-"

"ENOUGH!" Dain shouted furiously, struggling to keep himself under control. "Ten seconds more and I swear..." he spat as he glared about. "We haven't heard more than three words from you since the battle, and now you feel entitled to give me a lecture about my own damn laws! Durin's beard, if you don't let me make a bloody decision, one which I'm sure you'll be at least a wee bit sated with, I swear I'll knock you out cold and give us all some peace quiet. Now then, by my axe, let me do my job so we can get some justice for the poor lass." he commanded as he gestured towards me.

Dwalin clenched his fists, looking for all the world like he was ready to take matters into his own hands. I tried to work up enough courage to talk the surly dwarf down, but lost my chance when an unanticipated arrival burst into the room.

"Why am I always the last to hear about this kind of thing?" Méra demanded as she thundered up to her father. She then whirled around and her eyes landed on me. She took in my hair with wide eyes and then glowered towards the other dwarrowdams in the room.

"Who did this?" she challenged, suddenly surging forward towards the guilty dwarrow.

Dain stood up and bellowed something in his own tongue, but by that time Méra had already got in a vicious right-hook that dropped Rida to the ground, and then promptly tackled the unsuspecting woman. By the time a guard pulled her away, the dark-haired dwarrowdam was sporting a bloody nose, and Méra had a cut lip.

"Méra, remove yourself or I swear by my forge you'll be locked in yer rooms for a month!"

Méra scowled, nursing her hand, and exited the hall, muttering Khuzdul under her breath as she went.

"Mahal, this is madness!" Dain exclaimed, slumping back down into his chair.

I took a breath and addressed the infuriated king before things could get worse. "My... liege," I began, clearing my throat slightly to be better heard. "I do not know your laws or customs, but I assure you that hair is regarded with much less importance to my people. There is no need for all this-"

Dain held up a hand to silence me, though it was not with the same force as his typical gestures, then he pointed to Rida. "She defends you, though she should not. You do know our laws, so you have no excuse. Do you have anything to say in defence then?"

The dwarrowdam stepped forward, jutting out her chin. "Only that it is a dishonour to have her within these halls. She is a human, and if she is allowed to marry one of us, it will be a blemish on our proud society. I am not alone in thinking this."

"But she did nothin' in particular to invoke cutting off her hair?" Dain questioned.

Rida finally dropped her gaze and shook her head slightly, causing Dain to sigh loudly once more.

"You speak of honour, yet we would never treat even an Elven guest with such discourtesy. She had no cause to be punished or shamed, and even if she did, it is not for the likes of you to dole out such treatment." he paused a moment, looking rather weary in his seat. "I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you would assault a woman that is not only a resident of Erebor, but also promised to one of our own, and one of the Company of Thorin at that?" Dain shook his head and looked to his advisors who offered no vocal support but a few of them nodded with grim faces.

"I'm sorry but my hands are tied." Dain said, standing up and raising his voice slightly. "I have no choice but to exile you from Erebor for a period of no less than five years. Arrangements will be made for your safe transfer back to the Blue Mountains, or to the Iron Hills if you should chose. If your family wishes to travel with you, it will be at their own expense."

Rida turned to fling herself woefully into the arms of her parents, who both looked as though they had been forced to swallow something unpleasant. I expected they risked dishonour if they showed sympathy for their daughter, but I had been in the shoes of a daughter forced to part from my family, so I knew how difficult the judgement must be. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a gesture from Dain, to which a guard nodded and then stepped towards the family. At first, I thought it was to remove the guilty dwarrowdam from the hall, until I spotted a knife in his hand.

Good... I thought at first, but as the dwarf approached and prepared to cut the long, elaborate locks from the head of the one who shamed me, the dwarrowdam did not make even one move to stop the further punishment. All her grief was focused on her parents, how she must have disappointed them, and how they would be forced to part or leave the home they had dreamed of returning to for so long.

"Stop!" I shouted, drawing all eyes to me, and causing Rida's sobbing to subside somewhat. I hurried forward, my outcry so unexpected or so unheard of that nobody thought to stop me as I laid a hand on the guard's arm, guiding the knife away from the hair until I could take it. Perhaps they thought I meant to do the deed myself, as my assailant began weeping again in earnest, until I dropped the dagger to the floor and turned to face Dain.

"As one who has been separated from both home and family, I know that is punishment enough... Please, let exile be enough in this case." I begged. Dain considered for a moment, and then nodded.

"Fine. She will bear her shame in silence, knowing that it was the very person she hoped to harm that spared her from a more public humiliation. Exiled for five years. You leave at dusk one day hence."

I retraced my steps out of the hall as Dain gave stern warnings to the two friends. I noticed Dwalin had followed me out and so turned to face him after the large doors had closed on the unpleasant scene behind us.

"Thank you." I breathed, giving Dwalin a sympathetic look. "For standing up for me."

"You did well in there, though she deserved worse than she got." he grumbled as he offered me my length of cut hair. I smiled despite myself as I tried to pull all the long strands from his now rather balmy hand, but was unsure what to do with it after so just stood there holding it just as awkwardly.

I sighed as I ran my other hand through my existing hair, still unused to its much shorter length. My expression must have appeared much more dismal than I had intended because Dwalin suddenly stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulders in a rare display of affection.

"Evil breeds in the guts of the lazy." he stated as he patted my back once. Before he could retreat, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug, wondering if he needed it as much as I.

"Dwalin," I said quietly, close to his ear. "We've missed you." I tightened my hold on him even though he stiffened at my words. "No one blames you..." I trailed off, but I knew that he knew I was no longer talking about my hair.

He pulled away and then looked at me with a somewhat wounded expression before turning to go. I let him leave without another word, hoping he would try to listen, to heal.

After Bofur irritatingly failed to appear after a few minutes of waiting, I began back towards to my rooms, ignoring the shocked stares as I passed a few dwarves by while carrying the length of my hair in my hand. I idly wondered if they were all now madly contemplating what horrid crime I must have committed to warrant such a treatment. I smirked - a tarnished reputation would hardly phase me after the judgement I'd already endured.

Once in my quarters, I tucked away my cut hair in a drawer as I was unsure what else to do with it but wasn't willing to throw it away quite yet. It wasn't long before I heard a knock on my door. I scowled and took my time in answering it.

"I suppose you might be here to apologize?" I asked somewhat coldly, barring the way.

"Aye. This is becoming a bad habit." Bofur replied, though he looked genuinely miserable. "Why didn't you just tell me what happened, love?"

I sighed, my anger at him already ebbing away as I moved to let him in. I went to sit on the arm on the chair and then looked up at him.

"I don't know." I bit my lip, thinking for a moment before continuing. "I wanted to avoid all the conflict, and I didn't realize it was as serious as all that - I wouldn't have expected her to be punished at all really." I continued before smiling somewhat wryly. "And you have to admit, it puts everyone in an uncomfortable situation when it's my word against a dwarf's."

Bofur shook his head. "Our justice system is a fair one." he replied, coming to stand in front of me. He placed a hand under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him. After studying my hair for a moment, he experimentally ran his fingers through it, but his face remained impossible to read.

"I'm sorry it happened." I said quietly. "It will reflect poorly on you… on us."

Bofur's expression softened and he placed both hands alongside my face. "No, you've done me proud. The way you conducted yourself in there... What you did for Rida was a selfless act she did not deserve. Everyone in Erebor will hear of your generosity."

I was comforted by his words, and wanted to believe them, but still I doubted that my staying of the blade to save her hair would be enough to sway the minds of those other dwarves, ones like Rida, that truly believed I didn't belong. I took Bofur's hands in mine and pulled them down to my lap.

"I think it's time you explain exactly who she is to you." I said softly.

Bofur looked slightly distressed for a moment before he nodded and sat down in the chair with a sigh. "Aye. You're right." He mused for a minute or two and then seemed to decide where he ought to begin. "We knew each other growing up, our families were close. We'd always been friendly… it wasn't until I was already married that she decided to pledge herself to me. As you can imagine, our relationship was somewhat strained after that, since I had already found my... well, I couldn't give her what she wanted at any rate. It happens more often than you might think." he added with a grin and a shake of his head. "Dwarves, they want what they want, it's not really a conscious thing." he explained, pulling me off the chair's arm and down into his lap.

"And after... when you weren't married, you didn't consider her?" I probed.

"Nah." Bofur replied. "It doesn't work like that, I had already pledged myself to someone else, doesn't matter how many after that pledge themselves to me, they are out of luck."

"Only One can sway the heart of a dwarf." I repeated the saying Dís had told me.

Bofur simply nodded. I looked at him, waiting for him to explain the glaringly obvious question I was then left with.

"Well?" I exclaimed after I realized that no answer was forthcoming. Bofur frowned in confusion. "What of me then? Of us?"

"Oh." Bofur smiled and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "I honestly don't know."

"You don't know?" I replied dully.

"It's a mystery to me, it really is. I do know how I feel about you though, that much is certain. I love you. Truly I do."

"Even still?" I asked with a slight grimace as I reached up to feel my unfamiliar hair once more. "With this mess?"

Bofur grinned sympathetically. "It's really not all that bad. Just different." he reassured, trailing his fingers through it as well. I then suddenly remember the other reason I had been upset by the whole ordeal.

"I lost the bead you made me." I admitted sadly. I knew he could likely craft a new one, but I had felt a strong sentimental attachment to the old and was rather disappointed knowing there was no way to recover it.

"Did she take it?"

I told him somewhat wistfully how Rida had gone through the trouble of tossing my courting braid into the fire.

"That's a tad dramatic." Bofur said with a frown. "She could have just cut the braid instead of the whole lot… Better yet she should have taken her anger out on me. It wouldn't be unheard of..." he added. "It was my fault, for enabling her. I should have realized her feelings would be the same, I just didn't want to be rude is all."

I nodded in understanding, knowing his actions at the dance had been nothing more than chivalrous. It really wasn't his fault if Rida had taken more from it and gotten her hopes up. Still, some of what she said still stuck with me and an uneasiness began to claw at my mind. She could give him everything I could not. What if seeing her again made Bofur rethink his choice in me. If he was not bound by the rules of Ones and marrying for life (and death), could he not suddenly materialize feelings for her just as he had for me? Perhaps it wasn't fair of me to hold him back. Perhaps I should give him time to really think about what he wanted - we had only known each other for a short while after all, and everything was different now as we settled into our lives in the mountain.

Bofur, who had been studying me, finally asked about my thoughts.

"We could wait, you know." I stated quietly, looking down at my hands.

"Wait?" he questioned.

"Wait to get married… until my hair grows longer. It will take awhile before it's back the way it was, but if you wanted to..." I trailed off and glanced up at Bofur to see that he was smiling sadly at me.

"No. I don't want to wait." he said determinately, taking up my hand once more and kissing my fingers. "Besides, I reckon I can still braid piece of it."

My fears somewhat lessened, I listened contentedly as he went on to explain that dwarves didn't adorn their hair at all when they wed. Instead they left it completely free and their intended was the first to put in new braids during the ceremony.

"Of course," he added after telling me a few more details, "we don't have to do any of this, if you wanted to follow human wedding traditions..."

"No, that sounds lovely." I stated. "That is, if you're not expecting anything more complicated in your hair than what you have now. You know I'm not good at it." I smiled at him and gave one of his braids a gentle tug. "We can perhaps think about integrating a few human customs," I continued thoughtfully, "but if we are to be married here, then I would like to do as much as we can, properly, in the traditions of your people."

Bofur grinned and nodded and then said nothing more so I shifted and leaned my head close to his neck.

"You sure you don't find me hideous now?" I asked teasingly, though part of me wanted his reassurance once more after his strong adverse reaction earlier.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.

"Never."